Here

Poatsy of Newness.

Also, go read: http://nothingintherulebook.com/2016/03/19/bad-sex-in-fiction-awards-the-connoisseurs-compendium/

 

348 Comments

  1. Hi.

  2. Gnomon. Heh.

  3. I haven’t read a single one of those books. I recognized one of the titles “I am Charlotte Simmons”.

  4. Yale vs Duke is getting interesting.

  5. A friend of mine wrote a book with really awful sex scenes, but then, the whole thing was terrible.

  6. A friend of Laura’s wrote a horrible book.

    Awkward.

  7. My sex life is pretty terrible.

  8. You should write (another) book

  9. Yale beat the crap our of Duke in the 2nd half, but they are going to come up short.

  10. http://is.gd/uac2Ar

  11. you lost me at “reeking of you” –

  12. “…and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns”

    sexy

  13. Sleeping with the windows open is worth the hacking cough. All the live plants in the Club are killing me. Can’t breathe. My usual Spring bronchitis. Can’t blame my annual phlegm production on H2N1

  14. Jimbro, thanks for the business. Our stock needs all the help we can get.

  15. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I shopped there. My membership fee usually comes due sometime in the late fall and when the kid ran my card he let me know it was due. I filled a cart and made a mental note on a bunch of stuff for another trip. I don’t buy fresh food unless Paula is with me since I end up getting weird stuff that we don’t end up eating.

  16. Had the demo carts set up when you were there? They were demo-ing boneless ham, ham steaks, and hickory smoked bacon in Deli. It smelled so yummy.

  17. I went right after doing rounds around 0900. No demo carts yet. I did buy some dry pepperoni sticks in a 4 pack. I know I’ll eat those eventually. Like a caveman.

  18. Evening.

  19. Hi Jew! What’s the weather like up there? We didn’t get 2 trucks from yesterday, until today. High winds? Snow? I gots to know!

  20. I’ve been surviving on Slim Jims.

  21. High wind and snow. Today was rather better, and tomorrow is supposed to be quite nice.

  22. Why is the little rock vs IA State crowd so quiet?

  23. I was always a Costco gal, but we joined a Sams because it is so much closer. Really like it. Thought it would be Walmart like, but it’s very on par with Costco.

  24. Greetings, people who remember all the same stuff as Pepperidge Farm.

  25. Big Box Stores are Corporate Evul. Down with the Oppressors!

    I’m working on my protest infiltration tech.

  26. Membership retail is so much better than regular retail. Costco is socially acceptable. Anything affiliated with WalMart is not. Sam’s and WalMart are really getting aggressive about going after the online shopper. With that being said, I was really hoping Daisy Dukes were done and a longer short would be the style this Spring/Summer. Alas…it was not to be…

  27. Thanks, Jew. We were catching all kinds of crap due to out of stocks. Woman special ordered flowers for today. Supposed to be on yesterday’s Produce/Meat truck. We didn’t get our truck until 11. I think a manager will have to deliver their flowers. Today’s Produce/Meat truck isn’t expected until sometime tonight. No one there to receive it.

  28. Tweedledrink offered me a winter coat for $10 last night, and I liked it, so I offered him $15. I’m a hardline negotiator like that. Anyhow, I looked it up today, and it’s an expensive down-filled suede bomber jacket.

  29. On the other hand, Oso, the Limited shorts they have there are really cute. My girls would wear them. I bought a few workout things there and love them.

  30. Sheeesh, Jew, for a second I thought “winter coat” was a gay thing. A nice down coat for $15 is a winner!!

  31. Nice 3 pointer!!!!

  32. Not a euphamism.

  33. The “winter coat” isn’t an exclusively gay thing, but it is a truly vile and reprehensible sex act. I’m pretty sure you can still get locked up in Idaho if you get caught doing it on a Sunday.

  34. The drunks drive me up the wall. They can rummage through a drawer, pull out the nicest thing, and sell it for a pittance. It has no value since they didn’t pay for it to start with, but where do they get this stuff? We don’t have Saks or Nordstrom’s around here, so they aren’t shoplifting from high-end department stores.

  35. Mare, our clothes are basic and sell really well. Especially the exercise wear. The Daisy Dukes start at a sz4 and top out at a 16. I personally think DDs should top out at a 6. Not fat-shaming. Speaking truth.

  36. I am not looking up ‘winter coat’ on Urban Dictionary. But there’s an even chance I’ve tried it.

  37. South Carolina has banned the “winter coat”. Surprising, isn’t Lindsey Graham from there?

  38. Oh, and don’t even ask about the “3 pointer.” That’s just fucking sick.

    I don’t even want to know how someone figured out you could use a pepper grinder like that.

  39. In Idaho.

  40. Oso, I think the DD you are referring to are not the limited shorts I thought were cute FOR YOUNGISH WOMEN.

    But that’s true of any short.

  41. HAR! The following was retweeted by someone who describes herself as a “Human Rights Reporter/Author” and has the phrase “Need Not Greed” in her bio…

    //platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  42. How have I lived as long as I have and not known there was such a thing as a “Nick and Nora Glass”?

    http://www.thebostonshaker.com/shop/nick-and-nora-glass-5-1-2-oz/dp/1486

    tt was referred to in a cocktail recipe that I’ll never make in the WSJ.

  43. We had a Springy day. I saw things…THINGS!!! As Dan says, for every 1 woman you want to see bending over a bunker in Daisy Dukes, you get 20 that you never ever want to see in shorts. Ever.

  44. Jimbro, Target carries Nick & Nora loungewear. I always liked Asta.

  45. I have to slow down with the Daredevil binge. Finishing up Jessica Jones. I have to pay attention.

  46. Oso! BINGE! BINGE! BINGE!

  47. Huh, Nick and Nora were fictional black and white TV-era detectives. And they liked to drink so much they ended up with a glass named after them.

  48. That was also true of the noir-era detective partners Martini & Highball, Jimbo. I think William Faulkner wrote one of their screenplays.

  49. I got my dad the Nick and Nora collection last year for father’s day. He seemed to like it.

  50. I ❤️ Myrna Loy and Wm Powell. Nick & Nora were so witty. And drunk.

  51. They were an early version of Dan and Oso.

  52. CoAl, Episode 3 was EPIC!!! I love Frank Castle. I don’t want to ruin the Luke Cage crossover. Jessica Jones is dark. Makes me think. I H8 to think.

  53. Hahaha. Thank you CoAl. We aren’t urbane or witty. We don’t solve crimes.

  54. I dialogue in my head like a poorly written pulp novel. In Bogart’s voice. As Sam Spade.

  55. “I’ve figured out who the book thief was, Dan. It was the land whale on the Amigo.”

    “Oso, you can’t drink on the job. So put away the martini and get back to work.”

  56. Testing

  57. I’m testing again so shut up.

  58. I H8 Amigo riders. LOL Nicely done, CoAl.

  59. I just got a mini mac. I’m using my TV in the bedroom as a monitor and it’s pretty awesome. And cheaper than buying a lap top or new mac.
    Booya!

  60. Actually, while reviewing video, most of our thieves are pushing strollers and concealing in diaper bags. All after the fact. Theft is factored into shrink. Very few stops made. Mostly, we provide video to prosecutions after the fact. Yesterday, Dan and I saw a truck take a back bumper off another truck. Hit and run. Gave info to lot security. They pulled video. No cops.

  61. Did Mare test positive again?

    Shit. I’m gonna need another round of antibiotics, aren’t I?

  62. Plus all the stupid stuff we say is on the big screen and it’s even funnier when it’s bigger. Kind of inverse of the Hostage guys’ weiners.

  63. We love our Mac Mini!!!!

  64. Xbradtc when was the last time I punched you in the private area?

  65. Monday is Inverse Weiner Day, mare.

  66. Yeah!! Oso (the stupid autocorrect wanted to make it Ono, ahhh, no!) understands!

  67. Mmmm…Ono burger.

  68. I bet we could write a pretty good noir story/script. By we, I mean Sean, Chumpo, and CoAl. Wiser and Rosetta. I’d put money on Lauraw.

  69. How come xbrad is always the one being hit on by the h2 hawties?

  70. How’s the pain PG?

  71. PG, when you catch one of Mare’s hooves in your groinal region, you’ll learn it’s not all fun and games.

  72. If I need lyrics, Roamy is the one. She’s awesome.

  73. “I bet we could write a pretty good noir story/script.”

    monkeys, typewriters, and time – it’s a thing or so i hear tell

  74. Your Mom Always Rings Twice

  75. The Maltese Fuckstick

  76. A Million Moms Arch – Extending Your Pleasure

  77. Angels With Dirty Tits

  78. The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down

  79. Have you ever been stung by a dead bee?

  80. Key Fargo.

  81. Just put your lips together and blow

  82. Key Luke.

  83. 💩 Just saw XBs Key Fargo

  84. I Am A Fugitive From Daddy’s Fingers

  85. Thread Winner!!!

  86. Double-Double Animal Style Indemnity

  87. Mare at a Meat-Up: DOA

  88. Night of the Inflatable Sheep

  89. The Big Hostage.

  90. So I Married A Canadian

  91. The Postman Drops Mail

  92. The Postman Always Fucks Up Someone’s Secret Santa Gift

  93. Fack!!! I just had one and I was laughing too hard at Sean. It’s Hostagetown, Jake.

  94. The Postman Always Fucks Up Someone’s Secret Santa Gift

    **golf clap**

  95. The Slightly-Used Rubber Falcon

  96. OMG Dan is watching Magic Mike. Is he ghey?

  97. Whew. He watched long enough to MST3K me. Is it wrong that we spoof on movies?

  98. *activates the J’Ames signal*

    http://www.pepperjoe.com/

  99. I had some really hot red chile last night. From the TMI division, I was feeling the Bern today.

  100. It Happened One Fight.

  101. Sheesh. How many Tarzan movies do we need? Team Disney Jungle Book

  102. After spending a night with your mom, I feel the Bern every day.

  103. We just discovered a trailer app on our Apple TV. Dan H8s Trailers. I love them. I really love dubbing them. In a world where no one could breathe, there was a group…a group that wouldn’t quit. A group so strong they went by one name…HOSTAGES…Hostages Part Deux

  104. North by Naugatuck

  105. The Man Who Fapped Too Much

  106. Dial M for Mare

  107. ^^^

  108. Gaslight. Heartlight

  109. Touch of Stupid

  110. The Big Sheep

  111. The Ass Jungle

  112. The Ass Pennies of The Sierra Madre

  113. Wienertown

  114. The Cat Wore Socks

  115. The Big Bewbowski

  116. Some Like it Hawtsausage

  117. The Cat Whore Socks

  118. My Fair Lady Rosetta

  119. 2009: A Hostage Odyssey

  120. All Quiet on the Best Western Hotel Parking Lot

  121. The Fat Bastard Hunter

  122. Oso,’in response to your previous query. Pain is a two. That’s how they taught me to describe it in hospital. There’s enough pain that I’m aware of it but it doesn’t intrude on my activity.

    Unless that activity is your mom.

  123. Sounds like you’re just about up for some two-stepping, PG. That’s great!

  124. What’s
    The rules this new game.

    I so want to dissapoint everybody

  125. Got off walked and on to cane yesterday. Not ready for dancing.

  126. We seem to be injecting something Hostagesque into movies.

  127. Dancing soon, then. At least one quick twirl.

  128. Chumpootsie

  129. Oh honey, I’m sorry. My pain is always 8. I love the morphine. Oso at podiatrist: 8. Oso at dentist: 8

  130. Dances With Walker

    Ha!

  131. Comment by Cyn on March 19, 2016 10:38 pm
    My Fair Lady Rosetta

    ——-

    Winner.

  132. TITS2: Outbreak

  133. Dances with walker

    ——

    Well, crap, that good too.

  134. It was a dark and stormy night

  135. Sultry…

  136. I was on morphine or 18 hours after surgery then switched to Tylenol w codeine. They’re neccessarry but I don’t care for the fact that it shuts my bowels down. I’m still struggling with keeping some extra space open in the old discharge chute.

  137. hahahahahaha

    The Man Who Fapped Too Much….Roamy that’s A Hostage Golden Weiner winner.

  138. Hostages on a train… Quid pro quo Clarice…even Steven

  139. I don’t get it.

  140. Somewhere over the Pendejo

  141. >>It was a dark and stormy night

    Heh – That was the end of TITS1, followed by Noah’s Cyn’s Ark

  142. One Flew Over Oso’s Nest.

  143. BlackisWhite

    The Man Who Spoke too Much.

    Blatant rip off.

  144. The Bad News Mares.

  145. Mr. Dave goes to Connecticut

  146. V for Vmax

  147. Dr, No…That hurts too much.

    The tender story of a boy and his inflatable sheep.

  148. Kill Wiser (but not wiserbud): Vol 1.

  149. The Butch Girl: Leon’s revenge.

  150. PG,
    Again, pay attention to rehab exercises like you have OCD.
    After Anita having both hips replaced, I can tell you that this is a lifelong investment…

  151. 12 Years a Slave: Part 2 of A Boy and His Inflatable Sheep

  152. The Humpy of Notre Dame

  153. Speaking of BiW, has anyone talked to him lately?
    Anita tells me that there was some strange stuff on FaceChimp, but have not talked to him for a while…

  154. Pupster Day Afternoon

  155. Inside Out

    A Disney/Pixar collaboration about TiFW

    Too Soon?

  156. Bam!

  157. A Fistful of Sausages

  158. Whore Wars, The Poon Awakens

    A tender story of Rosetta Kicking a Girl He liked in Grade School

  159. EX-Men: Muscular Mondays of Peen Past

  160. Titlight

    The quintessential story of H2.

  161. Screed

    The tender love story of Mare Hating everyone in Politics.

    A Classic!

  162. We took Mrs. Pupster out to a late lunch/early dinner for her birthday, I came home and took a nap from about 6 to 9 PM. This is what I feel like now: http://is.gd/4URJku

  163. Cool Hand Roamy

  164. Looks totally accurate to my late late naps, Pups.

  165. Throw Hotspawn off the Train.

  166. The H2’s opinion of the GOP: Unforgiven

  167. When WickedPinto was here, it was… The Year of Living Dangerously.

  168. Star Whores.

  169. Beyond The Valley of Dolly the Sheep

  170. Chad Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

  171. LeonCaruthers: The Professional

  172. http://is.gd/9FUfCs

  173. Sean M. of the Dead

  174. Indiana MJ in the Temple of Dooooom!

  175. The Indian in the Crosswalk

  176. These are all really hilarious you guys.

  177. Cyn and the Chocolate Factory.

  178. So,
    Nobody heard from BiW?
    Worried about him.

  179. A mare on Elm Street

  180. He’s been posting cryptic updates on Facechimp, Crispy. The last one was a couple hours ago. It just says “So much right in the feels.” I’m guessing he’s either going through some personal problems or the hormone replacement for his gender reassignment surgery is kicking in. Whichever it is, I wish him well.

  181. I’m sick of being sick.

  182. Dr Cyn, Medicine Woman

  183. War of the Rosettas

  184. The Third Pup

  185. Laura

  186. Bradley Driver

  187. Oso in a Blue Dress

  188. Leonito’s Way

  189. ScottW the Piano Player

  190. Davey in the water.

  191. SanchoM

  192. CoAlExcalibur

  193. Curve it Like Car In

  194. My Big Fat Greek Radio Show

  195. Space Jam2

  196. Play Chrispy For Me

  197. NightMare Alley

  198. Waitresses.

  199. PendeRio Grande

  200. L’assistente sociale tutta PepeLP

  201. E Tu Roamy También

  202. Jimbroella

  203. You’ve been a great crowd!! Drive safe or wreck your car into a pillow factory.

    Adios!!!

  204. Tushar’s big adventure.

  205. The Wizard of Oso.

  206. Demerol eased Robbie’s pain.

  207. Ha! Good one Chumpo.

  208. Birds are pissed off about the frozen birdbath this morning.

  209. I have a little time before work, might as well go take care of that for them. What the Hell. I’ll even put out a suet cake. Because it’s freezing. Supposed to snow tonight. Hopefully this will be the last day of Winter. OH WAIT…

  210. We’re getting that overnight and into tomorrow. All week they’ve been going back and forth on the forecast. As of this morning it’s downgraded to 3-6 inches of wet snow. Despite the mild nature of this winter I’m more than ready for better weather.

  211. Urgh. 20 degrees here this morning. What do you put in Scott’s suet cake, besides suet, of course?

  212. 36 here this morning. That’s the coldest we’ve been in over a month. High today is 64. Ditto.

    High for Tuesday is 91. Now we’re talking.

  213. http://is.gd/QkkMOH

  214. PG, did your new hip go in anterior or posterior? Cemented or press fit stem/cup?

  215. Posterior. Pretty sure it was cemented.

  216. Power went out last night, right at the end of Earth Hour.

    I had bought glow sticks (party favor kind) to use as a nightlight when the power is out. I didn’t know they have a shelf life. These are maybe 2 years old, and not a single one in the pack worked.

  217. The joint surgeons go back and forth on which approach to use every so often. I don’t do totals now but in my training years I’d be in on a few hips and knees per week and every once in a while a shoulder. We have monthly conferences covering case reviews and I go to a general ortho conference twice a year where they talk about that stuff. So much of what I learned in training has gone back and forth over the years so it’s better to just focus on my practice and keep an ear out for the changes in other’s.

  218. Spring starts on 3/20 now?

    GET OFF MY LAWN!

  219. I had a friend who had his done anterior and highly recommended it because he felt like it was quicker recovery. I ran it by my doc and he said he only does it that way with very thin people. Even if I weren’t over weight I still wouldn’t be thin.

  220. Wakey wakey

  221. Looks like it’s laundry day.

    http://is.gd/G7xn1Z

  222. IIRC the advantages of the anterior approach are gone within a period of months (6, 8, 12?) post-op when all patients function equally well. The argument for the posterior approach is familiarity of the operating surgeon and visualization of the landmarks for proper orientation of the components. Eh, it’s done so focus on the rehab phase and avoid flexion/adduction/internal rotation when you take a shit and you’ll be smiling.

  223. I have to pack an armoire, outside. This shall suck.

  224. Has the snow started yet?

  225. One of the continuing burdens, Jimbro, is having to make ca ca on an elevated bedside potty. My wife is tiring of hauling those baggies out to the dumpster. I need to install some handicap railings in my bathroom I guess.

  226. Snow starts this evening.

  227. Those handicap railings are awesome for after leg/butt day.

    Just saying.

  228. Wise investment.

  229. Roamy has had a run of bad luck. You’re do for some great things!

  230. Tanks, Humptress.

  231. Don’t use clear baggies for your bedside pooper.

    Trust me, I know this shit.

  232. Did any of you facedick people find out what’s going on with BiW?

  233. Any basketball games on today or just Pro?

  234. Thanks, Mare. In theory, the contractors will be finished this week.

    And while not bad luck, I decided that we’d had enough of the bitchy softball coach. The doctor did not sign the 2nd page of the medical release form (or whatever the form is called so you can’t sue the school for sports injuries), so that was going to cost us another $50 clinic visit. We cut short our spring break plans so that Mr. RFH could drive Mini-me to a two-day tournament an hour’s drive away, just so she could cheer her teammates on. Three games, three mercy rule losses, not one at-bat or half-inning in the field. Fuck this shit, I’m done. We went through this with Rocketboy, and it probably built character, but I’m not throwing more money down the toilet and holding dinners until 8:30 PM for her to stand (not allowed to sit) on the sidelines. It pisses me off that the coach will keep the same players in the game when it’s 15-0 after the first inning. You’ve already lost the game, it can’t hurt to try some of the other players! The only game Mini-me has played was two innings when the seniors were on retreat, and I don’t see it getting any better. If anything, my logic has been confirmed by the coach’s reaction. “Turn in your gearbag and uniform on Monday.” EABOD, bitch.

  235. Then I found $20.

  236. True love means bagging up your shit and taking it to the curb.

  237. Something I did not mention as Carin’s situation was playing out and that Roamy reminded me of is this, my husband and I made the decision NEVER to be held hostage (heh) by some dumbass coach.

    Meaning, our life or our child’s life (time, weekend, holidays) will not be dictated by some dumb, ego driven, has been who my kid is at least 10X smarter than.

    If things are working out, fine and that’s NOT about playing time, it’s HOW MY KID IS TREATED whether a star on the team or second string.

    Good for you, Roamy. And like most softball coaches she probably does not enjoy eating a bag a dicks, not even one actually.

    Hey, I lost 20 bucks!

  238. Comment by Pupster on March 20, 2016 11:24 am

    BWAHHAHAHAHA

  239. M3P0 called him. Without going into details, he said Prayers would be appreciated.

  240. Okay, Oso. Thank you.

  241. I tried to make it clear to Mini-me that we weren’t quitting solely because she wasn’t playing, it was dealing with a coach who says she “expects all the girls to make all the practices and all the games”, Science Olympiad is no excuse for missing a practice, you’d better cheer louder (scream yourself hoarse) or you’re running laps next practice, and extends every practice by half an hour so she can yell at them about how awful they are. They stop running, batting, throwing, etc. at 7:30 PM and stand around for a minimum of 20 minutes while she lectures them. Talking to the coach changed nothing. Emailing the athletic director got us a lecture on “Playing Time Is Not Mandatory and Is Left To The Discretion of The Head Coach.”

    I should have called a halt sooner, but I kept hoping it would get better.

    I only found $1 this time, but it has wheresgeorge on it. Huh, Illinois.

  242. Fair playing time is bullshit once you get to high school, but when the coach refuses to throw the kids a bone when the game isn’t close just shows that they are asses. kids who WORK hard, etc, deserve a little acknowledgment by having some field time, and I think it shows that character of the coach when they don’t do that.

    So many high school coaches know so little about fitness/training and often suck at even they game. They were probably varsity players in high school and peaked in high school. Stunted their emotional growth.

  243. I’m sooooooo glad we’re done with sports. My son was a really good athlete on really bad teams. The worst thing was the travel. Since we were a small school, we’d play other small schools. 5 hour drive to watch the game, 1.5 hour game, 5 hour drive back. It really, really sucked. Kids would get home at 2:30 in the morning sometimes.

  244. Our oldest only plays school ball for organized sports, no travel teams. This puts him at a disadvantage as far as coaches knowing him. He made JV as a sophomore and we’re keeping our fingers crossed for next year making at least JV again. He’s got skills but his poor focus puts him at a disadvantage. He really enjoys playing street ball in the local parks and on a couple of rec leagues with his friends.

  245. Not many schools in NM and they are widely spread. Eunice, just a little ways north of us won state in baseball a couple of years ago, maybe last year, and only had like two rounds of playoffs I think.

    We have the same problem in west Texas. Our local kids Are in a district with and have to go to Tornillo which is on the rio grande about 50 mi this side of El Paso and presidio which is also on the river just west of big bend national park. Each of those is four hours each way even with 75 mph highways. Luckily their parents don’t give a shit that they’re missing instruction.

  246. Pellet stove was out of pellets, at least that is what I thought, so I dumped a 40 lbs bag in there and tried to fire it up.

    Nope..

    It wasn’t out of fuel, it was clogged.

    I had to empty out over 40 lbs of pellets using an 8 oz glass as a shovel.

  247. That sounds like a math problem for the SAT’s.

    We’ll need Leon for the solution.

  248. http://is.gd/nouKDM

    Death to Poser Metal!

  249. http://is.gd/dyPYWf

  250. Ha, I thought you ment this Mettalica drummer.

    This one goes way back

    http://tinyurl.com/zzs4b2s

  251. Skip ahead to the 40 second mark

    Camera work can’t be human http://is.gd/nX7sb2

  252. SF Austin is doing it again.

    I would love for them to take out Notre Dame.

  253. It’s a drone camera. They are HD and very commonly used.

  254. http://is.gd/oQkzHU

  255. http://is.gd/BPz6UH

  256. >>>>http://is.gd/oQkzHU

    I think I just found Mare’s SS present.

    She’s …. umm…. a bit on the chunky side, right?

  257. I’m a little tea pot….hahahahahahahahaaha

  258. HA! My comment was good for two previous comments.

    Although I’m size 8 so you decide.

  259. I used to play the drums too!

  260. You were born to be a pitch-man Wiser.

    OWN IT

  261. The owner of that company actually reached out to us, telling us how much he loved this.

    He asked for the address of the store, saying he wanted to send us Gorilla Snot gear as a thank you.

    We never got nothing.

  262. Although I’m size 8 so you decide.

    Right.

    and the last couple of dozen BBF gals have weighed in at about an average of 128lbs.

    *cough

    Meanwhile, gonna see the Temps and the Four Tops tonight.

    I plan to be the whitest person in the theatre.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JY4Iz0w42qU

  263. That was hilarious, Wiser. I want some and I don’t even play drums.

  264. So, Jimbro, you get my Cheeze Whiz, boy?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICHEkYRZg3w

  265. That was hilarious, Wiser. I want some and I don’t even play drums.

    I really used to enjoy doing those, before I realized I was going to spend the rest of my life working there.

    I sent an e-mail to someone who was one of the guys who started ESPN this week, asking him if he could help me get an agent. I may have to get that video off the interwebs soon.

  266. I had a close call yesterday. I managed, for the third time, to hack of a portion of a finger without bleeding.

    It was pretty cool, time slowed while I assessed the damage.

    I thought it was going to be much worse.

  267. Huh, McCain is up for reelection. Come on, Arizona!!!

  268. I had a close call yesterday. I managed, for the third time, to hack of a portion of a finger without bleeding.

    I’m starting to think that Lauraw becoming a nurse was a really great fucking idea.

  269. BTW, I don’t pimp my show very much, but honestly, my interview with Kurt Schlichter last Monday was fucking hilarious.

  270. She is far more accident prone.

    She leads work related ER visits 2-0.

  271. SF Austin is beating ND with 3:30 to go!

  272. Wiser, may I get the link again?

  273. She is far more accident prone.

    It’s the hummingbirds.

    And the Jägermeister.

    Mostly the Jägermeister.

  274. Finished Daredevil, Season 2. The final episode was a letdown, IMHO.

    It’s kind of a ripoff that they revealed in the end that it was all in the mind of a retarded child.

  275. https://stevenoxonradio.wordpress.com/

    Kurt was in the third hour of May 14

  276. Thanks!

  277. It’s kind of a ripoff that they revealed in the end that it was all in the mind of a retarded child.

    you bastard…….

  278. Thanks!is staur

    Thanks for caring enough to listen.

    This saturday’s show was awesome as well (as long as you can ignore Tom Hill the Turd.)

    Last 25 minutes of first hour and interview with Gabe were awesome.

    Show’s not posted yet, but it will be soon.

  279. ND wins with some help from the refs. BOOOOOOOOO!

  280. ‎hat-tip xbrad:

  281. later, gators

  282. Wiser, I have a line in to a friend re talent agents as well. Stay tuned. Youre not so far away from a good deal.
    The wind is at your back INMHO.

    keep paddeling.

  283. Vodka in TITS1 flask. Ready to go.

    Texted black drummer friend who has been a guest on my show. Asked him if I would see him at Temps show tonight.

    No. He’s going to see James Taylor and Hall & Oates tonight.

  284. Chumps, thanks mah brutha!

  285. Comment by scott on March 20, 2016 4:49 pm

    ND wins with some help from the refs. BOOOOOOOOO!

    ============

    ND always gets help from the refs, ALWAYS!!!

  286. Wiser is time-traveling again.

  287. *flings a can of spray cheese to Wiser*

    “Stay thirsty my friend!”

  288. Evening

  289. http://is.gd/_I_introduced_Mrs_Pupster_to_ french vanilla cappuccino with vanilla vodka today.

  290. Dan doesn’t believe in ghosts. Even though he’s seen the video and pics of Milo at work. I think Gingy is still hanging around the condo. I hear ears getting flapped, footsteps down the hall, and the sound of water being lapped in the kitchen. I’m susceptible to the power of suggestion. I get up to get water, kitchen is empty.

  291. This AM, Dan got up to take a shower to get the mucus moving. MaryAnn stretched out next to my calves. I feel the mattress move, ears get flapped, the sound of dog paws going down the dog ramp, and I hear what sounds like Gingy walking past the bed and headed to the kitchen. MA never even woke up. I KNOW what I heard. I woke up when Dan got out of bed.

  292. Greetings, slices of home.

  293. http://is.gd/rpWhol

  294. Can’t stop watching Scott’s video

  295. Paula took the boys to Boston last week to use Celtics tickets that were a Christmas gift from us. I was working both days so the dogs went to the kennel for a night. Every time I moved around the house I looked for the dogs who like to get underfoot. No ghost dogs sighted though.

  296. I watched that at least a dozen times.

  297. Jimbro, I hear her. Dan says if her ghost was still around, she’d be farting on my pillow. The guy that doesn’t believe in ghosts, imagines a ghost that farts.

  298. http://is.gd/RbI26n

  299. Paula and the boys watch those ghost hunting shows now and then which always results in our younger boy camping out on our bedroom floor. Needless to say I always suggest we change the channel.

  300. Retail ghost stories are a thing. We even had a ghost hunter work part time at Target for Christmas. He knew all the spots his first week.

  301. Speaking of ghosts, my lazy ass just got around to figuring out what this Scooby-Doo-looking structure off the 10 on the outskirts of Phoenix is. It had been bugging b-rad and I, and Cyn couldn’t figure out what we were talking about.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_Trotting_Park

  302. How is that Scooby-Doo-looking?

  303. It looks like Old Man Potter would dress up like a ghost and scare off meddling kids while searching for a buried treasure or abandoned mine entrance or some ridiculous thing, scott.

  304. http://is.gd/kDdKpO

  305. http://is.gd/_zoikes

  306. http://is.gd/SPA4kB

  307. -Comment by Jimbro on March 20, 2016 7:38 pm-

    that’s got some funny goin’ on –

    my second thought was:
    i’ll bet that’s how jimes met wife number one

  308. http://is.gd/Krqj4O

  309. I get my razors (as does my daughter) from Dollar Shave Club and we love the company. Love them even more now.

  310. Episodes 3 and 4 of Daredevil Season 2: O M G. Punches CoAl in the feels for making ill-timed Daredevil joke. TOO SOON.

  311. Spock dies in episode 5.

  312. Nobody knows why it took 5 episodes to kill Spock.

  313. When Star Wars 7 comes out, Spock is going to die in the first 30 seconds.

  314. Oso will still hear Spock.

  315. People can be such dickweeds sometimes that it’s nigh impossible to believe they’re not doing it on purpose. Like when you go into a restroom and find paper towels on the floor all around a trash can that’s not anywhere close to being full.

  316. * whispers *

    spock is stealing the books

  317. Scott doesn’t actually acknowledge any difference between Star Trek and Star Wars. He never watched either of them.

  318. Aside from White Dog and football, what does scott watch?

  319. I don’t Trek. Just the reboots. Dan is probably right. A real ghost Gingy would be farting on my pillow.

  320. *presses button*

    I don’t know, Sean. But you will know soon. MWAAA HA HAAA.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    *presses button again*

  321. Aside from White Dog and football, what does scott watch?

    Women’s Basketball, apparently.

  322. Wow, UNI just completely screwed my bracket, lost 2 final fours.

    Oh Well, ISU is still in it.

  323. Why is the water cooler shaking like that? Weird.

  324. EARTHQUAKE!!!!

  325. Not so fast, Mr Jay.

  326. San Andreas was hilarious.

  327. Perfect MST3K fodder

  328. That sounds like a math problem for the SAT’s.

    I would have stopped after the first few cups and used a shopvac.

  329. Did anybody tell anybody else that leaving the room and coming back with a hat and a different tie on during tomorrow’s big presentation probably wouldn’t fool the investors into thinking their human cloning experiments had been successful today?

  330. MMM @531AM.

  331. Did anybody tell anybody else that leaving the room and coming back with a hat and a different tie on during tomorrow’s big presentation probably wouldn’t fool the investors into thinking their human cloning experiments had been successful today?

    *grumbles and slinks off*

  332. CYN!!!

    Take a look at my 7:54 comment for the answer to what b-rad was asking you about in Tempe about the racetrack you can see from the 10.

  333. SEAN!!!

    I seriously have no recollection of his asking me about that; when did that question even come up? I must have already been delirious from fever.

  334. I remember seeing Hotspur and Hotbride near the elevator, and I remember nodding at something Roamy was telling me, but I don’t recall the conversation. I don’t even remember driving home Sunday.

  335. All in all, it was still nice to see everyone :D

  336. I remember them asking about it. Dan and I were looking for the Cali anomoly when we were hitting fields on Saturday.

  337. I found some pix on my phone from Friday night – I will throw them up tomorrow in the meat locker folder.

    Anyone else take any pix??

  338. Time for my albuterol hookah session. The colors, man… trippin’!!

    TTFN.

  339. I took some pics in my hotel room. Artistic pics. Very tasteful.

  340. I wasnt sure I was even at TITS2 until my hat showed up in the mail
    With an AZ return addy.

    Pictures would be nice.

  341. Do you remember asking me to move to Lincoln, NE with you?

  342. Well, thats is a great idea.
    The Last time I Was in Linc there was a gang of chix chasing us throught the town.

    We should move there right away.

    The one drawback to Lincoln was that I couldnt get a descent Bloddy Mary.
    Whatever, I’ll bring my own.

  343. A warm up for MMM!

  344. Heh. I’d almost forgot the order to move to Lincoln, NE.

  345. I know you well
    And I can tell
    Something’s on your mind
    ’cause in your dreams
    The demon screams
    And I know he’s going to derp you blind


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