Poker wire: Replacement art

Since Chumpo took the day off, I feel it necessary to jump in with some art. Art, for the common man. Art for the person who’s never been to one of those hoity toity art galleries:


Nothing describes art better than pets and velvet, amirite?

We can have 20’s variations:


We can have real life versions, without the velvet:


We can even have versions with our favorite make believe friends:


But we all know the Hostage version:


Have a great Tuesday!


  1. Some of my best work.

    Yeah, I know, low bar and all.

  2. I hate hate HATE the new posting interface. Can’t even see all the categories and tags anymore!

  3. On a serious note, make sure you read this:

  4. Jay, have you ever been to The Greenwood Lounge on Ingersoll Avenue? Way back in the day their owner hired the “dogs playing poker” artist to decorate, and he reproduced his work on the wall.

  5. I have, Russ. Interesting place.

  6. you can see the wall in some of the pictures, notably, in the pictures section:

  7. Last pic made me giggle like a retard.

  8. Oso, yes it’s allergies. I’ve been able to get by with Flonase and allegra, but I think I’m going to have to go get a prescription for something stronger.

  9. Excellent categories/tags, Jay!!

  10. Well done J’ames.

  11. Ha!

    This does not suck, Jay.

  12. Wait, did the flying monkeys get called?

    Why? WHY?

  13. Dogs Playing Poker refers collectively to a series of sixteen oil paintings by C. M. Coolidge, commissioned in 1903 by Brown & Bigelow to advertise cigars.

    All the paintings in the series feature anthropomorphized dogs, but the nine in which dogs are seated around a card table have become well known in the United States as examples of mainly working-class taste in home decoration.

    Critic Annette Ferrara has derisively described Dogs Playing Poker as “indelibly burned into … the American collective-schlock subconscious … through incessant reproduction on all manner of pop ephemera.”

    The titles in the “Dogs Playing Poker” series proper are:

    A Bold Bluff (originally titled Judge St. Bernard Stands Pat on Nothing)

    A Friend in Need

    His Station and Four Aces

    Pinched with Four Aces

    Poker Sympathy

    Post Mortem

    Sitting up with a Sick Friend

    Stranger in Camp

    Waterloo (originally titled Judge St. Bernard Wins on a Bluff)

    Ten Miles to a Garage

    Riding the Goat

    New Year’s Eve in Dogville

    One to Tie Two to Win

    Breach of Promise Suit

    The Reunion

    A Bachelor’s Dog

    These were followed in 1910 by a similar painting, Looks Like Four of a Kind.

    Some of the compositions in the series are modeled on paintings of human card-players by such artists as Caravaggio, Georges de La Tour, and Paul Cézanne.

    On February 15, 2005, the originals of A Bold Bluff and Waterloo were auctioned as a pair to an undisclosed buyer for US $590,400. The previous top price for a Coolidge was $74,000.

  14. I find it hard to believe Wiser has not been thrown out of Belieze yet.

  15. Why not 17?

  16. Trying to make Emily seem smart is not working.

  17. Heh, I wonder how many times this happens, and all the new dash cams are gonna catch it. Lying liars gotta lie.

  18. 5th Waffen PP video drops (love that name, stealing it). Court order doesn’t seem to have done a lot of good, since this one is in Texas.


  19. >>>Trying to make Emily seem smart is not working.


  20. Emily, Your Mom, It’s Old, man I love this place.

  21. Heh, Ronda Rousey hit with a pay equity question, but her answer wasn’t what they expected:

  22. >>>>>I find it hard to believe Wiser has not been thrown out of Belieze yet.

    They love me here.

    Oh, and…. “Belize”


  23. Even with the same number of fights, she probably still wouldn’t make the same amount, because more people are interested in watching a two heavyweight men slug it out than two women fight for thirty-seconds before one goes down.

  24. Belize



    Who Nutz r Dez?

  25. We may have to send MJ up a river with a small boat crew to bring Wiserbud home.

  26. Globe. Shit. I’m still in Globe…

  27. Fo foty days and foty nites.

    All dey did was fuck and fight.

    Thats all I member of a long rap one of my darker complected teammates shared with me back in the day.

  28. Putas combating on ppv reminded me of it.

  29. Official dating site of H3?

  30. That or

  31. I love the smell of compost in the morning. You know, one time we had a garden weeded, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ’em, not one stinkin’ weed. The smell, you know that earthy smell, the whole garden. Smelled like… victory

  32. >>>>>We may have to send MJ up a river with a small boat crew to bring Wiserbud home.

    The piña coladas…. the piña coladas…..

  33. Ok, now THAT is a creepy vision.


  34. Traffic sure has gone down since Car in started gardening.

  35. Carin is a scam.

  36. Me being trapped in a priso… office doesn’t help either.

  37. No gardening today.

    1) removed dead chicken from under coop – which took a while because I didn’t want to crawl UNDER it and had to try a few different things before I could get it.

    2) bank

    3) haircut

    4) Petsmart for flea stuff. Yes. I have fleas

    5) laundy

    6) clean/sort/organize ginormous work room which is too packed with crap to actually do any “work” in. This was today’s major project

    7) bath dogs. Fog house

    8) figure out WTF to make for dinner.

    9) now it’s time to work out.

  38. Zelda is traumatized from her bath.

  39. Diatomaceous earth is great for taking care of a flea problem.


  41. Diatomaceous earth is a scam.

  42. The top item in Ace’s sidebar right now is an article about a documentary some lefty made about her father.

    Reminds me of a lot of kids I go to school with right now. Not the liberalism; the lack of respect for other people’s privacy.

    These kids blab about their parents’ health issues, friends’ private business, other relatives, to whole roomfuls of other people, apparently without thinking twice about it for a single second.

    I don’t think their parents ever told them about maintaining the privacy of the family unit, or how to behave honorably with other people’s information. Trustworthiness in this regard is apparently not even a topic in their lives, except in class (as a courtesy you extend to patients).

    I wonder how good they’ll be at protecting patient privacy when they have absolutely no practice at keeping their mouths shut about every single other person they know.

  43. This generation lives their life online, and documents it in Facebook and Twitter.

    Not surprised.

  44. I detest gossip. I won’t participate in it. A woman who used to sit by me in the ghetto bar used to try to talk about people all of the time, including her husband. One night I said, “No offense, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about people behind their back.”

    I don’t think she really understood why.

  45. I just woke up. Stay tuned.

    Im such a darrelict.

  46. Good Job Jay.

    Very funny.

  47. “I wonder how good they’ll be at protecting patient privacy when they have absolutely no practice at keeping their mouths shut about every single other person they know.”

    Paula tells me about nurses getting fired for posting comments on facedouche every so often. Idiots.

  48. How the FUCK am I supposed to maintain my cover when the golf cart they rent me has 007 on the license plate????

    I knew I should have just gone with the Aston Martin and gotten it over with.


    Evasive maneuvers! Serpentine!! SERPENTINE!!

  50. *calls Hillary for advice on advancing under fire

  51. You should sign Barack’s birthday card

    Jay —

    Today, Barack is turning 54. Hearing from folks who are organizing across the country is a great gesture — and a reminder that people are still inspired to work for something greater every day.

    Will you add your name to his card from OFA?

    Barack and I are always energized by the accomplishments of organizers around the country, and I know he’d love to hear from you on his birthday.

    Just thinking about the work you’re doing makes me nostalgic about when we first met.

    He had just finished a three-year stint as a community organizer on the South Side of Chicago, and I saw in him then the same sort of idealism that I see in organizers across our country today.

    We’re fighting for progress on a bigger scale now — this movement has organized and worked for reform on some of the most important issues we face, and we’ve seen results that are nothing short of remarkable.

    But Barack never forgets the work that he did back in Chicago. He’s said that his time spent organizing was the best education he’s ever received.

    You can add your name to OFA’s birthday card here:

    Hurry up, while there’s still room on the middle of the card!

  52. Fuck. They’re startin to serve my vodka martinis shaken, not stirred, without my asking.

    I’m a dead man.

  53. Try not to spill your martini while you serpentine

  54. Fack! I missed Obama’s birfday? The guilt is gonna haunt me

  55. Anyone try that root beer stuff yet? Supposed to be delish but I can’t find it anywhere

  56. I bought a 6 pack of Hard Root Beer last week and had one while I was at camp. It tasted just like a root beer soda. It was a bit pricey—almost $10 for a 6 pack. It was good but I can’t see drinking more than one every once in a while for a change up.

  57. Coney Island Beer is a Boston Beer label this article says:

  58. 💩 we have it at Sam’s and Dan and I were talking about buying a 6 pack. Sounds like Palm Breeze. Jimbro just saved us some money.

  59. Not your fathers root beer is the brand over here everyone is talking about.

  60. Car in, that’s what we have.

  61. I made little sandwiches with mozzarella, fresh romas from the garden, and turkey pepperoni.

  62. Now I have to go get 350# of crap from Tractor Supply out of the truck and feed the horses and chickens.


  63. Why not #351?

  64. Because I didn’t buy a bag of peanuts.

  65. As part of all of our procedures we do a time out where everyone stops and listens to the information. Correct patient, correct limb, right equipment and so on. One of the steps is for people to introduce themselves if they’re new in an effort to increase communication. There was an attractive scrub tech who is undergoing orientation and I asked her name. She told me and then let me know I had fixed both of her elbow fractures when she was a little girl. It was as if Father Time put his hand on my shoulder and said “Dude, you’re old”.

  66. Did anybody find an embarrassing commercial that anybody else did for some weird Japanese soft drink on YouTube today?

  67. Smokehouses are popping up all over the place around here. I don’t know what brought about this change, but I approve and the brisket was wonderful.

  68. One their website there is a link to Amazing Ribs.

  69. Unloaded truck. Dumped two bags of horse food in the bin. Fed chickens. Got eggs. Watered garden. Fed horses grain. Hauled salt block to horse pasture. Got hay down. Fed horses hay.


  70. Obviously the surge in smokehouses is due to the efforts of the Connecticut Brisket Research Council.

  71. We were late to the party.
    I don’t know what got it started.

  72. **Comment by Tushar on August 4, 2015 9:03 pm

    yankees fans – always looking for the correct place to insert their diction.

  73. My first ever brisket was at Michael’s house. I always thought brisket was some awful Jewish dish.

  74. It was as if Father Time put his hand on my shoulder and said “Dude, you’re old”.

    Father Time was busy today; I got tagged today myself. Dammit.

  75. Texan brisket kicks so much ass!

  76. MJ, I need you to make this and tell me if it’s terrible or awesome. Thanks, man.

  77. Father Time is a jackhole who has been playing idiotcic pranks on me. Asshole.

  78. Somebody needs to take that mo-fo down.

  79. Some day they will figure out how to stop aging.

    Things will get ugly fast.

  80. Not with the right skin creams.

  81. Iowa brisket is pretty damn good. Beef is better up here, anyway.

  82. I want to go on record as saying I’m not looking to live forever. Or even “fight” aging. I just want to feel good and hate being physically limited by something you don’t expect.

  83. New place open up, or did you get another smoker, scott?

  84. Comment by Cyn on August 4, 2015 10:29 pm
    Not with the right skin creams.


    Greatest comment ever!!!!!

    High fives Cyn, passes a glass of wine, saves some Blue Meth, and makes her favorite dinner.

  85. Uhhh….heh heh….huh heh…..she said “skim cream”.

  86. New smokehouse James, we’ll be back.

  87. * awards Cyn a free owl *

  88. Well, if you can’t have grills, people will need smokehouses.

  89. Oh, I see, the grill ban was a ploy by Big Smokehouse to force people into their restaurants!

  90. This smokehouse is in a town that probably has more condos than any other town in the state. They will cash in on that law.

  91. Finishing canning 28 pints of carrots. I’m set for stews and soups for the winter. We have more to do…

  92. My niece has been taking some pretty good shots of Houston while she is here. I am rather fascinated with the flyovers here. She took a shot of one on I-10 and the Beltway

    Not sure about instagram, I may need to edit this.

  93. yup sorry

  94. I wish I would have thought of Big Smokehouse.

  95. Texas has some cool interchanges. The huge one in Dallas, wow.

  96. Yes Jay
    But they can’t drive fast here to save their lives. Dallas otoh they haul ass.

  97. I guess I kilt it.

  98. RU kidding me?

    Dude, I learned how to drive on the freeways of Houston – I tell everyone it’s why other big cities’ traffic doesn’t faze me a bit….

  99. We have lost the time
    That was so hard to find
    And I will lose my mind
    If you won’t derp me

  100. “My first ever brisket was at Michael’s house. I always thought brisket was some awful Jewish dish.”

    Same here. The first time I ever had real barbecue was a party for my girlfriend at the time’s sister who had just joined a practice down in South Carolina. That was about ’92 or so. There are relatively few smokehouses or barbecue joints up here but the numbers slowly creep higher every year.

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