Stolen from the Sunday book thread

I hadn’t seen Longmire before. These are great takes on bodice-rippers. More at http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/
gimme

mcmullet

taller
There, new poatiness.

168 Comments

  1. Does Wal-Mart stock these books?

  2. Looks just like me.

  3. The red dress is quite fetching, MJ. Macy’s?

  4. Bloomies. They carry size 22+.

  5. Woo hoo. Customer asked me to throw away a bunch of stuff he doesn’t want.

    Found a limited edition wood carving that retailed for $600

  6. Footballs is on.

    Someone (I think Lauraw?) linked Larry Correia at Monster Hunter Nation dot com after San Bernardino,

    http://monsterhunternation.com/2015/12/03/guns-and-vultures/

    and after I read his ‘about me’ page I bought some of his books. I read his first Monster Hunter book and it left me kind of meh, but I read another 2 books in a series called The Grimnoir Chronicles and enjoyed them very much, even though science fiction / dark fantasy is not really my thing.

    He’s kind of an interesting guy, and the Grimnoir books are written in the hard-boiled detective style I like, but with magic and stuff.

  7. So, this book is in the AoSHQ book thread. Pretty sure I know the author.

    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B019I0FDB8/?tag=aoshq-20

  8. I’m sitting on my ass today.
    (not really – I’ve already cleaned the house and I have BIG PLANS today.)

    I wonder what would happen if car in was forced to sit on her ass for a full day. Probably some type of convulsions and uncontrollable slobbering.

  9. Xbrad, is that gay porn? talking about bears and shit.

  10. No, it’s specifically targeted at bored housewives.

  11. Well at least we know one of Sean’s pen names….

  12. Bloody hell, Amazon’s going to be sending me recommendations for werebear smut now.

  13. Admit it, Roamy, you downloaded the kindle version.

  14. http://is.gd/QOrU2f

  15. Pretty sure I know the author.

    Dan?

  16. Bloody hell, Amazon’s going to be sending me recommendations for werebear smut now.

    You can edit your search/click history in your Amazon profile.

  17. I can’t wait for prezzy to get back from Hawaii and throw down some new executive orders. That way I don’t have to hear any more about the Muslim slaughterfests. And the next time I go to DC or Chicago I won’t feel like I need to be back at the hotel by sundown. And I can go to Baltimore. That’s been on my bucket list but seemed a little dangerous up til now.

  18. Leon, thank you. Now I can quit getting emails for the USB pet rock.

  19. I always suspected she was kind of a whore.

  20. Welcome Roamy. I had to use it after someone linked me this.

    Link is not… well, if you’re dumb enough to click that in context, you get what you deserve.

  21. Carrie Fisher didn’t mention that she still does, did she?

  22. I’d probably still hit it.

  23. I kinda liked the look of Carrie fisher’s mama, myself.

  24. Friend has been talking about going out to dinner together all year long, finally went out last night. I made the mistake of picking the restaurant. They were slammed, we ended up in the normally closed-off party room, it took 20 minutes for the room to warm up enough for us to take our coats off, and a hour and a half for dinner to arrive.

    I don’t know if it’s the same for them – but we’ve been incredibly busy for the last two weeks straight. Most restaurants can’t hire extra people to get them through the holidays. Not that I think you should tip well if it’s not deserved, just explaining why they may have been sub par. I was slammed yesterday but I refuse to give anyone bad service. I made bank.

    We’ve had a bunch of no-shows the last few days as well which makes it so much harder on the responsible folks who show up to work. I was stuck in the bar by myself – but when I got too slammed I had other people take the tables.

  25. I wonder what would happen if car in was forced to sit on her ass for a full day. Probably some type of convulsions and uncontrollable slobbering.

    I might be able to do it – but I’d probably be the meanist bitch you knew by the end of the day.

  26. *tips Car in 2 bits

  27. Dayum, so you were bartending AND waiting?

    *tips 2 more bits

  28. Those romance novel names at the link made me lol….in my pants.

  29. Alex, I embedded that on Monday.

  30. It’s still funny but I’m not watching it again.

  31. Colex, my youngest daughter is trying to figure out how to make a living in the personal fitness business. She’s currently working as a trainer in a yuppie gym. She’ll love the shit out of this. Especially the clean up afterwards part.

  32. I generally find the content of this website to be a bit over the top with their alarmist rhetoric. They’ve been predicting an imminent worldwide financial meltdown for at least 5 years now and it keeps getting put off. I have no doubt that it’s coming, but it doesn’t appear to be on their timetable.

    At any rate, I ran across this rant today and it pretty much hits a lot of topics that I’ve thought about in a shallow way and hits them deep. It’s worth your time, I think.

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-01-03/one-americans-rage-spills-over-dear-liberal-heres-why-im-so-hostile

  33. Zerohedge is basically a guy reading the “Money” section of USA Today on a street corner while wearing a giant sign that reads “DOOM”. He’s bound to be right eventually, but the timing is sketchy.

  34. That article was quite good. I don’t know about his economic prognostications, but he hit that out of the park.

  35. I have no doubt that it’s coming, but it doesn’t appear to be on their timetable.

    Agreed

  36. Carin, I would hope that if you had customers waiting an hour and a half for food, you’d make sure the drinks were taken care of and maybe a basket of bread or two on the table. You also wouldn’t drop off the food and disappear.

  37. What I think happened was that she didn’t put the order in until we asked about the food after an hour went by, because she came back and told us they were out of potatoes, what would we like for a substitute.

  38. When my wife and I first moved to our current shithole dump, we went to the Mexican restaurant that everybody told us was the best in town. This young skinny boy brought us some tea and a basket of chips and a bowl of salsa. He offered to refill our drinks and our chips about 4 times over the course of about 30 minutes before I finally gave up on being nice and asked him if they had anything else on the menu besides chips and salsa because we hadn’t seen one yet. Turned out it was his first day on the job and he’d been so intent on keeping out chip and salsa supply going that he’d completely forgotten about getting us a menu to look at. By then, I was so stuffed on chips that I just paid for our teas and hit the road. Cheapest date evah.

  39. I found a recipe for Car in http://is.gd/CMEEus

  40. One time my dad asked Mom out on a hot lunch date. I thought it was super cute. Later I found out he took her to Sam’s Club and they ate the free samples handed out by lunch ladies in the grocery section.

  41. I read 4 of the authors at the Longmire site, just not the genres on the cover. Except Margaret Moore. I may have that book. I read the Kenyon shapeshifter books. Not the BBW. NTTAWWT. I think it was a douche move. We don’t all read the same stuff. No reason to try to fat-shame and ridicule women. IMHO.

  42. Actually, I took a date to a place and said, “Order what you like. It’s on me.”. He ordered a $12 margarita and I said, ” Fuck that. He can have a Bud draft.”. I don’t recall a second date with that fellow.

  43. #cheapdatestories

  44. I LOL every time I see the “BBW romance” where the male love interest is a Chris Hemsworth clone with Trump’s bank account. It’s the fat chick equivalent of the super-hot college girl being into middle-aged bald guys.

  45. Jewstin, we have SOOOO many people that come in for the hotdog combo and all the demos! Policy was associates couldn’t have demos unless they were off the clock. New Fresh GM encourages us to try new products and Demos. We have 4 bags of Panera sourdough bread bowls in our freezer because of demos.

  46. I found a recipe for Car in http://is.gd/CMEEus

    This is why the internets where invented, that is the most awesomest thing I have ever seen since My Drunk Kitchen.

  47. Panera bread is yum. I haven’t had that since I lived in Atlanta. They had a sourdough that was fantastic.

  48. the super-hot college girl being into middle-aged bald guys.

    IT COULD HAPPEN YOU DON’T KNOW

    *runs upstairs and slams door*

  49. Greetings, people who are already waiting for 2017 to get here.

  50. Jew, we had it in our freezer section as a One Time Buy. Panera Sourdough Bread+KerryGold Butter=the diabeetus!!!!

  51. Sean, there are a few 2016 movies I need to see first

  52. the super-hot college girl being into middle-aged bald guys.

    IT COULD HAPPEN YOU DON’T KNOW

    Okay, let’s say it happens to you. Odds that she’s:

    1) Paid bait to see if you’ll cheat or to get blackmail on you.
    or
    2) So crazy with daddy issues that she’ll probably boil your pets.

    Are so high that you should probably decline.

  53. I recall an episode of Friends when Joey and Chandler had a free porn channel. Chandler was horrified after going to the bank and the hot teller didn’t even hit on him.

  54. Speaking of Wilford Brimley

    http://is.gd/z7DxA0

    Someone alert MJ.

  55. 1) Paid bait to see if you’ll cheat or to get blackmail on you.

    You have to have money to be blackmailed.

    or

    2) So crazy with daddy issues that she’ll probably boil your pets.

    Not seeing the downside here.

    Are so high that you should probably decline.

    Still not seeing the downside.

  56. WTF is going on in Oregon?

  57. Dammit Mare! I had a good link on the twitter. BRB let me see if I can find it.

  58. NOOOOOO! I guess the Hammonds did time for setting a backfire to stop a wildfire and a Federal Judge recently resentenced them as terrorists. Supporters are “Occupying” a visitor center on what used to be private land. One of the Bundy’s showed up. Oathkeepers are headed to Oregon. Libs want the Feds to drone the protestors. TCU came from behind and kicked Oregon ass.

  59. WTF is going on in Oregon?

    Beavers.

  60. Nice summary Crazy Bear.

    http://is.gd/KT4JzM

  61. There is a rancher here battling the BLM? EPA? Either way they insist his irrigation pond is blocking a navigable waterway. The stream might be inches deep on his property. No boat will ever navigate that waterway.

  62. Jew, fuckers found some meadow mouse that no one ever heard of, but a few ranch families are unable to water their cattle now. EPA/BLM and Sierra Club are in cahoots to put American ranchers out of business.

  63. You’d let a hot piece of tail boil Nessie? 4Reelz?

  64. Okay, let’s say it happens to you. Odds that she’s:
    1) Paid bait to see if you’ll cheat or to get blackmail on you.
    or
    2) So crazy with daddy issues that she’ll probably boil your pets.
    Are so high that you should probably decline.

    3) She needs to pass Geometry in order to get a diploma but can’t figure out what all those poco numeros mean on her protractor.

  65. 3) She needs to pass Geometry in order to get a diploma but can’t figure out what all those poco numeros mean on her protractor.

    Dammit. I’d fall for that.

  66. Be doing some life based instruction on the manipulation of twin hemispheres and shit.

  67. I don’t think they make a boiler that big. She ain’t no bunny.

  68. So, back in October, DHS said our Real ID waiver would not be renewed. We were told we needed passports to fly. Jedi dems said it had nothing to do with illegals getting NM DLs and IDs. New Mexicans went crazy and started lambasting DC. Especially Democrats. Huge uptick of NM citizens getting passports. Hispanic and Black democrats are pissed that they need to spend $200 to travel because of “Messicans”. Some low level DHS turd said we can still travel on NM issued DL/ID. 2016. I hope a TSA turd grounds a NM Dem flying on a state issued DL. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

  69. Even better, my mom’s passport expired when she was in a coma. She was born at home. Has no BC. No registration of birth. She used to go to Mexico for dental and prescriptions. Can’t get a passport. Bwah ha ha.

  70. I never fly out of NM anyway. Now I have a good reason not to. Hobbs is closer to mi casa than Midland, but it’s way more expensive. No SWA in Hobbs.

  71. Hispanic and Black democrats are pissed that they need to spend $200 to travel because of “Messicans”.

    The important thing is that they can vote without having to show ID. A bunch of times, even!

  72. The Donald is very popular with Hispanic and Black dems, because of his RAYCISS assault on illegals. Trump/Carson would beat any shit the D-rats throw at us. All anecdotal

  73. Thanks, Hostages.

  74. This is what change looks like, Mare.

  75. For the NorthEastern cabal. No one else look.

    Unlike what your mom says, I’m sorry about the length.

  76. Well fuck, I thought it was gonna just be a URL link. OK, you can all look if you want. I just thought it was interesting.

  77. It made me laugh.

  78. I need to research the situation. Private property rights are supreme to me. That is why property taxes are wrong to me. You NEVER really own your property. I would rather see a tax higher somewhere else if it meant you could truly own your property.

    Really, I don’t know what’s happening in Oregon. It’s such a dumb ass place I need to read before ranting.

  79. Think about how we were taught history. John Brown? Terrorist or martyr? At what point do we stand up to tyranny? As He lived to make men holy let us die to make men free.

  80. Mare, I would love to say Sean’s link about white Oregon didn’t influence me. I can’t. I would love to say that federal encroachment didn’t influence me, I can’t.

  81. OMG Treacher finally followed me on Twitter. The new phone book is out!!!

  82. Damn, Treacher doesn’t follow me on Twitter, and people think I’m his sockpuppet.

  83. IowaHawk replied to an email from me once. About six or seven years ago. I probably should’ve framed it.

  84. I possess the DNA of Glenn Reynolds.

  85. Gross.

  86. Yuck.

  87. Sean, you two shared the funneh. I’m still SQUEEEEE

  88. I been waitin’ all day for the last Sunday Niiiight.

  89. **goes to twitter to follow oso**

    **waits in vain for squeeeeee**

    Don’t worry about it oso, I’ve got a lot of experience with female neglect. Seriously, I’m ok with it.

  90. Did you find me?

  91. uhhhmmm…..what’s your twitter name?

  92. Carin, I would hope that if you had customers waiting an hour and a half for food, you’d make sure the drinks were taken care of and maybe a basket of bread or two on the table. You also wouldn’t drop off the food and disappear.

    I flipped on the kitchen when something ran 30 minutes. SERIOUSLY? ga. I gave them a free drink and showed them my slip to PROVE that I rang their food in. They were regulars and starting to get irritated. They gave me a nice big tip.

    So no. It wouldn’t have that happen to me. None of what you described.

  93. &osoloco. Connie Gorton. I’m friends with most Hostage/Moron accts

  94. Oh, Jose Bautista and other baseball players

  95. “gave them a free drink and showed them my slip”

    Good plan.

  96. I figured it out. We’re now a couple. In a digital next door state kind of a way.

  97. Dayum, so you were bartending AND waiting?

    *tips 2 more bits

    Yep. During the day I get the whole bar area. 6 booths and 3 high tops.

  98. Oh hey, it’s Monday tomorrow.

    I… I have to go back to work… in Dearborn… in less than 10 hours.

  99. You should stop doing that.

  100. I followed you first!!!! You need to post moar!

  101. I have every intention of doing so. Nothing was going to happen with potential future bossman until this week, but I’m hopeful that things will start to accelerate. I’d like to be gone before annual bonuses come out, because otherwise I’ll feel like a total parasite.

  102. NM has traditionally been TX playground. Looks like a banner year for TX tourists.

  103. I’m just now starting to kinda halfassed figure this twit shit out.

  104. No offense but I generally drive through NM to Pagosa Springs. We’ve got friends up there who run an ATV/Snowmobile business.

  105. I don’t twit. I have an account but I rarely check it. I’m not pithy enough.

  106. Leon,

    Good luck. I’ve got a call with HR tomorrow to discuss moving to a different contract. Two weeks until The List comes out and we find out who’s staying and who’s going. I expect to be one of the ones cut.

  107. Isn’t twitter pretty much made for chicken pictures and workout discussion?

  108. Really? I’ll check it out tomorrow …

  109. O M G I love Pagosa. CO is usually more of a California playground.

  110. Pagosa is too far away from the Denver airport to attract many Calis. When I’ve skied at Wolf Creek it’s always been hugely us suave, debonair Texans and a lot of Oklahoma rednecks. :)

  111. Carin, will Detroit ever recover or is it destined to be a shithole for our entire lifetime?

  112. Ha! They are beyond recovery.

  113. I’ve been watching youtubes on chicken coop construction for the last two hours.
    Forgot the advice you guys gave me about what is a good book to get on keeping chickens.

    Tractor Supply chick days are nearly upon us. It’s hopeless. This will never happen.

  114. Thanks Alex.

    Storey’s Guide to Keeping Chickens, Laura. Don’t buy chicks until April, you’ve got time to get some reading and building done. I can send coop pics if that would help.

  115. Also, good luck with a lateral move. I managed to dodge a few layoffs doing that.

  116. Wolf Creek. I have stories!!!BD. (Before Dan)

  117. “coop pics”

  118. Wait, April might be too late. I bought my chicks in mid March from a local feed mill after they already had feathers so I could be sure that they were pullets.

  119. You bought your chicks in the Ukraine.

  120. Willis, actually.

  121. “chicks”

  122. Yes to coop pics! I’m ordering Storey’s from Amazon right damn now. This next couple weeks will be my last chance at reading anything other than textbooks for months.

  123. BBW chicks or regular? Cunt poster at the HQ wants to know?

  124. I’m still pissed about the book thread. Not the first time. Ace is the only one that can mock genres. The cunt from Oregon…NOPE.

  125. Black Sex Links and one Rhode Island Red. I’ll email pics after I find your email in the archives.

  126. If I didn’t understand chicky chicky speak, I’d call you freaks a bunch of LOSERS!

  127. Gah, now Penelope is on Facechimp, so now I get “Why did you like that pic?” “You shouldn’t have said that…” Grrrrr.

  128. Hahaha Do you want us to friend “Penelope”? I agree that you shouldn’t tag people with spider pics. Unless it is XB.

  129. Bedtime. MMM@558.

  130. Also, good luck with a lateral move. I managed to dodge a few layoffs doing that.

    Even if I survive this round I’m out. I’ve been here three years and I’m getting bored. Plus, I want to expand my knowledge and capabilities beyond defense contracting at some point.

    I figure if I get laid off, between my final paycheck at the end of February and my refund, I’ll be able to last until May. Hopefully by that point I’ll have the El Paso house sold, which would provide me with enough to last three or four months more. Plenty of time to find work. Heck, I may just go back to school full time.

  131. End of February blah blah TITS2. Am I missing something?

  132. lauraw
    ===

    ===
    tips, no punctuation
    @

    hot
    **
    mail

  133. Don’t friend Penelope. Arrrrgh!

    Although I do show her a lot of your posts, Oso.

  134. According to the town whoosies, I can only have 7 chix.

  135. I guess what is pissing me off so much about today’s book thread is the snarky otherization of women that read paranormal fiction. 5 days a week, Ace is fighting the good fight. Come Sunday, some woman hating cunt in Oregon gets to make fun of fat women that read books. Well played, HQ. Well played.

  136. And our predator situation is off the hook. Fishers, raccoons, owls, hawks, eagles, foxes, coyotes, dogs. We have them all. Bears are here too but not seen in our neighborhood. But I woudn’t expect a coop that could survive a bear attack. Well, not without remote-control machine guns.

  137. Ha! We are getting coyote sightings posted to our HOA site. Local predators are treating us all like BHO. I can hear their voices on the wind: Pussy!!!!

  138. I’m going to bed. Every now and then I get a gut punch from a Moron. Racial or anti-fem. Today, it was the book thread. I’m taking a step back. Very angry.

  139. Well Oso, guys *never* read for pure bubblegum scintillating otherworldly entertainment.

    Oh, hello, comic books. Never mind what I just said.

  140. I <3 Comic books/graphic novels. I don't make fun of what they read. Have some respect for my bookshelf. (I've had run ins with this ass on social media before. He is not Ace.)

  141. This isn’t the place to bash COBS.

  142. I haven’t been keeping up with much bloggy stuff. Why do you call OM woman-hating?

  143. Is he a cob? I thought he was a weekend guest blogger? Sorry, I am so out of the loop at this point.

  144. Did anybody wonder if it was actually safe to decline anybody else’s invitation to join their coven today?

  145. It’s a Madhaus,

  146. No, Sean. I knew it was safe to decline. My coven is far more powerful.

  147. I thought weekend guest bloggers were cobs!!! He has a tendency to piss me off.

  148. They aren’t, and in the past the difference was in the byline. But again, I don’t know for sure what or if anything has changed in that regard.

  149. I can’t explain it. Every now and then, I feel comments as a kick in the gut. Not here. I love you guys. There are Morons that my gut says are racist. IMHO Trump isn’t, but a lot of his followers are.

  150. We were praising you and FIAF on FB. Mostly Bama and Mesa.

  151. AUGH!!! My Tia is posting about open carry now. Bitch has a 5 bedroom home talking about refugees, now she’s talking about 2A rights. Deep cleansing breath.

  152. Racism is so visceral. You guys make me laugh. Nothing to see here. There are people at the H2 and in groups that set my radar off.

  153. Look at my avatar. Of COURSE I’m not racist.

    Oso is just being silly now.

  154. I don’t like Hungarians. There, I’ve said it.

  155. Shanagans!!

  156. I’m not particularly fond of the Portu–

    You know, never mind.

  157. I’ll admit to making fun of romance novels, but I expect people to make fun of my reading, and I’ve developed a thicker skin over the years.

  158. And to be fair, the specific genre of romance novel being discussed was pretty outlandish.

  159. Turns out, I don’t know the author of the BBWBearPron. My friend does, though.

  160. A.A.Milne

  161. Chumpo FTW.

  162. *graciously accepts FTW award*

    **moons the cameras**

  163. I feel uptight
    When I walk in the city
    I feel so cold
    When I’m at home

    Feels like everything’s
    Starting to hit me
    I lost my derp
    Ten minutes ago


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