Childrant

I’ve been reading a few lefty feminist sites lately because they are hilarious in their total lack of awareness. Upper middle class college chicks are equating drunken attempts to get them to put out as rape, have quit watching TV shows because they don’t like what was done to their favorite character (fictional), and beatified criminals who claim they were raped when nothing could be further from the truth.

It occurred to me that elite women in their late teens to early twenties are dangerously immature and simply are not prepared to live away from their families. They have the social skills of adolescents and lash out like toddlers when they don’t get exactly what they want, when they want it. But I feel no pity for them because part of growing up is to learn that you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. I’m embarrassed for them because rather than throwing a tantrum with a select group of friends when things don’t go their way they often to turn to the tittyweb where their point of view is echoed ad infinitum.

Will they ever learn? Probably not.

In fact, I hope they don’t. Less competition in the workforce and more baristas–things that serve me well.

As Exhibit A, I give you this gem from some random feministing site I stumbled across a few days ago.

Screenshot-2015-04-16-at-10.28.29-AM

A few details that might help:

1. Pignazi just graduated from Oberlin where tuition is $50K. She is hardly oppressed in the scheme of things.

2. Pignazi responded to the article written by a fellow Pignazi to fill in some details which included these minor details: Pignazi was late to the interview, showed up with runs in her pantyhose, heavy makeup, wearing a skirt, t shirt, and a cardigan. Pignazi is so unaware of how these could be construed as negative that she included them as ancillary details that hid the obvious discrimination. She is just too smart and hot which was her downfall.

3. The recruiter highlighted the minor details for Pignazi, such as, she wasn’t hired because she was late, wasn’t appropriately dressed, wasn’t professional, and that OnShift had better candidates. It was clear the recruiter was trying to help her grow up and was kind of pissed that Pignazi couldn’t get her shit together. I’m not sure Pignazi understood the recruiter’s role as an interested party. As in Pignazi embarrassed her and could have cost her future business. But none of this matters because as a sexy woman just being a sexy woman, Pignazi was discriminated against for being a sexy woman. Derp.

My conclusion is that a generation of children will be entering the real world without the proper skills to survive. They have the world at their feet–relative peace and prosperity, access to any desired information, on demand services–and they still can’t seem to evolve beyond preadolescence. Their tantrums are displayed online for all the world to see because they seek validation for their behavior and the truly frightening thing is that they get it. I’m happy to report that many of the comments from this article plainly stated that the Pignazi should have worn a suit, acted like an adult, shown up on time, etc, but there was quite a bit of coddling too. I’m sure that the helpful advice will be disregarded just as was the recruiters. It’s easier for one to believe that they are perfect and the world is oppressive, rather than they are flawed and the world is benign.

So fuck ’em. And most importantly let’s hope that they don’t learn to adapt because I’m perfectly fine with a separation between those who are prepared for life and those who make my coffee.  Extra cream, sugartits.

Future Starbucks Employee

484 Comments

  1. Cooking ducks, you’re doing it wrong….

    /Scott

  2. I don’t know what this poat says but I’m pretty sure MJ’s wrong.

  3. http://tinyurl.com/l72sk7p

  4. This was hilarious. She really doesn’t get it.

    Yeah, her body is a real commodity.

  5. I don’t find that men of an age with Pignazi are any better prepared for adulthood than the girls. But, when they fail, it’s celebrated as evidence that their imagined patriarchy is finally cracking, and that true equality is just around the corner.

  6. Oh, just saw the “Childrant” good one.

  7. Why are children and parents dumb?

    Unless you are going to be an engineer or a doctor or what not, take the $200,000 and start a business or buy a house or houses and be a slum lord like Tushar.

  8. No kidding. I couldn’t imagine paying that much for college.

  9. I can bet my left pinky that the pignazi does not have awesome programming skills either. I would be surprised if she has average programming skills.

    There are people who can scratch together an Excel macro and call themselves programmers. That is not how it works, honey.

  10. *Subscribes to mare’s newsletter

  11. 200,000 lottery tickets would be better.

  12. Home alone for three days.

  13. Adios, pantalones.

  14. *worries about scott

  15. No tire fires planned, I hope?

  16. Home alone for three days.

    call me.

  17. She’s too fugly to make coffee.

    Nice post, worthy of Robert Stacy McCain.

  18. The day Oberlin shuts its doors and ceases operations is the day the whole world becomes a bit wiser.

  19. I have a lot of work to do…….and I’ll go get a big ole slab of beef.

  20. By the way, many firms needing programmers are desperate to hire women and blacks, due to political correctness from HR departments. Pignazi must have been truly unimpressive.

  21. There is a new product out to kill skeeters and it really works.

    Terminix Bait and Kill.

    We can go outside again!

  22. So, SES today at WATR?

  23. George,

    Go to the IT shop of any major company, and the place looks so brown, you will mistake it for a UPS parking lot.

    In my line of work, diversity hiring means hiring a white dude! Someone who can be snookered into working twice the hours for an extra packet of peanuts.

    Needless to say, white men are too smart to fall for this. They go work in silicon valley and make millions.

  24. Scott, the other day, I needed to get rid of a big pile of papers (old utility bills and such) that I did not want to throw away, and would be too time consuming to shred. So I burned the whole stack in a charcoal grill. When i got bored with the slow pace, I used a blow dryer. Man! The amount of heat that produced!

    You may want to experiment with a blow dryer if your recipes need small bursts of intense heat.

  25. By the way, many firms needing programmers are desperate to hire women and blacks, due to political correctness from HR departments.

    I have had the bad luck to work with some of the fallout from this desperation. There are occasional stars, but it’s rare enough to make me automatically assume the worst. The policy itself has the effect of turning me into a racist and a chauvinist.

  26. Reishi kit is safely tucked into a closet, plug spawn and morel kit are out in the barn. I may bring them in but I figure it won’t hurt them to sit out there a few days.

  27. I work government contracts that require US citizenship and a clearance, so it’s not very brown. There are an awful lot of Asians, though.

    Not that the Chinese and North Koreans are putting sleeper agents into our cyber security apparatus. I’d never suggest that.

  28. Reishi kit is safely tucked into a closet

    Things that sound dirty…

  29. Tush, I got that bit about hiring blacks and women for coding from Francis Cianfrocca who appears on the Coffee and Markets podcast. He runs a very big cyber security firm and is a pretty substantial player on Wall Street. He told a story about meeting a young black guy who had all the right credentials to do certain coding work, and made him an offer well above standard. The guy just laughed and told him he had offers much more generous from other financial firms. Apparently having blacks and women code is worth overpaying them. It’s a matter of prestige I guess to wave in front of the EEOC or clients with gubmint connections or who have to prove “workforce diversity.” Cianfrocca does work for the military, and we all see how PC it has become.

  30. Not that the Chinese and North Koreans are putting sleeper agents into our cyber security apparatus. I’d never suggest that.

    Hillary never had to worry about that. She kept her server in her basement, so it was like totally super secure and crypto and shit. Totally safe.

  31. >>>No kidding. I couldn’t imagine paying that much for college.

    Between college (ROTC paid) and medschool (State school) I think it was roughly a $35k bill. I took more loans for living expenses than for tuition. If I had known how much of a pain in the ass it would be to pay back I would’ve lived closer to the ghetto.

  32. If she had Norton on her computer, it was totally safe.

  33. Okay, meerkatting Wiser now.

  34. Russians hacked her server ages ago. Now that Hillary has erased it, it would be fun if MoConnel/Boehner demans that Obama formally ask the Russians for a copy of what they have.

  35. TH just said on air “Your wife drives that old bone?”

  36. He’s too filthy for radio, get rid of him.

  37. Score! 8 lb slab of beef for under $30.

    Beef knuckle project begins.

  38. Found pork shoulder at Meijer for $1.19/lb this morning.

    Pulled pork will be made this week.

  39. Beef knuckle project begins.

    Best euphemism ever.

  40. “Limerock”

    *drinks*

  41. Great post, MJ. Thanks for including the pic.

    Wood (not hire; the other thing)

  42. Huh. I have a Hull’s Brewing beer tray for sale on eBay.

  43. Mmph. Meerkat quit?

  44. Yes, quit for me too.

  45. They’re probably broadcasting in the nude now.

  46. Schlitz! My Uncle Paul used to drink Schlitz back in the 70’s.

    http://is.gd/BWwi1U

    “What’s Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me)”

  47. Ugh. More TH commercials.

  48. *is glad stream ended*

  49. Wiser’s golden shower of beer?!?

  50. I demand to see beer drinking on the tittyweb jenkins!

  51. “668, Neighbor of the Beast”

    *golf clap*

  52. I bought a 4 pack of Scottish beer as a sampler last fall and I just opened the box and loaded it in the fridge last weekend. I am not one to waste a beer when it’s opened but there was only one that I was able to drink the full 12 ounces. The other three ended up down the drain after just a sip.

    This one tasted like Lysol: http://is.gd/cOtLS4

  53. Lysol is cheaper.

  54. Damn, I want to watch all this boozing.

  55. You should stick with Scotch, Jimbro.

  56. I sent an email but I am guessing that they’re too busy “sampling” to notice or care.

  57. *sends box of lampshades to WATR*

  58. I thought Wiser played a kind of flute.

  59. >>>You should stick with Scotch, Jimbro.

    Inorite?

  60. I’d like a full challis of this drink.

  61. Sounds like a chick drink, so for MJ, yeah.

  62. Who was that on the call??

  63. Probably TH plugging another business deal.

  64. I don’t think he’s knows the record store joke…

  65. Nice work, Radiobud and M-Lush-J

    Need that drink recipe stat

  66. Split Pea & Ham soup in the Crock Pot.

    http://www.food.com/recipe/slow-cooker-split-pea-and-ham-soup-169041

    Oh boy, this is gonna be great!
    /Flounder

  67. Yum

  68. Chalice

  69. Not that the Chinese and North Koreans are putting sleeper agents into our cyber security apparatus. I’d never suggest that.

    I will. And silicon valley as well.

  70. Thanks, ‘Spurt; kinda drippy otherwise, huh.

  71. http://i.imgur.com/Jex0hQl.gifv

  72. ChrisP I love split pea soup! I’m using that recipe, thanks!

  73. They had cooked ham for $1.19/lb

  74. The garden thread at the hq this week is rediculous in length. It’s like a whole month here in one poat. Not even car in would read through all that shit.

  75. If you had selected Cleveland in the Next Riot lottery, please collect your winnings at window #3.

  76. Special Edition Saturday, Brought to you today by MADD

  77. sorry about the meerkat situation.

    Ben and I are thinking about hanging out in the studio after the show each week, drinking beers and doing another hour.

  78. we did that today and meerkatted it, had 13 people watch for at least a little bit.

    kinda fun.

  79. Too bad Hill couldn’t be there for the fun.

    /

  80. Someday YouTube, Twitter, and FaceBook will merge, and call themselves YouTwitFace.

  81. I just downloaded meerkat. For the umpteenth time…what’s the address I enter for the show? SES-something?

  82. I think the address is Your Mom.

  83. SES@YourMom

  84. She charges…I thought this was free?

  85. She may not be free, but at least she’s reasonable.

  86. Our pizza place gives you a free one with every 9 pies you buy. I’ve got to think your mom is more reasonable than that. And who ever remembers to bring the punch card?

  87. “Punch card”

  88. Ben and I are thinking about hanging out in the studio after the show each week, drinking beers and doing another hour.

    By “doing another hour” you mean of course “playing oboes.”

  89. That oboe wisecrack was perfect.

  90. >>>>For the umpteenth time…what’s the address I enter for the show?

    @SESWATR

  91. Wait, wiser’s on the radio? That’s awesome.

    Cuz you know there’s a joke about guys on the radio, and not tv. Let me look it up.

  92. Was it just accidental that today’s meerkat camera angle kept TH out of frame?

  93. Look up that joke about guys playing oboes, too.

  94. There once was a man from Nantucket…

  95. Boss bought BBQ today. Not the shitty kind, either.

    Burnt ends sandwich, mmmm.

  96. Was the beer guy short?

    He sounded short.

  97. From what I saw on Meerkat… compared to wisergiant, yeah.

  98. You’re kind of a giant too, though, IIRC.

    No, I am not short !

  99. >>>Was the beer guy short?

    He was incredibly short

  100. >>>>>Was it just accidental that today’s meerkat camera angle kept TH out of frame?

    We learned that even though we set the camera up in landscape, it still streams in portrait.

  101. Lemon bear dick punch card.

  102. “He was incredibly short”

    HA! He sounded like an elf.

  103. My voice got taller at some point. People I meet in DC who’ve only heard me on the phone always seem surprised.

  104. >>>He also had a really large forehead. Like mutant-large

  105. I mentioned Scott giving me 50 Coronas for my birthday on the show today.

    Kinda funny

  106. OMG IT’S A CORONA!!!!

  107. I approve this poat and wish to subscribe to MJ’s newsletter.

    Guy at a conference last year was complaining about lack of jobs. Wow, dude, it could be that engineering is still pretty conservative, and no one thinks much of your neck tattoos and piercings in your eyebrows, nose, ears, cheeks, lips, and Lord knows where else.

    Will catch up on SES when I don’t have 3 other people waiting to use the computer.

  108. The 5th photo on my phone is from that night.

  109. I’m drinking the last of my Jim Beam Maple.

  110. First drink 3 or 4 weeks, I think. I should probably eat breakfast soon.

  111. Ok, I love milkweed and have the first three varieties discussed at AoS gardening thread . Just saying . Butterfly weed is one of my favorites. It took me two tries to get it established ,

  112. >>>The 5th photo on my phone is from that night.

    Have never seen your lovely bride that drunk before or since…..

  113. Car in, how do you establish milk weed? There is some in the rough behind our house, but I kinda want to bring it closer.

  114. Greetings, people who got turned down for work because they were dangerously, grossly unqualified, not because of TEH PATRIARCHY.

  115. >>>>Once and future SES guest

    An invitation has been extended….

  116. Good poat, MJ.
    Every once in a while, I’ll wade through feminist blogs. White and black. Good grief, they’re all allowed to vote. And breed.

  117. >>>>And breed.

    That’s the part that amazes me to no end. If men are the greatest evil on the planet, WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH THEM?????

  118. Beasnette is home for the weekend. We went to see, ‘The Age of Adeline’. Nice chick flick.

  119. Exactly, wiser.

  120. Roamy you need a cheap mp3 player and some earbuds.

    Or a phone.

  121. Funny thing is, she probably slutted herself up in order to get the job.

  122. There are hotter chicks you can pay to not program so the office has some eyecandy, though. She should drop 20# and dress in sexretary attire next time.

  123. Or, you know, dress professionally, demonstrate maturity by showing up on time, and speak knowledgeably about the subject over which she purports mastery.

  124. I have a phone, but it’s a dumb one. I do need a cheap mp3 player. This is also one of those situations where if I try to listen, there will be approximately 1,520 interruptions.

  125. Showing up on time is the biggie.

  126. But but but, she DESERVES that job! She went to Oberlin!

    Isn’t that where Lena Dunham made her life upwent to college?

  127. Oberlin seems like it might be a scam.

  128. If men are the greatest evil on the planet, WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH THEM?????

    Solidarity with The Struggle of the Gay Rights movement, I guess.

  129. Holiday weekends are bad for eBay sales.

    On regular weekends people drunk-buy stuff.

  130. That’s the part that amazes me to no end. If men are the greatest evil on the planet, WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH THEM?????

    Because those men know their place. Subservient.

    Plus, most of the hard-core femnazis seem to have a girlfriend on the side. Weirdos all around.

  131. Guy at a conference last year was complaining about lack of jobs. Wow, dude, it could be that engineering is still pretty conservative, and no one thinks much of your neck tattoos and piercings in your eyebrows, nose, ears, cheeks, lips, and Lord knows where else.

    It’s sad that they don’t understand how your appearance is a sign of your respect for other people. Suits and dresses, proper makeup, good hygiene, all these things are to make you pleasant to be around for other people. Tattooing your face, neck, arms, etc pretty much limits you to jobs where those things might be of value, like strip-club bouncer.

  132. How. Could You Ever. Think that was appropriate attire for a job interview.

    Holy Fuck. Somebody needs to find her parents, and just keep slapping them, all the time.

  133. It’s appropriate attire for an interview at Vivid.

  134. Or Torrid. Maybe Hot Topic.

  135. It’s sad that they don’t understand how your appearance is a sign of your respect for other people. Suits and dresses, proper makeup, good hygiene, all these things are to make you pleasant to be around for other people. Tattooing your face, neck, arms, etc pretty much limits you to jobs where those things might be of value, like strip-club bouncer.

    ——–

    Well said, Alex.

    I have subscribed to several of your news letters.

    My favorite part?

    “…your appearance is a sign of your respect for other people.”

    Nailed it, and most people don’t get it.

  136. I honestly thought that a “childrant” was an anthropomorphic thing that you hooked hoses to, to put out fires.

    And dogs pee on them.

  137. I’m sure I’ll step on a few toes here, but when I look at a person with piercings and neck tats and ear hole thingy’s, I’m thinking, you’re trying too hard to be different, in fact, you look EXACTLY like every other person trying too hard. Sorry, don’t need your neediness in my office. NEXT!

  138. *blushes* aw thanks, mare.

  139. Something has changed though.

    For many “looking good” is the same as looking like a whore. They dress like that for church.

  140. Never heard a chick describe her shirt as booby. Why didn’t she describe her skirt as slutty?

  141. I was out at a strip club last night and saw a red head with no tattoos. Yes, unicorns do exists, and they are glorious!

  142. Gauge expanders in the earlobes have got to be an indicator of poor future time orientation.

  143. Dress to Impress – takes on a whoooole different meaning.

  144. Scott, you’re right. I don’t know which is worse: the idea that we have to pretend all this slutty dress isn’t designed to attract attention, or the possibility that they might honestly not understand that dressing that way attracts attention.

  145. For many “looking good” is the same as looking like a whore. They dress like that for church.

    Confirmed. And it’s occasionally very distracting.

  146. Never heard a chick describe her shirt as booby. Why didn’t she describe her skirt as slutty?

    Shirt:Booby::Skirt:Cunty

    Maths. It’s what’s for dinner after you’ve eaten that plate of food I stuck in the fridge that you failed to finish yesterday.

  147. Just got back from church and noticed that several young to middle aged men were wearing flip flops and shorts.

    A) You look like crap.

    B) You look like crap.

    In Hawaii that was a uniform and I truly know people who didn’t own a suit, a jacket, or “dress pants.”

    But here in Texas….you look lame.

  148. I’m sure I’ll step on a few toes here, but when I look at a person with piercings and neck tats and ear hole thingy’s, I’m thinking, you’re trying too hard to be different, in fact, you look EXACTLY like every other person trying too hard. Sorry, don’t need your neediness in my office. NEXT!

    In other words…

    https://youtu.be/F9K0B8axdvU

  149. Beasn, just wait till fall when it seeds. I have milk weed, joe pie weed, butterfly weed, and swamp milkweed. Of just take a shovel and move a few plants.

  150. One thing on my bucket list is to slip a padlock through one of those ear gauges and snap it shut.
    .
    Ha! I could chain my bike to some freaks ear.

  151. Just got back from church and noticed that several young to middle aged men were wearing flip flops and shorts.

    I noticed that when we moved to Arizona. Sooo much more casual everywhere.

  152. Sean, I’m square?

    Yeah, I probably am pretty square. I say get your freak on in private.

    Also, your “ear gauge” while I’m eating is making me gag. And making me wonder which uncle abused you.

  153. Joe Pye

  154. I like me a nice soup made from wood sorrel & poke.

  155. Why are people in Chicago cheering and clapping DURING the singing of the anthem?

    What a bunch of dicks.

  156. Just got back from church and noticed that several young to middle aged men were wearing flip flops and shorts.

    I’m not a churchgoer, but I notice the same thing at restaurants. Nice restaurants. And it drives me up the fucking wall.

    My rule is that if you’re at a place where you don’t order from the counter, at least wear long pants, a shirt with a collar (hell, it doesn’t have to be long sleeved or even tucked in!) and shoes and socks. Just make a minimal effort not to look like a fucking slob.

  157. I hope they lose.

  158. Amen, Sean.

    “What a bunch of dicks.” Scott nails it.

    Also, when I have a 4 hour plane ride, guess what? I really don’t want to sit next to a fat slob wearing a tank top and shorts with your f’ing gross skin next to me (touching me) for 4 fricking hours. You, Sir, are disgusting. Although, yes, we had a nice conversation and you are indeed a nice person…..WEAR CLOTHES ON A PLANE.

  159. A-are you watching baseball?

  160. Must be a cultural thing. Cargo shorts are common here at casual dining/non-fast-food establishments, And shirts with collars are for rich people. Must be a Rust Belt thing.

  161. One other rant, suits, dresses, etc, often look much better than t-shirts, shorts, skinny jeans on people with average bodies. Good tailoring covers a multitude of sins. Want to feel better about your body? 1) Work out, and 2) dress well.

  162. when I look at a person with piercings and neck tats and ear hole thingy’s, I’m thinking, you’re trying too hard to be different, in fact, you look EXACTLY like every other person trying too hard.

    You also look exactly like every person in the creative department in an ad agency. Unconscious conformity. How edgy.

  163. Leon, you need to get out of Michigan more.

    “And shirts with collars are for rich people.”

    Hoo Boy. I lived in Michigan and was entirely not impressed with the United Auto worker crowd. Yeah, for them a clean t-shirt was “dressing up.”

  164. I always complement kids when they wear a nice outfit to the office. Even more so if they wash their feet and wear clean socks.

  165. Oh, I’m well enough traveled to be aware of that, but there’s a reason I don’t live in other places. I wear t-shirts and cargo shorts out of the house without concern and I like it that way. I don’t and wouldn’t wear that to church, however, or a dinner I expected to cost over $50.

  166. Why yes, I’m watching baseball.

  167. I do dress like a grown-up for interviews, but even then, I’m usually better dressed than the people interviewing me.

  168. “I don’t and wouldn’t wear that to church..”

    Already ahead of many.

  169. *dons nice collared shirt and a clean pair of chinos

    *heads out to strip club

  170. New jeans is dressed up.

  171. If everybody just wore a large green automobile tarp tied off around their humps with yellow nylon rope, all this whore/ sloppy/ too casual judgemental talk would never happen.

  172. Had to work for a Brit-tard recently. He had tats, stringy greasy hair, disgusting fungus infected fingernails and smelled. But hey, special visas for cheap foreign labor are used in advertising as well. Creative types are suckers for British accents. I was gonna say there’s a fine line between edgy and derelict, but this tard was nowhere near it.

  173. Green tarp?

    Whoa, that’s mighty fancy.

  174. I’m not a clothing snob or anything. In fact, I’m wearing the following T-shirt and jeans at work right now:

    http://is.gd/uqrDIk

    But this is a casual workplace. If your job (or the place where you’re eating or worshiping, etc.) requires a bit more decorum, spend an extra ten minutes to get dressed.

  175. I wear tee shirts and jeans. I pretty much dress like a 12 yr old boy. Saw more strapless/spaghetti strap First Communion dresses today. No way my priest would allow them.

  176. I only use blue tarps.

    *looks snootily upon green tarped people*

  177. Had to work for a Brit-tard recently. He had tats, stringy greasy hair, disgusting fungus infected fingernails and smelled. But hey, special visas for cheap foreign labor are used in advertising as well. Creative types are suckers for British accents. I was gonna say there’s a fine line between edgy and derelict, but this tard was nowhere near it.

    Who hoisted your mouldering coffin up on that high horse, Eric?

  178. I work from home. It’s a wonder that I wear pants ever.

  179. We went to a very nice Brazilian steakhouse in Las Vegas last year. It was very expensive and I saw people in ratty clothes. One girl was in tattered yoga pants, flip flops and a T shirt.

  180. Between the end of my brick-and-mortar business and the start of school, while I was still working from home– ok yeah admittedly, there were days when I worked in my pajamas.

    But I didn’t go anywhere else. I just stayed here.

    Pajamas in public open my bile ducts.

  181. Women can look good in yoga pants, but they look better in jeans.

  182. I work at home and generally dress worse than the refugees you see fleeing a war-torn country.

  183. I dress nicely for our Brazilian steakhouse, but it’s hardly a universal practice.

  184. Who hoisted your mouldering coffin up on that high horse, Eric?
    I bought the coffin with the 5HP winch mounted on the rails.

  185. Pajamas for work happened a few times in Winter when I didn’t need to leave the house at all.

  186. Someone should start a restaurant that requires collared shirts, closed-toe shoes, and no more than 100 lineal inches of exposed skin.

  187. First time ever – only white person in the ghetto bar.

  188. When I work at home I usually wear my winding sheet.

  189. Slippers and pajamas in public make me rabid. Couple in the Club today were in pjs and still had bedhead. Nasty

  190. First time ever – only white person in the ghetto bar.

    So your mom isn’t white.

  191. George, that makes no sense. But that’s nothing new around here.

  192. I just thought you would take your mom to the ghetto bar, so if you’re the only white person, then your mom’s not whi… Wait. If she’s not white then neither are you…

    You’re right, that makes no sense. I’m sticking with it.

  193. Hotspur, what are you wearing right now?

  194. I was wearing my Wicket tee yesterday. Most people: Is that an ewok? Niall and Kid That Bugs Me With Silly Questions: Is that Wicket?

  195. I work from home. It’s a wonder that I wear pants ever.

    Well, a dress is nice too. If you’re into that.

  196. Has the old neighborhood changed that much since I lived there, or are all the white folks out grilling?

  197. Yo no tengo ningun vestidos.

  198. Mare, the proper form of that question includes a query about the number of bullwhips involved.

  199. *leans and whispers, “Are we supposed to know what Wicket is?”*

  200. KTBMWSQ comes in once a week. He reads while his mom shops. I returned a book on tanks that he hadn’t finished reading. Since then, he lets me know which books he’s reading and he chats with me while I work. Action Bible is one of my best sellers. Bible in graphic novel form. KTBMWSQ doesn’t think the bible should be “Dumbed down” for kids.

  201. Wicket’s the first Ewok Princess Leia encountered.

    **waves nerd card proudly**

  202. Wicket IS the ewok warrior.

  203. Gah, I forgot about the ear gauges. That guy had huge ones. I sat behind him, tried to guesstimate the size and calculate how long it took him to stretch ’em out that much. I figured two years of bad decisions.

  204. And here I thought we were going to talk croquet.

  205. Ear lobes after gauges are disgusting.

  206. That shirt is Wicket Awesome, oso.

    *bro-fives Andy*

  207. Hahaha. It is pretty awesome.

  208. I’ll probably wear my Punisher jersey tomorrow. Would’ve been EPIC if it said “Castle” on the back instead of Punisher. Still pretty sweet.

  209. http://i.imgur.com/a78hsG9.gifv

  210. After 2 years at my current job the let me sit in on a meeting with a big client and county reviewers.

    I wore a tie and a jacket

    *the GF said “you can never go wrong with navy blue”.
    Then later said “I never would have picked that tie”.

    Meh I tried.

  211. Evening assholes.

    What’s shaking?

  212. Michael J. Fox.

  213. Dan is one of those guys that looks great in a suit and tie. I miss “Tie retail”. I don’t miss “Pantyhose retail”.

  214. Sean with the OMG he really went there.

  215. Michael J. Fox.

    That was beautifully done. Hat’s off to you sirrah.

  216. Ties rock.

    Don’t see them very often here – most of the companies have gone to business casual, mostly due to the heat.

  217. Also, your “ear gauge” while I’m eating is making me gag. And making me wonder which uncle abused you.

    I only get one vote in this shithole dump, and that one may get thrown out by the electionclerk/banhammermeister but I think the above comment deserves to be enshrined in Mare’s Musings.

    Well done, you whore. Well done.

  218. Yes I did, oso. And thank you, b-cock.

    Hockey game is fucking nuts.

  219. IKR?

  220. Hockey game is fucking nuts.

    I’m still so pissed that the Caps fucking choked it away.

  221. IT’S 2015, WHERE’S MY HOVERBOARD?

  222. Dan’s Remote is now going between hockey, NBA, UFC, and Maleficent. In keeping with MJs post, women will never have true equality until they can control the remote without argument or cruel asides.

  223. Dan’s Remote is now going between hockey, NBA, UFC, and Maleficent. In keeping with MJs post, women will never have true equality until they can control the remote without argument or cruel asides.

    So that’s a no on taking off your shirt. *sigh* I guess we can settle for just the sammich.

  224. In keeping with MJs post, women will never have true equality until they can control the remote without argument or cruel asides having to ask a man how to use any of the buttons.

    Fixt

  225. Michael J. Fox.

    It’s sexist patriarchal bigotry that made you say that instead of Katherine Hepburn.

  226. Rosie O’Donut’s jowls are also shaking.

  227. HA!

  228. Sean, who are you for? Chicago, the team of your forbears, or Anaheim, your local team?

  229. Sean, there are like 3 remotes!!!! Soundbar, TV, Cable, BluRay, Ain’t nobody got time for that!!!

  230. On that note, how can I have 20+ ties and none match what I am wearing?

    How many ties does one need? I mean I have brown dress shoes and black ones and 2 belts as well. Why not 2 ties?

  231. In keeping with MJs post, women will never have true equality until they can control the remote without having to ask a man how to use any of the buttons.

    How do I know when Mrs. Orwell will lose her temper? When she has to ask how to do something on her computer.

  232. *the GF said “you can never go wrong with navy blue”.
    Then later said “I never would have picked that tie”.

    On that note, how can I have 20+ ties and none match what I am wearing?

    Your boss is gay, that’s why.

  233. Oh
    I guess I am supposed to care about the Rockets, they are not so hot tonight.

  234. Ducks, oso. I’ve never given a shit about the Hawks.

  235. I thought I might be George when I thought I need a berry tie to go with my lavender shirt.

    Can I just pay Jewston to coordinate my wardrobe?

    Sorry was that offensive? None intended Jew.

  236. GO, I would rather slice a vein than ask Dan for help. Computer, TV, stove, etc. He helped me with a Team Lift at the Club today. Crushed my hand. Dan: Is there blood? Me: Scrape and a bruise. Dan: Get over it, loser.

  237. Also oso, I have all those remotes as well. I learned how to use each of them reasonably well without ever looking at an instruction manual or asking anybody else what any of the buttons does.

  238. http://is.gd/0sv02z

  239. Sean, I love the Ducks. OT. I want a Small “a with halo” Angel gear. Saw a kid with a retro hat today. Already have the Cali with halo tee.

  240. So apparently Jupiter and Venus is visible via the naked eye tonight. Jupiter is just above and to the right of the moon. Venus further right and lower.

  241. I’m certain Jewstin can advise you on attire for animal husbandry.

  242. Meh. I only trust CAC with the night sky.

  243. You can normally see both Venus and Jupiter with the unaided eye. They happen to be close to each other in the sky now and this only happens occasionally. It’s called a conjunction.

  244. I asked if CAC had hacked Ekdahl’s twitter account.

  245. Obligatory

  246. True Story:DRINK! The old oven had a separate dealio for bake and temperature. Dan called and asked me to pre-heat the oven. There was no “Pre-heat” dial. I was like “Oven is broken”. Long story short, I wasn’t allowed to pre-heat. New stove has digital stuff that is pretty self-explanatory.

  247. Comment by Vmaximus on May 23, 2015 10:57 pm

    Can I just pay Jewston to coordinate my wardrobe?

    =========

    Fashion advice from the pig farmer, good choice. ;)

  248. Heh. Blog mom ftw.

  249. Going to hell for laughing at Sean’s Michael J. Fox comment.

  250. Randomness. Missed you guys btw. Nice to be back.

  251. It’s easy to see Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn unaided all the time provided they are in your night sky. Sometimes if you look carefully you can see Mercury but it is so close to the Sun it is never very separated from the Sun in the sky, so you can only see it just after sunset or just before sunrise close to where the Sun was. I saw it in Santa Fe because it was very flat and the horizon goes very low.

  252. It has been my experience that women can’t run a remote effectively. Just sayin’. :)

  253. Did anybody catch anybody else snacking on dog treats today?

  254. AYFKM? Dan is reliving some of our baseball trips. Dan: Why was there so much animosity at the Dodgers/Padre game? Me: That was Fernando’s first game pitching as a Padre. Dan: Let me google. God, you are such a Dork!

  255. GO, if you love the night sky, visit NM. Our sky is an awesome sky.

  256. If you know where to look and you are in a very dark, very clear place, you can see Uranus.

    *waits patiently*

  257. Yes, Oso. That’s the first place I ever saw Mercury.

  258. *grabs the clicker and clicks Pepe off*

  259. It is Oso
    I would go 30 or 40 miles offshore and see spectacular skies. I was out in the 4 corners area and the stars touched the ground.
    I have never seen stars on the horizon, even 40 miles in the gulf they were well above the horizon

  260. GO, we would usually end up in Hondo in August. Milky Way and Pleiades. Dan and I drove West to watch the Leonids. Parked the Xterra. It was awesome. Until the coyotes showed up. Still glad it wasn’t Mountain Lions.

  261. Vman, Dan got me to walk the night beach on Hawaii with him. Weird. Stars aren’t where they’re supposed to be.

  262. We have books called “Then and Now”. They are compilation books. Most recent is “Ballparks”. Not so recent is “Civil War Battlefields”. I witnessed a fight between hubby and wife. She didn’t understand the “Now” part of the “Then and Now”. Kept marveling over the color clarity of the “Then”. I think her hubby wanted to kill her.

  263. See, “clicker” I rest my case :) Just kidding, I’m sure there are women who can run a remote, I just haven’t been around them.

    NM sky is great for stargazing, especially out where I live.

  264. You caught that! “Clicker” was intentional. ;)

  265. Pepe, we camped at Datil Wells one August. Took the cover off our tent. It was awesome!!!! Meteor showers so bright I took my glasses off and could still see.

  266. Comment faster. I work early. Don’t make me Twitter

  267. You can’t make me!!1

  268. Ha! Vman needs more Wiser less Jew about sartorial caca.

  269. Stoopid overtime. It’s killing me.

  270. I just successfully navigated 2 remotes for sexy cuddle down time.

  271. Oso, the Royals won again.

  272. Heh. This was actually favorited by the NBC correspondent.

  273. dammit

  274. ClintB, I’m ok with Royals MO wins. Sean, I’ve been tracking Cali shark sightings. Seals=Sharks. I’m no rocket surgeon, but I know this.

  275. http://is.gd/second_look_at_crossfit

    Camel-toe jerk

  276. I give you guys hanging fruit like “you can see Uranus” and you let it just sit there for three hours? I don’t even know you people any longer.

  277. Oh, just one hour. Still, I expected more.

  278. Hmm. Svengoolie on at 10pm. I’m actually considering this.

  279. What can I say, Eric? Neil DeGrasse Tyson has given me a new respect for Uranus. Anuses in general, actually.

  280. long match.

  281. If Neil DeGrasse Tyson falls in a forest and no one cries “Racism!,” do I Fucking Love Science?

  282. His Scienceness posted this inanity earlier, and it had something like 1,800 retweets within 5 minutes.

  283. I wonder who was the first person to see a jackass tweeting bugnuttery & think it a good idea to retweet it and spread nutfuckery far and wide.

  284. G’night guys.

  285. I wonder who was the first person to see a remake of “Cosmos” & think it was a good idea to host it with a pompous fabulist.

  286. What a profound daydream.

    First Awes Scientological Officer N. dG. Tysn is teh Gnu Master Grasshopper.

  287. …when you can snatch the corn chips from mine hand, it will be time for me to ask a production assistant for another snack.

  288. good night, Oso

  289. Camel toe jerk is a world class tucker.

  290. Oh what a derp of ripe elan
    Languor on divans
    Dalliant and dainty
    But oh, the smell of burnt cocaine
    The dolor and decay
    It only makes me cranky

  291. http://imgur.com/gallery/OtTjSNX

  292. http://i.imgur.com/Jex0hQl.gifv

  293. Comment by Sean M. on May 23, 2015 11:11 pm

    Did anybody catch anybody else snacking on dog treats today?

    I was going to link a story I heard on the radio about a guy stealing dog biscuits but my first search result took me here:

    http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/purina.asp

  294. G’morning Tushar. Quiet morning here, getting ready for the temps to warm up. It was so windy and cold yesterday I wore a jacket when I went out for a cigar. And pants.

  295. It’s old.

  296. When you hear a story on the “news” it’s easy to get suckered if you’re not skeptical 24/7. It’s hard to maintain that level of skepticism all the time.

  297. Jimbro, I have relatives visiting who live in your neck of the woods, almost. Lebanon, NH.

    Also, sometimes I come across stuff people write on the internet, and I cannot tell if they are geniuses or tripping acid.

    A sample: “Eating is so badass. I mean you put something in a cavity where you smash and destroy it with 32 protruding bones and then a meat tentacle pushes it into a pool of acid and after a few hours you absorb its essence and transform it into energy. “

  298. Race day at the white water center. My personal challenge is to find a really great ass and run behind it for 5 miles.

    Sideboobnote: GND has started crackfat.

  299. Lebanon, NH/White River Junction, VT is a bustling area relatively speaking. I drove through there a lot in my skiing days and visiting a friend at his in-laws camp on Lake Fairlee, VT.

    “meat tentacle” is gross

  300. Good luck MJ. Do a meerkat of your GoPro feed if you find a nice pandex-clad (female) ass.

  301. spandex

  302. I understood none of that.

  303. >>Sideboobnote: GND has started crackfat.

    Strangers who stumble into H2 comments must be a confused lot.

  304. I give you guys hanging fruit like “you can see Uranus” and you let it just sit there for three hours?

    Low hanging fruit is for the slower crowd. Us high falootin’ smartasses wait around for the bunker lie.

  305. Day 2 of holiday: project testing and possible production batch run. Only today and tomorrow left! Then the weekend, woo hoo!

  306. Jay, shove that low hanging fruit up uranus.

  307. “Only today and tomorrow left! Then the weekend”

    You’re doing it wrong.

  308. Sideboobnote: GND has started crackfat.

    Good news: her ass will look amazing.
    Bad news: her boobs are going away, and her shoulders will be wrecked so no more handies. Also she’ll be eating paleo soon, and possibly on The Zone.

  309. I’m having a cup of coffee, then donning protective gear to rip up vines for an hour or so before heading to church.

  310. I am smoking an 8 lb knuckle.

    Tomorrow is auction prep.

  311. mmm, roast beast.

    Do you use a rub, scott? I have my own.

  312. […] The H2 isn’t too impressed with feminist websites […]

  313. I used Meathead’s big bad beef rub.

  314. Somehow, I suspect that looking at this here weblog just before church is going to lead to “random” lighting strikes during the day.

  315. That looks like a good one.

  316. Now what? We put our house up for sale and got an over asking price the first day. Serious buyer. Wants in in 30 days. Guess I have to start packing and figuring out where the hell we’re going.

    Upside, no open houses had 4 private showings the first day. 2 offers supposed to receive the second today.

    The gypsy life.

  317. I’ve got the fixins for chorizo and eggs in the fridge, I’m hungry, but the rest of the family is still sleeping. Do you non-morning people appreciate getting woke up to a nice breakfast or would you rather sleep in longer?

    Maybe I’ll just make a small portion.

  318. You staying in TX Mare? I can make you a good deal on 3br 2.5bath in Ohio.

  319. I’ll take the breakfast!

    No, I think we are heading to Florida, Buffalone. Not sure where though. Rent 6 months or so. Honestly don’t know. Husband wants to check out South Carolina.

    This all happened in a week (knew we were moving but didn’t know when we were putting the house up and until we talked to the real-estate agent had no idea we were a commodity in a hot market).

  320. Oh, and it’s been raining and stormy for days. I’m looking forward to seeing blue sky which this year here has been few and far between.

    We went from almost all counties heavy drought to flood conditions quickly.

  321. Aiken, SC Mare. Trust me.

  322. Are you in or near Austin, Mare? I heard that is a crazy market. How are you all able to move where you will? Husband a consultant or ?

    Happy Memorial Day.

  323. You people move too much.

  324. Look at Sarasota Mare, or anything from Clearwater to Venice.

  325. My last move was in 1988.

    My next move will be my last.

  326. My bowels moved this morning.

  327. What I’ll miss in Texas:

    1. Polite people, kids in particular.
    2. Manly men.
    3. Gun culture.
    4. Open Religious culture.
    5. Cost of living.
    6. My house, which although is not large (compared to everyone else’s in our development) is really nice and functional.
    7. No state income tax.
    8. A state legislature that is not completely insane.
    9. Conservative governors.
    10. An FU we do it the Texas way attitude toward the rest of the country.
    11. The military culture here.

    What I won’t miss:

    1. Property taxes.
    2. Too hot or too cold to go outside.
    3. No beach (please don’t tell me how great Galveston is).
    4. Many, many gray sky days. Downer.

  328. George Orwell hasn’t moved since 1950. But he spins. A lot.

  329. Not near Austin. My husband can work anywhere with a good internet connection and phone.

    When we vacation, he takes his large apple with him.

    We have no fear of moving, Scott. It’s just stuff and we have given practically whole households away before. I do like a place of my own and if I can decorate it to look cozy we’re good. My girls love this house and said as long as I decorate (make it a home) just like this one, they’re happy.

    I just never quite felt “connected” here. My husband is fine anywhere. Literally anywhere, but he wants me to be happy and he’s willing to move especially if we are closer to at least one daughter.

  330. I’d like to check out SC as well. Aiken you say?

  331. Yes, Aiken. Great weather. Lovely homes. Low taxes period in SC. Great golf courses. If you’re into horses, you’ll be in heaven there. Plus it’s convenient to oceans, mountains, lakes and The Masters.

  332. Comment by Vmaximus on May 24, 2015 10:02 am
    Look at Sarasota Mare, or anything from Clearwater to Venice.

    ——-

    Probably where we will rent, Vman.

    The other thing about moving is getting to know the culture of different places. You get it. WA, CA, MI, FL, HI, TX, they are really different.

  333. We will check out Aiken, Clint.

  334. Comment by mare on May 24, 2015 9:57 am

    ……………..we were a commodity in a hot market).
    ==========

    Much like your mom……………..

  335. Oh, and God has always been good to us when we sell and when we move. We’ve avoided taking a beating cost wise. We did well on this house.

  336. *stabs Pepe with one of his own beautiful knives*

  337. Dis anyone notice that in there:

    >>Comment by clintbird on May 24, 2015 10:17 am
    Yes, Aiken. Great weather. Lovely homes. Low taxes period in SC. Great golf courses. If you’re into horses, you’ll be in heaven there. Plus it’s convenient to oceans, mountains, lakes and The Masters.

  338. heh, I like horses.

    Right near here in Flower Mound are BEAUTIFUL horse ranches. Flower Mound is also chock full of golf courses, of course so is our area.Trophy Club (the town) refers to the golf course and Byron Nelson whom the High School is named after. Just a few blocks away.

  339. This thing is cooking fast. Laura will have a nice lunch.

  340. Can you believe those idiots tweeting for @TheDemocrats put a picture of Obama eating an ice cream cone for Memorial Day?

    Who are these people?

  341. Acolytes

  342. “Who are these people?”

    Spawn of Satan.

  343. F*ck John Boehner and McConnell worthless scum.

  344. Ran behind a really cute girl’s ass for the entire race. Totally ripped upper back too.

    Thanked her for pacing me afterward and it turned out she was about 45 but had the body of 22 year old. I love that shit.

    Pretty good race, overall.

  345. I just shot a deer in my pajamas. really.
    What he was doing in my pajamas, I’ll never know…

    He was in the garden, grazing.
    Suddenly, there was a loud ‘snap’, and a “bee” stung him in the ass.
    Anita ordered Coyote Urine from Amazon this morning.
    The AoS Garden Thread folks say it works well.

  346. They are perfectly content to sell out the Republic while lining their pockets through “sweetheart deals”, insider trading and plain old graft.

  347. MCPO,
    Amen. It’s about power, money, and staying in office to keep it.
    They couldn’t care less about the country or constitution.
    Fuck them all with satans barbed cock…

  348. So you’re saying you got beat by a girl, MJ?


  349. A sample: “Eating is so badass. I mean you put something in a cavity where you smash and destroy it with 32 protruding bones and then a meat tentacle pushes it into a pool of acid and after a few hours you absorb its essence and transform it into energy. “

    Alien IV: At dinner, no one can hear you chew.

  350. Soaked in the hot tub until Mrs. Buffalone woke up, chorizo and eggs were excellent.

    Watching the Indy 500 like I used to do when I was a kid.

  351. …and crash in the first corner.

  352. Thanked her for pacing me afterward and it turned out she was about 45 but had the body of 22 year old. I love that shit.

    ——-

    Me too.

  353. Still no restart. No I remember why I don’t watch this anymore.

  354. Slept in FTW. Buy stock in Benadryl and Unisom!

    Good morning, peeps.

  355. Went surfing the nets looking for laughs, stumbled on this.
    https://youtu.be/nySUhtaf2QQ

    Extreme dust and onion warning.

  356. Emergency cuteness
    http://i.imgur.com/uK2ibur.gifv

  357. Anyone want to buy my house?

    http://hanna2go.com/property/detail/AnnArborMI/3231423.aspx

  358. In Ann Arbor? Hell no.

  359. h8r

  360. In Michigan? Hell no.

    (but otherwise it’s beautiful – my compliments to HawtBride!)

  361. Cyn, I can’t watch the crying one because I just did my make-up however the emergency cuteness was awesome.

  362. Good that you stayed aware, Mare; I didn’t get the dust/onion warning and I sobbed at the unexpectedness.

  363. Brief interlude while I watch gardening videos and digest breakfast, then I’m headed out to fence the garden area. I may start building mounds today.

  364. For $160+ per sf? Hell no.

  365. PD, that’s about what the offer on our house was. We were as surprised as anyone.

  366. That’s about the going rate in our town. $200 per square foot if you want a ranch style home.

  367. 2.1 Baths??

  368. Drain in floor for water tank = .1 bathroom

  369. Wanna get in a nice neighborhood in LA? Start at $400 per sqft and keep going.

  370. Wanna get in a nice neighborhood in LA?

    no. Next question.

  371. Mrs. Pendejo is looking at homes in the New Braunfels area. It’s in between San antonio and Austin. Nice stuff there is under $150 per sf. Of course it’s all flooded as hell today.

  372. I’m nervous the offer won’t be appraised.

    Well, not nervous exactly, but I want to start packing glassware and what not and don’t want to have to drag this on.

  373. Afternoon Hostages. Ahhh Chuck Norris. Delta Force II.

  374. Kind of cute.

    My daughter showed me a picture of Flynn Rider yesterday, wearing glasses that her friends ‘shopped on him, and asked me who it looked like. (Flynn Rider is the love interest in Tangled, beasnette’s fav Disney movie.)

    I gave her a head tilt and said her friends are her fairy Godmothers. He looks exactly like beasnette’s boyfriend. Her friends having played a touch of the matchmaker.

    This isn’t the same ‘shopped picture but close enough. http://tinyurl.com/k7dscwu

    She told me not to say anything to him about it when he came up this morning to pick her up for a grad party.

    So when he arrived, I am struggling not to giggle like a loon because I’m thinking ‘FLYNN!’, and he takes me off guard by giving me a hug. I’m looking at beasnette over his shoulder with a ‘oh hey now’ look and she’s looking delighted.

  375. Anyone want to buy my house?
    —————————————-
    Nah. Probably smells like leather polish and mothballs.

  376. Yeah…after looking at Hotspur’s house, I don’t think I’ll be posting my house’s sell page.

    *smacks MJ’s ass and points at beansesses*

  377. Cheeky bastard.

  378. The H2:

    http://is.gd/m7Kb1f

  379. A friend posted this on Facedouche. I’m trying to decide if I should keep my mouth shut or turn on asshole-mode and respond.

    Also, I was supposed to be on the road right now to visit grandparents, but the damn cat peed on my clothes.

  380. Knuckle is done, and it is good.

    It looks like three separate muscles so it’s a bit of a pain in the butt to slice right, and there is some connective tissue to deal with.

    $3.19/lb for delicious roast beef? I’ll suffer through it.

  381. The H2:
    http://is.gd/m7Kb1f

    Little on the 1% side, isn’t it?

  382. Anyone want to buy my house?
    —————————————-
    Nah. Probably smells like leather polish and mothballs.

    The smell of bullwhips and your mom’s wardrobe in the morning. Smells like… Victory.

  383. Wanna get in a nice neighborhood in LA?
    no. Next question.

  384. Wanna get in a nice neighborhood in LA?
    no. Next question.

  385. Alex, I vote for asshole mode.

  386. A friend posted this on Facedouche. I’m trying to decide if I should keep my mouth shut or turn on asshole-mode and respond.
    ————————————
    I’ve been reading a ton of shit about ‘privilege’ lately. Anything that makes someone feel inferior to another is considered privilege.

    It’s just a bunch of insecure people looking to feel better about themselves.

    For example, Bchoch has retard privilege.

  387. Okay, fuck trying to post on this GayPad. It won’t behave. Fuckin’ Tim Cook.

  388. For example, Bchoch has retard privilege.
    Tell him to keep his hands off of my particular privilege.

  389. The H2:
    http://is.gd/m7Kb1f
    Little on the 1% side, isn’t it

    No one specified which 1%.

  390. For example, Bchoch has retard privilege.

    Is that where his podcast can keep crashing without him having to fix it?

  391. Is that where his podcast can keep crashing without him having to fix it?

    Crash is such an ugly word. Slight hiccups in internet connectivity is more accurate.

  392. Good grief, the comments on that….GAHHHH

  393. You read the comments? Never read the comments.

  394. Never go full imagur commenter.

  395. Fuck, interlude became a nap. I might still have time to put the fence up today.

  396. Should we all go to bcock’s podcast page and leave constructive criticism?

  397. Who in America lives like the said sack case except for those with no daddies or here illegally living 30 to a house. F*ck.

  398. Cats are assholes.

  399. Remember: dogs have masters, cats have staff.

  400. John Nash and his wife died in a car accident.

  401. Shut your whore mouth, Hotspur.

    Also, with all the cats I’ve had, in all the years, I’ve never had a cat pee where they shouldn’t. Never. ever.

  402. This cat is getting old. They figure he won’t live much longer. I think they put the litter box in the guest bathroom upstairs to keep it closer.

  403. Ohh, poor old kitty. Sorry about your clothes, Alex.

  404. I think Flynn Rider is cute. I like that movie too.

  405. Should we all go to bcock’s podcast page and leave constructive criticism?

    Oh. This should go well.

  406. AlextheChick has a great podcast. But why does she let Tom Hill cohost?

  407. Oh…oh that’s just mean.

  408. No, it’s funny too.

  409. I must concur: funny

  410. Pantry had been cleaned.

    Not a euphemism. This time.

  411. I read that as “Panty has been cleaned”.

  412. Everyone should have their “pantries” cleaned now and again.

  413. Well, yes, mean often is funny.

  414. Drains have been snaked.

  415. Counters have been wiped.

  416. Fence has been stapled.

  417. AlextheChick has a great podcast. But why does she let Tom Hill cohost?
    ————————-
    Hilarious.

    CHOF.

  418. I’m glad Tom isn’t very internet savvy, or he would discover all the really kind things we say about him.

  419. Check out his website (anonymized, so he won’t see where they are from): Anonymize tomhill.com

  420. I just learned something about jalapenos…. The tip isn’t a good indicator of how hot the rest of the pepper is.

    I think there may be nerve damage.

  421. “Everyone should have their “pantries” cleaned now and again.”

    Otherwise, you’ll get moths.

  422. Don’t try that with a ghost or habenero. You won’t even like the tip.

  423. “Just the tip” is a safety measure when you can’t handle the whole thing.

  424. I looked at the anonymized tom hill dot com and learned there’s a Tom Hill Show that runs at the same time as Special Edition Saturday! Cool, someone should let wiser know!

  425. I can barely eat poblanos if they aren’t cooked. A habenero would kill me.

  426. I bought a blueberry bbq sauce in Asheville. As gay as that sounds, it turned out to be a super hot, not average hot, sauce.

    Sleeper.

  427. Cuteness Alert!

    http://blog.theautismsite.com/daddydaughtersing/

  428. Carolina has some excellent BBQ, but the sauce is different. Still just as good, just different. I’m not surprised you found a good one.

  429. I love spicy food and peppers. Unfortunately, what the doctor deemed as “abuse of spicy sauce/food and caffeine”, along with a nice big dose of stress, led to multiple bleeding ulcers in my early 30s. Which means I can’t really each much spicy anymore.

    Which fucking sucks.

  430. Okay, panic may be setting in. We’ve sold our house (barring any bullshit) in one day and I don’t know where we’re going and we are out of here on June 22nd.

  431. Mare, buy my house.

  432. I was at Home Depot today looking for a few items for touch-ups and what not.

    A male Home Depot employee walked up to me and asked if he could help me find something and:

    I innocently said, “Caulk.”

    He said, “Cock?”

    I said, “Caulking!! Ahhh,Phrasing is important!!”

    And he laughed..hard.

  433. HA! Hotspur, have you forgotten I made my big declaration when I left Michigan;

    “As God is my witness, I will never go to Michigan again!!”

  434. It was a bit dramatic but I had spent all winter, all flipping 9 months of winter with a new baby without knowing anyone besides my husband.

    I told the story before about walking with the baby in spring, seeing a cute gal with a baby and asking her what people did in the winter here besides Michigan football and she said, “ice fishing.”

    My first thought, I’m outta here.

  435. mare, buy this habanero.

  436. If we hurried we could probably be out of here in 2 days.

  437. One day to pack, one day to load.

  438. You’re a pro, Scott.

    And it’s not so much the packing and storing, I’ve done that lots, it’s more where will we go?

  439. You could get an RV, and live on the road.

  440. Wherever you go, there you are.

  441. It’ll work out, it always does, I just cannot decide where to first.

  442. With an RV, you could travel around, maybe even visit a Hostage or two.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  443. Seriously though, congratulations on the sale of the house!

  444. Come on, Cyn, meet a Hostage? mare’s not even real.

  445. Bcoch, H. Pylori causes most stomach ulcers. Spicy food/ stress does not cause them. Don’t get mad at your doc, it’s a relatively new discovery.

  446. MJ told me semen causes stomach ulcers.

  447. Our favorite sockpuppet in an RV. Epic!

  448. MJ told me semen causes stomach ulcers.

    I heard that from your mom.

  449. A house down the street from us, slightly smaller on a busier street, went on the market last weekend for $900K. Today it’s marked sold. People in Clownifornia are insane.

  450. Comment by Hotspur on May 24, 2015 6:52 pm
    MJ told me semen causes stomach ulcers.

    —-

    LOL

    Poor gay, MJ.

  451. With an RV, you could travel around, maybe even visit a Hostage or two.
    Lost in America?

  452. http://discovermagazine.com/2010/mar/07-dr-drank-broth-gave-ulcer-solved-medical-mystery

    He won the Nobel Prize for his research. What prize would a cum guzzler win? Something from AVN?

  453. The EMP will render the RV useless except as a hovel to starve in.

  454. Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 24, 2015 7:14 pm
    The EMP will render the RV useless except as a hovel to starve in.

    —–

    hahahahah, Okay, the RV is out. MCPO any other suggestions that keep doom out of it?

  455. Thanks, Cyn. Someone just stopped in front of the house and took a pic of the real-estate sign.

    I think I need a glass of wine.

  456. Mare has a specific requirement about where she wants to move: no Hostage within a few hours drive time. That rules out most of the country. She regrets leaving Hawaii now.

  457. A spring rabbit was just eating off my blueberry bushes. I don’t know if it was eating the twigs or the immature berries. It ran away before Scott could attend to its needs.

  458. Mare – EMP shielded military surplus vehicle. Preferably a two and a half ton diesel.

  459. mare, this is perfect:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EM-50_Urban_Assault_Vehicle

  460. For the amount of times you move, you should probably live in a RV or houseboat.

  461. PARTY ON MARE’S NEW HOUSEBOAT!! Woooo Hooo!

  462. Mare, there is no Hostage in Montana. North Dakota is clear as well, but TexasJew goes there often. Ick!

  463. http://is.gd/nA3OTb

  464. Tushar, shut your curry hole!

  465. I’d like to steal one of Rosetta’s best lines, I think it’s appropriate:

    “I wish this site was a homeless person so I could kill it and set it on fire.”

  466. “I was a little too tall
    Could’ve used a few pounds
    Tight pants, points, hardly renown. . .”

  467. How are you hitting them, MCPO?

  468. Bcoch, H. Pylori causes most stomach ulcers. Spicy food/ stress does not cause them. Don’t get mad at your doc, it’s a relatively new discovery.

    Sorry, no.

    Stress and those other factors can in fact cause them. MOST cases are caused by H Pylori. Which is why they test for it. And I tested negative.

  469. Scott – Not too badly. Although, I now hit my 5 wood where I used to hit my 3 iron.

  470. Hot foods and caffeine “burning” holes in your stomach is BS.

  471. Ha ha ha! Curry hole.

  472. Appreciate the opinion, but I think I’ll stick with the gastroenterologist with decades of experience and working at a highly thought of practice.

  473. He’ll tell you that fatty foods are bad, coffee is bad, and vitamins are good.

    Good luck with that.

  474. Actually, he didn’t tell me any of that. But again, thanks for your opinion. Never hurts to hear all sides.

  475. And he probably didn’t say anything about cabbage juice.

  476. Did he mention Yulee’s crappy water?

  477. I am sure bcoch thinks I am being an ass, but Dr’s don’t know shit about nutrition.

  478. Playing golf tomorrow. Looks like the humidity is going to move to July levels again this week. :(

  479. A mere 2 mentions of golf seems to have cleared this place faster than a plague victim in a medieval village!

  480. It’s not the golf- there has been a new thread, MCPO!


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