Titicut Thursday







I haven’t read a beard update from Sean for a while. Stay strong.


  1. oy!!

  2. Mrs Potato(e) Head is looking pretty lovely there,,,,

  3. at least when compared to http://tinyurl.com/qej9j3v

  4. i never before realized how racist the Michelin man is…

  5. I see TiFW made an appearance yesterday, hope she is feeling better.

  6. The French Mirage reminded me of “If it’s ugly, it’s British. If it’s weird, It’s French. If it’s ugly and weird, it’s Russian.”

  7. Worky worky. Y’all have a good day.

  8. Weird schedule continues today. I have a conference down in MA that requires driving on Rt 128. When I used to live in MA I wouldn’t think twice about it. After so many years of living in Maine I’m no longer used to traffic. Once I’m in the midst of it there’s really no problems, just the dread of getting underway. I know, suck it up buttercup.

  9. I wouldn’t mind having one of these sleeping bags:


    Pretty sure I wouldn’t want to pay for it (I have no idea how much it costs and don’t want to know). As it is my heeler chews the straps and buckles on the LL Bean bags we already have.

  10. wakey wakey

  11. I have a tl;dr story regarding the old dude my son got in an accident with.

  12. How was the “don’t fight ISIS or ISIS wins” meme/statement/whatever started? Did Obama or a news anchor say that?

  13. Let’s hear it, Carin.

  14. So … here it is … for Mare … about that guy who hit Matt. A homeschool mom/friend (Cathy) was talking to a long-time friend of her’s who had JUST attended the funeral for a neighbor who died in a car accident. Yes. Same one.

    Cathy asked her friend if this was the neighbor who she had told her a million stories of through the years- the neighborhood grump/ all the kids afraid of him/ she’s gotten into verbal altercations with. Apparently the guy was a real bastard. For years Cathy has been hearing about this horrible neighbor.

    THIS was the guy .

    Of course it was the WIFE who died – not the grump. But apparently he’s isolated the entire family -and hardly anyone showed up for the funeral – kids don’t like him. The wife was a nice/meek little thing – but he ruled the roost. Isn’t that always how these things always go?

    She said he didn’t even seem sad or remorseful at the funeral.

    The family is moving him into assisted living and I guess there’s also some dementia going on.

  15. Wow, although the “moving him into assisted living” should have happened awhile ago and stripped of his keys too.

  16. That’s it?

  17. Shouldn’t you be in traffic Jimbro?

  18. I figure I can leave around 1000, 1100 if I push it. But I still need to get ready, pack a bag and clean my truck out. That’ll take less than an hour.

  19. Now you know why he didn’t even seem remorseful at the accident site, asshole.

  20. OKAY!!! I’ll get ready!!!

    *mutters “you’re not my real mom” under breath*

  21. Yea. It just seems so … predictable. What kind of asshole keeps driving when he shouldn’t? What kind of asshole still has his keys because the wife/kids are afraid of him.

  22. Wonder if this is true:

    Obama’s Syrian refugee plan to cost $55 billion that is $5,500,000 per person if its only 10,000

    If so, eff Obama right in the ear. This is ridiculous, our vets have to wait forever and benefits are being cut. WTH?? And where does “Obama” get 55 billion dollars???

  23. Why are you so racist mare?

  24. Because I’m sick of giving these dicks welfare, housing and education for free and they turn around and shit on me.


  25. Did someone secretly switch mare’s coffee to decaf?

  26. Ok I think I found a gift for my son for his 21st. Some expensive bluetooth headphones. A friend at work told me her husband loves them. And when/if they fail the company will replace them.


  27. Coffee has been consumed. I guess it’s time to try to fix the washer.

    WIsh me luck.

  28. Good luck, Carin.

    Kick some washer ass!!

  29. Good lord, Rosetta and Chumpo were higher than fucking kites last night.

  30. Didn’t Rosetta only have about 2 comments?

  31. Part is in. I don’t see a leak (which was what caused the problem I believe). But I don’t have any fochin zip ties.

    First trip to the home depot.

  32. All of my liberal friends have vowed to never watch Chris again.


    He must have like, maybe 3 viewers left, and they’re too stupid to find the remote.

  33. Car in,

    It’s his twenty-first. You’re supposed to slap down a pair of shot glasses and drink him under the table while calling him a “pussy” and “momma’s little boy”.

    Was that just my mother?

  34. Nothing and I mean nothing makes sense about the left’s narrative on the “Syrian refugees”.

  35. CoAl – I work that night. He’ll probably be drunk by the time I get home.

  36. Make him come get drunk at your joint, so your co-workers can see what an awesome mom you’ve been.

  37. What headphones are they, Car in? I’ve been looking too.

  38. Oso, Mrs. Jay is slowly getting better. The antibiotics they finally gave her are taking hold slowly. She’s still nauseous, but has more good time than bad now. She needs to get going on the eating, and the yogurt, and get moving.

    /Dr. Jay

  39. Chris Matthews is still on?

  40. I remember when he hosted Rush.

  41. Why didn’t anyone ever tell me to read 2001? This book is awesome. HAL was a lot more evil in the book, and the backstory is quite good. Had to read it after The Martian.

    Highly recommended.

  42. Zip ties are hard to find.

  43. Jay, calm down.

  44. *zip ties Hotspur

  45. This is what happens when the left infects everything.


    Who thinks up this shit?

  46. Sounds like Clinton still gives a good speech. Hardly surprising that a university gives an award to perhaps their greatest hero. I know all my lefties regard Carter and Clinton only a breath below FDR and Kennedy. Jefferson is in third now. Can’t figure that one out.

  47. Jay has stupid friends.

  48. I propose to give him the Philanderer in Chief award.

    I would pay his speaking fee if he would show up for that.

  49. I see their point, mare. They are horribly wrong, but I see it.

  50. John Kennedy was in office for about 2 1/2 years. His major accomplishment was taking a bullet to the head.

    I was in 9th grade when it happened. I thought he was an asshole then. Still think so.

    Then his dumbass brother accomplishes being murdered.

    At least Teddy was smart enough to murder someone else, and stay alive for 45 more years.

  51. I wasn’t born yet when Kennedy was assassinated. 9 months later I was born.


  52. Mare, were you born yet when JFK was assassinated?

  53. JFK was assassinated by the Illuminati. They implanted an alien chip into his head to control his mind, but when he managed to resist it they decided to detonate it.

  54. Jimbro,

    The MIchelin ad has a French/Latin pun in it. “Nunc est bibendum” is Latin for “Now is the time for drinking” but the MIchelin Man’s real name is “Bibendum”.

    OK,OK. They ROFL in Paris in like 1899 on that one :)

  55. Jay,

    2001 is a pretty good once you get past the wordiness. 2010, the sequel is OK, although not 2001. Clarke wrote a couple of more sequels to that one, but I think he was resting on his laurels by then.

  56. I’m resting on your mom.

  57. You’re too old to do anything else.

  58. Washer turned on and is working so far.

    Zip ties are in the electrical department.

    The one I got Jay is the JayBird BlueBuds X sport bluetooth.

  59. “Make him come get drunk at your joint, so your co-workers can see what an awesome mom you’ve been.”

    Campared to Sean’s Penis and some of the other winners … he’ll still be outstanding.

  60. Natural Selection In Progress™

  61. Campared to Sean’s Penis and some of the other winners … he’ll still be outstanding.

    There you go. Your coworkers need a better class of baby-daddy.

  62. Yeah, can’t have all that ovulating going on there.

  63. Oh my sons are far too nice/accomplished/considerate for any of the girls to look twice at.

    They have JOBS and they work 50+ HOURS a week. They simply don’t have enough time to entertain most young ladies’ bullshit.

  64. Plus – no tatoos. How can they be a man w/o a tatoo?

  65. Terror Alert in LA (fake, don’t want to alarm)

  66. How can they be a man w/o a tattoo?

    Nipple ring?

  67. Man bun

  68. No nipple rings or any piercings.

    Not even a top knot. Matt is growing his hair out claiming he’s going for a “man bun” but I think he 1) actually doesn’t care enough and 2) he’s trying to irritate me.

  69. This is for the Chumpster:


  70. I’d go with 2).

  71. Just don’t ask about the secret Prince Albert.

    Don’t google that, mare.

  72. Heh, that’s pretty good, HS.

  73. Those are pretty cool, Spur. You’ll have to pardon me for questioning your sexual stamina earlier.

  74. Would anyone like some sushi?

  75. Just leave it out on the table, in the sun. Wiser will need some supper.

  76. Plus – no tatoos. How can they be a man w/o a tatoo?

    Nothing says, “I have a future and prospects so let me inseminate you” like gauged ears and ink up the sides of your neck.

    Or maybe it actually says, “This will get back at daddy for not loving you enough… or too much.”

  77. Comment by Car in on November 19, 2015 12:52 pm

    Plus – no tatoos. How can they be a man w/o a tatoo?

    You know, since you’re getting him drunk tonight…

  78. reminded me off this other piece of brilliance:


  79. Hey, Wiser, your governor says he wants Syrian refugees.

  80. Hey, Wiser, your governor says he wants Syrian refugees.

    Well, my governor is nothing more than an Obama parrot.

  81. Son gets a call on Thanksgiving…

  82. So, the House Dems are completely out of their minds on everything:


    Veto proof majority. Things I thought I’d never see.

  83. I think we are going to have a pissed off president from here on out.

  84. I’ve worked those very fields.


  85. That’s awesome, xbrad. What do they grow there?

  86. Your Band Name…

    Post it here!

  87. That makes a horrible band name. I’m going to stick with my “porn-star” name

    Mother’s maiden name + first Pet’s name + favorite grade-schoo teacher

  88. That’s a terrible porn star name.

  89. J’ames, IIRC, mostly mustard seed now. Used to grow hay for the dairy, and some truck farming stuff.

  90. Sounds like North Dakota, they grow a lot of canola, rapeseed (yes, it’s real), and beets.

  91. Nothing says, “I have a future and prospects so let me inseminate you” like gauged ears and ink up the sides of your neck.

    This deserves to be enshrined in Mare’s Musings. It’s a damned shame Mare didn’t say it. Colex, I’ll be archiving this for future polite conversation at a cocktail party. Of course, I’ll claim it’s my own original intellectual property.

  92. Can we put it in as a Mare’s Footnote?

  93. Hoofnote

  94. I want to punch at least two of the members of Pentatonix in the face. That is all

  95. I’ve been running around all day and have accomplished absolutely nothing.

  96. I want to punch at least two of the members of Pentatonix in the face.

    They all have it coming, I’m sure.

  97. W the F is T S?

  98. MJ – what kind of pretend workout did you do today?

  99. Pentatonix is a cult.

  100. It’s no QOTSA.

  101. Which I’m listening to right now.

  102. I wonder if I should do five in a row? It’s been a while?

  103. Of course you are.

    My wife wanted to watch Ferris Bueller and got it started before I could stop her. I want to take Marty’s time machine back and punch Ferris in the neck.

  104. There’s nothing to watch on tv. Not in the mood to read. So it’s music.

  105. I talked her down, now we’re watching her work video.

  106. Waiting for Thursday Night Football. We’ve been watching college bball. I have friends linking Pentatonix Christmas music. I don’t get the appeal. I sell the crap out of their CDs at The Club.

  107. It’s over.

    I think she’s trolling the general.

  108. If HS is around, five in a row owns the comments. Car in knows. (Head to chest, whispers, Car in knows)

  109. Oh, watched Spectre today. So glad it is DCs last movie in the genre. I H8 his ears and his antipathy towards the character.

  110. There’s a Spectre movie?

  111. One

  112. Two

  113. Three

  114. Four

  115. Five

  116. Plus one for good luck.

  117. Oh crap. Is it over? Please tell me IB isn’t going to outlast us.

  118. IB is a scam.

  119. I went and did laundry. Folded. Cleaned the laundry room. Moved on to Radiohead though. That’s more of “cleaning” music.

  120. My machine is all fixed and works and no leaks. Lady at the online appliance thing said my diagnosis didn’t make sense.


    I should do this for a living.

  121. It was leaking and I took it all apart – the heating element was almost completely detached and the only spot I could see a leak. She said something else must have made it come detached. I needed a new tub seal or bearings or some other bullshit.


  122. See how I do this hotspur? I actually have content in my comments for five in a row. Your cheating bs doesn’t get it done.

    Oso knows.

  123. BAM.

    That just happened.

  124. I used to have this awesome live performance thing of Radiohead.

    Sigh. IT was awesome. I could listen to it right now.

    If I had it still. WHich I don’t.

  125. Tomorrow is friday right?


    You know how Lauraw feels about tuesday? I feel that except more about Friday.

    Friday’s suck.

  126. You copy and paste, bitch.

  127. Please.

  128. Plus, I’m on my phone. Which blows.

  129. False accusations are beneath you.

  130. Oh. Now come the excuses.

  131. Okay, you rule.

  132. Sammich.

  133. Naow.

  134. Nope. Still nothing.

  135. I do rule. But I don’t even make my kids sammiches. Unless they’re sick. That’s why they can cook.

    It’s a survival thing.

  136. Xbrad what’s your malfunction today? Some days you just aren’t supposed to accomplish things.

  137. I got home too late to work out today. Looks like another 2-workout week (assuming I get one in tomorrow), which sucks, but I’m still doing better than MJ.

    I hate commuting. Today I drove to Ann Arbor first to meet with those guys, then to Dearborn, then I managed to leave Dearborn to drive past the airport at the worst possible time (basically anytime between 330 and 7). Took the life out of me entirely.

  138. Xbrad – go put on some radiohead. That will make it all better.

  139. I just worked out in the basement. My shoulder has been bugging me so if crossfit has a shoulder-heavy day I just skip it.I know me – I’ll push it. I’m stupid that way.I just have to avoid the whole thing.

  140. I got distracted at the HQ reading the comments. I liked Spy. Still need to see Man from Uncle. Ticket guy gave us the Senior discount at the movies. 55 and over. I was offended, but $.

  141. I’m still working on the startbodyweight things and adding in the L-sit and crow stand progressions. I almost have the one-legged squat down. I think if I can get an afternoon to work on it out in the barn (where I can safely roll backward) I’ll have it nailed. Maybe Saturday.

  142. Its not over til;
    Alex gets married
    Cyn puts on Darkside of The Moon
    Wiser runs for office
    Mare votes for Hill Daug
    MJ comes out of the closet
    Leon gets a tan
    XBrad srops humpin pool floaties
    Jimebro posts something funny
    Pedeko moves to SF
    Oso makes us all dinner
    Roamy gives up knitting
    Hotshot buys a SAAB
    DiT comes back
    Jew stops working
    Carin calls a professional
    Double misses two derps in a row
    Or SMOD


  143. Xbrad – go put on some radiohead. That will make it all better.

  144. ^^^^^Laughing in messican jajaja

  145. Leon gets a tan

    I have a tan. All those shirtless hours in the yard were good to me.

  146. Did anybody tell anybody else that they could not, in good conscience, take their eternal soul in return for making them the world’s greatest oboist today?

  147. lipps, Pepe, TiF, the rest of ye reprobates and I didnt make the list because I had to make another drink.


  148. Washing machine with a heating element?

    La Te Da!

  149. Pro-tip: the Devil will never argue you down. He’s willing to pay as little as you’re willing to take.

    Another pro-tip: Your soul is as valuable as anyone else’s. If he’s not offering you everything you’ve ever dreamed of, demand more.

    Super-duper pro-tip: If he’s not currently offering you anything for your soul, it’s because he’s pretty sure he’s already got it.

  150. Sounds legit.

  151. Thank you, Father Leon.

  152. Oh no, none of that is official teaching, just my theological opinion.

    The last one scares me because I’m worried it’s right.

  153. I had a thought today. It’s rare. Four years ago my Secret Santa was spur. Three years ago it was Cathy. Two years ago was Herr Morganholtz. Last year was BCock. Whoever I get this year has a 3/4 shot of not showing up around this dump shortly thereafter. So cyn, decide who you’re sick and tired of when choosing.

  154. Wife just watched this one on the TV: https://youtu.be/l6MJe5wKT7Y

  155. One of my favorite movie scenes is in “Bedazzled” when the main character lands in jail and his cellmate tells him the truth about who holds a person’s soul.

  156. Well, that’s because you send shitty stuff.

  157. Oh, they are kicking me out of this joint on Monday.

    I’m so ready to sleep in my own bed again – today marks 2 months since I’ve been home…..

  158. Spur, we all know you wear your cock sock on cold winter nights. But……you’re right.

  159. “Well thats because uou send shitty stuff”

    Ahahahahahsgsgahsgshahahahahahahahahahahshshdhdhhddjjdkfkf!! !!

    Fuchin cheep ass!!! Stop chasing our friends away with your home made aromatic soaps!!

  160. It was too small.

  161. I’m ready to sleep in your mom’s bed again.

    **congrats and welcome back.

  162. One of my favorite movie scenes is in “Bedazzled” when the main character lands in jail and his climate tells him the truth about who holds a person’s soul.

    I still figure that if you’re not getting offers for it, it’s because you already lost it.

    This is my favorite scene from the movie, sadly it didn’t make it into the release. Don’t bother past the first 2 minutes or so, that’s the good part.

  163. Huge breaking news…..local college is being evacuated after a suspicious package was found on a nearby city bus.

    I’ll bet $17 million that the “suspicious package” couldn’t possible hurt one of those kids.

    Suspicious packages have the same record as bomb threats.

  164. I just got some feg named Pendejo Grande as my secret santa.

    Who the fuck is that?

  165. I’m should take like a half-dozen suspicious packages and leave them on UM busses.

  166. Has anyone ever found a bomb after a bomb threat? Ever?

  167. The standard response should be ….Fuck you……detonate it…….LOL…..you are going to fail the test you are trying to get out of.

  168. Heh. Suspicious packages are usually just crap left behind. 9/12/2001 a box fell off a truck in the parking lot. Bomb squad called. No one could leave the store until the Squad gave the all clear. People were chill. Now…forget about it. Best thing about working Club retail: Very few “Code Adam” situations. Target was averaging 3 Codes a day. (Technically a lost child. Realistically a lazy parent or nanny)

  169. DSOTM?



    *walks back out H2 clubhouse door and slams it shut. Twice*

  170. Fished Chumpo’s comment at 9:10pm outta teh bucket.

  171. Nobody knows what that means.

  172. Osoese

  173. The Jax uniforms are gay, and not in a good way.

  174. Nobody knows what that means.

    I know what it means. But I’m nobody.

  175. WordPress needs an Oso translate.

  176. Am I too late to sign up for this year’s Secret Santa?

  177. Yea Scott- I’m so la te da I fix my own washer.

    My kids were teasing me that the messicans at the laundry Matt were going to miss me . @@

  178. Glad you are busting out of prison the hospital, TiFW. (((gentle hugs)))

  179. Not too late for SS, TiF – linky: http://wp.me/pb9T5-c3y

    Gonna feel great in your own bed!

  180. I won an argument at work today. Told the scientist that polymer wouldn’t stand up to the space environment. He told me to test it anyway. Okay, you’re paying the bills, but you’re wrong.

    71% mass loss. The technician helping me said I laughed evilly.

  181. Roamy FTW

  182. Roamy, Taco Cabana is putting cilantro in everything. I used to love TC. Not so much. Hope Mini Me can spread the word about cilantro. AKA Lazy science project.

  183. 71% mass loss. The technician helping me said I laughed evilly.

    Why not 72?


    How do we market this as a fat loss supplement?

  184. BED TIME!

  185. GN Leon!

  186. Oso, we rarely eat at Mexican restaurants. I feel like I can make a burrito, taco, or quesadilla just as well if not better than they can. When we eat out, it’s usually something either I can’t cook (Japanese) or am not willing to put the effort into (dim sum).

    I thought coriander was related to cilantro, but apparently that doesn’t bother Mini-me. Seeds vs. leaves?

  187. First World rant: It really sucks being allergic to Aloe and Lanolin. They put that shit in everything. Yes, it is weird to wear gloves to read ingredient labels at the store. I have stories.

  188. High today 34. Low tonight 22.

    Honeymoon in MN is over.

  189. Leaves are soapy. Roamy is New Mexican?

  190. Icester

  191. Charlie Sheen: I think I may have HIV.
    Jenny McCarthy: Are you sure?
    Charlie Sheen: I’m positive!

  192. Observations on staying in a casino hotel:

    1. People are larger than normal
    2. Everyone smokes
    3. Lots of sex is being had by all (MJ not included)
    4. No one gambling seems like they should be gambling
    5. Asians & crackers gamble. Black folks not so much
    6. Fuck salt
    7. I hate Indiana

  193. Or there’s just crappy Mexican restaurants here. If there is a failing health department grade, it’s either a Mexican restaurant or an all-you-can-eat buffet.

    We went to a quinceanera last weekend, and the Mexican food there was really good, but I’m not driving an hour one-way for flautas.

  194. I saw Suspicious Package open for Pussy Riot at the Ogden back in ’09.

  195. I’ve never had flautas. Roamy has been to more quinceaneras than I have.

  196. My favorite part of this quinceanera was the DJ playing the Whip It Nae Nae song, and Mini-me just standing there, slowly shaking her head with a “oh hell no” look on her face.

  197. It’s raining like a mufaku. So I will have more enfattened leeks in two or three days, mwa ha ha haaa.

    Still probably at least 150 + leeks out there. Still picking kale, carrots, radish, parsley, celeriac, and green onions too. Loving this mild Fall. Often by now the ground is ringing hard and everything deadsky. Not this year! YAYYY.

    Nice to be able to pull a soup together from the garden. Keeping my eyes on the forecast though. Never know when the ground is gonna close up. Still haven’t pulled any horseradish yet, either.

    Oh, also:


  198. I H8 soup. Love you guys and your garden tales. BTW old people smell like soup.

  199. Roamy, I heard on social media that Whip it Nae Nae was so last year.

  200. I’d hate soup if I lived in your climate too, Oso. Especially if I didn’t have a garden.

  201. Dan makes soup all the time. Green chile stew. Posole. Split pea and ham. Chowders. Bisques. Bacon chedder. He’s icky

  202. Cooks down chicken for broth. Freezes it. I’m like “You can buy it, don’t need to waste time making it.

  203. Hey!! He’s making nutrition and saving you money. http://is.gd/2QiTc0

  204. Lauraw,
    I’m jealous. We’ve had so many frosts, and more coming every night for the next week. Also windstorms, power-outages, and dead people. The only thing left alive in the garden is Parsnips.
    One of the ski-areas has 137mph wind, 300,000 without power.
    Gardening here is over…

    Still running on the old Dell Optiplex, but I bought a laptop today. First one ever.
    HP Pavilion:

    I have no idea what I’m going to do with it.
    Maybe tomorrow, I’ll turn it on and see what it does…
    I should go back to the store tomorrow and buy the three-year “Square Trade”™ warranty for $119.

  205. Another downpour. Fried leeks, baby. Nothing like it.

  206. Oso,
    I do NOT smell like soup!
    I smell like tobacco and whiskey, and fail…

  207. Parsnips are real good food for mid Winter thaw/ early Spring, Crispy. That’s when they’re the sweetest. Roast those puppies.

  208. I bet leeks perennialize easily in the pacNW. I’m going to try to perennialize mine, but it’s still a bit of work.

  209. You can play World of Warships on your shiny new laptop, Chrispy, join me, and we’ll rule the waves!

  210. I didn’t realize you had to work to do that

  211. Is that all there is, is that all there is?
    If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
    Let’s break out the derp and have a ball
    If that’s all there is

  212. I play World of Parsnips on my laptop

  213. “World of Parsnips”

    way to stay rooted in the garden blog theme my friend…

    *awards sawbones 2 up-twinkels*

  214. i just heard the religion of Piecers have taken hostages at a hotel in Mali….

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