Hello to friends both old and new and welcome to the today’s edition of Big Boob Friday.
Well, it’s been a difficult week for us here at the ol’ H2. A time of great sadness has befallen us as we have lost a beloved friend and an original Hostage this past weekend. A person for whom the word “original” is wholly inadequate.
Lance (Rosetta) was a man of great heart, great humor and great passion. One could not help but be amazed by his incredible zest for life and laughter. Upon meeting him, you instantly became his friend, and not in the shallow, meaningless bullshit-cocktail-party sort of way. He honestly took you into his heart and actually cared about you from that moment forward.
We have all shared many stories and remembrances these past few days. It many ways, it has helped to ease our pain. The fun and the laughter… that is who Lance was and will always be to me, as I sure he will be to many, many others.
It almost feels like an insult to his memory to be sad. But someday, hopefully soon, the sadness will subside and we will all be together and raise a toast to our friend with a smile.
But I did not come to this post to mourn Lance. No, I came here to praise Rosetta. And of course, to make fun of him.
I think that is what he would have wanted.
So mix yourself up a caipirinha, sit back and enjoy
The Hostages is a creation of so many people and so many years. But I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that Rosetta truly gave this place it’s soul. So many things about this place, the on-going inside jokes, the tenor of our humor, just the ridiculous silliness of it all can, in a great many ways, be attributed to him. As has been said before, the man could insult you straight to your face, and you would walk away smiling.
Who here doesn’t briefly grin when someone asks for the salt at the dinner table? Who here hasn’t silently screamed “COUNT YOUR DICK” at some asshole co-worker? Who here didn’t think that my name was Richard for a very, very long time? (well, not me, of course. ‘Cause I’m not a fucking idiot.)
But one of his greatest creations, one that almost seems to have come about as an after-thought one crisp autumn Friday afternoon, yet has remained a long-standing tradition and an almost defining feature of this place, is, of course, Big Boob Friday. Yes, Rosetta certainly had a appreciation for women with bigguns. And it seemed that he had… well.. let’s say.. a “type.”
For those of you who were not here in those early days, a little history. The Hostages actually used to have more than one post a day. In fact, there were days when almost everyone would post something. Sometimes it was actually content, sometimes it was just a post to bust another Hostage’s balls, but there could easily be 5 or 6 posts here in a single day.
And those posts would get 15 or 20 comments. A long one had maybe 60 comments.
And then, on September 28, 2007, something magical happened.
Rosetta posted this:
Like cookies & milk or blow & dead hookers, some things just go together. It’s almost as if nature conspired to make us happy by bringing together two things that are in perfect harmony with one another.
Such is the case with big boobs and Fridays. I don’t know why they go together but they do. And who are we to ask why, really?
Having big boobs is like having a lot of money; you can never have enough and if you bitch about it, everyone will hate your guts. Big boobs also have to be real to count. The reason for that is that wiserbud could get fake big boobs if he wanted. And no one wants to see that.
Since everything needs a song, “I Must Increase My Bust” is the theme for Big Boob Friday. It sounds better really loud and after 10 beers.
If you don’t know the Lords of Acid then you didn’t do enough drugs in college.
Now that we have the housekeeping matters out of the way, I give you today’s model, Milena Velba.
Once Wickedpinto is out of his bunk, we can sing happy birthday to him because I think today is his birthday.
Like I said, a “type”
Couple of pieces of trivia here: That post got a grand total of 16 comments. And that was also the very first day that he started using what would become his signature avatar.
Then, Christmas of 2007, it happened. The one moment that would change us all for the rest of our lives. The moment that will live in infamy. The moment Rosetta presented us with this:
A a star was born.
I believe Lauraw said it best in her comment that day:
Ecchh. I usually keep my criticism of your women to myself, but Rosetta, WTF?
Yeah, when a gal has a big beer belly and a foot-wide muff, it would be difficult for her to not have huge knockers too.
I don’t believe you guys sometimes. That’s some nasty ‘model.’ What does she model? Dumptrucks?
And her facial expression isn’t sexy…looks like she’s about to say ‘chocolate covered chicken.’
Seriously, man. You’re perilously close to rag-on-a-stick territory here.
Ahhhh feel so much better.
Think I’ll go kick a puppy.
Yes, Lauraw was cruel to Rosetta that day, my friends. She truly cut him deeply with her impudence. But fear not! Rosetta would eventually have his revenge.
Rosetta would go on to defend the beauty and charms of Miss Kerry Marie for years afterwards. She would be his go-to choice for the BBF repeatedly. The only thing more fascinating than following his progression deeper and deeper into this obsession was watching Kerry grow larger and larger over the years.
Rosetta indeed provided us with years of laughter and joy (and Xbrad with hours and hours of self-abuse) with his BBF selections. Sometimes he was making the joke, or sometimes we were deriding his selection for that week.
As time went on, the feature became more and more popular, attracting more and more people to the blog and more and more comments regarding Kerry Marie’s weight. Rosetta would have a few clunkers here and there, but for the most part, he did pretty damn well and kept his use of obese Eastern European women to a minimum.
Random trivia time! Name the Hostage who was also a BBF Gal!
Of course, there was a spelling error, just to piss off Hootspur.
Here’s a couple of extra examples of Rosetta’s selections, just so you know he wasn’t totally insane…
So while we all had fun at Rosetta’s expense regarding his affinity for the heftier gals, we must always remember…
He did also give us Erica Campbell…
…..all previous sins are forgiven.
RIP, my brother.
Some stuff happened in history today. Here, look it up.
I also promised this would be a joke thread.
Worst names for funeral homes.
Dewey, Eatem & Howe
Now please excuse me while I run an extremely deep anti-virus and anti-spyware scan.
the things I do for you people……..
Edit: Added pics of arrangement from Cyn:
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.