Our Friend Rosetta

Rest in Peace, Rosetta

~thank you for the gifts of your humor, your love, your hugs, and

your wonderful being you~

June 17, 1769 – April 9, 2016

***

The following is a post originally published on October 26, 2011. It was a brilliant concept where we all wrote eulogies about each other but got to read them before we were were gone. Below was the eulogy written by BlackIsWhite on Our Friend Rosetta:

*** *** ***

 

Allen Klein said “Humor does not diminish the pain—it makes the space around it get bigger.”

Allen must have known our friend Rosetta, who was taken from us at far too young an age by the first known transmission of plant-to-human potato blight.

From an early age, Rosetta knew the kind of emotional pain that many are fortunate not to experience until later in life.  When he was 7, his parents allowed him to be kidnapped by cast members of “Up With People” when the show passed through his home town, or so he thought.  As it turned out, they actually sold him to the producer of the travelling production, although he did not find this out until later in life when he had a chance meeting with his brother in a latex fetish store that he had wandered into seeking a neon pink hosenphucker suit.  He was soon reunited with his parents, who were impressed that his fetishes had exceeded even their own in terms of their weirdness.

Those early years in the theatre made an impression on our young friend, as did the straps and leather ties used on him by his “uncles and aunts” as soon as he was old enough to drive the touring company bus.  While he never liked to talk much about those formative years, they did nothing to reduce the sensitivity of young Rosetta, whose overriding love of show tunes (especially the score from “Paint Your Wagon“) was only surpassed by his fascination with latex clothing and the myriad of colors and styles that were introduced at the annual Latex Fashions Show in Berlin.

When Rosetta left the travelling theatre company to put down roots and attend community college, he soon realized that his upbringing was anything but average.  He excelled at his studies, having trained himself five years earlier to get by on only an hour of sleep a night.  While his perspective was not often appreciated by the more serious peoplesurrounding him, others quickly came to realize that he was a funny mofo, and he quickly drew a following that was willing to overlook his personality quirks and Howard Keel-esque voice belting out famous show tunes through the dorm hallways after the local bars had closed.  Not a few of his fellow students also came to resent his easy wit and ability to charm the pants off of their girlfriends…literally.

By his senior year in college, Rosetta believed he had no skills to speak of and thought his prospects to be dim.  Over a pitcher of caiphurnias, a friend convinced him that while no one would ever be looking to him for the next great mathematical equation, the grand unified theory of physics, or the next great novel that high school students around the country would someday be forced to read, it didn’t matter, because he was a funny mofo, and if he used it to his advantage, he could be richer than all those other guys.  Realizing that the charm he used to talk comely co-eds out of their frilly panties and bras was the same charm that could sell Eskimosice futures and politicians shares in wind farms,  he went into financial services, and never looked back, proving George Herbert‘s apt observation, “In conversation, humor is worth more than wit, and easiness more than knowledge.”

Although he managed to turn laughter into conquests, he eventually met a beautiful woman who left him hopelessly smitten.  He tempered hischarm with heartfelt sincerity, and she was impressed beyond any words other than “I do.”  However, he never stopped appreciating the variations on beauty that surrounded him, and never lost the appreciation for a great set of overstuffed boobs that was taught to him by the jaded old queers in the travelling theatre company.  When he saw his first picture of Kerry Marie, devouring an all-you-can eat Chinese Buffet, by herself, he began a lifelong infatuation, marked by photos of the buxom lass in numerous cheeseburger and pizza stalking positions, leaving him the exquisite torment of a fixation that could never be requited, but could at least be calmed by an annual subscription to her website, a CD with a copy ofQueen’s Fat Bottomed Girls on a continuous loop, and the ability to add her in a BBF post every few months, so he could read Wiserbudcomplaining about how much fatter she was in the newest post than in the last BBF post he included her in.

Rosetta drew many people, regulars and lurkers, to the Hostages, mostly because he could make anything into a joke.  People stayed because Rosetta’s jokes and gags helped so many to cope with personal tragedies and setbacks, as well as a world that brought fresh news daily about how it chose in large and small ways to abandon reason, and make the absurd the new normal.  Another friend of mine once remarked that it is a very angsty place.  But it was also a place he helped to make a home. Whether he was blaming Mare, or explaining how he had decided to declare himself a racist because a teacher had decided to be a douchebag to a politically aware young lady who had the temerity to wear a t-shirt that offended thepolitically correct teacher’s sensibilities, he was finding ways to tailor humor into a universal language that made you laugh and made you cheer as he poked the finger into the eyes of those who wanted to suck the joy out of life for others around them.  This bald, grinning man displayed one of the kindest souls I have ever encountered, and understood better than most the power of the tongue.

He never used it to build up, but he also never used it to tear down, which is a remarkable thing.  He was a rare man.  One who understood this great power, and could have used it himself to great effect, but chose instead to use it to help people to forget, or at least take refuge, if only for a few moments, from those things which they could not forget.  I believe that this was because he knew all too well about the sorrows that life could inflict upon the human condition, and generously gave of himself that which he wanted most for himself…to feel the stings of life neutralizedby the healing joy of laughter.  This is why he could touch so many people in ways that left them wanting more, instead of wanting to press charges.

When I read the account of the birth of his and his wife’s son Max, I cried.

In a profession that necessarily robs you of your humanity, just so you can keep other people’s secrets, and bring order to the dysfunction of their lives, I never thought that I would be able to be moved by someone’s story that way.  But that was our friend and brother’s greatest gift.  To remind us that our experiences shape our souls, but our character defines who we are, and I fear that I could never face the same thing in my life without letting the pain twist my soul and saturate it with a bitterness that would contaminate everything about me.  I think of the things that so many of us carry around, and I think this is a confirmation of the old bromide that “God never gives us more than we can handle.”  Rosetta had so much love to share with children that the loss of one couldn’t change who he was; there was so much love that flowed out of him like a river that it couldn’t change him.  And when his son Henry was born, we saw the light that Rosetta carried around shined even brighter.

Even if I could, I wouldn’t ask God to bring our friend back to us; Max waited patiently for his time with Daddy, and even someone as jaded as myself isn’t that selfish or cruel.  My request is for the next best thing:

That God never lets his words lose their power to touch us.

Those words, with our memories, are the legacy that he left for us.  And if we cannot enjoy his company any longer, then those words, and the laugher they draw out of us should be sufficient to take some of the stingout of the tears that we shed today at the loss of our friend, who understood what Sir Francis Bacon knew when he said “Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.”

“Goodbye” is uttered too often by grieving people at their loved ones’ funerals.  Rosetta and I shared the belief that shuffling off the moral coilis only the beginning.  Therefore I will only say “Expect us when you see us, man, man-lesbian.  Until then, keep the indians cold, and give Max a kiss for us.”

*** *** ***

Hugs for all

XOXOXO

409 Comments

  1. Wow, the categories… made me cry all over again.

  2. Yeah, me too, Cyn.

  3. Gout.

  4. Thank you Cyn.

  5. I already miss the question game.

  6. Heh, nice avatar, Sean!

  7. I always enjoyed his humor but I never had the pleasure of meating him in the flesh. Guess I’ll have to wait until SMOD to see him in Spiritland(TM)

  8. Welp, I made the mistake of actually *reading* the eulogy.

    *buys more stock in Kleenex*

  9. I forgot to add Tourette’s guy and Rosetta’s hilarious comments about those videos…some of my favorite stuff.

  10. Rosetta was talking about Facebook and Vman says something like, “Yeah, I don’t know how it happened but I’m friends with SOS Cat.”

    Rosetta wore out his HAHAHAHAHAHAHA’s

    I never told Rosetta (or Vman) SOS Cat was me.

  11. [lasers-in the last piece of the eulogy to fix the post]

  12. I am truly stunned by this. I thought for certain that he would die from complications after gender reassignment surgery. Or donkey AIDS, maybe. But not like this.

    Seriously, though, I feel truly blessed to have met the man during the first edition of TITS. He was every bit as funny and warm in person as I had imagined he would be. He may have been a DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER, but I was proud to call him a friend.

  13. Ha – excellent avatard update, there Mr. Cassidy.

  14. Cyn, birth year should be 1969 /HS

  15. That Mercy Me, Homesick video about did me in, BiW.

  16. Thanks TS, left that off intentionally; I wanted to make that youngster old than me ;)

  17. Oh man, Max. The goodbye.

  18. Heartbroken for the H2 family and Rosetta’s family.

  19. I shall keep it during the mourning period. Least I can do.

  20. I’ll check out the links soon, I’m sure after five years there’s plenty of them that no longer work. I can’t quite get to clicking them just yet.

  21. The Max Goodbye was, so, ufffff, difficult and beautiful.

  22. I don’t what to say. You know that’s not normal for me.

    I love you all very much.

  23. o7

  24. Mercy Me-Finally Home

    *bites cheek, surrenders to allergies

  25. Good on ya DiT

  26. Scott, I’m crying I’m laughing so hard at the Steering Wheel thread. The whole thread is funny. So Rosetta.

  27. Well hell’s bells, that’s horrible news. I remember showing Penelope all the Henry pics. Dammit.

  28. Certainly you’re not… (Does math in head…)
    Never mind…

  29. * buys stock in Poo Pen Industries *

  30. * buys stock in Poo Pen Industries *

    ——

    LOL

  31. Know what else is funny?

    Google image search Floyd’s balls, then hit page down twice.

  32. I had a football coach in hs named Ernie Floyd and I’m not doing this

  33. You know what’s the best thing in life? When kids come in the store and play the drums or guitar for hours and hours.

    You know what’s even better?

    When they decided to do it today.

  34. That’s hilarious, Scott!!

  35. I’ll check out the links soon, I’m sure after five years there’s plenty of them that no longer work. I can’t quite get to clicking them just yet.

    More than I’d like. Who are these content owners to go and crap all over the funny to our friend?

  36. See? Mare trusts me.

  37. That Mercy Me, Homesick video about did me in, BiW.

    It STILL does me in.

    ———————————————————————————

    I’m never writing a eulogy for any of you bastages while you’re still alive ever again.

    And Jewstin…I’m sorry, man.

    http://www.philipchircop.com/post/9178910566/what-is-your-birthmark-gary-larson-creator-of

  38. You know what’s the best thing in life? When kids come in the store and play the drums or guitar for hours and hours.

    You know what’s even better?

    When they decided to do it today.

    Did they play Stairway to Heaven?

  39. They have been playing the MTV theme over and over and over and over…… going on two hours.

    Owner refuses to kick them out because they might buy something in a month.

  40. XBrad brought me here from AoS, but it was Rosetta who welcomed me (and gave me the passwords my second day here, SMH) and told me this place was the internet version of dodgeball. I never got a birthday stick of pain, but I did get hugs in STL and Tempe.

    Sending me pics of Henry with the baby blanket I’d made. Sharing his Bloody Mary because I’d never had one. Posting that weird hosefucker picture so many times, I finally had the tinyurl memorized. The Proof of Life poat with the high school pics and George Harrison’s “All Those Years Ago”. Hostages 90210. Five dozen emails with the subject line “Charlie Sheen’s Balls”. The Photoshop of Rosetta’s bald head into boobs.

    I got the news at work and somehow kept my act together. All I want to do is howl from the pain. I’m not doing HHD, going to let this poat stand in for Wednesday.

    Dammit Rosetta. Count your dick.

  41. You should point them to your record listening area and tell them about the 20% off specials on vinyl and cassettes.

  42. Did they play Stairway to Heaven?

    Cover songs. Why does it always have to be cover songs?

  43. Rather than be sad be happy he was

  44. Well this day suxzzorz, but at least we have the good mammories B.

    You all are strange and beautiful.

    Imma have a sip.

  45. Cyn,
    He was not born on 1909, honest!

  46. on = in

  47. Whew, just read the Reft Reg post again.
    Funny stuff.

    I bet we could create a best selling book with some of the old funny.

  48. It’s good to see you, MCPO.

    How you hittin em?

  49. Okay Chrispy; fixt.

  50. “…were were gone”?

  51. I sent Rosetta my pic for POL . I said,”I look like a Lesbian.” He said, “No you don’t and I would know!”

    Hahahaha

  52. Rosetta sent a thank you note for blue suede shoes I sent Henry (they matched a pair Rosetta had). On the envelope he taped a pic of SOS cat. We linked that to each other about 100 times.

    Hahahaha

  53. Worst car names? Lamborgina.

    Ha ha ha

  54. Tennis shoes. Puma or adidas can’t remember.

  55. I think the cereal names thread is funny.

  56. Really, any thread Rosetta was on was funny to me.

  57. I remember Fake Reg like it was yesterday. It was five fucking years ago.

    I was in the office by myself (think it was Saturday or Sunday) and I was laughing so hard my sides ached and I was crying.

    I lost another really close internet buddy – Apotheosis – a few years ago. Some of you may have known him from AoS. He’s the person who showed me this blog. But he never posted here, only lurked.

    That one hurt a lot too. Just like this does.

  58. Scott – Broke down and spent my first Social Security check (thanks working people) on a new set of clubs. Still adjusting.

  59. Thanks, Cyn.
    He made it 247 years, but he looked so young!

  60. I remember him, Hotspur.

    It’s such a sad day. I haven’t told my husband (who has heard numerous stories of him) because I’ll have to tell him and you know when you tell someone who loves you something bad and they are sad for you it sometimes makes it worse?

    Even my kids know a ton about Rosetta.

    As we speak my husband thinks something got under my contact.

  61. I remember Fake Reg like it was yesterday. It was five fucking years ago.

    Laura, Scott and I laughed our asses off while making that.

    We were like little kids on Christmas Eve as we waited for that package to arrive on his doorstep.

    His response was better than we ever expected.

    I remember visiting him after he received that. He eventually told me that he had to keep it hidden, because no one else but a Hostage would understand. He put in on display because I was there and he didn’t want to offend me.

    But he loved that thing.

  62. Fake Reg was one of the best!!

  63. 5 years?

    Hoo Boy.

  64. Mare he asked for my pic for pol about day 2 also. I emailed it to him and he emailed back something like, “Hey asshole, can you find something that doesn’t make you look like Jeffrey Daumer?” Babtist by fire h2 style.

  65. I don’t comment here much, I do read your fuckerys though, because this pile of halfwits and retards are some of the funniest human beings it’s been my personal hell to have come across.

    When I do manage to comment, it’s usually a highly technical rating system involving some thingies.

    I just can’t this time.

    So I’ll just be me for once, and tell you all how you are loved, and cherished by me because of your amazing lives.

    My world is a diminished place now because rosetta is gone.

    My heart breaks for the loss of a friend.

  66. Is Paulitics here? Rosetta and I laughed our asses off over his POL…because everyone elses was so goofy. His is pretty starched collar.

  67. ass pennies

  68. Okay, PD now you need to show us the pic you gave Rosetta.

  69. BiW. Now that your back, remember the guy that got banned in part for telling is we were a couple of fat motherfuckers and we’re gonna die. I was about 275 then, made it up to 355 for a while and am back down around 290.

    I’m still here and I’m damned glad you are too.

  70. (((Hugs))) unclefacts.

  71. I’ll see if I can email it. Don’t know how to poat it.

  72. Clearly I’ve been on FB too much…I’m trying to “like” all these comments

  73. http://is.gd/gZQWnx

  74. PJMomma, it sure would be awesome to see you around here more. I have soooo many questions!!

  75. I cringe at the thought that as he passed through the pearly gates, Rosetta must have asked St Peter how many bullwhips were there RIGHT NOW.
    and then asked God to count his .. you know what.

  76. Scott, I literally cried and laughed at the same time!

    Well done!

  77. Shut Up Woman Get On My Horse

    God, he loved that.

  78. Mare, I always liked you best.

  79. Hotspur… He did love that.

    Can you guys (always to include gals (old school)) believe the laughs we’ve had over what? 12-15 years?

  80. Paulitics if you were here I’d give toasts in your honor!!

  81. Yes, Mare, when I try to explain this place to real life friends, they look at me like Tim Allen going, “rrhuhh?”

  82. I’d wear my best starched collar for you.

    That’s saying alot.

  83. BiW. Now that your back, remember the guy that got banned in part for telling is we were a couple of fat motherfuckers and we’re gonna die. I was about 275 then, made it up to 355 for a while and am back down around 290.

    I’m still here and I’m damned glad you are too.

    Having and using the Fitbit my wife got me for my birthday two years ago got me down about 50 lbs. For the last month, my personal life has been in so much turmoil that I’ve essentially been on the “My Life Has Turned to Shit” diet, and I’ve lost more than 30 lbs over that period.

    I’m lighter than I’ve been in 20 years. My life is pretty shitty at the moment, but my blood sugar is consistent and good for the first time in about 6 years, so at least it won’t be THAT killing me.

  84. What the hell is FaceBook.

    It sounds very gay.

  85. And I’ll have a new POL picture for posting in October. I’ll let Xbrad take it.

  86. Yes, Mare, when I try to explain this place to real life friends, they look at me like Tim Allen going, “rwhuh?”

    My wife used to worry that I was having some sort of fit. Then she’d see the screen, and say “Oh. It’s THEM.”

  87. I really miss this place. I’ve become an absent ghost due to work, mostly. Travel a lot, but mostly because I’m no longer on my computer all day, but a client’s. And I don’t think it would be a good idea to be commenting from their machine, if you get my drift.

  88. BiW, if your life is shitty, please be with us more often. Maybe we can add some support and mirth.

  89. “Oh. It’s THEM.”

    Been there. Oh yeah.

  90. Rosetta once said, if I meet you, mare I guarantee I’ll make you wet your pants!

    I always thought I’d meet him, I know you tools scoff, but it was bound to happen.

  91. Mare, plus one on telling your significant other the bad news and then it gets worse.

    Now I’m a wreak.

    All you lurks are showing some class.

    Thank you.

  92. Anyone having a shitty time, please do whatever it is that makes it unshitty. If you think it’s going to inconvenience anyone, screw that. Be happy!

    I care about all of you. I hope you all know that, and that I’d be there for you, no matter what.

    Don’t let anything get between that, especially fear, pride, etc.

  93. “…I’ll let XBrad take the picture.”

    Take Cover!!!

  94. BiW, if your life is shitty, please be with us more often. Maybe we can add some support and mirth.

    As it happens, I have a lot more time on my hands than I used to. Especially on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other weekend.

    And when I move, it will be to someplace smaller, so the keystroke echo won’t be nearly so loud.

  95. Never met Rosetta, but he was, hands down, the most savage and funniest commenter I’ve ever read, anywhere. Period.
    And I’m an old Internet bastard.
    Even at 246, he was too young….
    RIP.

  96. Actually, I got my first tablet, so maybe I’ll show up here more often. Got it for a $1 on special while we were getting Mrs. P a new phone at Verizon. I know why it was a $1 — it’s slow, it doesn’t work, and it has no memory. I call it Xbrad.

  97. I’m still here and I’m damned glad you are too.

    Cranky, Batman, PA, and Rosetta all knocking back drinks and arguing about their Hostage Deadpool Picks.

    I can’t be the only one who has that mental picture.

  98. Glad you’re still on this side of th grass BiW. And I echo hotspurs advice. It’s the first intelligent thing he’s said in six months so pay heed.

  99. What Jay said.

    Just because we are fake friends doesnt mean it’s not real care and concern.

    There’s a lot of love in this dumpster.

  100. My wife used to worry that I was having some sort of fit. Then she’d see the screen, and say “Oh. It’s THEM.”

    Even the kids. “Can you tell us what was so funny?” “No.” “Awwww.”

  101. “It’s the first intelligent thing he’s said in six months so pay heed.”

    Wasn’t even drooling.

  102. Is there ever going to be a meatup in Southern California? Evar?

  103. Just because we are fake friends doesnt mean it’s not real care and concern.

    THIS. Mr. RFH and I had a nasty fight because he couldn’t understand why I was so sad about Patty Ann, when I’d never met her in meatspace. He’s leaving me alone tonight.

  104. Alright…time to leave my quiet office and drive for an hour in the rain to my quiet home and have some dinner.

    I’ll check back in when I get there.

  105. What happens in the dumpster stays in the dumpster.

  106. Wait, I thought you were kidding. WTF?

  107. *ahem*
    Father Hotspur here.
    Eternal rest grant unto him, oh Lord, and may Perpetual Light shine upon him.
    May his soul, and the souls of the faithfully departed rest in peace.
    Amen

  108. bcoch is in the dark. Anyone know how to add him to the email thingy?

  109. >> There’s a lot of love in this dumpster.

    The “Dead Hooker Storage” sign never fails.

  110. I think slublog may be in the dark too.

  111. Slu knows

  112. slublog was on early, I believe.

  113. I’m devastated, I can only imagine how those of you who got to talk in person and hug Rosetta must feel.

    Like Roamy said, even though you haven’t met someone you can be incredibly sad. Incredibly.

  114. Is there ever going to be a meatup in Southern California? Evar?

    There will be if you host one, dummy.

  115. added brent

  116. It doesn’t take meeting in person to feel close. It helps, but not essential.

    For instance, I feel close to Mare. But, if she turns out to be MJ, I guess my theory is shot all to hell.

  117. Hotspur, I will always love you for that comment.

  118. add jimbro too

  119. J’ames, add me too, please if it’s not too much trouble.

  120. >> Fake Reg was one of the best!!

    Oh, God, I laughed so hard I cried. That was awesome.

    A month or so ago, I injured a toe and it got infected. When I was trying to figure out why my foot hurt so bad, the Mrs. said “you might have gout.” I immediately thought of El Goutcho and Reft Reg, Fake and just busted out laughing.

    God damn I miss that fucker so much already.

  121. Wiser got BC on; gimme a sec to add you Jimbro

  122. You People™ are making me cry and laugh and cry. I’m crauphing!

  123. I got Alice, you got Jimbro

  124. I think we should send a donation to Rosetta’s charity, with a note to the family about how much he meant to us.

    Cyn, this is your specialty, would you do us the honors?

  125. I didn’t know they had another child. When did that one make an appearance? Cyn?
    And for him not to drop by and tell us……:(

  126. I think that’s a fantastic idea.

  127. I already had the window open to make it so Hawtspur.

  128. Mare, you knew him. He was exactly the same in person, maybe maybe a little taller.

  129. They adopted a girl, beasn.

  130. On second thought, Lori could use it more with two babies with no daddy.

    You guys weigh in.

  131. It was requested to make a donation. But if there’s etiquette to sidestep that, all the better.

  132. Can’t believe Cyn thought I was wiser.

    At least it wasn’t wiserbud.

  133. The donation was requested and Lori will be all good, promise.

  134. Thanks, Scott.

  135. Ha, sorry ’bout that Jay – I HAVE TOO MANY TABS OPEN!!1

  136. Cyn the Wise.

    (But not the Wiser)

    *hee

  137. Can’t believe Cyn thought I was wiser.

    coulda been worse. she coulda thought I was you.

    {{{{{shudder}}}}}}

  138. I’ve heard that the Wounded Warrior thing is a really poorly run charity, and I am being kind with my word choice.

    * lowers chin and whispers…..scam *

  139. I was keeping that to myself, as it was a wish of the family.

  140. Wiser, you might really want to go to the funeral. If finances won’t permit, I have a shit ton of FFM on Delta.

  141. So, we give to Wounded Warrior on our own or as a group? H2 kickass donation would be great.

  142. Same, Scott. And J’Ames.

  143. I agree with Scoot. Let’s find something more worthy of the ethical man Rosetta was.

  144. I agree with Scott, Wounded Warrior has been rife with controversy. I want something good done for Rosetta. You guys pick , I’m in.

  145. How about two little kids?

  146. Fisher House.

  147. Thanks for the offer, HS, but I really would rather not.

  148. What mare said.

  149. Yes, and I don’t care what for. College, movies, fun, whatever.

  150. >> Fisher House

    Second

  151. How about two little kids?

    I think we should honor her request, despite how we feel.

  152. It’s good we’re hashing this out. It’s very H2!

  153. “would rather not.”

    Understood, my brother.

    We need to do an hour of silence, or something, at the time of his service.

  154. That was her request?

  155. Thanks Scott.

    And ditto regarding Wounded Warriors. It gives me pause, but if that was what the family requested…

  156. I’ll contribute. The HoveRound can go without spinners for another month.

  157. That’s what it said on his Obituary, Scott. In lieu of flowers….

  158. That was part of the obituary, scott.

  159. The HoveRound can go without spinners for another month.

    I don’t care who you are, that right there is funny.

  160. I’m fine with whatever.

  161. Obituary written by whom? Were they biased?

  162. At the risk of sounding like the blog’s crotchety fucking Alzheimer’s only member, we do what we think is best.

    WWRD

  163. If the Republican Presidential nominee loses Missouri by one vote, I am going to be soooooo pissed……

  164. “sounding like”

  165. Hahahahaha ILY, Wiser.

  166. We need to do an hour of silence, or something, at the time of his service.

    Agreed. Your job is to get Car In to not talk about zumba.

  167. Hahahahaha ILY, Wiser.

    :)

  168. Or her stoopid fake doubles.

  169. Scott, it is stated as such at the funeral home link.

  170. If the Republican Presidential nominee loses Missouri by one vote, I am going to be soooooo pissed……

    Well, we all want to make a difference. That’s not how I’d personally go about it, but whatever.

  171. WWP has made significant changes in its personnel, and presumably, after the 60 Minutes segment, is paying close attention to ensuring it is doing the best if can for Veterans.

    And even when they were at their worst, they *did* provide quite a bit of services.

  172. WWRD

    Call us hosefuckers and make some stupid joke about salt?

  173. I don’t know about inside stuff, but is Lori okay with a H2 contribution to Wounded Warrior?

  174. I bet Rosetta was aware of WW shenanigans. He lurved children.

  175. Please, my friends, do you really think there will be no flowers?

    Do you really think there will be no donations to the more pertinent charity we will not name on this blog?

    We should give to that which we know Rosetta, and we knew him better than most, would have been in favor of.

  176. Hose Fuckers Anonymous?

  177. Please, my friends, do you really think there will be no flowers?

    I plan on being there. We’ll see if there will be flowers.

  178. Bullwhips Anonymous.

  179. I say we leave this in Cyn’s capable hands. I will support both financially and spiritually whatever she does.

  180. In that case, we should rent a school bus and buy a huge bottle of Jagermeister for the H2 Wake.

  181. *switches allegiance to Andy*

  182. Beasn, please include the Hostages praying for him during the Intercessions.

  183. I’d prefer you all to hash it out as to where we want to donate. I’ve looked at their site.

    I would like to see us do flowers too

  184. I know you dicks won’t believe this but this weekend I’m going to a secret birthday deal, where we are the surprise to the person who let us stay in her place while we were looking and having our place built. 6 months.

    Also my daughter is moving to Bar Harbor for six months to work. She wants us to help drive her up there at the end of the month.

    Meaning, I want to be at Rosetta’s funeral, I want to do everything, I’m screwed again.

  185. I don’t care for the charity, but it was the wishes of the family.

  186. Agree wth Cyn.

    I will do both.

  187. Is there a Hosefuckers University?

  188. I would LOVE to have a presence at Rosetta’s funeral. Something that says, H2 dicks were here!

  189. *calculates how many of us are on the route from Mare’s to Bar Harbor*

    FFFFFFFUUUUUUUU

  190. Hose Fuckers Concervatives would be such a great charity!

  191. Me and my younger twin
    http://wp.me/ab9T5-d2G

  192. would it be in bad taste to suggest a joke thread would this the wrong nigh, in honor of his baldness?

  193. *Puts on bus driver uniform. *

    All righty then.

  194. Mare, you are spot on.

    People will be saying when they read the flower cards, “Hostages? Who the fuck are they?”

  195. MCPO, you DID look like brothers!!!!

  196. What is this bad taste you speak of?

  197. Too late in the night, and I’m already five Indians.

    Let’s do it the day of his memorial.

  198. God that seems like an eternity ago, Chief.

  199. Second HS. Memorial thread. Do they still make Bud Lime?

  200. Crap, that’s my truck in the background.

    One of the best nights ever.

  201. What a great pic, MCPO

  202. >> One of the best nights ever.

    Yep. Without a doubt.

  203. Yup. I teared up just looking at that photo. We had SUCH A BLAST!

  204. The 2010 Meatup was probably the seminal event of our group.

    I will never forget it.

    Other semenal events were when Rosetta and MCPO kissed.

    Wiser crashed Soho’s and PJ’s room.

    And Brewfan went back to his room alone.

  205. Rosetta is gone. I just can’t believe it. Such a personality, such a force, such humor, such fun. Such a fricken loss.

    Good night good people. Thank you for your love and support.

  206. stupid life getting in the way……very hard to catch up on this thread!

  207. I agree with Scott, Wounded Warrior has been rife with controversy. I want something good done for Rosetta. You guys pick , I’m in.

    An adoption charity?

    And a joke thread the day of his memorial would honor his spirit.

  208. “would it be in bad taste to suggest a joke thread would this the wrong nigh, in honor of his baldness?”
    If by bad taste, you mean highly appropriate? then yes

  209. Good ridd … errr … good night, Mare.

  210. The good thing about a long drive home is you have time to make calls.

    Dick sends his condolences. They were even sincere.

  211. Come on, dicks, I don’t want to miss a joke thread. Can we do it tomorrow in honor of Rosetta?

  212. Comment by pajama momma on April 12, 2016 9:48 pm

    stupid life getting in the way……very hard to catch up on this thread!

    Doubly hard if you’re only using one eye.

  213. Crap, that’s my truck in the background.

    One of the best nights ever.

    absolute magic….to be honest, it took me a long time to recover from that weekend, not just because of the alcohol, but from the overwhelming emotions from getting to meet everyone that I love so much.

  214. Doubly hard if you’re only using one eye.
    I lost the other eye in the war.

  215. Dick.

  216. The raunchier, the better.

  217. I lost the other eye in the war.

    Those thumb conflicts are the worst.

    The struggle is real.

  218. G’night Mare.

  219. Dick.

    I never understood the counting, but then I’ve only ever had one.

  220. Why good riddance, Andy?

  221. Look, have you ever fought in a thumb war? Dont’ make me declare one on you right now, cuz I totally will.

  222. >> Why good riddance, Andy?

    I’ll tell everyone else after you leave.

  223. I just saw something on facechimp. Can somebody fill me in? I’m sick to my stomach…

  224. But seriously, g’night Mare.

  225. Dammit, Peej is right. I keep looking for the “Like” button.

  226. you’ve got mail, brew.

  227. I wish we had recorded Lance and Tushar singing together that night outside the restaurant.

    “Iiiii am a maaaan, of constant sorroooow…”

  228. I never got to meet Rosie, but we corresponded for a while…I still have a letter he wrote back in which he thanked me for actually taking the time to write actual letters. I just went through my stationary and found one I never sent.

    I wish I had,

  229. On 3/3 my email acct was hacked and sent a “You should get this, it has changed my life” email to God knows who but one of them was Rosetta. I got an email the next day “Thank you buddy. Can you please send this link again? That one gave my computer a stroke for some reason. Thank you for thinking of me. Its sort of dark time in RosettaLand so I need all the help I can get.”

    Not knowing the last part was serious I sent him a response “I was hacked!11!! Password has been changed, sorry about that computer thing and the turn-for-the-worse your life has taken. This should make everything better again https://www.youtube.com/watch?y=5_sfnQDr1-o (a link to the monkey riding backwards on a pig video). When I say my prayers tonight there’s going to be one special request that somebody up there lets him know I didn’t know what was going on. :(

  230. My PayPal account is alive again and I’ve sent an email out with the details.

  231. Ok, joke thread scheduled for Friday. In fact, a Joke Thread BBF would kinda be perfect, doncha think?

  232. absolute magic….to be honest, it took me a long time to recover from that weekend, not just because of the alcohol, but from the overwhelming emotions from getting to meet everyone that I love so much.

    This has been what every meetup is like for me. Just..you’re all just such GOOD people.

    I never thought anybody would ever travel fifty feet to come to a party I threw, but WHAM. Across the country like wild bullets you all flew…thank God Lance was here to entertain everybody.

  233. Squishy hugs all around.

  234. WB, it would be perfect.

  235. >> thank God Lance was here to entertain everybody

    Perma-tagline right there

  236. I’m sure he knew, Brew.

    I’m also shocked that he checked his email.

  237. I never thought anybody would ever travel fifty feet to come to a party I threw, but WHAM. Across the country like wild bullets you all flew…thank God Lance was here to entertain everybody.

    Argh. I miss this family so much. You all were there when I needed you most……..and there when I didn’t need you.
    ah, who am I kidding? I’ve always needed you guys. I didn’t realize til today just how much. I’ve been kind shellshocked since I heard the news today.

  238. I’m also shocked that he checked his email.
    bwahahaha

  239. It’s a bumpy road. I dont feel like myself. That’s shock for ya.

    Im looking forward to the next meat. All you all should start planning now for some fun.

    Being together really Puts the shine on the apple.

  240. I volunteer to do this Friday’s BBF

  241. In case I haven’t said it lately, you all hold such a special place in my heart that losing one you is like losing family. My life has turned in a direction that doesn’t allow me the time I used to have for blogging but I lurk and think of you all often and you all are always in my prayers.

  242. I never thought anybody would ever travel fifty feet to come to a party I threw, but WHAM. Across the country like wild bullets you all flew

    T’weren’t nuthin…

  243. In case I haven’t said it lately, you all hold such a special place in my heart that losing one you is like losing family. My life has turned in a direction that doesn’t allow me the time I used to have for blogging but I lurk and think of you all often and you all are always in my prayers.

    what he said….

  244. Lauraw, I think I have it recoded. I will look tomorrow.

  245. I can’t even catch up

    Fuck that catching up thing

    Bad day Love you goobers a lot

  246. >>Comment by lauraw on April 12, 2016 10:06 pm
    I wish we had recorded Lance and Tushar singing together that night outside the restaurant.
    “Iiiii am a maaaan, of constant sorroooow…”

    Laura, we have photos of that on the Meatlocker page. All we have left are photos.

  247. We miss you, Peej.
    Anita says; “Hi!”
    I’ve not been on facechimp or twitface for 2.5 years.
    She’s still there…

  248. Go ahead wiser, I’ve got a BBF scheduled but I’ll change the date.

  249. Kerry Marie BBF?

  250. T’weren’t nuthin…

    Yeah, because all you had to do was travel 49 feet.

  251. I miss you too, Crispy!! I am fortunate to get to see Anita’s posts on FB.

  252. Go ahead wiser, I’ve got a BBF scheduled but I’ll change the date.

    Thanks.

  253. Kerry Marie BBF?

    that’s a must

  254. Yeah, because all you had to do was travel 49 feet.

    ummmmm, who picked you up at the airport in the middle of a fucking tornado?

  255. No, Tush, we have memories, and we have each other.

  256. Kerry Marie BBF?

    perhaps…. or perhaps not.

  257. Ok, joke thread scheduled for Friday. In fact, a Joke Thread BBF would kinda be perfect, doncha think?

    Who is going to tell her that he’s gone?

  258. ummmmm, who picked you up at the airport in the middle of a fucking tornado?

    Fred?

  259. Go ahead wiser, I’ve got a BBF scheduled but I’ll change the date.
    Scheduled poats??!

  260. perhaps…. or perhaps not.

    Interest is piqued

  261. Who is going to tell her that he’s gone?

    I’ll reach out to her and let her know. Maybe we’ll get a current pic…

    {{{{{{shudder}}}}}}

  262. Scheduled poats??!

    You know what made me laugh today?

    when MCPO embedded a video…

    That made me laugh.

  263. Mrs. Peel isn’t on the email list. If someone could let her know, I’m sure she would appreciate it.

    She made the first meatface.

  264. Okay, that zombie prank on drugged up sister is hilarious. PICK THE FUNFETTI CAKE!

  265. Thanks, Wiser.

    I couldn’t do it.

    She’d start blubbering, I’d start blubbering…it would be like two whales mating.

  266. Fuck you, Wiserbud*
    .
    .
    .
    * he said without rancor

  267. awwwwww…

    and fuck you back, my friend…..

  268. Just keep fucking that chicken, you guys.

  269. In case you couldn’t find it, the Reft Reg poat

    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2011/02/06/happiness-is-funny-friends/

  270. I could never do BBFs as well as Rosey, he could make gout funny.

  271. it would be like two whales mating.

    damn it turns me on when you talk like that

  272. She knows, HS.

  273. Okay, that zombie prank on drugged up sister is hilarious.

    haha I”m glad you clicked on the link…that cracked me up

  274. I hope that Rosetta gets to see Cranky

  275. Yeah, because all you had to do was travel 49 feet.

    Oh you mean like my cab ride after Wiserbud “Lewis and Clark” dropped me off at my hotel in Boston?

  276. Oh you mean like my cab ride after Wiserbud “Lewis and Clark” dropped me off at my hotel in Boston?

    haha I don’t know that story, but it’s making me laugh already

  277. I don’t know how to add her to the email so that she sees all the posts in an organized way, though.

  278. I’m honestly surprised a Boston cabbie will drive you a half-block.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD6qtc2_AQA

  279. Rosetta – as one man lez to another … I love ya

  280. Jam, going back to this morning before such tragic news, I was glad to hear that you have similar art hangin in your house.

  281. I don’t know how to add her to the email so that she sees all the posts in an organized way, though.

    are we still talking about Kerry Marie?

  282. haha I don’t know that story, but it’s making me laugh already

    How much did you tip that cabbie?

  283. It’s funny and sad and sweet to me tonight I don’t know how many times I’ve been to meetups

    But this was a Boston one and Wiserbud cannot fucking deal with one way streets. He was trying to get me back to my downtown hotel.. I finally said “ok look, there’s a cab, he’ll know, just let me out here and I’ll get there”

    Went to the cab. Told him where I needed to go. I might have been drunk.

    Cabbie looked at me goofy and shrugged.. drove exactly one half block around a building and there it was right there. Wiser, cause he is a responsible drunk followed to make sure I got home.

    $1.43 fare and that was with the buck tip.

    I don’t know that Wiser and I have laughed harder on a street corner but that’s gotta be top 5

  284. Dave, I”m not following your story at all………I saw nothing about dead hookers OR value-rite

  285. Cabbie story is one of my favs. I’ve been laughing and crying all afternoon. Love you guys. Glad that I finally got to meet some of you. Regret the meet ups I’ve missed and not de-lurking earlier.

  286. That phucker of hose made everything friggen hilarious –

    *counts Indians in the mist and haze*

  287. Funniest Rosetta moment had to be him sprawled across the hood of Officer Paul’s cruiser in CT and us offering money to see him tased.

    I did so love the St L meetup where I stood in the fountain at his and everybody else’s encouragement and said “I WAS JUST ASLEEP IN CLEVELAND I HATE THIS FUCKING DREAM” when some kid walked by and said “Hey, you in the fountain!”

    fack

  288. Alright, out. See y’all in the morning.

  289. Andy, I hope so. We miss you.

  290. Damn. I miss him.

    We live within an hour of each other, but only met at the the first TiTS.

    We had exchanged a few emails prior to that.

    I’m going to have a few questions for God tonight. Why does a good man like Rosetta have to go to you so soon? Why do do you still not smite Phat?

    I enjoyed meeting him and regret not reaching out to be better friends with his family.

  291. Goodnight, you hosefuckers and hawt chicks.

  292. Nighty dreams, Andy and Master Chief. Hugs and love.

  293. Go through the meatlocker to see Rosetta posing for a remake of the ‘American Gothic’ painting. The expression on his face is priceless.

  294. I’m going to have a few questions for God tonight. Why does a good man like Rosetta have to go to you so soon?

    and Hillary still lives…….

  295. Why do do you still not smite Phat?

    He’s giving you time to get yer shit together. It’s called “grace”, and it’s the best gift none of us deserve.

  296. Wiser, it’s been a bad enough day already. Why did you bring her up?

  297. fortunately for me…I get to work in the server room all day tomorrow…so no one will notice if I hang around here for a bit….I kinda need to

  298. Wiser, it’s been a bad enough day already. Why did you bring her up?

    sorry.

    I’m drunk.

    And angry.

    And sad.

    But mostly angry.

    So yeah… I brought her up.

    Because I fucking hate the fucking planet right now.

    I lost my best friend.

    and I’m fucking angry.

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    sorry.

  299. Forget what I said. Understood completely. Sorry.

  300. Love all of you.

  301. sorry, Paul.

    I’m just…..

    sorry

  302. looking at all these avatards together again….I keep thinking his should be hete. Going to bed. See yall tomorrow.

  303. Group squishy hug is much needed. Lots of Diet Dr Pepper. We’ve got this. Laughing through tears is who we are.

  304. I lost my best friend.

    and I’m fucking angry.

    I know.

  305. Laughing through tears is who we are.

    More truth to that than I care to admit to anyone outside our twisted little family.

  306. G’night SoWhat

  307. Wiser, my bad, not yours, brother. God bless, the pain will subside.

  308. BiW, I forgot the “Some say”.

  309. I should not comment here, but I will.
    Lance, surrounded by people who love him, insists on doing the “Always Leave Them Laughing”, right to the end.
    He KNEW that he was at the end of his rope.
    His life, his marriage, his kids were on the balance.
    He LET the demon win.
    He reached out to none of us that loved him
    He asked for help from none of us.
    He was talking to Cyn, right to the end, but gave her no clue.
    “The Big Funny Bald Guy” was him to the end.
    I’m crying here, but I’m pissed off that he never reached-out, to any of us.
    Rosetta, you broke my heart, but If I see you in the afterlife, I’m gonna kick your ass…

  310. Fuck!!
    Of all the things that could’ve brought me back here.

    Rest in peace, my friend.

  311. Sorry, I’m drinking, and pissed…

  312. Love you ChrisP

  313. Nighty Nite, Sohos; love and hugs

  314. Rosetta, you broke my heart, but If I see you in the afterlife, I’m gonna kick your ass…

    ditto

  315. Crispy, right on…couldn’t have said it better myself

  316. PJ, are you still in Santee?

    I’m asking for a friend.

  317. It’s pretty normal for us to be hurt

    And to be mad

    Gotta let ourselves understand that the disease is a goddamn demon and it steals people from their thinking and their love.

    Doesn’t mean he didn’t love, he did.

    Demon won.

    Breaks my goddamn heart but sometimes the demon wins

  318. Still don’t want to believe he’s gone. I don’t like that many people, I can’t afford to lose any of them. You people better take care of yourselves….

  319. PJ, are you still in Santee?

    *sniffs haughtily* I’ve never been in Santee…I’m in Lakeside

  320. ‘Steal’ is the right word, DiT. This kind of end feels like theft, for him and of him.

  321. I’m team Pepe. I just want to huddle and hug and let the love flow. Like a hippie.

  322. Sonofabitch – this cannot be real. Damn.

  323. You assholes need to know, you can call me anytime. ANYTIME.

    I spent five fucking hours on a long distance phone call (on my landline, my dime) with Mesa Blue when his cat’s cat died. $275 in long distance charges.

    I hate the phone.

    But call me. I don’t care if you’re having a bad day or a bad life.

    Call me.

  324. Damn, just saw this over at Ace’s, what a shame, i stop by every once in a while and always wondered where Rosetta was because i never saw any posts or comments from him, hope you’re in a better place Rosetta, maybe hanging out with PA. Been a while, but i remember i made him laugh with this –

    http://tinyurl.com/jmaxyqf

    And that he liked this song – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtIwfugF1zw

    RIP bud.

  325. Lakeside? I didn’t realize you, um, downscaled.

  326. Okay – I must have been left off of the list as well, because I never got an e-mail. Can somebody forward it to me (with ” the people’s comments if available) and will someone pleas let me know WTF happened?

    Does Aggie know? Or Herr Morgenholz?

  327. Xbrad, you’re a good man and a great guy. Looking forward to October.

  328. Stupid autocorrect – that should be “other”, not “the”

  329. Love you, XB. Thanks for the vaguebook. You saved me today. Hugs. Squishy by definition.

  330. Well, now I miss all you hosefuckers. I wish I could’ve met that bald headed lesbian in meatspace and gave him a big sack of pennies. I wish I couldve met all of you. Except wiser and wiserbud.

  331. Nice to see you, forged!
    Paulitics…I’ve always been in Lakeside, stupid face

  332. Trying not to be angry. Would’ve loved to see Rosetta’s take on Hillary’s CPT stand up.

  333. Night, all. May Rosetta, his family, and all those who loved him be in our prayers.

  334. Aggie knows. Don’t know about Herr.

  335. Love you, PJ. Now go to take your meds.

  336. Gotta let ourselves understand that the disease is a goddamn demon and it steals people from their thinking and their love.

    Truth. I know this better than I’d like.

  337. Herr is still at the HQ. Link at the ONT. Not side-barred

  338. Damn, I’m going to have to reach out to some of you to talk in real life so I can process this.

    I was dealing with some demons of my own and now I feel like I let Rosetta down by not reaching out to him.

    I just never knew. Let that be a lesson to all of us.

    When Sean gets off work he can hopefully provide some insight.

  339. Love you, PJ. Now go to take your meds.

    I’ll have you know, we’re high class here in Lakeside. The cinder blocks my truck is on are painted gold

  340. Phat, hello friend

    rough day. Talk to you any time. I don’t have any insights but I have a pleasant voice

  341. What an incredible collection of drive, wit, compassion, (sledgehammer) knowledge, skill, and love we have here –
    X is right
    We can lean on each other

  342. Dave,

    Give me a call.

    my email is patwellis-sbcglobal.net.

    Will give you my cell number. I’m having a rough time with this.

  343. email sent.. let’s talk tomorrow

  344. *crosses Lakeside of “places to live” list*

  345. Nice to see you, forged!

    PJ! Nice to see you too :)

  346. DiT CALL HIM. To any Hostages that need a shoulder…call, text, reach out.

  347. Wow, you go away for 7 or 8 years and all hell breaks loose! Most of Y’all probably don’t remember me, but I used to hang out here waaay back when it was just a handful of Hostages, and I fucking LOVED that guy. Can someone email me and tell me what happened? Maybe PJ, or BiW? My own life imploded in 2009 and I stopped hanging out here and kind of never came back, but had a ton of laughs with him and PJ in particular. My email is imbmac@yahoo.com

    This sucks

  348. When Sean gets off work he can hopefully provide some insight.

    I actually had the night off and was out to dinner with the family for my mom’s birthday. That said, I read something a while back, after Robin Williams committed suicide, about how a lot of the funniest people in this world are people with emotional pain. And there’s some truth to that. A lot of people–not everyone, but a lot–make jokes as a way of dealing with stuff. I don’t know if that was the case with our Man-Lesbian friend, but it may have been.

    I didn’t know Rosetta as well as some people here knew him, but I always loved riffing with him about stuff, and I always considered it a victory if I made him laugh. We all know about some of the tough things he weathered over the past few years, but we may never have a good idea of what drove him to do this. It must have been something incredibly difficult, though. Nobody does this carelessly.

    What I do know is this–nobody, and I mean nobody has to go through anything alone. If you’re ever in a bad place, the worst thing you can do is to keep it to yourself. There’s something magical that happens when the bad ideas that are swirling around in your head come out of your mouth–they sound different. I’ve done it a lot of times, believe me.

    The other thing that this pulls into really sharp focus for me is that every day we get is a gift. Try to use those days well. Don’t hold grudges any more than you have to. Let the people you love know that’s how you feel about them. Try to look back over your day before you drift off to sleep and see what you did well and what needs some work. And if you’re really lucky, you’ll get to try again tomorrow.

  349. Love you Angel Beard Guy.

  350. {{{Hugs}}}, Sean

    And to the rest of you miscreants, too.

  351. My day: Work. No H2 access. Respond to XBs vaguebook. Find out it’s Rosetta. Cries and laughs at the links. Goes back to work, cries and laughs some more. Home. Finds out my mom needs surgery Thursday. Finds out I’m going to shareholders. Up down. Mostly down. Searching for the up. There has got to be an up. For all of us. Always. Fuck. I’ll take calls. Prefer texts, but I can’t handle this shit.

  352. I lied. Don’t call me. I love each and every one of you.

  353. Anybody needs me, I’ma leave this here for a little while:

    xxx xxx xxxx [Leon Redacted]

  354. The up is that you are loved.

  355. I can’t sleep.
    FUCK

  356. xxx xxx xxxx [Leon Redacted]

    *posts sean’s number on fb as mine*

  357. My own life imploded in 2009 and I stopped hanging out here and kind of never came back, but had a ton of laughs with him and PJ in particular. My email is imbmac@yahoo.com

    This sucks

    I’m yer huckleberry

  358. and how could I not remember you, bmac? We visited you at your house!

  359. I just got the news about an hour ago and talked to Sean, Art and Clinton on the phone.

    I’m stunned.

    My prayers for his family.

  360. PJ, call me xxx xxx xxxx [Leon Redacted]

  361. Comment by Colorado Alex on April 13, 2016 12:48 am

    *crosses Lakeside of “places to live” list*

    You just ain’t got no class, is all

  362. Wow, all these people coming back together. It’s kind of like The Big Chill. Only, you know, not fucking terrible.

  363. Wiser is going to give us a good old fashioned wake and we will be fine. The anger and the tears will pass.

  364. Off to bed.

    I’ll take the six hours and no dreams package, please.

  365. Sean, IKR? Soundtrack was ok.

  366. Wow, all these people coming back together. It’s kind of like The Big Chill. Only, you know, not fucking terrible.

    Well, I can record my counseling session tomorrow, just so you can have some terrible.

  367. Ok guys, get to work on the Rosetta soundtrack.

  368. Thanks Peej

  369. “It’s kind of like The Big Chill.”

    So who’s gonna knock Peej up?

  370. Who hasn’t?

  371. Wiser, call me buddy. Been too long.

  372. I haven’t been here for so long, but I miss all of you.

  373. I forgot how to log in it’s been so long

  374. I’ve lurked while laughing at your clowning, humor and sophomoric stupidity for years. I’ve never posted because I didn’t think I had the funny in me to fit in. Your grief for a friend is as touching as your silly hijinks have been laugh inducing. You are in my thoughts tonight and I grieve with you even though I only know you as commentors on a blog. Thanks to each and every one of you.

  375. In lieu of derp:

    Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
    Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
    Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
    Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

    Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
    Scribbling on the sky the message ‘He is Dead’.
    Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
    Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

    He was my North, my South, my East and West,
    My working week and my Sunday rest,
    My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
    I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

    The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
    For nothing now can ever come to any good.

    [He would have laughed at the phrase “juicy bone.”]

  376. GODDAMMIT! A man my age should not be crying before work.

    This is devastating. We never met, so he won’t recognize me sneaking up on his ass when the time comes to kick it.

    Prayers for his family. Not fair to them at all.

  377. I had hoped that was all just a terrible nightmare. Damn.

  378. “Grief is great. Only you and I in this land know that yet. Let us be good to one another.” C. S. Lewis, The Magician’s Nephew

    It’s been a very long time since I’ve been here and I was saddened by the news of Rosetta. I am thinking of all of you during this. Sending my love, hugs, and prayers.

    p.s.- Tell someone you know that you love them, you forgive them, and/or that you appreciate them.

  379. Oh God. I just reread the Fake Reg poat.

    I’m going to be giggling all damn day.

  380. It’s my fav post of all time.

    Congratulate!

    I still use that phrase today and no one has any goddamn idea what I’m talking about.

  381. t five fucking hours on a long distance phone call (on my landline, my dime) with Mesa Blue when his cat’s cat died. $275 in long distance charges.

    I hate the phone.

    God I love you xbrad.

    Wakey wakey.

    Pat was upset about this all day, which I only mention because he’s not even a hostage. I just tell him about all you guys a lot.

  382. Rosetta introduced me to this band. I always think of him when I hear them.

  383. Should I surf through and redact phone numbers? Still at home for a few minutes.

  384. I’m gonna go ahead and do it, those guys won’t be up for hours and they can hate me later.

  385. I think I got them all. Edit them back in if you want them, guys, I just didn’t want anything to bite you.

  386. I ran the what if’s all night…..I don’t think I have ever been so pissed and heartbroken at the same time.

  387. This is one of the Hosefuckers threads.

    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/ersters/

  388. 7 years ago. I can’t believe it.

    And, I don’t think Kubler-Ross is linear, you go back and forth.

  389. Kubler-Ross is just a conjecture. It’s seriously just the opinion of those two guys based on anecdote alone.

  390. Morning Hostages. I didn’t know Rosetta nearly as well as you folks, but you folks are my friends and your loss is my loss. Godspeed, Rosetta.

  391. All this time I thought Kubler-Ross was a chick

  392. Well it is, but the rest of that is true:

    The model was first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, and was inspired by her work with terminally ill patients. Motivated by the lack of curriculum in medical schools on the subject of death and dying, Kübler-Ross examined death and those faced with it at the University of Chicago medical school. Kübler-Ross’ project evolved into a series of seminars which, along with patient interviews and previous research, became the foundation for her book. Since the publication of “On Death and Dying”, the Kübler-Ross model has become accepted by the general public; however, its validity is not consistently supported by the majority of research.

    Kübler-Ross noted later in life that the stages are not a linear and predictable progression and that she regretted writing them in a way that was misunderstood. Rather, these are a collation of five common experiences for the bereaved that can occur in any order, if at all.

    Psychiatry is basically voodoo.

  393. I maintain that it’s two guys publishing under a chick pseudonym, though.

  394. Not many people realize that Rosetta had a very refined, high-brow taste in music.

    Here is but a sample of his highly selective choice:

    http://is.gd/UoCrxx

  395. I thought it was more like this Tushar….

  396. I just went through the CT MeatUp pics. That was SUCH an awesome weekend!

  397. I know he was a big fan of Spyro Gyra.

    I’ve been listening to it all morning.

    http://is.gd/ypjkcX

  398. Music like that used to cheer me up.

    Now it makes me cry.

  399. Damn.

    Just….. damn.

  400. God this sucks. I think I was the one who dragged rosetta back, found him commenting at hotair before it turned into a total fever swamp when he disappeared from the HQ.

    Farewell, fair man lesbian. I hear the pearly gates are actually Kerry Maries ample jugs squeezed together.

  401. Although I’ve only been mostly lurking here for a brief time, it’s pretty obvious you’re a pretty tight-knit group of crazy mofos.

    My condolences to all of you on Rosetta’s passing away. It sucks to lose a friend, even if your connection to him was mostly through a bunch of 0s and 1s.

  402. Sure is good to see everyone, except for the circumstances.

    Meatups are like this, except really happy. Please experience one. I do recommend picking one up, if you have the means.

  403. Good Morning Hotsausages,

    There is a New Post for Defiling

    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2016/04/13/rip-rosetta-the-hardest-working-man-on-the-tittyweb-jenkins/

  404. Dammit, never met the man, only started hangin’ here, and I’m mourning with all of y’all.

    Prayers for those left behind.

  405. WELCOME AoS HQ MORONS, LURKERS, DELURKERS, VARIOUS INTERNET VISITORS, AND THOSE LOOKING FOR TRANNY PRON (which if you are, you can look at our Monday MMM post):

    Please feel free to add a comment here or join us on the new thread, http://wp.me/pb9T5-d2H, as we share our memories and mourn the loss of that larger-than-life funny man, “Rosetta”.

  406. I’m sad, pissed and laughing at the same time…what great memories. Rosetta was my fake intertube husband. He and I shared the same taste in music, so we made it fake WordPress official. He made me laugh so hard sometimes that whoever was in the room with me would ask, “What’s so funny?” I would just say, “You wouldn’t understand”. So I guess Rosie wanted to party with PattyAnn and Cranky. I miss all the funnies shared with you guys. I hope I can come back more often, because I really hate you guys.


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS