Weekend Update

[Cyn edit/update:]

Happy Father’s Day, Hotsausages.

169 Comments

  1. hi

  2. Too much content. It’s like you’re getting all serious now.

  3. IKR?!

  4. I’m tired, sore, and it’s hot outside. The pool may be in my future. What’s everyone else up to?

  5. Con…..tent?

    O_o

  6. I have made an HHD poat that’s scheduled to erupt with manliness next Wed, but if anyone else wants to whip something out (Not Hotspur), feel free to unfurl your magic poating skills and push mine down until the week after.

  7. We went to an all-day class about birthin’ babies.

    *adds “Midwife” to resume

  8. How hard can it be? Billions of women have done it, so it has to be easier than driving?

  9. Cyn, if I could remember how to poat, I would. I remember I called PattyAnn (PBUH) for help.

    HA! Being stupid is lame.

  10. How hard can it be? Billions of women have done it, so it has to be easier than driving?

    Right, but for most of human history we lived in multi-generational tribes, and you were surrounded by women who’d been through it already. We’ve medicalized it largely to bring the rate of death in childbirth down from 1/100 to almost nil. The ‘training’ is mostly teaching you what to expect if you’ve not been through it, and covering the edge cases that require intervention.

  11. Hey Brad,
    I followed the link to your blog from HQ, and you’re all infested with ads…are you making any coinage?

  12. I found it pretty helpful if only because I hadn’t bothered studying the stages of labor yet.

  13. “Infested”

  14. “Ads”

  15. aids

  16. Stages of labor:
    – unemployed
    – employed
    – training
    – doing your coworker’s job and your own
    – doing your coworkers’ jobs as well as your own
    – watching them get the credit
    – watching while you get the blame
    – doing your boss’s job
    – deciding to go out on your own
    – working 60 hours
    – working 80 hours
    – unemployed
    – your mom

  17. Comment by wiserbud on June 20, 2015 5:37 pm
    *golf clap*

  18. What is everyone serving tonight?
    http://bit.ly/1IVWGMg

  19. I make about $150 -200 a month on about 3500 hits a day.

  20. Everyone has aids

  21. We were almost having duck tonight. I was in the kitchen when I heard Anita shut the mower off. She came running in crying;
    “There’s a duck caught in the fence! Could you get it out?”

    She was driving back & forth on the mower and scared the little thing. It’s too small to fly, so tried to run through the 2″x4″ mesh fence, like always.
    Its butt is now too big, so it got caught and just stood there freaking-out, and flapping its useless little wings.
    I spread the wire enough for its little dick-butt (SWIDT?) to fit and it ran away…

  22. I make about $150 -200 a month on about 3500 hits a day.

    ——

    Wow, that’s pretty cool xbradtc!

  23. What does someone like Ace make? Anyone have a guess?

  24. Shit, I’ll just hit you once for $150.

    Saves aspirin.

  25. I cracked an egg to cook this morning and there was red shit in the yoke.

    I ate of it but I’m still weeping.

  26. I never eat red shit. It’s just me.

  27. I ate of it but I’m still weeping.

    —–

    HA!

    Chumpo has a heart of gold.

  28. I ate a double yolked egg this morning.

  29. One of my co-workers is an Angry Black Man. He stomps around a lot, scowling and muttering to himself.

    I call him Mr. Shine and today I sang ‘Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows’ every time I saw him.

    I’m fairly certain he’s planning to drown me in the sewage catchment pond behind the farm.

  30. I call him Mr. Shine and today I sang ‘Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows’ every time I saw him.
    I’m fairly certain he’s planning to drown me in the sewage catchment pond behind the farm.

    http://bit.ly/1MVT9y3

  31. Greetings, climate controllers.

  32. Our eggs have occasional red flecks.

    Wife freaks the hell out. I just scramble them.

  33. I saw Red Flecks open for Grateful Dead at the Astrodome in ’89.

  34. The Red Flecks are a communist bluegrass band.

  35. So are the Dead.

  36. The Red Flecks started out as a communist bluegrass band, but they later began to explore Fabian Socialism and Zydeco.

    Neither was an improvement.

  37. They did surprisingly well when they married Juche with Musak.

  38. http://is.gd/YKsdJN

  39. Thorstein Veblen was the lead singer in Theory and the Leisure Class. Later everyone just posted their stuff on Pirate Bay.

  40. Red shit in the yoke? It’s weird cos then you segued into talking about eggs. I know eggs have yolks, & oxen have yokes, but oxen don’t lay eggs.

  41. Everything* goes better with Juche!

    *Your mileage may vary. Things that may not go better with Juche include food, prosperity, basic civil liberties, a working electrical grid, human dignity, and being ruled by sane people.

  42. I saw The Laffer Curve open for Eddie Money in 1980.

  43. I saw the Broken Window Fallacy open for Stewart’s Folly at the Masonic Temple in Dunbarton in ’44.

  44. Steward’s.

    Sorry.

  45. http://is.gd/xQ5ehb

  46. http://is.gd/oqwTtA

  47. The Red Flecks started out as a communist bluegrass band, but they later began to explore Fabian Socialism and Zydeco.
    Neither was an improvement.

    This is why I love this place. Dick jokes, “your mom” comments, and this.

  48. When we talk about dicks, you only think we’re joking.

  49. What would happen to someone on the right who says something even half as offensive as this?

    I think you linked to the wrong page.

  50. Somewhere certain servers are being thoroughly erased. We’ll never see these e-mails.

    A federal judge has reopened a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit that aims to obtain e-mails between former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and her longtime aide, Huma Abedin, saying that the discovery of Clinton’s private server warranted the revival of the case.

  51. Oh crap. I will link the correct one

  52. Here it is

  53. Clown nose on, clown nose off, Tushar.

  54. I’m more curious about how you found that first, incorrect link.

  55. George, never mind where I found it. The vide is impressive. The dude walks into woods with no tools, and builds a shelter and fire.

    http://is.gd/4g4MSk

  56. It’s actually pronounced “sook,” so the joke doesn’t work anyway.

  57. So Tushar enjoys videos of a shirtless dude messing around in the woods.

    *scribbles notes*

    I don’t judge.

  58. http://wp.me/ab9T5-bzm

  59. Did anybody drive around town drawing mustaches, eye patches, and stink lines all over anybody else’s bus bench ads today?

  60. Congrats, wiserdad!

  61. Oh wow, he looks like you, wiser.

  62. >>>
    Oh wow, he looks like you, wiser.

    Nah, he’s a good looking kid

  63. *sniffle*

    Darn pollen in the plant nursery today. Must still be in by doze.

  64. So long as he doesn’t have your habit of farting in elevators.

  65. >>>Congrats, wiserdad!

    Hell, all I did was not kill him….

  66. >>>>*sniffle*

    Remember holding him in your arms when he was just a tiny little thing?

    Wait…

    That was me…

    Never mind….

  67. Hell, all I did was not kill him….

    As a son who could have used some killing many times, let me say that people like us appreciate restraint from our fathers.

  68. >>>>So long as he doesn’t have your habit of farting in elevators.

    You misspelled “hobby”

    I have … Like… The biggest secret EVER but I promised not to tell….

    DAMN YOU, S/HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED!!!!!

  69. Well, everyone needs a hobby.

  70. >>>>As a son who could have used some killing many times, let me say that people like us appreciate restraint from our fathers.

    Without us, there would be no Father’s Day.

    I’m sitting on my front porch, gearing up for dialing down for the night, and I hear my neighbor’s 6-week old crying….

    And I smile….

    Sooooooo glad those days are behind me……

  71. Awesome going, Wiserson!
    if you are going to college, stat away from feminists.

  72. Congrats wiser and wiserson!

  73. >>>>if you are going to college, stat away from feminists.

    Oh, we’ve had that discussion…..

  74. Good lookin’ boy you got there!

    Tell the postman I said “Nice work!”

  75. >>>>>>Tell the postman I said “Nice work!”

    If you only knew how long it took me to convince him to let me jerk him……

    Never mind….

  76. L to R: Cyn, Wiserbub

  77. I’ve listened to today’s DotW segment 3 times already and it is still the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

  78. I’m looking forward to GND whipping a cocktail or three.

    She should be live streamed.

  79. A frozen honeydew slush…….

    Holy fuck….

  80. How he got through that segment, I will never know…

  81. He is pretty good at making those fru-fru drinks.

  82. >>>>>She should be live streamed.

    *cough

  83. And ya know, come to think of it… his drink choices have become, um, shall we say “frillier” as the segment has gone on.

  84. *cough

    WHAT?!

    She’s hawt. Smokin’ hawt.

    Don’t lie – all youse would love to see her live streaming.

  85. >>>>if you are going to college, stat away from feminists.

    Oh, we’ve had that discussion…..

    So, he’s agreed to go gay?

  86. I was so close to mentioning his huge cock during his announcement…..

  87. >>>>Don’t lie – all youse would love to see her live streaming.

    That usually cost $20

  88. I was so close to mentioning his huge cock during his announcement…..

    Well… that explains those few hours that we couldn’t find either of you.

  89. That usually cost $20

    Usually.

    *cough

  90. >>>>>Well… that explains those few hours that we couldn’t find either of you.

    The three of us……

    and I was just watching in amazement….

  91. >>>>Usually.

    *cough

    Well, more if you want …….

    Yannow…. moving on…

  92. and I was just watching in amazement….

    Amazement that she’s settling for a muppet. #smh

  93. >>>>Amazement that she’s settling for a muppet. #smh

    #furry

  94. #MakesDrinksWithABlender

  95. Seriously tho, they do make a really cute couple.

    #hatesthem

  96. #ThreeApplesHigh

  97. HA!

  98. He’s a god, he’s a man,
    He’s a ghost, he’s a guru
    They’re whispering his name
    Through this disappearing land
    But hidden in his derp
    Is a red right hand

  99. WTFITS?

  100. We are getting pouring rain that will last all day long. They say it’s the remnants of Tropical Storm Bill.

    *narrows eyes, glances to the so’west*

  101. Coffee, then gym, then mass.

    Then nap or mow based on rain. Probably nap.

  102. Morning.

  103. Speaking of mass, we understand thanks to Einstein that it warps space-time, which is why the hours seem to fly by when we’re with your mom.

  104. http://is.gd/ZSEjPM

  105. Happy Father’s Day to the H2 fathers, grandfathers, godfathers, and soon-to-be fathers.

  106. Happy Father’s day! I get pancakes for beakfast, too.

  107. Well the new phone didn’t improve my spelling. But I get way better reception. I’m actually reading and posting from rural Iowa!

  108. Good morning turds and turdettes.

  109. Happy Father’s Day to all y’all.

  110. Morning.

  111. Happy Fathers Day to all of you Mother lovers!

  112. Good morning all.

    And happy fathers day to all fathers.

    I got to sleep late without getting disturbed, two nice greeting cards, and now in Ihop for breakfast. Life is good.

  113. http://is.gd/IkdF3U

  114. Happy Father’s Day, emmeffers.

  115. You know, pupster’s link illustrates the perfect Father’s Day gift. For the fathers here.
    😜

  116. Happy Father’s Day, Peeps – poatse updated.

    Also, Happy Birthday, Phat!

  117. Know what worse than packing something and then realizing it’s too big to get out the door?

    Absolutely nothing.

    I just got lucky, it will slide out while touching both sides of the door frame.

  118. I got to stay seated during the blessing of the fathers. That was nice.

    The weather is not cooperating with my nap strategy. One more cup of coffee then out to mow and weed and probably some machete-ing.

  119. You’ve probably been meaning to install a larger door anyways.

  120. Moving the “packing office” out to the garage?

  121. You could always have cut an extra hole in the roof or floor.

    This wouldn’t help but it’s still an option.

  122. Last time I made that mistake was at the store. It was a couch that missed going out by 1/2″.

  123. Mrs. Caruthers and I are wargaming what to do if we get pregnant again and I’m still working from home.

    I kind of want to build a free-standing “garage” where I can put the office, a power rack, and a nice wood-burning stove for winter.

  124. Most people call that a mancave.

  125. Maybe it’s ciscave now.

  126. “Office”.

    Mow time.

  127. *lowers chin and whispers*

    “mowing”

  128. Next year Leon will be a father.

  129. Happy Fathers Day, assholes.

  130. Hey!

  131. Who you calling an asshole, asshole?

  132. Happy Birthday Phat!

  133. Fixed! http://is.gd/NjmscV

  134. Damn, Scott. I really think you’ve got something there.

  135. The wire for the meat thermometer can’t get wet.
    Now I don’t care if it rains.

    Plus, if I grill at the beach…….fishing rod holder!

  136. Is the umbrella high enough that it’s not getting too much heat?

  137. Plenty high. I cook at 225.

  138. I hope Bruce/Caitylin Jenner realizes that his/her timing for coming out totally sucked. Did not get greeted for either Father’s day or Mother’s day.

  139. Packing, selling stuff on Craigslist today. Safe, treadmill, dog crate, couch, chairs, desks, tables, generator, tools, we are selling out to the bare walls, everything must go! Crazy Pupster lost his lease job!

  140. That sucks, Pups. How do you feel about animal husbandry? I know a place that’s hiring.

  141. Ha ha ha!
    I am not condoning what this guy did, but he did it to people who deserved it.

    And I can’t help but laugh at his smug bastard face.

    http://is.gd/qEcit3

  142. You are selling the dog crate? The roof (SWIDT?) over your head?

  143. I hope you make a small mint, Puppeh.

  144. Do women dress extra slutty on Fathers Day?

    The grocery store was different today.

  145. I might need to go back.

  146. Do women dress extra slutty on Fathers Day?

    Only the ones angry that he went out for cigarettes twenty years ago and never came back.

  147. Animal Husbandry is a bit of a requirement in this house.

  148. Do women dress extra slutty on Fathers Day?

    Only the ones with “daddy issues”. Bring plenty of one dollar bills with you. And a mirror. And some illegal drugs.

  149. Happy Father’s Day, and Happy Birthday to Phat.

    I got to brand today. We did it old school with ropes and a bunch of guys (Just like your mom!). Went really fast.

  150. Puppeh, do you still have the wonder dog?

  151. It started to rain again, overnight. Haven’t been able to garden in over a week.

    Flooding everywhere. Both rivers are vewwy vewwy high. Daughter says they closed the flood gates by her last week. They’ll be closed for awhile.

  152. That sucks, Beasn; stay sheltered!!1!

  153. Beansesegdstyye,

    Check out picture 5:
    http://nashville.craigslist.org/fuo/5084370844.html

    Nessie is in all the Craigslist ads so folks know what’s up.

  154. There’s the gorgeous puppeh! Whew, I’m glad.

  155. Photobombing doggeh!

  156. heh

  157. Mowed. Helped shop-vac the Escape so we can sell it.

    Baking low-carb pizza crust now. My Father’s Day present was the whiskey and soda that I made for myself before I started to cook.

  158. Huh?

  159. I packed a dining room table and two benches, went to the grocery store, and cut the lawn.

    In other words, I kicked ass.

    http://is.gd/cmJcYX

  160. I worked out, ate lunch, took a nap, and watched TV.

    In other words, I kicked ass.

  161. Are you still golfing?

  162. Scott – Not today. All the hackers drag their Dads to the golf course on Fathers Day.

  163. Doing laundry and waiting for it to cool down.

  164. I think the economy nearly killed golf around here, country clubs and public courses are advertising.

  165. Antennae TV has a Father Knows Best marathon, today.

    I like that show.

  166. Pew noat.

  167. I could join our beautiful country club for less than a third of what it cost 5 years ago. Still double what I pay for a membership on the post.


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