MMM 194: MJ doesn’t know why I post these

I’ll be in a class/meeting/lunch from 8am to 1pm, so talk amongst yourselves in the meanwhile.

Booty to start off.
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The tattoo makes me nervous.
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My arms used to look this good back when I could get to the gym.
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Postpartum bodies. Check out the carseats.
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Children born today will never know a world without selfies, unless the sweet EMP of reset saves us from them.
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Tasteful B&W.
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This post needs some arm veins.
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Not pictured: MJ in the same pose, Carin bouncing around in Zumba, and Jay eating a salad.
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Don’t say I never did anything for you.
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WAKE UP AND GO DO MONDAY THINGS!

153 Comments

  1. Monday?

    Shit.

  2. We practiced a play like that Colts play in high school but never ran it. It all hinged on the opposing team lining up on the main body of the team and leaving the center and back behind him alone.

  3. Car seats? I thought that was her lunch box!

  4. Missed the Colts, was watching the Cubs lose.

  5. That redhead needs to be a featured binder tab, ropey arm veins an all.

  6. After-action report on yesterday’s run: It sucked.

    woke up at 2 am with another fochin eye infection. Add into that I’ve had some sort of intestinal thing going for days …

    Being a stupid stubborn shit I went anyway. Took me 2 and half hours (20 min longer than my best time). I’m sure my pictures they took on the course look AWESOME. oh well. I finished.

    (I can’t believe I got another eye infection – sonofabitch)

    wakey wakey

  7. I spent all day lying on the coach (afterwards) listening to football (since I couldn’t see).

  8. I’m old enough to remember when the bathroom was used for taking a shit and/or shower rather than taking a pic of yourself.

    Also, the tab to fix mare’s login made me giggle like a tard. Well done, somebody.

  9. Car in. Did you here sparty beat bi blue on Saturday? If not, well be plagued with the last play for months.

  10. Here = Hear. bi = big.

    **fixed before hotspur gets here**

  11. We are a big football house so yes. The entire race I heard the “GO GREEN” shouted out to the “GO WHITE” response.

    Along with grumbling by Michigan fans.

    What a way to lose a game.

  12. I’m agnostic. It would have been nice for Michigan to win because they’ve had a rough haul for the last … how many years? But both fan sets can be assholes so … there’s that.

  13. Eye infection?

    Quit touching it!

    *submits insurance claim*

  14. I stupidly tried out my contacts on Saturday to see if I could wear them for the race on Sunday.

    The answer is (apparently) no.

  15. The tattoo says, “There’s a surprise for you down below.” (Hint: it’s a penis.)

  16. A penis. Or syphilis. Or maybe both.

  17. I’m not a tat person but I did see a picture today that made me think of the one instance when I would get one. It was a breast cancer survivor one and one woman had a double mastectomy and covered her front with tats. I would do that.

  18. Can we help you pick the tats, Carin?

  19. How much do tattoos cost? And why when there is a shit ton of other stuff to buy would people choose to buy tattoos?

    When I see a college football player covered in tats and whining about “not getting paid” I get the “you, sir, are a dumbass” look on my face.

    On the other hand, maybe tattoos aren’t expensive.

  20. That makes me recall the Beavis and Butthead episode where one of them got a tattoo of a butt on his butt.

    Hilarity ensued.

  21. Water heater day.

    I’ve been putting this off since 2011.

    *whines*

  22. mare, they would have plenty of money for tattoos if Uncle Sugar would just cough up the “living wage” for food, shelter, etc.

    Get with the program. May I suggest THIS website as a starting point for your reeducation.

  23. Paula’s brother makes a living running a tattoo shop in downtown Bangor. Enough for a wife and 2 kids to live on. His wife works part time at a community pool in another town. He is built like a fireplug which probably helps when dealing with his dirtbag clientele.

  24. Scott. Pull your hog out. That always makes unpleasant tasks more palatable.

  25. Heh, good thing I like you Jay. I clicked on your link and thought, “that son of a….”

  26. I saw a “60 women who have transformed their bodies” deal and most of them were very overweight. Each had a before and after photo. I was surprised at the number of women who had tattoos at or below the bikini line in their “before”. Made me think that was the only way a man would ever see their private area…if he was paid to put a tattoo on it. Gross.

  27. I heard an ad on the radio for a local tattoo parlor, with attached tattoo removal service.

  28. Made me think that was the only way a man would ever see their private area…if he was paid to put a tattoo on it. Gross.

    No, it’s for all the guys who don’t have to pay to see it.

  29. Guys aren’t discriminating. They’ll have sex with anyone, even the gross fatties.
    (Thank God)

  30. There’s a fortune to be made with tattoo removal

  31. Gross, fat women are also generally not all that discriminating either.

  32. http://www.thegwpf.com/matt-ridley-now-heres-the-good-news-on-global-warming/

    I won’t concede warming, but greening is one of those neat things that’s hard to argue with. Kind of like all the satellite imagery showing huge expansion of sea ice rather than the predicted reduction.

  33. Our neighbor, at our farm, has a red heeler called ‘Daisy’. She goes to every job her human gets (he does a lot of odd jobs – mostly painting). She feels very territorial while in her truck, so I asked her human if I could pet her. He said, ‘well it all depends on what kinda mood she’s in’, and came over to start petting her, his own self. And she laid her head on the open windowed door, and closed her eyes in bliss, in the morning sun.

    Mr. Beasn, whom she has made throw her ball many a time, stepped up and she let him pet her for 3 seconds and then she showed him the left side of her teeth to tell him to stop.

    I, whom she has only seen once before, let her sniff the back of my hand and she showed me all of her teeth and turned away.

    Daisy may be an asshole. But she is very loyal to her human and is the best doggeh he has ever had.

  34. Did Hotspur go on his river trip? And does anyone know which “river trip” he’s taking?

  35. Star is a homicidal heeler with strangers whereas Rowan is a little more open to meeting new people. They are definitely a unique breed and require close supervision and lots of activity to keep them content.

  36. I always figured that if a girl had a tattoo in a private place, it was something her boyfriend put her up to. A kind of mark of ownership, since it would probably make her less appealing to anyone else.

  37. If the H2 had a coloring book:

    http://tinyurl.com/pcjujjd

  38. They are definitely a unique breed and require close supervision and lots of activity to keep them content.

    Definite characters, that is for sure. Daisy likes to play ball and will make you do it until your arm falls off.

  39. A kind of mark of ownership, since it would probably make her less appealing to anyone else.

    ————————-

    Motorcycle handlebars on a girl’s ass cheeks will do that.

  40. Ass antlers.

  41. Guys aren’t discriminating. They’ll have sex with anyone, even the gross fatties.
    (Thank God)
    ———–
    I’m pretty discriminating, but for you, Mare, I’ll make an exception.

  42. Why this generation is fucked up

    Exhibit #47,359: Songs about your ride:

    Then:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QGMCSCFoKA

    Now:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGhoLcsr8GA

  43. Then:

    http://tinyurl.com/m4q6j58

  44. Comment by wiserbud on October 19, 2015 12:36 pm

    Why this generation is fucked up

    Exhibit #47,359: Songs about your ride:

    …wow.

  45. Given the synchronized dance component of that second video I’m calling it non-representative of the generation.

    When I drop my older kid off at high school there’s a row of kids with trucks that they’ve modified often splattered with fresh mud from an early morning ride. There’s hope if you look hard enough.

  46. Bet there’s no shotguns in the gun rack, like in Iowa in the 80s.

  47. No gun racks either!

  48. Pour some honey on it Carin.

  49. “When I drop my older kid off at high school there’s a row of kids with trucks that they’ve modified often splattered with fresh mud from an early morning ride. There’s hope if you look hard enough.”

    Yea. Pretty much. Don’t look for our future men and leaders in the cities. Just saying.

  50. An old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

    He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

    He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

    He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

    Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’

    As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the
    table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The
    old man said, they were just fine – they were used to sharing everything

    People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

    Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.

    This time the old woman said ‘No, thank you, we are used to sharing
    everything.’

    Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked ‘What is it you are waiting for?’

    She answered —–

    ‘THE TEETH’

  51. “Pour some honey on it Carin.”

    You first

  52. Funny that we’re talking mopeds and fat girls Iin The same thread. We all wanted to ride one back in the day as long as our friends didn’t catch us doing it.

  53. No, Mare, I’m here. We should be on the trip now, but we had to cancel it last fall when HotBride got so sick. We had to pay a year in advance, and it just wasn’t clear if or when she’d get better. So we thought it best to just cancel.

    We were supposed to do a Danube River cruise stopping in various places including Vienna and Budapest, with a side trip to Prague. Those three cities are at the top of my list to see. Maybe next year.

    If the muzzie invasion of Europe doesn’t settle down, we may have to just scratch them from the list.

  54. Water heater is heating!

    Only took 2 trips to HD. I think that may be a record.

  55. This water heater was about $300 a year ago.
    Thanks to Obama and the EPA it costs $429 now.

  56. 2 trips? Something else will break. No way you get off with only 2 trips.

  57. 1. Stockpile water heaters

    b. ???

    *: Profit!

  58. Stockpile: Water heaters, 100 watt light bulbs, and .45 ammo

    Oh, and some Beeman’s.

  59. Someone going to the store?

    We can always use more canned tomatoes.

  60. …and WD-40

  61. …and Red Vines/Twizzlers

  62. Depends

  63. Anti-itch cream, antifreeze, antihistamines, antiperspirant. And some antipasto salad from the olive bar.

    Oh, and Goldfish crackers.

  64. An ankle brace size: Hillary’s cankles.

  65. Large bag of Werther’s

  66. Sounds great, Hotspur, I’d love to do that trip also.

  67. Rainbow-dyed yarn, Gold Bond Powder, 2 litre of Cherry Coke, and some earbuds (flat cord).

  68. Tats are expensive. I work with people with thousands of dollars in tats. Even little ones start at about $200. I think Dan and I are the only associates without ink.

  69. I have some pencil lead in the palm of my hand, but no ink.

  70. Pickles, popcorn, pound cake, Pepsodent, potatoes, pudding pops, Pop-tarts, Preparation H, pizza rolls, peas, peanut butter, pork chops, Planters peanuts, pot roast, Pledge, pasta, pumpkin spice, Pepsi, parmesan cheese, pine nuts, Pringles, Portobello mushrooms, Pull-ups, pears, pens, Pedialyte, Pert and Pepto-Bismal.

  71. I’m pretty discriminating, but for you, Mare, I’ll make an exception.

    ——

    Xbradtc is long overdue for an ass kicking. And a private area kicking.

  72. LIfesavers, Butterscotch

  73. Depressing story alert, but this is the first I saw of this:

    http://www.akc.org/news/victims-service-dog-stayed-until-very-end/

    Wow, the gunman shot and killed someone in her freakin wheelchair, after having her out of the chair and on the floor. Plus her service dog stayed right there.

    Amazing, the level of cowardice in this particular specimen. And it’s the gun’s fault.

  74. I knew about the wheelchair. First read about the service dog yesterday.

  75. Can’t read your depressing story yet, Jay, but here’s one that will make you livid if you live in Illinois:

    https://news.yahoo.com/families-outraged-illinois-fails-pay-210047539.html

    (autoplaying video but it’s worth a watch and is short)

  76. oh… and duct tape, an eye-glasses repair kit, adding machine tape, 10-pack of D-batteries, Listerine breath strips, and some mascara remover.

  77. oh… and duct tape, an eye-glasses repair kit, adding machine tape, 10-pack of D-batteries, Listerine breath strips, and some mascara remover.

    ——-

    hahahahaha

    I would really like all that stuff.

  78. step it up on the Listerine breath strips.

    Just sayin.

    *runs

  79. Imagine the conversations (and language) used in the Hillary election headquarters when Biden says he’s in.

    Whew, blistering.

  80. *puts on running shoes, chases Jay for approximately 1/10 of a mile, then sits on park bench and has a Werther’s.

  81. She’ll ok the “Creeping” videos and talk up his swimming nekkid. #WarOnWomen

  82. Hopefully Biden’s camp responds with more stories about her never missing a happy hour

  83. Greetings, people who are shaking their heads at Chrimmas displays in stores.

  84. Next thing you know they’ll be selling Shamrock Shakes FFS

  85. I went ahead and got my my mom some flowers for Mother’s day today. I hope they’re still looking good by next May.

  86. Shamrock shakes year-round will be the next thing McDonald’s tries on the way to dying out. The last thing they try will be just serving burgers, fries, and nuggets.

  87. Jack In The Box has been serving its entire menu all day for years now, and their breakfast sammiches are better than McDonald’s.

    Oh, and don’t worry about the flowers, pg. I got your mom something else that she was able to enjoy today.

  88. Cyn spends too much time on the internet webs.

    LOL

  89. I served your mom some nuggets.

  90. Your Moms would like this:
    http://tinyurl.com/q72swmk

  91. This guy wins the comments on your link, mare:

    hitshappens 16 points : 3 replies : 8 hours ago reply

    There’s a japanese snack called Creampies. You’ll never find it because googling Japanese Creampies is a bad idea

  92. FREE SPN! Woo hoo!

  93. I’m not really sure I understand these posts.

  94. Buy a vowel, scott!

  95. I been waitin’ all day for Monday Night.

  96. Hey, MJ, have you checked out the new new Beach House album?

  97. Where you watching at, Scott?

  98. MaryAnn stole one of my mid-size bears. Took it into her doghouse. Her new napping snugglebuddy.

  99. I don’t want to tell you Cyn, Visiting is like playing Russian roulette with an AIDS cannon.

    It ends with .eu

  100. I know that site; I have it bookmarked.

    Roulette can be fun.

  101. Which one? Depression Cherry came out a few weeks ago but another album was released today.

    Saw them a few weeks back at a small venue in Asheville. They killed it.

  102. http://is.gd/fk88Zk

    Gesundheit.

  103. They tried to get me to call a number to remove a virus.

  104. I was talking about the newest one. “Thank Your Lucky Stars.” They wrote all the music at the same time they were writing and recording “Depression Cherry.” It’s a little more low-key.

  105. Your mom’s website ends with .ewww

  106. Big ass black widow in the garage. Really getting tired of them. At least they don’t jump like Hoppers.

  107. They jump sometimes, but they hate to be seen doing it. They only do it when you aren’t watching.

  108. They jump while you are sleeping.

  109. They jump while you’re awake

  110. They jump when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sakes.

  111. THAT’S a personal foul???

  112. They tried to get me to call a number to remove a virus.

    You clicked, diintcha.

  113. Thanks guys. Not like I don’t need sleep at some point.

  114. Any of you pre-med types know if you can get your doctor to print out a copy of the E-Script that they send in for you?

    My doc send in three scripts for me today for this ongoing AIDSLungGumEbola thing and fucked up two of ’em.

  115. I called and gave Steve my credit card info.
    He had an Indian accent, but he said he was from Tulsa so it has to be legit.

  116. Totes legit.

    TL

  117. Being a Giants fan isn’t easy.

  118. Easier than being a Lions fan.

  119. Cyn, still? You sound like MCPO.This years AIDSLungGumEbola takes forever to clear. Dan has had it for a week. I just realized that he’s ok with ketchup on a hotdog but not a hamburger so I/m torn about his recovery.

  120. http://is.gd/pwFocZ

  121. One of yous guys mentioned top gear on bbc here last year. I watched an episode tonight where they rode bikes from Saigon to Hanoi. Fucking hilarious is all it was.

  122. http://is.gd/Dan_is_Lilo_in_this_one

  123. Yep; been since Labor Day. I was supposed to pick up a nebulizer machine and a few other meds today.

    Denied.

  124. This looks interesting… http://www.meetup.com/We-are-Breitbart-Phoenix/

  125. http://is.gd/pwFocZ

    That is worthy of cropping into a new avatard!

  126. The Giants were doing good until Eli started throwing it to the other team…..

  127. Nice Cyn,
    I cannot make the 21st

  128. It’s like clockwork. Eli struggles and they start running the ball and don’t let him throw much. Once the running game is really rolling, they let him toss a few.

  129. Pupster, I love Lilo and Stitch, but c’mon…ketchup on a hot dog?

  130. If Manning chose a number between 1 and 10, he’d Pick Six.

  131. pendejo,

    I don’t watch Top Gear all the time, but I caught this episode a little while ago and I couldn’t stop fucking laughing:

    https://youtu.be/QQh56geU0X8

  132. Chilli is tomato based. Do you hate chilli dogs, Stitch?

  133. Vman, if you start driving now, you’ll make it. I’ll save you a seat.

  134. Hehe, Elliot was trying the sad eyes routine to get some of my dinner, but he’s so tired he fell asleep:

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/91943735@N00/shares/5Qn19F

    He went to doggie day care today, to get a little socializin. He’s pooped.

  135. Chili dogs are meh. I prefer Frito Pie to Chili Dogs.

  136. Good doggie!

    //feeds him J’ame’s headphones as a treat//

  137. Awwww…. Elliot is adorbs. //feeds him J’ames new shoes.

  138. So Dubya was badmouthing Cruz today, huh? Saved all his vitriol from not criticizing Teh Won. Asshole.

  139. He loves both of those treats, thkuvrymch.

  140. I like Frito Pie with hot dogs, so THERE!

  141. Did anybody subscribe to anybody else’s newsletter only to find out that their ideas actually weren’t at all intriguing today?

  142. Cuuuuuute! Give Elliot a good scritchin’ from Auntie Cyn.

  143. GOPe H8s Cruz above all things. He keeps calling them on their BS.

  144. Along with that Top gear link was this one. Same car and pretty damn funny. They almost pulled it off. They have some pretty talented people.

    “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJdrlWR-yFM”

  145. Way to kill it, new guy.

  146. Pretty impressive. I’m a hoot at parties.

  147. You ever have a day at work that just felt like it would never end? And then that day turned into three straight months? I’m ready to be bored at work again.

  148. You should be posting your pen and ink creations here, Sobek. Chop chop.

  149. He said chop chop.

  150. I come out at night ’cause I sleep all day
    Well, I’m the King Adrock and he’s M.C.A.
    Well I’m cruising, I’m bruising, I’m never ever losing
    I’m in my car, I’m going far and derp is what I’m using

  151. wire at will Chumpster

  152. Let ‘er rip.


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