A Weekend Poat of Bad Baby Advice

That’s the baby’s feet you perverts.

 

Fireworks, like peanut butter, can be introduced at a young age to help to develop immunity and tolerance.

 

Your children will probably like the same things you do, encourage them to participate in your favorite activities and interests.

232 Comments

  1. Don’t baby-proof your house because scars are cool.

  2. Ditto on the PoL password, you guys should know by now I will automatically need any password discussed.

    Currently all my passwords are in a desk drawer in storage.

    Pups, glad no one was killed while selling off your furniture. Nessie is beautiful.

  3. You learn more from your mistakes than you do from success, so keep a detailed diary of everything your child does wrong, and review it with your child in power-point form at every birthday celebration.

  4. Every buyer that we have met from Craigslist have just been normal folks like us, we’ve had some creepy text and phone exchanges but the in-person stuff has been OK.

  5. Wakey wakey

  6. My advice? Babies are so cute keep having them until you fill up a minivan.

  7. Encourage your child to explore both genders. It’s almost a hate crime to allow Cordelia to play with dolls until she knows she doesn’t want to be a boy.

  8. Carin or Pups can you email me the PoL password?

  9. Mare – they keep such things from me. I just opened up the media folder and there it was.

  10. Plan Cordelia’s life out now and DO NOT let her deviate from that path. She’ll appreciate how much planning went into her future.

  11. Oh, I’ll give that a try.

  12. Nope. Booooooooo

  13. 1)sign into your wordpress account
    2) click media folder
    3) PROFIT!

  14. I think this is sound advice:

    http://tinyurl.com/o79r3rw

  15. Profit indeed!

    Cordelia is beautiful and she has the stop hand like Nessie. Good she’s got that down early on.

  16. THE PASSWORD IS PASSWORD.

  17. MJ, where have you been, little one?

  18. “THE PASSWORD IS PASSWORD.”

    The plot deepens.

  19. Was Clint the one who really liked Hell on Wheels? I started watching that last night and really liked it.

  20. My mother posted STRAIGHT UP commie shit on facedouche.

    @@

    Not “this looks like communism”. It was actually FROM A COMMIE SITE.

  21. Carin, wasn’t your Mom a hippie while you were growing up? Or was she a debutante who became a hippie, or something like that?

  22. My mom is from upstate New York and they’re all liberals. Growing up she was very hippish.

    but her sway into communism drives me NUTS. It is so hypocritical.

  23. I honestly didn’t think anyone considered communism a viable option anymore, because it isn’t.

  24. A lot of folks want to give communism another chance with other people’s money, and them in charge.

  25. Mare – it’s just crazy. I *hope* she’s just sharing something she didn’t really read. But she backs Bernie Sanders so … I don’t know. Perhaps things just aren’t firing right in her head.

  26. Let Cordelia start dating or hooking up or whatever they’ll call it by then at age 12. Twelve year old girls are very good decision makers. Don’t worry if the guys are older, that’s just part of it. I’d draw the line at Wiserbud though.

  27. Cordiella needs a selfie-stick. And a full-length mirror. And some bootie shorts.

  28. If Cordelia doesn’t get a smart phone for Christmas, this coming Christmas, I’m calling CPS on your ass.

  29. Omg. I think I have to unfriend my mother. EVERYTHING she posts is basically wrong.

  30. Facebook is wrong.

    Unfriend everyone and delete your account, it’s the only way.

  31. Scott – you can say it’s facebook – but MY MOM IS STILL THINKING THIS SHIT.

    I mean deleting it just means I can live in blissful ignorance of it all.

  32. I mean deleting it just means I can live in blissful ignorance of it all.

    —–

    That’s my facedick policy.

  33. My mom subscribes to Mother Jones.

  34. That’s exactly why I wear clothes.

  35. She voted for Reagan twice.

    Maybe it’s natural to turn commie as you get older.

  36. It’s a Metallica kind of morning.

  37. No – my mom has always thought communism was ideal@@. It’s sad she never got any more fukin knowledge. Especially with all the real-time examples occurring all around the world.

    I mean SHIT. Open a effen (real) newspaper.

  38. Comment by pendejogrande on July 25, 2015 10:16 am
    That’s exactly why I wear clothes.

    —-

    hahaha

  39. Whenever I meet communism enthusiasts, this is what I say:

    Communism is a system where 1 or 2% people live a life of luxury and freedom while advocating and imposing austerity and restrictions on the other 98%. I have yet to meet a communism fetishist who wants to be the part of the proletariat rather than the ruling class. What would you want to belong to?

    They generally change the subject.

  40. My mother doesn’t let me reply to her facedouche posts – Tushar. So in my passive aggressive manner – I repost her shit on my wall and comment there.

    The stuff she’s posted the last few days – it’s simply TOO stupid. I’m gonna quote you if you don’t mind.

  41. My kids left the TV on some Harry Potter movie and then wandered off to play video games upstairs. I grabbed the remote looking for anything else as background noise and discovered the Tour de France is still going on. They’re climbing l’Alpe d’Huez which is French for Huey’s Alp or big fucking mountain, one or the other.

  42. I used to watch it when Lance was breaking records, haven’t watched it in a while. My ex-wife was an avid cyclist and did amateur racing when she was younger.

  43. MJ used to bike a lot. Back in the days he hung with us.

    BGND.

    (before GND)

  44. It’s like he forgot about us or moved on to a new blog.

  45. My mom thankfully doesn’t talk about politics. She has facedouche but mainly to keep up with her kids and grandkids. For me she has to read Paula’s account since I don’t have one.

  46. I mean deleting it just means I can live in blissful ignorance of it all.

    http://is.gd/5NOed3

  47. These pictures remind me of the shot Chrisp posted of him and Anita on a motorcycle which was a fantastic photo:

    http://is.gd/jcqhrC

  48. Sleeping baby on left arm.

    Communism is how you sell feudalism to people soured on the word but not the idea.

  49. Ohhhhhhhh, sleeping baby in arms……bliss.

  50. I’m so, so happy for you, Leon.

    How’s Momma doing?

  51. Pellets were $225 per ton last year, $325 per ton this year.

  52. While watching the Tour de France briefly I learned this is a thing:

    http://www.sportbeans.com/

  53. Quote away, Carin

  54. How many tons do you consumed last winter, Scott?

  55. Leon is a father!!

    Leon is a father!!

  56. In dollar terms, even at 325, you are likely to do better than heating oil but worse that NatGas

  57. Last year was 6 tons.

  58. A normal winter is closer to 4 tons.

  59. That’s a huge jump, Scott. I understand supply and demand but I’m suspect that the administration put some kind of regulation on the pellets, you know, to eff over the middle class as is their want.

  60. wont

    /HS

  61. Momma is good but tired. I think she’s either taking a nap or about to. Her milk production so far has been excellent, but baby is still getting the hang of taking it from the tap. She did really well at about 4 a.m. so we might be okay there.

  62. If this winter is not brutal, you will end up spending in the same 1200-1300 ballpark

  63. I guess multifuel furnaces is the way to go, if such a thing exists.

  64. sweaters and long johns are still cheep

  65. Shut it, Chumpo, you SoCal faggit. The only cold you have experienced is when you open the fridge.

  66. Your mom is still cheep.

  67. A godparent, in the traditional catholic definition, is someone who vows to raise their godchild as a catholic, should the real parents perish or become incapacitated.

    Considering the current asshole pontiff, and the majority of priests who are dickheads, child molesters, or queers, I’m not volunteering for the job.

    Sorry, Leon.

  68. Something ate one of our strawberry plants.

    Something needs to die.

  69. Shouldn’t you choose a person younger than you as a godfather for your child, instead of an older person?

  70. That’s not true, Tushard. I once caught a cold. and member that onetime last January? It was too cold for flip flops and I broke my 10000 day stretch.

    Wake up and smell the coco butter.

  71. Wow, it’s expensive to stay warm on the east coast.

  72. Can I be Bay bay’s Rumparent?

  73. Of course. They told us to take it and let the dog sniff it.

    That was nice of them. They probably charged you a grand for it.
    I birthed my son in MI. William-Beaumont. They said I couldn’t take any of the baby wrappery. I really like the heavier duty flannel.

    Though, they dressed my son in a wife-beater and wrapped him in a small piece of sheet. His furnace runs on high. He hasn’t changed.

  74. you can say it’s facebook – but MY MOM IS STILL THINKING THIS SHIT.

    My parents too.

    This is why, along with their verbal attacks, we don’t speak.

  75. I haven’t spoke to my parents since they died.

    But seriously, folks…

  76. Hey Jay, what did the hungry Buddhist say to the Vegetarian Soy-Dog vendor?

  77. “Make me one with everything.”

  78. is this thing even on?

  79. Hey, lawrah, what does the nosey per per want to do?

  80. Get Jalapeño business.

  81. k I’m going to the library to check out some chix.

    Hasta Lo Bye Bye

  82. http://is.gd/AlCrRt

  83. http://is.gd/bg73QE

  84. First Chumpo killed his parents, then he killed the poat!

  85. http://is.gd/emLBWg

  86. More sound advice:

    http://tinyurl.com/qhz4tap

  87. I heard that Scott somewhere, probably on Fox. This POS agreement guarantees they get a bomb. Somewhere Valerie Jarrett is smiling.

  88. Shouldn’t Obama be on vacation?

  89. MJ, where have you been, little one?
    ————————
    I’ve been busy with moving GND here, getting other things moved, and moving things around.

  90. Certainly not a maximum security girls prison.

  91. What have you been up to?

  92. Currently smoking ribs and a whole chicken on the PIT BARREL COOKER!

    Oh, status update. It got here. But I never did get confirmation. Things are gonna change around here.

  93. Does anyone know if you can use white hibiscus flowers to make tea?

  94. Bacon wrapped chicken boobs is going to be a new staple around here.

  95. Sausage pr0n for laura:

    http://frombellytobacon.com/2012/05/09/nduja/

  96. 2 hours for stupid easy chicken. Cut a whole one in half ($.94 a pound), put rub on, hang it.

    Juicy, and good. I used their rub, but mine would kick it up. Less than about 24 inches of space, and you’d be shocked how much you can hang in there. I have 3 racks of ribs in it too, and I’m not even close to filling it.

    This is really easy to use, too. No babysitting.

  97. Jay, what temperature does it cook at?

  98. Plus the president of the company is an Iraq/Afghanistan vet, and former Blackwater contractor.

  99. Now that mini-Caruthers has been born, we need a new Babywatch to keep everyone entertained. Who is up next in the queue?

  100. Has your mom gone through “the change” yet?

  101. This one leveled off at 260. I have smoke coming out of the lid,though. Not sure that’s right.

  102. That makes sense, I thought I read 300 -325 somewhere.

  103. Comment by MJ on July 25, 2015 3:19 pm
    What have you been up to?

    ——-

    Waiting for Leon’s baby, looking for a place to live, working out in the mornings, chores ofter that and part of the time hanging with my oldest daughter.

  104. My husband is going to want a pit barrel cooker.

  105. I am in no way “looking” for followers on twitter…I have about 10. But it makes me laugh, the longer I go without tweeting the more followers I get. I think the message is clear.

  106. A lot of folks want to give communism another chance with other people’s money, and them in charge.

    So right, puppeh. And people like TFG and John Kerry (who served in Viet Nam — Hero of the Rice Paddies Rice Storage Huts) think that if only THEY talked to dictators they can get them to change their ways.

  107. Comment by pendejogrande on July 25, 2015 5:06 pm

    Has your mom gone through “the change” yet?

    Hysterectomy years ago.

  108. Personally, I think we should all pressure MJ to hurry up and get GND preggers.

  109. If someone you know starts telling you how amazing Kerry and Obama are for getting this deal done, please, I beg of you, taze them in the nuts or uterus long enough to ensure there will be no children from these morons.

  110. Iran got billions back for a promise not to nuke anyone until 2017.

  111. think that if only THEY talked to dictators they can get them to change their ways.

    —–

    hahahaah, yes, and Obama goes even farther and thinks the force of his personality, of which I have yet to see one, will (for example) ensure peace in the Middle East and procure Olympics for cities that have sponsored him.

    *for laughs I’m going to watch that video of the idiots in Chicago when they were eliminated from Olympic selection.

  112. I have to believe that the evil hag, Jarrett was behind this nonsense. Obama wouldn’t know where Iran is on a map.

  113. *for laughs I’m going to watch that video of the idiots in Chicago when they were eliminated from Olympic selection.

    I have been thinking about that video a lot lately. Boston is trying for 2024 and it’s been a big boondoggle so far.

  114. I’m gonna leave this here for XBrad.

    http://thebollard.com/2015/06/30/m-i-a-on-the-a-t/

    It’s written by a lefty site and it is definitely tinfoil hat material but it does a good job telling the story. If you can get past the writer’s horror that we do SERE training for our military it raises a good point: nowhere in the coverage of this story is it mentioned that her disappearance was near a military training site (which I’ve never heard of before despite living here since ’99).

  115. Just what they need, another Big DIg.

  116. http://is.gd/tcxYPk

    Chicago…is out?

  117. Big Dig is all I can think of when I watch coverage of their bid on NECN

  118. Mare, Jarrett’s hands are all over this. He’s so weirdly dependent on her. A convenient part of that has got to be because she does the work that he’s too lazy to want to do.

    And her family’s Muslim Brotherhood connections — cripes.

  119. Leon, she’s beautiful! Hi little sweetie-pie!

  120. Good day, neglectful monsters.

  121. 2 weeks until the start of football.

    The long nightmare is finally over.

  122. My folks came to visit her today and we hung out for a few hours.

    Then I slept for 60 whole minutes. Time to set an alarm for 830pm and try that again.

  123. Jimbro, yes, there’s a SERE school there. But it isn’t a full time installation. That is, most of the time, there is literally no one there.

  124. Yeah, that’s what THEY want you to think.

  125. WooHoo! 17% humidity.

  126. Jimbro, the whining tears in that video taste sweet. Mighty sweet.

  127. Glad the cooker worked for you J’Ames. They really seem to have it dialed in.

  128. Yeah pepe, that one is pretty easy to use.

    The ribs were fantastic. I double hooked them, but I didn’t have to. I’m “hooked” on this method.

  129. I’m in San Antonio to spend a wknd w oldest daughter who is doing an internship for her OT cert. Mama and daughter want to do movies this afternoon and I dont. So a little googling alerts me that there’s an SR-71 blackbird parked at Lackland AFB and I’m 8 miles from taking a major hit off my hitlist. Turns out you can’t get on base unless you’re military. I told them that I shared a blog w xbrad and Mcpo but that didn’t get me onto the base. Thanks a lot.

  130. Fuckers.

  131. Why didn’t you say you knew mare?

  132. I didn’t want to pull rank that badly. I’m saving mare for something really big…..like Yellowstone.

  133. I have an expired spousal ID card that gets me a discount at Lowe’s and Home Depot. Tried to get it renewed a few weeks ago but the system went down right before I got to the office. I’m sure they blamed the contractor.

  134. Wow, J’Ames, 3 racks and a chicken. I’d be in a meat coma. They look great.

  135. Rib pictures making me jelly.

  136. Leftovers!!!!!

  137. Holiday Inn Express, pendejo. They’da let you sit in the cockpit.

  138. If the pictures make you jelly, I’m not even gonna say how great they tasted. 200 degrees, so tender.

    Mop on some BBQ sauce, cook it some more.

  139. Brisket next weekend. I was informed by Mrs. Jay.

  140. Your retail hell update. We repaved our parking lot last month. Sales were way down. Payroll has been cut to the bone. Skeleton crews. Hours cut back. Thanks to call outs and no-shows, I’m still unaffected. Today, I had to cashier, receive a produce truck, work in clothing, and load furniture. Yesterday, I had to remerchandise the Halloween costumes, because they looked like crap. On Saturdays, I do signing. Eggs went up 50 cents and chicken is starting to go up too. Cheaper to buy bacon this Summer. Totes opposite from last year.

  141. Busy day at Sams today. everyone loves Saturday.

  142. Brisket next weekend. I was informed by Mrs. Jay.

    HOW MUCH ARE THEY PAYING YOU, YOU SMOKER WHORE?

    I know they already got to Pepe.

    Anyway, let us know how the brisket comes out. We’re due for another one too.

  143. No they don’t.

  144. I find it hard to believe I am saying this, after 3 weeks of 98-99 degree weather, taking the dogs out at 7pm I found 90 degrees to be not so bad.

  145. Name that horse:

    http://is.gd/vuXw11

  146. Comment by osoloco11
    Today, I had to …………….. work in clothing,
    ===========
    Hmmm, I know it’s summer, but evidently Sam’s has a very casual dress code.

  147. Oso sells more books naked.

  148. Hahaha We are weird. Not Softlines. Clothing. I just want to work in shorts and sandals. Stupid Watermelon rules. Thermostat set in Bentonville. AC only on during hours of operation. I H8 AlGore!!!!

  149. Those ribs look so delicious, I can almost taste them.

    Time to throw something in the microwave, I guess. *roots around in freezer*

    (I sent the smoker info to some friends in hopes that they’ll get one and invite me over.)

  150. My CiL owns firework stands and a combined stand/warehouse. Woman went airborne in her SUV into the combo location. Firemen had to spray the warehouse so it wouldn’t blowup. Cops breathalyzed. No blood check. Previous DWI. Driving on suspended license. Charged with “Distracted Driving”. I H8 cops. Their fallback is always about insurance.

  151. Did anybody tell anybody else that even if there was such a thing as duty-free heroin, they wouldn’t be bringing any back from their vacation today?

  152. Hi Osita! Missed you.

    How’s your health?

  153. When I get drunk I give massages to everyone I can reach. When they ask me for happy endings, I’m too drunk to catch on. 100%.

  154. Anita just finished painting the house. The east side was the last. She got it done while I was putting the chicken in the oven for dinner. I am amazed at that woman.
    She is awesome…

  155. Dear god, finish with the raffle and get back to the topless dancers…

  156. We sure are quiet tonight.

  157. You are an awesome couple.

  158. She sounds like a keeper, Chrispy.

  159. I want to go where CoLex is.

  160. Jay, I’m at a burlesque show downtown. Girls too chubby for stripping. Some of them are cute.

  161. Dear God, please prolong the raffle to save my friend CoLex from eternal torment in a lake of hellfire.

    You’re welcome.

  162. Sean, I’m a pervert with a vicious streak. I’m already condemned to hell.

    The bar is packed with lesbians. Apparently this is their thing.

  163. Colex,
    I was walking the boys last night when I saw a very butch silver hair fireplug who could kick my ass, walking into her apartment. The blinds were open and I was surprised to see a HD Fatboy in her living room. I am impressed. A few days ago I spoke with a guy who was in the process of driving his bobber up the stairs to his second floor apartment.
    I need to get a bike.

  164. Vmax, that is awesome. I need to learn to ride a motorcycle.

  165. Alex,
    I am looking for a new Vmax they sure are sweet, but I still like the Warrior and well anything else, my list is a mile long.

  166. Ugh. The bar assistant manager would be really cute, except she covered her body in awful tattoos and bizarre piercings. Damn shame…

  167. I’d forgotten how much I liked this song.

  168. They got steel.
    So cool to get angry at the weekend
    And go back to school.
    So big deal; it’s what rules.
    When it comes to making money,
    Say yes, derp; thank you.

  169. Comment by Pupster on July 25, 2015 10:36 pm
    Name that horse:
    http://is.gd/vuXw11

    —-

    You better be talking about John Kerry.

  170. I forgot to mail this to Leon last week:

    http://tinyurl.com/pzhcyxo

  171. The movie was better.

  172. http://is.gd/TwnUt0

  173. Heh.

  174. I could’ve used one of these back in my radio days, now I just want one:

    http://is.gd/RP6QRV

  175. http://is.gd/GIGkBK

  176. wakey wakey 2

  177. Carin kilt it

  178. Good Morning!

  179. I hope that the Caruthers’ have woken up the baby so she learns right off the bat to conform to their schedule.

  180. and Obama goes even farther and thinks the force of his personality, of which I have yet to see one, will (for example) ensure peace in the Middle East and procure Olympics for cities that have sponsored him.

    No, he really wants Israel wiped off the map, as do the other commies in his party. I don’t think he would mind the US getting hit either…if not hit, then put in it’s place and too paralyzed to do anything about it…or China*…or Russia*.

    And if we were to get hit, I’m sure Valerie would get a head’s up and warn him where it would be.

    *remember the FBI dude who infiltrated Bill Ayer’s little club and they talked about splitting the US between our enemies and exterminating those people who refused to be re-educated? Remember how Bill Ayers said he regretted not doing enough back then? Who’s his buddy, who’s his pal, today?

  181. I hope that the Caruthers’ have woken up the baby so she learns right off the bat to conform to their schedule.

    http://is.gd/GCIQop

  182. Hey Scott, you ever take Dorkus to the secret lake?

    http://is.gd/GCekxY

  183. Biden is going to be president.

  184. Ribs are just as good day 2.

  185. Meh. Pulled a muscle in my back, lower left side. Looks like the box moving is done for today .

  186. Ice ice baby Pupster. And get some of that Marijuana lotion.

  187. Went to look at another {cheap} jetski today. We got one (I may have told you guys) a month or so back. This one run well but looked ROUGH. We passed.

    I think I’ve got the sink working. A week later.

    Also replaced two screen door screens. I don’t know how Zelda is going to deal with that. She’s used to putting her head in the “hole” and opening it whenever she wants to go out.

    @@

    *sniffs baby-Leon’s head

    STILL HAS THE NEW SMELL

  188. Mrs. Pupster noticed some broken veins on my back where it hurts, never had that happen before. Strain, maybe?

  189. That’s strange.

  190. Jet skis are a lot of fun, plus they will annoy the hell out of your neighbors.

    win / win

  191. They are fun. We have one – but think TWO would be twice as fun – amiright?

    but being cheap – we’re basically waiting until we can rape someone of their machine.

    My neighbors have STILL not moved in. They aren’t even here THAT much. I don’t know what the deal is.

  192. And get some of that Marijuana lotion.

    I’ve got to be able to pass a drug test, you monster.

  193. Wait until it gets cold, jet skis go on sale half price. Campers too.

    http://is.gd/ftYyVD

  194. Oops. Sorry.

    I’ve heard that it doesn’t go into your bloodstream though.

    Yea we’ll probably pick one up in the fall.

  195. Jet skis are bullshit. I hate them.

  196. http://is.gd/FkImWO

  197. hahahaah

    Pups, that’s got to be in my top 10 gifs.

  198. I hated them too Hotspur.

    Until we got one.

    I guess it was jealousy?

  199. I think Jet Skis are a lot of fun, except when I’m not on them, then I hate them and they annoy me.

  200. Does anyone have a recipe for blackened chicken that doesn’t fill the house with smoke and set off the smoke detectors? The Pupster’s have decided blackened is their favorite type of chicken, I sear it on a hot cast iron skillet then bake, but DAMN IT MAKES THE HOUSE SMOKEY.

    I’m going to get one of those single burner electric stoves and do it outside I think.

  201. Yea no I get it. And I’m always afraid the driver is an asshole who is going to hit me when I’m swimming.

    But they are fun and it’s a private lake.

  202. I’m going to get one of those single burner electric stoves and do it outside I think.

    ——

    That or a butane burner are great to cook bacon too.

  203. got a grill, pupster? Put the cast iron pan on that, get it hot, Then all the smoke is outside.

  204. The summer I graduated from HS I was employed renting jet skis. I watched bikini’s all day and rode jet skis. I was pretty good at doing tricks on them by the fall.

  205. Vman’s avatar is different. A very handsome dog.

  206. I hope that the Caruthers’ have woken up the baby so she learns right off the bat to conform to their schedule.

    Mrs. Caruthers has started waking her up to eat to take the pressure off her breast tissue. The milk must flow.

    CoAlex, even if you never buy a bike, the motorcycle class is really fun. Take one of the long ones if you can. If you’ve never ridden, more time to acquire skills is better. I ended up taking it twice myself, but I’d only ridden bicycles before the class. There were 3 of us that hadn’t ridden prior, and we all failed. Might even want to register for multiple sessions and then drop out of the later ones if you pass.

  207. I hate jet skis, even when I’m on them. Give me my canoe any day.

    Car in, when are you coming to get your morel spawn/sniff the baby?

  208. got a grill, pupster?

    Sold it on craigslist. Miss it badly.

  209. Biden will be president for the first 8 years of lil’ leon’s life.

  210. Biden will be president for the first 8 years of lil’ leon’s life.

    http://is.gd/L_to_R_MJ_Pupster

    Hey MJ, can you do bewbs in August? I got this week, can you do the next 4 or 5?

  211. Pupster, did you read the comments on that cross fit gif? They’re pretty good.

  212. That gif killed me! I even got Dan laughing at the cabinet kitteh.

  213. When MJ says Biden is going to be President (which I completely understand as a possibility) it makes me want to do this:

    http://tinyurl.com/qbjjyxl

    And I have NO idea what that even means.

  214. I bought a butane/propane gas burner a few months ago.

    It’s perfect for stuff like that.

  215. I think Jet Skis are a lot of fun, except when I’m not on them, then I hate them and they annoy me.

    That sounds exactly like my opinion of your mom.

  216. This is a local restaurant called Max and Erma’s:

    http://www.maxandermas.com/menu/

    They have a new burger, (Tony’s Bodacious Bacon Cheese Burger) that has something called “bacon marmalade”, which just might be the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I don’t really care for the garlic creamy cheese on the thing, but the sweet / bacon-y spread is gawdamn delicious.

  217. Wheels up in 12 hours.

    I’m packed and ready to go.

    Wiserbride, who has been breaking my balls for a month re: prepping, has yet to finish packing.

    Hello, Schmirnoff……

  218. Oh yeah, btw, someone else needs to take care of Mare’s Musings for a couple of weeks….

  219. If Mare were a guy http://is.gd/lxLWq3

  220. hahahahahaha….Scott, I’m praying you mean the sheriff guy narrating the video. I’m assuming the tall burglar with the “lanky” walk is you.

    Also, whose turn is it to kick Colorado Alex’s ass? Because I will volunteer.

  221. Wiser, I wish you such an awesome vacation that all else seems contrived, lame, and unworthy of your energy (that’s what great vacations are for).

  222. Haha, sci fi channel has Lavalantula, lava breathing spiders from a volcano. Followed by Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No.

    My viewing is set.

  223. Scott, I watched that whole video and in fact, male or female, that is me…hahhahahahahaha

  224. Can’t wait to show my husband.

  225. He’s awesome. He reminds me of MCPO http://is.gd/K2kIfR

  226. MCPO…hahahahaha….laughter is good medicine.

  227. Lt. Higgens may be the greatest American I’ve never met.

  228. My husband completely agrees!! And laughed heartily.


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