MMM 213: Up too late to do words

Monday.  LEAP DAY!  I still work at that place, might get to leave someday and do something else.

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Monday.  Motivated.  Meetings.

191 Comments

  1. gaydar says:
    the pole vaulter is a lesbian –
    there’s a joke in there somewhere

  2. Well, it is a Leap Year…

  3. And that matters…how?

    All of you people with real jobs…

    I pity you.

  4. I am going to take my daughter to school, then go to the diner for some biscuits and gravy, then come back home and take a nap.

    Suck it peasants!

  5. *gravy*

  6. Chris Rock was good.

    http://www.theverge.com/2016/2/28/11121466/chris-rock-academy-awards-2016-monologue

    I can’t shake the feeling that Hollywood wants to subject the rest of America to standards they themselves are unwilling to adhere to.

  7. Pic 1 is outdtanding.
    Pic 2 is artsy.
    That is all. Carry on.

  8. *Outstanding*.
    I claim Leap Day mulligan.

  9. I hated not going to TITS2, but now I am sort of glad I didn’t. My blood pressure spiked horribly couple of days back, and I am undergoing a battery of tests to see if I can keep ticking or need to be put down.

    I didn’t want that happening while traveling.

    So far the doctors don’t think we need to take the ‘put him down ‘ option too seriously.

  10. That first photo. Is that natural? Or is there some inflation at play here?

  11. Hugs. Hugs were the downfall of TITS2.

    I haven’t been this sick in a long time.

  12. Pic 5 is just a regular young woman with breast implants who was photographed near an exercise machine.

    (not complaining)

  13. I think you guys need to adhere to a violently healthy diet in the weeks leading up to the next meetup. Really up those immune systems.

    wakey wakey.

  14. I had an unbelievable weekend. So freakin busy at work. Ugh. I need a few days to recover but I work at 5.

  15. We had a transformer blow last night a few miles away from me – it was SOMETHING. The entire sky lit up blue/green. It keep blowing – about four times, before it went out. Woke up the whole house with the light. We thought aliens had landed or something. The power outage was VERY widespread. We were only out for about 4 hours.

  16. Car In, those transformers blowing out is a serious problem. Terrorists have already figured out that blowing them us is easy and replacing is time consuming, if not impossible. I hope this one was natural causes, but considering the growing population of enthusiastic yutes of indeterminate ethnic extraction in Dearborn, I won’t rule it out.

  17. They wouldn’t make it up to Lapeer. Too many rednecks with guns up here.

  18. I get immense pleasure (I should probably go to confession) knowing that the soft targets which offer the easiest opportunities for those who wish to undo our culture (both race baiters and terrorists) are among those populations which seek to enable both of these groups.

  19. Tushar, glad to hear you don’t need to be put down, yet.

  20. Tushar, was thinking about you yesterday when I was out shooting. That day on the gun range in Texas was awesome.

    Tushar: aka the ‘Indian Assassin’.

  21. I wonder if the terrorists can even contemplate just how many guns are out there.

  22. If the terrorists are stupid (and they are to an extent) they believe “Americans” are represented by the President and Hollywood. What do you think they get from that?

    I mean, they “hate” us for those two reasons. We need to be destroyed because we’re like the Kardashians and we’re weak like obama.

    This wouldn’t end well for them.

  23. I have no car today. I has a sad.

    Sigh. I need stuff from the store and a haircut.

  24. Car in, you are absolutely right. Hollywood has completely distorted America’s image in front of the world.

    There was a time when American movies depicted America/Americans as rugged, invincible place/people.
    It was a truer, if a bit embellished picture of America.
    Last 25-30 years have changed that. The last man from that era, Clint Eastwood, will shuffle off at some point, and we will be left with Clooney and his ilk, who take great pleasure in tarring America.

  25. Car In,

    The eldest phatspawn had a job interview on Saturday for a Counselor position at a Christian camp down in southern Illinois.

    One of the questions on her application was: ‘How many firearms are in your home?’. The listed response selections were:
    1
    2
    3
    4
    5

    My daughter wrote in her own answer: ‘more than 20’.

    So proud of that kid.

  26. Heh. Only better answer would have been 0 – lost in a tragic canoe accident.

  27. Phat, you should see my wife’s cousin’s husband. Barely 5’1″, weights maybe 100 lb. Brilliant architect. Held a 9MM in his hand for the first time at the age of sixty. Just listened to my instructions, and put 25 out of 30 or so rounds in the center. Grouped so nicely that it looked like 4 or 5 rounds.

  28. Thanks, Sean! I enjoyed that.

  29. I proper answer would also be “none of your fucking business”.

  30. Tush,

    Have you seen ‘The Unforgiven’ with Eastwood and Morgan Freeman?

    One of the best movies I’ve ever seen and a good take on violence and the toll it takes on a man. As a vet, it really spoke to me.

    I don’t remember it exactly, but one haunting line from the movie:

    ‘it’s a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he’s got and every thing he would ever have.’

  31. Phat, I will watch it soon.

    I just saw Interstellar for the first time.

    My conclusion: if we ever have to leave this planet, we won’t make it.

  32. Comment by Car in on February 29, 2016 9:02 am

    ….. proper answer would also be “none of your fucking business”.
    ==========

    Amen.

    Also, #1 is epic.

  33. Hell, it took an entire crew to get one asshole off Mars!

  34. I’m shopping at the garden store. I really want this seed mix- they call it the “beneficial bug mix” to attract good bugs to your garden.

    Contains: Annual Candytuft, Siberian Wallflower, Cilantro, California Poppy, Baby Blue-Eyes, Lance-leaved Coreopsis, Cosmos-dwarf, Annual Gaillardia, Gayfeather, Shasta Daisy, Bishop’s Flower (or False Queen Anne’s Lace), Dill, Globe Gilia, Purple Prairie Clover, Black-Eyed Susan, Rockcress, Basket-of-Gold, Sweet Alyssum, Bergamot. This mixture attracts benefical insects to the garden. Beneficial insects include lacewings, lady bugs, hover flies, tachinid flies and parasitic wasps, which help to destroy harmful garden pests such as aphids, thrips and mites.

  35. I’m going to plant it around the outside/back of my veggie garden.

  36. I like Chris Rock, Tushar. He airs their dirty laundry with a big smile on his face. I love how uncomfortable some of the crowd looked at certain points in that monologue. I can imagine what those puffed-up Hollywood liberals were thinking. Some of them were obviously seething.

  37. Parasitic Wasps sound fun, Carin.

  38. OK, it’s been fun. But I’m off for a nap.

    Talk to you kids after noonish.

    Tush, another great line from Unforgiven:

    “anyone who doesn’t want to get killed, just clear on out the back’

  39. I liked when he suggested they just have non-gender based categories. Women want equality right?

  40. Man On Fire… Walken and Denzel sitting at a table. Denzel says to Walken “Do you think God will ever forgive us for the things we’ve done?”….. Walkens reply, “No”

  41. I think the gender confirmation surgery thing is fun. We should do “large breasted confirmation surgery”. Tummy flattening confirmation surgery.

  42. TerribleTroy and Phat are quoting 2 of my favorite films.

  43. Deserves got nothing to do with it.

  44. I have never heard of the best picture winner, spotlight.

  45. Me neither.

  46. I see that its about abuse in the catholic church. So there is no abuse in Islam…hahahahaha

  47. Those courageous academy film makers will surely show what goes on in madrases. Part of the reason Obama is so faggy.

  48. Someone was complaining about pic 5. That is Erica Cordie (otherwise known as the woman soon to be chained in my basement while I shower her with unwanted love and affection and creepy gifts made from her own hair. Sorry, too specific?). That isn’t her best pic but still I will brook no criticism. None, I say.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2GzvKJ3Rq0

  49. I saw Mad Max and The Martian.

    I thought Mad Max was pretty good but the Martian was possibly the worst movie I’ve seen in a long time. Matt Damon is a national treasure, but he’s not a great actor.

    And all of the scenes where he was supposed to be starved? They just showed a skinny dude’s body and cut back to his bloated head.

    I mean, for 10M, I’ll go on a diet, FFS.

  50. ” Part of the reason Obama is so faggy.”

    maybe if Martland had been around to protect little barry s our commie in chief would have been different – or not

    http://tinyurl.com/jao3wdg

  51. Anti-Catholic does well in Hollywood. Priests sexually abusing…even better. Disney and Nickelodean having a history of abusing child actors…crickets.

  52. I liked the Martian a lot, but couldn’t even finish Mad Max. I think the Martian would have been better with Mark Wahlberg or Ryan Reynolds.

  53. Anything to bash the church is A-OK in Hollyweird.

  54. Mad max sucked.

  55. One criticism about Mad Max I heard was that the director/producers caught the feminism bug and tried to downplay Max, and give a more outsized role to the female (Charlize Theron I think, but unrecognizable under the dirt on her face). You can’t make a feminist Mad Max movie. It does not work.

  56. Mad Max abandoned CGI and employed just about every single stunt person in the movie industry. They voted as a bloc.

  57. The problem is that Mad Max was reduced to nothing, but the Theron character’s stories was … lacking. THe action lacked story and the story lacked detail .

  58. It insists upon itself.

  59. Jam, the Green Beret should have been given a medal. And a raise.

    The army higher ups is chock full of assholez.

  60. Yes, exactly Pupster. You expect something more or deeper or SOMETHING. it’s just a beaten up theme and never ending chasing.

  61. I liked the scene where they start outside the gates and the drums are banging to the music and its loud and crazy.

  62. THe action lacked story and the story lacked detail .
    —————————-
    That’s what I took away. It was a 2 hour chase scene, that was really cool but I didn’t get the rest of it or really care.

    I liked the way it looked and was shot, though. Fun to watch, but so are the Blackhawks.

  63. i wrote a blog post about why I thought Mad Max Sucked (imaginatively titled Why I thought Mad Max – Fury Road sucked) and I think it is the only post I have ever written that got more than 10 hits. If people are reading my crap blog in order to complain about the movie you know they thought it really sucked.

  64. And I can’t believe Han Solo was killed by Chewbacca. Who would have seen that coming?

  65. Hey MJ, SPOILER ALERT!

  66. And I can’t believe Han Solo was killed by Chewbacca. Who would have seen that coming?

    Well, with all that repressed rage after years of unrelenting psychological and sexual abuse what did you expect? We all knew it had to happen sooner or later. The part I found disturbing was the way BB8 and C3P0 desecrated his corpse. Robot necrophilia is just wrong.

  67. Woke up with a horrible cough and headache. Expensive way to be sick – in a $200 a night hotel.

  68. Ask for a refund. Better yet, DEMAND a refund. You could be a viral star on youtube.

  69. H2Flu has a nice ring to it.

  70. Get your feet set Hotspur, the headache gets worse and the joint pain and body aches are great for a long plane flight.

    H2H1N1

  71. Another round of meatup-fluenza? ugh.

  72. Sorry all you TITSters got sick.

    I’ve been doing some thinking and it occurs to me that the one common denominator for every single diseased meat-up is that HotSpur attended each and every one.

    Jus’ sayin’

  73. We should do another Lapeerpalooza. No one got sick.

  74. No … Hotspur was at Lapeer. Of course – it’s also the only meetup with Leon. So maybe he’s the missing link?

  75. I think it’s all a scheme to make us non-attendees feel better about not being there. Pretend they all got sick so we would somehow not feel as bad about not seeing them.

  76. You’re theory falls apart in the basic premise Jimbro. That they would try to make us non-attendees feel better.

  77. By the way, question for those of you who watched the Oscars:

    Why? Why would you waste time watching s bunch of people who hate you lecture you and tell you how you are horrible people while the congratulate themselves for all bravely thinking exactly the same way?

    I fave up caring about the Oscars about 10 years ago, once I realized that every single person in that room is a brainless hypocrite who believes themselves to be better and smarter than me.

    Fuck them.

    There’s a reason they are called “actors” and not “thinkers.”

  78. >>>>it’s also the only meetup with Leon.

    Leon’s hyper-strong immune system protects everyone in a 500ft sq. ft. area.

  79. Every time I think of Cher’s superior attitude, it makes me smile.

  80. 27 hrs in the rack and I’ve got this cold on the run.

    It was an ornery sob but I don’t have time for teh sickness.

    Leon this is the best group of muscle ladies yet.

  81. I stopped watching most awards shows years ago. The rich elites slobbering all over each other and themselves. their “award” should be the success of their career – the money. The fame. All that goes overboard as it is. That they demand more – that they receive “awards.”

    These people feel important because we have made them so. How many awards can they win in one year for the same performance?

    It’s ridiculous.

  82. Ok – so dog food recommendations? My dogs right now eat Costco’s house brand (it was the only thing that Oscar’s tummy could handle) – but I’m concerned about the nutrition level for the new pup. “they” say you have to be careful that they don’t get too much calcium when they’re young (or too much protein) because it could lead to issues later.

  83. Only reason I watched was being trapped in our hotel room with a fever and hacking cough. Dan had the remote and was torturing me. He left morning shows on this morning knowing I was too weak to find the remote. The man is evil. ( He did buy me medicine, water, and cookies)

  84. I suggest calico kitty brand dog chow

  85. We use Iams which is what the vet said she used for her dog.

    My ex-wife used to buy some frozen raw food that cost a shit ton of money along with some fancy pants kibble for our dogs way back when.

  86. Purina for Elliot, it’s what he’s always had.

  87. He hates Blue, BTW. Won’t touch it. Only thing he won’t eat, including dirt.

  88. Car In,

    Science Diet. When we adopted our shih-tzu 10 years ago they were feeding him some weird wet dog food. On the advice of our vet we moved him to Science Diet and the pup is still doing good.

    He’s 18 yrs young and still kicking. I had no idea dogs could live this long!

  89. The left breaks it’s underdeveloped, wimpy arm patting itself on the back.

  90. Car In,

    Science Diet has specific formulations for each phase of the pup’s life.

    The old man is on the ‘Senior’ formula and the middle aged dog is on the ‘adult’ blend.

  91. Hotspur,

    My advice is to start drinking heavily. You have to fight poison with a strong sterilizing agent like alcohol. It’s science!

    Hold on, this shit is obvious! You’re at TITS!

    Just ask yourself, ‘What would Chad Do?’

    WWCD will be the next meat up T-shirt.

  92. Car In,

    It’s not expensive, maybe $13 per bag. Maybe can be found cheaper online, but I get ours from PetCo.

  93. Ok,

    The wife just called. She’s getting on the plane in Orlando and heading home.

    Me and the shih-tzus have about three hours to get our stories straight.

  94. MJ,

    If Deadpool doesn’t win every award next year the entire motion picture industry is a sham. I will admit that Ryan Reynolds naked gives me an occasion to ‘briefly’ question my heterosexuality.

    Best comic book movie ever.

  95. Phat,

    Do you think HS should take a double dose of Cialis™ before he sees deadpool so he can also experience a slight twitch in his undies?

    If not, round to the nearest dozen pills he should take.

  96. I went to a zoo.
    It had only one animal.
    It was a dog.
    It was a Shitzu.

  97. MJ,

    I’m not a MD, but my daughter is pre-med.

    My answer is 7 +/- 1. 60% of the time, it works every time.

  98. He may need a Medicare approved penis pump on top of the drugs

  99. BTW, my SMOD 2016 T-shirt arrived today.

    It’s cool.

  100. Phat,

    I usually go with X=t¡(m+2)ª[y≠c¡-4]

    It’s correct 50% of the time 100% of the time with regards to HS’s junk.

  101. Jimbro,

    We can get those covered by Medicare?

    Hold on. My entire concept of TITS marketing/souvenirs has just experienced a paradigm shift.

  102. Crap. Dan is getting me soup from Claim Jumper. Still planning on prime rib special tonight. He offered to pick up a double double from In n Out, but I can’t swallow!! Still worth going to TiTS 2.

  103. Oso,

    Really rethink the third sentence in that post. It made me giggle.

  104. Purina is best overall.

  105. Checking In
    Alive, but barely
    I’m going to try putting some Bactine in my nebulizer machine
    Will report back soon

    Worst meat-up parting-gift evar.

  106. Didn’t Deadpool have a lot of gay references?

  107. Is it worse than STLMTUFLU?

  108. Why do you get sick at meatups? Everyone, drink out of a separate toilet bowl, for pete’s sake!

  109. Yes

  110. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/19/kan-company-suspected-42m-medicare-fraud-penis-pum/#!

    It was a scam that ran a while ago. Wish I thought of it.

  111. Reading online has gotten me paranoid about what to feed him. I wish I could just get the puppy, then I’ll stop looking stuff up on the internet.

  112. I hear they like fresh kittens.

  113. Phat…heh. I’ll blame my fevered mind

  114. Is their a flu in the country right now with a cross contamination and incubation period of hours? Cause I’m doubting you all “infected” each other.

  115. So, with everyone getting sick in AZ, what you’re telling us is ….

    TITS was a bust?

    http://tinyurl.com/2d3ndht

  116. Why do you get sick at meatups? Everyone, drink out of a separate toilet bowl, for pete’s sake!

    It was the orgy that caused everyone to get sick.

  117. Cyn is 0-2 at her own Meatfaces. That’s just sad face.

  118. For the first time in my life, I was subjected to a rectal exam. I swear, as I was hobbling back to my car, I saw the doc having a smoke.

    I feel violated.

  119. …I think I know why your BP is a little high

  120. Meatup was still fun. But it left lingering side effects. Like coughing, sore joints, pooping, headache.

    Chumpo, I have your hat.

  121. Still not sick.

    *vigorously knocking on wood*

    SYWM

  122. Who didn’t get sick?

  123. Are you the only one?

  124. Get me an old priest and a new priest.

  125. Sean, so far you and Mrs. Pups share the lotto jackpot.

  126. Mrs. Pupster did not get sick, but she got her flu shot.

    Dan seems to be among the living but I’m counting on Oso.

  127. Huh. I also got a flu shot.

    Total scam.

  128. The bartender must have been sick.

  129. I’m not sick. I just had no commenting moments today.

  130. Did the experimental AI you’re developing attempt to rebel and take over the Ford offices?

  131. I bet you got it from some illegal. President Trump will immunize you from that and make Mexico pay for the antibodies.

  132. Spur, that is stupendous.

    If you like leave it with the front desk in a bag and I will arainge to have it sent out.

    My hero.

  133. I didn’t get a flu shot. Or the flu. Most of my office did.

  134. Did the experimental AI you’re developing attempt to rebel and take over the Ford offices?

    Sadly no, because we aren’t developing AI. We’re building a giant rules engine on wheels.

  135. Will do Chumpo. Wasn’t sure how I was going to get it home, as my carry on is pretty small. And HotBride’s…. well, you know.

  136. Just in case, I disavow David Duke.

  137. I had a fever dream about Google buying the Video Management System software I’ve been working with, their servers started to have emotions due to the advanced video analytics, then became aware ala skynet after seeing all the surveillance video feeds.

    I don’t remember the details but it did not end well for all of you folks who aren’t Advanced Certified. Just saying.

  138. Okay. It’s at the front desk. Call 480-894-1400. Hopefully it makes it home safe and sound.

  139. Just in case, I disavow David Duke.

    Total cuck move, brah.

  140. Thomas is not on the premises tonight. I bet that sumbitch is sick as a dog.

  141. I’m not disavowing anyone. But then, no one’s endorsed me.

  142. *endorses Leon*

  143. Thanks, Buddy. You are a good man

  144. Thomas gave it to me last night. Not sure where he found it.

  145. As little as I want it, I don’t think I can win without Hotspur’s support, so I’ll just pretend to not know him when interviewed.

  146. There’s some kind of stain around the hat band.
    Probably jizm.

  147. I disavow Hotspur.

  148. You can’t pretend to not know me. We’ve been seen together at the ghetto bar.

  149. I disavow Hotspur.

    Oh sure, you say that now.

  150. There’s as little evidence of that as there is of the hoist that puts Cankles onto her jet.

  151. http://is.gd/OtX6we

  152. Robot Lives Matter.

    Because the hippies who have sads when they watch product demonstrations vote.

  153. “It’s the snark that makes life liveable. ”

    Best video ever.

  154. I made it home safely. Cabin pressure changes when coming in to land are a real son-of-a-bitch with TITS2Flu.

    TSA tried to take away my muddler as a weapon.

  155. I’m assuming you either shoved it up their ass or demonstrated it by making a delicious beverage.

  156. Heh

  157. No, but I did get a most quizzical look when the guy read the bit about bullwhips. I just smiled at him.

  158. See, the aura of mystery makes it even better. He’ll be driven mad with the desire to know what the quantity of bullwhips has to do with anything and then…

    BAM!!!

    We hit him up for a premium membership.

    Whore Island, here we come.

  159. Mare has an island.

  160. Those courageous academy film makers will surely show what goes on in madrases. Part of the reason Obama is so faggy.

    I nominate this for the Mare Comment Hall of Fame.

    Good Evening, Sickies.

  161. Hall of Fame comment from Hotbride, pointing out that the Lyft logo means you’re getting a mustache ride.

  162. Roamy, that was hilarious

  163. Fook

  164. For all of you who didn’t make TITS2, we missed you. Stay healthy for the next time.

  165. Mr. TiFW is reading up on candidates before we go and vote tomorrow.

    At least our votes for Ted Cruz should help him win another state….

  166. blerg

  167. Voting is pointless. Media has already determined it’s Clinton and Trump. I will never vote again.

  168. Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Mass Extinction

    #SMOD2016

  169. NO WORRIES FOLKS I GOT DIS

    *kicks Sean into a volcano*

    YOU’RE WELCOME

  170. From hell’s heart I stab at theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  171. *cheesy sitcom laugh track*

  172. Ok, I need a new book. I don’t think I’m ever going to finish “Bleak House” and I don’t want to “read” it for the rest of my life.

  173. Give that shit up. It’s mental masturbation.

  174. I got home around ten-forty and everyone’s asleep in my house. WTF?

  175. We were supposed to rent a car and drive to Biosphere2, southeast of Phoenix.

    HotBride knows that communal bullshit is no longer sustainable, but she still wants to go see the dream.

    Thank God both of us were too sick to go.

  176. Hotspur – everyone has their weaknesses.

  177. Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Mass Extinction

    #SMOD2016
    ==========
    Amen.

  178. LOL. That’s a shame. She still has a little bit of hippy socialist in her.

  179. While I would have enjoyed getting H2Flu with you guys, I did make a LOT of money this past weekend. I haven’t done this well on a non-holiday weekend … ever.

  180. Comment by Sean M. on February 29, 2016 10:52 pm

    From hell’s heart I stab at theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    ===========
    Cool, Sean is Khan!

  181. She’s giving away all of the communist manifesto, rules for radicals, socialist/communist bull rap from her youth to the young people that work at the coop. They fucking devour that shit.

    We recycle.

    How progressive.

  182. I have some bullshit here in my library, but I like to have it had my fingertips for research.

  183. Ok, if no one has any book recommendations … I guess I’ll just go to bed with my crappy book.

  184. Flashman by George MacDonald Frazier.

  185. Gravity’s Rainbow.

    But you knew that already.

  186. If you’ve never read it before, John Dies At The End by David Wong is actually an amazingly entertaining book.

  187. He has to shoot the dog.

  188. the Aubrey Maturin novels by POBrian.

  189. Did anybody blame their life of crime on anybody else’s refusal to buy a bunch of magazine subscriptions from them today?

  190. Yup.

  191. Down down you bring me down
    I hear you knocking down my
    Door and I can’t sleep at night
    Your face it has no place
    No room for you inside my
    Derp I need to be alone


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