Gingerbread Nightmares (Stinkfinger Edition)





Thursday: one week to Christmas Eve. Shopping is complete. SS gift sent and SS gift received. Time for an egg nog.

I wrote this song when I was shaking my Secret Santa gift box trying to finger out what was inside the box.


  1. Here you go Leon:

    We spent our whole FSA for the first time this year. 2 pairs of eyeglasses for the adults and dental work for Boy #2 along with the usual co-pays. My friend told me about this place last year. He updates his first aid supplies.

  2. I think we finished spending our FSA in August. I’m putting off new glasses until next year.

  3. Is stinktoe a thing?

  4. Who have you been kicking in the poon?

  5. I’m going to try and get glasses next week or the week after. I really should have scheduled sooner. I can hardly get anything done with all this “going to work” crap in my way.

  6. Today I’m going to try to do absolutely nothing. It’s hard, though. Big list of stuff to do already drawn up. Maybe should just putter around the edges. Housework and prep? Sure.

    Scott took my truck in for service this morning.
    *crosses one item off list*

  7. I’ve got a lazy day going on here. So far I’ve had coffee, dropped the boy off at school and eaten a leftover chicken breast. There is a sink full of dishes I really ought to take care of since Paula has worked the last 2 days and is working now. After school gets out I’m taking Boy #2 shopping for mom and then getting dog food. If I time it right we can go to the truck stop for dinner.

  8. ww

  9. Holyshit, when did Carin get so lazy?

  10. I was not able to will my sickness away this time. Wet cough, throat, general lack of energy. I haven’t been sick in years and it stinks.

    Plus my friend’s grand baby is coming for Christmas and I won’t be able to cuddle her or kiss her sweet face.

    * shakes fist at sky……MAAAAAAARRRRREEE!!!

  11. Is stink finger a natural progression from “your mom” comments?

  12. Your mom is how I got stinkfinger.

  13. stinkfinger? Do I want to know?

  14. Worst Bond villain ever?

  15. Paul Ryan is a POS And he can take that beard and shove it up is ass.

  16. Wet cough is possibly the grossest thing I’ve read in a long time.


  17. *coughs wetly in MJ’s direction*

    Moist wetness.
    Moisten wetly.
    A wet moistness.

  18. Mostly mare’s moist mucous misting MJ

  19. Holyshit, when did Carin get so lazy?

    LOOK LADY – I’ve been CARRYING this place in the morning in your absence.

    Plus I worked last night and it was busy as shit. I only have so many finger taps in me this morning.

    LOOK AT HOW MANY I’VE just WASTED?!!! I need a nap.

  20. marvelous

  21. *barfs in stocking, puts stocking in box, addresses box…

    Wet Cough Hanky Licker
    c/o Hunchback
    Wetsboro, CT 90210

  22. Has Chumpo ever appeared to hear/read how his art posts are my husband’s favorite?


  23. Pouty baby matches comment, FTW.

  24. If you have to ask, laura, no, you don’t want to know.

  25. I think that box I got the other day isn’t from our secret santa thing. The return address said North Pole. I think it’s *really* from Santa.

  26. re: Ryan. Look on the bright side, all this bipartisanship is gonna pay dividends when we lose the house again.



  27. I think Stinkfinger has something to do with the Minivan but I honestly haven’t paid close attention to the whole thing.

  28. Then there’s this which is probably related to stinkfinger.

  29. Stink fist. One of the bestest songs ever. My buddy bought be Undertow on vinyl. Heh.

    Can’t wait to crank it to 11 in the new casa.

  30. Stink finger is the goal of all 7th and 8th grade boys when you went to the movies on Friday night. Or at least it was back in the mid seventies. Who knows what the little urchin fucks are up to at that age now. Probably bukake.

  31. Got any friends in Alaska C arin?

  32. I was an exceptionally late bloomer in the stinkfinger game. Unless you count the times that the cheapassed TP we used wouldn’t hold up.

  33. Fair enough, Jay, kind of tired of learning new things for a while anyway.
    OK, time to start my day. Talk later. Love you, miss you etc

  34. Something has to change. Undeniable dilemma.

  35. A relative of stinkfinger and stinkfist (*gasp*)

  36. J’ames – it’s SANTA who sent me the package.

    *runs to room/slams door/turns Stinkfist up to 11

  37. It’s like one of those words we warn mare not to look up on urbandictionary.

  38. Wait, I thought laura was doing nothing today. Does that include not posting on H2? Why is this different than school, then?

  39. The morning crew needs a break, right Cari n? *rests fingers

  40. Yea J’ames. That was BS.

  41. I’ll just leave this here.

  42. Tap tap tap.

  43. Hotspur brings the funny. Well done octogenarian

  44. Someone had better step up. I’ve got a sick kid and tons of shit to do

  45. Just in case you didn’t hate humanity this morning.

  46. Exactly who I’d want to raise my children. What could possibly go wrong?

  47. That story sounded a little too idealized. “Everyone” in her orgies was rich, smart, successful and had perfect bodies. C’mon. No fatties? No chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea or herpes?

  48. Welcome to marriage, Gay Marriage supporters and participants.

    The father? Really?

  49. Yeah, that sounded like it was written by the person who created the app.

  50. The idealized story is part of what annoys me.

    It’s like the gal who wrote in The Federalist a while back about how wonderful her newly open marriage was, while every commenter pointed out that her boyfriend was described basically as a guy who was miserable with the whole thing.

    Society is swirling around the drain.

  51. Welcome to marriage, Gay Marriage supporters and participants.

    The father? Really?

    Remember when those of us opposed predicted that precisely this would happen. “Father” and “Mother” would become loose terms, devoid of any value. If a woman can be the “father”, then why not two women? Or two men? Or six people?

  52. Hey, Paul Ryan, YOU DICK…simply say, “This POS spending bill will never hit the floor. No vote, get the shit out if it first!”

    Doesn’t matter if it’s procedurally or legislatively correct. Like Reid, do what you want.

    I hate people like Paul Ryan, fucking phoney assholes.

  53. Mare, you coming to the meat up?

    Come to the meat up, please.

  54. “phony”


  55. ColoradoAlex, first they have to booze up to get in the mood. Secondarily, this skank thinks that lawyers, CEOs, and other professionals are the end all to sex. Yeah, because all type A, self focused dicks are really good in bed.

    She’s a dumb skank and I’m glad she took her dumb ass back to England.

    Paul Ryan has put me in a foul effing mood. Traitor, straight up.

  56. Mare,

    I’m always amazed at how people can lie to themselves about how happy they are even while they are miserable.

  57. According to usps tracking, my ss victim got their shit this morning.

    Also, I awoke to find a second envelope from Amazon on my doorstep this morning. I must’ve been a really GOOD hostage this year. I hope it’s not one of those binary poisons I was reading about in that Vince Flynn novel.

  58. CoAlex, I know a couple of people sort of like that but they admit they’re not happy. They just don’t want the hassle of a divorce, losing their homes, and in one case, having to support herself. So they remain with abusive and cheating husbands.

  59. Yes, Alex, she was making it clear blowing an exec is so much better than blowing a carpenter. I wish that article was in a magazine so I could drive to wherever it takes to buy it, spend my money, stop at my storage unit, pick up my flamethrower, and torch the MFer on my back patio, while drinking 7 times filtered vodka yelling, “You East and West coast whores don’t know shit about sex!!!”” Oh and there is a reason you’re single and your Hillary happy place is the size of a garage!!”

    But I’d mean it in a nice way.

  60. Ps I don’t even drink vodka so I don’t know why I said that. Should have said, “while swinging my box of wine around my head yelling…”

  61. The Church has it right.

    Sex in a stable, loving marriage is far better than the alternatives. If you have to wrap your dick in three layers of latex, screw with your hormones, get blindingly drunk, and negotiate a ten page contract for what is acceptable and not acceptable… is it really that good of sex?

    Meanwhile the Catholic couple with six kids is boinking ever spare moment that they can find.

  62. This is fun.

  63. Still haven’t gotten my Secret Santa gift….

    *sniffs under armpits, just to make sure that’s not a contributing factor*

  64. Maybe it crawled under the porch, TiFW.

  65. I have confirmation that my gifts were received.

    I think it’ll be obvious once he/she/xe opens them.

  66. I have a package that has H2 and Secret Santa on it.

    I think that might be the one.

  67. Holy shit, someone at aces’s says this spending bill bails out insurance companies who were all in for Obamacare, is that true? I honestly feel like throwing up.

  68. *hands box of wine to mare

    Do they want Hillary to be president? It certainly seems like it.


    Must be feed for the pony.

    That’s very thoughtful.

  70. You got a pony?

    Celebrities. Amiright?

  71. That gingerbread house “Live Nudes” made me laugh like Rosetta when he was a little girl. Well done, Jimbrawny!

  72. I got my SS today too, but had to leave it outside- – it’s ticking

  73. Good friend of mine at church is expecting child #5 in February. His wife is beautiful, warm, speaks well of him in his absence, homeschools all the kids. And I’m pretty sure they scrump like teenagers at every opportunity.

    Unsurprisingly, they are two of the happiest people I know.

  74. I think at this point they want Hillary to be President.

    I feel like shaking them and shouting, “It’s not a choice between Hillary and Trump, it’s a choice between Trump and civil war!”

  75. I feel like shaking them and shouting, “It’s not a choice between Hillary and Trump, it’s a choice between Trump and civil war!”
    I don’t think they get it, Alejandro. Trump will win against Hilldog, regardless of what they want.

  76. Celebrities. Amiright?

    If you’ve never had a pony, I pity you.

    They’re delicious.

  77. Yes, Alex, she was making it clear blowing an exec is so much better than blowing a carpenter. I wish that article was in a magazine so I could drive to wherever it takes to buy it, spend my money, stop at my storage unit, pick up my flamethrower, and torch the MFer on my back patio, while drinking 7 times filtered vodka yelling, “You East and West coast whores don’t know shit about sex!!!”” Oh and there is a reason you’re single and your Hillary happy place is the size of a garage!!”

    Another mare classic rant. And I damned near saw it in real time this time.

  78. Feel better, Mare!

    It’s the most frantic time of the year!!

  79. Oh, it’s at the top of the page, PG.

  80. Ask Mr. Car In if he’d like to open an affiliated gallery in your area.

    I didn’t know shit about art until I opened one.

  81. chumpo, you better answer Car in about your post being her husband’s favorite, or she’s gonna get some pliers and a blowtorch and go medieval on your ass.

  82. Aaaaaand I’m just a little late, but I’m leaving it there.


    I’ve read a couple of books lately abt the Lockeed Skunkworks and the SR71 in particular. All the way back to the advent of jet engines they had to build exhaust outlets out of something besides steel or aluminum in order to withstand the heat. That’s how they discovered the usefulness of titanium. The Rosie Odonnel argument was farcical on it’s face to all but the most brutally ignorant as well as those who want to believe no matter what. Unfortunately those two groups encompass a lot of the life forms surrounding us.

  84. “…while drinking 7 times filtered vodka yelling, “You East and West coast whores don’t know shit about sex!!!””

    That ought to cure the wet cough.

  85. just a little drunk at the office.

  86. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 17, 2015 1:39 pm
    Oh, it’s at the top of the page, PG.

    As it should be. Well done anonymous mare musings archivist.



  88. Oh, man, now Ace is mentioning Obama’s comments about “no credible (terrorist) threats.”

    *takes deep breath
    *coughs until I almost puke
    *read the boxes of over-the-counter meds to determine if I can drink with them

    No credible threat before San Bernardino either, dipshit.

  89. I didn’t know shit about art

    Which is why you won’t feature Ann Krasner’s work.

    – Love,

  90. If you’ve never had a pony, I pity you.
    They’re delicious.
    Heh. Sometimes I kind of miss you.


  91. If you’ve never had a pony, I pity you.
    They’re delicious.

    Only the best veal for Bonanza. Steaks so fresh you can see the marks where the jockey was hitting it!

  92. Ponies are evil.

  93. Ponies gave me ebola.

  94. Ponies also stole my place in line to Best Buy on Black Friday. Fuckers.

  95. Gotta love Mare lol

    Did you all read the comments? This one has me rolling …

    My liberal buddy used this app and wound up with two women and a dwarf from Jersey. One of the women had bad teeth and an excessive amount of toe jam and the other had enough hair on her back to stuff a pillow. The dwarf had filthy underwear, scabs on his knees and some sort of skin condition. He said it ended up being an interesting night.

  96. Ponies ruined my credit

  97. Ponies are why Compos now only dates ex-cons.

  98. Ponies are why CoAlex had to repeat the second grade.

  99. Ponies are the reason Cyn stopped using 3nder.

  100. Peonies are beautiful but one good rain/wind and they’re ruined.

  101. Ponies are why CoAlex had to repeat the second grade.

    Pony play is why MJ is banned from elementary schools.

  102. Chumpo – what do you think of a battery/fine art gallery? Perhaps it’s time has come.

    I just ordered my husband a print of her’s. It probably won’t make it in time but he’ll be happy when it gets here. I think I’m going to get him another for his birthday. He REALLY liked them. I got one of the camper ones – but I want to get one of the tree ones too.

  103. >>Ponies are the reason Cyn stopped using 3nder.

    Ha ha ha (I had to look that up, I swear to god)

  104. Ponies are the reason that caRIn has the avatard she does.

  105. Ponies are the reason MJ hoots when he farts.

  106. Ponies are the reason Jay is no longer allowed to buy lemons in three counties per the judge’s orders.

  107. Ha ha ha (I had to look that up, I swear to god)

    Dudette, you need to read the article which produced today’s lovely rant from Mare.

  108. Ponies are the reason Paulitics had to change his name.

  109. Hey now.

    That’s not the reason.

  110. >>Dudette, you need to read the article which produced today’s lovely rant from Mare.

    CM, I’m on a super short leash today and got this little window of fuckery time. I read it later, promise.

  111. Ponies are the reason that caRIn has the avatard she doe

    I thought it was because I didn’t get an iPad/have small breasts?

  112. this little window of fuckery time

    Nothing like a Hotsausage quickie!

  113. Ponies are why Mare buys the party-sized boxes of wine from Costco.

  114. Don’t read it Cyn. It won’t improve your mood or make you like your fellow man any more.

    I think whomever said that it sounds like WHOMEVER invented the app wrote the story hit the nail on the head.

  115. QUICKIE!!

  116. Ponies are why wiserbud and Dave bunk together at meat-ups.

  117. Fake but accurate.

  118. Ponies make MJ cry.

  119. *grabs a towel and a bottle of Gatorade on the way out*


  120. Ponies are why Car In’s charging cables keep disappearing.

  121. That’s probably true.

  122. Who wouldn’t love a person with a pony?

  123. Does anyone other than Teresa still lack a seekrit satan gift?

  124. By singular demand:

    The artwork of Ann Krasner

  125. Whoa, looks like the artwork from “The Wall”.

  126. I’m still waiting on my Sanskrit Sartrap .

  127. I got y SS gift.

    it was a smashed store front window and a burning bag of shit.


  128. Ponies are evil.
    Someone reads Popehat.

  129. A pony turned me into a newt.
    I got better…..

  130. Alex, an elf told me that yours should have arrived last Friday via USPS. Something has gone wrong.

  131. Hahaha, Drudges, “Ryan gives it all away” headline is great.

    Ryan you’re a big bearded tool.

    no offense, Alex.

  132. Amazon gnomes have been notified.

  133. Whoa, looks like the artwork from “The Wall”.

    … recreated by a kindergarten class.

  134. This time of year USPS is focused on delivering stuff, not where it’s delivered.

  135. Alex, an elf told me that yours should have arrived last Friday via USPS. Something has gone wrong.

    Check your roof.

  136. Leon, the postal demons delivered my Secret Satan gift. I was just trying to make a funny.

  137. Xbrad,

    No, but someone has friends who are horse owners.

  138. Mare,

    No offense taken. My tool is currently clean-shaven.

  139. leon, he just wasn’t sure who it was from.

  140. Send all your Skinny Salamander complaints to Cyn. She’s not doing anything important at the moment.

  141. No offense taken. My tool is currently clean-shaven.


  142. Oops. I better call off the gnomes.

  143. Where are we supposed to send our Christmas pictures ? I just got mine done done.

  144. Craigslist

  145. 3grinder

  146. Pretty sure the grindr crowd isn’t particular about the number of participants.

  147. I ment TreeGrinder.

  148. An app to find someone to grind tree stumps seems interesting, if a little specific.

  149. TreeGrinder is ok.

    Don’t download StumpHumper. It’s… not for yardwork.

  150. *checks to see if “humpr” app already exists*
    *sees profile for “xxxlauradubyaxxx” in CT*

  151. Finally prepared that horseradish I pulled a couple weeks ago. Made three half-pint jars. Strong stuff. Burned my eyes looking at it.

  152. Commercial opens with a young black boy (maybe 10 years old) standing at a doorway. The woman inside the house tells him, “I’m sorry, but we already have someone to cut our lawn.” As the boy pushes his lawnmower down the sidewalk, he sees illegals jumping out of the back of a truck.

    Cut to several years later. The teenaged boy is told by a construction supervisor, “I’m sorry kid, but there aren’t any jobs available.” As he walks away the teenager sees illegals working on the site, with no safety gear.

    Finally, the young man sits in front of a desk in an office building. The woman across the desk tells him, “It’s an impressive resume, but I’m afraid that we’ve moved all of our IT positions to Pakistan.” As the boy dejectedly walks out of the office, he’s joined by others all carrying their cardboard boxes. A narrator says, “This election, cast a vote for the candidate who is willing to stand up for the American worker, and for American jobs. This election… vote Trump.”

  153. I thought the Ws were SmokrGardnrCTXXX?

  154. Leon is PapistPowerGlutes97


  156. Hotspur is AncientOne1903

  157. MJ is MuppetLove69.

  158. Got the number wrong. 97 isn’t meaningful to me.

  159. CoLex, the GOP should be running variants of that add in black media. Vote GOP.

  160. GOP isn’t smart enough to run that ad. Trump might be.

  161. Black media might sell him the airtime, too.

  162. So, when you find out the guy that you work for is a two-time 0bama voter because “the alternative was unthinkable”. Is the right answer:

    1) Quit now
    2) Coast until you can quit because you have another job
    3) Subtly undermine all of the things

  163. You’ve got a wife and baby. Keep the job, but keep looking for a new one.

  164. Yeah, 2 is my favored option. Only asked for comedy’s sake.

    Should have the other job locked down soon. Might have a phone screen with the customer (i.e. the people funding my position at the new company) next week.

  165. My coompany just pushed out a job notice for Korea.

    I couldn’t do Korea, as tempting as the thought may be.

  166. Evening.

  167. You sure?

  168. I did Team Spirit 87. That was enough for me.

  169. I got banned from korea. I can’t do korea anymore either.

  170. We are talking north, right?

  171. We are talking north, right?
    Why would we be talking about Kanye’s kid?

  172. Trump or civil war….that’s a lot more scary real than most want to recognize….and even if Trump is elected, why would it stop the inevitable disolution that approaches? There are two americas right now and they are polar opposite. You think either side is going to give up their beliefs? Or tone them down? Or work fairly with each other for the betterment of the nation?

    The Emporer has no clothes and this shit is going to crash. Not a question of if, only when.

  173. I didn’t watch the debate. Is there any truth in that Christie and another one were talking a “no fly zone” in Syria? Against the russians?

  174. I think if Trump were elected the Left might just be willing to agree to a peaceful divorce.

  175. Ya know they call them “demilitarized zones”. But always seems to be a lot of military shit in the area….

  176. I did not enjoy today’s political bullshit. Obviously who does? Besides the left and that includes the actors running as republicans. FU.

  177. I’m willing to give them a thin strip of both coasts (north of the Carolinas and north of San Jose in the west) and pricy travel visas to the place they’ll be begging for food from soon.

    But they’ll probably want mountains and stuff. No.

  178. Give them the West Coast, and the Northeast. California, Oregon, Washington, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and everything northeast of that.

  179. Cardiologist came through with a nice letter for me today. He said to take it easy and not make him look like a fool by overworking, then followed that with, “Usually people are trying to exaggerate their condition so they can collect disability, and the boss is trying to get them back to work.”

    Boss was stymied. She did not expect this move, heh. She hasn’t lifted the ban yet, but it will be hard for her to argue for a NASA exam when my own cardiologist says I’m okay for lab work, and he’s seen the data from stress test, blood work, echocardiogram, etc. in the last year.

  180. Way to go, Roamy!!

  181. Sounds good Roamy.

  182. not to upstage any of you fuckers…
    but i have received 3 packages from what i can only assume is my SS / assassin –

    1 is ticking
    1 is leaking
    1 smells worse than the midgets’ (so i’ve bean told) stinktoe

    *please note: i buried them in a field away from teh innocents –

  183. oh yeah –
    and a partridge in a pear tree

  184. that’s good news Roamy

  185. You got a good doc Roamster.


  186. My box smells of felt.

  187. You are very flexible.

  188. Ha!!!

  189. who ever felt it smelt it….

    o wait….

    i don’t know what mare is saying…

  190. Comment by Jimbro on December 17, 2015 8:29 pm

    My box smells of felt.
    and shame?????????

  191. Yay, Romacita!!!

  192. Felt and desperation…..

  193. I’m the one with laryngitis, yet people were yelling questions at me or close talking me. Horrible shift. This AM, we were having breakfast at Taco Cabana, and Dan told me to save my voice for work. 😱

  194. My jarrahdale seeds came!

    Now I need to figure out how much scrubby forest I want to clear and whether I really want a particular giant section of my front yard to be grass or not. Apparently these suckers throw out vines up to 30′.

  195. I’m craving gingersnaps with a sharp cheddar cheese.

  196. Oh, seed magazines are in stock.

  197. Taco Cabana doesn’t sound like a breakfast joint.

  198. What I’d like to do is chop down some more saplings out front and then bury them with some of the mountain of pasture soil the bobcat guy made for me in a giganto hugelkultur mound. Then I can plant the pumpkins along the crest of the mound and let them take over the front woods and some of the area nearby. I’ll be clearing the south end of the woods, so they should still get plenty of sun.

  199. Scott, it is a great place for breakfast. Breakfast tacos, breakfast burritos, gringo breakfast, fiesta breakfast, combination plates, etc. They have a salsa bar.

  200. I used my leafblower today. Also a rake.

  201. Oh wow, I haven’t had that in years, Osita. I used to love those super thin, dark and spicy gingersnaps topped with a slice of NY sharp chedd.

  202. Lauraw, you told me about them years ago. When I became a Kerrygold butter addict, I added a shmear of butter to the gingersnap before adding the cheese.

  203. The best breakfast burritos In this shithole dump of a town are at a joint run by a family of Laotians. Doing jobs mexcans will do but doing them much quicker.

  204. One year some volunteer squashes covered two sections of fence and gave me a dozen mighty fine butternuts. Ever since then, I usually encourage squashes to climb something. Easier to take care of, and they seem to love climbing anyway.

    Next Spring I’m going to make a seed mound at the base of our sad old crabapple tree. This tree is short and spreading, and loses its leaves halfway through summer almost every year anyway; might as well use it as a giant squash trellis. Plus there’s always a ton of birds in the thing. Maybe they’ll eat the damn cucumber beetles and squash bugs.

  205. Gosh they were real good Oso. I never buttered them though, that’s a new one on me!

  206. I am considering building some sort of stacked-log fence to contain them that could be adequate for climbing, but the fruits can get to 10# or more, so I’d have to be ready with some netting or something.

  207. PG, I have family members that own 3 different restaurants in Roswell. One family member owns two burrito places in RioRancho/Albuquerque. I don’t like paying for food that tastes like home. Meh.

  208. Lauraw, Kerrygold butter is OMG.

  209. Hmm, maybe some regular horizontal elements incorporated in the log fence, Leon? Something to tie individual fruits off to? I’ve seen articles where people used little slings to support very large squashes grown on trellis.

  210. Something like this would be awesome. A couple short sections would do it.

  211. Good god, what is wrong with you people? At least wait until Spring is a little closer, it isn’t even officially Winter yet.

  212. Perfect, Leon. And you could run wire or twine here and there for tendrils to grab.

    May is five short months away, Pepe. Gotta be prepared.

  213. *cocktails and debriefs*

  214. Cyn!!!! I’m wearing the tiara in the Big Man’s Chair while watching football!!! (Pours Cyn a Evan and Diet 7.)

  215. Prior planning prevents puny punkins.

  216. Disney has cycled Orlando 4 times. They have a strict hair, dress, tat, piercing, etc code. It has been crazy watching WDW cycle through the immigrants.

  217. You fuckers are just funning with us, right? I mean…….fucking squash. Seriously?

  218. Evening Hostages.

    *eyes Cyn as she debriefs*

  219. Priscilla prefers plenty of prodigious pepos.

  220. Tasty beverage – thanks Osobear!

  221. Yo Brent

    *tightens fuzzy robe*

  222. You fuckers are just funning with us, right? I mean…….fucking squash. Seriously?


  223. PG, the thing about squash is, you can harvest them in our climate and hold them indoors without a root cellar and without spoiling for seven or eight months of the non-gardening year.

    That can mean a LOT of fresh, nutritious, virtually free food all Winter long, if you plan your planting space right ahead of time. Hopefully I get it right this year.

    Get off my tits.

  224. This is the gardening blog.

  225. G’night peepers

  226. *unties robe using The Force*

  227. Cyn, will Tits2 have a room set up for cheap refreshing beverages from Total Wine?

  228. OK, okay.

  229. Tricky.

    Good night.

  230. Cyn, will TITS2 have a room set up to discuss gardening?

  231. I like squash. Calabacitas is the best Summer Squash recipe. Fall squash is the best. Type II and squash is simpatico.

  232. It’s not like we’re posting pictures.


  233. I could lead a focus group on onions. That’s about the only thing I grow. Except for grass burrs.

  234. The Force is gay.

  235. I might watch too much football, I recognize the referee’s voice and know his name.

  236. What about dandelions? That’s both gardening AND food blogging!!!

  237. The Force is gay.


  238. I already figured out spoilers. Dan is shunning me.

  239. Pepe is my twin? I H8 the cult of umpires.

  240. Roundup bs Propazine. Discuss amongst yourselves.

  241. What if kicking dandelions is your thing?

  242. Poison vs poison?

  243. Stomping buttercups? Check. Kicking dandelions? Check. Stripping honeysuckle? Check.

  244. Ha! Dan is getting beefed by MA. Finally gets her to snuggle….

  245. Hey Oso, remember Aaron Pointer? I think he was a linesman for years. Brother of the Pointer Sisters.

  246. Astros baseball. Old school

  247. The officials are letting the defense beat the crap out of Jamies Winston.

  248. This year has been notorious for bad calls and game fixing.

  249. Really pisses me off when the officials even up a game. One team gets a big lead, all of a sudden…holding, illegal procedure, etc. Stupid little calls that either keep a drive going or kill one. They do it all the time in basketball, but it’s really apparent in football lately.

  250. Pepe, yep. I don’t want to give Scott props, but he knows. He knows

  251. Anita finished refinishing the oak table that had held an aquarium for 30 years. We unpacked the new TV that she got at Costco last week.

    That thing is an Android monster! It has more native apps than her fuckin’ phone!
    I figured-out how to get it to our local 2100 “NEWS”, so I’m cool.
    She was fuckin’ around on Youtube and found that she could control it with her phone!
    We are doomed…

  252. ChrisP, I want your TV

  253. I was singing a song for Dan. To the tune of I’m picking out a thermos for you. It was I’m generating mucos for you… I have more lyrics. He’s commenting HARD

  254. Did you remind him that you’re a princess and should be treated with respect?

  255. I’ve seen it before
    It happens all the time
    Closing the door
    You leave the derp behind

  256. Evan Williams Kentucky Cider tastes awful.

    That is all.

  257. Ponies are the reason Evan Williams Kentucky Cider tastes awful.

  258. My nickname in college was Muley. Pony would’ve been an insult.

  259. Jumbo, you should try Dicken’s Cider.

  260. Angry Orchard Stone Dry is pretty good.

  261. My nickname in college was Muley.

    They found out you were a sterile half-breed?

  262. Today’s period of “sunlight” will be 9 hours and 6 minutes long, starting 25 minutes from now.

  263. Sunlight is a scam

  264. Every single day of Possum’s life has been shorter than the one before it.

  265. When you put it that way it makes me want to go on a 57 state killing spree

  266. *eats 40000 IU of D3*
    *saves hundreds of lives*
    *gets no credit*

  267. Good morning, hoe hoe hoes.

    It’s Friday you know.

  268. It’s Friday. Where’s the beef boobs?

  269. Friday? Friday? Don’t talk to me about Friday!

  270. Pretty soon Car in will get here and complain about not having a fresh poat to ww on.

  271. Where’s the beef boobs?

    I can yank the tops off my avatard real quick.

  272. Are you channelingtatum your inner Jim Mora, Jay?

  273. I’d rather you tell us another story about another time you almost shit your pants.

  274. I ain’t ww-ing here that’s for DAMN sure.

  275. Friday sucks. The next few days are going to suck. No relief until Tuesday. When I’ll get exactly ONE more day before the suckage starts again.

    If anyone asks me about my Christmas “break” i’m going to choke a bitch.

  276. Good morning! Only two and a half hours until Star Whores.

  277. Let the Good Tymes Raul.

    Switxh Blade or Hedge Trimmer?

  278. So wants an invite to my new H2 garden blog? Eh? Eh? I need help doing the format and graphics. It looks like Hell.

  279. TheGardenHoe

  280. My hours got cut, so I don’t have to go back to work until after Christmas.

    I’m already filling up all this time with dates, arrangements, and commitments, because empty blocks of time apparently scare the shit out of me.

    Yesterday I did chores all day and knocked stuff off the todo list. Today I’m working for Scott, lumping freight.

  281. Thanks, Chumpo. That would have been a better name.

  282. Here, have a pickle.

  283. Heh. I love bad food.

  284. Chumpo – not to pressure you – but Pat is already looking forward to Tuesday.

  285. bout time youse guys woke up

  286. No boobs yet? Well, besides you guys, I mean.

  287. MJ is a late riser. GND has him all tied up.


    I think they probably heard that in there, between the creaking and slapping. Everybody likes a cheering section.

  289. I don’t think MJ can hear you, when he’s in the gimp mask.

  290. There’s no earholes? Then how does he hear her call him worthless scum, and command him to grovel? There’s gotta be earholes.

  291. *thinks about googling nefling. is afraid*

  292. The boobs will be of the next week variety unless one of you incompetents steps up.


  293. Then how does he hear her call him worthless scum, and command him to grovel?

    Usually a series of well-placed taps with a crop.

    Or so I’ve heard.

  294. Lauraw should do the boobs.

  295. Laura darling, have you considered filling those blocks of empty time with binge drinking? That’s pretty well what the rest of us do.

  296. I tried to build a poat once. I tucked it up from here to Beaumont. Someone mercifully pushed it down and curb-stomped it.

  297. I didn’t mean to say tucked. Swearzies.

  298. HELP!

    I’ve often thought of creating a BBF as my first ever official poat here. However, I’m at work and probably shouldn’t even be seen socializing with you clusters, let alone creating a semi-NSFW masterpiece. Old habits die hard and you all are my meth. The good kind, back before they started making it with chewed up cell phone batteries and sulfuric acid.

  299. Lauraw should do the boobs.

    Completely agree! Especially since she has so much free time on her hands and could possibly be binge drinking.

    Please laura? Puhleeeeeeaaaaaase??!?

  300. Cain’t believe compos reappeared after all these years. Daing.

    And likewise, a little disappointed at the boob dearth.

  301. I ordered my ticket online several weeks ago. I showed up at the theater and someone has used my ticket number ten minutes ago to get in.

  302. Wtf alex? did you raise hell?

  303. Ok, they had a refund so they let me in.

  304. Ugh, how did that happen? Stolen ID at the kiosk?

  305. That’s good. Now we have to ban CoAlex until we’ve all seen the movie.


  306. No idea. My theory is either a screw up with the system, or some soldier was in my office and grabbed the confirmation number off the ticket.

  307. The last movie I saw in a theater was the great gatsby. I don’t anticipate seing another one any time soon.

  308. Been trying to get a hold of insurance /health company for days. No one answers. They don’t return calls.

    We lost our insurance last month. Pat has had agents call him and it it unbelievable how expensive it is for absolutely NOTHING.

    Here drop $18,000 a year for NOTHING.

    And yet Obama is going to spend his final year talking about how awesome it is.

  309. Your spoilers are POWERLESS to me. I pity them.

  310. Wuck Far Stars!

  311. No bewbs?

    I blame Ponies.

  312. My daughter just posted a short video of my grandson ice skating. Every kid was wearing a fucking helmet. God, I hate what we’re turning into.

  313. Wait till Olympic figure skaters are compelled to wear helmets.

  314. The ponies relented, and there’s a NEW POAT!

  315. While waiting for my case to begin this morning I sat sipping coffee in the lounge with the TV on. One of the nurses made a comment about a teaser commercial for Obama appearing on some survival show with Bear Grillys and said “I hope they make him eat a slug”. To which I replied “How about a bag of dicks?” Everyone was laughing so they didn’t hear me mutter about how he’d probably like it.

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