So, What’s Your Favorite Pickled Food?



This is getting carried away


These really don’t count


When desire becomes obsession


I looked for a few pickle jokes but they were of the embarrassing 4th grade humor variety and even the nsfw ones were utterly predictable. So I said fuhgeddaboudit till next Thursday.



  1. Very nice song

  2. I don’t understand the point of these posts.

  3. Also, what’s up with the divorced eggs tag?

  4. Thats a dish. It’s never what you think its going to be but your wife makes out like a bandit and your lawyer sticks you with the tab.

  5. Thors-day content

  6. I have heard of a few teams currently working on a twitter alternative. Not right-wing, but explicitly and permanently anti-censorship. I should see if I can get in on the ground floor of one.

  7. I’d eat it

  8. Both kids had colds last week and I thought I had it and fought it off. But both Paula and I are talking like heavy smokers with sore throats. Guess we didn’t fight it off.

  9. Jimbro, same here: caught the cold from youngest daughter after I thought I’d avoided it. Nose running like a damned freight train fulla snot.

    Damned little disease vectors…

  10. I seem to have some sort of sinus infection, mostly on the right. Eustachian tube on that side feels swollen and my hearing is altered after laying down for a few hours. I feel fine after I’m upright for a while, but it’s not fun. I’m almost never sick, so I’m going to blame this on daycare, i.e. going to an office.

  11. I’ll take your upper-respiratory things, and raise you a norovirus.

    Two kids down.


  12. Shit, just sneezed and now my nose is running. I might have to take a sick half day. I’d take a sick whole day but I have an 11am meeting.

  13. I’ve got nothing on my schedule today but my partner is off this week. Hopefully it will just be email stuff from the office. They need to run all the referrals by us and I just did a stack yesterday so hopefully they can wait one day till I’m in tomorrow morning.

  14. Alt Twitter, yes.
    Keep is in the loop.

  15. Also dont forget about good ole’ Afrin for your nasal predicaments.
    That stuff kicks the snot out of mucus.

  16. Afrin is good shit when you can’t sleep because the snotbox is plugged. Saline spray during the day, Afrin at night,limited use to avoid the rebound effect.

  17. *drops off a few boxes of Crystal Kremes in the H2 kitchen, tops off Contigo with Double Mochameth Coffee, heads back out the door*

  18. *sits down to a bowl of Weedies*

  19. I’d eat it


    Damn, that looks Tasty!

  20. Saline spray? Hmmm.

    What do you think of Neti pots, jimbro?

  21. *wonders what “overuse” means. Couple times a day ok? Sometimes I’m afraid of drowning when I waterboard myself with a neti pot.

  22. Aww, Trump doesn’t like Cruz’s new ad. So they’ll play it more often.

    Prepare for the Trumpertantrum!

  23. That safest eggs site made me laugh. The risk of salmonella from eggs is really overblown. I’ve eaten hundreds of raw eggs – even straight from the grocery store – and never had it. The poultry industry in the US has been really good about policing it.

    And the blame for all of it is on the weirdos who keep iguanas as pets.

  24. Major Spoiler!

  25. Cruz has discovered the right spot to punch in the glass jaw. I’m liking his chances against the Bernster.

  26. I used to think neti pots were useful and used them when needed during a cold. The more I read about rare infections the less enamored I became. I used tap water, added salt by the guesstimate method and rinsed it out with hot water afterwards. The odds of an infection were pretty low but I need to preserve all the brains I got and not lose them to Naegleria fowleri. Sam’s sells saline spray bottles with preservatives in them just in case you get a little booger on the tip. They’re cheap enough that you can toss the half used ones at the end of the season or after a couple of months.

  27. Last time my allergies nailed me I used a repurposed and sanitized veterinary oral syringe to shoot hot saltwater up my nose.

  28. Leon, you should quit your job at Fort and start working on an alternative to twitter.


  29. Just remember, filibustering a SCOTUS pick is Unconstitutional!

  30. XBrad can correct me but it looks like Major Spoiler is Captain Spoiler. Which, if true, spoils the meme.

  31. I have a cheap squirt bottle that gets soaked in bleach water after use. Wonder if StarSan (brewing sanitizer) would be a good second use?

  32. Oh come on, jimbro, that’s why they photoshopped MJ onto his name tag! Supersedes the rank insignia.

  33. Squawkr.

  34. STAR SAN is a blend of phosphoric acid and dodecylbenzenesulfonic acid.

    Seems legit.


  35. I wonder if Tim Cook would so vigorously oppose unlocking the iPhone of one of the guys who crashed the wildlife refuge over the San Bernardino mooslim shooters?

    Probably, I just think the news coverage might be different than it is now.

  36. +1000, Jimbro!

  37. Have you guys seen the new Star Wars yet?

  38. Luke Skywalker dies. Han Solo accidentally kills him.

    So sad.

  39. MJ – we’ve moved on to Deadpool.

    Please do try to keep up.

  40. Excuse me, how about a SPOILER ALERT! scott might decide to see a movie in the next decade.

  41. Oh sorry.

    What the fork is deadpool? I remember seeing a pretty good Clint Eastwood movie of that name about 25 years ago.


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  43. I’m not in “Scott” territory, but I don’t think I’ve seen a movie in a theater in a year or so.

  44. I pretty much despise the whole super hero movie trend. If it was kept minimal that would be one thing, but noooooooo. They have to make a movie for every comic book character known to man. On top of that they have to be formulaic. Very few story lines outside of “super hero(s) save the planet…..

  45. “Supergirl Blows Hotspur”

    That was an awesome movie. Would definitely watch again.

  46. I will be watching Deadpool and Zoolander 2 in AZ. I love both genres. Stoopid and Supers.

  47. “Supergirl Blows Hotspur”
    That was an awesome movie. Would definitely watch again.


  48. I’m a Zoolander fan, too. Gasoline Fight!

  49. I like quite a few Ben Stiller movies. Zoolander is one of my favs.

  50. Bush out of money, ending pay for campaign staff

    Just drop it already!

  51. I’d like to sit down with this twatwaffle and ask him one question:

    Can you give me a list Cankle’s accomplishments?

  52. Oso — please check you email.

  53. I saw that article linked somewhere Hotspur and didn’t even bother to click on it. Sycophants are gonna slobber all over their love object regardless of reality.

  54. Sycophant: “yes-man, bootlicker, brown-noser, toady, lickspittle, flatterer, flunky, lackey, spaniel, doormat, stooge, cringer, suck, suck-up”.

    Sounds like Jeb!!!1!!1’s advisory team.

  55. Peter Daou = Liberal writer. He’s probably Shoq on twitter.

  56. Apparently the “vote for HillBill because she’s a woman” wasn’t working, so he wants you to vote for her because she’s a victim.

    Great plan.

  57. It sounds like Jeb!11!!1 might be out of money.

    What a waste.

  58. I wonder if Tim Cook would so vigorously oppose unlocking the iPhone of one of the guys who crashed the wildlife refuge over the San Bernardino mooslim shooters?

    Probably, I just think the news coverage might be different than it is now.

    If the phone belonged to a right-wing Christian who opposed gay marriage, Apple would already have released the contents of his phone online.

  59. Having just come from a nearby WalMart Super Store: Just encountered several women wearing opaque/nearly opaque tights as pants, butt cracks and puds/moose toes shining through like bright Grand Opening spotlights. I wouldn’t particularly find this all that disturbing where it not for the fact that the multiple times I’ve encountered such fashion forward ladies, easily 90% of them weighed on the summit side of 250lbs.

  60. Fat shamer. ^^

  61. *puts on opaque tights and prepares to go to Wallmart.

  62. *adjusts camel toe

  63. Does it make any difference if you wear a tight fitting top?


  64. Camel Toe:

    1 oz dark rum
    .5 oz Ouzo
    .25 oz elderflower liqueur
    250 lbs of fat chick fupa

  65. ok, that’s just nasty.

  66. nobody serves Ouzo with rum.

  67. Cyn, done. Tights as pants with boots is gross. Watching the Cuba presser. Any bets about Gitmo being returned and TFG paying reparations for 50 years of embargo as opposed to claims for Cubans that fled the Commies?

  68. Can he stay in Havana?

  69. You do that drink on Saturday and I will hang up on you and never take your call again.

  70. Wow, bold claim from John McAfee, but one that should be listened to:

  71. The cute chick wearing pleather pants on Wheel of Fortune last night made me happy.

  72. Oso – you okay with the restaurant choices?

  73. Forget lesbian pron, we’ve got Wheel of Fortune!

  74. I don’t approve, Cyn. You’ll need to rework it.

    Chop chop

  75. **cough****cough

  76. Cyn, I can always find something on the menu. More about the company than the food

  77. Shift+8 pouts.

  78. Alcohol is on the menu. I’m good.

  79. Watching the Cuba presser. Any bets about Gitmo being returned and TFG paying reparations for 50 years of embargo as opposed to claims for Cubans that fled the Commies?

    Bleh. Don’t tempt fate like that.

  80. Oso, just making double sure 🙂

  81. Thanks, Cyn. CoAl, ok then, how about the timeline for the GOPe cave on the SCOTUS? I’m calling mid-June after the primaries.

  82. Pope piehole shut it

    Some assembly required.

  83. Hotspur, quit building walls, and build a bridge.

    Is this bridge like the Gaza bridge on Vox a while back?

  84. Exactly like that bridge. I’d prefer a moat filled with alligators.

  85. The pope can go back to his walled city and eat a bag of horse cock.

  86. Not a fan of the new Pope. Tired of the Popesplain. He’s a commie.

  87. I long for the days of Benny 16’s careful message discipline.

  88. The Onion stinks.

    meet the new editor.

  89. I’m sorry The Pope is such a punk, Leon.

    hopefully the next Pope will be more ecclesiastical and less up his own ass about being the it girl.

  90. lol

  91. Why is anyone upset that Jug-Ears isn’t attending Scalia’s funeral? He would just take the opportunity to mug it up with the press, and make the whole thing about himself.

    It’s what he does.

    Fuck him. Maybe he’ll get hit by lightning on the golf course.

  92. I was under the impression that Scalia’s funeral was private. In which case, Obama’s non-attendance is perfectly reasonable.

  93. Looks like it’s going to be sunny and in the mid to upper 80s for TITS.


  94. Jeebus, arguing natural born citizenship with people is tiring. It’s not that fucking hard.

  95. I say we feed Jimbro to the woodchipper.

  96. If I could watch that video on a continuous loop as my feet descend into the woodchipper I’d leave this earth a happy man.

  97. 13% humidity here. I have alligator skin.

  98. The same TFG lovers in mi familia love papa francisco. I got sucked into a group text with them. This Pope loves fascists and commies. And muzzies. Except when there are armed guardia around the Vatican that tourists can’t take pictures of. Co-worker nearly got her iPhone confiscated for taking pic of armed guards around the Vatican.

  99. “Does it make any difference if you wear a tight fitting top?


    Well, the muffin top distracts from the camel toe … so … I say YES!

  100. I wore a tight fitting top on Tuesday. You could really see my beer gut/bellybutton/muffin top. I was kind of grossed out, but it’s a vintage California Angels tee.

  101. My muffin top is unique since it’s mostly just one one side – and actually scar tissue from the donation.

    It looks reeeeaaaaally great.

  102. Trying to decide if I should buy jeggings or tights for TiTs2

  103. I’m lying. I would never wear Jeggings. Or tights.

  104. I’m really hoping the next pope is one of the African cardinals. Those guys do not putz around. Plus, I think we have the same clock on our wall:

  105. Assless chaps.

  106. Leon, me too. The African Cardinals are true defenders of the faith in the trenches with true evil.

  107. There are also a few Chinese bishops that have to keep very, very quiet, but I suspect they are emphatically NOT commies.

  108. Yep. The European clergy is as compromised as the Latins.

  109. *Mails this to the Bishop of Rome*

    Read it. Love it. Live it.

  110. Hey, lookee there, an African Bishop!

  111. Our local L8 term abortion destinations may be part of the illegal organ sales. Eyes to be exact.

  112. That’s horrifying, Oso.

  113. Jeez Louise, that book is 804 pages Leon. Do you have a Cliff Notes link?

  114. Cashier at work became Catholic after reading that book. Andre is a pretty good guy.

  115. My Sneaky Pete holster arrived!

  116. Well, one of the spoilers is that the City of God has walls.

    Mostly it’s an early work of apologetics refuting the notion that Christianity was to blame for the fall of Rome. It also lays out the basic outline of Just War Doctrine. Christians being outlaws meant they were mostly pacifists and willing to die as martyrs, the shift to being legally recognized and then a dominant religion (particularly among soldiers) meant that a Christian philosophy of defensive war to protect a nation or those who could not fight was required.

  117. Co-worker is a vocal Bernie supporter. I was a wee bit rude to him last night. I H8 commies.

  118. Sneaky Pete holster

    Best euphemism ever.

  119. Evening.

  120. It’s still just afternoon here.

  121. Still evening here. Midwest, check in.

  122. Mountain Standard Time Zone – represent!

  123. OH, and

  124. Sun’s out and folks are still rolling on the western boundary of the CST. I’m just 10 miles from a Mountain. So im calling it “late afternoon”.

  125. You know, I hate to brag, but the sun set here two hours ago. Been dark and cold for quite a while now.

    *swells with pride, and possibly, a touch of death*

  126. I’m so far east it’s practically tomorrow

  127. Mountain time is awesome. Still light here/

  128. LIV Dan is enjoying Trump humping the commie Pope.

  129. At the on-site restaurant waiting for the Manilow concert to begin. The crowd is heavily skewing Middle-aged to AARP….

  130. The one year I lived in Denver I was amazed that I could watch Monday Night Football and still get a good night’s sleep.

  131. LOL. Just got a friend request from that certain crazy person we all know.

    Nope! There’s a reason I unfriended you years ago.

  132. As I read your comment Teresa I thought it said Middle Eastern and got a little nervous for you.

  133. I believe (support and defend) in the Crusades, then and now.

    And that’s all I have to say about that.

  134. Oh, and I just saw an ad for AARP. They can go eff themselves.

  135. TIFW, I saw Barry in concert back in the day. Very Vegas. Even then.

  136. LOL. Just got a friend request from that certain crazy person we all know.

    Rosetta’s not that bad. Just… confused.


  138. I still H8 Eastern time. Too L8. We were wired to radio delay. Assholes at Sat/Com would make wagers.

  139. Back from evening mass/confession/adoration. Did I miss anything out in the world or here?

  140. Well, xbrad just whetted my curiosity.

  141. Pepe, it may be wrong but I Lol’d .

  142. xbrad just whetted my curiosity

    now THERE’S something you don’t read every day

  143. W*ckedP*nto.

  144. “That crazy person we all know” narrowed it down to about 5 for me.

  145. He has a girlfriend and he’s sober. Mucho regrets

  146. So, my mom’s friend is in hospice. His kids and siblings have gathered. My Tias are there. I’m all ACA. See you in Tempe

  147. I was in a group of 8 people proposing flight experiments today. I felt like the kid who painted Styrofoam balls and made a solar system for the science fair project. There was one proposal to not only pull the metal out of an asteroid but make either hydrogen or water while doing it.

  148. Thanks xbrad.

    Cyn, you have a dirty mind. I love it!

  149. There was one proposal to not only pull the metal out of an asteroid but make either hydrogen or water while doing it.

    Can we name the metal Excalibur?

  150. Me too, Scott. Lots of possibilities.

  151. We should launch a giant dickbutt satellite just to screw with the Russians.

    You should suggest that, RFH.

  152. Yeah, Romy needs to make sure there’s a big mystery and fanfare and all the bigshots are invited, for maximum impact.

  153. Someone made the point recently somewhere that if we actually build the Great Wall of Trump, it would put the fear of America into the world again. It made me think of this. I can’t fault the logic in either scenario. I’m completely at peace with the Great Wall of Cruz, too.

    Hell, if Bernie says he’ll build the wall by forgiving student loans for hours spent working on it, I’ll vote for him over Mario.

  154. Please put a continuous recording of Donke Shoen inside the dickbutt satellite.

  155. I had two “skip-level” meetings this week with F*rd management. Two things came out of them:

    1) I finally understand why car companies are bothering with this
    2) I still don’t care

  156. Please put a continuous recording of Donke Shoen inside the dickbutt satellite.

    And exactly 1 tungsten telephone pole with a release mechanism.

  157. If college kids build the wall it will be 12 inches high and .27 miles long.

    And that’s if all of the college kids in the country work on it for 4 years.

  158. Roamy, two words: Death Ray.

  159. OTOH, they’d all be concentrated at the border and have to watch illegals sneak across and steal their futures and the real jobs they eschewed.

  160. Lunch meeting with some partner. He talked a lot about building the business and all that crap, and then opened the floor for questions. That’s when it turned ugly. People are still pissed about the firings and the team up at FORSCOM.

  161. We’re so close to the stage that we’re going to be able to see the plastic surgery scars….

  162. Metaphor for self driving cars.

  163. Please put a continuous recording of Donke Shoen Trololo inside the dickbutt satellite.


  164. Trololo FTW.

  165. I am starting to think that this is the best idea ever.

  166. It needs a huge strontium battery so it can transmit the trololo song to Earth’s surface at all times whenever it’s overhead. It can thereby serve as a sort of GPS substitute, where you can encode the orbit position in the trololo sgnal.

  167. член стыковой

  168. The man looks awfully good for 71….

    We were just able to sit down, then he told everyone to stand up to sing along with “Can’t Smile Without You”.


  169. Now he’s playing Chopin….

  170. Barry Manilow is still alive?

  171. He’s still doing shows.

  172. VC Andrews is still writing books, too, so that’s no help.


  174. I have a lead on some telecommuting work with the old place.

    Do I dare to hope? Do I dare to dream?

  175. Dare! Dare!

  176. My new toy is in the mail. Unfortunately it won’t arrive until Monday. 😦

  177. Is it a dickbutt bathtoy?

  178. Yes. Yes it is. Your mom recommended it highly.

  179. Gross.

  180. Beats the heck out of a rubber ducky.

  181. Time to go read Exodus until I fall asleep. I’m in the middle of the Plagues.

  182. Hope you feel better soon.

  183. Well, that was a lot of fun!

  184. Trolling Leon:

  185. When you lie, kiss your baby bye bye bye
    And if you’re true, the whole wide world will laugh with you
    When we see nothing’s wrong with you and me
    Derp will tell, it might even bring a wedding bell

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