HHD on the fly

Obligatory…

189 Comments

  1. I think this is the Bestest Poat Evar

  2. I call bullshit. That dog isn’t chewing on anything of value.

  3. I think someone is jealous of a well-behaved dog.

  4. Hi everyone.

  5. Leave my fly out of this.

  6. I love the way Cyn flies!!!

  7. Who let MJ out of his crate?

  8. This may be the Bestest Poat Ever™.

    Even without kittens.

  9. Yes, everything that was male and good must now be done in an all female version to show that women are equal or better or some bullshit like that.

    Uffffff

  10. There are all female porn movies so why are they going to the trouble of doing something already done?

  11. I enjoy an all female cast.

    Especially in Lesbian Step Sisters 9.

    Great acting, a good plot, and a surprise ending.

  12. Did you really mean Lesbian STRAP Sisters?

  13. Great acting, a good plot, and a surprise ending.

    —–
    See!! Whats the point of making Ocean’s Eleven with an all female cast??

  14. No, I meant step sisters.

    Strap sisters has terrible acting.

  15. I’d like to hear more about Mare’s experiences with all-female porn movies..

  16. Ocean’s Eleven doesn’t work as an all female cast because half the story is gone. The whole Tess subplot wouldn’t work if it was a guy.

  17. Stirrup raking done, 3 loads of seasoned horseshit deposited.

    13 more to go, then the shitraking, then the leaf application.

  18. Bitches be whack!

  19. Potential future bossman hasn’t called yet, but it’s early.

    *nervous*

  20. Okay, back outside.

  21. Ocean’s Eleven sucked already. It was a tiresome self-absorbed vanity project remake of a tiresome self-absorbed vanity project.

    This film is gonna bomb worse that “Truth”

  22. Turn about is fair play

    The Brotherhood Traveling Un-Ironed Pants

  23. My Best Friends Fantasy Football Draft Party

  24. Like Water For Copenhagen

  25. Eat, Fuck, Sleep

  26. The Playbook

  27. Sleepless in Saigon

  28. How Steven Got Laid While On Vacation

  29. Fried Green Ribeyes.

  30. Sister Act (Like a Bro)

  31. How to Get Rid of That Crazy Bitch in 10 Days

  32. Eric Broke a Bitch

  33. Lust Story

  34. Run Away, Bride!

  35. The Joy Fuck Club.

  36. I don’t think I can top that.

  37. When Harry Met Sally at ESPNZone.

  38. My Big Fat Greek Mother-in-law

  39. Hannah Does Her Sisters.

  40. The Joy Fuck Club!!!!

    HAhahahagshagh

  41. The Joy Fuck Club.

    I’m pretty sure that’s already a porno.

  42. My Ex-Wife Wears Prada.

  43. How to Forget a Girls Name In Ten Minutes

  44. The Devil Wears Carhart

  45. You Could Never Be My Woman

  46. Four Beddings and a case of the clap

  47. Failure To Floss

  48. The Whorehouses of Madison County

  49. Where the heart is located on a buck.

  50. Ocean’s Eleven sucked already. It was a tiresome self-absorbed vanity project remake of a tiresome self-absorbed vanity project.

    —–

    I agree.

  51. Run Away, Bride!
    ————————–
    Hahahahahahahaha. You should have your own radio show.

  52. The Notebook (girls I’ve screwed)

    The chapter on Heathers is particularly long.

  53. Dirty Dancing on the Main Stage

  54. An Officer and a Sonofabitch.

  55. In His Workboots

  56. You should have your own radio show.

    hmmmm………

  57. Heather was easy. She’s fat now though.

    7 more shitloads done, 10-11 to go. Getting tired, but if I stop for more than 15 minutes I won’t start again.

  58. Seven Hos for Seven Bros.

  59. Home Alone 3: The Problem with Fapping

  60. I just listened to some fucking NPR pap about a study done showing that women experience pain more intensely than men, and are less likely to receive prompt pain treatment.

    They really need to quit making shit up.

  61. Danny Get Your Gun.

  62. She’s Out of My Bowling League.

  63. The Art of Getting High

  64. NPR? Are you petting a cat?

  65. Do you have a tweed blazer with elbow patches?

  66. Are you working on a memoir?

  67. I just listened to some fucking NPR pap about a study done showing that women experience pain more intensely than men, and are less likely to receive prompt pain treatment.

    Because women are known for telling each other, “Suck it up, Marty! Drink water and walk it off.”

  68. Comment by MJ on November 4, 2015 1:46 pm

    Do you have a tweed blazer with elbow patches?

    Yes, and a pipe.

    No pants, however.

  69. I thought that women dealt better with pain than men. Mythbusters

  70. The Fault in our Starters.

  71. NPR? Are you petting a cat?

    HS = Spectre

  72. In other news, Pussy Galore was a lesbian, but needed a good man to cure her.

    Sounds about right.

  73. Annie Get Your Diaphragm

  74. Breakfast at Hooter’s

  75. Unforgiven: Because you won’t let go of the damn issue.

    (It’s a European release)

  76. “Breakfast at Hooter’s”

    Hooray!!

  77. I’m Miserables

  78. Did they release that female Ghostbusters thing?

  79. 10 things I Don’t Know About You

  80. Never been Three Way’d

  81. Staff Sergeant R. Lee Ermey’s Diary

  82. Divine Secrets of the Fuck Yeah Billionaire Boys Club

  83. I Didn’t Go To My Best Friend’s Wedding

  84. 4 Weddings and No Football Games

  85. Sixteen Beerkegs

  86. 3 Men and a…hire a nanny.

  87. Shakespeare Is Lame

  88. Confessions of a Fantasy Footballaholic

  89. 7 more shitloads to go. Dog interrupted by barking at the neighbors, so I let him in and grabbed a glass of water.

  90. P.S. I Could Use a Sandwich with my Beer

  91. The Wedding Planner must Die.

  92. GLH Hairspray

  93. In other news, Pussy Galore was a lesbian, but needed a good man to cure her.

    The first time I went to Vegas, back in 2000, I was setting at a Black Jack table with three or four friends. Four girls in their twenties sat down on the other end of the table and joined the game. My friend, Tommy, who is very large and very black (his nephew is currently one of the top defensive linemen in the NFL) began bantering with the young ladies and one of them mentioned that they were all lesbians and all sort of belonged to each other. Tommy had had about a dozen Crown and Cokes at that point and began asking them some rather personal questions. They answered most of them in a friendly manner. After a bit, he tells them, “Y’all go up to my room and let me put some pipe in yo ass and you won’t be lesbians any more. I can cure you of that shit pretty quick.” The friendly tone of the exchange went downhill from there. I’ve often thought that the only reason he got away with it was because he was black. His race kept the from screaming “Victim” and having him thrown out.

    It was some seriously funny shit though. I laughed until I cried.

  94. Ahahagshahah

    That is not the roght thing for me to be reading while waiting out in front of my kids school!!!

  95. You shouldn’t wear just a raincoat out front of the school.

    Just sayin.

  96. Day 4 Beard Status: Low-level street tough/drug dealer from a lesser early ’90s action flick.

  97. Got all my shitloads done, but I only got about half my shit spread out. I gardened for 7 hours lost 6.2# even with all the water breaks. I’m going to be wrecked tomorrow, but I still have to spread out a bunch more shit and then get the leaves on it before it rains on Friday.

  98. I have a hang-nail that is irritating the crap outta me.

  99. If Hang Nail were a band, Car in would listen to them.

  100. Hang nail,
    Hanging Chad,
    Chad at TITS.
    I like tits.

  101. Heh

  102. That Mythbusters experiment (women vs. men on pain tolerance) is such a crock of shit.
    It’s a physiological fact that women tolerate cold temps better than men. The ice-bath is a poor way to test ‘pain tolerance’, but it’s a great way to arrive at a predetermined conclusion.

  103. Actually, men’s temperature receptors are further beneath the skin than women’s. Men generally tolerate cold better. And anecdotally, I’ve known 4 women with space heaters in offices. Men never do this.

  104. CHILDBIRTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    -every woman ever

  105. In order to test whether women can endure pain better than men, we’ve tied Kari and Adam each to a St. Andrew’s Cross and attached electrodes to their nipples…

  106. I have a space heater in my office. I have two exterior walls and the building has shitting insulation, so it gets nearly freezing in my office in the winter.

  107. I have a space heater in my office.

    Get a sweater and man up.

  108. I always heard that women’s bodies shunt blood away from the extremities first, and we tend to survive longer in freezing temperatures than men do.

  109. Survive longer I’ll buy, but I’m pretty sure women feel cold sooner and more painfully than men. There was even some bullshit article on Feministing or the like about how offices being kept cold was sexist because of it.

  110. I tend to hit the ice cream when I’m studying. Don’t know exactly why, but for some reason when I’m studying hard for hours, I end up downing a bowl of ice cream like I NEED it.

    So today I made a big batch of healthier ice cream. Pumpkin spice; made with a humongous can of pureed pumpkin, in a custard of egg yolks, coconut cream, milk, and heavy cream. I used 2/3 less sugar than a regular ice cream recipe.

    BOOYAH. It’s pretty darn good, too.

  111. I do feel the cold sooner than Scott does, if we’re just out in the cold. Not sure the hand in ice water thing is really the same situation.

  112. There’s a certain kind of logic to it. A man who loses his fingers in the cold can’t do what’s ancestrally defined as men’s work, so it’s better if he keeps them but is less likely to survive prolonged exposure (since a tribe that loses a few men will manage). But a woman can lose all of fingers and still be useful in a strictly biological sense (since a tribe that loses a woman loses all of her future and possibly some of her current offspring).

    That’s hand-wave-y conjecture, mind you, and not deliberately sexist, just cognizant of sexual dimorphism. I don’t like that men can be considered disposable, but it’s a biological fact.

  113. Not sure the hand in ice water thing is really the same situation.

    Agreed. They should have used an industrial freezer or something.

  114. There still has to be a better test for pain tolerance than cold tolerance, which is not really the same thing.

  115. Suddenly got all dusty up in here….

    http://m.wtoc.com/wtoc/pm_/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=od%3AxHioDIU3#.VjqZYyk43Yo.twitter

  116. >>>>There still has to be a better test for pain tolerance than cold tolerance, which is not really the same thing.

    Give me a room of 50 Dem women and 50 Dem men and allow me to test in my own fashion and I would be happy to do this study for free

  117. I read here that you were subjected to the Dem pain tolerance test last night!

  118. •invests in this hot new product, Shitting Insulation•

  119. They need the Pain Box from Dune.

  120. They need the Pain Box from Dune.! Cool Hand Luke.

    Fixt

  121. Potential future bossman is still sick, and doing paperwork tonight. Today’s meetings went well and the Detroit portion of the bidness is being extended/expanded.

    We’re meeting up tomorrow.

  122. >>>I read here that you were subjected to the Dem pain tolerance test last night!

    No pain. I just watched and listened.

    Most interesting part of the evening was the segegration that happened in the room.

    AAs showed up and immediately congregated at the back of the room. Well-dressed white people moved immediately away from them and moved to the front of the room. White people on the stage, announcing results, white people writing the results on the wall, white people EVERYWHERE!!

    Except for the occasional black person who dared to venture into the conclave of superior white people to perhaps meet the party leaders or, (gasp) maybe even the mayor they had just voted for.

    The polite dismissal was amazing to watch. As I waited to speak to the mayor, there were many other minorities who also wanted their moment with the big guy. He ignored them all as he turned to me (Yannow, me being a powerful and influential member of the mainstream media.)

    I then left, but was delayed by the mayor’s entourage who left literally right behind me, but with police escorts to race him away from “those people.”

    Interesting night….

  123. Wiser, you should have asked the minority supporters if they felt like they were being excluded, or if they simply chose not to interact with the white Dems.

  124. I’m either going to absolutely love this next project, or hate it with a passion.

    Had my linear algebra exam today. I think I did well, since everything seemed to make sense. That makes me very nervous.

  125. Did anybody feel slightly remorseful about pretending to be an old harpy with nothing better to do than write letters complaining to anybody else’s boss about their job performance today?

  126. Saw this comment at Insty and died laughing:

    “In 20 years, a Tesla will be used as the central prop in a wacky time-travel movie.”

  127. That’s beautiful.

    Matthew Inman hardest hit.

  128. Had my linear algebra exam today. I think I did well, since everything seemed to make sense. That makes me very nervous.

    You probably did fine then. LA is logical enough to make a lot of intuitive sense.

  129. Is he big on the car, too, or just the eccentric electrician?

  130. Both. He writes The Oatmeal and put up long pieces about how wonderful his Tesla is, as well as how great Tesla is. He also started a foundation to raise money to turn Tesla’s former lab into a museum.

  131. LA seems to boil down to either find the reduced row echelon form, or take the determinant and see if it equals 0.

  132. I love people taking Musk to task on Insty for the idea that owning a horse is antiquated or uncommon.

  133. *punches Sean in the face*

    *punches Lauraw in the face*

    *records results in small spiral notebook*

  134. LA seems to boil down to either find the reduced row echelon form, or take the determinant and see if it equals 0.

    Basically. The rest is just applications.

    I own two horses. I will own more. I will never own a Tesla, and likely never an autonomous car. As soon as the first Tesla “autopilot” multiple vehicular manslaughter, I expect a massive funding cut.

  135. >>>>*punches Lauraw in the face*

    S’been nice knowing you, pups

  136. I’m waiting for a Tesla vehicle to be hacked while in motion. Probably by some asshole sociopathic teenager.

  137. Competitor.

    Not me, I don’t care. I think Elon’s hubris will doom him without help. But Volvo, Google? No scruples.

  138. Hubris is one of those theological concepts the Greeks really nailed.

  139. “I own two horses. I will own more.”

    ============

    Slow learner?

  140. No. I accept my fate and I love my wife.

  141. If he plays his cards right, lil’ possum will never be able to afford a loser boyfriend. Horsewomen be crazy, and you’ll always come in second to the damn things…

  142. *brings Pupster to veterinarian to be ‘tutored’*

    *watches medical procedure while scribbling incoherently in a child’s coloring book with black lipstick and laughing, laughing, laughing*

  143. There are millions of fathers all over the world who’s little girls want a pony. How many can answer in the affirmative?

    I live for the day that I get to say yes to that request.

  144. Horsewomen be crazy, and you’ll always come in second to the damn things…

    Secondary motive, but not absent from my devious daddy mind.

  145. Then she can learn to do this.

  146. http://is.gd/YWz7Oz

  147. That seems a trifle silly and more than a little dangerous.

  148. >>>>watches medical procedure while scribbling incoherently in a child’s coloring book with black lipstick and laughing, laughing, laughing*

    Alas, poor Pupster. I knew him, Horatio…

  149. Pupster, I asked Benny and he said it’s fine, doesn’t hurt a bit but you’ll be sore tomorrow. He still humps his stuffed moose regularly so I’m sure you’ll manage.

  150. I had a pony growing up. He was mean as fuck. Ponies suck.

    to be ‘tutored’*

    Yay! Extra training! Is there a certificate?

  151. Horses are ok. Ponies, from what I’ve been told by people who know, are the spawn of Satan.

  152. I’m actually hoping to goad her into getting a donkey.

  153. I could probably be OK without testicles. I mean…look at Wiserbud.

  154. Better to get a kid an older, gentle horse than a pony. Ponies have major attitude problems.

  155. I’m aware. Miniature horse is also a possibility.

  156. I can see H2 doing this

    Take your father’s place by my side!

  157. Thank you, Cyn, for the poat. Yesterday was a mess.

  158. Han shot first!

  159. No worries, Roamsy *double finger-guns ya*

  160. Never seen Star Wars.

  161. **GASPS**

  162. We had a shetland pony that somebody gave us when I was a kid. Mean little s.o.b., bucked me off all the time. The donkeys I’ve been around have either been total assholes or dumber than dirt. I mean can’t be taught a thing, can’t find their food that’s put in the same place everyday.

  163. Old horse it is.

  164. Give her a cow and tell her it’s a horse.

  165. Maybe she’ll want a milking goat. That’d be pretty cool.

  166. This morning, we had a *show* with breakfast.
    I heard this, beginning to be familiar, long tearing – scraping sound, followed by an impact.
    Looked out the computer-room window to see a green Toyota Corolla land on the passenger-side, pointing at the road, at the end of my driveway.
    If it had a *little* more momentum, it would have completed the roll and landed on its wheels, and on my garbage-can.
    Anita headed down the drive while I dialed 911.
    Before she got to the car, a dump-truck that was 30 seconds behind the Toyota stopped in the southbound lane and the driver ran over to the car, looked at the situation, realized he could not get the driver out through the doors, that the windshield had popped out from the top when the roof crushed, grabbed the top of the windshield and ripped it out with his hands.
    Anita said he yelled at the driver to wake-up! and grab the steering-wheel, as when I release your seat-belt, you will fall!
    He popped the seat-belt and the guy fell and was dragged out through the windshield, as a deputy pulled-up.
    The truck-driver and deputy got the guy seated on the ground, leaning against the deputys bumper, and the truck-driver hopped in his truck and left.
    I was still in the computer-room talking to fire-dispatch.
    When I wandered out there, I could see the skid in the same-old place.
    The guy was coming southbound and fell-asleep, or was distracted.
    He got to the half-left in the road and the noise from the passenger-side tires hitting the gravel woke him up.
    He looked out the window to see !TREES! and cranked the wheel hard left.
    He actually pulled three of the tires away from the rims, as was evident from the dirt, grass, and pieces of rhododendron sticking out out the tire-bead.
    He slid sideways down the shoulder and our property until he hit the culvert under our driveway, then went airborne.
    He was bleeding profusely from head and hands.
    Fire strapped him to a backboard with C-Collar and took him away.
    Deputy ran his record and told Anita that; “This ain’t his first rodeo.”
    If he follows form of his prior DUIs, he will claim that he wasn’t driving.

    That’s going to be tough, as he was alone in the car.

    TL;DNR

    So it goes…

  167. Did you find $20?

  168. I like a good beer buzz early in the morning
    And Billy likes to peel the labels
    From his bottles of Bud.

  169. The guy had worked swing-shift at Toray Composites, so it was really *Late at Night*, for him. His car smelled like a winery…

  170. Saw Anita’s pic of the car. Wow.

  171. And,
    He killed a 20 year-old Alberta Spruce and a Rhody!!!
    One of the Puget Sound Energy guys that came-out to examine the poll told Anita:
    “Damn! That looks like a $5k tree, don’t it?
    You should probably claim that against his insurance”…

  172. Hiney Winery.

    President – Big Thor Hiney

  173. People always over-correct and roll. Doze off, or texting and drift onto the shoulder, panic and jerk the wheel, and the wreck happens.

  174. Pendjo,
    We had those on the radio here, too!
    I thought it was just local…

  175. No they were all over I guess, but crafted to the local folks. About the time I got out of college they came on a C&W radio station out of Amarillo. Supposedly the winery was located in Happy, Texas which is a real life little town about 50 miles south of Amarillo on I27.

    Thor’s VP was his brother, Red Hiney and his office manager was either his sister or his wife, Ofelia Hiney. Lots of semi-filthy play on words, but it’s been too long now and I don’t remember any of them.

  176. We heard them on an “Indie Rock” station out of Seattle that only lasted about a year.
    They did a lot of really great stuff. Some really great local-based bits.
    One of the songs started:
    “Oh Don’t come to Seattle.
    The sun don’t shine up here.”
    I should have recorded some of it, as it’s all lost now, like tears in the rain.
    Time to die…

  177. That’s no Moon.

  178. Heh.
    I too thought that Hiney Winery was real and located in Hacumba in East San Diego County.

    Classic.

  179. Tell Jaba that I’ve got his money.

  180. What an incredible smell you’ve discovered.

  181. The Circle is now complete. When I met you I was but The Learner, now I am The Master.

  182. Pull out! You’re not doing any good back there!

  183. I used to bullseye womp rats…

  184. Your eyes are gazing back from
    Every little piece of glass
    You seem to smile from every place
    Sally cinnamon
    You are my derp


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