Sunday Longie

[Impotent Update/Cyn:]


Email a pic: TheH2SecretSanta%gmail.comb; I’ll add to a special post.



  1. I made this.

  2. Beardie McChristmas.

  3. You didn’t made this. We all made this. Together. Through the miracle of government.

  4. The proceeds of this poat will be stripped away and redistributed to the poatless.
    If you don’t like it, you will be made to check your poaty privilege.

  5. An in-comment post update

  6. Mom-in-law’s dog is a complete disruption to household equilibrium. I didn’t need this.

  7. Disruption is the hallmark of your 40’s; get used to it.

  8. Ponies disrupted my 40’s

  9. I see Hillary is blaming everything on a video again.

  10. Ponies disrupted my 30s. How do you think I ended up on a damned horse farm?

    Disruption is the hallmark of your 40’s; get used to it.

    I haven’t had a good day in so long I don’t remember them. I’m hoping the pitbull will find a new home today.

  11. Ha ha – full circle!

    *finds the perfect award ribbon, too lazy to link*

  12. Otherwise I’m going to crack and suicide by doughnut.

  13. There ya go; that’s the spirit.

  14. This is why men get fat at this age, isn’t it? Eating is the only pleasure you still have time for.

  15. I think this picture pretty much depicts what’s in store going forward.

  16. *goes to bakery*
    *gets 5 dozen assorted doughnuts*
    *swings through grocery store*
    *gets one gallon of chocolate milk*
    *apologizes to pancreas*

  17. Kids = disruption.

    Have fun.

  18. The kid is the least of my troubles. She doesn’t bark. At least not yet.

  19. Shhhhhh, Pepe; you’ll scare him too soon.

  20. Time to go feed the disruptions. I mean ponies.

  21. Wakey wakey

  22. I have to go stock up on powerbars to make it through today. Yesterday was nonstop at work. Stupid people .

  23. Maybe your people need powerbars, kinda like an appetizer.

  24. I think this picture pretty much depicts what’s in store going forward.



  25. Car in’s lunch

  26. This gif:

    Led me to here:

    Why was I not informed of this?

  27. Somebody better get Cyn some breakfast or bad things are gonna happen.


  29. Cyn?

  30. I had the seeds of yesterday’s pumpkin for breakfast.

  31. Along with my usual coffee and sorrow.

  32. That’s a good idea Scott. I wonder if it would work?

    I seriously was too busy to eat/drink. Finally around6:30 I told everyone they could go fuck themselves but I was drinking a glass of water before I didn’t another thing.

    I’m going to have nightmares about selling gift cards. because waiting on tables/the bar/server drinks and keno just isn’t enough. Let’s have the bartender also sell the gift cards during the holiday season.

  33. When my manager asked me why I didn’t come get a tray of food i swear to GOD I almost walked out.

    She avoided the bar like the plague. God forbid she feel the need to help.

  34. Christmas cheer.

  35. It’s bacon day!

  36. Crush shit with a tank? Sounds like fun, though I think I’de rather shoot shit with a tank.
    Operation xmas gift went smooth this morning with exception of a 30 min skirmish @ sporting good section. I was finally able to disengage with last box of 9mm and expierenced lighter than anticipated resistance on the vehicle extraction. I only encountered one total mutant abberation, and only from a distance. I don’t think it saw me as was very determindly digging inside its nostril. Unfortunately, orders have come indicating that I should now prepare for another raid.

    God have mercy on my soul


  38. I sold gift cards to raise money for the kids’ elementary school. Spent most of the last week burning old records because there’s financial stuff in there, credit card records, returned checks, etc. Mr. RFH brought me a glass of wine, and we watched it burn. Very cathartic.

    I’ve got about $600 in cards left to sell, or they end up in a gift basket at the silent auction.

  39. In 4 hours I sold $2000 in gift cards. ugh. I don’t know what the end of the night total was.

  40. And it’s a PITA – because I have to 1) use the CC machine to load the card 2) USUALLY use the CC maching to then RUN the credit card for the charge and three (3) enter it into the point of sale computer.

  41. cARin seems a little tense.

  42. I’ll have what CaRIn is having.

  43. That would be really great Pupster. Have it delivered to me around 5 tonight.

  44. And then there’s the endless (horrible) Christmas music.

    Today – the “manager” is a 20 y/o hostess. This is going to go greaaat. None of us will do it because it would be a pay cut.

    The hostess said she would only do it if I was working. So … basically I’m managing today too.

  45. Carin, do you want a dog and case of wine?

  46. You know what would really work for me today? If we played QOTSA all day long.

  47. Dog – no. Wine -yes.

    Or is it a package deal?

  48. Kidding, we already have a friend willing to take her.

  49. My kids are pushing for a puppy. @@

  50. Like I need one more thing to take care of right now.

  51. It would be a package deal. The wine is a bribe.

  52. Like I need one more thing to take care of right now.


  53. I’m on it.

  54. I honestly could just sit hear listening to QOTSA all day. I might throw a bit of Tool in there for variety.

    I honestly could.

  55. Leon, how did you end up with MIL’s dog if the grandma-in-law is the one who is sick?

  56. MIL lives with GIL, has since I’ve known her. Money problems forced her back into the house at some point before I met Mrs. Caruthers and all three generation lived there then. Mrs C came to live with me, her mom stayed in grandma’s house. Grandma is dieing of COPD/emphysema/smoking for 50 years and can’t have animals in the house. My brothers-in-law took the cat.

  57. MIL is also GIL’s primary caregiver at this point. GIL’s brother lives there too, but he’s a worthless “former” heroin addict. He’s heartbroken about the dog being gone.

  58. Ah. My MIL had COPD, but she wouldn’t give up the collie for anything.

  59. The dog’s hair is so short I doubt it matters. Her brother (wife’s great uncle) smokes on the porch and in the basement (he lies about that, of course) and the cat was a longhair. Poor dog was the least of her worries.

  60. Hang in there, hope it gets better.

  61. We found a home willing to try, but she’ll be here until Tuesday. We’ve got her in the kennel for now and I’m feeding the cats upstairs. I may have to put a litter box up there temporarily.

  62. I thought you had a barn.

  63. Can’t put the dog out there. She’d freeze. Kennel’s working, but she barks at the cats when she sees them.

  64. Too late to ship the dog to your Secret Satan, Leon?

  65. Amazon can’t guarantee delivery for today.

    Prime is worthless!

  66. Absolute Heresy.

  67. OH! It’s tonight, right? The present thingy??


  68. I would have gotten you one of these

  69. From the Ace football thread:

    Some of Guerrero’s former associates also wondered why Brady and the Patriots would want to forge financial relationships with an entrepreneur whose history of legal trouble includes business partners accusing him of fraud.


    Well gawrsh, Davey, that’s a real head-scratcher, ain’t it?

  70. He’d have to sit down to play that to tap both feets.


  72. Your ballet lessons are paying off nicely!

  73. Woo hoo! Giants are in this.

  74. I think I’ve figured out Leon’s mysterious future boss. He’s Russian.

  75. Tom Brady. Future HoF QB. Dumped a supermodel and kid to marry a hotter, richer supermodel. Budding con artist.

    Wonder how many other rules the pats bend the fuck out of.

  76. All of them.



  79. Where the hell is everybody?

    I’m doing laundry and watching the footballs. It’s almost 2PM and I’m the only one out of bed in my house, other than Nessie the Needy Wonder Dog.

  80. There is a linebacker for the Vikings who’s first name is Captain.

    Why no Admiral?

  81. Sorry, cornerback.

  82. I’d like to be the guy who plays the horn sound effect at Vikings games.

  83. I am smoking bacon and watching the Giants blow another game.

  84. I just had to nudge my boys who are still in bed too.
    Lazy pups (sorry Pups).


  86. Boy 1 just came trucking down the stairs, too. It could have been the Viking Horn sound effect playing at full blast YOU DON’T KNOW.

  87. S’alright. Nessie the Barkful has been pretty quiet today, I think the neighbors are out of town, she usually barks when she hears them. I’ve been gone a week and she’s been laying by my feet in case I decide to take off again I guess.

  88. Sparky does that too, even if I’ve only been gone for a few hours. Then he gives me the stink-eye like I’ve hurt his feelings or something. I swear, you’d think he was a girl dog sometimes.

  89. No word on Boy2, I think he may be immune to Viking Horn.

    Mrs. Pupster is being served coffee so she has no reason to get up.

    *folds another load*

    *bangs the basket up two flights of stairs*

  90. Comment by Pupster on December 20, 2015 2:53 pm

    HAHAHAHA! I only watched that eleventy times and laughed every time.

  91. Mrs. Pupster is being served coffee so she has no reason to get up.

    Do you have a brother by chance?

    I’m asking for a friend me.


  93. No brother, but Mrs. Pupster has no wife. Sad, really.

  94. *tunes into WATR*

    *hears ♫♪”Feliz Navidad!”♪♫*

    *exhales slowly and squeezes trigger at WATR linky*

    *bans wiser AND wiserbud from blog*

  95. Sad indeed.

  96. I got up at 3:30 this morning. Fuck weekends. They aren’t fun anymore.

  97. Wow, they need to throw Beckham out of the game. Cheap shots all game long. Gonna be a payback if the refs won’t control him.

  98. Oso is missing The Island of Misfit Toys song.

  99. He’ll probably be fined for the cheap head shot.

  100. Concerning the ginger with the balls in his beard up top: I’m guessing that he has balls in his beard all year round. He just takes pictures at Christmas time.

  101. Me thinks it may be the only place he has any.

  102. Possibly.

  103. HOLY CRAP!

  104. Dear Red Zone,

    Nobody gives a FUCK about Falcons/Jaguars.



  105. I still haven’t learned. Don’t forget to wash hands after chopping peppers. I burn my junk every time.

  106. Atta boy, Eli.

  107. Eli throws like a girl.

  108. One more chance.

  109. It’s a Christmas miracle !!!!

  110. Take another victory lap Beckam.


  111. They made it interesting.

  112. The Giants always seem to leave just enough time on the clock for the other team to score

  113. Isn’t Beckam some Euro-weenie who plays footie and does ads for Dolce and Gabana? Quite a pretty fellow?

  114. Hi guys. I’m wearing one of my abominable snowman tees.

  115. Tiara?

  116. Panties?

  117. Princess Bumble.

  118. I’m writing Christmas cards and decided to tune in to Wiserradio for appropriate background music. Tuned in in time to hear one of my favorites by the Ventures.

    **sends a Corona to CT

  119. Isn’t Beckam some Euro-weenie who plays footie and does ads for Dolce and Gabana? Quite a pretty fellow?

    Same tree, different branch.

  120. I guess during the Vikings game they showed a married Army couple. The woman is a friend of mine.

  121. The Giants have lost 5 games this year in the last 10 seconds of the game.

    First time a team has managed that since 1970.

  122. NEC time?

  123. Scott, Coughlin problem or Eli?


  125. Good evening, Heat Misers.

  126. *drops out of ceiling onto Sean’s back*

    *hogties him swiftly with nylon cable*

    *heaves him through window*

    PHEW. That was too fuckin’ close, people.


  128. Both of them, and the offensive coordinator.

    Incomplete passes on third down instead of killing the clock? They did that twice and gave up last minute scores in both halves.

  129. *fist bumps Laura for catchin’ that quick*

  130. My Gints friends are ready to clean sweep. Not happy campers.

  131. They all seem to have lost their sense of humor about football. Acting like Eagles fans. 😀

  132. *fist bump*

  133. Eli can be counted on to offer the other team 2 to 3 turnover opportunities per game. Fumble, hit a DB in the hands with a ball, etc. His biggest attribute is that he’s very very lucky.

  134. You all that and a bag of chips; thanks, bb.

  135. The Iggles have to lose tonight for there to be any hope for the Giants.

  136. Comment by osoloco11 on December 20, 2015 7:01 pm

    Acting like Eagles fans. 😀
    Throwing batteries? booing Santa Claus? being thugs in general? In jail?

  137. Flipped on the Denver-Pit game and a few minutes ago, the Broncs had a solid lead; I blinked and now what the heck happened?

  138. Ha! All that plus being douche-y. Try walking a mile in the shoes of a Browns fan. Try rooting for Buffalo. Best thing about being old…I’ve seen my Chiefs win a SB.

  139. Eli had the Pats number. Twice. I don’t blame him exclusively for their fuck ups.

  140. Cyn, too little too late for Dan to win the $$$ in Fantasy. His phone has been blowing up with all his Steeler buddies.

  141. Comment by Jimbro on December 20, 2015 7:14 pm

    Eli a really good defense and a lucky throw had the Pats number. Twice.


  142. *picks bits of broken glass, brambles out of beard*

    Well, that was bracing.

  143. I adore Jimbro. Feel bad about H8N his teams.

  144. I am also a fan of the Patriots and the Jets, so the season lives on.

  145. Pile on Oso. It reminds me that rooting for a professional sports team is juvenile and other people have teams they love.

    WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    “They” lost.

  146. Juvenile? That’s me!!!!

  147. I do appreciate the athleticism on display in most sports. Not a week goes by where I don’t tell Paula that I wish so and so played for the Pats. Or how I hate so and so but would be a fan if he played for us.

  148. I kind of like the Bruins.

  149. I had to google “Bruins”.

  150. *sniggers*

  151. Bruins fans are dicks.

  152. Scott, that would be fitting. I just like their bear logo.

  153. Did Dan throw something at the TV, Oso?

  154. Chiefs haven’t lost since KC bear joined me in the BMC. (Big Man’s Chair). Dan just threatened KC bear. LOL

  155. Pepe, lots of cursing. Nothing thrown or punched…yet

  156. Stillers!

  157. MaryAnn just hides during Steeler games. Don’t expect to see her until later.

  158. Since no more Buckeye games until bowl time, Mrs. Pupster wanted to do shots for the Steelers game. Heh.

    She’s effing hammered.

  159. When, say for example, Jerry Jones’ employees are competing against, oh I don’t know….say Robert Kraft’s employees, I could search high and low and far and wide for a fuck to give and come up empty. Big XII football is about all I watch any more.

  160. 😂😂😂👍🏻👊🏻

  161. PG I’m all about bread and circuses. LIV poster child.

  162. One of my friend’s son is on the staff at Washington State but it’s hard to get their games here.

  163. Oso, I could name every starter for the Cowboys on both sides of the ball from about age eight to about age 15. I still followed them fairly closely for 20’or so years after that. Now it just bores the fuck outa me. I don’t know why.

  164. Mrs Pupster is gonna need someone to hold her hair.

  165. I don’t know if I’ve ever watched a complete regular season NFL game.

  166. In a surprising turn of events Paddy Bee Sting mixes well with egg nog.

  167. 51 minutes!

  168. Unsurprisingly, this mixes well with nothing I can think of:

  169. PG, my mom took her Mrs Bairds football cards to a signing show in the 90s. I think she keeps her cards/baseballs in the hall closet.

  170. “I don’t know if I’ve ever watched a complete regular season NFL game.”

    For several years I watched them all. Sports bar on Sundays to watch up to 9 games at the same time.

  171. Unsurprisingly, this mixes well with nothing I can think of:

    Not even Preparation H?

  172. I been waitin’ all day for Sunday Night

  173. Dan: You realize you’re wearing the bartender tiara? Me: 😳

  174. She has wonderful legs.

  175. Jay,


    Surprisingly looks more appealing than the “Colonoscopy Prep Kit” I got in the mail the other day…

    Some friends came over for the ‘gift exchange thing’ we do every year. I turned the TV on so they could see the Hawks/Browns while we visited.
    When it was over Anita was;
    “The Hawks won. Why is Pete Carroll looking so angry?”

    I told her it was because W has not been indicted for 9/11, yet…

  176. Carrie Underpants knows that her appeal is voice and legs. Even her maternity wear was all about the legs. Married a hockey player.

  177. I was looking at pictures of Taylor Swift on some clickbait site a while ago. How come she hasn’t starred in a BBF yet?

  178. Some weird damn church people keep kidnapping me.

  179. I really like TSs video with Scott Eastwood. Hot!

  180. Taylor has the F part, not so much the BB part.

  181. When are the rest of you opening gifts? I ask because I opened mine and sent a pic to Cyn just now thinking it was supposed to be at 8 and I was late.

    Mine was… thematic.

  182. Hotspur did a Flat Chested Friday once. It was unpopular.

  183. In a surprising turn of events Paddy Bee Sting mixes well with egg nog.

    Ooooh, wow…premium spirit beverage. That sounds delicious.

    Mrs. Pupster got Crown Black instead of regular, doesn’t like it as much.

    Egg nog…whiskey or rum or vodka, discuss.

  184. I haven’t gotten mine yet. I thought the opening was on Tuesday.

  185. A cup women need love too

  186. Egg nog…whiskey or rum or vodka, discuss.

    All three, skip the eggs and milk.

  187. “The Hawks won. Why is Pete Carroll looking so angry?”

    I told her it was because W has not been indicted for 9/11, yet…

    That’s a sick burn, Crispy.

    But it can’t melt steel.

  188. Rum in egg not. Whisky if I skip the nog.

  189. Well, crap.

  190. Whiskey

    Never tried it with the other ones. I bet rum would be good. Vodka not so much.

  191. Let’s go!!

  192. I was looking at pictures of Taylor Swift on some clickbait site a while ago. How come she hasn’t starred in a BBF yet?

  193. Rum is thoroughly delightful in egg nog.

  194. I bought some Crown Maple without trying it first.


  195. Maple crown is foul stuff. I did rather like apple Crown.

  196. I like bourbon in bourbon nog. Bourbon in egg nog shakes.

  197. Si on the apple crown!

  198. My ice cream maker came yesterday. Going to make a bunch tomorrow.

  199. Jimbro, see if you can find this

    It kicks Crowns ass.

  200. Man in the High Castle is pretty good. Brutal.

  201. A kid who, for a while looked like he might become my SiL but isn’t in the picture now, gave me a handle of Crown Reserve a couple of Christmases ago. It didn’t last long.

  202. The first time I ever had Crown Royal it was from a bottle we lifted from a house party back in high school. A local surgeon went away and his daughter had a house party. It was a mob scene like in the movies. My friends and I knew next to no one there and were off in the corner. Which just happened to be near a liquor cabinet. Crown Royal and Mt Dew was enjoyed at the drive in movies the next night.

  203. …Nine Minutes to Opening…

  204. …Nine Minutes to Opening…

    reminds me of my wedding night…..

  205. I haven’t gotten mine yet. I thought the opening was on Tuesday.

    Tell me you are kidding.

  206. I’ll look for it Scott. We have most major brands around here but if it’s out of the ordinary I look down in MA when I visit family.

  207. Tomorrow’s ice cream gets a little bit of cognac for antifreeze.

  208. I’m enjoying a 12 yr old George Dickel RIGHT NOW. (It is pretty smooth) SYWM

  209. When are the rest of you opening gifts?

    Yannow, for someone who is supposedly so smart, you can be pretty dumb sometimes……

  210. Jew, you’ve really not gotten yours yet?

  211. Let’s do this thing.

  212. …Soooooon…

  213. Which ice cream maker did you get, Leon?

  214. We have $10,000 in liquor shrink. Mostly Crown. 20 bottles of 1.75 Crown in 2 weeks before we started locking it up. Bitchez with strollers and diaper bags. Only 1 person in each club can make stops/

  215. I have not gotten a mysterious package. It’s true.

  216. :(

  217. now?

  218. I have not gotten a mysterious package. It’s true.

    been there brother.

    Know the feeling.

  219. BIL just called to get Christmas gift ideas for the kids.

    **looks at calendar**

    Any bets on Valentine’s Day?

  220. I want to thank my SS for hiring Scott to pack my gift…..

    *another fucking box?

  221. Holy Shit.

    Thanx DiT. You are The Boss.

    (stand by for photo)

  222. How ’bout them apples?!

  223. NO YOU ARE

  224. hahaha sending pics

  225. loved the wrapping

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