Big Boob Friday

Herro, and welcome to the infamous big boob Friday1!!!1!!!!!!! This week will be sooper special because I think I’ve found a model that has a more ‘wut‘ look than the original ‘wut‘ girl. But before we get to the sweater canons, lets listen to some music to get us in the mood.

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As you are probably aware, I enjoy collecting records. In a few weeks I’ll be taking delivery of the new Beach House album, Depression Cherry. It will be made of clear vinyl, and packaged in a crushed red velvet sleeve. As Oso would say, I’m totes essited. The digital download (if you purchased the record) was make available this week and Oso would say, it is totes awesome. Now here’s some old shit. 

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Now let’s talk boobies. I’ve already forgotten this girl’s name, but I know she’s from Italy and has some truly amazing ta-tas. If you disagree you can meet me by the flag pole after school and we’ll duke it out. So please stop deleting work emails from your personal computer long enough to welcome that Italian chick with the stupid look and totes fackable titties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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ddc0f8abbe91c50dc5e0fdb1842ba2f9

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valentina-matteucci-nude-9

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valentina-matteucci-nude-5

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valentina-matteucci_114166-1

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bda0494f07aeef801c27f64e76aa2e82

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Valentina-Matteucci-Italia-13

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valentina-matteucci-nude-1

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34ca31b8ec62cfc7ce70eb97cdfb3ed6

Her name is Valentina Metteucci.

155 Comments

  1. nose ring

  2. Someone needs to sweep up that stairway.

  3. Woof.

  4. Butter face

  5. Some quality time under the squat rack would help her immensely, but I’d still hit it.

  6. The Italians have a saying

    Nose ring

    Cock ring

    Wedding ring

    I have no idea what it means, I used the online translator

  7. Nose ring

    Cock ring

    Wedding ring

    Vini, Vidi, Vici. Julius Caesar was ahead of his time!

  8. Bathtub ring

  9. Her face looks air brushed a LOT. I’m guessing bad complexion.

  10. O-ring.

  11. why does MJ still have posting privileges?

  12. Wut?

  13. this is so funny on so many levels….
    http://magazine.good.is/articles/80-million-shade-balls-help-save-la-water-supply

    the irony

  14. Comment by wiserbud on August 14, 2015 10:43 am

    why does MJ still have posting privileges?

    Because you touch yourself at night.

  15. Because you touch yourself at night.

    well, that’s never gonna stop…..

  16. The Jets are the Florida Man of the NFL

  17. You could try to quit, you know.

  18. You could try to quit, you know.

    one one hand, it would stop MJ from assaulting our senses with these “woman.”

    On the other hand…..

  19. Jam,

    $300 million for black plastic balls? Shouldn’t they have at least made them light colored so they reflect more sunlight? Or is that raaacisst?

  20. I wonder what happens when the plastic starts degrading…

  21. I wonder what happens when the plastic starts degrading…

    No worries. They’re probably made from recycled plastic water bottles….

    oh wait…..

  22. Fuck you, MJ. Just fuck you to hell.

  23. It appears Emily has a sandy vagina today.

  24. really?

    *looks….

    I don’t think that’s sand….

  25. Id still hit it.

  26. whu?

  27. Kosher salt maybe?

  28. *looks….

    You’re right. It’s ants.

    No wonder you’re so grumpy.

  29. Niiiiiice

  30. Her face makes me scared. Wasn’t she in that Japanese movie where the girl has hair over her face and if you look at her you die?

  31. I’m pretty sure the movie was called ‘Inside Lydia’s Ass’.

  32. Lydia’s ass is a scam.

  33. What should we talk about now?

  34. I’m gonna go garden so you can talk about me behind my back.

  35. We never talk about people behind their backs.

    Hey, MJ, don’t you think Wiserbud is a dickhead?

  36. Hey Hotspur. Is the pope Catholic and fond of fondling?

    Also, it’s Pride weekend in Charlotte so I assume you’ll be needing a place to stay?

  37. I already have plans to spend the weekend with your mom.

  38. A whole weekend for the pride bullshit?

    Can’t they just corn hole and not be out priding about it?

  39. The pride parade here is pretty funny. Its just a small pathetic group of about 200 people walking down the street. No floats, no guys in jockstraps, no public butt fucking.

    Bancha amateurs.

  40. *lowers chin and whispers, “Corn hole”*

  41. I expect do much more from pride. It was a huge disappointment last year.

    Where are my giant cock balloons?

  42. I have very limited internet access, but I logged in to congratulate Jewstin for throwing that Animal Rights animal over the fence

  43. little OT rant here:

    Why the FUCK does our news media waste so much time on meaningless bullshit? I’m not talking about Trump or politics or anything like that.

    I just heard a news story about a guy who was part of a construction team that was doing work on someone’s house who stole a watch from the house. Homeowners reported the theft, they determined he stole it the watch was returned and the guy is facing charges.

    Seriously, WTF?!?!? THIS IS FUCKING NEWS THAT NEEDS TO BE REPORTED LIKE IT HAS SOME FUCKING MEANING AND IMPACT ON ANYONE’S LIVES EXCEPT FOR THOSE INVOLVED???

    What a fucking waste of time and resources. Yesterday, they reported, every half-hour, about a guy who died in a motorcycle accident the NW corner of the state. Just a guy. Nobody of any significance to anyone but his friends and family. But it’s breathlessly reported with in-depth details every 30 fucking minutes.

    Really???!?!? Someone riding a motorcycle died? Well SHIT!! That NEVER happens!! ALERT THE MEDIA!!!!

    It happens every day and everywhere. Somebody’s garage caught fire. No one is hurt and minimal damage. RUN THAT SUCKER! INTERVIEW THE FIRE DEPARTMENT CHIEF! GET THE NEIGHBOR’S POV!!! CONTACT AN INSURANCE EXPERT WHO CAN ESTIMATE THE DAMAGE!!!

    What’s next? Are they gonna tell me about every single parking ticket that is issued in the fucking state?

  44. little OT rant here:

    Why the FUCK does our news media waste so much time on meaningless bullshit? I’m not talking about Trump or politics or anything like that.

    I just heard a news story about a guy who was part of a construction team that was doing work on someone’s house who stole a watch from the house. Homeowners reported the theft, they determined he stole it the watch was returned and the guy is facing charges.

    Seriously, WTF?!?!? THIS IS FUCKING NEWS THAT NEEDS TO BE REPORTED LIKE IT HAS SOME FUCKING MEANING AND IMPACT ON ANYONE’S LIVES EXCEPT FOR THOSE INVOLVED???

    What a fucking waste of time and resources. Yesterday, they reported, every half-hour, about a guy who died in a motorcycle accident the NW corner of the state. Just a guy. Nobody of any significance to anyone but his friends and family. But it’s breathlessly reported with in-depth details every 30 fucking minutes.

    Really???!?!? Someone riding a motorcycle died? Well SHIT!! That NEVER happens!! ALERT THE MEDIA!!!!

    It happens every day and everywhere. Somebody’s garage caught fire. No one is hurt and minimal damage. RUN THAT SUCKER! INTERVIEW THE FIRE DEPARTMENT CHIEF! GET THE NEIGHBOR’S POV!!! CONTACT AN INSURANCE EXPERT WHO CAN ESTIMATE THE DAMAGE!!!

    What’s next? Are they gonna tell me about every single parking ticket that is issued in the fucking state?

    TL/DR

  45. TL/DR

    lips get tired more quickly as you age, I guess.

  46. Gotta fill airtime.

    Just had my first ride.

  47. little OT rant here:

    Why the FUCK does our news media waste so much time on meaningless bullshit? I’m not talking about Trump or politics or anything like that.

    I just heard a news story about a guy who was part of a construction team that was doing work on someone’s house who stole a watch from the house. Homeowners reported the theft, they determined he stole it the watch was returned and the guy is facing charges.

    Seriously, WTF?!?!? THIS IS FUCKING NEWS THAT NEEDS TO BE REPORTED LIKE IT HAS SOME FUCKING MEANING AND IMPACT ON ANYONE’S LIVES EXCEPT FOR THOSE INVOLVED???

    What a fucking waste of time and resources. Yesterday, they reported, every half-hour, about a guy who died in a motorcycle accident the NW corner of the state. Just a guy. Nobody of any significance to anyone but his friends and family. But it’s breathlessly reported with in-depth details every 30 fucking minutes.

    Really???!?!? Someone riding a motorcycle died? Well SHIT!! That NEVER happens!! ALERT THE MEDIA!!!!

    It happens every day and everywhere. Somebody’s garage caught fire. No one is hurt and minimal damage. RUN THAT SUCKER! INTERVIEW THE FIRE DEPARTMENT CHIEF! GET THE NEIGHBOR’S POV!!! CONTACT AN INSURANCE EXPERT WHO CAN ESTIMATE THE DAMAGE!!!

    What’s next? Are they gonna tell me about every single parking ticket that is issued in the fucking state?

    Says the guy who covers the pet adoption drive.

  48. Just had my first ride.

    Whose mom?

    Just like a moped. They’re fun to ride until your friends catch you doing it.

  49. Gotta fill airtime.

    So much other stuff going on that actually has an impact on peoples’ lives that could do that just as easily. That some little kid fell off a bike at a park 1785 miles from me is meaningless

  50. That some little kid fell off a bike at a park 1785 miles from me is meaningless

    Whaaaa?!!? I am outrageously outraged at your lack of outrage!!

  51. For MJ Only – no one else look

  52. In the robot car, Jay. First lap is “cautious” and that was fine. The “sporty” lap was harrowing. Not because of the robot, mind you, but because I’m a very cautious driver by nature.

  53. Hi Tushar!

    How is your trip going?
    http://i.imgur.com/N2Ip9lw.gifv

  54. Whaaaa?!!? I am outrageously outraged at your lack of outrage!!

    fuck ’em

  55. Yeah. That pisses me off too, but not as much as the bias. Cops shoot a burglar who was resisting arrest and the headline is “cops shoot unarmed football player.”

    Your Mom is Friendly, details at 11:00

  56. Hilary’s IT company didn’t have security clearance.

  57. Oh, this whole Hillary IT/email thing is every bit as bad as I predicted.

    As soon as I heard she didn’t even have a DoS email, I knew it was all utterly compromised.

  58. Says the guy who covers the pet adoption drive.

    Ummmm, they pay for that. It’s called “promotion.”

  59. She’s an arrogant bitch and it’s catching up with her.

    “Me not email about drones on a secure server? Shove it.”

  60. As soon as I heard she didn’t even have a DoS email, I knew it was all utterly compromised.

    That’s what I find ridiculously insane. Why wouldn’t she take the DoS e-mail account as cover for whatever else she was trying to hide. Not having one at all is a huge red flag. If she had one, no one probably would have ever heard about her personal server.

    “Smartest woman in America?” I think not.

  61. She wouldn’t even be the smartest woman at H2.

    She wouldn’t even be the smartest woman working at Oso’s Sam’s club.

  62. For MJ Only – no one else look
    ———————————
    Hahahhahahahahaha. Nice job.

  63. The Obama admin must be giving someone the OK to leak this.

  64. The people who think Hillary is smart are the same dumbasses who tried to tell us Obama is scary smart.

    Yeah, he’s scary smart alright, he’d kick ass in a 4th grade classroom…maybe.

    Michael Beschloss I’m looking at you. And you too David Brooks (one of the largest tools in the tool box).

  65. The Obama admin must be giving someone the OK to leak this.
    —-

    Yep.

    Obama doesn’t want Clinton to be Pres.

  66. She’s the worst politician in history.

    But she sure has a sexy ass.

  67. The lack of a DoS email is baffling. That should have been created for her on day 1 by the IT folks at DoS without anyone telling them to do it.

  68. Derp. You think?

    He’s such a narcissist that he wants Joe to win his ‘third’ term. He’ll campaign his ass off for Biden.

  69. The Obama admin must be giving someone the OK to leak this.
    —-

    Yep.

    Obama doesn’t want Clinton to be Pres.

    Yup. I don’t think he wants or cares if a Dem gets elected. A Republican would shoulder all the blame when things fall apart, and he can spend the following four years going onto every talk show and interview and telling people that everything was fine until that nasty President Walker made a hash of all the wonderful things that Obama had done.

  70. Vice President Obama.

  71. If Hillary! doesn’t drop out, I expect the WH to leak to the press that they always kept her at a distance because they were “concerned” about rumors of a drinking problem.

  72. ValJar must totes H8 Shrill. I just wonder who will step up that isn’t a crypt keeper.

  73. Garden plant reviews follow. If you don’t like to read about gardening, you can skip to the next comment. I have to say this, because some of you who are not interested in gardening will post negative comments about my gardening discussions, suffering from an erroneous belief that 1) I give a Fuck, and 2) you are being forced to read it all against your will.

    Any of you guys that have gardens up against a tall fence, you need to grow zucchini ‘Rampicante.’ Amazing plant. Eliminates a lot of summer squash problems. Borers, squash bugs, and disease don’t seem to bother it. It’s also called ‘Tromboncino’.

    You grow it up on a tall (strong) fence or trellis so it doesn’t sprawl all over the garden real estate. The fruits are still young and tender at a huge size. And the flesh is firmer, less spongy/ mushy than regular zucchini. I’ve harvested three, two-foot long squashes so far and grilled them all. Very nice.

    Since it grows up in the air, you don’t have the pain in the ass of carefully picking a footpath through heavy ground foliage, and you really can’t miss seeing the fruits like you do in foliage on the ground. And if you don’t pick them on time, well, you can let them mature and eat them as Winter squash instead. It is a member of C. moschata, just like butternut squash.

    I haven’t tried to make ‘pasta’ threads from the flesh yet, but that is the next thing I’m going to try.

    Review:
    Zucchino Rampicante= two forks up

    Another review:

    I may have mentioned Marvel of Venice pole wax romano beans.

    Amazingly prolific, amazingly early, but after having it for a few meals…just not very tasty. The point of doing this gardening is to get superior food, not the same flavor I can get at the store. Past romano bean trials have spoiled me for their flavor, but not their performance.

    So I’m going to try to find a green Romano that fares better in my climate (usually they are absolutely delicious but annoyingly late to produce).

    Review:
    Marvel of Venice = One fork up, one fork down.

  74. Joe Biden is getting a campaign together. Yes, it’s real and it’s happening. FFS. This is worse than Valerie Jarrett’s face.

  75. The Questions for Carly comments at the HQ are funny.

  76. 108F right now. But it’s windy.

  77. I bet he already has Jomentum.

  78. Al Gore looks like hell, I’m hoping that works against him with the Kardasian voting block:

    http://therealrevo.com/blog/?p=134771

  79. Heidi Cruz would be a smart, attractive, articulate First Lady. She’s much, much smarter than the current President.

  80. Democrat varsity team – Hillary, Biden, Gore, and The Colonel.

    The future is looking brighter.

  81. Yeah, the hip democrats have old, white people.

    The GOP has a younger, diverse skew.

  82. Comment by lauraw on August 14, 2015 4:51 pm
    ‘Tromboncino’. Venice pole wax

    ==================

    You know who else knows how to “play the trombone” and “Venice pole wax” ?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Your mom………

  83. Nailed it.

  84. http://i.imgur.com/xTNoDPh.gifv

  85. http://tinyurl.com/pmdwptv

    I find the comments to be the best part at imgur.

  86. They’re from Phoenix, Cyn.

    http://okillydokilly.bandcamp.com/album/okilly-demos

  87. I’m happily going to make pizza, so I don’t have to look at this floor for 8 hours.

  88. But it looks so good, Jay!

  89. This is why cats rule the internet, they are kick ass:

    http://tinyurl.com/o44zbaa

  90. I can only see a fuzzy pic on my phone, Xbrad; should I recognize them?

  91. Yay pizza! Errybody likes pizza. And parfaits.

  92. /Shrek

  93. It’s a band modelled on Ned Flanders.

  94. Laylaauraw’s reviews are interesting.

    Everyone else step it up!

    *folds belt over and cracks it

  95. *folds belt over and cracks it

    Ooh, I’ll go get the ball-gag.

  96. I like the 2 fork review.

  97. Good day, mammary mavens.

  98. Evening.

  99. Heh. Mammary mavens.

  100. “Everyone else step it up!”

    i didn;t realize that we were forking things up by not commenting….

    mixed signals and all:

    first she says she doesn’t give a fork about us, then she
    talks about young tender firm flesh (i’m out),
    then she’s waving two forks skyward, then one up and one down (like a good start to an inning), all while interspersing the review with terms of genius and speciousness…

    i was never fluent in semafork…

  101. Jam2 nailed it!!!

  102. Gin and diet tonic. I forgot to buy limes.

  103. Bear with me. I H8 the shoes in pic 3 and 5. They are totes Miss Piggy shoes. They make Emily2.0 look like she has cankles. I may be shoe obsessed due to my duck feet exclusion from being able to wear cute shoes.

  104. She has feet?

  105. Gin and diet tonic. I forgot to buy limes.

    Just swig it straight out of the bottle. Sure, you’ll hate yourself in the short term, but you’ll thank me when you’re not washing a glass.

  106. Daisy likes to scrub her side against my knees when I scratch her back. It’s unfortunate that she weighs 400 lbs.

  107. Sean, if I find myself drinking out of the bottle, I’ll join you on the wagon shortly thereafter. I’m having a measured 3 ounces, and that’s it for the week.

  108. Daisy if you do

  109. Tombstone’d/

  110. That might have sounded rude, but I didn’t mean it to. I have AA members in my family and I worry some about getting addicted, so I watch my intake like an autist watches trains.

  111. Brisket and cheese sandwich and cassata cake, life is good.

  112. Scott, fork up?

  113. No offense taken, leon. And good on you for knowing your limitations.

    *puzzles over how anyone can drink 3 ounces of alcohol in a time period not measured in seconds*

  114. Just swig it straight out of the bottle.

    Best request for a blowjob evah.

  115. While I’m still sober, I love you guys. You make me laugh. Yazidi, Iran, Cuba, Reds baseball. Life has been tough. You help me stay on the bright side of life.

  116. I love you too, Oso, that’s why I worry so.

  117. Yeah Oso, I flipped through the three network nightly news shows tonight and spent about a minute on each while they masturbated furiously to the story of the opening of the embassy in Havana. Horseface Kerry was going on about how friendly all the people were as if that has fuckall to do with reasons for diplomatic relations. One of the anchors was talking about how it was a country trapped in time and how they could now begin to modernize and join the rest of the world. What the fuck was keeping them from modernizing before? They still had diplomatic relations and trade agreements with practically every other nation of significance in then world. Why do they still drive 58 model Chevys over there when they have access to brand new Toyotas and Beamers? Our pimp hand must’ve been mighty strong to keep them from trading with anyone else, period, for 54 years. Too bad we can’t use it to get all the camel and goat fuckers in line.

  118. Ace is talking to Carly.

    Fuck it. I’m voting for her in the primary if she’s still in. Just for that.

  119. http://tinyurl.com/psxbpk4

  120. Fuck the news, I’m watching the Marx Brothers. Much needed therapy after today.

  121. I am much happier without cable TV, let alone cable news.

  122. http://tinyurl.com/p8m4kx2

  123. Sitting in our gazebo, watching the Giants game.

    #redneckParadise

  124. Now, 8-egg omelet with pepper-jack and cheddar. No bacon because it’s Friday.

  125. Horseface Kerry was going on about how friendly all the people were as if that has fuckall to do with reasons for diplomatic relations.

    People liking us is the entire foreign policy rationale for any Democrat. All our embassies in the Middle East could burn and all their ambassadors could be dragged through the streets, and if a couple of the BeNeLux countries had a favorable opinion of whatever mealy-mouthed apology WE issued in response, it would totes be worth it.

  126. Thanks, Leon. Kiss your bebe from me and give Benny some Oso love too

  127. Fidel wants reparations! I bet TFG gives back Gitmo with nothing to show.

  128. Will do, Oso.

    I want other countries to hate and fear us again. I don’t think I’m alone on that.

  129. Cinci QB Johnson deserves a job. He looks good.

    Poor guy has been bouncing around the league for years.

  130. Oso, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ordered the Marines to evacuate Gitmo and just let the Cubans come in and take it.

  131. I’m so full of H8, I want to give bebe Leon some major prayers. There are things we will never recover thanks to TFG. We (NM) have criminal felons in Havana that are totes cool THX to TFG

  132. The marines should go AWOL if that happens and conquer Cuba instead.

  133. More footage of China blowing up. NSFW language.

  134. I wonder if the Chinese will allow Western charities to help in the recovery.

  135. Ebaumsworld – that’s a name I haven’t seen in a long time.

  136. That video (with bleeps) is the first-up on this CNN page; there lots of other videos there too:

    http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/13/asia/china-tianjin-explosions/

  137. Something similar is about to happen in Iran.

    I hope.

  138. *fingers crossed

  139. I hope it’s while TFG is in office.

  140. There wouldn’t be enough popcorn.

    ___________________________

    I’ve been kinda out of the news loop lately (needed a break from the overload), but when you’ve lost HuffPo…
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/abraham-r-wagner/hillarys-servergate-round_b_7989500.html

  141. This is annoying AF; something Rosetta would have bugged us with for weeks… maybe I missed him linking this crap?

    https://youtu.be/yZ15vCGuvH0

  142. **puts a contract out on Cyn**

  143. That won’t haunt me while I try to sleep at all.

  144. *twirls around wearing a pink tutu laughing giddily like Rosetta

  145. Did anybody explain to anybody else that moldy Kraft Singles are not in fact “more or less the same as fine, aged cheddar” today?

  146. Ha!
    Cyn rocks!

  147. Reading Tottens writings about Cuba, it seems that while tourist stuff will open up, and dollars will flow into the country, all the citizens will still only be allowed to keep their state salary of $20/month. All other monies will be remitted to the state…

  148. For my money this is the best explanation of the Trump Anomaly.
    http://crankytrex.blogspot.com/2015/08/trump-is-fuck-you-candidate.html

  149. Democrats’ dislike of Hillary is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a glass. The GOP dislike of Trump is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in a glass.

  150. Chris
    I have worked with many Cubans who fled Castro, and I know many Marielitos. You know the people Castro had locked up in jail?
    From what I have heard out of the 125,000 who came over in 1980, we sent 5000 of them back, and within 5 years there were 80,000 new business owners.
    Entrepreneurs of entrepreneurs, and capitalist tools every one. Send more here.

  151. Vmax,
    I wish them well…

  152. Delicious. http://pjmedia.com/instapundit/212576/

  153. My buddy whom I will call “A” was in jail because he hated the Russians. A and his bro were out on their front porch after the 9:00 pm curfew. At 9:05 2 Russian officers walked by and ordered them inside. A went in while his brother back talked the Russians.

    They shot and killed him on the spot.

    A retaliated by slashing tires ans dumping sugar into the gas tanks of military vehicles.

    He was eventually caught and imprisoned. Only to come to the USA a few years Later.

  154. Had you come some other derp then
    It might not have been like this
    But you see now I’m too much in love


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