Posting from the iPad

Did any of you morons know you can do this?

You can even put photos. Here’s one of MJ watching the NBA Finals:



Here’s one of Mare teaching one of her daughters to be a homemaker.



Here is advice for most people who visit here accidentally:



And since it’s Sunday afternoon:



216 Comments

  1. MJ in a hoodie? I always thought he was black.

  2. Delete your life.

  3. I bought “rind-on” bacon by mistake. I’m not a fan.

  4. Anyway, we now know Hotspur has a GayPad. 📱 + ⏰ = poat

  5. You can just go ahead and send me that Nobel prize now.

  6. I bought Sriracha chicken from Costco. Unless Rocketboy can eat it, it’s going to get thrown out. I thought it would be pleasantly hot, but it’s inedible.

  7. You’re not black enough, old man. 👦🏿👳🏿👮🏿

  8. I’m incognegro.

    I love that word.

  9. Sriracha is the latest hipster condiment. Oddly, one of the largest producers was shut down for months.
    http://reason.com/archives/2013/12/21/california-regulators-attempt-to-kill-sr

  10. Anyone seen this?
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Like_Me_(film)

  11. Do you buy James Whitmore as a black dude?
    http://is.gd/Ssqyl1

  12. I give this post 3 of these: 💩💩💩

    That’s not Shinola

  13. Leon, check yer gmail.

  14. That’s a fine award, jimbro
    👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👊🏿🙏🏻

  15. For the rest of you, that’s three black thumbs up, one black fist, and one white guy saying his prayers

  16. 🌚

  17. Roamy, I’ve been reading a mess of old space exploration stuffs line lately. I had no idea we actually got a NERVA engine to run successfully for 65 minutes.

  18. Hotspur
    😨

  19. Gmail checked and replied.

  20. I can’t any of these bullshit emoji you dweebs are using.

  21. George, they tried to resurrect NERVA as Prometheus some years ago. I don’t think it got as far as engine tests.

  22. Now Hotspurt has to get an Apple GayWatch so he can beam drawings of Dickbutt to other people’s watches.

  23. The part I read
    In December 1967, the NRX-A6 NERVA ground-test engine operated for 60 minutes without a hitch; that is, for longer than would have been required to boost Aeronutronic’s dual-planet flyby spacecraft out of Earth orbit and onto its symmetric trajectory. President Richard Nixon cancelled NERVA in 1972 after program expenditures totaling $1.4 billion.

  24. Leon, what do you see? Just empty boxes? I can see monochrome emoji on my Windows phone.

  25. Empty boxes.

  26. From the last thread:

    Baja California del Norte

    Delightful! Low California of the North.

  27. You have to have an iPhag69 or better to see the emojis.

  28. I have a filing cabinet of NERVA stuff, but I’ll admit I only read the final report.

    I see little boxes with UTF over a 3-digit number. Last one is 628

  29. I use sriracha to spice up leftovers like rice and veggies. Never really use it as a main flavoring.

  30. Roamy, you on Windows or Android? I’ve wondered how cross platform the fagmojis are.

  31. You can’t see emojis on flip phones, I don’t think.

  32. Ok i garden for a while – it was only sprinkling. Now it’s pouring. sigh.

    I did get a lot done in my little window of semi-dryness.

  33. Crikey! It’s a fucking deluge.

  34. I can’t see emojis on my typewriter. Should I upgrade to iRibbon6?

  35. Windows. I have a dumb phone and no data plan.

  36. I wanted to mow today, the parts of the yard I didn’t finish are about over a foot high now. No luck, all rain all the time.

    And I need to get into the garden, too. Weeds and grass are sprouting along with everything else.

  37. I can’t see emojis on my typewriter. Should I upgrade to iRibbon6?
    You might try the new iClayTablet and stylus. It runs on SanskritOS.

  38. It was barely raining so I just went out. Weeds came right up things are so wet. Planted two bushes; moved my painted fern to the new hugel-hill; potted my hanging fern; turned over an area of the garden and planted some pumpkins and cantalop. Weeded around rocks. I really did get a lot done.

  39. Man, and there’s more nasty ass shit headed this way.

  40. I did get a lot done in my little window of semi-dryness.
    Never heard of menopause so described.
    *ducks and runs*

  41. I persevere George.

  42. George, I’ve got a history of the Saturn rocket motors I can share with you if you’re interested.

  43. I might weed a bit if the rain ever lets up here, otherwise it waits for tomorrow and I have to decide what I’m spending the afternoon reading.

  44. You know, I used to be able to compile SanskritOS under the old GCC 2.95. Now it just fails with a “Error: out of mud” when I try under GCC 3.4 or above.

  45. Yes oh please, Roamy. It’s not Bilstein’s book, is it? Is it off the NASA tech report server?

  46. it’s slowing down a bit again. I may go out again after I finish my spot of tea.

  47. I think with GCC 3.4 you need to add straw to the mud or you won’t get object oriented bricks.

  48. So later today I get to paint one side of Hate House and replace a broken toilet seat.

  49. Functional bricks do the job, anything else is just someone showing off like “hey, I know polymorphism!”. I hate that crap.

  50. Polymorphism is perverse.

  51. I actually need to review it in case it comes up in the interview.

    You almost never need it in practice, but there are some folks so enamored of their own cleverness in its use that you can only underwhelm them unless you honor their perverse fetish for language features.

  52. *orders two gross of opossums*

  53. I could have sold those things!?

    DAMMIT!

  54. Do I have your e-mail Roamy? I think so but I need a hint.

  55. Okay, this Labatt Blue isn’t going to drink itself.

  56. I thought I read in Wired that Google is working on self-drinking beer.

  57. Before I order the opossums I ought to order some ticks.

  58. You don’t really buy beer, as much as you just rent it.

  59. Our system requirements document includes a hefty number of requirements that my former systems engineer designated “self-licking ice cream cones”. Basically they are requirements that are so basic that you couldn’t even accidentally not fulfil them.

  60. I rented some last night while I butter poached small lobster tails. That worked rather well.

  61. George, it was XBrad offering the Saturn rocket document, though I have a pretty good collection of those, Lunar Roving Vehicle, and Skylab stuff.

  62. Oh, great. Flash flood warning ’til 5:30.

  63. At least he didn’t call them self-licking cocker spaniels.

  64. Also, my email has 930 in it.

  65. Me want, Roamy.

  66. Shot you a mail, Roamy

  67. Hotspur, I actually liked this post of yours, I laughed and thought good things about you (unlike that time you did the BBF post….hahahahaha).

  68. The header pic and caption are excellent!

  69. Sriracha on eggs is heavenly. Not hot at all, just great flavor.

  70. “So later today I get to paint one side of Hate House”

    =========

    “In” side, or “Out” side?

  71. Hahahaha

    Thanks, Mare.

  72. A little sriracha is nice, but this was like eating a large spoonful of sriracha on a dare.

  73. Outside. Much easier.

  74. Striracha on your mom doesn’t make her hot. But it does cover up some unpleasantness.

  75. Chronicles of the Decline
    Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti on Saturday signed a law hiking the city’s minimum wage from $9 an hour to $15 by 2020, an increase that will affect hundreds of thousands of workers.

    Garcetti, speaking in English and Spanish, told a crowd of hundreds at the signing event that he wanted to lift the city’s lowest-paid workers out of poverty…

    Opponents say the law will place an unfair burden on small businesses and will drive employers away from the city.

    Addressing those concerns, Garcetti said: “We would not have done this if we believed this would hurt our economy.”

  76. Garcetti ‘s beliefs are not reality.

  77. There are dozens of dairies within a 50’mile radius of where I grew up that were not there 30’years ago. Every one of them are owns by transplanted Californians. I don’t know that every business is as easy to pack up and move as dairy cows and milk producing eqpt. But those that are will eventually be forced to head this way.

  78. PG shows up, and the fucking blog goes on life support.

  79. It’s almost a lock.

  80. WOrk called and asked if I could come in.

    Guess my answer.

  81. Did it start with the letter F?

    🙉

  82. Eat shit and die?

  83. you told them you were sick, right?

  84. Quit hogging all the rain!

  85. We haven’t had a drop in two weeks.

  86. You told them you’d happily work a double.

  87. I was surprised when I saw the drought map for the U.S. recently at AoS and we were in the drought area for New England. The mildest level but I thought we were doing okay after a wet spring and all the snow we had. Mother Nature is never happy.

  88. Annnnd Car in goes in to work…

  89. Did you have above average snow like Boston, jimbro?

  90. Yeah, I just looked for the total but I’m at camp with crappy internet like Carin previously had and can’t find it. It was either a record or damn near a record. We get their weather a day later but sometimes their storms miss us and vice versa.

  91. I snatch kisses and vice versa

  92. Comment by George Orwell on June 14, 2015 2:45 pm

    Garcetti ‘s beliefs are not reality.
    ========

    Doesn’t matter, as long as he means well, results are not important.

  93. Greetings, fake black people.

  94. Sup honky?

  95. Left work early today. There’s a great big snake living in my potato patch. Should make harvest time interesting.

  96. There’s a great big snake living in my potato patch. Should make harvest time interesting.

    Best euphemism EVAR?

  97. Been watching a parade of robins, catbirds, and a cardinal take baths in my birdbath. This is fine entertainment. They’re adorable.

    I apologize for becoming so boring. Couldn’t be helped, just happened.

    Also, Bubba is duplicating tire fire smells right now. He is really good at it. If I didn’t know better I would swear the Michelin plant is burning down.

  98. Afternoon.

  99. *SIGH*

    Sean, I’m getting so very tired of stuffing you into an Iron Maiden. I’m just not going to do it anymore.

    *opens door to Iron Maiden*

    Get in.

  100. Today I went to the baby barn with Safety Officer Cletus. His idea of helping me power wash the Pits was to follow me around and talk to the back of my head while I gathered all of my equipment and set everything up. He did finally shut up and go away when I started washing.

  101. I don’t have a Manticore any longer, but I think S.O. Cletus is going to be a goldmine.

    S.O. Cletus: *jabbing finger at a spot on the floor* There’s a pile of shit here. I know cuz I see it.

    Me: . . . It’s hard to argue with that chain of logic.

    S.O. Cletus: I know, right? Be sure you get this spot.

    Later, in the break room:

    S.O. Cletus: There used to be a deck of cards here, but I don’t know what happened to them.

    Me: They must have grown legs.

    S.O. Cletus: Either that or they was stole. One time we lost 100 pigs from this farm. I think it was a inside job.

    Me: I bet it was them bastards what stole the playing cards.

    S.O. Cletus: No, it couldn’t have been them. The playing cards was still here after the pigs was gone.

  102. Okay, I’ll get in.

    But I’m not shutting the lid behind me. That’s on you.

  103. And one more:

    Me: *looking in the first aid kit* Where are the band-aids?

    S.O. Cletus: They’re over there on the desk.

    Me: Uh. . . Shouldn’t the first aid supplies be kept with the first aid kit?

    S.O. Cletus: Well, you see, we keep them over here because we order the band-aids separate from the other first aid stuff.

    Me: . . .Right. . . I sleep better at night knowing my safety is in your hands.

  104. Either that or they was stole. One time we lost 100 pigs from this farm. I think it was a inside job.

    If Cletus doesn’t already believe in aliens, I bet you could persuade him. In a pretty short amount of time, even.

    Make it happen, Jewstin.

  105. Make it happen, Jewstin.

    Challenge accepted.

  106. When they make a movie about this pigshit thing, who’s gonna play the part of SO Cletus?

  107. who’s gonna play the part of SO Cletus?

    Is Jim Nabors still dead?

  108. HoloNabors does good work.

  109. I would see this movie.

  110. who’s gonna play the part of SO Cletus?

    Zombie Slim Pickens

  111. Side of house painted, new seat toileted.

  112. who’s gonna play the part of SO Cletus?

    Brian Denehy.

  113. I thought Dennehy would play Jewstin.

  114. There are pictures of his Honolulu birthday party on FB. Carol Burnett was there to celebrate with him.

  115. Jewstin’s stories remind me of David Sedaris. Not to imply that Jewstin is gay. NTTAWWT.

  116. http://tinyurl.com/p6565on

    I’m thinking this guy. No idea if he’s stil alive.

  117. Wait, wait, wait…are you saying that David Sedaris is gay?

  118. Aw man. I keep having sadz as all my childhood actor fans keep dying. Lisa in Photo took her teen-aged daughters to Hollywood. The girls didn’t know Lucille Ball or John Wayne. Ended up ruining the trip for Lisa. Um…my dad would get us up to watch Lon Chaney, Bela Lugosi, Humphrey Bogart, etc. Dan had never seen a Black & White movie when I met him. I had to school him with the Classics. Le sigh.

  119. I’m saying David Sedaris lacks an appreciation for hardware stores and old school barber shops.

  120. I would imagine he actually does have an appreciation for those things.

    As kitsch.

  121. Wait, I thought Jew was our token gay? I’m token Messican. Lauraw represents the Portugee. Tush is Dot Indian. Wiser plays softball with the Jews. Now, 18-yr old Wiserson, Texas Jew, is our Jewish guy, XB and CoAlex are Army, Andy is our GA Smoker while Scott is our CT Smoker, Rosetta is our tranny. The rest of you have WHITE PRIVILEGE.

  122. He might have an appreciation for power tools.

  123. I have the best privilege, dead white male privilege.

  124. I’m never having sex again, because in the three minutes it took me to fix the sprinkler in the front courtyard, my fucking balls melted right off.

  125. Hahaha.

  126. Who is our token transblack?

  127. I’m a Spanish Gitano sailor.

  128. Kelly at work is 6’7″. He walks on his tiptoes. Makes him 7’3″. Dan calls us “Groot and Rocket”. Kelly is feeding Dan’s lame attempt at humor by saying “I am Groot” to everything.

  129. Silly XBrad.

    That’s not why.

  130. I’m Spartacus.

  131. Who is our token transblack?

    Dis niggah ri’ hiah.

  132. Michael was always trying to recruit a black Hostage. Car in is from Detroit. I bet she can play…

  133. Jew is our Squirrel. I’m the new Raccoon. “Why you lie?” makes me Messican.

  134. Portuguese people are white people. And you are whiter than me, guera.

  135. Lauraw, we have a rare opportunity at victim politics and you are being rational?

  136. Apologies. Carry on.

  137. Car in is blonde, she could have black roots.

  138. Tush is our token wog, Cyn is our token crazy cat lady, Scott is our token hoarder, MJ is our token closeted fairy. I’m the token pervy Limey what dresses up like a lady at the drop of a chapeau.

  139. Portuguese people are white people.

    Now, hold on just a cotton-pickin’ second there. You guys are Europeans, yes, but white? Let’s not go crazy here.

    I mean, your food has spices and stuff, and a lot of you have names that end in vowels other than “e.”

  140. Also those shifty Portuguese use tildes. Nõt trustworthy.

  141. Portugal is a little uppity over the whole “Age of Explorers” dealio.

  142. Car in is blonde, she could have black roots.
    *golf clap*

  143. Look, I’m sure most Portuguese people are friendly and hardworking. But do I really, honestly want them sharing my White Privilege?

    No.

  144. White Privilege? You’re Irish.

  145. You make compelling arguments, Sean. The food is fantastic.

    However, the Portuguese introduced Euro-style slavery to the Americas, and were top-notch capital-O, Opressors.

    ALSO, and most convincingly, they no longer do any of those things. So they may be badmouthed at will without fear that they will ever detonate themselves at an art show.

    Which as you know is the defining feature of white oppressors; they can be shat upon continuously without fear for your person. They are quite tricky in that regard. You hardly feel oppression at all. But you are still very sure that it is there.

  146. Dan is lace curtain Irish. Pretty sure you are shanty Irish.

  147. I’m a guy with shaved head and a goatee living in Wayne County and I’m at the gym and church all the time but I never go to work.

    Tellin’ ya, I’m blacker ‘n’ at least half of you.

  148. 15 minutes of fame contestant Rachel Dolezal:

    I’d guess I’m also one of the youngest presidents[of the NAACP]. As a single mom who has lived on the poverty line and identifies as bisexual, perhaps some of my other demographics are also a first for Spokane.

    Transblack and bisexy!

  149. Also I like white girls with big booties.

    Speaking of which, MMM goes live at 530am.

  150. Portuguese chorizo isn’t even REAL chorizo. Yes! I said it. (Crosses arms)

  151. White Privilege? You’re Irish.

    Found out several years ago that we weren’t Catholic Irish, so yeah.

    Also, I’ve got English, Scottish, German, and French blood running through these veins. Think Liz Warren, sans cheekbones.

  152. So Sean is our token potato eater?

  153. 63 of my nearest 64 ancestors are from the island formerly known as Great Britain. The 64th came over from Germany in 1807. It’s hard to get any whiter than me.

  154. It’s spelled Chouriço.

  155. However, the Portuguese introduced Euro-style slavery to the Americas

    Note the “s” at the end there. “Dixie” sounds weird when you whistle it with a samba beat.

  156. Mmm… Linguiça is lovely on pizza. My drop dead favorite as a kid was Round Table Pizza, we’d go there and get linguiça and black olive.

  157. Like many American blacks, I am also partly Irish.

  158. *slams the iron maiden door shut*

  159. PG wins the privilege contest. *directs SJWs to PG’s front door*

  160. I’ve never heard of putting linguica on pizza. Sounds good.

  161. I’m surprised in retrospect that a white suburb where I grew up had a pizza parlor even serving linguiça.

  162. Ow.

    Typical Latin-types, what with the temper.

  163. We were served linguika.

  164. Yeah, most pizza places around here are greek or italian, not portuguese.

  165. Until Laura mentioned it, I’d never even heard of liguica. Here near Detroit there’s polish sassage and eyetalian sassage and that’s about it. Chorizo is still new and exotic.

  166. The Midwest isn’t known for food.

  167. We have better venison dishes than anywhere. And Amish desserts.

  168. I made a whole bunch of cured and smoked linguica links recently, but it is the juicy stuff that needs to be refrigerated.

    I want to learn how to make the true dry cured sausages. Dad bought me a little coil of chourico last week and I’m just really enjoying the dry texture of the slices with some cheese and olives.

  169. Here near Detroit there’s polish sassage and eyetalian sassage and that’s about it.

    They’re gonna lose their shit when bratwurst hits the grocery stores.

  170. I’ve heard that Michigan mexican food is the bomb.

  171. It can be quite good. Or utterly pedestrian.

    And brats are polish sassage, Sean, basically. Even if they aren’t, if you buy ’em here they were probably made by someone with a polish surname.

  172. What? Chorizo is Spanish. Stop appropriating my lower Iberian culture.

  173. Fake Amish.

  174. Almost as funny as good venison dishes.

  175. Michigan Dutch.

  176. PG also works in the oil industry, so the greenies hate him as well!

  177. Best possum dishes. Wait…..where did it go?

  178. Chorizo is indeed Spanish. They culturally-appropriated the Portuguese chourico sausage, and misspelled it.

  179. We have real Amish, the Mennonites are in Indiana.

    We don’t cook the best possum dishes. That’s Kentucky.

  180. Hahaha. SJW just made every Iberian “Hispanic”. 2 countries preserve the Portuguese. Everyone else says “Chorizo”. And “Que?” *Drops mic*

  181. Gross.

  182. We have all manner of Dunkers here in Penn’s Woods.

  183. MCPO lives in Pennsyltucky.

  184. Bedtime. Well past, really.

  185. You brown Europeans can duke it out amongst yourselves. Just remember whitey steers the boat.

  186. Dude. Pretty sure that the Portugee steered the boat. Scandis let the boat steer them.

  187. We stole the boat from the brown people after they steered it for awhile . Or we just own it anyway.

  188. Either way, I replace your historical facts with my reality. All the kids are doing it nowadays.

  189. I live amongst Native Americans. They are better for our conquest.

  190. Dan has quietly become an old Mexican guy. He has appropriated my culture to the point mi familia thinks he’s
    “More Messican” than I am.

  191. I’m blacker than all u posers. I’m down with the 313 Still.

  192. Car in’s Secret Santa present (Car in, don’t look):
    http://bit.ly/1TmOj2a

  193. The gift that keep on giving.

    Rachel Dolezal once did not let a student participate in a class activity about race and culture because she did not appear Hispanic enough, the student told BuzzFeed News on Friday…

    The student — who, like many others interviewed for this article, asked to remain anonymous — told BuzzFeed News that she took two courses with Dolezal during her freshman year to fulfill academic requirements at Eastern Washington University.

  194. Comment by George Orwell on June 14, 2015 9:37 pm

    PG wins the privilege contest. *directs SJWs to PG’s front door*

    **renames Remington 870 “white privilege”**

  195. Did anybody notice that anybody else was being strangely evasive about what their “famous homemade jerky” was made out of today?

  196. I’m so white I’m blue…………..

  197. http://tinyurl.com/ofllvht

  198. strangely evasive about what their “famous homemade jerky” was made out of

    I don’t think this Genuine Alien Jerky I picked up in a Roswell gift shop is actually made out of Grey sirloin.

  199. Why would you make jerky out of the sirloin of a grey? For fucks sake, that’s the best part! You grill the sirloin, you fucking philistine! Make jerky out of the shriveled nads.

  200. See, this makes me doubly suspicious of Genuine Alien Jerky as the real deal. They would make jerky out of the tentacles or something.

  201. It’s like y’all don even know how to clean & cook a damned space alien around here. Space penis, indeed.

  202. Why National Review is nearly worthless these days, with the exception of Kevin Williamson and Charlie Cooke.

    http://takimag.com/article/beta_male_suckiness_at_national_review_kathy_shaidle

  203. Frank Zappa has some insight on racial identity for the transblacks of the world.

  204. Ugh. That Setorts (Stetorts? Seorts? I can’t be bothered to figure out if I’m spelling it right ) guy. Makes me long for the days when David Frum and Rod Dreher were writing there.

  205. Comment by George Orwell on June 14, 2015 11:51 pm

    Why National Review is nearly worthless these days, with the exception of Kevin Williamson and Charlie Cooke.

    Honestly, I dislike both of those guys. Jonah Goldberg and Jim Gerehty are the only two I read on a regular basis.

  206. Your mileage may vary. Williamson and Cooke are pretty libertarian and pro-gun people with acerbic wit, so I’m okay. Jonah is still usually good, Geraghty less so but still good. I can do without the Rich Lowrys et al., and the ads for wine clubs and cruises are absurd.

  207. Eleanor Rigby is a cunt.

  208. has anyone commented on the fact that the africanized honey beotch in the header pick looks like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons…

  209. they’re also both fictional characters with over-inflated senses of self-worth.

  210. Jeebus, what is it with The Blaze that it always, without fail, fucks up my browser?

  211. x – i had to install ad block plus just to be able to get around the damn place.
    been running fine ever since

  212. Rachel Dolezal and Al Jolson walk into a bar. The bartender says “You know, it isn’t Halloween.” Jolson says “Yeah, I asked my buddy not to wear a dress.”

  213. Head for the border, go get a taco
    Watch me wreck it from the jump street, meaning from the get-go
    Sit back relax and let yourself go
    Don’t derp what you heard, but act like you know

  214. Good morning.


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