Saturday Stoopid

Pit Barrel Cooker Outsider

Why cats gag near cheese


  1. art is anal cheese – HA!

  2. “Pit Barrel Cooker Outsider”

    it’s like being the only black guy on the Star Trek original series away team…




  6. Good morning.

    Coffee, then gym. Gotta check the forecast to know what comes after that.

  7. If I’m going to mow, looks like I have to be done by 1. Hmm.

  8. Artisanal cheese gagkitty is making me lolcat my pants.

  9. I hope you have a clean pair to put on.

  10. Back to Squash Talk (‘Squash Talk’ is gonna be a segment on Wiser’s show someday, he told me he’d get back to me asap with the greenlight):

    That Rampicante zucchini makes a great privacy screen, too. Right now it has engulfed a 6×8 section of chain link fence, and it’s rounding the corner to take over the other side of the garden. I’ve been cutting big side shoots off of it to prevent it from taking the garden gate. If the fence were twice as tall it would already be covered. And there’s only three plants there.

  11. What can I plant in my pond to out-compete the false cattails? I’ve been tossing the romas that look nibbled on into the center of their mass hoping for the future.

  12. Happy birthday, J’ames.

  13. Roma tomatoes? Into a pond?

  14. They’d been nibbled. It’s close by.

  15. *calls police*

  16. Happy Birthday! J’Ames.


  18. HB, J.

  19. You have to put the tomatoes in a pillowcase with some heavy rocks and tie it off before you throw it into the lake.

    Just like getting rid of artisanal cheese

  20. “Oso, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ordered the Marines to evacuate Gitmo and just let the Cubans come in and take it.”

    Of course they’d have to leave their weapons behind.

  21. wakey wakey

  22. fake double today. I may get out early if it’s slow (as it often is in the summer). Lots of events to draw folks away – the Woodward dream cruise and then “back to the Bricks” in flint.

    It may be a very long slow day.

  23. Oh and Keno/cash drawer drama continues. My Keno drawer was … $450 short yesterday and my cash drawer $200.

    Someone has a gambling problem. And it’s not me.

  24. ‘Squash Talk’ w/ lauraw™:

    my yellow squash are booming – i’m dropping them off at random houses around the neighborhood now…


  25. Holy crap.

  26. $650 in the hole – wow

    who pays for that?

  27. If she just plays a bit more I’m sure she’ll make it back. @@

  28. hbd Jay & Lippy!

  29. She does. As she should have paid for the times my keno drawer was off but I wasn’t wise enough back then.

  30. Happy b-irfday J’ames! Go celebrate by putting in some flooring!

  31. Are you getting the blame again or do they know for sure that it is this other person, Carin?

  32. Happy Birthday J’Ames!

  33. James do something you’ve never done today…make it kick ass!

  34. Wait, It’s Jay and lippy’s birthday too??


  35. Oh she’s paying. We’re all onto her.

  36. Someone won $150 in Keno yesterday and my drawer (which is supposed to start with $600) had about $70 in it. Uh … Huston … we have a problem.

  37. Happy birthday, Lippy!

  38. I don’t get it, does she think no one will notice? Or that they won’t suspect her?

  39. Happy Birfday J’Ames. I got you this:

    And for you Lipstick, this:

  40. She’s the “GM” so I don’t know how she deals with it regarding the owners.

  41. The owners are probably trying to figure out why they aren’t making money.


  43. She probably replaces the keno money with cash sales that aren’t reported.

  44. Keno is a scam. On average, if I remember this right, it takes about $200 to win $100. Just throw half of your money away, it’s the same thing.

  45. Oh Keno is a scam of course. I doubt the odds are even that good. I’ve seen people through away $600 to win $100.

  46. We have Mexican Coke!

  47. As a naturally adventurous person, I tried a new barber today. Regret is a hell of a drug.

    *lifts kilt*

  48. Happy Birthday Jay and Lips!

  49. We have Mexican Coke!

    Best euphemism evar.

  50. Happy Birfday, J’ames.

    If Lippy shows up, I’ll wish her a happy b’day also.

  51. Is it too soon to talk about the upcoming winter? Yes? Well, as MJ often says: eat a bag of artisanal cheese. I just read a big El Niño is forming which will keep the polar vortex from dipping down from Canada. This would be welcome news if it were to happen. We went through a lot of firewood to keep the chill out of our home on top of the oil we burned not to mention the absolute pain in the ass getting around in snow happens to be.

    I now return you to your regularly scheduled Squash Talk program. Up next: the under appreciated Middle East squash called cousa.

  52. I’m roasting zucchini and yellow squash for a church potluck today. Mostly to get it out of the house.

  53. **waves at Herr**

    How are the kids doing?

  54. Jimbro, I just bought my propane for the year. Very happy the price came down.

  55. It was already 109F by 10am here.


  56. Is Hillary still running for President of the United States or is that nonsense over?

  57. Bernie Sanders looks insane.

    Jeb Bush looks mental.

  58. Hey Roamie! The kids are teh awesome. Your personal favorite is 4 now, and a holy terror. My parents are laughing in the afterlife. “See, dumbass? We told you the youngest is the worst!”

  59. Our youngest is our oldest. She is our best and worst child.

  60. Happy Birthday J’ames and Lippy!

  61. We should start a Keno thing online.

    The H2 Keno: We take half of your money for the children™.

  62. I noticed a loose brick on the chimney today.
    $40, 2 trips to Home Depot, and 6 hours later it’s fixed.

    Old houses suck.

  63. 1 bought 25 lbs of mortar mix, needed 27 lbs.

    How do they know? Whenever I seal the driveway I need exactly 1.125 cans.

  64. Speaking of Saturdsy Stupid….

    SiL got a new puppy. SiL can barely afford to feed her 5 kids.

  65. Comment by scott on August 15, 2015 5:10 pm

    Old houses suck.


  66. Also, building a wall in 90 degree heat is fucking awesome. I’m half-done. Need another case of water to complete it.

    Worst is yet to come. Tree roots.


  67. Looks like you are going to need a lot of fill.

  68. >>>Looks like you are going to need a lot of fill.

    Ayup. But at least this time, the truck probably won’t get stuck.

  69. Wally is a cute puppy. Dogs are expensive.


  71. You can probably cook inside your car.

  72. Best part was… Started the job around 11am. Spent about 90 minutes placing the first 8 or so blocks, ‘a the first blocks are the most important.

    Turns out, I only have 10 blocks of that size. The other 120 blocks are a completely different size.

    So I had to pull up everything I did and start over from the beginning.

    2 hours of blood and sweat in the blazing sun and I accomplished absolutely nothing.

  73. I’m feelin’ ya, Xbrad. We’re not too far behind.

    Went over to the Mesa House to do some more packing (yeah, I’m moving slow in there it seems); a/c was out and water stains on the wood floor. Yay. $144 for the a/c company just to arrive. Nope, I’ll wait until Monday.

  74. At least you’ve reached your high for the day, XB. 😘

  75. Evening.

  76. Maybe, Oso. We usually top out around 4 or 5.

  77. Wow. Neighbors’ daughter has gotten really fat, really fast. Seriously, I would guess that she has doubled in weight in just the last few months.

  78. Wait, Cyn is the mesa house a new house you’re moving into or a summer deal?
    Old houses suck.


    Florida is old housing except for very high end or certain areas. We found new housing (not our dream deal…not even close) but it hit one of our targets, new as in no constant working on it.

  79. We’re trying to decide whether we should build a house or buy one.

    Either way I’ll be saying fuck a lot.

  80. Spoke to her mom about her daughter’s ridiculous weight gain and how unhealthy that could be.

    She told me her daughter has gone from just over 6 lbs to almost 12 lbs since May.

    Sad, really.

  81. Either way I’ll be saying fuck a lot.


    HA! Yes, yes you will.

  82. hahahaha…You had me going, Wiser.

    Cute little babies.

    Why do poor people buy puppies?
    Because poor people are poor because they make poor choices.

    (get it/)

  83. Mesa house was Cyn’s mom’s house.

  84. WB, hahaha. Did you hold the baby?

  85. It’s one of two that I inherited when Mom passed away earlier this year. Going to rent the Mesa one out. Payson is the summer place.

  86. This is now their second dog. The first dog’s name is Grommet.

    My BiL is the worst dog owner on the planet (big surprise). He treats the horribly.

    Just like the rest of his family.

  87. For the last couple of months I have no sense of smell and very little sense of taste, today it all came back. The only thing different about today………..

    I was outside for about 6 hours so it could be an indoor allergy.
    I had my first Coke in about 3 months.
    I got six hours of full sun, or a healthy dose of vitamin D.

    I Just read up on vitamin D deficiency and a couple of the symptoms are inflammation and worsening of allergies.

    I’ll start taking vitamins and see what happens.

  88. You will learn new and exciting ways to use “fuck” with home ownership.

  89. >>>>WB, hahaha. Did you hold the baby?

    That’s how I figured out that she had gained so much weight.

    At this rate, that kid’s gonna be 600 lbs in Kindergarten!

    I’m thinking of calling DCF on the parents.

  90. >>>>You will learn new and exciting ways to use “fuck” with home ownership.

    I used that word, as well as other versions of that term, numerous times today.

    I had already apologized to my other neighbors in advance.

  91. Dang Scott, that sounds like a raw deal. You should get a sun lamp

  92. SUNUVABITCH!!!!!

    I just noticed that one of the blocks is slightly lower than the one next to it.


    * begins tearing down the wall

  93. Vitamins are a scam

  94. *lowers chin and whispers, “Brick”

  95. Payson meatup?

  96. People treat bronchitis with the essential oil of juniper. Guess what kind of bush I was in and around all day? Maybe that opened my airways.

  97. Vitamin D is a hormone, though, so it’s not really a scam.

  98. Sophia Bush?

  99. >>Payson meatup?

    Name The Date

  100. Hormones masquerading as vitamins are the new normal.

    Vitamin Caitlyn

    (I take Vitamin D 3-4 times a week)

  101. I came across a video on reddit yesterday that was pretty interesting. A lesbian feminist doing research for her book on male privilege decided to live as a man for 18 months.

    Along the way she developed severe depression.

    Her conclusions? Being a man isn’t easier, and living as another gender isn’t healthy.

    Now she’s just a lesbian.

  102. >>>>Now she’s just a lesbian.

    Hot lesbian or real-life lesbian?

  103. Not hot. Real life, but Brad would hit it.

  104. >>>>>>…. but Brad would hit it.

    Not exactly helpful

  105. Wiser, I’m working on some great material for my new Squash Talk segment on your show next season.

    I’m thinking of opening with a basic but riveting primer on cucurbits (for the few who are not in the know), then breaking out into long monogues covering the worlds of melons and winter squashes and their subspecies.

    Eventually I’ll finish up with some really fun travelogue stuff on Squashes of the World.

    I really, really appreciate this opportunity. I cried about it last night, I was so grateful for your generous offer to share airtime. Thanks, man. I will make you so proud. You will not regret this.

    You will NOT regret this.
    You will NOT regret this.
    You will NOT NOT NOT EVER regret this.

  106. If I move to Texas, I’m doing this to Dave

  107. Saturday Night at the Football!

  108. Sheldon Cooper presents Fun With Squash.

  109. OMG, the flooring never ends.

    Grout really makes it pop, though. it’s really pretty.

    Thanks the for b’day wishes, all. I spent it doing something I’ve never done. And at this rate, I’ll never do it again, haha.

  110. I can’t wait for the banter between Laura and TOM HILL!

  111. You will NOT regret this.
    You will NOT regret this.
    You will NOT NOT NOT EVER regret this.


    Unrelated question….

    It’s across for show and down to go, right?

  112. Fuck

  113. Yes, it is better to slice your squashes for grilling lengthwise, rather than in coins, which are more likely to scorch and fall between the grates.

  114. I was going to hold that special golden mystery back until show #5, just to build suspense, but, you’re the host, so.

  115. What about on an angle?

  116. >>>>>I can’t wait for the banter between Laura and TOM HILL!

    That……would be FANTASTIC!!!!!

  117. cutting squash on a bias….

    typical from winger raisiccistss

  118. H2 scratch tickets…every $10 ticket is a $5.00 winner,

  119. What about on an angle?

    That’s a spiritual question that you will have to take up with your pastor.

  120. Sends help

  121. Hate it when that happens.

  122. The Clintons:


  123. Did anybody actually read the fine print and find out that anybody else’s printer cartridge refill business did not in fact guarantee that the cartridges would be refilled with ink today?

  124. Jam2 with the Three Sisters crap. Summer meals at my Grammo’s were squash and beans or beans and squash. (Calabacitas is a corn, squash, and green chile dish)

  125. my Doc has me taking 50,000 IU’s of D3 1x a week

  126. Mini Rant: Wiserbud’s rant about the MFM getting to “Decide” what is and isn’t “News” makes me feral. Knife attack at Swedish IKEA was ready to trend until the attackers were identified. Chris Cuomo talking about Daeshbag sex slaves being a non-story because it may lead to people thinking #YesAllMuslims. We can’t have that. (I may have Oso’d the Cuomo qoute)

  127. well Oso we kilt it.
    What shall we talk about?

  128. okay it is dead and Oso is out

  129. It’s only mostly dead.

  130. Oops. I was stirring shit on FB

  131. J’ames spent his birthday doing flooring. I hope he got a nice steak.

  132. Dan is MST3K the local news. I think he’s Crow.

  133. Ok, I’m Tom Servo, he has to be Crow by default.

  134. Found out through Twitter that “Sausage fest” is transphobic.

  135. 6AM start time. I’m trying to negotiate a meat lovers burrito before work. G’night

  136. Well you know that I’m a wicked guy
    And I was born with a jealous mind.
    And I can’t spend my whole life
    Tryin’ just to make you derp the line.

  137. Evening all. I got dragged to a concert tonight. Brandi Carlile. The show was pretty good, except at the end she started in on gay marriage (she’s a lesbian), which annoyed the hell out of me.

    The crowd was mostly mannish lesbians, hipsters, and old hippies.

    Also, I rode up to the venue in a Subaru. The humor was not lost on me.

  138. So, now YOU are a lesbian.

  139. wakey wakey everyone. I had insomnia all night basically.

    Now i have a “fun run”. A crossfit friend is celebrating 4 years of sobriety and we’re all doing the run in in his honor w shirts etc.


  141. Morning.

  142. Eggs on toast, black coffee. Let the day begin.

  143. Running isn’t fun. That’s a lie right on the face of it.

  144. Coffee with heavy cream, bacon, and fresh eggs.

  145. I’m flying to Nebraska!

  146. WHY? Wait, is Nebraska a real place?

  147. I need to fun cut the lawn.

  148. You should fun fly to Nebraska. It’s much better and it only costs $50, plus they give you water and a shirt.

  149. Interesting about Scott and his allergies/vitamin D deficiency and being outside.

    Vit D doses really helped me in Texas. One of the things that was so hard for me there (hey, whores, shut up) was being inside most of the year. Too hot in summer, too cold in winter. BOOOOOOOOOO

  150. Hey, Jam2 I liked that slide fire video.

  151. Ohai, Scott.

  152. Xbrad, I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.

  153. Exercise is rarely fun. It’s work. Fun is riding your bike along a pacific highway, climbing to the top of a 14er and seeing the world below, dancing all night with a pretty girl, playing a tough soccer game, or many other activities. To do them, you need strength and endurance, and that means working out.

    The whole “let’s make exercise fun” drives me nuts. It’s usually pushed by leftist twits. “Come on, everyone. Let’s do pushups! Yay!” Bullshit. You want kids to get more exercise, show them that vigorous activity is part of being and adult, part of being a man.

    Bush and Reagan both understood this. They rode horses and bikes, they worked hard outside, they were active men. They didn’t ride a girls bike down to the ice-cream shop. They didn’t piddle around with five-pound weights. They didn’t tell people to eat kale and then stuff their faces with lobster.

  154. I’m in the airport.

    America has a weight problem.

  155. So does most of the rest of the First World. But it’s easier to simply shit on Americans and pretend that everyone else is svelte and intellectual and shit.

  156. Ohai.
    Snakes on a MF’n toast w a drink of your tasty beverage.

  157. Second place in my division. IT WAS FUN.

  158. When I’m in England I’ll make sure to include the rest of the developed nations when observing how fat the English have become.

  159. PR on time. I almost threw up though.

  160. Americans can get fat. I don’t care. Less competition. Just don’t make me have to deal with your “issues” regarding your ill health and lard-ass.

  161. When I say “almost threw up” I meant “almost threw up from THE FUN”.

  162. I also do not want to deal with anyone else’s “issues”.

    Please be fat, poor, ghey, oppressed, outraged, enraged, depressed, put-out, shot-out, shut-out, old, young, middle-aged, foreign, or domestic quietly.

    I’m trying to watch Star Trek.

  163. *sets phaser to stun Scott W*


  165. I got up at the crack of 11am for this?

  166. Is it hot there? if yes then You should go up in the attic and comb the insulation.

  167. I can’t believe that Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter are supporting Trump.

  168. It’s already 108F here.

  169. 109.


  171. did mj make it thru the airport?

  172. It’s awfully hot for yard work today. Sigh. but if no one’s going to hang out here – what choice do I have?

    So … tired… slept like crap last night and that run this am really took it out of me.

    I’d really appreciate it if you guys would hang out and keep from heading back outside.

  173. It’s way too hot to go outside, and it’s only going to get worse.

  174. It’s only 87 here.

  175. Did you win the fun run?

  176. No. but I came in 2nd in my age/women’s division. I’ll take that.

  177. What did the shirt say?

    “No Body Likes a Quitter”

  178. Imma have a beer.

    Who’s ready?

  179. What did the shirt say?


    “Don’t let the fattie pass you.”

  180. No – the shirt was nice – it had a bible quote on the back and the front it said “Team Lapeer Crossfit” and our friends name with “sober 4ever” or something.

    I just imagined it said “don’t let the fatties pass you”

    Chump – I’m one beer ahead of you. I’ve got to re-hydrate.

  181. Way to kick butt, Carin. You do the H2 proud!

    *slides Carin an ice cold one*

  182. Where has Hotspur been?

    Where has Beasnsnsnsns Been?

  183. Just in time Mare!

    I almost sharted when I heard someone’s GPS mention our pace. I thought “no wonder I feel like puking”. I was trying to keep up with this one woman who’s faster than me (and younger) but really couldn’t – so just trying to hold my own.

  184. Beasn has been on facedouche. She commented on a picture I poated of my beautiful Iris. OMG is it gorgeous.

  185. Mr. RFH filled out the religious education form for Mini-me. I laughed at it because “allergies” was auto-corrected to “allegories”, as in “Does your child have any medical conditions we should be aware of, such as allegories or behavioral problems?”

    He put “severe sarcasm”.

  186. No barf = no try.

    Get back out there and run a little more. The beer should expedite things a bit.

  187. I’ve felt like barfing during many of my workouts.

    But they may be when I’m next to the mirrors.

  188. I have a 9 mile race in 2 weeks. I’m doomed.

  189. Good evening.

  190. Today I found Scrappy. She’s a Meishan I had as a little piggie. I thought she went to market but today I found her in the pregnant barn.

  191. Yay for Scrappy!

  192. It hit 90 degrees today. For us, that’s unbearable. 92 degrees forecast for tomorrow. Paula was able to switch days so she’ll be off tomorrow and able to be at camp with the boys. We have a rule of no swimming when we’re not home.

  193. Scrappy is preggers? Hot damn!

  194. I’m sure she will have a lovely litter of piggies.

  195. “Yay for Scrappy!”

    for not being scrapple

  196. jewstin, i showed pics of meishans to my daughter… she wants to raise a couple of them with me; my wife’s not amused.

  197. for lauraw and jay:

    it’s not appealing to me –

  198. Well done Jam. You can tell. Mrs. Jam that Meishans are friendly lazy piggies. She will love them. They don’t get very big. Only 300 lbs.

  199. Hammer – i tried to find breeders around here – no joy.

    the pig breeding thing seems to be quite the war zone…

  200. Pirro nailed it:

  201. Summer squash pizza looks yummy.

  202. Great last day of play at PGA by Jason Day.

  203. There is a black cat lying between my two gardens, staring at the house. This makes me kind of happy, honestly. So cute.

    So, something was still cutting my bean vines- to the point where I have only few still alive. So I went and really looked at the situation. The vines were trained by me to cross over a beam at the back of the garden and then climb the fence behind the beam (I had stacked a couple beams back there and back filled a bit to help correct the slope of the garden). The cuts are all right where the vines cross over the beam. It looks for all the world like something was using the beam as a walkway and just cut the vines to clear its path. Very odd. Not really vole behavior, you know?

    So I told Scott and he put a trap right on the beam. Today he caught the thing. A small rat.


  204. So, trespassing cat isn’t even working off the clock to take out garden rats?

  205. MARE!!!!! Lauraw is making implications about lazy garden cats based on color!!

  206. Garden cat can’t get into my garden. I am trying to keep dogs and cats out of there.

  207. You need a garden Gila Monster. They are guaranteed to catch rats, work for peanuts (literally, they enjoy peanuts) and there’s obvious synergies with your need for venom.

  208. Interesting, MJ. Very interesting.

  209. Can Gilas withstand CT Winter?

  210. Can you smoke a Gila Monster?

  211. You can smoke anything.

  212. Read that most of the Trump Humpers aren’t registered voters. My GM went on break with Dan and I. He loves The Donald. Not a registered voter. RNC is manuevering to keep DT off the ballot in multiple states. I’m all in for Cruz. I still H8 what the GOPe did in MS.

  213. Gila would have to come inside for the Winter. CT is inhospitable to lizards.

  214. considers new business opportunities:

    Summer Gila Rentals dot Com™

  215. A link from the squash pizza page.
    Never heard of a Tomato Pie.
    It looks interesting:

  216. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a backup server. The problem for Hillary! is that IT folks aren’t stupid.

    This is gonna get fun.

  217. Local place makes a potato, apple, and red onion pizza.

  218. The fact she chose the IT group she did is fascinating as well

  219. She probably didn’t even know who they were. Some lackey chose them.

    BTW, my deepest wish in all this isn’t Benghazi emails, or classified info. It’s that the deleted emails show she was selling US policy for donations to the Clinton Foundation. Because then the whole foundation gets shut down and every Clinton associate suddenly becomes a leper. Let poor widdle Chelsea get a real job slinging burgers to pay for the apartment with her slacker husband.

  220. theme song for Summer Gila Rentals:

    “Hava daGila”

    tune courtesy of TJ

    (note: skip to 43 seconds if easily bored)

  221. Dog might eat the lizard.

  222. I bet there will be an uptick in suicides in Colorado, as well as some suspicious fires.

  223. From CoAl’s lips to God’s ears.

  224. …as well as some suspicious fires.

    Sends help

    *couldn’t resist the callback*

  225. **has short fantasy of Chelsea living in a trailer park, bugging the local TV station with UFO sightings**

    **switches over to Chris Pratt**

  226. Hey, Hillary! How’s that campaigning going?

  227. Killed it, I have.
    NYTOL. and have a blessed tomorrow…

  228. nitey knight Krisspy

  229. snootch

  230. not directed at ChrisP… just a random tourettes thing

  231. i think thats from soylent green

  232. and a damn funny word

  233. MMM is on break for another week. Do what you gotta do.

  234. Did anybody spend all day trying to troubleshoot anybody else’s stupid internet connection?

  235. Sunlight falling down above us
    We belong to all that we asked for
    You do talk about the signs with passion
    Your derp I discovered at this shore

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