Wire Cracker

All right, take a knee.


If’n ye are at work or at church then accepted standards and practices demand that while we at The Wire continue to take all precautions related to protecting your livelihood or your mortal soul be advised that there may be at times artists featured here whose subjects appear nude or half nude and in that spirit we issue the correspondent warning:



whateve.  No one wears the pants in Wei Dong’s family, evidently.

b. 1968 Somewhere in Mongolia N.Y.

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Wei Dong is a master of representing light through flesh.  He’s no Rembrandt but he’s no joik from Flatbush neither.

Region capture 54

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I knew we would survive this.

Thank you for viewing.


Have a wonderful day.



  1. Congratulations to our own LauraW for making The Urban Dictionary w SMOD.

    You broke through. Excellent.

  2. I’d hit it

  3. If Dune had Bene Gesserit orgy scenes, these would be those.

  4. representing light through flesh.

    Fleshy fleshy flesh.

    Fun to say.


  5. Gives me the same creepy feeling I get from the giants in Attack on Titan.

  6. There is something going on in this artists head. Therapy might help.

  7. Is this political satire at the time and in that place?

    I do get the light through flesh deal.

  8. Thanks, Chumpo. It was all Alexthechick’s idea, I just posted on it.

  9. Opium.

  10. I pay my oil guy in advance and I still have a balance left over from fall of 2014. We burned a lot of wood last year and this year the combination of warmer temps and lower oil ppg has worked out well. I’ll owe him after the next delivery for sure.

  11. My first thought was post-Soviet-punk lesbian orgy, but Bene Geserit works too.

  12. ww

    I forgot that.

  13. Husband got a crazy call from his mother a bit ago. Said she was crying and having some sort of episode. He’s on the way. She’s 40 min away from his work. I asked if we had a neighbor’s number or something so we could have them check and make sure she’s ok before he gets there.

    So prayer request. TIA.

  14. Done.

  15. Thanks.

  16. Episode of what? Hope it’s not anything really serious!

  17. I don’t know. He said he thought she was having a nervous breakdown. Crying. DIdn’t feel right. I guess we just have to wait an see what’s up.

  18. This shit is even weirder than the trannies Leon posts on Mondays.

  19. Comment by Car in on January 19, 2016 9:01 am


    I forgot that.

    You forgot to tell us how much you hate us all.

  20. Just did rounds and walked out through the ER to say hi to Paula who is the psych nurse today. She was busy, standing behind two very large security guards with a syringe in her hand and a look of sheer determination on her face. I just gave her the good luck thumbs up and left before shit got real.

  21. You forgot to tell us how much you hate us all.

    I was going to do that later after I got some errands done.

  22. Many many years ago I started my security career in Hospital security. Had some serious knock down drag out fights there, arrested more than one or two people….crazy the shit that goes on at hospitals…..

  23. Ok, face douch friend just posted article “Science links anxiety to High IQ and Sentinel Intelligence, social anxiety to very rare pyschic gift”.


    My eyes are rolling out of my head.

  24. Someone needs to do something about Chumpo.

  25. But WHAT?

  26. Heh.

  27. Yake me to lunch

  28. *gives Chumpo the old “Paint By Number”*

  29. Wash mine car

  30. Send me a candy gram

  31. Prayers up for Car in.

  32. For chumpo NO ONE ELSE LOOK!

  33. I’ve been wrong all along…

    After visiting the Topography of Terror museum I’ve learned that Hitler and Himler were very, very bad people.

    Who knew? I always though lack of opportunity for jobs that created the Nazi party.

    –dumb American, Marie Harf

  34. It was teh JOOS Mj.

    Just like in the middle east.

  35. Why hasn’t someone gotten MJ a juicebox?

  36. *opens door*

    Oh, Jay! You shouldn’t ha…aAAAAAAHGGHGGHHH!!!!……..

  37. Overall, I give the Topography of Terror 9 out of 10 B-17s. You start at the rise of the SS, then end up with our guys guarding captured 16 year olds in 1945.

    The coffee was also nice.

    Walking from West to East Berlin was kind of cool too.

    Not fun: It’s cold enough to die. I haven’t been in cold like this in about 15 years.

  38. How many times were you raped by Syrian doctors seeking a better life for their families?

  39. 12.5

  40. By the 11th time I just laid back and enjoyed it. Like your mom.

  41. They have internet in Europe? Huh.

  42. MJ should dress less provocatively. Or pee on them.

  43. For your continued saftey in Muzzland, try wearing this.


  44. It’s 25 F in germany! Living in the South has turned you into a giant pansy, MJ!

  45. 25?!!

    WTF is wrong with you MJ?

  46. So. Palin is going to endorse Trump? Interesting. After supporting Cruz in the Senate.

    If Bristol thinks this is being nasty to her mom, and Sarah is retweeting it, they need to reevaluate:


  47. Although this does play into the feeling of some H2ers as to the sliminess of Cruz.

  48. I don’t give a fuck about any of them.

    They all need to be schlonged.

  49. Let The Great Schlonging commence!

  50. Comment by Mr Chumpo on January 19, 2016 2:35 pm

    Let The Great Schlonging commence!

    I’ll take “Things your mom said” for $1,000 Alex….

  51. Comment by Mr Chumpo on January 19, 2016 2:35 pm

    Let The Great Schlonging commence!

    You first

  52. I’m transitioning back into the low carbing. Except for this beer.

    Picked up a few bags of chicharrones to supplant the habitual chip eating, while I work on my other dietary no-nos first. Like this beer.

  53. WHAT? Beer has carbs?

  54. Quite a few, yes. But I have good news: these carbs are tiny, and wafer-thin. You can’t even see them.

    Can you see the carbs in this beer? Of course not, nobody can. Because they are incredibly incredibly small. And therefore harmless.

  55. Phew, you had me worried there. I thought I was going to have to give up beer.

    Only the ones I can’t see through, right? The carbs cloud up the beer, right?

  56. Yes, Jay. It is obvious that you have a superior mind for science.

  57. Today’s IB moment http://is.gd/WLw148

  58. I disagree with Palin’s choice. Such a waste.

  59. It’s colder than 25. I estimate somewhere around -128.

    And I’ve always been a pansy, Jay. Try to keep up.

    And yes, they have the internet here but you have to put a Kroner in the squeeze box and promise you won’t say anything bad about Angela Merkel.

    And no, I didn’t go swimming although I did start dressing more provocatively so as to attract the right kind of attention from the wrong kind of girls. Mostly short skirts to show my toned legs.

  60. Europeans do not like the Trump.

  61. Theyre so Fired.

  62. Maybe they would like The Trump more if he was fondeling thier sons and daighters at the local plunge.

  63. That makes me like Trump more. Europeans are not my favorite.

    MJ why didn’t they call this Little Saint Petersburg? Jeeze there a lot of Russians here.

  64. ^^What Chumpo said^^

  65. Evening.

  66. The Europeons are going to like us more when we (russians included) come and save their ass during the upcoming unpleasentness…

    *sp intentional

  67. Two of Crazy Cat Lady’s cats have been in heat. I’ve hardly slept for days because they never shut the fuck up.

    And for some reason they specifically scream at me. The downstairs one paces the room I’m in and yowls until she exhausts herself,then the upstairs cat takes a turn standing at the basement door and screaming down the stairsway.

  68. Lauraw – I made up a weight/fitness/health challenge for my work friends. It starts Monday. There are two winners – one who loses most percentage of body fat and one who does the best in fitness/food choices (for those who aren’t trying to lose weight). Someone could win both catetories – but I just thought this would be more fun.

    Tonight at zumba I mentioned I did this and they want me to make a version for the box.

    Box is the cool lingo we zumbaers use for “gym”.

  69. I am SO fired up for Trump now.


    MG – that skirt makes your ass look fat.

    Someone had to tell you.

  70. Europeans can go go fuck themselves welcome Muslims into their country.

  71. It’s time.

    I hate you people so much.

  72. Is Pat’s mom OK?

  73. I second Scott on the MiL update

  74. Did anybody? Tell anybody else? That they were gonna kill them? If they didn’t knock it off? With the uptalking? Today?

  75. Jay http://is.gd/U6ZvqN

  76. Car in needs to be shunned.

  77. It’s beginning to look like Friday will be dedicated to blizzard prep.

    Winter has arrived.

  78. Just don’t forget the mil,k eggs and bread.

  79. Winter is arriving.

  80. We need to ring in the new season with some shunning.

  81. Last week, my evangelical co-worker made some disparaging remark about David Bowie because she thought he was a satanist. I think he was or pretended to be at one time, but just to be argumentative, I pulled up the video of Bowie saying the Lord’s Prayer in concert and played it for her. I lost a high school classmate last week. Bunch of us were talking about Glenn Frey, Natalie Cole, etc., and I made some crack about the Rapture happening in slow motion. She got so upset, I felt bad. She’s worried she’s being left behind.

  82. It’s about this time every year that I kick myself for not having built a sauna yet.

  83. The Rapture is silly. Besides, the Jehovah people told me that being left on (perfect, new) Earth after the Judgment was the best I could likely hope for.

  84. Winter Storm Jonas is forecast to miss us as of right now.

    Bakeries, Egg and Dairy Farms Hardest Hit

  85. Jay, beer is out if you’re low-carbing. Whiskey and soda can be made to work, however, along with most liquors and fortified wines that lack real sugar content.


  86. I’d pay good money to see MJ in a skirt.

  87. I’d pay better money not to see it.

  88. Where ya been Cyn?

  89. I’m sorry, leon, I’ve been assured if I drink clear beer I’m ok.


  90. Needed a little space. Hard time with my mom’s passing; was a year ago now already.

  91. Jay http://is.gd/U6ZvqN


  92. good to see ya again, Cyn!

  93. Rapture is silly

  94. Thanks Jay- I’ll take one of them there clear beers please!

  95. Jay, all is made clear in the finest diet book ever written.

  96. I didn’t mean to be a dick.

  97. I thought they nabbed Cyn on that road rage murder in Tempe.

  98. It didn’t even enter my mind that you were being a dick at all – if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have asked. Mmmwah

  99. Ain’t that road rage thing something else? I heard that she said something about wanting to be suicided by cop. Too bad they didn’t.

  100. HAHA I just figured out our Saturday night TITS2 entertainment activity


  101. Evening Hostages.

    So, Trump, Palin, Hillary, Palin, Hillary, Trump, Palin, Palin, Hillary, Trump.

    Does that about cover the day?

  102. Heh, Roamy, I ~might~ have been one of those mom’s. And I ate my words hard and fast.

  103. Pretty much. BTW, are we getting another episode of the Angry Munchkin Power Hour tomorrow?

  104. **hugs Cyn inappropriately**

    I’d say it gets easier, but there’s still lots-of-dust-in-here moments. Mom’s been gone 6.5 years, and I still teared up putting her Christmas ornaments on my tree with Living Strings music in the background.

  105. Evenin’ BC.

    Sounds like my missing the news today was a good thing.

  106. I tried to read the comment threads at the mothership, Bcoch. Can’t do it. I want a sauna, not a bonfire.

  107. Cyn, it’s as stupid as ever.

    Leon, I haven’t read anything at the HQ in a couple days. It just…*sigh*….I like most of those people and I still want to just smack them all around.

  108. re: sanctimommy/scarymommy – Rocketboy never let me sleep more than 2.5 hours for the first 3 months, so I was worried I was never going to get a decent night’s sleep again.

  109. Ah, I figured that was what you were referring to. It’s as bad as you imagine.

    If Bernie Sanders wins I’m switching my career to organized crime and going on welfare.

  110. A buddy texted me earlier, “Yesterday was 3 open threads and the ONT. Today it’s Palin/Trump, Hillary, Palin/Trump, Hillary/Sanders, Hillary/Palin/Trump. I’m not sure which is worse.”


  111. I wish Ace would do more cultural commentary, but unfortunately a certain subset freaks out anytime the discussion strays away from politics.

  112. We’ll all be on welfare if Bernie wins. and he might!

  113. Probably die in office, too. Natural causes, of course.

  114. And if Sanders wins, it’ll be a toss up on whether I laugh or drink myself to death first.

  115. If Bernie wins I’ll probably be able to find work as a mercenary fighting in all the wars that are going to tear up the world.

  116. A certain subset freaks no matter what, CA.

    Honestly, this is going to sound horrible, but the best Ace is Ace right before a (I’m playing internet psychologist which is admittedly stupid) manic downturn. He’s incredibly biting, sarcastic, witty and just funny as all fuck.

  117. I always read the movie reviews.

  118. Ace has a website? Hunh.

  119. That’s the rumor

  120. Are they re-dragging Petraus through the mud in order to be able to compare Hillary with him? “See, she’s in good company — even hero generals mishandle classified information”

  121. I would be in jail for the rest of my life if I had done what either of them have done. They should both be doing time.

  122. I could watch that dryer all night.

  123. He should post here. Lord onows he can put up any old thing and no one will be the wiser.
    (zip it)

    *shuns Scott W harder*

  124. According to Big Joe, these two duelling models he cites both have CT at 12-14 minches of snow for the weekend.

    Holy typos- OK, I don’t know what a minch is, either, but after it snows I’ll take whatever the total snowfall is in our area and divide it by 13 to find the answer for you.

  125. Holyshot, Batman! It’s full of maths!!

  126. I think it’s supposed to be low 70s for the high here on Sat

  127. Rough day. Another wrong way driver avoided. OMG WTF? Dan is accusing me of eating the last two fresh tamales. Wasn’t me. FYI CoAl, Dan’s concert buddy isn’t on facedouche. His “Smoking Hot” boss who shares a name with our dog is. I made the mistake of saying Dan was watching the Steeler game with MaryAnn.

  128. No snow in our forecast, but we have actual winter temps in the 20s and 30s, not old people temperatures in the 70s.

  129. Stop shunning my hubby! He’s a nice man! I will pinch you SO hard. *makes pinch fingers*

  130. *looks very closely at Chumpo*

    *grabs the tongs instead*

    *looks harder at Chumpo*

    Anybody here got some disposable tongs I can use?

  131. *avoids Laura’s pincers*

    Wasn’t me! Wasn’t me!

  132. *runlaughtripspill*

    “He started it!!!”

    Okokokokokok! I will iwill iwill iwill iwill…

    *shuns ScottW harder*

  133. Wait, who shuns Scott? He’s the H2 conscience.

  134. SONUVA-

    *heats spring clamp to cherry red with propane torch*

  135. *trips everyone*

    *runs like hell*

  136. OK, with that, I’m out. Long day tomorrow. Stim you later.

    After I’m gone, will somebody unclamp Chumpo’s bottom lip from his bozack, please, thanks. No rush, ok. I know it’s late and you have important things to get done first.

    ‘night schmoops

  137. Nighty night, Humpy

  138. -mmfntmfmf fmdmdmdmdmfmgngjgj!!!!!

  139. As much as I love the Ewok, Jack M Coldcuts is my Lodestone.

  140. *Releases Chumpo so he can eat at Pancho’s*

  141. **looks at my clean room tongs**

    Wow, I didn’t know hump venom could remove the finish like that.

  142. Whew. That was close.

    Thanks, Lips.
    *dips chip in glorious guacamole*

    Madam, may we have a couple of Cadilacs over here?

    Thank you.

  143. Lucky for the Chump he said Guacamole not Guac. Whew. SJW don’t allow for the nons to say “Guac”

  144. Gwauck.

  145. I kind of H8 the SJWs. Especially the familia. I’m on my last nerve. Mom’s BF is Staged. 4. I refuse to take care of her when I have 2 sibs she didn’t beat the shit out of for years.

  146. El Chumpo knows how to order…
    *flemenco guitar crescendo*

  147. hmmm, enchilada or chimichanga?

    What to do, what to do. . . ?

  148. TITS2

  149. that’s like a Bat Signal

  150. for drunk bats

  151. Donald Trump/Chris Walken 2016

    What? Are You Mad?! America, fugedaboutit.

  152. Got no derp, I got no rhythm
    I just keep losing my beat (You just keep losing and losing)
    I’m OK, I’m alright (he’s alright – he’s alright)
    I ain’t gonna face no defeat (yeah yeah)
    I just gotta get out of this prison cell
    One day (someday) I’m gonna be free, Lord!

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