Ham bone

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hambone

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Today’s post is brought to you by the Split Pea Association of America.

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#8: Flatulence

130 Comments

  1. Smells like a pigs ass up in here.

  2. I made the most awesome split pea soup last week. Much of it is frozen for future consumption.

  3. Pickled Pigs Feet is a food product I’ve never had the opportunity to ingest. Am I missing something good?

  4. I made the mistake of adding a pour of hot sauce into my split pea soup last week. When Paula was eating it she was all like “hot hot hot” while doing that thing with her mouth when you eat something too hot. After that I knew I’d be the only one eating anymore of it. I could taste the hot sauce but it was nowhere close to “too hot”.

    Big baby!

  5. I give this post 4 out of 5 swallows.

  6. *passes MJ a slightly moistened cigar*

    Light?

  7. Never thought of adding hot sauce to it …

    But way to insure no one eats your soup Jimbro. Well done.

  8. You should marinate your charger wires in hot sauce and wait for the mayhem

  9. Did I tell you I read the Starr report? Ho Lee Fuk. Bill Clinton is a total pig!

    Basically they’d kiss for a few mins then he’d whip it out and expect her to go down on him. Many times while he was on the phone. After the first few times she was convinced that he didn’t know her name.

    What kind of chick blows a dude thinking that he doesn’t care enough to remember her name?

    What kind of dude assumed whipping it out is a good first move?

    They’re all sickos but he was late 40s and she was early 20s so she gets a big of leeway.

  10. Oh, there has been GOOD NEWS on that front.

    My son bought four chargers yesterday. Good ones, not the crappy ones he kept buying that would work for a week. I’ve had my chargers returned to me this morning :)

  11. Awesome. Micheal Moore is weighing (SWIDT?) on the Flint water situation.

    I like how everyone has amnesia about why they left. They’re blaming Rick Synder now. Not the D’s controling FLint. No … It’s the R governor.

    @@

    I REMEMBER. Detroit was rising it’s prices for water and EVERYONE was trying to find an alternative. Detroit raised it’s prices – of course – because of decades of financial (and physical) mismanagement. Now … no one seems to know who made that decision … It’s a MYSTERY.

    It must have been RIck Synder – and he’s a criminal.

  12. I heard a report on NPR yesterday briefly mention the water situation and was surprised when they said the “state” made the switch. My limited reading about that led me to believe it was a local decision.

  13. Is the Starr report in the public (pubic?) domain? If so, can you link it?

  14. Yea – the state made the decision. @@. The State ok’ed it. No one wants to say they had ANYTHING to do with that situation.

    Liars.

  15. http://is.gd/3Qbd3Q

  16. That was rude. Here’s the link:

    http://is.gd/pu2agR

  17. It’s amazing what you uncover when you actually read something critical of a dem. It’s like the media didn’t cover it, or something.

    Imagine if an R had done that. If Packwood had done that, it would have been all over TMZ and the late night shows, not to mention The View with the other wannabe cigar aficionados.

  18. So the White House and the Pentagon have decided to open all combat arms MOS to women.

    My question is when are they going to modify the Selective Service registration requirements to include women 18 – 37?

  19. If I wanted a collegial environment where it was all a big happy circle jerk I wouldn’t be here MFJ

  20. “It’s” = “it is”, the possessive of “it” is “its”.

    And I remember reading the Starr report excerpts in the Michigan Review. What they could print of them, anyhow.

  21. Split pea soup is teh debil.

  22. Not sure if you guys saw this last night but Roamy was my Waffen Secret Santa and she got me an awesome apron for making drinks.

    I’m gonna put up a post this weekend with pics and what not. About a year ago she hooked me up with a truly spectacular biking jersey with the space shuttle on it that I’ll post too.

    No, I won’t be wearing bike shorts, you fegs.

  23. There seems to be little demand for liver cheese and bean soup anymore. That’s sad and is a testament to how far down Obama has taken our republic.

  24. No bike shorts? Pffft. Don’t bother.

  25. Liver cheese is all yours, clint.

  26. Liver alone, cheese mine.

    **how a Mexican stakes his claim to a woman**

  27. hambone sweets is pretty humorous –

    i used to see a lot of black stereotype stuff at auctions when i was hooked on the auction circuit in the 90’s.

    i wonder how much is still around – an interesting time in american art culture. prolly if you display any now you’re a racist or AfAm art gallery decrying teh man

  28. It’s still around and still sought after.

  29. My great aunt Janie has some of the most racist stuff you’ve ever seen.

    Her house is like a museum.

    My favorite was an advert for chewing tobacco with a huge mammy on a porch with all the stereotypical attributes. The caption is, ‘This sure am good tobacci!’

  30. Wow, Molly Hemingway hammers Obama’s gun control lie, and Politifact’s Mostly True rating:

    http://thefederalist.com/2016/01/06/obamas-claims-about-internet-gun-sales-are-completely-false/

  31. I bought a house in 1985, and found this in one of the cabinets. Don’t know what year it was from, but who the hell would send that as a Christmas card? LMAO.

  32. I’m gonna need a ruling on this

    On topic, Thorsday.

  33. Best Tokyo Drift movie EVAH!

  34. After careful review I have determined that Thor is now a transgender gay disney princess.

  35. When I was a kid in the 60s, my uncle gave us some licorice candy that was molded to look like little black babies.

    When we asked him what they were, he literally said ” babies”.

  36. WTF. Should say “(n-word) babies”.

  37. At one point the better half did the kitchen in “black mammy” , thankfully we have now moved on to chubby chef shit….

  38. Thanks for reading the Starr report for us, MJ (and recapping). Bill Clinton is a POS and so is his wife.

  39. I really liked that hambonning video. Very cool.

  40. WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA?

    A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, ‘I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.’ What type of bra?’ asked the clerk.

    ‘Type?’ inquires the man, ‘There’s more than one type?’
    ‘ Look around,’ said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
    ‘Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.’

    Relieved, the man asked about the types.

    The saleslady replied:
    ‘There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?’

    Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
    The Saleslady responded, ‘It is all really quite simple.’

    The Catholic type supports the masses;
    The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
    The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
    The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.

    Oh and

    Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used
    to define bra sizes?

    If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

    {A} Almost Boobs.
    {B} Barely there.
    {C} Can’t Complain.
    {D} Dang!
    {DD} Double dang!
    {E} Enormous!
    {F} Fake.
    {G} Get a Reduction.
    {H} Help me, I’ve fallen
    and I can’t get up!

    Send this to all that will appreciate it!

    oh They forgot the German bra.

    Holtzemfromfloppen!!

  41. Over Shoulder Bolder Holder.

  42. Bill is a weird dude. I think he expects to get his dick sucked because of who he is.

    That’s the definition of a sexual predator/harasser.

  43. Agree, MJ.

  44. “Liver alone, cheese mine”

    That made me laugh PG

  45. I read the blue dress entry on the report. That was enough. I think Trump is right to go after the perv. Sure as fuck no one else will.

  46. Fiorina hits one out of the park: “Oh, sure it’s fair game. Look, everything Bill Clinton has done fair game. He’s a former president. I just don’t think that’s the most effective way to beat Hillary Clinton. Because while all that was going on, there were a lot of women who felt, for whatever reason, great sympathy for Hillary Clinton. Look, if my husband were doing that, I would have left him. I wouldn’t have behaved the way Hillary Clinton did, and I would have apologized to all those women.””

  47. Time to get measured for a fat suit Carin

    http://is.gd/QgVglf

  48. http://www.weeklystandard.com/stranger-than-fiction-hollywood-gets-benghazi-right/article/2000445

    Seems they got 13 Hours right. Good job, Hollyweird (for once).

  49. I am only interested on the effect of waitress size and tips.

  50. Interesting read.

    If even half of that is true BLM and FWS should immediately be disbanded, and the employees involved imprisoned.

    I hate our fucking government.

  51. What I find so interesting is that the media/government employees are blind to the public’s hostility because they are on the inside of the scam.

    Marie Antoinette is the name that comes to mind.

  52. Example:

    Inequality is destroying the country.

    Can you please pass the butter? My taxpayer funded lobster was slightly overcooked.

    Oh fuck it. I’ll just order another one.

  53. Government employees (and unfortunately a LOT of workers) are so distant from the actual Capitalism of our system that they’ve lost focus/understanding – etc. They think that by just showing up – they’re earning their pay.

    I was esplaining to one of our younger employees that restaurant work – front of the house – is pure capitalism. Waitresses HATE it when it’s slow. Cooks love it.

    That pretty much sums it all up. Cooks don’t understand that they’re going to get laid off if the restaurant is slow for extended periods of time. Especially the mesicans.

  54. So – MJ I think i’ve decided upon my Garmin watch. I’m been bothering beasn about it for days – I’m sure she can’t wait until it’s done.

    Do you have one?

  55. Oh and I just ate some of my split pea soup.

    I need a dinner idea. I think I want just some yummy salad but my family is going to want something more substantial. Chicken breasts. GO

  56. I had one a few years back that helped me with pace, HR, and what not. Both for running and biking.

    I haven’t really needed it in the past year or so. I’m sure it’s somewhere.

    Now I just use an app on my phone, and a lot of the time I don’t track anything. I like the HR monitor the best but I don’t push nearly as hard as I used to.

    I’m training for a pretty tough race right now but I’m taking a different approach.

  57. I’m training for a pretty tough race right now but I’m taking a different approach.

    https://youtu.be/pFrMLRQIT_k

  58. I am only interested on the effect of waitress size and tips.

    I am only interested in the size of the waitress’s tits tips.

  59. Someone leave the fucking door unlocked again?

  60. “Some old dude walks into a bar …..”

    Did it hurt, Hotspur?

  61. Hey AD, good to see ya

  62. Just read HS’s link about the ranch. Illuminating. I had no idea of the back story and it makes me want to go all montage on someone.

  63. Now I just use an app on my phone, and a lot of the time I don’t track anything. I like the HR monitor the best but I don’t push nearly as hard as I used to.

    I have an app on my phone but it’s too much of a pita to use. Plus it uses my data …

    I’d rather have something on my wrist I could just quickly glance at. Plus the HR thing really helps with everything.

  64. http://is.gd/iCD0fT

  65. Open faced Roast Turkey Bacon Swiss Sandwich with gravy.

    Mah bar bay!

  66. My work computer is down, all my neighbors are out of town, I have nobody to play with and nothing to do. I have nothing to live for. Say something to cheer me up before I shake off this mortal coil.

  67. 12 mo countdown to inauguration.

  68. Immigrant Sex Gangs on the prowl.

  69. Your choices for a Democratic candidate for president are a dirty old hag and Hillary Clinton…

  70. Read a book, Paul. I recommend “Grow or Die” by David the Good.

  71. This would require effort. I have no effort.

  72. Ambition

    Sex starved German Fraulines repeatedly rent thier clothing vieing for attention from well ordered groups of recently areived German Citizens from Greater Asia.

  73. 51 days to TITS2, Paul.

  74. Boing

  75. Six trivia questions to see how much history you really know.

    Who said it?

    1) “We’re going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”

    A. Karl Marx B. Adolph Hitler C. Joseph Stalin
    D. Barack Obama E. None of the above

    2) “It’s time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few… and to replace it with shared responsibility, for shared prosperity.”

    A. Lenin B. Mussolini C. Idi Amin
    D. Barack Obama E. None of the above

    3) “(We)…. can’t just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people.”

    A. Nikita Khrushchev B. Joseph Goebbels C. Boris Yeltsin
    D. Barack Obama E. None of the above

    4) “We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give up a little bit of their own … in order to create this common ground.”

    A. Mao Tse Tung B. Hugo Chavez C. Kim Jong II
    D. Barack Obama E. None of the above

    5) “I certainly think the free-market has failed.”

    A. Karl Marx B. Lenin C. Molotov
    D. Barack Obama E. None of the above

    6) “I think it’s time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched.”

    A. Pinochet B. Milosevic C. Saddam Hussein
    D. Barack Obama E. None of the above

  76. All D(iT)

  77. Taken as a whole, it would appear that the person making the utterances has socialist / communist tendency’s

    SAT CONG!

  78. Back from a funeral in the winter in the rain.

  79. All D(iT)

    bzzzzt!

    Try again

  80. All E. But it wasn’t John McCain, Mitt Romney, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, Woodrow Wilson, or JFK. Who could it be?

    Must be Bush’s fault.

  81. “We’re going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”

    This statement by XXX was not (as commonly assumed) addressed to the general public, but rather to a group of relatively well-to-do XXX attending a XXX fundraiser for XXX senator xxx. XXX statement specifically referred to a desire to repeal tax cuts that had recently been enacted by the XXX administration, cuts which many XXX had criticized as favoring the wealthy:

  82. (1) E. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/2004

    (2) E. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/2007

    (3) E. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007

    (4) E. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007

    (5) E. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007

    (6) E. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/2005

  83. That was a good one, wiser. I love how snopes is covering for her.

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/clintons/marxist.asp

  84. None of the above said all of those things, the bitch.

  85. refresh

  86. http://freebeacon.com/politics/sanders-and-wife-steered-campaign-nonprofit-money-to-family-and-friends/

    So Bernie runs a campaign, and pays family members. this will go nowhere.

  87. 51 days to TITS2, Paul

    Now you’re talking!

  88. Snopes is impressive in their use of bullshit to cover their beloved Hillary’s ass.

    “…but they have all been stripped of any explanatory context, ”

    Mmmmm hmmmmm……

  89. >>>>So Bernie runs a campaign, and pays family members. this will go nowhere.

    Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work? Really, is anyone surprised that a guy who has spent his entire life living on the taxpayers’ dime thinks the system works?

  90. Yeah, saw that context comment. No, I think it pretty much means what she said. Using big words doesn’t work when people understand them.

  91. Well, to be fair, socialists think the government should run everything, so he’s being consistent.

    Notice he hasn’t said he’s a socialist lately.

  92. That’s why Chris Matthews stumped her when he asked her what the difference was between Democrats and Socialists.

  93. Always an ironic chuckle when socialists horde money for themselves. All socialist leaders somehow end up rich. Really weird isn’t it?

    Oh and eff them sideways with something in Hotspur’s construction trailler.

  94. Wiser, I hope you put that on Twitter…excellent!

  95. Evening.

  96. Evening, Jew!

  97. I bought some “beef bacon” a couple of weeks ago and cooked some of it today. Not bad, but not bacon.

  98. http://is.gd/GaYkmz

  99. Did anybody realize how petty anybody else was about their money-back guarantee when they received a box full of pennies in the mail today?

  100. I bought some “beef bacon” a couple of weeks ago and cooked some of it today. Not bad, but not bacon.

    Was it anything like Sizzlean? I miss that stuff.

  101. More like really thin chipped beef. I never had sizzlean.

    Opossum in the barn when I went out to feed the horses. I didn’t feel like chasing it with the hatchet, so it got yelled at a lot. I’ll have to set the trap tomorrow morning with some raisins, no apples in the house at the moment. If I don’t catch it tomorrow, it’ll have to wait until Sunday night. I’ve got the baby all weekend and I can’t really take her out with me to drown the pest in the pond.

  102. I’ve got the baby all weekend and I can’t really take her out with me to drown the pest in the pond.

    Why not? It’ll be a good father-daughter bonding experience. Just strap her into the Baby Bjorn and get to work.

  103. I really need both hands free and full mobility to drown the thing in the pond and then dump it in a bag for the trash bin. It’d be tough to do when I’m carrying her in the Ergobaby.

  104. Just in case anyone ever assumed I was exaggerating the disgusting arrogance of one of my relatives-by-marriage, you simply must read this infuriating pile of shit.

    http://milaatmos.com/blog/2015/12/29/christmas-presents-unnecessary

    Feel free to leave comments and please share this self-absorbed Gwyneth Paltrow-wannabe twat’s humble-brag tripe.

  105. I’d want to keep my daughter as far away from a vicious weasel as possible. And that’s why I’d cover her ears and eyes (safety first) and blast it with a rifle from a distance.

  106. Stuff for TITS2 and the blog is ready to buy:
    http://www.cafepress.com/theh2

    If you don’t see a product or shirt you want the way that you want it, let me know and I’ll add it. Errything priced to cover store costs only at three percent.

    Have at it!

  107. Wiser, I’m all for her taking whatever overseas trip she wants at Christmas, just so her whiny ass won’t spoil the holiday for the rest of us. If she stays home, get her another pair of elk socks, this time two sizes too small.

  108. She can shoot the next one.

  109. http://is.gd/poster_for_Lauraws_coop

  110. ->>>Wiser, I’m all for her taking whatever overseas trip she wants at Christmas,…..

    We’ve not missed her. Bitch didn’t even show up for Granny’s funeral, and her reception was held on Granny’s front lawn.

    Her husband, Granny’s grandson, had to leave her memorial service to drive two hours to pick up their kids from Kennedy Airport, as they were returning from their trip to Indonesia and God forbid she, who was, at the time, partying with her friends in NYC, stop and get them herself.

    She couldn’t even be bothered to send a limo for them because inconvenient….

  111. Shooting opossums isn’t worth it. I’ve got a live trap in case I accidentally catch the barn cat, and the pond isn’t frozen. The whole affair of killing the things after I’ve caught them is quiet and bloodless. A gun might be less scary for the animal, but it’s icy water, and it’s over in seconds. Shooting it means shooting it in the trap — which could damage the trap — or letting it go and risking a missed shot or just wounding it.

    She’d be at no real risk other than the chance of me tripping while I’m walking in the pond to get the trap in and out, but even that’s too much.

  112. Pupster, I take a certain perverse pride in knowing that the closest living relative of the T-rex is a completely domesticated flightless bird so dumb that it occasionally dies by forgetting to flap when falling 4′.

  113. Reading Wiser’s inlaw made me think of this clip. 30 seconds in.

  114. Sure you do.

  115. Drowning them only kills them temporarily.

  116. If I was “The Donald”, I would buy this painting:

    Yeah, it will embed. Fuck it…

  117. Honestly, I usually drop it in the pond, go back to the house, brew a pot of coffee (this always happens in the morning thus far), drink one entire cup of coffee, then go back out to wrangle the trap. I drop the varmint into a plastic bag, tie it off, and drop it in the trash bin.

    If it survives that, I’m fucked anyhow.

  118. Shirt ordered~!

  119. From Wiser’s link:

    ” Mila believes that conscious choices allow for life to be experienced with ease and elegance.”

    =======

    Evidently I’ve made the wrong choices ’cause my life is a helluva fight most of the time.

  120. Shirt ordered~!

    Squeeeee! I’ve started filling my cart with my “want” items.

    Mousepad, drink tumbler, and a few other new items added.

  121. Mila believes that conscious choices allow for life to be experienced with ease and elegance.

    This will be news to about 5 billion of the planet’s human inhabitants.

    She’s in desperate need of a few third-world problems.

  122. She’s not nearly pretty enough to live a life paid for and worked for by others.

  123. Another lovely night sitting short call in Lincoln, IL.

    Trying to stay awake until robot chicken comes on.

  124. Ordered a shirt.

    Still not sure if I’ll be able to make it.

  125. The guys get shirts.

    The girls… don’t need them.

  126. Order a flask.

    or… Order A flask.

  127. Cynny, can I order shot glasses with just the Man Down guy in the crosswalk on them?

  128. Next to all of the Chadism’s, the man down in the crosswalk was the most hilarious thing from TITS.

    Well, the cards against humanity game hosted by wiser was more funny, but the other things were random and spontaneous.

    I miss you guys/gals and I hope I can get out there.

  129. Look, Phat, just steal a 737 and fly to PHX. It’s important.

  130. Just let it flow
    Colours shining clear
    Fading into night
    Our derp is broken


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