You know what today is?!?

I think these were named after Hostages!

Today is Day of the Horse!

352 Comments

  1. Hi Mare.

  2. Because No, No, No, No Nooooo I dooon’t want to work
    I want to bang on yer mum all Daaay….

    Hows that for some anti social shit to start your morning?

    (goofy todd rudgren ear bug….I think something is seriously wrong with my brain)

  3. Gooooooooood morning.
    There are 13 shopping days left until Christmas.
    Or, in my house, panic season.

  4. http://is.gd/no4B6e

  5. I went thru a phase like that where I’d wake up to a tune in my head. It does stop… eventually.

  6. Sorry about our friend, Sean.

  7. People are horrible work story-

    First table. Deliver food and the man says that the baked potato isn’t hot. Ok. Take it away and bring him another. I say if THIS one isn’t hot enough I’ll heat it up even more (note the timing of this). He cuts into it and declares that it is “old”. Humn … we don’t use old potatoes – we cook them fresh every day. No this one is old he says “I used to cook” he declares (he ordered his prime rib well done – no quality cook ever eats well done meat – it’s just not done). I ask him if he’d like a different side item – and he says “yes … then no … just take it off my bill.”

    @@

    Sides aren’t ON your bill. Whatever. I talk to my manager and she takes $2 off the bill. @@. At the end, he asks to speak to my manager. Fine. I bring him the credit card reciept and say “you have a good day” and he says “IS THE MANAGER COMING?” (it’s been a whole 2 minutes” and I respond yes.

    ANyway – he recounts the story claiming that I offered to heat it up after he told me it was old (@@@ – wrong on so many levels) as if to insult my service. Sorry dude.

    The manager didn’t do anything for them – of course – the whole thing was ridiculous. As she was walking away he can hear him add “And it’s HER BIRTHDAY?!!”

    Hey Mr asshole – how about you try not to be such a dick in a restaurant on your wife’s birthday? That would be a nice present for her.

    $3 on $30. because …?

  8. People who eat out on a friday before 5 pm are generally horrible. I get my worst tables then.

  9. No Leon. No.

    http://is.gd/khCIjD

  10. http://is.gd/Htbp2n

  11. You should totally take the 3rd Friday in February off then, cARin.

  12. http://is.gd/0w53Bw

  13. http://i.imgur.com/sbz97dq.gifv

  14. Love this – so pretty

  15. leaving it unzipped too :)

  16. I ate lunch in a restaurant about 3:00 yesterday. Other than silently admiring how sexy a couple of the young Latinas who were working there were, I was pretty well behaved. Tipped $5 on a $11.88 bill. Car in would like me. Other than the ogling.

  17. leaving it unzipped too :)

    What a coincidence.

  18. Tracer rounds

    http://is.gd/HbsDMy

  19. unzips to be topical and shit

  20. The animated gif at the top is way too big.

  21. Don’t need Cyn’s pic, snowing outside right now. Bah Humbug.

  22. I don’t want to go to the gym today :(

  23. @ pupster Thats a ported Springfield XD, though Im not sure if thats real footage or CGI. Looks cool though. Will burn out the barrel firing those rounds (if they are real) quick, fast, & in a hurry.

  24. If you go down to the gym today
    You’re sure of a big surprise

    If you go down to the gym today
    You will not believe your eyes

  25. If you haven’t taken 15 mins to watch the D’Souza vid at HQ you need to do so. It’s fantastic.

  26. They’re playing music on WATR right now- must be no Wiser today? :(

  27. That guy must really hate ant mounds.

  28. And speed bumps.

  29. Tracers don’t burn out a barrel faster, pretty much like shooting ball.

  30. I just got off the phone with my mom. She loves her some Trump.

  31. I’ve fired tracer from an M9, just to get rid of it.

  32. whoever sent me a SS gift I GOTS IT

  33. Only problem with the D’Souza vid is that I’m sure the kid thinks he won.

  34. That and the lady cheering him on.

  35. Re the D’Souza vid, comment at Ace’s

    “…. sent the young man off to do a bit of introspective thinking.”

    ======

    The left is incapable of introspection. Others will tell him what a great job he did and how he totally showed D’Souza.

  36. Afternoon Hostages. Wait. WTF? Shouldn’t we have snow on the background?

    CYNNNNN!!!!!!

  37. I’ve got plenty of snow outside. I’d prefer to keep it off the blog.

  38. I totaly miss the snow.

  39. On the blog.

    Bring it back!

  40. Wheee

  41. http://is.gd/vozR2X

  42. Good one, Puppeh

  43. Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The blog has dandruff!

  44. Do you want to build a snowman?

  45. I miss the snow too.

    sad face

  46. Yes please.

  47. Not dandruff

    Head lice infestation

  48. Moderate to severe plaque psoriasis.

  49. Dayum

    http://tinyurl.com/jzmevq3

  50. “Dayum

    http://tinyurl.com/jzmevq3

    one of the side effects possible when treating your Moderate to severe plaque psoriasis.

  51. Making root beer, smells fantastic.

  52. Mrs. Jay is eating! She had some of the PBC roast, and said it was really going down good.

    So I went to the store and got 2 more. Hey, they were on sale!

    *watches smoke

  53. Nothing better than a meat sale

  54. Jay that’s good news!

    about Mrs.J that is

  55. Today’s IB moment http://is.gd/z7VcCZ

  56. we had another bball game this afternoon –

    we had our hats handed to us…

    bummer, but prolly a good thing.

    the girls got lazy after winning so easily the last couple of games.

    if we’d have shown up mentally we could have won i think

    oh well – everyone needs to get their ass kicked once in a while to keep them sharp

  57. Rally Taxi should be real http://is.gd/IlslJ9

  58. that last car had a damn tight bootlegger turn;
    based on Cyn’s video up top, one may surmise a certain desert peach has perfected her driving skilz

  59. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 12, 2015 6:07 pm

    Mrs. Jay is eating! She had some of the PBC roast

    =======

    Behold the power of the PBC……

  60. Probably took a minute off of her mile.

  61. I’d pay surge pricing.

  62. Greetings, makers of merry.

    Thanks for the kind words last night/this morning. The guy who died was named Bruce, and he’d recently gone through the same treatment program I went through. He was a guy who had been using heroin and/or meth for years, had been in and out of jail and prison for most of his adult life on a variety of charges, but who was eager to change, get clean, and live a better life. I had seen him on Thursday morning, and he seemed like he was fine. I don’t know what happened in the ensuing hours, but either his wife or his daughter found him yesterday morning with a needle hanging out of his arm.

    Wish I could say this is the first time I’ve seen something like this, but the sad truth is that when you’re around drunks and junkies on a regular basis like I am, some of us aren’t going to make it. Everybody has a story. Each story has value. Some, unfortunately, are a cautionary tale.

    /rant

  63. Nicely said, Sean. I’m sure you meant something to him, in his last days.

  64. Thanks, J’Ames. Now that I’m done being Captain Bringdown, who has a spare bullwhip?

  65. Evening.

  66. Sean,
    Sorry about your friend.

    About the needle still in his arm, it’s been happening all over the west coast. Somebody cut a big batch of heroin with fentanyl.
    Your lights go out before you finish pushing the plunger.
    I even hear it out here in BFE, on the scanner…

  67. Today I learned that our pigs are testing positive for H1N1. I might get a lovely case of swine flu for Christmas.

  68. I have several Bullwhips!!

  69. A case is way too much swine flu for one person. See if you can trade it in for a six pack and store credit.

  70. Well that’s a helluva Christmas bonus.

  71. At least you’ll probably get a ham out of the deal.

  72. That was bad. Ha Ha Ha!

    I’ll show myself out.

  73. Sorry about your friend, Sean

  74. I do get a ham. Way back when I started I was the only one with a question about benefits. ‘The insurance and everything sounds great, but do we get a Christmas ham?’

  75. Sweet Smitin’ YHVH, this is fucking ridiculous:

    https://youtu.be/wJfzOJPH_Sk?t=8m55s

    Whoever wins next year, I can’t wait for that cock-smoking shitheel and his crowd of pinko fuckwagons to vacate the White House.

  76. Today is the Feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, Queen of the Americas.

  77. Cyn, don’t watch this

    http://is.gd/LeuaE2

  78. Today is the Feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, Queen of the Americas.

    1. There’s only ONE ‘merica.

    2. We ain’t got no fancy royalities.

  79. Sean, I could only watch about 30 seconds. Living in America for the past seven years has felt like being Patti Hearst in the 70’s.

    I never tried any kind of illegal narcotics because I was afraid I’d like them too much to quit. Liking beer too much has been bad enough.

  80. Sean, does LA get crazy today? Mariachis? Processians? Messicans born on the 12th are usually named Guadalupe

  81. A future pic of the Possum. Have fun Leon.

    http://tinyurl.com/possumage8

  82. There are certain parts where I’m sure it’s a big deal, oso, but I’m not sure how crazy anybody gets. They usually have a mass or something at the ugly-ass cube they call a cathedral downtown.

  83. This is the ugly, modernist piece of crap of which I speak.

  84. It looks like a building Barron Harkonnen might have built.

  85. That is quite possibly the ugliest cathedral ever! If I remember correctly $$$$

  86. Here’s a shot of the airy, joyless interior.

    http://www.panache.voyage/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/LAcathedral4.jpg

  87. Sean, I’m sorry about your friend.

    On the other side of things how long have you been sober, how many days/years?

    You’re pretty kickass, when I consider trying to lose weight vs giving up a physical and mental addiction your fight blows my mind.

    Also I’m looking forward to you calling Rosetta a “dirty motherfucker!!” Again. Man, I love that.

  88. Sean, where is that POS “cathedral”?

  89. I’m old school when it comes to churches/cathedrals. My Catholic Church in Texas was amazing. New and yet they did everything they could to make it representative of on old cathedral. Just sitting there was awe inspiring.

  90. I don’t know, I kinda dig it, except for the lights. They tried to go minimalist but those are coming off as skeletal and cheap, instead. They needed to go more posh with the chandeliers to rescue that look.

  91. Mare, me too. I H8 churches in the round.

  92. Also, Cyn’s “deal with it” gif is beyond excellent and I’m sad that isn’t truly mare as a child.

    *writes to parents, blames them for not buying me a motorized car and my lameness as a child with just a stupid bike.

  93. It almost looks like an old mission church.

  94. It will be four years and four months at the end of this month, mare. 1,566 days as of today. I had to look it up, by the way. I don’t keep track of every single day.

    And that cathedral is in downtown L.A. In addition to covering for a lot of pedophile priests, Cardinal Mahony foisted that shopping-mall-looking monstrosity on the area’s Catholics. Not a good guy.

  95. Lauraw, old school chandeliers would have helped but I’m sure the artist architect they hired for a shit ton of money refused to compromise his bullshit vision.

    And before I go all in on this, is it a Catholic Church? Because if so its just wrong. I don’t know about other faiths.

  96. Sean, other than marriage and motherhood I haven’t done anything for 1566 days. Yeah, breathing but let’s face it that’s autonomic.

  97. So, Dan was at the computer and he sent me a selfie of him wearing my tiara. Then he threatened me if I ever share that picture on any format or forum.

  98. I’ve done your mom for 1566 days. That was also autonomic.

    /low-hanging fruit

  99. Well , I can see Sean needs his ass kicked.

  100. TITS2. I’ll show it. (Looking like I’ll be getting my TOR approved. I got called in early today to “Fix” clothing again)

  101. I really do, mare. laura has been so busy with school lately that she hasn’t had any time to beat me/torture me/lock me in a steamer trunk and throw me in the ocean.

  102. Why does it take 2 hours to give away a fucking trophy?

  103. Sean, do you prefer a systematic ass kicking or a random kind of deal?

  104. I’ve done your mom for 1566 days. That was also autonomic.

    /low-hanging fruit

    I tried doing my kids’ mom for thirty days straight one time. Didn’t make it.

  105. I think it stinks I have to cold cock a lefty to be in the tiara fight club. It’s not that I think that’s wrong, it’s just that I don’t hang out with lefties so I have to go looking for one.

  106. HI MARE

  107. Why does it take 2 hours to give away a fucking trophy?

    When you’re giving away a trophy for fucking, you have to make sure the trophy is sanitized first.

  108. Hi, Dave in Texas!!

  109. Who runs out of ketchup and Sriracha AT THE SAME TIME???? We sell both at The Club.

  110. Twitter is broken again?

  111. Comment by Sean M. on December 12, 2015 9:05 pm

    I’ve done your mom for 1566 days……..
    ====

    Usually that drives people TO drink……

  112. I read somewhere that we’ve reached peak sriracha. Which really just means hipsters have moved on to some new shiny bauble.

  113. Sriracha + eggs = heaven.

  114. “Twitter is broken again?”

    It was funny last nght.

    It is hilarious tonight.

    *pushes dave in the nearest puddle*

  115. Who runs out of ketchup and Sriracha AT THE SAME TIME???? We sell both at The Club.

    Seems legit. Sriacha + ranch, mmm.

  116. Sriracha + your mom……..

    Just to tie it all together.

  117. Jimbro, they put Sriracha in my Bloody in FL. Not a fan.

  118. I’ve never even had sriracha and it’s already a done deal? Why can I not ever get ahead of the curve? I never saw a Seinfeld episode until it had already been cancelled.

  119. You’re more in a El Tapatio area, PG. Sorry.

  120. Mmmm…Tapatio. I like Cholula too.

  121. I hate rock chalk chant. HATE IT!

  122. Don’t think I’ve had Cholula. But love me some Tapatio.

  123. I put Tapatio in my pea soup last night.

  124. * press one for English *

    Fuck that.

  125. I H8 Rock Chalk!!!

  126. crutching the roasts now. 170, only 20 to go.

  127. Fuck them

  128. *fistbumps oso

  129. Just because other people have decided to stop using Sriracha doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, PG. I plan to keep using it until the day I die. And to then be entombed with several bottles of the stuff to use in the afterlife.

  130. I hear it makes great embalming fluid. Look into that.

  131. how do you spell sriracha?

    ok wait..

  132. Twitter broke again

  133. How did you like the PBC, scott?

  134. 7:10 + 7:17 comments, nice little setup there.

  135. First cook went really well.

  136. Twitter broke again?

    It is even funnier the third time!!

    Cholula is a breakfast lady. Tapatio is a lunch and dinner guy.

    You need ’em both.

  137. Hmm, I’ll look for it. Mrs. Jay will be happy to welcome a new hot sauce to the family fridge.

  138. Cholula has a wooden top. Order her from the amazon.

    Hi Ositer. How ya been?

  139. 7:10 + 7:17 comments, nice little setup there.

    Heh. Had to go back and look.

  140. El Pato makes a great green sauce and my favorite hot sauce is called Tamazula.

    Find him at the mercado solemente.

  141. How is it that nobody has tried to market a spicy breakfast cereal called “Count Cholula” yet?

  142. We have a great hispanic section at the store. It has Old El Paso and Pace salsa!

  143. Cherijos

  144. Chumpo knows!!! We keep 2 kinds of Tabasco on hand too

  145. Cheerijos

  146. PBC, accept no substitutes!

    http://www.barrelhousecooker.com/

  147. Chumpo, I don’t know if I have a cold or ebola

  148. Def ebola

  149. They have a better website than PBC.

  150. Oso, how’s your prostate?

  151. You need some chili.

    You got something and the something else on the plane. I drive most places I go because of the sick.
    Also the chicken fried steak I find at the various roadside cafes.

    I’m an afficianado.

    Best one yet is at a joint called georges in Cottonwood AZ. Second place Georges in Mojave CA.

  152. Anita went out in Saturday traffic to go to Costco. She took the 22 year old Lesbaru, in case she wanted to buy a TV.
    She was afraid it would get too wet in the PNW rain in the back of her truck.
    She brought home a 50″ Vizio 4K “Ultra HD” smart tv to a house that has no FIOS, no cable, no Sat-tv.
    So it goes…

  153. Did anybody decide not to dissuade anybody else from getting the mistletoe tramp stamp they drunkenly insisted on getting today?

  154. ChrisP ooooohhhh

  155. Frosted Fritos

  156. We can always watch Antenna-TV.
    FML…

  157. Fruitas Guatalupes

  158. That’ll look good with a Bluray. redbox has em now.

  159. Arroz Chex

  160. Chrispy, get an Amazon Fire stick. If you can stream netflix to your laptop, you can stream it to your new TV.

  161. Arroz Chex

    I

  162. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 12, 2015 10:54 pm

    PBC, accept no substitutes!

    Did they hang 99 recipes on the smokehouse door?

  163. Honey Pinches of Oats

  164. Tell me, is it appropriate to burn a BHC heretic at the stake?

  165. No, you smoke them in a PBC.

  166. PachukOs

  167. JotOs

  168. Guer O’s

  169. Hehahahah

  170. Meat sale.

  171. Don’t even want to tell you about my day.

  172. watching D’Souza video.

    That kid is an idiot. I mean – a highly educated idiot. But one nevertheless. He’s full of code words. Word salad.

  173. ba haaa haaa… He has to explain the word “elicit.” To funny. That’s not in the word-list of code words for him.

  174. Sorry you had a rough day, C arin. Here:

    http://is.gd/Hn5E08

  175. He’s full of code words. Word salad.
    ——–
    Ding!

  176. Wow – We can’t solve everything so the social safety net is the answer.

    ga.

  177. Sean loves me :)

    I love you too.

  178. Tell about your crazy day. How about a kona coffee?

  179. Other bartender who was supposed to work WITH me at 4 showed up so hungover she was basically useless. Ugh. SUcked to have to work and split tips.

    Finally I sent her home around 8 which mean ti had to open and close. and the day sucked.

    I’m going to seriously kill her.

  180. By “kona coffee” do you mean a big glass of wine? Because then yes.

  181. yep.

    zinfandel

  182. That sux. She got all the dinner tips and didn’t have to deal w the sat night zeros.

    Lame.

  183. My kids said “The Good Dinosaurs” was an excellent movie.

    I’ve never heard of it. I don’t know what they’re talking about.

  184. Yea I was really irritated. I’ve told her to NOT show up to a shift hunger over.

  185. that’s the worst. That and showing up drunk.

  186. IKR? Why drink before work? I mean, drink at the bar!

  187. Ugh, it sucks drinking at the bar, while working. You have to clean up hung over, then. That blows. Better to do it sober, then go to after hours.

  188. Sometimes you have to make sure the beer isn’t flat.

  189. Yup. Quality assurance! Only the best for our customers.

  190. Heh, if you can’t tell the beer is flat, you better be drunk!

  191. Well, you gotta keep checking, every 10 minutes or so. Never know when it might go bad.

  192. Yep, eternal vigilance.

  193. X Ray, are you coming down this way before Tempe In The Sun 2?

  194. If I could, through myself, set your spirit free
    I’d lead your derp away,
    see you break, break away
    Into the light and to the day

  195. oh yeah, the derp. I’m up past it.

  196. Welcome to the tired zone.

  197. It would be great if we had virtual darts we could throw or something.

  198. Steel darts would be more fun.

  199. Mornin’

    http://i.imgur.com/CqTI6YW.gifv

  200. Working, after spending 7 weeks on the couch, hurts like hell.

  201. ww

  202. Day offffff

  203. Kind of a muddy mess in MN today, it’s been warm and rainy, all my MN homies keep telling me how lucky we are to have missed all the snow and ice so far. Honestly I wish it would freeze so the wonder dog could get some exercise in the backyard and quit being such a tremendous needy, hairy and muddy pain in the ass.

    http://is.gd/UXgx3b

  204. Home between masses to eat breakfast. Headed back in 20 minutes to hang out at the nuns’s house.

  205. Schwing

  206. packy packy

  207. Do you know how different my life would be if this was NSFW?

    http://is.gd/c3DjDk

  208. Comment by Car in on December 13, 2015 9:16 am

    Day offffff

    So what’s your planned workout today?

  209. Xbrad,
    Amazon is a built-in app. as is Youtube, Hulu, Netflix, VuDu, Pandora, and iHeart(whatever that is.
    The thing is still in the sealed box…

  210. iHeart is basically internet radio. It allows you to pull up radio stations from around the country.

  211. Workout?

    Not sure yet. Cleaning the house first.

  212. Nap time.

  213. Sadly, Mr. Chumpo, no trips to the SD area are planned for the foreseeable future.

  214. I thought Chumps was more LA than SD. My bad.

  215. The next time I expect to see him is when he picks me/Sean/Sean’s penis/Lipstick/PajamaMomma up for TITS2.

  216. Yeah, I sent you and Sean and Chumpo an email this morning, I’ll be in Cali all next week.

  217. I don’t know if Sean’s penis is coming.

    *drops mic

  218. SMH

    http://tinyurl.com/jbdxjkj

  219. The perfect SS gift

    http://www.firebox.com/product/7314/Grow-Your-Own-Escargot

    Just don’t name them

  220. I was watching snails race. Each snail was marked with a letter to keep track of who is leading.

    Look at the “S” car go!

  221. *removes check-mark for December funny*

  222. Dead?

  223. Shhhh – napping

  224. NAPTIME IS OVER.

  225. So Paula is taking her step-mom to the (Real) Kenny Rogers concert tonight for a Christmas gift. She inherited her love for the old country singers from her biological mom who died when she was a teen.

  226. He just played over in Windsor not too long ago. The morning zoo DJ from Detroit went to the concert completely star-struck and met the man in person. Said he’s a very nice guy.

  227. Getting ready to head for the airport. Flying to Denver, then Ontario CA.

    Y’all be excellent to each other. Or not, because that is a lot funnier.

    http://is.gd/Vhx0TC

  228. Ontario Airport- When your company is too cheap to pay for LAX or PSP.

  229. Safe travels Pupster. Don’t get drunk at the hotel and wander around asking to borrow a towel clad in only your boxers

  230. ” asking to borrow a towel clad in only your boxers”

    seems like a popular request –

    i worked with a guy that did that at a hotel in The Netherlands, while on a company trip… a few months later it got worse

  231. Spoilsport.

  232. Jimbro, any snow up your way?

  233. Okay, Cyn – sent you an email with a picture of our “tree”

  234. We used to send stuff to a company in Ontario, California. Post office would return it to us half the time with a snippy note that said “International mail requires extra postage”

  235. It”s been so warm here that the grass is still growing.

  236. Nothing yet. They’re talking about snow and ice in The County overnight tonight. We’ve got bare grass and it’s still mostly green.

  237. No tree for us yet, probably once our kid gets home.

  238. Where do they ship the live trees from out in NM Pepe? Maine and Atlantic Canada ship trees all down the east coast. I can’t imagine they ship out west. Maybe Oregon?

  239. I’m finishing up shopping on amazon and I saw a deal of the day on knit hats for NFL teams for $9.99. Turns out all the $9.99 deals are for teams with losing records. Patriots? $31.99. A few more injuries and losses they’ll be back to $9.99.

  240. First text from the Real Kenny Rogers concert: “This is a bit like a nursing home here”

  241. saw a post on a dude with a 1″ penis; thought bummer…
    read more and found a “doctor” tried to circumcise the guy and fucked him up even further – major bummer…

    anyway a video on the subject that is actually interesting:

    http://tinyurl.com/ppru6h3

    hypospadias

  242. I made a dinner of sliced mushrooms, shallots, cut up chorizo and beef ribs in a covered dutch oven pan with the last of a boxed red wine in there for liquid. Came out pretty good.

  243. Dandelions were blooming last week.

    Real crappy year to own a ski slope.

  244. The embryology of the urogenital system along with all of embryology is fascinating. Anywhere your body forms a tube there are opportunities for it to mess up. As a student I saw a hypospadias repair but didn’t really understand the procedure very well. At the end, for a dressing, the surgeon used a clear plastic cup which he filled with some foaming agent that surrounded the kid’s wang. The foaming agent solidified so all you saw was the foley catheter poking out of a little plastic cup. Or as I like to call it: Saturday night.

  245. One of the boys is getting a season pass to the local ski hill for Christmas. We’ve already lamented our poor decision.

  246. Any bets on when Serena Williams finally has a full-blown meltdown and has to be institutionalized?

  247. No idea where commercial trees come from down here. We cut one out of a pasture.

  248. I planted a bunch of assorted pine trees on the north side of my house for a windbreak when I moved in here. They were about a foot or two tall then and now they must be at least 12 to 14 feet tall. We have a fake tree.

  249. Penelope is being Miss Community Service and helping set up a local group for older people who live alone so that they can check in on each other daily. One guy fell and was there for a couple of days. She is trying to figure out what to call it. Any ideas?

  250. Lemon Party Hotline?

  251. Not exactly what her group will do but this is a starting framework:

    http://agchurches.org/Sitefiles/Default/Content/Senior%20Adults/naming%20your%20group.pdf

    Mix, match, add.

  252. http://www.team-building-bonanza.com/list-of-funny-team-names.html

    Mix,match, etc.

  253. So, we’re all just gonna pretend like this poat isn’t a stinking, fetid corpse?

  254. DIAL

    Daily Inquiry and Laughs

  255. Lifealert…..

  256. Douches Inebriated and Lurking

  257. Grinch! (TBS, if you want to watch it with me)

  258. SMILE

    Sean M Is (a)Lurvely Ecdysias

  259. Geezer Check In Solutions

  260. The foaming agent solidified so all you saw was the foley catheter poking out of a little plastic cup. Or as I like to call it: Saturday night.

    HA!

  261. She is trying to figure out what to call it. Any ideas?

    Hot
    Elderlies
    Lookin’ for a
    Pickling

  262. Grandmas
    In
    Lifesaving
    Functions

  263. All hyped up on cold meds. Acronym generator compromised

  264. Friends Checking on Friends

    (this may be a euphemism)

  265. Senior
    Hotline
    In
    Transition

  266. Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but my hip is broken, so call me, maybe?

  267. Adult Friend Finder

    (this may already be taken??)

  268. Our
    Liason
    Daily.

  269. Senior Touch

    (barfs)

  270. Granddaddy’s Fingers

  271. Action
    Senior
    Socializing

  272. Seniors
    Helping
    And
    Giving

  273. Friends
    Of
    Geriatrics
    In
    Enabling
    Situations

  274. Pupster with the ear worm!

  275. Better
    Online
    Organizing
    Between
    Seniors

  276. Seniors
    Having
    Abundant
    Retirement
    Time

  277. OT MiL is refusing to leave her house. Dan put up post its all over her house. CALL DAN. He told her several times to call and leave a voice mail. Just call. Check in. Daily. SiL lives less than a mile away. Don’t get me started! (Dan is putting MiL on waiting lists at Assisted Living/Memory Care places.)

  278. I’m wearing my tiara. Dan: I like having a princess make my drinks.

  279. When
    Everyone
    Retires
    They
    Have
    Excellent
    Responsive
    Skills

  280. WTFITS?

  281. Room under the stairs finally cleaned out. I’ve been putting that off for months.

  282. I have one more storage “space” to clean out. Then I need to tackle my dad’s room.

  283. I did the furnace room a few months back. And the work room last summer. I’m not going at break-neck pace. Slow and steady wins the race.

  284. Sean with the MCPO!!!!

  285. Are You Dead Yet?, doesn’t have a nice acronym.

  286. Damn, how many of Leon’s boxes does this check?

    http://tinyurl.com/z4geape

  287. ANDY

    Am not dead yet

  288. Daily
    Email
    Concerning
    Our
    Mother’s
    Potential
    Of
    Severe
    Emergency

  289. I thought our local lots get trees from Espanola. AKA Kit Carson. Our Sam’s didn’t get live trees this year. Fewer loss leaders. Tighter inventory.

  290. I’m Not Dead Yet.

  291. Comment by PepeLp on December 13, 2015 8:39 pm

    Damn, how many of Leon’s boxes does this check?

    Why do I assume that she has a German accent.

  292. Comment by osoloco11 on December 13, 2015 8:24 pm

    I’m wearing my tiara. Dan: I like having a princess make my drinks.

    Next he’s going to make you wear a fru-fru pink dress.

  293. Olympic swimmer.

  294. Friends
    Urgently
    Protecting the
    Aged

  295. I have no dresses. I do have an apron. Somewhere.

  296. Getting
    Elders
    Response
    In
    Time
    Regardless
    Of
    Loot

  297. You didn’t buy a Cinderella dress while at the Rat Shack?

  298. Nah. I’m Blue Dress Sleeping Beauty.

  299. Many
    Elders
    Telephoning (that they’re still)
    Alive

  300. First Day at WDW, I saw a Stitch as Yoda pin. I was still making up my mind which pin I needed. Long story short. I should’ve bought it Day 1.

  301. Mucho
    Elders
    Ayuda
    Telefono

    (Bilingual outreach)

  302. Fan-cee!

  303. Grannies
    In
    Miserable
    Positions

  304. Grannies
    In
    Miserable
    Positions

    I’m pretty sure if I search that online, I won’t find a charity.

  305. Dear Gawd, I’m not searching ANY of these.

  306. Supporting
    People
    Aged and
    Needing
    Kindness

  307. O M G Y’all. Ran out of Kerrygold. Had to use regular butter on my bread.

  308. Buying the
    Undertaker
    Time by
    Telephone

  309. Bravely
    Dedicated to
    Seniors’
    Maintenance

  310. Phoning the
    Elderly
    Nightly
    Is
    Special

  311. Caring for
    Others with
    Crucial
    Kindness

  312. Elderly
    Loners

    Check
    In
    Daily

  313. Dialing
    In
    Caring and
    Kindness

  314. BTW I’m drinking cheap bourbon and eating Sam’s Club butter.

  315. Coordinating
    Our
    Older
    Citizens’
    Health
    Is
    Essential

  316. I’m picturing Oso sprawled out on the couch, a stick of butter in one hand, a bottle of wild turkey in the other, tiara hanging half off her head.

  317. I’m at the computer. Everything else is totes legit!

  318. Cheap butter is for suckers.

  319. Room under the stairs finally cleaned out. I’ve been putting that off for months.

    *picturing Carin sweeping out Harry Potter’s piles of old school crap*

  320. Scoot, I know. I know.

  321. *picturing Carin sweeping out Harry Potter’s piles of old school crap*

    She’s gonna find all her missing cables hidden back there.

  322. During Winter break I want to try out Wiser’s rib recipe in the PBC. I need some advice from you experienced PBCers:

    How many black candles do you arrange around the smoker? Can I draw the pentagram on the picnic table, instead of right on the patio? And what is the ‘ceremonial dagger’ for?

    The instruction manual is way too vague about this.

  323. Marlon Brando called to say that your mom likes the expensive butter.

  324. Had Kerrygold. Meh. House brand is just fine for me.

  325. We don’t write this stuff down, laura. You broke the first rule.

  326. CoAl…ick! I saw that movie! J’ames…the hot peppers must’ve ruined your taste buds.

  327. PBC Fight Club v. Tiara Fight Club.

  328. Marlon Brando called to say that your mom likes the expensive butter.

    LULZ

  329. We don’t write this stuff down, laura. You broke the first rule.

    OK, now I know what the dagger is for.

  330. CoAlex for the win!

  331. …and I’m ‘never’ gonna get Scott to wear this stupid purple Dark Lord robe. He already has three really nice bathrobes that he never wears.

    How am I going to get him to lounge around outdoors in this cheap purple tyvek thing that was stapled to the instruction manual?

    And, he’s tall and this thing is short. The neighbors are gonna see his junk. I don’t understand how this is supposed to “…enhance his Dark Power” (PBC Dark Lord Secrets, p.9).

  332. One of us…One of us….(Really need a PBC. FU HOA)

  333. Showing off his junk is enhancing his Dark Power.

  334. Can we all agree that the lighter hair in the header is blonde not grey?

  335. Anita ordered a new robe from Amazon.
    Her robe has been white for the last 30 years.
    Her new robe is blue!
    We both see a person in a blue robe and are startled:
    Who the fuk are you?!?
    It’s amusing.

  336. Anita has a new blue robe AND a smart TV? ChrisP needs to step it up!

  337. Damn it. I’ve had a headache creeping up all day. I’m starting to feel it behind my damn eyes.

  338. Hope it isn’t anything sinus CoAl.

  339. XBrad, that’s half an hour from Rocketboy. :(

  340. CoAlex,
    I hope it passes quickly. I once had a severe headache that felt like someone was trying to dig out from behind my right eye with a pick.
    It kept growing and growing.
    I got a CT scan, went to the ER, was tested for TMJ.
    No diagnosis…
    It lasted for a year!!!
    Diagnosis: “Cluster Headache”.
    Oh yeah? For A Fuckin’ year?
    Good luck, my friend…

  341. Did anybody stop to think after the fact that it might not be such a “funny prank” to spritz the inside of anybody else’s tent with bear pheromones while they were asleep today?

  342. HA! No. Wait, what are you asking Sean?

  343. MMM 202 @559am.

  344. Retail rant I saved for you guys. HBA in retail speak has always = Health And Beauty Aids. Always. WalMart has been saying H&W for the last few years. Health and Wellness. No emphasis on “Beauty”. All official communication is Health & Wellness. Last 4 years. ALL communication. 24/7. I’m the only person in The Club that doesn’t call it HBA.

  345. Taking off the tiara. Calling it a night.

  346. G’night osita. Hope you get good wiener snuggles* in bed tonight.

    *euphemism

  347. After getting rejected I was very depressed
    Sat and wrote some def doo-doo rhymes at my rest
    When I used to come to parties they’d make me pay
    I would have to derp to get on the mic and rap that day

  348. ” I’m starting to feel it behind my damn eyes.”

    someone should call Colex right now and tell him to get tested for ebola…

    he needs to wear one of these suits before going to the hospital tho
    http://tinyurl.com/ztzd7sk


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