Santa’s Coming!


This picture is a Kingfisher and it has nothing to do with Christmas. It was taken by a wildlife photographer named Alan McFadyen in Scotland. It took him years to nail the shot he wanted.

It’s that time of year again.







  1. Wakey wakey

  2. I have to think of a gift for my victim.

  3. Got about 3 hours of sleep, but I got through enough of the documents I was reading to get what the thing does and what you might use it for. Also the very beginning of the document contained an apostrophized plural and made me want to go on a 57-state vandalism spree.

  4. Wow, saw XBrad’s link on Cali salaries. No wonder the state is screwed. No regular public employee should make over $100K.

    Some bear examination “Undercover Cop $1.69 million” Seriously?

  5. CA is horked for so, so many reasons.

  6. Poo-pourri was on a lightening sale on Amazon Leon. That would have made a good gift.

    (I passed but I may live to regret that)

  7. Lightning. Lightening is something you do to coffee.

  8. I just braved Walmart to grab a wreath hanger and saw a few things suitable for gifting my SS victim. Now I’m killing time at Starbucks prior to a noon time case. I swear, noon time for a start time sucks. By then the system is bogging down and delays are inevitable but if you’re not on time you’re listed as the cause for the delay. If you protest too loudly you earn the label of disruptive.

    –Sips Christmas Blend coffee angrily, notices all red cup, racks slide—

  9. Time to go to work and try not to spend too much time prepping for my next job by researching graph databases.

  10. Whatever Hotspur. It’s too early for this shit.

  11. True. I don’t normally do that until about 10 or 1030.

  12. 10:30

  13. Grammar/typo correction is tangled web – isn’t it?

    Round and round we go.

  14. This is bullcrap.

  15. If I were doing secret santa, and had Carin or Mare’s name, this is hat I would get them.

  16. What, a red solo cup? That was my gift!

    *runs out of blog, slams door

  17. FILL



    Huh, gather ’round the Christmas sock!

  18. When did 4 become a “mass”? Media is blabbing about “mass” shootings. They are using the number four as the floor to justify “mass”. When the EFF did four become a mass and who makes the rule on this? I always thought more than I could count on my fingers would be considered a mass. All you smurty smurt sciency types out there…. Is there a numerical value for when a “mass” occurs??

  19. Ugh. Five hours of sleep last night. The Sudafed I took before I went to bed seems to have helped; I woke up at 6:30 and could barely get back to sleep. I’m going to be on my feet all day, which I guess will be good since I’ll keep awake.

  20. I couldn’t type 10:30. My colon was occupied.


  21. *inserts rimming joke*

  22. Mass = white guy did it, and it’s more than 1.

  23. Workplace violence it is.

  24. Mass shootings happen every weekend in Chicago.

  25. one = single
    two = double or couple
    three = triple or few
    four to ten = several or numerous
    over ten = mass

    It’s in Strunk & White.

  26. Over ten is called “Tuesday night” for your mom.

  27. If I were planning a terror attack – or any crime, really – I can think of no better way to scope out the terrain than to get whatever job I could at the target site.

  28. Or – Leon – why not just plan the attack where you were familiar. That’s the first thought I had. I mean you didn’t necessarily seek the job out for some future attack. But as you became radicalized – you figured why not just go with where you know.

  29. Both scenarios are plausible, depends on how long/deep the ISIS connection really goes here.

  30. Im thinking they were planning a attack at another location and this was a more a crime of opportunity / circumstance. These folks were wearing armor with LBE (load bearing equipment) to carry their extra mags along with improvised explosive devices (which they had pre-constructed). Their readiness indicates pre-planning.

  31. Im at the dmv.

    There has to be a better way.

  32. J’ames is right. How many people were shot last month in the NOLA park shooting? 14? 15? Doesn’t matter if the shooter isn’t white.

  33. Look around you Chumpo and realize that the people surrounding you are able to vote in elections

  34. Jimbro – what do you know about Bell’s Palsy? A friend’s 9 y/o has come down with it in the last two days.

  35. and we’re in the gd emergency room again, after we don’t call our doctor again. *not pointing fingers while angry

  36. did I mention that elliot might need surgery? been vomiting all morning, had to come home 30 mins to take him out of daycare, because we were too sick 5 mins away. little shit ate something, his stomach is full.

  37. Rosetta on vacation.

  38. this day really sucks, and I have to vent, sorry.

  39. good thing it’s kickboxing day, that bag is gonna get its ass kicked

  40. Chumpo has reminded me that I need to get my auto registration paperwork in the mail soon lest I share his fate.

  41. Go kill all the people at your work. Make some pipe bombs.

  42. Hope it’s something he can pass or regurgitate, Jay. Bad times.

  43. doesn’t sound like it, leon. sounds like he’s tried. he’s a vacuum anyway, anything not nailed down is in his mouth.

  44. I have a ball that was surgically removed from a black lab.

    20 years ago it cost about $400.

  45. yet another iv while we dink around with the diagnosis, again.

  46. California DMV is actually pretty squared away compared to Washington or Indiana.

  47. Sorry about your horrible day, J’Ames. If it’s C. Diff., she should consider the transplant option. Gross but amazingly effective.

  48. Re: the Kingfisher pic above:

  49. transplant?

  50. For c.diff, a poop transplant, to get good bacteria reintroduced into your wife.

  51. I see…

    big bowl of chili, lots of beans please!

  52. xbrad, posting pictures of a crucifix is racist. just sayin.

  53. Probably not necessary (chili) because I’m already full of shit.

  54. Not too common in kids Carin. It’s a Facial Nerve palsy leading to loss of motor function of the facial muscles on one side of the face. I asked the pediatrician who did the sedation for my case and she said the common causes that they can do something about are varicella and herpes virus. They give immune globulin +/- corticosteroids.

    Bummer for the kid. Hopefully it resolves with either time or treatment.

  55. Bacteriotherapy sounds much better. Fecal transplant just sounds foul.

  56. The APRNs that talked to our nursing class about this procedure were really excited about it. Because it is currently unknown how to classify this procedure in our healthcare system, the transplant itself is usually ‘free.’ They charge you for the colonoscopy and tests.

  57. The media is so damn ignorant.

    2000 rounds of ammunition is not a news story.

  58. she’s up for it, laura.

  59. more interesting to me is the possible reaction between zofran and lexapro

  60. Well, wow, you’re just going to have to keep us updated. We do not require a great deal of detail, mind you…

    Did a physician already talk to you about it?

  61. not a thing was mentioned but I was gonna ask.

  62. Well-wishes for Mrs. In Ames and Elliott; bottle of single-malt for Jay.

  63. I’m a tequila guy, so pass the anejo

  64. only one that in elliot, he’s a hippy, not a hipster.

  65. that would be t in elliot, stupid autocucumber


  67. Sorry, J’Ames. It will get better eventually.

  68. He’ll say are you married?
    She’ll say no man,
    But you can do the job
    When you’re in town.

  69. amazing that I’m not sick, she’s had this for a month

  70. Hot spur found his mother’s day card

  71. “This too shall pass….”

  72. My mom just got scammed.

    She gave her CC info to hackers to fix her computer.

  73. Sorry about your day, Jay. Best to Mrs. Jay.

    Does she find that Zofran is effective? It is not for me.

  74. Oh, dear, Scott. I hope you got her to cancel the cards ASAP.

  75. When you let someone take remote control of your computer what can they do?

  76. Can they copy the whole thing?

  77. What can’t they do?

  78. they can copy it, but also they can put back doors in to access anything from her computer, with her identity. very bad things can happen.

  79. Oh no, Scott. Maybe they will use her computer to send spam messages? After the shopping spree, that is.

  80. Puter is compromised. Yer screwed.

  81. was it bitlocker? they encrypt your computer, and hold it ransom for the unlock code. that is probably the best of the worst.

  82. it needs to be wiped, formatted aND reinstalled.

  83. Tell me she didnt use the “save password” feature… cause if she did that means all her accounts are potentially compromised also.

  84. she’s negative for c diff so now what.

  85. so sick of this. er for iv and nausea medicine.

  86. My friend tipped me off to a coupon code for a surefire weapon light on Black Friday. About a $400 light for $120. I just got this in an email:


  87. They really need to have a bars in hospitals J’ames. I mean – just a stiff drink every so bit. Calm the nerves.

  88. Jay, mom has been suffering similar symptoms for a month now as well. If they *do* come up with a diagnosis, please let me know.

  89. Has she seen a gastroenterologist? Or is she booked for one?

  90. This happened on her laptop. I had her disconnect and call the cc company. New card on the way.

    She’s currently on her CPU changing passwords.

    Laptop will go to a geek.

    Stupid Mac.

  91. Good on SureFire for honoring the code.

  92. Yeah,I think whoever let that slip through will be searching for a new job.

  93. Laptop will go to a geek.

    I know a guy…..

  94. Good with Macs?

  95. Need a smoker? Local HD has this

    Marked down to $69.

  96. Good with Macs?


  97. How come NO ONE is talking about this mysterious “wife”. She doesn’t look Middle Eastern. I quick interview with the family should be able to shed some light on this.

    Like – for instance – how the time frame of when he brought her back/ age of the baby don’t match up.

  98. I guess that’s just not an interesting question.

  99. I should have the laptop and some point tomorrow.

  100. Comment by Car in on December 3, 2015 4:49 pm

    How come NO ONE is talking about this mysterious “wife”. She doesn’t look Middle Eastern. I quick interview with the family should be able to shed some light on this.

    Like – for instance – how the time frame of when he brought her back/ age of the baby don’t match up.

    I’ve said to my boss and on the HQ that the wife is important. I doubt that she was a passive creature who was lead astray. More likely she was the one who pushed him over the edge. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was deliberately looking for someone in the US to turn.

  101. Im toying with a scenario where ole Farook was a cell leader and they were preparing for another target. But Farook is emotionally imbalanced and something sets him off. So he leaves and goes and gets the batshit crazy wife and hits this target. Too much munitions at the house for this to have been the target / operation. Im betting they were planning a Mall or some other high vis location.

  102. I vote they extract all the info avail from the third one, then frog march his ass to his public execution with the dipped in pig blood bullets and a pronounced non-islamic diposal of the remains. All broadcast live direct to Al-Jazeera.

  103. I haven’t heard of a third one, just rumors.

  104. Im toying with a scenario where ole Farook was a cell leader and they were preparing for another target. But Farook is emotionally imbalanced and something sets him off. So he leaves and goes and gets the batshit crazy wife and hits this target. Too much munitions at the house for this to have been the target / operation. Im betting they were planning a Mall or some other high vis location.

    No, I think this was the intended target. The first target. They figured that they could hit it and escape, and then follow up with other attacks.

    This is actually more worrisome, because it changes the dynamics of how jihadis are operating. Before, their attacks were generally suicidal. You’d create a big splash and die well for Allah. They seem to believe, however, that the US is weak enough, and they have enough support/resources, that they can conduct these lower profile attacks and get away with it.

    My guess is that he was at the party in order to later claim that he left due to an emergency at home, or that he was elsewhere in the building when the shooting started and escaped.

  105. They deleted everything the day before.

  106. The eyewitness who saw the black SUV may have saved the day. Early on it’s all they had, and it may have prevented them from moving to the next target.

  107. Yeah, I thought “You saw a black SUV, sure, how unimaginative. Probably one of those people who like to insert themselves in the action.” Whoops.

    But they had to have more planned with that amount of explosives.

    AND, what about those other guys who came over and were working in the garage?

  108. I’ll need help evaluating things overheard at Disneyworld. Yesterday, little girl exiting bathroom tells her mom “I just went, and now my hands smell like pee” or fat woman in scooter at Mexico Pavilion “You know how you love some salsa. Nom nom nom”

  109. That is awesome, chumpo, made me laugh!

  110. Sorry xbrad, still no idea. And I will be strongly suggesting a trip to a specialist.

  111. What are her symptoms, Jay? I missed that day at school.

  112. little girl exiting bathroom tells her mom “I just went, and now my hands smell like pee”

    Ha, maybe it’s a gender-confused little boy.

  113. Mom called apple, they are going to fix it for free.

    Disaster averted.

  114. Has anything interesting happened lately?

  115. Ask your mom.

  116. nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. For a month.

  117. Lippy, maybe her hands should smell like industrial soap? Dan and I both were laughing.

  118. nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. For a month.

    Don’t let any lazy doctor try to write it off as stress if that is not the case.

  119. she has c-diff for a while, but that test came back negative today.

  120. Jay, has she lost a bunch of weight since getting sick?

  121. And BTW, Oso, you suddenly popped up at Disney. Were we informed of your plans beforehand and if not, why not???

  122. Is she violently allergic to dogs?

  123. BREATHE!

  124. * squirts stuff on paddles and rubs them together *

    * throws switch *


  125. Did anybody get kind of a weird vibe off anybody else’s new Pakistani wife today?

  126. Nah, their wife was fine. Their mistress, OTOH…

  127. Ka-THUMP


  128. What is that stuff they put on the paddles?

  129. Honey.

  130. Canadians use maple syrup, the freaks.

  131. No customer reviews…

  132. Young Tom Brady (really)

  133. not one off-color joke about Santa coming.

    You people really are a disappointment lately.

  134. Probably staged but amusing if real:

    nsfw language

  135. Probably staged but amusing if real:

    And now we know how Rosetta finds his dinner every night.

  136. You ever notice how CPR never works in the movies unless you scream at them and tell them to fight? Why isn’t this vital part ever included in the CPR training curriculum?

  137. Why isn’t this vital part ever included in the CPR training curriculum?

    My uncle he had a major cardiac arrest about 6 years ago. Sadly he was also deaf.

    Do you know how hard it is to give someone CPR while dramatically signing “DAMN YOU, YOU BASTARD, DON’T YOU DIE ON ME!!!”?

    I miss my uncle.

    And the fucking tendonitis is still killing me.

  138. “Steak is for effing taxpayers”

    Notice how those females are (if this is real) writing foul-mouthed checks that the guy with them may have to pay. Not fair, not cool.

  139. CPR is a scam.

  140. CPR is a scam.

    *cups hand behind ear

    eh? what’s that you’re saying?

  141. by the way, last two days on the air were, for the most part, incredible.

    I actually think I may have a future in this biz we call show.

  142. On the what now?

  143. The moment I logged in on my work computer this morning, I found out that I was required to take workplace violence awareness training. They took out the comment form from last year’s training, or I would have said something about the timing.

  144. Wiser,

    That’s only because you kept it Hostage-free.

    Just got back from Munich and trying to get over the jet lag. Been a while since I’ve done long-haul flying and the 12 hr Munich-Houston leg was brutal

    Munich was fun. Made it to the Hofbrauhouse, which was very cool.

  145. Hostage-free is a scam.

  146. Wife left today for the annual xmas shopping trip to Chicago with her girlfriends.

    Just me, the sullen youngest and two shih-tzu’s to keep this crap together until Monday. Odds are we’ll make it.

    Getting ready to watch the pilot of Ash vs. the Evil Dead.

    Also: SS gift purchased and will be in the mail in the am. You poor, unlucky bastard/bitch.

  147. Hostage-free is a scam.

    Kurt Schlichter is an honorary Hostage, IMO

  148. Phat, Mr. RFH and I spent two weeks in Germany, and the famous Hofbrauhaus probably had the worst (and wurst) food there. I’ll have to look up where we had weisswurst in Munich, it was somehow related to Lowenbrau, and it was excellent.

  149. Question:

    Do you think Hillary rocks in bed?

    If not, do you think that Bill would have hunted less pussy if she was taking care of business?

    I, for one, do.

  150. Question:

    Do you think Hillary rocks in bed?

    yannow, in just the right light, the Hill can look fucking amazingly fuckable…

  151. the right light must be pitch dark then.

  152. I wouldn’t hit it with dbrad’s dick.

  153. Or xbrad.

  154. A little less harpying, a little more staying home and baking cookies, who knows?

  155. barfs

  156. I think she chose not to take care of business. Bill had an affair with Gennifer Flowers for years, no way Hillary didn’t find out about it. She just didn’t care, as long as she had the perks of being Arkansas First Lady then FLOTUS.

  157. Roamie,

    Can’t speak to the food. I just had two liters of beer and a couple of pretzels.

  158. I’m not a fan of German food.

    The two days I was there I ate at the Turkish place across the street from the hotel and the Irish bar behind it, Molly Malones:

  159. Jay, I assume they have tested Mrs. J for Giardia and/or given her a round or two of Flagyl.

    Maybe there is something in your water supply that she is super-sensitive to?

  160. What?

    Wust plate, sweet red kraut, mashed p’s and green beans.
    2-5 litters of beer.


  161. So far, ‘Ash vs. the Evil Dead’ is pretty fucked up.

    I regret trying to watch this sober, but I say that about most things.

    Like Church.

  162. is that on Netflix/Amazon?

  163. I married a kraut so I learned to like and cook schnitzel, sauerbraten, rinderrouladen, etc.

  164. One of Anitas church friends just posted a picture on FaceChimp:

    “This is my step-ladder.
    I never knew my real ladder.”

    WTF, O?


  165. Flannagans in Nuremberg was better.

  166. Chumpo,

    It’s on Starz.

    It’s an update on the Evil Dead/Army of Darkness movies, about 30 years on.

    Bruce Campbell still makes me laugh.

  167. “I just had two liters of beer and a couple of pretzels.”

    the steamed dumpling dessert may not sound good…. but wow it is.

    or it could have been the beer

  168. OK,

    Just finished it. If you’re a fan of ‘Army of Darkness’, you’ll like it.

    I liked it and will watch more episodes this weekend. It helps that it’s directed by Sam Raimi, who did the originals.

  169. Jam,

    I’ve been to Germany A LOT over the course of my AF career (mainly Frankfurt and Ramstein). Love the country, love the people (hello frauleins!), love the beer, just not a big fan of the food.

    I guess I’m in the minority on this.


  171. If not, do you think that Bill would have hunted less pussy if she was taking care of business?

    I, for one, do.

    I disagree. He was nailing all those women because he could. It wasn’t to satisfy himself sexually, it was to feed his ego. Hillary could have banged him in a threesome every night with Gennifer Flowers and he’d still be hunting strange pussy.

  172. Although CoAlex should be forever banned for the image he just put into my head (Hillary threesome), he is correct.

  173. Phat, do you think Hillary wears the strap-on, or receives it?


  174. Hey fuckers!!!!

  175. No, wait…crap. Anyway….hay h2 fuckers!!!

  176. BANNED!

  177. You know, Huma is not a bad looking woman…


  178. I’m banned?

  179. I’m banned

  180. Top? TSK9?

    Where you been? How many bullwhips are up your ass right now?

  181. I’m confused a little bit

  182. Yes, but I’ve been “banned” xbrad

  183. um xbrad, that’s just slightly personal, but lets just say “enough”

  184. Huh, I don’t *think* Wiser banned you.

  185. No, phat is trying to ban me for putting horrific images in his mind.

  186. I’ve tried to log in, can remember my old user/password…but apparently not necessary – so bikram is TSK9

  187. COAlex,

    EXACTLY! Thank god Mrs. Phat is gone for the weekend and I have mindbleach on hand.

  188. Just saw that Jason Isbell will be in St. Louis in Feb!

    I was a big fan of his back when he was in the Drive-By-Truckers, but he has taken up to another level.

    His songwriting was great before:

  189. mmm, weiswurst, Flagyl and mindbleach, oh yeah!

  190. Scott Weiland of STP found dead.

    What a shock.

    Though I was surprised to learn I’m older than him.

  191. She loves to derp
    She loves to sing
    She does everything
    She loves to move
    She loves to groove
    She loves the lovin’ things

  192. Drive By Truckers were a great band. Thanks for the reminder Phat.

  193. STFU and give me a stressectomy, doctor.

  194. You’ll need to shave your balls for that.

    Oh, stress-ectomy, I thought you wanted a vasectomy.

  195. Besides, everyone knows boobs relieve stress. So get with making the BBF now. Chop chop.

  196. House update: contractor said he re-roofed Mr. RFH’s shop. If they did, they did it in a day. Possible (it’s 24′ x 24′) but not the current trend. I never saw any shingles, and every other material has sat in the driveway for a minimum of two weeks before being used. There are no leftover shingles sitting around, no roofing nails on the ground. I’m climbing up on a ladder this morning once the sun is up to take a look. The broken window is still broken. (3 weeks) The kids’ windows now have drywall where they were reframed, still can’t put the curtains back up until they finish painting and put the trim back. Wondering how cold it’s going to be when they finally re-roof the house.

  197. It’s sad when contractors need to be supervised like toddlers. My contractor is getting ready to retire in the next year or two but he promises to be around for small jobs for a while. He’s made a good living by working on doctor’s houses referred by his wife who is a nurse. Plus he’s reliable.


  199. nw post

  200. Later gators, off to the bone factory

  201. On the other hand, I don’t have to attend a Christmas concert this year. No 4th grade recorder torture!!! And a friend of mine is hosting some kind of Mary Kay-pyramid foodie party (Wildtree), so I’m playing along to get 10 meals in the freezer. After that, the kids will be out of school and can cook dinner.

  202. Did Erica respond promptly?

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