Well theres floodin down in Texas….all of the telephone lines are down

2015 floods blamed on climate change?

Osama Bin Lobster

Where it’s at.

Stay safe my Texas friends. It’s hard for the rest of us to grasp where the flooding is based on national newscasts. You stay safe too John Kerry. You’re our point man with Iran! If you’re down for the count we may need to send Barak over there to give away the store.

146 Comments

  1. Now I want lobster for breakfast dammit.

  2. Where It’s At

    http://is.gd/dPtzE2

  3. http://is.gd/vIQbMP

  4. http://imgur.com/gallery/JXWHfVq

  5. small retail isn’t the only area where you have to put up with bullshit. Just sayin.

    If I ever manage an exit or we’re together in real life, ask me about gubmint contracting. Dysfunction abounds.

  6. We got 1.25″ the night before last. No flooding but it is going to be a record year for tumbleweeds.

  7. It’s been raining for about 18 hours here. No “flooding” yet but we have a large series of drainage ditches that are all pretty full.

  8. The new rain barrel is full.

    No leaks.

  9. Wakey wakey. Soccer this morning. I may die .

  10. We’re getting rain for the next 3 days. The average rainfall is down this spring so I guess we need it. I just had my driveway leveled and resurfaced with recycled asphalt and the guy said rain will help it settle into a hard pack.

  11. Bring your bike

  12. We had a good rain here last night,. The dog park I take the boys to was more wet than usual, but there was no standing water in the parking lot like there was the day of the flood last week

  13. I spoke too soon, I am not seeing any additional flooding , but there are parts of Houston and suburbs that are. Mandatory evacuations along the Brazos River in Rosenberg

  14. My brother used to live about 100 yards from the Brazos in Richmond. I’d like to look over his old back fence right now.

  15. Huh, I just read in the Boston Herald that Kerry’s being flown to MGH for surgery. I guess he’s had 2 hip replacements which makes this fracture a periprosthetic fracture.

    Here’s an example of a perisprosthetic fracture: http://is.gd/YFJReq

    They ususally require a lot of hardware and/or a longer fracture stem to repair. Either way, Jahn is going to be spending the summer on Nantucket. Which reminds me of a man I once met from Nantucket…

  16. I have not made it to Richmond yet PG, it is on the list.

  17. Leaving Switzerland, where they developed modern fracture surgery, to fly to Boston.

    Arbeitsgemeinschaft für Osteosynthesefragen (German for “Association for the Study of Internal Fixation”, or AO) was formed in Switzerland.

  18. Just another suburb in the swamp best I could tell.

  19. He chose to live there because the street signs were in English.

  20. The hip thingy makes me wonder how Sean’s mom is doing. Hope she is better and no more surgeries.

  21. Wonder if Wiser survived the prom night party.

  22. We still need rain here in south central PA. My lawn is seriously brown and the corn ain’t looking good.

  23. Comment by pendejogrande on May 31, 2015 9:02 am

    We got 1.25″ the night before last
    ==========
    Your mom got a lot more than that.

    We’ve had more rain than usual this spring, but we can always use more rain.

  24. Survived the prom party and was even able to get up in time for softball. I think I will be dead by 6pm though

  25. Car in, if Bikemom is there you should start doing deadlifts.

  26. We have no rain in southern Clownifornia. But that’s okay because we also haven’t bothered to build any major water projects or construct any new watersheds in forty years. Because tree hugger utopia Coastal Commission Mother Earth save the planet shut up.

  27. What did Wiser wear to the prom? Did he get a gardenia?

  28. One of wiserson’s guests was just the cutest little black girl with the sweetest personality.

    When they all left this morning to go out for breakfast, she gave both my wife and I a big hug and thanked us for a wonderful time.

    It was awesome to see someone of that age showing some politeness and class.

  29. Because tree hugger utopia Coastal Commission Mother Earth save the planet shut up.

    ——

    Well said.

  30. George – One party rule, inevitably, leads to stupidity.

  31. It still blows my mind that I live in a state where Reagan was governor while I was alive (dead), and that helped put him in the White House. Now my state is barely worthy of Jerry Brown and probably better suited to Carlos Danger.

    This is a permanently one party state now and will enjoy henceforth all the dynamism and growth of Mexico.

  32. http://imgur.com/gallery/YRtQaY8

  33. Happy wife, happy life.

  34. “1.25” Your mom got a lot more than that.”

    Twice that much.

  35. Crime in Hartford is out of control, and the police chief says more cops is not the answer..

    “While it may create the feeling of safety,” he said, that approach “inevitably saturates our poorest, most challenged neighborhoods with police officers, which inevitably highlights them for more arrests, incarcerations and a negative law enforcement impact.”

    WTF?

  36. A gallery of the most incompetent retards this side of the galaxy:

    http://imgur.com/a/tEeuk?gallery

  37. Obama has pussified all of the things!

  38. Tushar, those are laugh out loud funny. I’m assuming most of those are from infomercials where they over exaggerate everything to make it seem like you need their product.

  39. Contrast that to the Detroit police chief who said something like “we can’t be everywhere, get a gun”.

  40. my kids:
    Mom, dad’s laughing at the computer again. He sounds crazy!!

    Fuchin’ Tushar D!!!

  41. “While it may create the feeling of safety,” he said, that approach “inevitably saturates our poorest, most challenged neighborhoods with police officers, which inevitably highlights them for more arrests, incarcerations and a negative law enforcement impact.”

    I’ve got five words for you:

    Get Out Now While You Still Can

  42. I’ve got five words for you:

    —–

    A classic!

  43. They can’t go in the bad neighborhoods and arrest the bad people because it’s racist.

  44. It’s all going according to plan.

  45. Seems like the underclass of Hartford could avoid being incarcerated by adopting obamas foreign policy. Don’t do stupid shit.

    But like obama, they’re incapable of even that.

  46. Afternoon Hostages.

    *drinks*

  47. Afternoon, bcoch.

    *snorts cocaine*

  48. If you build it, they will come.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/IPeVDjO

  49. See, I’ve never seen the appeal of cocaine. I mean, if I’m going to do drugs, I want to be mellow and happy and chill, not amped up out of my gourd.

  50. The full video is even more awesome.

  51. For those who love fishing.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/npE4jqu

  52. Well I guess that’s better than the Hawaiian guy that was killed by a swordfish, Tushar.

    Just a thought folks, when you enter the ocean, you’re nowhere near the top of the food chain anymore.

  53. I’m kidding. I can’t snort coke. All I do is mainline embalming fluid.

  54. Hey XBrad, what does OAF stand for, militarily speaking?

  55. Officers are Fuckheads.

  56. ORing Aardvark Falcon Niner you are clear to land.

    Clcccckkkkshshsh

  57. Tushar is on fire today.

  58. I could use a little context, but probably Operation Allied Force, the NATO campaign in Yugoslavia.

  59. Buffaloader, have I ever complimented ye on your awesome blog/site whatever?

    I looks really cool.
    You have the skilz.

  60. XBrad, is the below linked story true? Or plausible?
    I would like to think so. It is an awesome story.

    http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread995013/pg1

  61. Tush, that’s been making the rounds a couple years. AFAIK, it’s a true story.

  62. Nice work, xbrad. You killed the blog.

  63. Some posts just need killin’.

  64. Flash flood warnings.

  65. The blog had it coming. It was asking for it.

  66. Well yeah. Did you see what it was wearing??

  67. We just raised taxes on the wealthy again. Heads up bcoch, we’re sending a bunch of millionaires your way.

  68. *opens arms wide*

    Welcome to the land of no state income tax. Now please, feel free to spend your money.

  69. Greetings, people who hopefully have better things to do than livetweet Rand Paul.

  70. Greetings, people who hopefully have better things to do than livetweet Rand Paul.

    Damn. Now what how I going to spend the evening?

  71. Man oh man, am I going to incur the wrath of Hotspur.

  72. And I’m sober too.

  73. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) said on Sunday that a controversial essay he penned in 1972 discusses topics similar to the popular erotic novel 50 Shades of Gray.

    *stifles gag reflex*

  74. Yard’s flooded, sump’s pumpin’. Gonna be tricky to build any mounds tomorrow.

    Time to grill between downpours.

  75. Do you bury any Indians in your mounds?

  76. Gonna be tricky to build any mounds tomorrow.

    That’s how you refer to your Monday poats? Kinda makes sense.

  77. Cardio Sandbag

  78. http://www.wsj.com/articles/chambers-bay-designed-to-irritate-the-pros-1432936778

    I’m not a golf fan but this may be fun to watch.

  79. Do you bury any Indians in your mounds?

    Just the one.

  80. After Leon builds his MMM posts, he’s all tuckered out.

  81. ::delurks::

    You guys just kill me.

    ::relurks::

  82. ::de::

    Oh,
    and ZERO.

    ::re::

  83. Listen, lurker, there is one pertinent question and you must answer: how many bullwhips are up your ass right now?

  84. Zero is not an acceptable answer.

  85. Heh. I still remember when that question was posed to me.

    “WTF??? How many…..???”

  86. Oh yeah, I have to make a Monday poat.

  87. I don’t think we were asking that question on the regular when I got here.

  88. Felix the Cat stashes his bullwhips in his Bag of Magic Tricks.

    http://is.gd/wKBFVY

  89. ::de::

    HER bullwhips, but yes, magic bag of tricks.

    ::re::

  90. Felix is a she? From Michigan?

    Were you riding a stationary bike on a soccer field yesterday?

  91. What have you done to Car in?

  92. We used to board the horses near Brighton before we bought the farm.

  93. We need to know about your garden, diet, and fitness routines.

    Pronto.

  94. Nicely done, Sean. Have a Diet Dr Pepper paid from our slush fund.

  95. How do feel about gluten?

  96. Mmmmmm…Diet Dr Pepper slush.

  97. People lurk here? I mean other than on BBF.

    Gotta be an interesting group that lurks at the H2.

  98. Also, tell us about your mom.

  99. There are MMM lurkers. Not even kidding. I saw them comment at another moron blog.

  100. lurker = won’t admit that they read this drivel

  101. No need to tell us about your mom. I already know.

  102. I think lurkers here are like virtual particles in the vacuum energy of empty space. They constantly flashing in and out of blog existence but usually annihilate, except in special circumstances like the Casimir Effect which permits some lurkers to become real particles.

    Or maybe I’m just utterly full of porcupine shit.

  103. Your mom is into drivel.

  104. Game of Thrones: John Snow is a badass.

  105. Home again. This time, hopefully, for at least a month or two.

  106. Does anybody know what the fuck Orwell just said?

  107. Jimbro,
    The golf tourney is a pain in the ass for the locals.
    They can’t get to their homes without a permit on the windshield to enter the neighborhood.
    No guests can visit during that week without a permit.
    No on-street parking.
    You can’t let visitors park in your yard, etc…

    Many folks that live within a mile of the golf-course are going on vacation that week and renting their houses for $30k-$50k, for the week!

  108. I was supposed to be on travel next week, but our project gate review slipped to the right again, so I probably won’t travel again anytime soon. Maybe a day trip, but the tools in VA would need to make a damn decision, so that’s unlikely. Not sure how soon I’ll feel safe traveling after Li’l Caruthers is here.

  109. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casimir_effect

    But I’d stick with “full of porcupine shit.”

  110. Does anybody know what the fuck Orwell just said?

    Yes.

  111. Comment by Jimbro on May 31, 2015 7:54 pm
    http://www.wsj.com/articles/chambers-bay-designed-to-irritate-the-pros-1432936778
    I’m not a golf fan but this may be fun to watch.

    They should add a windmill and a laughing clown on the final hole as an ultimate “Fuck You!”

  112. Does anybody know what the fuck Orwell just said?

  113. My next trip is to DC late June..

  114. Does anybody know what the fuck Orwell just said?

    No.

  115. “My next trip is to DC late June”

    Fling some poo.

  116. I may or may not be in Fairfax on the 19th. I suspect we won’t cross paths.

  117. I will be very very drunk in Arlington the night of the 19th.

  118. I try not to get drunk in Arlington. Too many gang members nearby.

  119. If it’s anything like previous conferences, there will be a social with $8 a bottle beer.

  120. lurker = won’t admit that they read this drivel

    it’s not all drivel…

    *relurks

  121. I think lurkers here are like virtual particles in the vacuum energy of empty space. They constantly flashing in and out of blog existence but usually annihilate, except in special circumstances like the Casimir Effect which permits some lurkers to become real particles.

    huh?

  122. I will be very very drunk in Arlington the night of the 19th.

    will that be before or after the Glee Dance-A-Thon?

  123. will that be before or after the Glee Dance-A-Thon?

    Yes.

  124. Yes.

    You really need to live-stream that…

  125. Wait,
    We had a female delurk here tonight, and Xbad has not hit on her yet?
    Hi IamFelix, How you Doin’?

  126. Did anybody agree to blind anybody else by throwing acid in their face so they wouldn’t have to go see the Entourage movie on a date today?

  127. Don’t mind me. I’m just performing the double-slit experiment on the blog. I’m setting up the laser and prisms over here, and the bullwhips over there. I don’t think Richard Feynman used bullwhips in his arrangement.

  128. Did anybody agree to blind anybody else by throwing acid in their face so they wouldn’t have to go see the Entourage movie on a date today?

    I think I saw that in “Touch Of Evil.”

  129. If you have some film handy, you could do some bullwhip holography with that setup.

    MMM scheduled for 5. Time for bed now.

  130. You really need to live-stream that…

    *snort* Hey, both of my on stage appearances are easily findable on youtube. Ain’t no shame. Should be, but there isn’t.

  131. I’ve always wanted a bullwhip hologram on my credit card.

  132. The “Double-Slit Experiment”?
    Then you would know why photons have no luggage.

  133. The “Double-Slit Experiment”?
    Then you would know why photons have no luggage.

    No, he just means he picked up a couple ladies of the evening off of US1 and is attempting to comment and get his $50 worth.

  134. They are ‘traveling light’.

    Don’t forget to til your waitress…

  135. Bcoch obviously has a degree from Caltech.

  136. There once was a woman named Bright
    Whose speed was faster than light
    She left one day
    In a relative way
    And returned the previous night

  137. I was told there would be no physics.

  138. There’s always physics.

  139. Yeah, but do we have to acknowledge it?

  140. Feynman used bullwhips up until the moment he was observed at which point they collapsed.

  141. And then he prolasped.

  142. Feynman used bullwhips up until the moment he was observed at which point they collapsed.

    This is known as the decoherence of the bullwhip function. It is related to the paradox of Schrödinger’s LOLcat.

  143. Devil and the deep blue sea behind me
    Vanish in the air you’ll never find me
    I will turn your derp to alabaster
    When you find your servant is your master


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