Waffle Stomp–Presented Without Comment

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144 Comments

  1. Fritz,!

  2. **poops in MJ’s shower**

  3. Can we go back to talking about hats?

  4. This is the worst post in the history of the internet. I’m totally grossed out.

  5. WTF do you poop in the shower, MJ? Pull-ups get too moist?

  6. I’ve grown used to gross things but pooping in the shower is’t on of them.

  7. Presented w/o comment:

    http://www.wellness.com/find/psychiatrist

  8. Oh like you’ve never.

  9. MN is nice, jerb is good, dog is a maniac, send money.

  10. Have you acquired the accent yet, Pups?

  11. http://tinyurl.com/ovduxpm

  12. People with hair do not understand the pain of a scalpular sunburn.

    Word. I am not a hat person, but baldness drove me to it.

    And pooping in the shower is only acceptable if you aren’t ambulatory. Or you thought it was a fart and you discovered too late that you had the diarrhea.

  13. Chopped down another dozen saplings, axed down one tree, made a bonfire pile 10′ wide and 8′ high with all the chopped crap. I’ll probably burn it at the end of October. Next spring it’s a melon patch. Next summer I make wine, next autumn I make melon brandy*.

    *allegedly

  14. Wood alcohol

    “Get drunk, get blind!”

  15. I experience modernity and despair.

    Kid: Can I talk to the guy in the tuxedo?

    Me: Big guy? Looks Mormon?

    Kid: Yeah. He works on bikes right?

    Me: yeah. That’s just a tie. No tuxedo.

    Kid: . . . He trade much?

  16. 💩🚿 is disgusting.

  17. I experience modernity and despair.

    A new Dark Age is imminent.

  18. http://despair.com/

  19. Pups is back!!!! SQUEEEE!

  20. I can survive an apocalypse. Swirling the drain makes my teeth Itch. Can we end it now?

  21. Honestly, the waiting is killing me too. It’s coming, it’s obvious, but what form will it take and when will it happen?

  22. Remember Summer of the Shark and Chandra Levy? This Summer feels like that Summer. Muzzies love “Anniversaries”. I’m Praying that 9/11 doesn’t go sideways this year.

  23. Has Wiserbud updated Softball with Wiserson?

  24. Cops were all over Charlotte last night because a white cop had his manslaughter charge declared a mistrial.

    Shits going to get real this fall.

  25. Charlotte can burn along with the rest. Fuck the world.

  26. Apropos of nothing, I vaguely remember Buddy Hackett saying “Bob Newhart is such a gentleman, he gets out of the shower to piss”. I didn’t get it at the time. I could search and see if it is a real memory or something I just made up, but …LAZY.

  27. We have 2 cops going on trial for killing a mentally ill hobo. Family already won $million in wrongful death civil suit.

  28. Trim done in the living room. Whew.

  29. Thanks, XB. I think you may have just shown how Rainman random my memory can be.

  30. Wait a second. I piss in the shower.

    *Turns in Gentleman’s Card.

  31. Haha Jew! I would get out of the pool to pee. See also lake, ocean, and river. ( I used to actually lake-, ocean-, and river-swim.) I wasn’t totes cray-cray pre-1980. Ocean swim ended in 1976. River swim in 1978. Lake in 1982. Pool is still on pool by pool basis.

  32. Hah! Oso, now I’m curious. How many Hostages will admit to peeing in the shower?

  33. I pee in the shower. I’ll admit it.

  34. Bob Newhart is NOT a hostage!

  35. You can’t prove anything.

  36. TMI Dan gets mad if I fart in the shower.

  37. I won’t close my eyes in the shower. I watched Psycho at an early age. I am convinced some lunatic will come ripping in with a knife when I’m not looking.

  38. Jew, shower door not shower curtain. Eee eee eee

  39. Greetings, people who know to make poopy in the potty.

  40. We went with dual shower instead of small garden tub. Dan was too tall for garden tub. Builder thought we made a mistake. 18 years later, still chill with shower. TMI. I grew up with “Navy Showers”. Tits, Pits, and Ass. 5 minutes. Dan can’t shower in under 15 minutes on best of times. When we are getting ready together, he gets distracted. 25 years of Dan pissing me off in the shower. Pissing/Getting whatevs

  41. ~waves at Sean~

  42. I can shower in 2 minutes. But I prefer 27 minutes. I can spend forever in the shower.

  43. Jewstin with the shower TMI that isn’t about pissing. 😉

  44. Showering is a scam.

  45. It’s like Clue!. In the shower, with the Alpine Mint! It was you what done it!

  46. My life in August is all Fantasy Football ALL THE TIME. I have to pretend to care for the next few weeks. D is getting ready to do practice drafts. I’m all in for MLB

  47. Hahaha we did the Clue comments before. Cyn in the Study with a hard contact

  48. Sean in Driving Range with a Wedge.

  49. Wiser in Studio with Microphone.

  50. Xbrad n the Pool with the Inflatable Rubber Sheep?

  51. Car in bar with Keno slip

  52. Scott with Box Cutter in Diningroom/cum shipping zone

  53. MJ in the Terrarium with the garrot?

  54. Car in at 4 top with a steak knife

  55. Jew at Pig Farm with Red Chile. Mmmm…chicharones

  56. Habanero marinade.

  57. lauraw in the Municipal Reservoir with the hump toxin

  58. Soy marinade. Soy marinade.

  59. Oso in el pueblo with the Punch Buggy.

  60. You’re marinade?

  61. Punch Buggy? SLUG BUG!!!!

  62. Sean, for song and comment purposes…Si!

  63. We’re getting haze from WA fires. WTF? Haze=Bad. EPA release into Animas=GOOD

  64. Comment faster. Familia issue developing

  65. I think we’re all busy making popcorn. Sorry.

  66. I’ve heard of former Planned Parenthood workers converting to pro-life advocates but never the reverse.

  67. ESPNU is replaying all of OSU’s football games from last years National Championship Season. I’m a little homesick.

  68. Life in the Duke City: Dan and I are debating his Throw-back Pirates cap. The gold seems less gold than the current cap. Dan is too tight to fly to Pittsburgh and valisare the witnesses run throeh

  69. Vmax in the courtyard with a motorcycle.

  70. *raises hand*

    You pee first and then soap up. Body and showers gets clean together.

  71. Hacks ESPNU with Lilo & Stitch

  72. Chumpo in the desert with a bus.

  73. Roamy in the International Space Station with an experimental material.

  74. Vmax on a motorcycle reminded me of “Two Lane”.

  75. Chumpo at the Fish Market with FIRE

  76. XB in Palm Desert with FIRE

  77. Andy in Boston with a Smoker

  78. Scott in CT with an Egg

  79. CoAlex at Renfaire with a pike

  80. Pirates get 3 runs given to them, grr.

  81. Pepe in the desert with a PBC

  82. My Aunt Becky is in town. Lots of family drama. Phone dying. Getting ready to go off-line.

  83. You have to pee on your feet to get rid of athlete’s foot.

  84. Uh oh, oso has to actually talk to people now.

    *readies bunker.

  85. I have to euthanize piggies as part of my job. It’s a necessity. It hurts every time.

    I can’t imagine how the monsters at Planned Parenthood look themselves in the face every morning.

  86. Hugs Jew. He gets it. Life is life. Some life is future bacon.

  87. I was told urine was good for jellyfish stings too. LIES

  88. I’ve been waitin’ all day for Sunday Night.

  89. Yep.

  90. Rosetta in Ferguson with a tutu

  91. Jewstin, yes.

  92. They look at themselves with a clear conscience because they have convinced themselves it’s just a clump of cells. Kinda like a booger. It’s impossible to argue something like that.

  93. Pulled up 4 more zucchini plants today to make room for lettuce.

    Soon.

  94. Is Bcock around? He should share this with the daughters:

    https://youtu.be/so49WpSj9bo

  95. They look at themselves with a clear conscience because they have convinced themselves it’s just a clump of cells. Kinda like a booger. It’s impossible to argue something like that.

    I gotta figure out a way to monetize boogers.

  96. I gotta figure out a way to monetize boogers.

    Gives new meaning to “Digging for gold” :)

  97. Bob’s Happy John found a way to monetize human urine and excrement, so boogers ought to be easy by comparison.

  98. You can’t make money on boogers. Only charge shipping and handling.

  99. S & H is where the money’s actually at. That’s why when you order boogers, they’ll throw in a second order of boogers free–“just pay processing and handling!”

  100. Wheels are coming off the Pirate bus.

  101. WTH code are you talking, Jay?

  102. He’s talking about some kind of gay mass transit, I would guess.

  103. What happens on the Pirate Bus stays on the Pirate Bus. I heard.

  104. Only a few get the baseball lingo.

  105. Arrrrrrr. “Pitchers” and “catchers.”

  106. “lingo”

  107. “on deck”

  108. I read the fedora thread last night but was on the road and only had a phone to surf the tittyweb with. And I dislike poating by phone, so here’s my $0.02 on fedoras. I developed this theory in Cancun last summer where I noticed that fedoras on tourists were ubiquitous and I’m pretty sure it’s legit.

    Any woman between the age of 15 and 45 who wears a fedora is signaling that she’d like to have three penises inside her simultaneously. The larger the better. Any man between the age of 15 and 45 is signaling the same.

  109. “ball boy”

  110. poppin one up
    ballz
    stretchin’ for it
    the inexperienced one just balked
    he’s on the warning track

  111. Any woman between the age of 15 and 45 who wears a fedora is signaling that she’d like to have three penises inside her simultaneously. The larger the better. Any man between the age of 15 and 45 is signaling the same.

    Fact.

    Wait, what’s my panama hat mean?

  112. The Rams are gonna suck this year.

  113. PG knows a lot about penis.

  114. Wait, what’s my panama hat mean?

    It means you want David Lee Roth inside you.

  115. Internet won’t connect at my new place, so I’m stuck using my phone.

    I can buy the fedora theory as it relates to women, but not men.

  116. Like, spiritually? Because I’m sort of full in that regard.

    Physically? Ewwww.

    Lil Possum has been colicky for the last few hours. We’re hoping it’s just a gas bubble she can’t burp out.

  117. The new place.

  118. Have you accepted David Lee Roth as your personal savior?

    Myself? I’m a member of the First Church of the Eternal Nuge.

  119. Have you accepted David Lee Roth as your personal savior?

    Heck no, sounds too close to Protestantism.

  120. Did anybody introduce anybody else to someone they had always assumed was their imaginary friend today?

  121. “And David wandered in the desert for forty days, and then came out into the land of Tijuana. There he feasted on tequila and chimichangas. And many came from the surrounding villages, and from as far away as the great city of Los Angeles, and the holy city of Las Vegas. They came to sit at his feet, listen to his words, smoke some dope and flash their tits. And the Lord saw this, and it was good.”

  122. Are you renting this, Alex? Place looks nice.

  123. Nice place CoAl,
    My theory is men that wear hats for fashion are usually gay, and that is okay. Men that wear hats outside for work, shade etc are not gay, as the needs drive the selection. Base ball caps are an exception to the rule.
    I saw a guy wearing 5 baseball caps at the same time with the bills slightly askew. I have no idea what he was saying.

  124. “I sell drugs”

  125. Cyn, yes it’s a rental.

  126. I saw a guy wearing 5 baseball caps at the same time with the bills slightly askew. I have no idea what he was saying.

    “Only 495 more and my Bartholomew Cubbins costume is complete!”

  127. I’d never carry a pike to the renfaire. An arming sword and a buckler are far more practical.

    “David stood upon the mountain, and the devil showed him the world. In the east,a woman rose out of the sun. Her hair was black and greasy, her small black eyes blazed with fire. Her naked body was bloated and rancid. In her hands she held a screaming child, the destruction of the world, and she cried out to the heavens, “The paternity test came back, you jackass! I’ll see you in court!”. And David cried out, ‘heavenly father, how much did I have to drink that night?!'”

  128. I am sorry Sean, I am inclined to favor Leon’s drug theory,
    However Dr Seuss is a strong second

  129. Supper tonight was elk steak in horseradish sauce followed by y a desert of yellow cake with a cinnamon peach topping. Now it is time for bed.

  130. Why would you eat a desert? And what desert has cake in it?

  131. Dinner tonight was a couple of slices of leftover digiorno pizza.

    And your mom.

  132. Our desert has cake.

  133. Shouldn’t you be working on MMM?

  134. I hope Lil Possum feels better and it isn’t colick but gas

  135. I did MMM hours ago, right after your mom.

    She’s feeling better, but there were several cycles of burping while she made sure Momma didn’t burn herself eating warm food. She’s really very considerate.

  136. Once we’ve established CoAl at a renfaire, does the weapon really matter?

  137. Thanks, Leon. We worry

  138. Our desert has cake.

    The cake is a mirage.

  139. Dammit! I knew I shoulda made that left toin at Albuquerque.

  140. Dammit! I still sitting here in Albuquerque waiting to stalk Cyn.

  141. It’s alright if you derp me,
    It’s alright if you don’t
    I’m not afraid of you runnin’ away honey,
    I’ve got this feeling you won’t

  142. Petty.


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