Weiner

209 Comments

  1. HA!

  2. flaunts html mad skillz

    Comment by Jewstin The Hammer on August 27, 2015 6:50 pm

    Glasses are sexy. Contacts suck.

    Agreed.

    *blinks

  3. Thorsday somewhere

  4. I’ll cocktail to that.

  5. When do we get the contact selfie?

  6. Pet Peeve: FB friends that mistake AZ for NM. At one point it was all the NM Territory. That was long ago …

  7. Heh. Cyn said “cock.”

  8. Soon :)

    I look pretty rough at the moment – impossible to wear any makeup and I am having to wear my hair back to keep it off my face while I get used to these suckers. I look… severe, and pained.

  9. https://youtu.be/fOntEd98qFE

  10. Wiserson is leaving for college tomorrow.

    Having him get me my martinis tonight.

    S’gonna be a tough weekend.

  11. Little fucktard returned with a glass of ice water with olives.

    Maybe not gonna be as tough as I thought

  12. Farewell and good wishes to Wiserson!

  13. Heh heh
    You’re prolly lucky the olives are real.

  14. Wiserson will be fine. Unless he can’t make a martini, in which case you should disown him.

  15. I’ll bet he makes a fine bartender at the frat house

  16. Wiserson needs an MJ tutorial on making refreshing beverages. I’d suggest Car in, but she hosted a hummingbird in her hand today. Not a euphemism

  17. Step 1: Everclear
    Step 2: Hawaiian Punch
    Step 3: Mix
    Step 4: Profit!!

  18. You people and your fancy contact lenses and martinis!

  19. Oh, he knows how to make them, just the way I like them.

    When he and his sister were young, they took great pleasure in putting olives in my beer when I asked them to bring me one.

    I told Wiserson that the reason I switched to vodka was because olives go well with vodka.

    I took one sip, paused, considered spitting the vile water at him, turned my head and spit it onto the garden, and told him to make me a real drink.

    *insert spit/swallow drink here

    Gonna miss the little punk, but maybe just a little less now.

  20. Children shouldn’t make drinks. It’s unseemly. And they use too much vermouth.

  21. We now have a liquor store as a sponsor.

    Surprised it took so long.

    HI, MCPO!!!!

    Did you see that Chris got the Texas Medal of Honor yesterday? Still destroys me that he’s gone.

  22. Heh. My vodka martinis have about as much vermouth as Car In’s breakfast has lard.

  23. >>>e now have a liquor store as a sponsor.

    Do they deliver? I’m asking for a friend.

  24. http://is.gd/remember_wiserson

    The Lord loves a working man.

  25. Probably not a good idea to piss off the guy paying the tuition

  26. Dicks of

  27. bag

  28. True Story: We were setting up my dad’s room for hospice. My dad: I don’t need anything or anybody. Just this lamp, this thermos, and this magazine. (Close enough. 6 years next month)

  29. MJ CAN YOU DO BOOBS ON THE 4TH?

  30. He’s married now so you have to speak louder so he can hear.

  31. Does anyone else remember the OMG Firestorm of Jim McMahon having his young daughter get him a beer during a NFL interview?

  32. No.

  33. 💩 I’m old. When I was a kid, I’d get a nickel a beer from my dad’s military guys that would watch football at our house.

  34. Dodging cigarettes to deliver beer was the true art

  35. http://is.gd/Oso_drink

  36. I’m avoiding end punctuation due to Sean. He linked something about punctuation and I want to limit my aggression to purely passive

  37. OSO ❤️ 🐶. Why is the ad “How to lift saggy skin?”

  38. So Mrs. Pupster gets really pissy when she forgets to take her estrogen pill. Last night she tried to argue with me about everything, and when I asked her if she forgot her pill she got angry, so I started just telling her “whatever you say…your the boss” and she got even angrier about that and said I was being mean. This morning I got a text after she checked her pill container “you were right, I forgot to take it, I’m sorry”.

  39. I can’t picture Mrs Pupster being pissy.

  40. I’ve got more chins than Sean’s telephone directory.

  41. She owes you a beer. And maybe something else.

  42. Damn right. Even Pupster Boy2 noticed it last night. He said “I just go to my room and shut the door, you don’t have your own room. That must suck.”

  43. I can’t picture Mrs Pupster being pissy.

    I know, right? It would be funny if it wasn’t so up close and personal.

  44. Cyn, Cards/Dbacks on TV. Phat isn’t around. Let’s beat up J’ames. Stuff him in a PBC

  45. MJ CAN YOU DO BOOBS ON THE 4TH?
    —————————-
    OF COURSE DICKBAG.

  46. If those are football teams, count me in, Osolocobear.

  47. Grrrr…I forgot that Cyn is Scott with ⚾️

  48. Did anybody tell anybody else that their idea for a gameshow where the contestants travel back i time to complete various challenges sounded intriguing but wasn’t feasible for some dumb reason or another today?

  49. I like the Cards. Carson Palmer, right? Phoenix?

  50. I would pay a mechanic for an opinion. That might not be a ton of miles for a diesel, but it could be for a transmission, especially one that towed a gooseneck trailer.

  51. Punches Jew in the Jimmy! Cards ARE always St Louis. AZ is blah blah blah. 🌵

  52. All the diesels up here were used hard to tow campers and boats and trailers with jetskis and snowmobiles and ice fishing cabins. I will be babying it by comparison.

  53. Roh ro, Pups. 6.0 = 6 point Oh No, I think that engine had issues.

  54. I’ll hit 200,000 miles in a couple months.

    That van cost a bunch of money, but if I calculate cost per mile it’s the 2nd best thing I ever did.

  55. I’m sick of being sick.

  56. You obviously aren’t drinking enough fluids.

  57. Define, “fluids”.

  58. Yeah, no low hanging fruit there, NOSIR!

  59. Tito’s.

  60. I’m sick of MCPO being sick

  61. Only one thing to do tonight, oso: http://is.gd/2nLPTE

  62. I wonder if pupster can speak minnesootin yet:

    http://fishingminnesota.com/forums/topic/58500-ven-two-minnesootins-meet-oop-nort-on-da-lake-fichen/

  63. Objection!!! Too soon for broom!

  64. Tmi went with the weather post at the HQ. (Cries)

  65. I hate how we’re basically the booty-call blog for some Ace commenters.

  66. Did anyone else learn the difference between foremilk and hindmilk today?

  67. Not just for commenting! He’s a COB. I remember when first baby was born!

  68. This is not a blog, really. This is a group of friends exploiting the blog format to do their chit-chatting. It is very hard for a new person to meld into, or even understand all the in-humor.

    Mothership is a blog-blog. Actual news reports, that sort of thing. You read the post, not necessarily the comments. The experience is not really always about the commenters, and it’s certainly not personal.

    This is rather the other way around.

  69. Chop chop. Portuguese word for “Blood”

  70. Are you suggesting that we don’t do topical commentary on the post of the day?

    Maybe we should make a wiki for n00bs.

  71. That doggone lauraw is a wordsmith.

  72. I think the ONT was always about the commenters. I’m glad for The Splitters.

  73. Me too. ONT always felt like Lizard people to me.

  74. That was my go-to place before You People™.

  75. Lizard Lounge or HQ?

  76. HQ’s ONT

  77. I was never a lizard

  78. Whew. Those people were weird.

  79. I heard they were but never went in. The ONT was a nice bunch of folks… except W1ck3d P1nt0.

    Ooof.

  80. He was here first. He is doing well. In RL. Not so cray.

  81. I only came after he was no longer here. He was the impetus for my leaving the HQ.

  82. No ragrets :)

  83. IKR (Trying to find H2 Anthem)

  84. Pat Benatar?

  85. Oof the flood of peeps to AoS after the first purge at LGF really changed the comments there. Hence the splitters. Why I’m here.

  86. Yep.

  87. I’m mostly a mess. Mostly. I finally got my eating disorder under control and BOOM diabetes. I was the A1C champion. Looked great for the most part. My endo and my Nutritionist are battling. Root for Nutro. Endos love meds.

  88. I got here after someone did live chats during the runup to ’08. Don’t even remember who hosted them, but there was heavy crossover at the time between there and here.

  89. I followed Ace’s “splitters” link one day, and here I am. Still like the ONT, but I rarely have time to comment.

  90. Shut it, CoAl. We had to read about your tatted blind date on a ONT.

  91. Beasn Mare and Car in

  92. Oso, I promise that the next awful blind date I go on, I’ll tell your all first. I also give you guys right of first refusal to any coyote ugly hookup stories.

  93. Mare, Beasn, Cyn and Car in know things

  94. I know everyone is probably tired of the Va. shooting, but did they ever find out how the shooter knew about the Smith Mountain Lake interview? Stalking the reporter?

  95. I’ve been out of the loop, Roamy; I’d be interested to learn that too. Makes you go “hmmmmm”.

  96. Did anyone else learn the difference between foremilk and hindmilk today?

    Nope. Known about that for about 20 years.

  97. And I know it’s pretty fucked up to be tired of a story after 37 hours, but what I’ve seen has been a bit much.

    Mississippi State had a shooter today, and I haven’t seen anything about it other than what some alumni and some panicky parents posted on FB.

  98. 9-11 happened and I took to the innertubes for news. I found the mother ship and devoured it. Comments and all. Eventually I clicked on the links provided in each persons name. All the funny people were hostages. That is why I am here.

  99. I found AoS from the Crush Kerry blog. Followed XBrad over here.

  100. Because reporters don’t care about other people being shot Roamy, they only care about reporters being shot.
    At least it is not all Trump all the time. I am tired of Trump.

  101. Followed a link from another blog to AoS. No time to red all the comments there. Followed a link from there to this blog/chatroom/den of iniquity. Saw the Animosity International ad, read a few comments and thought “Hmmm, these are my kind of people”

  102. Followed XBrad over here.

    There’s an inflatable joke here somewhere but damned if my uncreative ass can come up with it.

  103. OK, tell me, what’s the difference between foremilk and hindmilk?

  104. I lurked here for a long time cause I knew I wasn’t funny enough to join in. One day Dave and some of them were talking about rock and roll guitar players and I couldn’t resist. Turned out I was right….I’m not funny enough to hang out here. But y’all do a good job of tolerating the special needs kids.

  105. OK, tell me, what’s the difference between foremilk and hindmilk?

    I looked it up brad and it has to do with God’s intended function for titties. As opposed to our perspective that they’re simply fun toys to play with. That’s why you and I didn’t know anything about it.

  106. Foremilk is what comes out first, higher in lactose and lower in fat than what comes out after it (hindmilk). The baby needs both kinds, and if you’re switching breasts too often, it will only get foremilk, or get too little hindmilk. This can actually overwhelm the baby’s capacity to make lactase and thus cause gas and other abdominal distress.

  107. Jesus on a pogo stick, I have zero interest in how you assholes all came to be here. I’m still just waiting for you losers to leave so I can be alone with Cyn.

    Wait…is that why we’re all here…?

  108. I think it was Jonah that linked to the True Facts About Dick Cheney that lead me to AoS.

  109. *smiles and taps PG on the shoulder, gives him a cookie and puts on his Big Boy Helmet*

  110. *primps flannel nightie*

    https://youtu.be/BKPoHgKcqag

  111. AWK-WARD

  112. Is flannel even legal in AZ? It can’t be a good idea.

  113. OT: Leon, if Lil’ Possum keeps having digestive issues, you guys might want to look into “specialty” formula – as much as I wanted to breastfeed the TiFW daughters, something I was eating was upsetting their tummies.

    We put them on Nutramigen and never looked back – we saw a change in less than 24 hours.

    Some babies’ tum-tums have a hard time digesting the proteins in both breast milk and standard formula.

    Feel free to PM me (or call me) if you want to know more –

  114. Back in 2004, a friend of mine was complaining horse shine site in the internet has made fun of the Dem candidates by giving them D&D characters, but didn’t think Jackson-Lee was a serious candidate. I kept quiet that I agreed, and forgot to look up the site. Fast forward to 2008, and I finally stumble across the HQ.

  115. >>>AWK-WARD

    Well yheah, when we’ve both chosen the same one to wear for each other!

  116. Pretty sure it’s excess foremilk. On days my wife has pumped prior to feeding there’s been much less gas/happier baby.

  117. A woman in flannel pj bottoms and a wife-beater t-shirt is actually pretty sexy.

  118. I miss Mrs. Kucinich. I wonder if she’s still a MILFy hippy chick or has transitioned to crazy cat lady looks.

  119. A woman in flannel pj bottoms and a wife-beater t-shirt is actually pretty sexy.

    No disagreement, but I won’t even use flannel sheets until it’s 0F.

  120. Flannel is hot.

  121. Ok, goodnight schmoopies. Today was my last day of freedom until mid-December. Sayonara, Summer!

  122. Good luck, Laura.

  123. G’night Lauraw – you’re gonna do great!

  124. Look, I’ve got to be honest I don’t know WTF Leon send but I hope it’s good.

  125. Said …. Not send ….. Oh wtf forget it.

  126. I shouldn’t be awake. Too much hindblog.

  127. Wait…is that why we’re all here…?

    Ayup.

  128. Now I derp with different faces
    In rented rooms and foreign places
    All the people I was kissing
    Some are here and some are missing

  129. Up at the crack of derp.

    http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/csw/cto/5169329411.html

  130. http://thelibertyzone.com/2015/08/27/what-your-reaction-to-my-nra-sticker-says-about-you/

    Good read. I marvel at the hypocrisy of people who shout that gun control will save lives, but a million abortions a year is hunky-dory and should be paid for with my tax dollars (and a right, though which one is spelled out in the Constitution again? Penumbras and emanations.)

  131. Boobs will be of the early afternoon variety.

  132. Foremilk is 2%. Hindmilk is cream.

    Wakey wakey.

  133. MJ IS A SLACKER.

  134. Good link Roamy.

  135. *twiddles thumbs

  136. How Laura met Scott

    http://tinyurl.com/pzq3k5g

  137. I think I’m firmly now in the camp that Leon should find a new job where he can work from home.

    This has NOTHING to do with the fact that I’m left to talk to myself here at the H2 in the mornings.

  138. Morning.

  139. I think I’m firmly now in the camp that Leon should find a new job where he can work from home.

    We are of one mind. I think my new potential boss is in Detroit next week, and we’ll talk then. He and I. Not me and you.

  140. You want me to sit-in on that meeting?

    *clears schedule

  141. You know … just to make sure he understand MY position?

  142. Cordy might be there to make her position known. I suspect she has the stronger case to make.

  143. FINE.

    *refills schedule

  144. This has NOTHING to do with the fact that I’m left to talk to myself here at the H2 in the mornings.

    *stomps out of blog

    *slams door

    *comes back in, slams again (effective use of drama effect)

  145. Don’t start J’ames. I’m in a mood.

  146. Meeting in an hour. Getting nervous.

    (with school regarding Erin going to “real” school)

  147. But thanks everyone. For being “here” for me when I’m anxious.

    Thanks. A. Lot.

  148. This is bull crap.

  149. That’s what I’ve been saying Hotspur.

  150. Did you forget your pill?

  151. One of my carpenters’ 86 year old father committed suicide this morning.

  152. Car in, you’ll kick ass at the meeting.

    Cable guy is supposed to show up this morning and fix my internet connection. We’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile,I get to rewrite my annual goals to fit what I’ve actually done this year. I just found out that all promotions are halted until the new contract gets approved next year. Feh.

  153. I’m still not completely familiar with the educational arrangement of Thu O’Brian household… Is Erin home schooled?

  154. Yes. I homeschooled all my kids until high school – and then they wanted to go – so …

    But last year they changed up the school and 9th grade was in the middle school. Thus – I decided to keep her at home another year – because it was a huge clusterfuck.

  155. I’ll only have one home with me this year if Erin goes to school.

    I’ll really be able to concentrate on him and him alone. Poor kid.

  156. You’d think by now the older kids could take care of the younger ones. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work?

  157. Thus – I decided to keep her at home another year – because it was a huge clusterfuck.

    Plus, that whole mother hen and keeping under your wing, right?

  158. Once the kids are in school, Car in will finally get that keno drawer squared away.

  159. Meeting went fine haters.

  160. They didn’t look at you and scream, “Dear God, woman, how many do you have?!”

  161. No, I think more like, “Dear God, not another one.”

  162. You wore a low cut top, didn’t you?

  163. School systems LOVE me. More $$. They see dollar signs for every butt they get into a seat.

  164. You wore a low cut top, didn’t you?

    Wouldn’t matter.

    *runs

  165. That was needlessly hurtful.

  166. *substitutes hindmilk for J’Ames’ regular half and half

    (Turns to camera)

    “Let’s see if he notices”

  167. I’m reading Gettysburg by Stephen Sears. Good book, I’m right at the part where the Confederate artillery barrage begins prior to the so called Pickett’s Charge. Exciting stuff.

  168. I already know how it ends.

  169. Jesus dies.

  170. WHAT ABOUT THE DOG?

  171. Always felt bad they call it Pickett’s charge, when it wasn’t his idea.

  172. The dog isn’t in this one. You’re thinking of Shaving Ryan’s Privates.

  173. I will admit, that the decision to use the Ewoks annoyed me. I mean, couldn’t they have written the script so the Union won without them?

  174. Yeah, the book points that out. It was news to me hence my use of so called. I read about 20th Maine under Chamberlain in a book, I think by Shaara called Killer Angels. Or it might be called something else… Either way, it is fascinating to read about military history for me.

  175. Just kidding, Jimbro. It’s a fascinating battle.

  176. “Stand Firm Ye Boys of Maine” by Desjardins was the book I read.

  177. Move-in day.

    COLLEGE GIRLS EVERYWHERE!!11!1!1!1

  178. Everytime I hear the name Joshua Chamberlain it makes me picture Jeff Daniels, whose dad was a helluva guy, but he is a dick.

  179. Still no bewbs?

    $150 to kill the wasps in the attic. At that price England wouldn’t have stayed protestant very long.

    Too soon?

  180. I’m stuck at work.

  181. Leon, email me the name of the company. I asked Orkin for a price to spray the yellow jackets in my back gutter, and they quoted $250, so I called a small local company, and they quoted $350.

    I’d spend $150 to have someone else do it, since I would have to do it from an extension ladder.

  182. You guys just need a Guinea hen.

  183. This shit is out of control. When I left for college, my parents said goodbye and off I drove to school.

    This is a ridiculous “event!” We’re now waiting for the “Grand Entrance Parade of Students As They Enter Through The Main Gate ForThw Very First Time” parade. And every single parent is jockeying for the best position from which to record the procession.

    So fucking silly.

  184. Cheerleaders lined up on both sides to applaud and cheer them on as they enter.

  185. It’s bull crap. Same here in Ann Arbor.

    But then again, what are you doing there?

  186. Are they passing out participation ribbons for showing up at college?

    … special little snowflakes …

  187. No ladder needed for my job, Hotspur, and they’re in Belleville. I’ll get you the name though.

  188. My parents just told me not to come home drunk

  189. Our town has a “parade” for the high school graduates. @@. I’m probably the grumpiest person in town because I think it’s just silly. I understand the kids wanting to do it – in a party-like atmosphere. BUt I’ve refused to stand on the sidelines with a sign declaring “YEA JR FOR COMPLETING THE EASIEST PART OF YOUR LIFE.”

    It’s called “Swing out.” I’ve managed to skip two of these events so far and I plan on continuing to skip them. I only celebrate real accomplishments .

  190. >>>>But then again, what are you doing there?

    Have no choice.

    My favorite people are the parents who are standing right in the middle of the walkway to get that special picture of their special spawn, forcing the procession to walk around them.

    FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, PEOPLE, THIS IS COLLEGE, NOT SOME GODDAMNED KINDERGARTEN BULLSHIT!!!

  191. Hahahaha

    I forgot about Swing Out. We had that when I graduated.

    My buddy and I got a 12 pack, sat on the beach, and talked about how in about a month we’d be shipping out to boot camp.

  192. is it safe to come back yet?

  193. I was just pulling your chain, Wiser. You of all people wouldn’t buy into that stupidity.

  194. Define “safe”.

  195. I went to my graduation. That’s all I bothered with. I had a job and no time for that other crap. Attended my college graduation in the audience with my fiancee’s parents. I did no sort of parade on my way in, but my school had thousands of incoming freshmen, such a thing wouldn’t be possible.

  196. Actually, my favorite part so far was the director of student services pointing out the ladies room that they are planning to convert to the gender-neutral restroom.

    After telling son that while currently likes girls (after our mentioning his girlfriend), “college is a time for experimenting and taking chances.”

    No, I did not punch his fucking lights out. But the thought did cross my mind.

  197. Just called them, Leon. They’re going to be in Ann Arbor Monday, and will do me in the afternoon.

  198. They’re going to be in Ann Arbor Monday, and will do me in the afternoon.

    Worst euphemism ever.

  199. Man, I keep thinking Monday is Labor Day. Either way, glad they’ll be available.

  200. college is a time for experimenting and taking chances

    Yes, that’s exactly how Newton, Einstein, and Von Neumann spent their time in college.

    Oh wait, no they fucking didn’t.

  201. and will do me in the afternoon.
    —–
    pulled a muscle in my back stooping for that low hanging fruit.

  202. Using AR-style rifles for hog hunting is so popular that Remington has developed a purpose-specific round bearing the wonderful name “Hog Hammer.”

    Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/corner

    I am so going to sue.

  203. I went to college alone with everything I needed sitting in the passenger seat of my F150. Except for my checkbook which was in the glove box. I exited 5 years later needing to borrow my dad’s horse trailer due to being married and inheriting a bunch of her shit.

    When I moved both daughters into the dorms their freshman years, there were people there with Penske trucks just to move their daughters into the dorm. Hell, the dorm room would’ve fit inside the Penske truck. Not sure what all they were hauling.

  204. We took two cars, mainly because he’s keeping his on campus, but also because his tuba took up pretty much all of the space in his car.

  205. Didn’t go to High School or college graduation.

  206. I always thought part of graduating to adulthood was needing to rent a truck to move shit. You were an adult when you could no longer move everything in your shitty Ford Taurus.

    It’s called “Swing out.” I’ve managed to skip two of these events so far and I plan on continuing to skip them. I only celebrate real accomplishments .

    There are so many “swinger” jokes that could be made here.

    College is a fucking resort nowadays. Personally, I’d offer a school that only offered student housing in open-bay barracks. Want to live somewhere nicer? Find a fucking apartment off-campus. Here you get a bed and a locker for your shit. The “fitness center” would be a dirt track around campus and a prefab warehouse with weight racks. Dining halls would serve meals only twice a day (buy breakfast with your own money). Also, after your freshman year you have to find somewhere else to live.

  207. New post.


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