MMM 188: Laboring

It being Labor Day, I simply have too much work to do to spend a lot of time writing anything today.

Ab sweat, rather than veins.
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Tatted butt selfie.
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Getting ready for some pullups.
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I can’t do this. Chances are neither can you.
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I can do this though. Can you?
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I think this might be Robin Gallant. Not certain.
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Tucked in nicely.
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I don’t get the point of her shirt.
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Have a nice holiday if you can.

215 Comments

  1. Now to feed the horses and clean the coop.

  2. Mare: Where’s your dick?

    Mr. Mare: Is that a euphemism?

    Mare: Yes.

  3. I’m behind on hours so I’ll have to work some today. Hopefully no more than five. Then I get to finish sanding a bookcase and paint it.

    Also, I just spent $1200 on a tuxedo, a new suit, shirts, etc. That sobbing sound you hear is my credit card.

  4. I traded watching the baby for horse feeding duty.

  5. I wonder if these women are the other side of the coin; skinny jeans fem boys?

  6. Big asses and fake boobs.

  7. The girl in the squat rack next to mine yesterday was doing Romanian deadlifts and split squats while wearing a pair of pink spandex short-shorts. Lord, try to make me a better man.

    Also, can someone call an ambulance because I think I may have lifted far too much.

  8. I wonder if these women are the other side of the coin; skinny jeans fem boys?

    These girls wouldn’t be caught dead with a skinny-jean man-bun. Most of them are probably dating some bearded crossfit douche.

  9. The girl in the squat rack next to mine yesterday was doing Romanian deadlifts and split squats while wearing a pair of pink spandex short-shorts. Lord, try to make me a better man.

    It’s really, really hard to keep my eyes on my own work when stuff like that happens, but I’ll take that any day over having to stand anywhere near a guy power-curtseying with 3 plates.

  10. power-curtseying?

  11. “Squats” to way above parallel.

  12. Happy Labor Day!

    You non-union bastards and bitches.

  13. Ah, ok. That’s what I thought.

  14. You non-union bastards and bitches.

    Having worked in close proximity to the UAW now for a few months has put me ever more strongly in favor of repealing the Wagner Act.

  15. All Hail!

    I was in a Union in Showbiz. Not sure what I got for $1800 anual dues.
    What I didnt get was:
    -any jobs. We found our oen work which was fine
    -rabble rousing meetings w coffee and donuts. I bought all my own
    -shop stewards or any saftey/professional oversight
    Whatever.
    Big Labor Indeed.

  16. I’m listening to head banging music in the last spare moments before I have to go in and listen to pop music drivel for the next few hours,

    *cries

  17. I have just enough time to listen to cats fucking in a closet. One quick tune.

  18. During college I worked at the Boston Envelope Company for a few summers. Since it was a union shop we had to pay dues. Every Friday the union guy would come around and collect some cash (I’ve long since forgotten how much, maybe $10?). I have no doubt we were buying his beer for the weekend with that money. We made $12/hour which was way above the minimum wage back then so I didn’t give a shit.

  19. I liked driving a forklift around and loading trucks and stacking pallets of paper in the warehouse. They started me on a device known as the “String and Button Machine”. It completed putting the little strings and paper buttons on interoffice mail envelopes. One by one you took an envelope, inserted it into the slot, stepped on a button, withdrew the envelope and manually cut the string with a big pair of scissors. For 8 hours a day minus breaks and lunch. That taught me the value of higher education as much as washing dishes did.

  20. It’s 90 degrees already.

  21. Everyone needs to work a menial job. Slinging popcorn, folding clothes, putting buttons on envelopes, packing studs up three flights of stairs. It makes you appreciate an office job.

  22. I was taught to drive a forklift by some guy in 5 minutes. No way would that fly today.

  23. I had a similar job, Jimbro. I made part of a fuel line for oil burners, my task took about 4 seconds.

  24. We’re at 85 here. It’s been perfect weather for days. The rain arrives later this week. We abandoned camp for home this morning since everyone has work or school tomorrow and we like to get all our running around done early enough to chill in the evening.

  25. See the copper fuel line on the left? http://is.gd/QZHW6I

    Grab a copper tube, place nut on it, flare, place another nut, flare, bend.
    Grab a copper tube, place nut on it, flare…….

    I bet I made about 25,000 of those things a week.

  26. It was hot as hell in that factory. They would send us home when it got over 105.

  27. Everybody that worked there was dumb as a stump, except for one guy.
    Me and him became friends.

    Turns out he was a career criminal.

  28. I just got back from the labor day parade. Lots of unions and politicians.

    And a hoopty show!!!

  29. How long did you last?

    My only salvation was ROTC training camps that took me away for a while and the knowledge it was only a summer job. I got my older brother a job there and my parents were mortified when he kept working there after graduation with a dual Physics/EE major from ULowell. It took him about 8 or 9 months to get a real job working on space based lasers and finally move out.

  30. http://is.gd/tP73kM

  31. It was a summer job between high school and college.
    Worst summer ever.

  32. Milk Crates every 19 seconds. I worked the swing shift. I also learned to op a forklift in 5 min from another guy who lifted my forklift w a bigger forklift. It was the way they stocked these giant shelves.

  33. My high school friends all had jobs at a light fixture manufacturer in Fall River, MA. Everyone worked their shitty jobs in the day and then we’d gather at my friends house and drink beer from a beer ball http://is.gd/pb9CHp and watch baseball. Saturday night was either the drive-in or a pit party and Sunday we’d pile in a friend’s big ass American car and sleep it off on Horseneck Beach.

  34. AoSHQ has fallen to The Cult!

  35. My summer job for two years in college was at a unionized beef packing plant. Armor shut it down during the middle of the second summer because the union wouldn’t agree to a new contract. There hasn’t been a beef run through that plant since then. A local tu bought the facility about 10’years ago and makes dog food there now.

  36. The Band?

    What happened over there?

  37. UAW is currently determining which of the big 2.5 are the weakest so they can decide who to strongarm this month and set precedent for the remainder. My holiday calendar is technically tentative until that contract is final.

    It would be just awful if negotiations failed.

  38. If we can automate driving the car — moving a giant robot at high speed through an environment of mildly controlled chaos — I promise that there’s no reason for humans in the factory. We aren’t even allowed to research that.

  39. The Band?

    What happened over there?

    No, the cult of effortless, delicious smoked meat.

  40. The school gave back all the school work papers etc for the whole of last academic year. I found this essay by one of my kids:

    I don’t like cauliflower
    Cauliflower is the werst thing! Mommy cuts it. I don’t like it. If I put it in my mouth it will fall out. I cannot eat it!

    Quite a brutal assessment of cauliflower, I must say.

  41. Also quite poetic.

  42. Until I tried it roasted, I had no use for cauliflower.

  43. I thought one of the tenets of Dot Indian cooking was to disguise cauliflower in a spicy sauce so that no one is the wiser?

  44. “I don’t like it. If I put it in my mouth it will fall out. I cannot eat it!”

    ——-

    Hillary says that about Bill’s left nut.

    I don’t know what I’m saying.

  45. Jimbro, we try to stay away from overly spicy food at home.

  46. Comment by Tushar on September 7, 2015 1:44 pm
    Jimbro, we try to stay away from overly spicy food at home.

    ——

    Wait a minute I thought you were Indian??

  47. To be sure, my Irish father enjoyed his boiled potatoes with most evening meals. Had my teacher asked me to write a similar essay the peeled, quartered and boiled potato would have had the starring role.

  48. I thought the overly spicy food was to mask the taste of slightly rotted meat.

  49. Spicy was probably a bad word choice. How about savory or delicious?

  50. No, that’s pretty much a myth. Societies figure out how to preserve meat pretty quick, and in fact it would often be fresher than today, where your steak can sit in a store cooler for days.

    Spices were a sign of wealth. Proof that one could afford to bring them from other lands and had the time and money to use the effectively.

  51. >> Wait a minute I thought you were Indian??

    Mare, a lot of Hostages have met me and made their own assessment. Alas, you will just have to take my word that I am Indian.

  52. I like guys who say, “alas.” I didn’t think I would but I do.

  53. Here is my latest photo for you to decide for yourself.

  54. Leon, do you think those ab rollers (as shown above) are effective?

  55. Great hair!!

  56. One of my jars fell on its side. Burned myself a half dozen times getting them all back upright.

    Fuck canning.

  57. Fuck canning.

    —-

    hahahahaha

  58. *gets can opener, opens can of tomatoes bought for 69 cents*

  59. Mare, I think they’re effective, but not necessarily moreso than other abdominal exercises. In large part I suspect you’re training your serratus muscles more than abdominals.

  60. Thanks, Leon.

  61. The garden was producing more than I could consume. I had to try something.

  62. Did you try throwing them at people?

  63. Fill a basket and leave it on your neighbor’s doorstep. And then run so they can’t fling the zucchini back at you in anger.

  64. I ate a lot of zucchini, gave away almost as much. Now I’ve got summer squash to eat. I’m not planting any next year, I think, and I’ll do the pumpkins elsewhere. Just tomatoes, peppers, and alliums in the garden next year.

  65. So I’ve been emailing back and forth with this girl I met over eharmony, and it’s like applying for a security clearance, what with all the questions.

  66. Ah, Labor Day … I’m not laboring, but have spent most of the past 3 years working 7 days a week. I worked for The General @MPG for nearly 25 years, got ditched in The Great Downsizing of ’09. Am now @slightly over 3 years doing the same thing (test driving) for Fiat Chrysler, making less than half what I did at GM. I’m union now, was salary before. Yay, Unidentified Alien Workforce???

  67. <i.So I’ve been emailing back and forth with this girl I met over eharmony, and it’s like applying for a security clearance, what with all the questions

    Well, you do hang out here, so that’s an issue.

  68. <i.So I’ve been emailing back and forth with this girl I met over eharmony, and it’s like applying for a security clearance, what with all the questions

    Damn HTML code.

  69. Whattya do, Felix? I’m an engineer at Henry Ford’s old company for the time being, working on making Florida roads safer.

  70. So I’ve been emailing back and forth with this girl I met over eharmony, and it’s like applying for a security clearance, what with all the questions.

    Send her a redacted SF-86. Saves time.

  71. Hello Alex,

    Thanks for your email ..I must confess i really like your straight forwardness in this email telling me how you feel and all..I think we really do have lots in common and i want you to know i will really love to meet you when i get back to Colorado Springs and hopefully see if we could get to see that spark that’ll shoot the friendship to the next level..I think we will have to start with a date and then see what goes on from there…With that being said,What is your idea of a perfect date?As for me i think i Night out on a Dinner will be great after then maybe we could go to the cinemas to watch a movie and then go home maybe to my place or your place since i live alone .I think you really know what you want in a woman and i do know what i want as well,so meeting each other face to face shouldn’t not be a bad idea..I really dont know what else to add right now,like i said before i am still new to this, but i guess we could really get to know more about each other if we put in some effort..Well i will take my time to put my questions in numbers and hope by the end of this i’d have achieved my aim of knowing some things about you without really invading your privacy..So here it goes;

    1…What are your likes and dislikes in a relationship?

    2…Whats your greatest dream/or goal in life?Has it been achieved yet? What do you do for a living ?

    3…What have you done over the past month on the weekends?

    4…Are you ready for a serious relationship ?

    5…What do you remember most about your childhood?

    6…When was the last time someone lived with you and how did you know them?

    7…When was your last relationship?

    8…If we finally meet in person and then we go on a date and i finally agree to start a serious relationship with you how would you treat me?

    9…Have you ever hurt any woman before?

    10…What exactly do you want from me?

    11…What is your mode of transportation?

    12…Where did you go on your last trip?

    13…Describe you perfect day off.

    14…What is your favorite food?

    15…If I asked your best friend about you what would they the say they liked and what would they dislike?

    I hope to hear from you soon.

    Should I have told her about the hooker chained up in my basement?

  72. Drive cars/trucks/flatbeds round and round. Conditions at Chrysler PG are way more primitive than GMPG and I am way (63). Too. Old. For. This. Shit. But I was downsized *well* short of full retirement (late start, broken/temp. service first 5 years), so it is what it is.

  73. Alex, a girl that says, “cinemas” makes me nervous.

  74. I probably shouldn’t have answered #11 with “A rusty Ford Econoline with the windows illegally overtinted.”

  75. 10…What exactly do you want from me?

    ——

    Maybe that should be talked about in the privacy of your bedroom or wherever.

  76. Mare, It could just mean that she’s pretentious and artistic. Read, “slutty and willing to do anal.”

    Or that she’s foreign. I have a friend who lives in Spain and says “cinema”.

  77. 9…Have you ever hurt any woman before?

    ——

    Again, that is a question best left answered after you agree upon a safe word.

  78. Maybe that should be talked about in the privacy of your bedroom or wherever.

    I sent her a picture of a gimp suit and the caption “Your face here”.

  79. My greatest living goal in life is to peel an orange in one piece.

  80. hahahaha

  81. 12…Where did you go on your last trip?

    ——

    Not specific enough, ask her, “blue meth or acid?”

  82. 3…What have you done over the past month on the weekends?

    ——-

    Saying, “playing with myself” is probably, probably a nonstarter.

  83. 15…If I asked your best friend about you what would they the say they liked and what would they dislike?

    ———

    Might want to skip the story about the time you and your buddy were drunk, ended up in bed together and woke up spooning.

  84. 5…What do you remember most about your childhood?

    ——

    Do not say, “the French graphics I found in my dad’s closet.”

  85. Damn, should have said, “German porn.”

  86. And really, you should just say, “look, I’ll answer all of your questions once I determine whether or not you give a decent BJ, why waste time?”

  87. 1…What are your likes and dislikes in a relationship?

    2…Whats your greatest dream/or goal in life?Has it been achieved yet? What do you do for a living ?

    3…What have you done over the past month on the weekends?

    4…Are you ready for a serious relationship ?

    5…What do you remember most about your childhood?

    6…When was the last time someone lived with you and how did you know them?

    7…When was your last relationship?

    8…If we finally meet in person and then we go on a date and i finally agree to start a serious relationship with you how would you treat me?

    9…Have you ever hurt any woman before?

    10…What exactly do you want from me?

    11…What is your mode of transportation?

    12…Where did you go on your last trip?

    13…Describe you perfect day off.

    14…What is your favorite food?

    15…If I asked your best friend about you what would they the say they liked and what would they dislike?

    1) Absolute servitude. Dislikes, independent thought or time spent away from me.
    2) World Domination or a three-way with two supermodels. Still working on both.
    3) Your mom.
    4) Ask your mom.
    5) My father chasing me down the street on his motorcycle waving a cricket bat and shouting “waddle faster, fatty. It’s fatty season!”
    6) Does the hooker chained in my basement count?
    7) See number six. Or your mom.
    8) I would buy only the finest latex gimp suit.
    9) Yes, but they usually charge extra to let me do that.
    10) My two dollars.
    11) Unicorn. That or a Ford Econoline Van with the windows illegally tinted.
    12) Mexico and back with a two drug mules hiding in the trunk.
    13) Wake up, play with myself, go inside off the balcony. Drink.
    14) I love to eat your mom.
    15) Like: Helping bury that body in the desert. Dislike: Fucking their wife.

  88. I’m kicking ass on growng grass burrs this year. I’ll put some in a mason jar and mail it to you if you wish. Just let me know.

  89. As I’m reading her SAT questions, “artistic” isn’t the word that springs to mind. “Autistic”, maybe, and I don’t mean it as a pejorative. The set of questions as phrased make me think she’s either emotionally damaged or not neurotypical.

    i finally agree to start a serious relationship with you how

    Also, all of them assume a position of power on her part to dictate whether a relationship can occur. She’s asking a lot of questions but doesn’t actually want to learn anything about you, she wants to know what you are going to do for her.

  90. If those are the intro questions she is a woman who you will end up spending a lot of time accounting for your whereabouts.

    To me that list screams “Will examine your cell phone when you’re off taking a shit”.

  91. Alex, your proposed answers are the right ones. If she emails again after that, she’s worth talking to.

  92. Way too much effort and too far to go. Is there no local talent?

  93. I also have concluded that she’s nuts.

  94. I’m starting to suspect that mare’s not a woman. Her humor is very locker roomish. Either that or she’s been warped by hanging out here with us.

  95. Local talent? It’s a military town which puts me at a disadvantage. The single women all want a bearded crossfitter who climbs 14ers on the weekend. I’m a chubby geek who sword fights and dances tango. She’s the first decent response I’ve gotten in a year. At this point, I’m willing to risk a little crazy.

  96. Aso desu.
    Deliscious!

  97. I’m a chubby geek who sword fights and dances tango

    I wouldn’t lead with that.

  98. Lids popped down. I hurt myself a little, but it looks like I at least succeeded in pickling some peppers.

  99. A peck?

  100. “Im willing to risk a little crazy.”

    Nice knowing you, fake internet friend.

  101. A peck?

    Hardly. 3 pints.

  102. Anyone know the Boulder City / Henderson area of Vegas? I’m trying to find a decent hotel that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg and isn’t the Bates Motel.

  103. http://is.gd/z8wtOU

  104. Paulitics,

    I know a girl who has a spare bedroom in her basement. Totally legit, I swear!

  105. Amazingribs outed on AOS. They should come over here once in a while.

    Just got done with some of Meathead’s bratwurst. Good stuff!

  106. I gave my mom a slab of salmon cooked the meathead way, she said it was the best she ever had. She is 85.

    Fresh salmon fillets were on sale for $4 per lb so we got 40 lbs.

  107. It must be brined.

  108. Linky?

  109. Never mind.

  110. Wow, CoAlex – sounds like this gal has read one too many “Cosmopolitan” magazines; that quiz was probably lifted from one of their relationship articles….

  111. I found CoAlex’s eHarmony friend:

    youtu.be/koRr0O72neY

  112. Evening.

  113. It makes me sad that a good guy like Alex has to risk a date with needy girl because “the local talent” are dumbasses.

  114. Greetings, Labor Dayers and Day Laborers.

  115. I found CoAlex’s eHarmony friend:
    youtu.be/koRr0O72neY

    Overly Attached Girlfriend is cute.

  116. Colex, I think a good strategy would be to reply that you will answer her questions, but only if she agrees to answer a series of yours. Set a prearranged time where you will both email one another with your answers. As for the questions, I have a few suggestions:

    1. What’s your least favorite of the holes in your body? Do you dislike it enough to let me put things in it?

    2. Are you good at following directions? (i.e. Putting a bottle of lotion in a basket when prompted.)

    3. If I were to whisk you away to a foreign country for an impromptu getaway, in which one do you think you might have the most difficulty asking for help from the local authorities?

    4. What do you know about the Intergalagtic Reptilian Conspiracy?

    5. In how many of the world’s oceans have you pleasured yourself? In how many have you pleasured other people/Reptilians?

    You get the drift.

  117. Home from the family reunion. Neflings doing well. Sister only slightly nutty. Youngest brother didn’t show. Middle brother not happy that the hotel clerk thought he was my dad. (He’s 13 years older.) Dad and stepmom had a good time meeting the newest great-grandchild. There was an epic water balloon fight, and I don’t know whether to be proud or embarrassed at how Mini-me pwned her older cousin.

  118. Wow CoAlex, I’m not liking that girl. Bad juju. Self-centered. How dare she ask such ridiculous questions that appear to be copied and pasted? Ugh.

    Sorry.

  119. Because these Rampicante zucchini are all solid ‘neck’ and very little seed cavity, I took only one (it was about three feet long) and I spiralized three oven racks’ worth of zucchini noodles. I dried these in my oven on the warm setting with the door cracked open an inch. As they dried I kept tossing them and then eventually formed the noodles into twelve individual serving ‘nests’ before they got too hard to unentangle without shattering.

    It worked. As a test, I reconstituted one dried nest in boiling water and then sauteed it. That was part of my lunch today. It was decent. Here and there the noodles got accidentally a little toasted when they were drying, so I was worried that they would taste burned. But they just tasted toasty, which was actually a pretty nice flavor along with the garlic butter and mushrooms. Lo-carb al dente pasta! YAY! Scott vacuum-packed the rest for me in one of those sealer bags and threw it in the pasta cupboard.

    So that’s twelve noodle meals, a small container of dried zucchini chips, and a plate of big seedy slabs that are going to become the pasta layers in a veggie lasagna. From just one gourd.

    I think there’s several more of those gigantor zucch out there right now, and a few smaller ones. I’m kind of excited that this actually worked and that it’s an acceptable substitute.

  120. I know a girl who has a spare bedroom in her basement. Totally legit, I swear!

    Is she going to make me answer a lot of questions?

  121. I love Sean’s questions especially number 1.

    You must do this for all of us.

  122. Q #3 rocks.

  123. I appreciate Lauraw’s methods. I wish I had a wife who would make ingenious stuff with tasty outcomes.

  124. Home again. Jiggity.

  125. Holy crap Alex, that’s a desperate/ damaged/ self-centered bunny-boiler for sure. Maybe you’re backed up, but it’s not worth it.

  126. Make big bucks, Carin?

  127. Thanks, Mare. I need to build a solar dehydrator, I think. A big one. This is going to be a pain to keep doing in the oven.

  128. Hey, Paulitics. I saw you popped in and asked me a question or something the other day, but I had already wandered off at that point. How’s tricks?

  129. Roamy, proud. Definitely proud.

  130. I did ok.

  131. I went to an auction and got skunked.

  132. Getting married? Check auctions for engagement rings, they are 90% off.

  133. Holy crap Alex, that’s a desperate/ damaged/ self-centered bunny-boiler for sure. Maybe you’re backed up, but it’s not worth it.

    That’s what I meant, too.

    Listen, really, I don’t want our reactions to make you not want to share things like this in the future. I love that you did. We’re just alarmed for you cause we loves, you know?

    I mean, seriously, how dare she give you a questionnaire like that? What is she, Miss Freaking Universe? It just seems like she thinks that she’s so far above mere men and they have to audition in order to get a first date. How about having a date and talking about things?

  134. CoAlex should ask:

    1) After having a negative relationship experience with a chap, have you ever vandalized property? More specifically, HIS property? Like maybe his car. Or, um. Pets.

    2) Describe some dogs you have known. What would these dogs say they liked about you? Disliked about you? (this is a trick question to find out if she smells like dead rabbits)

    3) What are the contents of your freezer right now? (this lets us know if she plans ahead and eats meat. Also dead rabbits)

    No, but really, he should reply that he’s a nice guy and he shouldn’t have to write a big long essay to get a date with a nice girl. It’s just a date, for heaven’s sake. Let’s not be so intense. Keep it light and happy and if it happens, it happens. If not, then you still had a nice night out and met a different person.

    They’ll likely both know inside five minutes if it’s a possibility or not, anyway.

  135. What LD said.

  136. he should reply that he’s a nice guy and he shouldn’t have to write a big long essay to get a date with a nice girl. It’s just a date, for heaven’s sake. Let’s not be so intense. Keep it light and happy and if it happens, it happens. If not, then you still had a nice night out and met a different person.

    This.

  137. Sorry, Sean, I don’t remember what I asked, why I asked it, when I
    asked it. But good to say hi! Sorry I dropped off the face of the planet a few years back. Work, travel — lots of it — family stuff.

    How are you doing?

  138. A friend looked at it and suggested that she’s had an abusive boyfriend in the past. The questions are her attempt to screen out psycho and freeloaders and that she probably got the list of questions from her shrink.

  139. Understood about your location and its challenges, so I have a different suggestion — try a dating site that’s not so intensive in its, and its members, screening process. To Lauraw’s point, it’s just a date.

  140. Well, Lippy is correct, Alex, please don’t stop sharing because we act like we normally do. There is a collective bit of experience and wisdom here that knows what’s what.

    Again, as Lippy said, we care that you find a good person to be with. It’s not just goofing. It’s our way of saying DANGER, DANGER, DANGER.

  141. I wouldn’t give up on her.

    Laura’s sister is wonderful, but she was close to psycho at the end of her first marriage.

  142. Needy is not just a river in Egypt or something like that.

  143. Well said, Mare. Whatever it was.

  144. Scott is very sweet.

  145. 4. What do you know about the Intergalagtic Reptilian Conspiracy?
    ——–

    Somebody’s been poking around underneath Denver International Airport.

  146. Somebody’s been poking around underneath Denver International Airport.

    ——–

    Lol

  147. 8:15pm. Last night of 3-day weekend in which I literally had nothing at all to do. No projects. No BBQs. No in-laws. Nothing. To the point that I was actually getting bored. Wiserdaughter tells me “my shower drain is clogged up and the shower faucets are leaking. And have been for months.

    Ummmmmm…. yannow, that would have been a great bit of info to have on… oh…… Friday, let’s say….

  148. I’m pretty proud of my sister. Yes she was a psycho after her divorce. These things happen. Dated a few people but nothing seemed to go right for her.

    After a time and in a better mindframe, she reflected and realized that she had misjudged and wronged this one particular dude and called him up out of nowhere to apologize, years later.

    That took guts, you know?

    Anyway, they are now engaged.

  149. That’s really good to hear, Lauraw. Some women are compelled to make the same mistakes.

    ( I’ve never really thought if men are the same way.)

  150. Hopefully it’s just seats and springs.

  151. My sister had a “type” and finally married a really nice guy.

  152. >>>>
    Hopefully it’s just seats and springs.

    Pretty sure, since the fixture’s no more than 15 years old.

    Oh, speaking of not going to the in-laws this weekend for the first holiday weekend in years….

    Wiserdaughter drive my truck to in-laws on Thursday, spent the night, the drive in-laws to JFK in MiL’s car, leaving my truck at their house. She then drove MiL’s car here, so she would have it to pick them up from JFK in 3 weeks.

    I asked Wiserdaughter where she put my keys. “Oh, I left them in the truck at Grandma’s” (two hours away. And by keys, I mean house key, music store keys and radio station key. All of which I will need over the next 3

  153. Kids are scamps, Wiser. Uuuuffffff

  154. ….weeks.

    So guess who got to drive 4 hours, round-trip, to my in-laws today!

    Luckily it was a beautiful day and I took wiserbride’s convertible, so not a bad ride overall.

    But still…

  155. Now I’m obsessively watching TURN on Netflix the weird thing is I’ve already seen them all. D’OH.

  156. Wiser, that’s a win if you ask me. Good tunes I bet.

  157. >>>>Good tunes I bet.

    Oh yeah. I may complain to WD just to try to get her to start thinking more, but it actually wasn’t all that horrible of a way to spend the day.

    Plus, I got a great tan.

  158. All good!

  159. She felt so guilty, she left $20 for the gas on my desk

  160. Drove 200 miles to Laughlin yesterday. Got drunk. Drove 200 miles home today. Got stuck making dinner.

  161. I was truly not looking forward to the traffic, but I got none, anywhere.

  162. “Comment by Colorado Alex on September 7, 2015 2:52 pm

    Hello Alex,

    Thanks for your email ..I must confess i really like your straight forwardness in this email telling me how you feel and all..I think we really do have lots in common and i want you to know i will really love to meet you when i get back to Colorado Springs and hopefully see if we could get to see that spark that’ll shoot the friendship to the next level..I think we will have to start with a date and then see what goes on from there…With that being said,What is your idea of a perfect date?As for me i think i Night out on a Dinner will be great after then maybe we could go to the cinemas to watch a movie and then go home maybe to my place or your place since i live alone .I think you really know what you want in a woman and i do know what i want as well,so meeting each other face to face shouldn’t not be a bad idea..I really dont know what else to add right now,like i said before i am still new to this, but i guess we could really get to know more about each other if we put in some effort..Well i will take my time to put my questions in numbers and hope by the end of this i’d have achieved my aim of knowing some things about you without really invading your privacy..So here it goes;

    1…What are your likes and dislikes in a relationship?

    2…Whats your greatest dream/or goal in life?Has it been achieved yet? What do you do for a living ?

    3…What have you done over the past month on the weekends?

    4…Are you ready for a serious relationship ?

    5…What do you remember most about your childhood?

    6…When was the last time someone lived with you and how did you know them?

    7…When was your last relationship?

    8…If we finally meet in person and then we go on a date and i finally agree to start a serious relationship with you how would you treat me?

    9…Have you ever hurt any woman before?

    10…What exactly do you want from me?

    11…What is your mode of transportation?

    12…Where did you go on your last trip?

    13…Describe you perfect day off.

    14…What is your favorite food?

    15…If I asked your best friend about you what would they the say they liked and what would they dislike?

    I hope to hear from you soon.”

    Alex,
    When you finally meet this fine young lass I recommend dressing to impress –
    http://tinyurl.com/nl7ffma

  163. “she left $20 for the gas on my desk”

    1987 prices.

  164. tl;dr;

    wiser found $20

    Woopee

  165. If I asked your best friend what you did with that $20, what would they say?

  166. “she left $20 for the gas on my desk”

    $20 won’t fill my Lesbaru.
    Gas isn’t $0.25/Gal anymore…

  167. If I looked in your medicine cabinet, what would I find?

  168. Why does Mare take so many antibiotics?

  169. So guess who got to drive 4 hours, round-trip, to my in-laws today!

    Why did you have to make the drive?

  170. BTW, Sam’s Town is a great hotel/casino. It’s off the strip on Boulder Highway and is handy to Henderson.

  171. Sorry, Sean, I don’t remember what I asked, why I asked it, when I
    asked it. But good to say hi! Sorry I dropped off the face of the planet a few years back. Work, travel — lots of it — family stuff.

    How are you doing?

    Been doing good, man. I just celebrated four years sober, I have a job that I like, and I’m hot on the trail of conclusive evidence that most of the world’s leaders, celebrities, sports heroes, and news media figures are in fact Reptilians.

    You’ll see. You’ll all see.

  172. I’m hot on the trail of conclusive evidence that most of the world’s leaders, celebrities, sports heroes, and news media figures are in fact Reptilians.

    I embraced this fact years ago, under a slightly different theological interpretation.

  173. Who needs antifungals?

  174. *raises hand, looks around, quickly pretends to be high-fiving my reading lamp*

  175. Comment by scott on September 7, 2015 9:41 pm
    Why does Mare take so many antibiotics?

    Shut your whore mouth! Those are vitamins!

  176. >>>>Why did you have to make the drive?

    Because… well… I kinda wanted to. Seriously, 4 hours alone, cruising with the top down on an absolutely perfect day…

    Who wouldn’t?

    And $20 is actually more than enough to cover the gas.

    Win-win-win aaaaaaaand win

  177. $20 won’t fill my Lesbaru.

    How did Subarus get the rep as lesbian-mobiles?

  178. >>>>>How did Subarus get the rep as lesbian-mobiles?

    Lemme guess… You drive a Subaru

  179. No, Mr. RFH was looking at the Forester, and I said I wasn’t a lesbian, and he had no idea what I was talking about. (Not that unusual)

    I drive a Honda Accord.

  180. You just want to see more action at the next pillowfight. ;)

  181. Roamy,
    I don’t really know.
    It just became a meme that the wallet-chained, flannel-clad lesbians in the Seattle area all drove Outbacks or Foresters.
    I bought my ’94 Loyale wagon without knowing or caring, as I bought it for reliability.
    It’s still working.
    It is time for an oil & filter change, and I need to replace the lift-struts for the rear hatch. SOB keeps trying to kill me when I’m loading/unloading groceries…

  182. .Well i will take my time to put my questions in numbers and hope by the end of this i’d have achieved my aim of knowing some things about you without really invading your privacy..So here it goes;

    “Without really invading your privacy.” Mega snort.

    And why the hell does she need to know your “mode of transportation”?? To me that screams “I want to know how much money you make.”

    Also, she is not a native English speaker.

    And she’s not in your town right now. I denounce myself for saying this, (really) but I wonder if she will need funds in order to get there for your first date.

    Sorry, but I’m in a mood tonight.

  183. The fuck is a Hokie?

  184. It’s what you do before the Pokie.

  185. wiser, if you’re still around please go take a look at yesterday’s football poat. There’s a section that will appeal to you.

  186. Virginia Tech Dinner Buyers

    Virginia Tech Poetry Appreciators

    Virginia Tech Drink Spikers

    Virginia Tech Camaro Drivers

  187. I was in New Orleans for New Year’s Eve ’99-’00, and VT was playing in the sugar bowl. Literally none of their fans could explain what a Hokie was.

  188. We picked a bunch of ‘Maters the other day because it was going to rain, hard & long.
    There is about 12 square feet on the counter covered with tomaters that are now “ripe”.
    Tomorrow, we will be making sauce and caning it.
    Tomorrow is gonna suck…

  189. Lipstick,

    You’d be amazed at the number of profiles that include, “Must have car, job, and own place to live.” Apparently there are enough women willing to sleep with guys and provide everything that they need that those guys don’t feel embarrassed about it.

    Yeah, she claims to be in England at the moment for some work related function. If she tries to pull the “I need money to fly back home” then I’m saying “No.”

    And I wouldn’t be surprised if English is her second language.

  190. >>>>You just want to see more action at the next pillowfight. ;)

    Or, yannow, any….

    *cough

  191. My mother has a Forester. A couple weeks ago she roped me into going to see Brandi Carlile. The concert was a good one, but I had to point out as we were driving up, “Mom, I’m riding in a Subaru up to Red Rocks to go see a lesbian folk singer.”

    “It won’t be that bad! See, there are other guys here.” *points to four hipsters walking up the road.

    “Those are hipsters, mom. They don’t count.”

    “Damn it, you’re right.”

  192. Oh,
    As an aside, Anita & I have met CoAlex, visited with him, and fed him. He is not scary, a psychopath, or anything like that.
    Not that I would let my daughter go out with him, but he seems to be a nice young man.
    Just kidding about the daughter, Alex…

  193. Understood about your location and its challenges, so I have a different suggestion — try a dating site that’s not so intensive in its, and its members, screening process.

    eharmony, match, plentyoffish, and tinder. I run the gamut from “strict” to “I’ve given up all standards”. No luck.

  194. Never do eHarmony during one of those free weekend deals. Never.

  195. >>>wiser, if you’re still around please go take a look at yesterday’s football poat. There’s a section that will appeal to you.

    Did a quick scan. Not sure what yer reffering to.

    Link, please

  196. Did anybody simply stare at anybody else in wide-eyed disbelief upon finding out that The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again was also their favorite movie today?

  197. Did a quick scan. Not sure what yer reffering to.

    Link, please

    The poat itself. Not the comments.

  198. >>>>Never do eHarmony during one of those free weekend deals. Never.

    *takes notes

  199. I’m shocked that the tango dancing hasn’t yielded any good leads.

  200. >>>>The poat itself. Not the comments.

    Seriously?? The actual poat??? SERIOUSLY???!?!

    Nobody reads the fucking poats here!!!

    #smh

  201. >>>>>I’m shocked that the tango dancing hasn’t yielded any good leads.

    Okay, show of hands….

    Who thinks we need a “Leon’s musings” widget and also knows that, after this comment, it will never need to be updated ever again?

  202. Leon,

    Here in the springs the pickings are slim. It’s mostly old women and married couples. The only girl my age is a lesbian.

    Denver might be better, but it’s also an absolute pain in the ass to drive up to Denver. Seriously, on the weekends the highway is a mess and trying to get around Denver leaves me angry.

  203. Wiser, when I lived in El Paso, I met most of my dates at dances. It’s a shared interest, you get to spend time in close proximity, and it’s generally a cheap date that you both like.

  204. Okay, show of hands….

    Who thinks we need a “Leon’s musings” widget and also knows that, after this comment, it will never need to be updated ever again?

    *raises hand*

  205. See? It works, he’s just in a bad location. I knew a guy who took up swing dancing when it was getting big and had dates whenever he wanted.

  206. Swing dancing is still big, but it’s mostly college students. Ballroom has a mixture, but the younger crowd is often very serious about it. Tango tends to skew older and professional.

    Contra folks are just strange.

  207. Colex, if you want to take the time to answer her questions, that’s cool.

    I would advise that a blanket answer of “I would be happy to answer your questions about me, and ask a few of my own about you, over coffee at the time and place of your choosing.”

    I just don’t think you will be able to satisfy her inquiries over email, questions like that just lead to more questions, she seems to want to find a reason to cyber reject you.

    Also, line or square dancing might be a better vehicle in your locality?

  208. Already answered her questions and asked for her answers to them as well. I’m willing to play along a little longer. Right now there’s no harm to me.

    Square dancing or line dancing isn’t much better. Denver sucks all the oxygen out of the room when it comes to dancing. There are enough venues up there and it’s close enough that people would often rather drive up there than dance down here.

  209. Denver sucks all the oxygen out of the room when it comes to dancing.

    It’s probably the altitude.

  210. That’d be a pretty funny quip, Sean, but COS is even higher elevation.

  211. What do I look like, the National Geospatial Program of the U.S. Geological Survey?

  212. A little, if the light is dim.

  213. We do kind of have the same hairstyle.

  214. je

  215. Lights that flash in the evening,
    Through a derp in the drapes
    I’ll be home when I’m sleeping
    I can’t hardly wait


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