MMM: Christmas hangover edition

As we close out 2015, if you’re anything like me (pro-tip: more than you like to admit) you’re starting the day bloated, headachy, dehydrated, and hoping work won’t suck today. I don’t have to go to my Real Job, but I’ve got a pasture full of standing water that needs some drainage dug before the horses have to walk on ice and potentially file a workman’s comp claim. I’m really hoping that doesn’t suck. Or at least doesn’t suck my boots off my feet and leave me sockfooted in the mud.

Pepe linked this the other day and I liked it.
o4ut275

Attention, dull-affect big boobed girls: this is what you should be doing:
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Triptych.
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Dressed for the harsh, Michigan winter. Hat, see?
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Triptych too.
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The kettlebells actually make this easier. With enough shoulder mobility you can do it from the floor on your bare hands. I can do these on my fists but not on my palms. Not quite there yet.
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Christian or just an ancient Roman execution method enthusiast?
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Nice deck.
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Good hip mobility.
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Not pictured: highly motivational shark in water below.
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Pictured: a swimsuit you can’t swim in.
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Not sure what the gloves are about here. Maybe her hands were cold.
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COFFEE TIME.

142 Comments

  1. And the day begins.

  2. Wakey wakey.

    Yes I have mostly wood and laminate floors. We want to carpet the big room downstairs to make it more cozy. I want a berber or something that’s going to last. Dark so it doesn’t show every spot.

  3. I’m not sure I really understand the point of these posts.

  4. Never see these gals in Wal-Mart. Please explain.

  5. Blerg. 4 degrees here this morning. The fun never stops…….

  6. I’m not sure I really understand the point of these posts.

    Funnier every time I read it. It didn’t start off all that funny, but it’s growing on me.

  7. Terrible, too early for those kinds of temps.

  8. It’s 31 here. Almost like winter.

  9. Girl in one of my classes is shaped like the last MMM girl up there. She hates her body and thinks her hips are too wide.

  10. Category: Emily’s Dull Affect You’re going to love my nuts!

    Ha! Good one, Leon.

  11. The hips don’t lie.

  12. What’s this about having some sort of “weather” today?

  13. http://comedywildlifephoto.com/?page_id=36

  14. Girl in one of my classes is shaped like the last MMM girl up there. She hates her body and thinks her hips are too wide.

    Please tell her that she would be loved and adored by any man worth having. I’m not even kidding, the amount of free testosterone in a man’s bloodstream correlates with the shape of woman he finds most attractive. High T => wide hips and bust, Low T => thigh-gapped waifs.

    Sorry fat chicks.

  15. Comment by lauraw on December 28, 2015 8:56 am

    Girl in one of my classes is shaped like the last MMM girl up there. She hates her body and thinks her hips are too wide.
    ========

    Women are nuts and neurotic………

  16. Feel free to show her this poat as evidence of her incorrectedness.

  17. What does anyone know about carpet tile?

    I’m thinking something like this: http://www.houzz.com/photos/1096150/Play-Room-contemporary-home-gym-seattle

  18. *succumbs to his inner 13 yr old**

    Carpet Tile?? I goes down as easy as yer mum!

  19. Sometimes I think Leon is just trolling us with Cliff Clavenesque bullshit.

  20. RE: cross tattoo

    Maybe she’s just a GnR fan?

  21. Sometimes I think Leon is just trolling us with Cliff Clavenesque bullshit.

    Rarely deliberately. I read broadly and find things about both human attraction and testosterone especially interesting. If I were really trolling, they’d be pretty obviously false but still sound plausible, like when I talk about nailing about your mom.

  22. I don’t know what to believe. On the one hand, I’ve met leon and know that he’s literally a troll. Possibly a dwarf, whatever. Stout and peckish.

    On the other hand, he sounds like he knows stuff.

    On the other hand, I don’t trust correlation because it’s misleading.

  23. I do live under the bridge, so I’m a troll that way too.

  24. …thigh-gapped waifs

    Schwing!

  25. Geoff, have you talked to your doctor about TRT? It’s not too late.

  26. Topical:

  27. I prefer home therapy, looking at TGWs.

  28. Ok. Everyone nixed the carpet tile. I ordered a berber.

    Bad news – I think I’ve chosen redoing a few rooms of my house over going to TITS.

  29. Belated Merry Christmas, everyone.

    Busy weekend.

  30. Carin, that’s bullshit. Fucking bullshit.

  31. Today’s last model ACTUALLY looks like a woman should look.

  32. There is no escaping TITS2, Car in.

  33. Plus – I need a car.

  34. Got about 3-4 inches.

    Not a euphemism.

  35. Plus I don’t know how serious PJ mom was about sharing a room

  36. OK was a mess, but 35 south is dry. We’ll see how awful Dallas is. I have six hours to make it to San Antonio.

  37. Layover in Denver, weather delay, missed connections. They have a steakhouse and attached smoking lounge. Free wifi.

    I’m ok with it.

  38. Kettleball handstand girl looks about as fickable as Mt. Rushmore.

  39. We just did a delivery in Old Greenwich to an old-money type of fellow.

    Scott was uncrating this thing and there were instructions written inside the crate explaining the order in which to take the internal braces apart.

    I was standing next to the guy we were delivering to, and he read the instructions s-l-o-w-l-y, exaggeratedly, even pointing to the words. It seemed pretty obvious to me that he couldn’t read well or was having some trouble with it.

    I was thinking to myself, “This is written very clearly in big letters. Does he have an eye problem? Or can he really be this illiterate?”

    Later, I realized he had been reading that way because he assumed *I* am illiterate. I was thunderstruck.

    Delivery person, you see. Obviously I can’t read. If I were smart, I’d have been born in line for mummy and daddy’s fortune, like him.

  40. Pendejo, that’s an L-sit.

  41. Well, honestly, how literate do you really expect a hunchback to be?

  42. FRA-GEEEE-LAY

  43. You would have liked it, Hotspur. It was a 4-5 foot long handmade model ship from the late 1800’s.

    He claimed it was worth $75,000.

  44. Not to me.

  45. I’m going to start typing really slowly so Lauraw can keep up.

  46. You can type slower than you do already?

    Impressive!

  47. Probably a good thing the realization came after delivery.

  48. I moved all of my model ships this past summer. What a nightmare. I didn’t have to crate them thankfully, as it was only a move of a few miles, so I set them gently in the back of HotBrides station wagon, and drove very slowly. Made about fifteen trips.

  49. You need a steady car, like the Royal Deluxe II

    http://is.gd/yQ0dRu

  50. You should share more pics of those models, Hotspur.

  51. >>>http://is.gd/yQ0dRu

    Daaaang… I opened this Hulu link in Incognito window and it recognized where it was and wouldn’t play it for me.

    Also, +1 for old SNL linkage!

  52. Once you’re above a certain age, I think the type of “models” you are interested in is supposed to change…….

  53. I think triptych chick is photoshopped.Far left picture doesn’t look physically possible.

  54. PG’s right. Kettlebell girl looks frightening.

  55. Comment by Car in on December 28, 2015 3:32 pm

    PG’s right.

    can we archive this comment somewhere? That’s never happened before and will likely never happen again.

  56. Lauraw, the envelopes that the member called me “Useless” over, are online only. We finally got to see a flyer as we put signs up this morning. I’m only sad that I probably won’t be the associate that gets to read ONLINE ONLY to her when she makes another trip to the Club.

  57. Fanks, Carin.

    *accidentally cuts arm while trying desperately to fish last Pringle out of can*
    dang

  58. Somebody needed cheap envelopes so badly that they verbally abused you over it? Sounds about right.

  59. Not a lot of cars here at worky worky. I think there are more employees than guests.

  60. $1.99 gas today

  61. Saw 1.55 earlier this week

  62. Nice, short lines at Meijer.

  63. Sleet storms here all day, kept people* off the roads.

    *I’m not people.

  64. Huh. I thought the $2.59 here was a good deal.

  65. L-sit chick has a twin brother
    http://tinyurl.com/pvj8ggz

  66. It’s on the rise here, up to $1.87 for credit.

  67. We had Christmas garbage disposal trouble too XBrad, not involving potato peels. After I did all the dishes the kids passed through the kitchen and filled the sink again. I had one of them wash the dishes and he let a glass measuring cup (shot glass size) go down the eater. When he went to run the disposal it of course shattered. Took a while to get all the pieces either out or pulverized to little bits that flowed down the drain. It required using the InSinkErator wrenchette for a bit. http://is.gd/MS9lJT

  68. I totally read that as “wenchette”.

  69. Is that like a pint-size wench? I’m picturing a 4’10” gal in a dirndl.

  70. Paula wanted me to remove the whole disposal unit and I looked up the manual online where I came to the “wrenchette” term and used it as often as possible to annoy her.

    It worked

  71. $1.69 here. WooHoo! 75% of our associates called out Sunday. My boss said it was extremely slow and we weren’t needed anyway. Trucks finally made it through from Wyoming. 2 nights worth of trucks at once. Pics out of Roswell are crazy. The Sam’s there has been closed for 3 days due to snow.

  72. I so rarely run the garbage disposal, I have to reach for the wrench just about every time.

  73. Oso was looking for a dog…

    * ships Cody *

    http://is.gd/jaSGLx

  74. Scott, Dan and I were both amused by Cody.

  75. I’ve read “Ho, Ho, Ho, Tucker!” to Possum about 3 times now. She mostly tries to eat the book, but she seems to enjoy it.

  76. This’ll sound stupid, but Dan and I keep an emergency kit in our car at all times. Water jug. Newspapers. Blankets. Matches. Flashlight. Snacks. Etc. Hearing stories of 911 calls from county roads in eastern NM. Emergency responders are still working their way towards the last known calls. Hoping the people are safe and their cell phones are just dead.

  77. My ex and her family were trapped in a car for 2 or 3 days. On their way to Florida and a snowstorm buried them in NC or VA.

    2 adults and 3 kids, I can’t imagine what that was like.

  78. Not stupid, Oso. People here have flown off the road in snowy weather and remained snow-covered in a ditch, unable to leave their vehicles and unseen for days. I have an extra down coat, moving blankets. I used to keep bags of peanuts, matches, and a drink too. Haven’t had those other items in there for quite a while, but probably should replenish, just in case.

  79. Evening.

  80. http://is.gd/JOd28p

  81. Hi Jew! Scott and Lauraw, it is a carryover from Dan’s dad. Didn’t matter if it was summer or winter, if you travel…emergency kit. We even have flares! Scott, I couldn’t imagine the feeling of terror. Lauraw, Dan usually has gatorade/powerade in addition to water.

  82. I’ve read “Ho, Ho, Ho, Tucker!” to Possum about 3 times now. She mostly tries to eat the book, but she seems to enjoy it.

    YAY!!!

  83. Lauraw…that was awesome!!! ❤️❤️❤️

  84. We finally got the grader going. Had to crawl under it and shift it into first by prying on the linkage. Made it out to the highway and back. We’ll have to shovel some at the gate, but we should be able to get out tomorrow. It’s bee a helluva fight the last few days. 8″ of snow is no problem, 18″ to 20″ and you’re pretty much stuck. Even if our equipment is really old and worn out, it works just enough to get by.

  85. Pepe, I feel bad for saying I enjoy your FB pics. Especially the cow pics. (Knife pics are Art. )

  86. So you just drove with the clutch, no brakes? Sounds interesting in a road grader.

  87. We talked about using a cannon or mortar to lob illegals back over the YUUUUGE wall?

    http://tinyurl.com/glzwqxk

  88. XB with the funneh!!!

  89. That’s an awful thing to do! I mean, that baby is white!

  90. I got a LinkedIn request from Tung Mei-Wang. Seems fake.

  91. Even if our equipment is really old and worn out, it works just enough to get by

    Low hanging fruit alert.

  92. I still prefer a physical map to GPS or Siri. I think two co-eds ended up on a logging road in AZ and perished. I may have issues.

  93. There’s a lever that kinda sorta stops the transmission so it works as a brake, sometimes. Put the clutch in and it stops. No reverse, so you need a big area to turn around. Really loud, the exhaust is right behind your head. I’m kinda whipped this evening. Hoping to get a break tomorrow morning, then we’ll clean out the last part of the road tomorrow afternoon. Fortunately, most of my cows found their way to the house to get feed. We’ll look for the others tomorrow. Some young ones in a far pasture are on their own until the snow melts enough to drive through.

  94. Some genius reporters from ABQ used GPS directions a few years ago. Ended up stuck on a closed road up in the mountains. Fortunately they got a cell signal, otherwise they might have died. Those GPS directions sometimes use old roads. Had a military unit come through a while back. They got lost then stuck trying to take a shortcut across our place. Not happy with the navigator.

  95. Pepe, hope you are able to access the rest tomorrow. (Trying to explain to people that Sat phones are more valuable in NM then cells or Garmin/TomTom)

  96. Only Verizon works out here, and only in some places. We had to get a signal booster so phones will work at our house.

    Living out here, we don’t have the insulation from nature that people who live in cities have. I was really surprised that we didn’t lose power.

  97. Transformer blew up, saw a big green flash out front. Power’s out.

    Truck’s out there already.

  98. Pepe, we went with Verizon for coverage reasons. It is kind of a safety issue. We were still on TMobile during the 9 hr drive from Roshell. 285 was being closed behind us. We called family to stay in Roswell. Went to voice. Dan and I slid off the road in Vaughn. Again in Encino. Cousins with Verizon never lost coverage. Celena and Frank were following us after Vaughn. All the way to ABQ. They pulled us out of the drift in Encino. Total stranger helped us in Vaughn.

  99. My router is on an UPS and the netbook has 7 hours of battery. We’ll see if I make it. Mrs C was supposed to work tomorrow, but the bottle warmer is electric, so that might not be happening.

  100. I keep a GI mummy bag and a poncho liner in my truck along with a few hats and pairs of gloves. Not much else for supplies.

  101. Leon, sweet. I was watching the Rowlett tornado video. Transformer blow ups are scary. FYI HS BFF is a Dallas cop. Her hubby is a retired cop. Lots of envy in the Big D. Looters started hitting Rowlett within hours of the tornado.

  102. I was wrong, that wasn’t the DTE truck, just a cop on a driveby to make sure no lines were down too.

  103. Transformer blew up, saw a big green flash out front.

    Optimus Prime? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  104. That was my first thought too, Sean. No, this was just nameless peon in the energon wars.

  105. Oh, thank goodness.

  106. Well poop. I was hoping you were back online.

  107. Wife says “I was just thinking that if all this freezing rain makes the power go out I won’t have to go in tomorrow.”

    “Stop looking at me like that… it’s NOT MY FAULT”.

  108. Lemmy died. RIP.

    https://youtu.be/HpwUTJsI3xI

  109. Broken water main in front of the house.

  110. DTE outage site says it’s under investigation. No estimate yet.

    I salvaged the half-burnt candles from the 2014 Easter Vigil mass. They thought I was mad at the time. A hoarder, even.

  111. Sean, saw that at Jim Breuer.

  112. My brother and I were texting about it, and he asked, “Is that thing on his face still alive?”

  113. Chapman to Yankees.

  114. Another false alarm: salt truck.

  115. 1728 customers affected in my immediate area. That’s good. If it were just 5 people this would take a lot longer.

  116. “Broken water main in front of the house.”

    You should get that fixed.

  117. Probably get reported for wasting water.

  118. Schlomg

  119. We don’t own that. That’s the HOA’s problem. It’s part of the irrigation system. So the lawn maintenance company had to send someone out to shut it off. We’ve still got water in the house.

    http://tinyurl.com/jjp52uy

    But the city did raise our property taxes now that we’re waterfront property.

  120. Hey Chumpy!!! In addition to the adult coloring book fad, there is the Wine+Art party fad. Vegas casino had it. Bridal/Baby/Work parties are doing it. Your .02$

  121. Closer and closer. Oakland is kind of scary.

  122. Do NOT go to east Oakland.

  123. The cool thing about Oakland is that there’s lots of places where you can buy drugs while you’re in town. Kinda takes the sting out of getting murdered.

  124. If Mrs. C goes to work tomorrow, Leon is going to be warming bottles in his armpit. Which is going to be a nice bonding moment for him and Possum. Maybe.

  125. Vague twitter squee as my phone dies!!!!

  126. He can milk some horses.

    They have got to be good for something.

  127. Conserve your batteries, Oso!! Also, get one of those LL Bean hand-crank radios. You can also use it to charge your cell phone. Takes a lot of cranking, but it’s better than nada.

  128. Waiting for snow to start. Looking forward to it. Nothing so far. It’s going to happen when I’m sleeping. Right? Bitch.

  129. HOSTAGES!

    So, as usual, at least half of the pics are dudes, right?

  130. mmm, split pea soup after shoveling 6+ inches of snow.

  131. Come on, Bengals, beat the Donkeys!

  132. Did anybody meet anybody else in a club down in old Soho where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Coca-Cola today?

  133. We’ve got a Generac generator that will run the whole house, including the well.
    When we built this place, we put a “Gen-Trans” panel in the electrical system.
    The problem I have with it is that I’m 67 years old and 138 pounds.
    Pull-starting that 10-horse B&S is an “iffy” thing.
    I’ve only got so many “pulls” in me.
    I think I need to put it on “Craig’s List” and get an electric-start generator, or one like my friend, Bud, has that sits on a concrete-pad and runs off propane.
    It comes on automatically when the power blinks, and will run until power comes back, or you run out of propane.
    We have a 1,000 gallon tank.
    That should last long enough, IYNWIMAITTYD…

  134. Bengals gonna Bengal, Jay. Plus I want the Broncs QB to play well. It amuses me that Peyton is stuck on the bench.

  135. NYTOL…

  136. why didn’t Denver defer for overtime? I thought that was the way to win.

  137. Only 65 days until Spring Training games.

  138. That is a sic predeliction for baseball.
    Relax and enjoy teh snow and hockey. Its a bery enjoyable sport and with 30 teams in the leauge there’s bound to be one near ye that ye cam root for.

    Hock is beautiful and it is on the rise.

    Ositer, I’ll look at a collection of best wine and art party offerings. In art If no one gets hurt then there is no foul.

  139. Hockey is fun. Soccer on ice.

  140. Tramp Stamp Barbie

    Sorry, too late for Christmas.

  141. It might be one o’clock and it might be three
    Derp don’t mean that much to me
    I haven’t felt this good since I don’t know when
    And I might not feel this good again


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