Because We Need a New Post, Post

So what do you displaced morons think about Trump? I think he’s awesome. I’ve never watched The Apprentice, I don’t wear his crappy suits or ties, and I don’t drink Trump water. I do, however, think he’ll be in the race as long as he wishes. Why do I say this? The reasons are many, but I’m interested in hearing what you have to say so I’ll only give you a few:

  • Money–he has enough, and access to it equaled only by Hillary! But if you think she’d spend her own money on a job you’re as smart as a fat intern.
  • Base–he has the base in the palm of his hand and has somehow gotten average people to see him that way as well. My guess is that it isn’t about being rich, but more about being different. Jeb, Scott, Kasich, Jindal, etc are boring. They talk the same, sound the same, act the same, and for the most part are career politicians. Yucky fuck.
  • Obama–he delivered us into the age of the celebrity president.
  • Technology–apparently Trump tweets and goes on a ton of shows, does a lot of interviews, and speaks right past the press to voters. But the real contrast lies in his utter lack of technology in live appearances. It’s striking to see a candidate speak from memory.
  • Genuine and credible–the only two things you need to be successful. Like it or not, people perceive that he has these qualities. Again, compare and contrast with Hillary or anyone else in the race. They’re as genuine as Bill Clinton chatting up a fat intern about how he’s going to leave Hillary…right after he blows a load on her face.
  • Ivanka Trump–man she’s hot. I don’t generally go for blondes but I’d like to get to know her better. Maybe we could get coffee and talk about business or something. Emphasis on the ‘or something.’
  • Bald Eagles like Trump–they think he’s tremendous. Possibly, no absolutely, love him. Love him tremendously, which is huge.
  • Strong–I sort of believe him when he says he’ll make the military so strong that other countries will stay in line. I can imagine him saying he’s going to bomb ISIS back to the stone age and actually doing it. People like strength, not statements like, ‘my calculus has changed and after reviewing my changing calculus my calculus has told me that relying on calculus is the way to defeat ISIS.’
  • Bad behavior–you expect him to be bad so he gets a pass on saying or doing things that send fat, green haired, nose pierced, SJWs to the fainting couch. It’s a feature not a bug.
  • Milania–man she’s hot. I generally go for brunettes and I’d like to get to know her better. Maybe we could get coffee and talk about business or something. Emphasis on the ‘or something.’
The New First Family--No Fat Chicks!

The New First Family–No Fat Chicks!

186 Comments

  1. 1) comb over.

  2. 4) his explanation for #3

  3. But what about his wife and daughter? I mean, damn.

  4. *looks up word ‘receding’ in dictionary

    FUCK

  5. Trump/Carson 2016

    Burn It All Down

  6. Trump/Biden 2016

    Party first, then burn it down

  7. The Don has LiV appeal, and recent immigrant appeal, and U.S Minority Appeal. His name is dropped colloquially in Rap songs (I think).

    He’s the dirty man’s Obummer. I like what you said, he’ll run as long as he wants to.

  8. I’m getting close to the “burn it all down” category.

    I don’t think it matters anymore about things people have done or said or supported or snorted.

    As evidenced by the current dumb F voted in TWICE. And as evidenced by Hillary, Biden and Sanders even possibly being considered. Obviously being a dumbshit doesn’t matter.

    I think MJ is right, for votes it’s better to be a celebrity.

    Gone are the days when the rational elect a leader.

  9. I don’t really care who wins but I do think Trump would be fun.

    I don’t believe I share any of his beliefs but I like the way he talks. It’s hilarious.

  10. I don’t think he wins.

    As the republican field narrows, someone else will rise to the top.

  11. I don’t think it matters anymore about things people have done or said or supported or snorted.
    As evidenced by the current dumb F voted in TWICE.
    ————————–
    Mare’s musing.

  12. It’s just that the rational and politically articulate lost to trash populism and “New Shiney Objects” of the Distracted Age.

    Someday, when the free people are huddled in a cave on Mt. Denali, they will analyze what happened.

  13. I was at Target today returning something and a gal off to the side of the return line took a double take when she saw me and stared at me. I didn’t make eye contact but could see her out of the corner of my eye.

    Later I was walking through the store she quickly walked up to me and said, “Can I ask you a question?”

    I said “Sure.”

    She looked me up and down and asked me “What sports do you or have you played?” (in a Russian accent)

    I proceeded to tell her.

    She then asks, “Were you a gymnast?” and I said, “no.”

    She stuck her chin out and walked away.

    I just kind of chuckled but thought it was weird. She didn’t even say one word after I answered.

    Stupid Russians (or possibly Ukrainians).

  14. Comment by Mr Chumpo on September 10, 2015 1:49 pm
    It’s just that the rational and politically articulate lost to trash populism and “New Shiney Objects” of the Distracted Age.

    ——-

    Yes.

    Someday, when the free people are huddled in a cave on Mt. Denali, they will analyze what happened.

    —–

    God, I hope there’s alcohol.

  15. If I’m in that cave, there will be alcohol.

    Take that, liver.

  16. MJ, when you go to the cave, give me a call.

    Screw our livers, it’s the end times!

  17. Matter of fact, bring all the drugs you got!

  18. That tumbler deal was funny xbradtc.

  19. MOM, MARE IS LOOKING LIKE MARY LOU RETTON AGAIN!!!!

  20. *ends poat boycott

  21. DOH! Wrong order!

  22. Also, it’s just Denali, no Mt. attached.

    Racist.

  23. Jay, that’s the funny part, I don’t look like a gymnast at all other than kind of fit.

  24. emphasis on “kind of”

  25. “Bring all the drugs…”

    We’re going to need a bigger cave.

  26. This cave is going to be awesome!

    I’ll bring the chips.

  27. PARTY AT THE CAVE!!!!

    LET’S PANTS MJ!!!

  28. That escalated quickly.

  29. Hehehehehshshehsh.

    I think I have a new theme for this years H2 Holiday Card.
    I knew it would materialize.

  30. Hey, Rosetta got a bike…..

    http://tinyurl.com/pap36nl

  31. Hi. I’ve been spending too much time on Twitter. Has anything happened here?

  32. Rosetta is favoring a more brilliant magenta on road trips, I see.

  33. George, what the heck, good to see you.

  34. The heck? I’m like Mike Heck.

  35. I thought your last name was Hunt.

  36. *bans J’ames from Mt McKinley fallout cave*

  37. I just made Wiser a sheet for printing out MJ’s drink of the week recipes. He’s using it at a local liquor store. *hic*

  38. A sheet? Where at?

  39. I’ll put it on imgur

  40. Just got done reading Scott Adams take on Trump as a linguistic wizard. I don’t fully buy it but it’s an interesting read.

  41. Heh, nutmeggers.

  42. Have they always had a sponsor for that segment? can’t remember.

  43. I dunno. Anyhow they will put the recipe into the blank space.

  44. MJ, just shave your head already and embrace the convenience.

  45. With a big sharpie.

  46. I was thinking puce Crayola.

  47. MJ, what Leon said. I’d do it someday but I have an ugly mole thing on the side of my head. Some just call it my face.

  48. Shave your head, do way too many curls, overtan and start dating 22 year olds.

  49. Some just call it my face.

    ——

    hahaha Good one.

  50. I vote we start calling them “Muslim Invaders” rather than “Refugees”

  51. My State Farm guy is Franco Cianfaglioni. I was on the phone with the main office and the lady says ……

    “How long have you been with Franco Chean, Cheefag…” I interrupt and tell her that we call him Franco Italian Dessert

    I thought she was going to die. It took her a couple of minutes to get it back together.

  52. MJ, when you go to the cave, give me a call.
    Screw our livers, it’s the end times!

    Matter of fact, bring all the drugs you got!
    ———————————–
    Check!

  53. Shave your head, do way too many curls, overtan and start dating 22 year olds.

    Step one: complete.
    Step two: on hold.

  54. This is 5 years old. http://is.gd/acZsmB

    Europe is gone.

  55. I blame Martin Luther.

  56. He was anti-Crusade, to the point where the Muslim invaders literally had to be at the gates of Vienna before he thought that Christians maybe, possibly ought to be defending their countries a smidgen. The whole Protestant movement at the time joined his sentiment.

    That and the whole aborting and contracepting themselves out of existence thing, which Martin didn’t back but is a logical outgrowth of his theology.

  57. Trump is the “Not the GOP Leadership that has Fucked me Dry” candidate.

  58. I’m not a Trump Humper, but he is starting to look like my LiFB candidate. I think he’s a Prog D-rat. Don’t care. He’s the most likely to FY;NQ the debates.

  59. Our political system is broken. Couple of things not expected by the Founders, 1) that the electorate would be so incredibly stupid and stunningly under educated and 2) which is related, the need for term limits.

    The whole filibuster, no filibuster, filibuster bullshit just gave us a sweet, sweet Iran deal.

    FU McConnell, you worthless piece of shit.

  60. It wasn’t the Founding Founders that fucked up. It was subsequent amendments. The FFs knew that in order to vote, you had to have skin in the game. Had to be a property holder. They knew the dangers of a FSA even back then. I think State legislature should get to pick Senators, as intended. Congress was never supposed to be a FT job.

  61. Mare, remember that when the nation was founded, suffrage was a limited franchise to free men who owned land. They never expected the unaccomplished or the unpenised to have a say in the political process.

  62. I H8 the GOPe as much as the MFM and most Democrats.

  63. As I said….”NOT EXPECTED BY THE FOUNDERS”

  64. IDUTAO

    I Dont Understand Those Acronyms, Osoloco11

  65. Well, I was reminding you that they did expect it, that’s why they disenfranchised the un-landed, and assumed men would vote their family’s interests. Then early leftists broke that reasoned structure.

  66. There a few, very few people in this country who are as educated (even those who educated themselves) as the Founding class at the time.

    Very few distractions other than their hobbies which were varied. They worked and studied. They were curious, and interested, well read and well versed.

    Ted Cruz’s mind is of a similar vein. Not comparing Cruz to Founders, he’s just genuinely smart and well educated.

    Obama went to Columbia and Harvard and his education is smoke and mirrors.

    Freidman, Sowell couple of other examples of fine minds.

  67. FFs Founding Founders. FSA Free Shit Army. Mare, they did expect it. They warned about it. Subsequent amendments started the decline. Wilson and FDR were the worst.

  68. I have to look at some more stats but women voting doesn’t appear to have been great either. uuuufffffff

    There is NO way the Founders expected the dumbing down that is the American population. Impossible.

  69. Evening.

  70. Wilson was horrible. FDR-horrible. Carter-horrible. Obama-beyond disastrous.

  71. HAISTKWFSAMIYDTFSA?

    How Am I Supposed To Know What F S A Means If You Don’t Type Free Shit Army?

  72. Obama, the immigration president.

  73. Mare, some of them lived long enough to see Andrew Jackson’s supporters 😜

  74. And I’m already steeling myself for the primaries and which “electable” dumbass the GOP will thrust upon us.

  75. Howdy, Jew.

  76. I’m in a horrible, no good, very bad mood.

    But it’s soon to be drinky time and that will smooth the edge off my hatred of the elected class.

  77. Comment by osoloco11 on September 10, 2015 6:27 pm
    Mare, some of them lived long enough to see Andrew Jackson’s supporters 😜

    —-

    heh, That’s true.

  78. HAISTKWFSAMIYDTFSA?
    How Am I Supposed To Know What F S A Means If You Don’t Type Free Shit Army?

    ——–

    lollololol

    I have to work very hard during the late night talk to keep up with Oso.

  79. Isn’t Hillary’s planned spontaneity hilarious.

    I may be unlikable but I’m stupid! Hillary 2016

  80. I guess Im at a disadvantage because The H2 is my social network (heh) and I have no way of knowing what all the ripass new coolkid acronyms are.

    Please to post an Index and I’ll get right on it.

  81. I’m actually more likely to emoji speak than acronyms in RL. (Real Life)

  82. Some music to cheer me up:

    http://tinyurl.com/pqhnq2q

  83. RL. (Real Life)

    —–

    hahahahah….I shit you not, it took me a while to figure out RL.

  84. I get 95% of my acronyms from the HQ.

  85. Mare, if you aren’t watching The Jim Gaffigan Show on TVLand, you need to. Last night’s episode was epic!

  86. Shoot, I like that guy, Oso, I’ll have to watch.

  87. They replay it several times if you don’t have On Demand.

  88. Thanks Oso.

  89. YW. (You’re Welcome) 😘

  90. Mare, you should binge watch from the beginning.

  91. Watching the Bible one now.

  92. Football starts in 45 minutes.

  93. Steelers/Cheatriots

  94. Steelers QB is a rapist.

  95. True dat.

  96. Spygate is so stupid. There is a reason why every defensive coordinator covers their mouth when talking. They have been doing that for more than 50 years.

  97. It is all stupid. Video has been available for how long? Sign stealing in baseball for how long? If you AREN’T doing it you’re a mook

  98. If Belichunk is The Best Coach Ever, why don’t the Browns have a Super Bowl?

  99. He was only there a couple of years, and he did get them to the playoffs.

    Browns in the playoffs = winning the Super Bowl.

  100. I was at this game. http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/199501010cle.htm

    They have been to the playoffs once since.

  101. I’m old enough to have family members that remember Browns Championships BEFORE the Super Bowl. (Scott, I just like busting Belichunk “Not the players, but the system” chops)

  102. Wow! Dan was at the Jets/Steelers playoff game in 2004. That was the year I took him at his word that he didn’t want anything special for his 40th Birthday.

  103. That game sucked. New Years Day, about 35 degrees and raining, and we drove over a couple hundred miles of ice to get there.

    I dodged a spinning car that started a 50 something car accident. I-90 closed for several hours.

    I think that was the last game in the old Browns stadium. It was a dump.

  104. It was a dump. See also Old Busch Stadium. Tropicana Field. Irving stadium. I loved the Astrodome…DUMP.

  105. Did anybody explain to anybody else that a pedometer wasn’t a tool for keeping their kids safe from sex offenders today?

  106. We went to a Buffalo Sabres game on Opening Day at Marine Midland. Banners hung. Earl of Bud. In NM, no one ever uses their horns, because “Gangs”. Horns. Wind. Rain. Maid of the Mist suspended the day before. It was culture shock and AWESOME!

  107. I saw an Oilers game. It was their last year in Houston. Pretty sad.

  108. We flew into Houston, grabbed a rental car, and just started driving. We stopped for steaks, and then a bunch of beers. I woke up the next day on a balcony, looking at the Astrodome, with no planning at all.

    That is a miracle in Houston.

  109. We saw Barry Sanders play in Detroit. He was awesome. The Silverdome sucked

  110. I really liked the Astrodome for baseball. I liked Tropicana Field in Tampa until we had a roach the size of Dan’s beer cup

  111. I hate him for retiring the way he did.

  112. FOOTBALL!!!!!!

  113. Jeez, just play the game, the preliminaries go on way too long.

  114. I’ll be living about 11 minutes from Tropicana.

  115. Scott, we were there for Darryl Utley’s Thumbs Up return. It was bittersweet. I was underwhelmed by the Silverdome.

  116. Mare, I like the AC. I have one friend and one family member in law on staff with the Rays.

  117. Why not 10?

  118. I probably know more Oso relatives than my own.

  119. If I leave out Laura’s family, I’ve got two relatives.

  120. Scott is like Dan. Dan has no real extended family. My cousin Tony’s wife’s brother is the trainer for the Rays. He gets us free tickets when we are in Tampa.

  121. When Dan’s dad passed, my family made up most of the mourners.

  122. Biggest adjustment for Dan in the last 25 years has been familia. He has benefitted with free tickets from 2nd and 3rd cousins. And inlaws. Everyone loves Dan. MiL is coming around to assisted living and selling her house. CiL is a realtor. SiL is resistant, but Dan does all the work.

  123. SiL fell on a walk. Dan has been doing EVERYTHING for his mom for a month. In addition to the few things SiL did. My family is on stand by to help. Dan is getting ready to give the Gorton Good-bye to his sis, and let my familia clean up.

  124. Gronk!

  125. I <3 the Gronk! (Marky Mark reality show)

  126. When I was ten I had dinner with Brian Sipe. He asked me if I had ever heard of The Browns. I told him I hadn’t because I thought he meant, like shit or something. I was really embarrassed for him to bring that up at the dinner table, I mean come on, buddy.

    I didn’t know he was the QB.

  127. Brian Sipe created a line of cards and Browns mercantile that was awesome at the time. No real social media

  128. Comment by scott on September 10, 2015 8:44 pm
    Why not 10?

    ——-

    hahahahah….comment hall of fame

  129. I don’t know if I’ve ever told this here. We were in the West End in Dallas. My Dad was managing parking lots at the time. Dan and I went into a card shop. Saw a Larry Doby card for 2.50. I was like NO WAY. Dan was ready to buy. Asked counter clerk if the rookie card was really $2.50? She said yes. Much deliberation. Went back to shop. Owner back from lunch. Nearly had a heart attack. This is marriage. Dan still thinks we should’ve scored a Larry Doby for $2.50. Real rookie card cost was $250

  130. I just yelled “that’s stupid!” at the TV during the promo for “Blind Spot”.

    Now what should we talk about?

  131. Hi Puppy. How much bug spray did you drink today?

  132. Pup, Steeler Dan has scared the Divas under the bed. I’m depressed and missing my dad. I turn 52 tomorrow. Bright spot: I was told I don’t look a day older than 35.

  133. New manager is a Steeler fan with a “Smoking Hot Bod!”

  134. Dan worked with her before.

  135. Young guys have noticed that she close talks with Dan. They are in awe. I may be a 52 yr old apple, but Dan loves me. It is funny to watch him with young women that are hitting on him.

  136. She came in on her day off to chat with Dan. Club Manager told me that she has a history of hooking up with young guys. Dan is 20 years older than her. As long as she does her job, I’m OK. Everyone at the Club is in wait and see mode. Retail drama.

  137. “Funny”

  138. I think “Funny” Dan is odd. He really doesn’t like sexually promiscuous women. Too much Catholic. I’m lucky I snagged him when I did. He’s Shiite Catholic.

  139. I drove 2 hours round trip in rush hour to the dealership to pick up a remote for my truck, the salesman programmed it in about 30 seconds. I had no idea. I guess you cycle the key 3 or 4 times until the doors lock, then you push the lock then unlock buttons on the remote and viola, new remote.

  140. I wouldn’t know. We have a standard with roll up windows.

  141. I’d like to buy Dan a beer sometime. I can probably score you guys some Twins tickets, I think they are free.

  142. You have to bring your own Deet though.

  143. It is funny to watch him with young women that are hitting on him.

    It’s not that fucking funny. Got little to do with Dan. She’s disrespecting YOU. Are you a latina or aren’t you?

  144. I could cut a bitch but I know Dan. Dan is deer in the headlights,

  145. Chumpo, if I ever get to meet you in person I’m going to give you a hug you’ll never forget.

  146. Dan is cute. He thought his wedding band was a shield. BF and I had a conversation with a bank chick back in the day.

  147. Trump will be like Schwarzenegger. Says most of the right things…gets elected…bends the knee to the unions and special interests.

  148. Beasn, I H8 Trump. I H8 GOPe even more. Burning times

  149. BF grew up in onion fields. I was lucky with apple orchards. She H8s Indios

  150. Chumpo, if I ever get to meet you in person I’m going to give you a hug you’ll never forget.
    ————-

    We’ve told you to quit humping legs, Pups.

  151. Demented and sad, but social.

  152. Go Bucks!

  153. Wow – new water heater makes really hot water! Apparently the old one had been getting most of its “heat” from the insulating blanket and the ambient temperature in the attic.

    Mr. TiFW checked the date on the old one – it was manufactured in 1994.

  154. She came in on her day off to chat with Dan. Club Manager told me that she has a history of hooking up with young guys. Dan is 20 years older than her. As long as she does her job, I’m OK.

    http://is.gd/upnCRT

  155. Just got done reading Scott Adams take on Trump as a linguistic wizard.

    Hunh? Are people not hearing the same Trump I’m hearing?

  156. I guess “MN nice” is a thing around here. My family and I have decided to stay OH assholes.

  157. You will be assimilated eventually, Pupster.

  158. Lauraw,it is funny. Dan is oblivious. All the young guys are ready to high five Dan forever. Fist bump city. Dan thinks she needs to grow up.

  159. Comment by Pupster on September 10, 2015 10:37 pm
    Chumpo, if I ever get to meet you in person I’m going to give you a hug you’ll never forget.

    ——

    Interesting, I feel the same way.

  160. Fist bumps all around

  161. We are compililing a MN weirdness list. It will make a fine coffee table book.

  162. STFU Paul Bunyan!

  163. Anyone ever close talks or hugs Mr. Beasn, while he’s at work, I can usually smell it* on him when he gets home.

    Him and the kids know, they can never put one over on my nose.

    *same when he eats out for lunch or the kids have friend over. I was a hound dog in a previous life*

  164. Hunh? Are people not hearing the same Trump I’m hearing?

    It’s not that he’s any grade of orator, but that he changes the conversation we’re all having by virtue of his statements. He can and has moved the Overton Window on a few things. Like I said, have a look at the posts, it’s a strange take on the thing.

  165. I can’t stay up for this game. See you at zero boob thirty.

  166. Women don’t close talk with me, but I don’t bait them by wearing a wedding band.

  167. I’m not a hugger. Just saying. No phones, no hugs.

    Unless a I’m drunk then everything goes.

  168. Well….Mr. Beasn works in an office of male engineers. Every once in a while, a former female coworker will stop by for business or lunch with a group…..or an Indian is over for a few weeks….both leave behind their scent. ‘She’ because she hugged. ‘He’ because he doused himself in so much cologne it sticks to anyone that walks by.

  169. I may close talk, but it’s only because I’m hard of hearing.

  170. Dan is cute. He thought his wedding band was a shield. BF and I had a conversation with a bank chick back in the day.

    Wedding rings are shields, they’re freaking magnets.

  171. My husband wears his wedding band but he says he doesn’t get hit on because he’s too ugly.
    I don’t think it’s that. He’s not a flirt and comes off as a Boy Scout.

  172. Wut?

  173. Look at Clenis. One of the ugliest fothermuckers I’ve ever seen and yet women seem to drop their drawers when he enters a room.

    Women – hooers – tomato – tomoto

  174. I received an email Wednesday saying I had an appointment with my Cardiologist on my day off tomorrow. I went because I am on several BP meds and my BP is high but stable. After blood work and a stress test I have been pronounced “strong and healthy”

    Why do I need to go back every 6 months?

    I have things to do tomorrow and sitting in a waiting room for an EKG is not one of them.

    My first Texas fishing charter is in 2 weeks! Looking forward to it!
    A offshore Oil Rig trip is next.

  175. Actually, the husband is careful when he’s around other women. He doesn’t like how people gossip. Even in an office of men, people talk. He’s of the opinion that men and women cannot be just friends. So, he’s careful not to say or do anything that may disrespect me or someone else’s spouse.

  176. Vmax, the why is probably because you’re on several BP meds and your BP is still high. Maybe?

  177. COA is correct. When I was happily married, I had to many offers to count. It was like Voodoo, when she left, the offers dried up even though I still wore the ring.

  178. That is why I went in the first place Beasn, but after tests and an A Okay?

    I am griping, I have to buy and install a battery in my truck tomorrow and go grocery shopping, but I guess I can squeeze it in.

  179. Yeah, you should and may your BP be lower.

    I hope your pups are doing okay.

  180. Zeke is fine, Gabe had a bath tonight. Many towels and brushes later he is silky soft, fluffy and not stinky.

  181. The tax man’s taken all my dough
    And left me in this stately home
    Lazing on a sunny afternoon
    And I can’t derp my yacht
    He’s taken everything I got
    All I’ve got’s this sunny afternoon


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