Manly stuff

111 Comments

  1. Beasn, maybe it’s Leon’s zombie possum coming for you.

  2. Upvote!

    http://is.gd/6VI6fm

  3. Penelope just put a huge chunk of pork in our new Pit Barrel Cooker. Hopefully it will turn out as good as the ribs.

  4. I took Mini-me to a birthday party. 3 pizzas for 20 people. Apparently that works if the pizza is not too good.

    Also, whoever turned “Wipeout” into a rap song should be flogged.

  5. 3 huge pizzas maybe. I just read this article but it’s from last year:

    http://is.gd/i6vsrh

  6. Just saw Ant Man – really fun movie! Great for all ages, and not your run of the mill Superhero flick at all.

  7. Leon, save the nails and make a mace out of a baseball bat.

    As much as I like the idea, most of the nails are about 1.5″. You need the 3″ ones to make a good tetanus mace.

    Which I totally didn’t already do after the first zombie attack, and positively does not already hang on it’s own peg in the barn under a small engraved plaque (“Here Hangs Tetanus”), and I absolutely never brought home holy water to bless it/rust the nails with.

    Back from Confession and it’s not raining yet. Time to pull apart more pallets.

  8. Tetanus killed it. Time for Mass.

  9. A typical week for the hostages

    http://is.gd/k5oiKt

  10. Double milkshakes under glass is my favorite in that series.

  11. Good evening, necks of dick.

  12. Early dark here, T-storm might finally happen.

  13. My hair is getting long enough for a stubby ponytail.

    I texted my daughter that I bought some ponytail holders and was wearing one RIGHT NOW!

    She texts back, ‘THAT’S CRAZY!! YOU’RE A WHITE-HAIRED GODDESS!’

    Made me chuckle. She’s a goof.

  14. Pepe, zombie voles. We dispatched 6 of them.

  15. I saw Stubby Ponytail open for Linda Ronstadt at the Troubadour in ’84.

  16. If you ever wondered how Tushar would sound if he runs afoul of the law…..

    http://is.gd/KeTBwW

  17. HAHAHA…Tushar!

  18. Meth is a Naraka of a drug, Tush.

  19. Sean, nice!

  20. Work was ded

  21. Man, I remember in the old days when I would have had to search my Encyclopedia Britannica to see if I could find the Hindu version of hell and, failing that, hop in the car and drive to the library, look through the card catalog, and hope that there was a book on the world’s religions that was on the shelf that would have the info I needed; then drive back home and wait several years for meth to become a problem that people were aware of and several more years before I met Tushar so that I could make that joke.

    Still, in many ways it was a simpler time.

  22. Here’s a NO vote for the miniaturized fedoras. Now a Panama hat can look verrry nice.

    And regarding women wondering why their live-in boyfriend won’t marry them, why should he? He’s got all the benefits and none of the obligations. Silly girls, if that’s what they want. They’re negotiating like Obama with the Iranians. “Let me give you everything you want and care about upfront and now can we start talking about what I want? Please? You’ll start thinking about it a year or two? Well, I’m not happy with that but all my stuff’s here.”

    *grumble grumble*

  23. Heh.

    Where ya been Lipstick?

  24. I was just wondering the other day when someone is going to make a stink about Dixie Cups.

  25. Dixie Cups logo looks like a Confederate flag, with that x and all the colors.

  26. Scott, experiment #2 in the pit barrel cooker. Penelope started a shoulder/boston butt around noon. Hit a major stall, but after 8 hours, it came out great. tender and juicy with a good smoke ring (much like your mom). Really liking the PBC. A friend got one and did St. Louis ribs today. They came out great for him too.

  27. An ‘undecided’ man (some of them, unaccountably, think that there is a supermodel nymphomaniac waiting for them just around the next corner) will absolutely let a perfectly suitable and loving woman stay with him, and use up all her youth, beauty, and body, until she is too old to find someone else good to have a family with, and then turn her out. And when that happens to her, it is her own damn spineless fault for never closing the deal.

    Girlfriends have to help the younger set on this matter. I saved one. Turned her mind around to the kernel of the matter in a day, when I heard the situation. This piece of shit had the best of her for two years, was never there for her when she needed him, and never even introduced her to his family.

    Took her a few months after that to get her stuff really in order, but she left that bullshit artist and now has a *real* husband, and a baby. It’s a family now, one like she never had growing up, and her heart’s deepest wish come true.

    I’m just saying. Older ladies, give counsel. You never know who is listening.

  28. Hey Scott, haven’t felt like socializing much. My father died suddenly and there’s the shock and everything.

    He was a very, very cool guy. Marine, in civilian life lived in Turkey and couriered film from the U2 flights, curious and interested in everything, loved to travel, kind and generous.

    Don’t want to bring the mood down, which is why I didn’t say anything but hey, what the hell.

  29. That’s great Pepe. You can eliminate the stall if you want by crutching.

    It saves some moisture, but it wrecks the bark (which I don’t understand).

  30. Did anybody ask anybody else to stop fighting to defend their honor since they hadn’t won even once today?

  31. I am sorry for your loss.

  32. Screw the mood. We’re friends here.

  33. (((hugs Lippy)))

    ((for just a little too long))

  34. Sorry for your loss, Lipstick.

  35. *whacks xbrad with a heavy branch until he grudgingly lets go of Lippy*

    This pinata is not doing it right

    *continues hitting him with the branch*

  36. Another thing: his sense of humor. A friend said, regarding the funeral, “I could barely look at him because I expected him to sit up and crack a joke”.

    TMI? XBrad is giving me TMG* — get your hand off of there!

    *Too Much Grope

  37. Sorry for your loss, Lippy.

  38. My dad died 11 years ago Lips. I still miss him and offer my best to you.

  39. I’m so sorry Lips. You were lucky to have such a man as your father.

  40. Sorry to hear about your dad, Lippy. It sounds like he was a great guy.

  41. Thank you all

  42. I stepped all over this:

    I’m just saying. Older ladies, give counsel. You never know who is listening.

    Well done Lauraw, you changed a life.

  43. Sorry for your loss, Lipstick. I always enjoy your travel stories with him and your sister. And I second Scot, mood be damned.

  44. We missed you Lips! Love to yer Pa.

    Stay thirsty, my friend.

  45. Everybody wishes you’d gone
    But I’ve got no time to find it
    And the dealer with the jingly song will never
    Match my derp reduction

  46. Comment by Sean M. on July 18, 2015 10:00 pm
    Man, I remember in the old days when I would have had to search my Encyclopedia Britannica to see if I could find the Hindu version of hell and, failing that, hop in the car and drive to the library, look through the card catalog, and hope that there was a book on the world’s religions that was on the shelf that would have the info I needed; then drive back home and wait several years for meth to become a problem that people were aware of and several more years before I met Tushar so that I could make that joke.
    Still, in many ways it was a simpler time.

    seanm=Stephen Wright?

  47. Morning.

  48. Yo Jew. Do you work on Sundays or did you just get up to take a piss and can’t go back to sleep?

  49. I drank a beer last night called “Flying Dog Raging Bitch”. It was fucking horrible. I don’t know why I might have thought otherwise.

  50. I had one of their beers a while ago. Forgettable.

    http://flyingdogbrewery.com/beers/

  51. Lippy, so sorry about your dad.

  52. I work Sundays. I work 11 days a week and have three off.

  53. Today is Rocketboy’s birthday. Baby Leonetta should pick today to appear.

  54. Does Rocketboy get lots of good stuff today?

  55. Rocketboy gets a new bike (he lost his scholarship, so he doesn’t get a car at school), some new shirts including a Pink Floyd and an AC/DC t-shirt, a chicken schnitzel dinner, and a pecan pie.

    He says he can get the scholarship back if his grades come up, and he’s right on the edge. He needs 3.25 GPA, and he has 3.17.

  56. We talked about this, didn’t we? I thought it was settled.

    The baby’s name will be Laura Carina Romacita Tigerchica Osoloco Maria de Habichuelas y arroz Jones.

    I’m done correcting you people about this. Get your shit together.

  57. Time to get ready for work. Have a great day, Hostages.

  58. Wakey wakey

  59. Lauraw’s name sounds good.

  60. No baby appearance today, unless it’s a short labor.

    Why does my daughter need “and rice” in her name?

  61. Don’t you make him that every year for his bday?

  62. Is she went into labor right now she could still put in 15 hours and have it done today.

    Labor length : 15 hrs, 5 hrs, 0, 6 hrs, and 30 minutes.

  63. *slowly gets around*

  64. *tries to “get shit together”*

    *fails*

    *says phuqqit*

  65. I know the first one will be long, but she hasn’t even had a serious contraction today. I’m nervous she’s going to start in the middle of the night.

  66. Lipstick, sorry about your Dad, he sounds grand. I had a Dad like that too.

  67. Some old obstetrician worked the saying “Time and tides wait for no man” into an association with babies being born but I’ll be damned if I can remember it.

  68. What mare et al have said Lippy. My dad is alive but has been lost to dementia for a few years. My mind is full of good memories of how he raised me right.

  69. Sympathies, Lippy.

  70. Oh- she’s going to start in the middle of the night. In my own scientific research 3 started at night.

  71. And Lauraw – I totally agree with you on your rant about telling young women they’re being played for dupes.

    If he doesn’t want to marry you – there’s a part of him afraid of commitment. That is rejecting the “i’m going to build my life with this person”. That person eventually turns into the “You know – that chick over there is HAWT – maybe it’s not meant to be with my girlfriend or why would I have these feelings?”

    I will keep working on my friend. SHe’s SO in love with him she’ll put up with it for now but I keep telling her to set deadlines.

  72. http://heyjackass.com/

    check that out. Good source of info.

  73. Sorry about your dad, lips.

    So the reception after the memorial service was going well yesterday. I got roped into bar tending again, but some ladies from the church volunteered to take care of everything else.

    Things we going along smoothly until we started hearing some bloodcurdling screams. I mean, pure terror-stricken shrieks.

    I think you all know what was happening. I mean, doesn’t every post-funeral reception include a raccoon attack?

  74. Afterwards, back at the in-laws, MiL, wiser son and I were sitting with FiL’s life-long friend, who had flown in from CA for the service. He was extremely inebriated.

    He and I had been bantering all day. While sitting at the dining room table, he told me that wiserbride should never had married me. I laughed and said that he had his opportunity to say something during the wedding ceremony, so his advice his too late now.

    He laughed and picked a spoon, as if to throw it at me.

    MiL told him to put the spoon down. So he dropped it on the floor. MiL then told him to pick it up and go wash it. He says “okay, and then I’ll go home.”

    We laughed. Until he got done washing the spoon and walked out of the house.

    MiL goes to the door just as he’s getting into his car. She says “oh, come back in here.”

    He says “Fuck off.” And drives away.

    I have no idea what happened to him after that.

  75. Some people get really weird when they drink.

  76. It was definitely a conversation stopper

  77. No baby appearance today, unless it’s a short labor.

    My first labor was six hours. (not counting pushing)

  78. Wiser, that was rather rude of the drunk. Did he know you well back in the day to say such a thing now?

  79. Babywatch 2015.

    We need a helicopter and on-the-scene news babes.

  80. Comment by car in on July 19, 2015 11:25 am

    Some people get really weird when they drink.

    Definitely. That raccoon should have been cut off much earlier.

  81. Stoopid raccoon.

  82. Oh- she’s going to start in the middle of the night. In my own scientific research 3 started at night.

    My first one started ten in the morning. I didn’t get to eat breakfast.

    Second one, one in the morning. All cleaned up and ready for breakfast by 8:30am. The smell of it made we want to gak. I ate a cracker.

  83. Never bring a spoon to a fork fight.

  84. Wiser, IIRC you’ve been married 25 years. That should be celebrated in this day and age, not subject to stoopid remarks by drunks. Good response in “you had your chance”.

  85. Happy Birthday, Rocketboy.
    Condolences, Wiser.

  86. >>>>
    Wiser, that was rather rude of the drunk. Did he know you well back in the day to say such a thing now?

    I’ve known the guy for as long as I’ve known my wife. We were just playing around, but it never saw him act like that. It escalated quickly, to say the least.

  87. 95 and humid.

    Lake!

  88. “Never bring a spoon to a fork fight.”

    that’s why the spork was invented

    http://tinyurl.com/p7hsosx

  89. The spork is like a nucular weapon, amirite?

  90. Yep, spork killed it.

    Project Trinity H2.

  91. Hey Oso, Cardinals are playing now. Just wanted to let you know.

    I didn’t catch scott to remind him, before he went to the lake.

  92. They will probably protest this game. It’s Christian Day at Busch.

  93. Never bring a spork to a poon fight.

  94. You could bring pork to a spoon fight.

  95. Paul Dunne, the amateur tied for the lead in the British Open went to University of Alabama-Birmingham.

    I heard UAB and thought, “That can’t be our UAB, it’s gotta be something British.”

  96. I did a month long rotation at UAB in my 4th year back in 1990. It was a great time. They couldn’t get over my Yankee accent. Between all the hospitals that place was huge. Damn, 25 years ago…

  97. UAB upset my Cyclone basketball team last year. I’m hoping they’ll meet again in the Gulf Coast Classic tournament this year. I’ll be attending.

  98. It’s unfortunately in a rough area of Birmingham. I don’t know how it was in 1990, but now I would definitely not go there at night unless armed.

  99. Long story why (blame the EPA), but I made 25 business trips to B’ham in 1994 and 1995. There were two places in B’ham called Sammy’s. One was a sandwich shop near the Pemco plant and the airport, the other was a strip club. When I told the guys in the machine shop I’d been to Sammy’s, the double-takes were comical.

  100. There were two places in B’ham called Sammy’s. One was a sandwich shop near the Pemco plant and the airport, the other was a strip club. When I told the guys in the machine shop I’d been to Sammy’s, the double-takes were comical.

    You went to the strip club, didn’t you?

  101. It was probably rough back then but, being a young idiot, I didn’t realize it. Most of my time was indoors and I walked to and from the hospitals without being harassed or asked for handouts. There was a neighborhood nearby called Five Points (I think) with bars that I went to a few times with the nurses to drink and work on my drawl.

  102. You went to the strip club, didn’t you?

    Only when your mom was there.

  103. Yeah, Five Points has the satanic fountain that the evangelicals try to get removed every now and then.

  104. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/8101

  105. >>You went to the strip club, didn’t you?

    >>>>Only when your mom was there.

    http://is.gd/GTMKMp

  106. J’ames, just home from work. Rooting for the Mets…IKR?

  107. Families are weird. My Uncle Pres, is married to a Colombian. Her Aunt, several cousins, mom, and several nieces and nephews were at the campsite. No English.

  108. Naked guy was there with his naked friend.

  109. Am I the only one who is seeing a new post?


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