Upon Which We Further Anal yze the Millennial Generation

Gen X here. Sure, I fit all of the stereotypes associated with my age cohort. I’m a bit of a slacker, I don’t trust anyone, I’m highly skeptical of commonly held positions, and I’m absolutely certain that Kurt Cobain was not the voice of my generation. As an aside, do any of you people believe that ‘Rape Me’ would have been written today? Not a chance. Rape is racist!

I wrote the above  so that we have a bit of a contrast to the Millennials. They pride themselves on being open, tolerant, more concerned with ‘making a difference’ than making a buck, diverse, and incredibly technologically savvy.

As Jules Verne said in Pulp Fiction, ‘allow me to retort.’

From the recent news stories coming out of Mizzou, Yale, Oberlin, and others I can only speculate that the Millennials are the most racist, least tolerant, and egocentric generation to be birthed into this great nation. It’s near a daily occurrence that we hear of a terrible hate crime perpetrated by these gentle philanthropists in waiting.

Yale? Filled with hate speech where even the most impoverished millionaires are forced to create segregated safe spaces in order to tolerate the oppression that hangs over Connecticut. There’s a recognition that the Yale classes of 2016-20 might actually be considering to possibly think of doing something that could at some point hurt someone’s feelings and it must be stopped, per the students’ own possible thoughts. But It all depends on the word ‘possibly’ or ‘considering’ or ‘something.’ What is certain is that it’s possibly something that could be considered racist. Which is completely, certainly, something that should be considered. Maybe.

U of Missouri? By their own admission, the students are finally speaking up to let us know that they’ve created a dangerous environment where racists prowl the campus smearing their anti-african american swastikas on nearly every pane of glass. But I guess that’s the price of diversity–the poop nazis are branching out and tolerating more groups to hate. Are the anti-black poop nazis to be rewarded or condemned? I for one, am not sure.

Oberlin? Don’t even get me started. It’s barely worth the $200K to suffer the constant oppression foisted upon the students by their classmates. I can’t imagine what it must be like to hurriedly dash from the Women’s Studies Hall to the Land Rover with the ever-present thought that one might see a party decoration–or is it a NOOSE!–dangling from a tree–DOES IT REALLY MATTER? I WAS TRIGGERED? The horrors of Oberlin are real, my friends, even if they’re not.

Which leads me to the surprising conclusion of long-winded, obvious post: the Millennials probably are the most open, tolerant, and diverse, generation. They are constantly told by their aging professors that evil lurks around every corner, which is in direct contradiction with what they experience so they invent the moral transgressions to rail against. All of it is fake.

Which leads me to my second, completely predictable conclusion: They are really, really fucking stupid.

Counterpoint:

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152 Comments

  1. I’m Gen X too. Fuck you Millennials.

    now I gotta go rip the stereo out of my son’s car.

    Sadly I really do have to do it.

  2. My favorite part:

    But I guess that’s the price of diversity–the poop nazis are branching out and tolerating more groups to hate.

    hahahahah

    Also, the Nutcracker Squirrel (WTF do you spell that??)

  3. The whole point of the post was the Jewstin TL;DR dance?

  4. I see oso just skipped to the end.

  5. How did the Ithaca students lie down in the Quad with manbuns and skinny jeans? Can they get back up?

  6. Comment by osoloco11 on November 12, 2015 11:37 am
    How did the Ithaca students lie down in the Quad with manbuns and skinny jeans? Can they get back up?

    ——

    HA! Good one.

  7. Oh, and sorry Jimbro.

    I acknowledge and honor your post. Sort of.

  8. Ace’s post is longer and has more links. I’ll give the edge and uptwinkles to MJ.

  9. Carin, why the fuck do you have to take out your son’s stereo? He’s the one who totaled the fucking car.

    Fucking helicopter moms.

  10. Totes okay you Gen X-er! I am technically a Boomer by virtue of being born in ’64 but I feel more like a Gen X-er. I guess if I identify with being a ginger, left-handed, black lesbian Gen X-er it’s all good nowadays.

  11. Google says Gen X is 1961-1979

    I was born in 62 and thought I was a boomer.

  12. But it says baby boomers are ’46 to ’64.

    So you’re good.

  13. I never felt like a Boomer. X’er fits better. I guess it is because I equate Boomers with stinky hippies.

  14. When do we get Diversity Officers and safe spaces for white people in Harlem who might not feel safe?

  15. When they open the University of Harlem.

    What would UoH’s mascot, team name and school colors be?

    Go!

  16. Racist.

    I need a safe space on Tryon street after 10pm. I’m a little tired of being followed home or watching a 300 lb man take a dump on the side of the building.

  17. The UofH Monica’s Blue Dresses.

    Blue and white.

  18. The UoH’s Sharptons

    Brown on the outside, red on the inside

  19. The Misspelt Protess Sines

    Battleship Gray and Dusky Blue

  20. The Lonely Dead Poats?

  21. The Fightin’ Trayvons

    Colors would be found in a bag of Skittles

    Mascot would be an anthromorphized marijuana cigarette

  22. U of H Squeegee Men

  23. The Flaming Shopkeepers

    Red & Orange

    Mascot: A Molotov Cocktail

  24. As a millennial, it’s really only the late millennials that are the problem. I was born in ’82, so I’m right on the edge between Gen X and Millennial, and most of my cohort are sane. The kids born after 1990 seem to be the crazy ones.

  25. U of H won’t have a mascot. That’s how you keep people down by turning them into caricatures and symbols of oppression. Colors will be black on ebony. Designed by Jay Z. The only sport will be basketball.

  26. The Giant Rims on a POS Cars.

    Rust and chrome.

  27. U of H Gentle Giants. Colors: Black and turning Blue.

  28. Got so irritated with SiL, I gave myself a headache keeping my feelings in. She knew she had today off work 3 weeks ago and had no plans in place to spend today with her mom. 1st anniversary of FiL dying. Dan and I planned to take MiL to Mass, cemetery, and brunch. $20 version, she went in my place. I’m snuggling with MA and popping aspirin.

  29. The University of Compton team keeps losing to the University of East LA’s team, The Korean Shopkeepers.

  30. You know what’s really effective in situations like that? Walking away, and not giving a fuck.

    You’d be surprised how fast they notice.

  31. The UofH CoPacetic Greys

  32. I like the Sharptons the best so far.

  33. “Carin, why the fuck do you have to take out your son’s stereo? He’s the one who totaled the fucking car.

    Fucking helicopter moms.”

    He did not total the fucking car – some old fuck did. My son has now lost TWO cars (and his hard-earned money he used to buy those car) in 8 months from the fault of OTHER PEOPLE. And you know what? He doesn’t hold a grudge. He feels bad for the old guy – because he’s a great person. He got teary when he heard the old woman died.

    And I mentioned – my son basically allowed me to use his car so his sister could drive my car – and now we’re down a car. Son would have had to take a day off work (which would inconvenienced my husband more than anything ) to get the stereo out. More money out of his pocket BECAUSE OF SOME OLD FUCK.

    So yea. I helicoptered and got his stereo out for him- it was in the trunk. I unclipped a few wires and threw it in my jeep. After he’s been fucked by some old fucking man who stole $4000 from him – if I’m being a helicopter parent for doing this little thing for him than I’ll wear the badge proudly.

  34. Hotspur’s gonna need a safe space

  35. And when I got to the towing place – I fucking CRIED when I saw the wreck(s) in person. They looked even worse IRL.

  36. I just figured you were finally putting a stop to him listening to awful music. Lines have to be drawn when raising children.

  37. You’re the Air Wolf of Heli Moms.

    Good Work.

  38. Hotspur, you’re gonna need some bactine for those cuts and scratches

  39. So, Carin, I heard your son wrecked his…

    http://is.gd/7ABDIE

    never mind

  40. haha, Air Wolf Car in

  41. I live in FEAR that they family will eat at my restaurant after the funeral. I’m going to have to excuse myself if that happens. Just in case.

  42. I thought Harlem had a university. Columbia. It’s within a few blocks if I remember correctly. Close enough.

  43. Is the ghetto bar a safe space?

  44. I guess I’m a boomer. I was born in the last dying gasps of the Eisenhower administration. Right before we started letting our Royal family run the country. My mom had four kids……so I must be a boomer.

  45. I just let out a boomer…

  46. Comment by MJ on November 12, 2015 3:39 pm

    Is the ghetto bar a safe space?

    Only if you know the safe word.

  47. The safe word is “rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz “

  48. I interviewed at Columbia for my residency. Stayed at a friend’s sister’s apartment. He had an interview somewhere else in NYC. I took the subway there with my suit on. I carried my dress shoes in a grocery bag and wore a long thrift shop overcoat that looked awful. I was on guard the whole way there and back. It was an easy decision to rank them low on the list.

  49. L to R

    MJ’s poat, Pupster

  50. How do you know you’re in Chicago in the afternoon? There are 4 ConEd trucks in the bar parking lot.

  51. MayBe the beer cooler lost a phase? Neon transformer on the fritz?

  52. Beer cooler with another phase? That’s a big bar!

  53. Union Meeting

  54. Great moments in bartender restraint: Chinese gentleman sits down directly in front of this bar, with menu right in front of him…”what do you have on draft?”

    http://is.gd/Lxh4u8

  55. Vodka and Patron right below, mmmm.

  56. Bar Louie

    Meh. Off to Ohare.

  57. So apparently my mother thinks I’m slightly autistic. I mentioned this to a friend and her response was, “Oh you definitely are. But part of your charm!”

    WTH?

  58. Colorado Aspergers?

  59. Alex, at Ace’s on the overnight thread a couple of nights ago they linked a test to see if you are autistic You might want to swing by and answer the 50 questions. Takes 7 minutes.

  60. hahahaha….Way to kick Hotspur’s ass, Carin.

    He’s just a crotchety old piece of crotch.

  61. “…BECAUSE OF SOME OLD FUCK.”

    ——-

    Remember, Carin, Hotspur is too.

    hahahahahah

  62. I scored a 26.

    “•26-31 gives a borderline indication of an autism spectrum disorder. It is also possible to have aspergers or mild autism within this range.”

    Fuck.

  63. Meh, so is everyone here.

  64. Got to run to KMart before Wapner, BRB!

    Toodles!

  65. Fellow Aspy’s unite!!! U, me, and ChrisP.

  66. Dan thinks my headache was contrived to force him to interact with his mom and sis without me buffering.

  67. 7.12 minutes, Mare.

  68. I actually place really low on most autism tests.

  69. BTW my mom just kept calling me a social retard. The Aspergers diag finally made sense.

  70. I love Last Man Standing.

  71. Oso,
    You left out AnitaP.
    She was only 2 points below me…

  72. I love lamp.

  73. I love lamp

  74. I love AnitaP. Never meant to leave her out.

  75. ChrisP and AnitaP rock. I don’t care what their scores were.

  76. Well I got nothing to worry about.

  77. What’s the link? I should check and see if you people have infected me with your autism.

  78. Skipping it. Site has umpti-billion scripts I’d have to allow.

    Autistic I’m not, paranoid I am.

  79. I love Last Man Standing.

    ——–

    When I catch it, I really enjoy it. It’s ridiculous, therefore right up my alley. My alley being “my interests” whores!

    Oso, when is it normally on and what channel? I’ve moved so many times I never know what channels represent which stations.

    I don’t know what I’m saying.

  80. I think Paranoia when asked within the test is a sign of autism.

  81. Off the charts.

  82. Mare, Friday nights on ABC. We watch on Hulu. Dan finally hooked up our Apple TV. I see LOTS of streaming in my future.

  83. OMG Dan found a music channel of The Gap Band. Kill me nao.

  84. I got a 15 on http://psychcentral.com/cgi-bin/autismquiz.cgi

    No autism.

  85. The more I learn about Aspergers, the more I realize my mom’s extreme behaviors were motivated by keeping me safe. Still not ready to forgive and forget. Who ties a 3 yr old to the clothesline? Who lets a climber hang from pantries, attics, sides of buildings?

  86. The shuttle bus driver tried to kill me.

  87. I had no idea how expensive tuition got. $50,000 and up is pretty easy.

    That is stupid.

  88. Not autistic. A lot of the answers were “slightly” agree/disagree which was a bit bogus. Almost like I could steer the test where I wanted.

  89. Ask to see his license Pup.

  90. I just looked my alma mater up:

    Tuition and Fees $38,550
    Room and Board (resident students only) $14,720

    When I was there it was under $7000 and I lived at home.

  91. I thought my cousins were cray. Their kids and my millenial nieces and nephews are the worst.

  92. One place is over $60,000.

  93. My cousin, Raul, turns 40 next year. Still paying for his Harvard/London/Stanford edumacation. BTW my family members with teachers in the mix are all sending their kids to private mostly Catholic schools. Still vote democrat.

  94. College got awfully expensive after we outlawed anyone but the federal government lending you money for it.

    Weird.

  95. So many people carrying so much debt and we wonder why people are no longer interested in expensive furniture.

  96. Let’s denigrate workers and demand that only people with college degrees have worth in America. What could possibly go wrong?

  97. 90% of the children on this street live at the other end, where all the rental properties are. Young families can no longer afford homes.

  98. Where’s all the extra money going? It’s not like professors are any better paid now than they were when I went to school.

    Admin bloat? Gigantic explosions in non-STEM degrees?

  99. And *I* used to get shit about tl;dr?

    Geeeeeezzzzz….

  100. One of the nurses I work with has a boy playing hoops at my school on scholarship. He’s a good kid, no more of an idiot than I was at that age. Pretty sure he wouldn’t have got in but for his basketball skills.

  101. The Clintons got a big pile of it.

  102. BiW, squirrel!!!

  103. I took Leon’s quiz and am “Likely Autistic”. I think they have my anti-social, I don’t care attitude confused with an inability to engage in normal behavior.

  104. It’s a money laundering scheme.

  105. My brother pre-paid for his kids educations if they went to school in NV. Oldest had scholarship to U of A. Now at Georgetown Law. $$$ His daughter hated NV Reno. At Loyola Marymount. Still hoping on youngest. BTW Oldest competed against Bryce Harper in LL and HS. Gave up baseball as a Jr in HS.

  106. Scott is right. Follow the money. BTW not everyone is college material. I’d put HS against any college grad in the last 30 years in general knowledge.

  107. Pepe is an artist. His pictures of his knives are awesome. Some say craft, I say ART. Rancher Pepe is a worker. Knife guy: Michelangelo.

  108. Fuck!!! Every single fucking tome I try to comment on the HQ using mobile, I keep getting redirected to winning prizes.

  109. Time! Not tome. WTF disabled autocuke?

  110. It’s a money laundering scheme.

    Well yeah, I just don’t get where it all goes. It’s not like the math teachers are getting rich. Did they quadruple the number of hangers-on in the last 15 years or something?

    Unless the current Dark Age has passed in 18 years, Possum’s going to go to Khan Academy.

  111. We’ve had lots of building on campus. Plus green technology

  112. Did anybody misinterpret anybody else’s call for some “muscle” over near their “safe space” as an invitation to do some butt stuff today?

  113. Did they quadruple the number of hangers-on in the last 15 years or something?
    ——–
    Pretty much. Plus, plain old inflation. And “student life” funds have exploded.

  114. “misinterpret”

  115. I love watching my cousins’ kids go all SJW on their parents and my Tias and Tios on FB. Left on left!

  116. HA! I was a 15 also, Leon.

  117. Comment by Sean M. on November 12, 2015 8:24 pm
    Did anybody misinterpret anybody else’s call for some “muscle” over near their “safe space” as an invitation to do some butt stuff today?

    ——-

    HAHAHAHA Mare loves Sean.

  118. Dan confused garlic salt with garlic powder. I’m a saint for not commenting

  119. They pay the Clintons $250,000 to talk for an hour.

  120. “Comment by pendejogrande on November 12, 2015 3:38 pm

    I thought Harlem had a university. ”

    they do / did – it’s City College (aka CUNY) Some smart fuks have graduated from it thru the years –

    those years have passed – for now

    hmm s’toobad

  121. Wow this blog still sucks. And you all still suck. Even those of yous I don’t know.

    Anyway. Just happened to visit cranky’s old blog. It’s still up, which is nice. It was nice to see that some of you stopped by every once in a while to say to hi cranky. So I said hi, too.

    Later jerks.

  122. That is the last person I expected to see here.
    Howdy Bart

  123. Bart…come back Bart.

  124. Bart is a scam.

  125. Chris Matthews calls Rubio/Cruz Cuban nationals. MFM resorts to description that makes Portuguese “Hispanic” Oso laughs while fearing the Hump/Lump

  126. was lurking during Bart / Cranky

    how’s the grooming pointers Bart –

  127. If Virginia Tech loses this game, I’m blaming it on the fugly uniforms. What *is* it with ugly uniforms this season? NFL and NCAA.

  128. The money goes towards administrators, plush dorm rooms, a massive fitness center with indoor track and pool, and crap like that.

    Personally, I’d love to start a college where student live in open-bay barracks, the gym is a metal barn with squat racks, surrounded by a quarter-mile dirt track, and every student is required to do some sort of maintenance work to support the university. Tuition would be $4000 a year.

  129. They are willing to pay $25,000.

  130. H2 U

  131. And no majors that end in “Studies.”

  132. Not politics, but some cool shit going down here in WA RE: NASA, weather research, and McChord AFB.
    NASA is trying to calibrate their precipitation measuring satellites with ground-based measurements.
    They are hauling small weather-stations on the backs of donkeys up into the wilderness-areas of the Olympic Peninsula, driving wheel-borne Doppler radars up there, and flying several types of aircraft with special weather measuring gear over the area, in order to calibrate the precipitation measuring satellites.
    They figured that the Olympic Rain-Forest, with 8′ of rain a year was a good place to test. Especially this time of year.
    Part of the measurements are flying NASA aircraft, outfitted for weather, over the Olympics, and comparing their measurements to the satellites in order to calibrate them.
    A couple of the aircraft are flying out of McChord.
    We’ve noticed “different” noises from McChord in the last few days.
    It turns out that there are KC-135s, F-15s, F-16s flying from there as part of the Boeing Tanker boom-testing.
    Also, NASA weather program is flying their DC-8 weather airplane and a U-2(ER-2) off McChord.
    When the Monsoons stop, we’re going to try and get over there to get a picture, or two of the U-2 take-off and landing…

  133. http://www.thenewstribune.com/news/local/military/article44330763.html

    Watching Cavuto on Anitas computer with the brain-dead Airhead.
    This is just sad…

  134. Who is bart and what exempts him from having his colon capacity questioned RIGHT NOW??!!?!

  135. Uh, the Oly Rain Forest gets juuuuuust a touch more than 8″ of rain a year.

    More like 200.

  136. A little late to this party but this just went up on facechimp.

    A Vanderbilt student started a petition full of lies and the swarm of fascist student babies are now targeting conservative Professor Carol Swain, in an attempt to get her ousted. Dissent and opposing views are not allowed in the hive. The chancellor is kissing their butts.
    Go to the petition site to get the back story. They’ve been harassing her for awhile.

    From the professor –
    “A student in LA has asked me to share his petition defending my academic freedom. He has set a modest goals. Let’s help him exceed his wildest expectations.”

    http://citizengo.org/en/sy/31026-protect-academic-freedom-professor-carol-swain

  137. Can someone look in the bucket and see if my post and link are stuck in it?

  138. Ah, my mistake, you did write 8 feet.

  139. Testes testes, get your hands off your testes.

  140. PG, Bart goes all the way back to H1.

  141. Whoever poats next, can you dig my comment out of the bucket and add it to your poat?

    Thank you and good night.

  142. You’re out of the bucket, Beasn. Don’t make a habit of it.

  143. Poop swastica.

  144. Safe Room! Safe Room! Where’s the Safe Room!!!

  145. “All my life, shitstakas have been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of them.”

    -shit George Bernard Shaw may have said.

  146. You wander around on your own little cloud
    When you don’t see the why or the wherefore
    You derp out on me when we both disagree
    ‘Cause to reason is not what you care for

  147. No boobs no peace!!!

    *smears feces*

  148. Where’s all the extra money going? It’s not like professors are any better paid now than they were when I went to school.

    Admin bloat? Gigantic explosions in non-STEM degrees?
    *****

    an old friend of mine teaches graduate level dance theory. @@

    They do all sorts of “interesting” stuff. The role of Jewish Dance in Holocaust theories kind of stuff.

    wakey wakey

    Plus – have you SEEN all the buildings/perks on campus today. It’s no mystery where the money is going. Everyone’s getting bigger offices/comfier couches/ and plenty of SAFE space to explore.


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