What would you buy with the Powerball jackpot?

We’ve all dreamed about it. What would you do if you had Fuck You Money? Would you invest it prudently? Start the business you’ve always dreamed about? Pay Obama to take a vow of silence for the rest of his term? No, we all know what you’d do with the money:
 

 
Anyway, there are some more things you could buy after the jump.

Aston-Martin-DB5
 
Vincent-van-Gogh-art-gallery-painting-Cottages
 
detective-27-cgc-80
 
scratchers
 
unicorn1
 
Whore-Island-Archer-T-Shirts

74 Comments

  1. One of my purchases is an RV for my baseball stadium roadtrip. A ball. AA ball. AAA ball. MLB Stadiums. Pens for my scorecards. I may need a driver. Dan would rather fly for the beisbol.

  2. Guy designed homes on the Kona coast and on Kauai

  3. Wouldn’t you rather spend that money on new yarn?

  4. Leon, what precisely is this new reactor that you’d develop?

  5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LFTR

    That’s where I’d throw a big chunk of change.

  6. A lot of people say they want a unicorn, but you can’t actually eat those Skittles.

  7. I’d build the first underwater Wal-Mart

  8. PJ is the knitter. I eschew all of the sewing arts/

  9. Sean, I’d buy a box at the Big A. You could watch baseball with me. As long as you ate regular food. No PANDA!!!

  10. The driverless car hack sounds like a sweet side project, though.

  11. Evening.

  12. I have never eaten a panda.

  13. The thorium reactor sounds interesting. The fact that we don’t have a nationwide network of small nuke reactors is freaking criminal.

    Also, you could hack the driverless cars to deliver their occupants to the nearest steakhouse or weightlifting gym.

  14. “Eating a panda” is when you go hogging while on deployment to Asia.

  15. Panda Express. I can’t even. That is not ballpark food!!!!

  16. Most of the holdup on thorium reactor research is regulatory. I figure lobbying congress would cost too much. Cheaper to just move everything to Colombia and buy off their government.

  17. No chopsticks in baseball!!!

  18. Or I could buy a skull-shaped island and do the work there.

  19. Whore Island, leon. Whore. Island.

  20. Or I could buy a skull-shaped island and do the work there.

    You’d need a henchwoman. Ivana Squatalot or Roe Bustaunches.

  21. *wins powerball*
    *buys island shaped like a whore*
    *renames it “Your Mom”*

  22. After getting home I always change into shorts and take my shirt off (duh).

    Today. . .

    Knock-knock

    Strange Lady: Uh. . . Hi? Is Crazy Cat Lady here?

    Me: Oh. Back yard.

    Lady: Oh. . . Uh . . . Uh. . . You’re sexy. *runs away*

    Me: Fuck my life.

  23. You could build a skull shaped island, with skulls.

  24. That island is known in the local tongue as “Isla De Tu Madre”. “The Place of the Whores”.

  25. Uses Powerball money to buy shirts for Jew.

  26. Finances CoAls SciFi book.

  27. Buys chickens for everyone!!!

  28. Chickens sound like a lot of work. I’ll pass.

  29. **buys Oso decoder rings for Mare**

  30. I rather like Rhode Island Reds. Very tasty and good layers.

  31. Buys Mare meat up for Cabal. Mare J meat up for the rest of us.

  32. Beard Update–Day 71: Nobody tells you how much having a cold sucks when you have facial hair. My mustache is pretty gnarly right now.

  33. Here on the island, our scientists have combined genetics from a a dozen different types of sluts, whores, and tramps to create an entirely new species of superwhore. Luckily, we have her contained within what our security personnel call an “ultralounge”. We feed her a diet of frat boys and SoCo…

    OH GOD, SHE’S BROKEN FREE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

  34. Keeps your face warmer in cold weather, but I doubt you’re having any.

  35. Hey, you don’t understand his struggle. Last night it dropped down to sixty degrees. SIXTY! He barely survived.

  36. Here on the island, our scientists have combined genetics from a a dozen different types of sluts, whores, and tramps to create an entirely new species of superwhore. Luckily, we have her contained within what our security personnel call an “ultralounge”. We feed her a diet of frat boys and SoCo…

    Every monster has an origin story, this one is your mom’s.

  37. SoCo sucks.

  38. Look, assholes, I’m wearing a sweater OVER a long-sleeve T-shirt right now.

    #TheStruggleIsReal

  39. I live in the desert SW. Getting really tired of the sleet, snow, and gloom.

  40. We were in DL when the temps dropped into the 50s. We were wearing shorts. SoCals finest were in parkas and gloves.

  41. 68F in the house right now. Shorts and a t-shirt. 17F with 30 mph winds outside today. I was a little chilly in my windbreaker.

  42. I’ve been in SD for 2 rain outs. WTF!!! We were on Kaua’i for 2 tropical storms. Locals in jackets. True Story. Massive winds. No power. Dan is out on the beach with a flashlight on the coconut coast. I was livid.

  43. Wear socks with your sandals Seam. You will be quite toasty.

  44. 52 degrees and pissing rain all day.

  45. Wear socks with your sandals Seam. You will be quite toasty.

    And you might get the senior citizen’s discount at Denny’s.

  46. You pissed rain, Jim? Have you considered talking to a doctor?

    Sounds serious.

  47. SoCo sucks.

    According to the bathroom stall, so do the women who drink it.

  48. Haw!!!

  49. Hmm, what to buy with powerball winnings.

    How about a new show with wiser, wiserbud, and Tom Hill!

  50. J’ames is feeling feisty!!!

  51. I really have no idea what I would do with meeeeelyuns and meeeeeeelyuns of moneys.

    Probably not much. Just help everybody else. And I bet a large amount of the initial cash is spent securing your life and your family and trying to protect everybody you know from all the damn thieves, robbers, and hostage-takers.

  52. Those are goddamned lies and you know it, laura. You would spend the vast majority of that money on trying to murder me in various grisly ways. And gardening.

  53. Sean could watch Angel games with me. No gardening. I bet he’s rooting for the Hump. The devil you know is BS!

  54. Pffft. Best things in life are free. Wonderful memories, like keepsakes, nourish us forever.

    *gently flattens Sean between two enormous telephone books*

  55. MMM @550am.

  56. What is a telephone book? I don’t get it. (Wink wink nudge nudge)

  57. If I won the PowerBall jackpot, I’d try to set it up so that my descendants all received a million dollar payout subject to the following rules:

    1) They must be 30 years of age.
    2) They must have no unsecured debt greater than $10,000.
    3) They must have worked full time for the past six months.
    4) They must have a combined car and home loan of no more than $250,000. If they are married, this applies to their spouse as well.
    5) They must have no criminal or substance abuse issues for the past year.

  58. What is a telephone book? I don’t get it.

    If your name is in it, it means that you’re somebody.

  59. Some of us have desendents. Or potential. Some of us are all in for SMOD.

  60. No worries, your relatives will find you when you win

  61. I think I’d spend at least $10M making sure no one knew I had won. Not my friends, not my family, no one.

  62. Oh man, how much do you suppose SMOD would cost!?

  63. I’ll lawyer up. Try to keep Dan in check.

  64. I’d buy a big chunk of pretty land and keep everybody out. Penelope would want to travel. Don’t really want anything major.

  65. There are no telephones on Whore Island.

  66. I don’t get travel. I’m about bunkers and fortressing.

  67. SMOD is free. You just have to wait.

  68. Waiting sucks.

  69. It’s the hardest part.

  70. Texas ranch where the back patio is the firing line of the shooting range.

  71. I wonder how much of the UP I could buy.

  72. Did anybody preemptively write anybody else out of their will today?

  73. There is a new poat that seems to be awesome.

  74. Ha ha ha haaa! Simpatico, Leon. My mind inclines toward having a piece of wilderness.

    Well, for part of the year, anyway. And not quite so frozen.


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