Live Wire

 

 

Since I wasn’t banned last week, I’ll take it easy on you all and introduce Brendan Monroe.

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Monroe clearly likes it trippy.  I’ve a feeling that he knows his way around a bic lighter as well as, if not more than a pallet and canvass.  I am simply captivated by the form and the expression of the stroke.

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Monroe is an S.F. artist.

He finds a style here.  The artist is pictured blankly looking at his crazy meat-ee-ors.

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This is de stijl I like the best.

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Check out his Tumbler or website if you like his work.  You’ll be in good company.

Have a nice day.

 

167 Comments

  1. Thanx, Jimebro.

  2. Those string pictures remind me of this: http://is.gd/loVdi0

  3. Haha, I want to hear about the first experience with The Honey Wagon™, when you have to wear breathing protection.

    You get to meet methane up close and personal.

  4. That video is wonderful.

  5. Good job chumpo. Someone needs to class up this joint.

    Lived jewstins story, and I’ve missed you.

    Need to fix the fockin internet today. Wakey wakey

  6. While she was doing that, I stepped out onto the deck and shot the little bastard in the head and threw him in the far east pasture for the Hawks and Eagles.
    Carrion-eaters gotta live, too…

    Er, if you use lead shot and a raptor eats the carcass, including the shot since they swallow chunks whole, it will poison the raptor.

    Give a hoot, don’t pollute a raptor. Don’t use lead.

  7. American Sniper is out on DVD today. Is it worth the $14.99?

  8. Jewstin, are you still working at the pig farm?

  9. interesting

  10. Get a contact high just looking at the pics.

  11. This is de stijl I like the best.

    “Puns are the lowest form of humor.”
    —Stuff Piet Mondrian Probably Said

  12. I think Jewstin’s dirty job story goes into the permanent collection on H2.

  13. Jewstin’s story was hilarious. Reminded me of Empire of Jeff’s “Trashman for for a day” story.

  14. Yes, it is Beasnsnsnsnsns.

  15. Solved internet issue. Someone [not me] weed whacked the line.

  16. It’s going to be a few days.

  17. The Struggle is Real.

  18. Oso, Beth’s superor moderate friend told me to f*ck off. You were called pathetic, but I am an asshole.

  19. And not once did I call him any names until then.

  20. Hi Beasn. I am still working at the pig farm. In fact I just finished making a bunch of baby pigs.

  21. You are kinda an asshole, Beasn.

  22. Solved internet issue. Someone [not me] weed whacked the line.

    Time to beat the chirrun for this…

  23. In fact I just finished making a bunch of baby pigs.

    Aww, if you won’t get in trouble, can you take pics after their born?

    They don’t let pigs make them the old-fashioned way?

  24. they’re

  25. xbrad, I know you are, but what am I?

  26. In fact I just finished making a bunch of baby pigs.

    But when they grow up they only call you when they want money. Never just to talk.

  27. NO CAMERAS ALLOWED!!

    The pigs think they look fat on camera.

  28. Baby pigs think nothing of the sort.

  29. WHO RUNS BARTER TOWN?

  30. Actually, they don’t want anybody taking bad pictures that could be leaked to animal rights groups.

  31. Would you really want to risk your phone or camera in PigShitLand anyway?

  32. Lap dog napping in lap.

  33. That’s worse than dog head on foot!

  34. Hi Beasn. I am still working at the pig farm. In fact I just finished making a bunch of baby pigs.*****

    Doesn’t ask

  35. Jewstin, I was close to a pig farm once (‘close’ measured in some fraction of a mile) and couldn’t believe the eye-watering stench. I was a kid but will never forget that smell.That’s why I asked you about it yesterday.

    Your post made me unbelievably sad but also it was funny.

    Does this job pay well? Are you happy to work there? Are you coworkers fun?

  36. Can’t friggin’ move. So hungry.

  37. Laura, I like it more now that I know better how to prepare for some of the tasks I have to do. That first week was pretty hellish. They pretty much threw me in the deep end, but there is a lot of turnover here so they try to get rid of people who can’t handle it.

    Generally it’s pretty fun though, and it does pay well.

  38. Nature hates concentrations, and our senses understand that. A few pigs on a family farm, killing a few every year? No problem.

    Hundreds or thousands of them all in one place? Hell on Earth.

  39. I also will not stand concentrations. The beer comes in a 30 pk and I MUST thin that abomination out.

    Me and Mo Nature making friends.

  40. I have to clean the coop this afternoon. I will think of Jewstin while I do it.

  41. beasn, hahaha.

  42. OK, I’m glad you like it, Jewstin.
    But I hope you are also still scattering resumes around. First job in life is to keep getting a better job.

  43. First job in life is to keep getting a better job.

    Well done, Laurawr.

  44. *hugs Cyn*

  45. Ha!

    https://youtu.be/TZmGv88rf8w

  46. *cancels remaining Communication Classes*

    Rats.

  47. Wife just got her associate’s in mass communication. Guard training and time in service on her current job.

  48. Pig farmer is pretty high on the hog, as far as jobs go.

  49. If it paid the same, I’d consider switching.

  50. Beasn,
    Copper plated steel shot.
    A “BB”…

  51. Beasn,
    Copper plated steel shot.
    A “BB”…

    Beasn <3 ChrisP

  52. A “BB”…

    Just one?

    Obviously you are not aware of the fluffy zombie bunny problem in this country.

  53. I can’t believe he threw it in the woods at all.

    Spatchcock and grill.

  54. That’s a naughty word for taco, right? You Northern Catz are teh Aws.

  55. You’d spatchcock a rabbit? That’s pretty sick dude.

  56. It means cutting the spine away from the ribs and laying the animal out flat for the grill, you gutter-minded plebeians.

  57. Greetings! I once shot a pig just to watch it die.

  58. Did you hose it down with a pressure washer first?

  59. Where u been Gland?

  60. Plebeian??? I’ll have you know that I am most uncommon in my gutter mindedness.

  61. What is this, old home week? All these peeps showing up I haven’t seen for awhile! Welcome back all!

  62. Interestingly enough, the housing market came back! I had let all my staff go and now I account for the whole of my company. I’m a one man shop and plan on keeping it that way for now. I use my breaks now to catch 5 minute naps and do Crossfit. Life is good.

  63. Hi gland, how’s it hanging?

  64. “my staff”

  65. Someone needs to dust off the good glasses and get the cloth napkins out. The Prodigal Hostages have returned! Let’s slaughter a pig!

  66. I slaughtered your mom once.

  67. Hehehshshehshaheheh

    Its funny because… I dont care why. Mom jokes are great.

  68. Uve taken your mom jokes to work and use them selectively on the staff.

  69. Your mom, a pig, same thing really.

  70. I’ve = I’ve

  71. Jeebus … Uve = I’ve

    FFS, autocorrect sux

  72. Raspberries moved

  73. Should you really spatchcock a rabbit? The spine is where some big chunks of meat are. No breast meat on a wabbit.

  74. It’s funnier to say, though.

  75. “I spatchcocked it and slapped it on a hot grate.”

    -Things Overheard by Leon’s Coworkers Shortly Before he Was Asked if he’d Prefer to Work From Home

  76. I’ve actually spent the better part of today trying to decide if I should quit.

  77. Time to scrape up chickenshit.

  78. Big day Friday. Paula’s mom (step-mom really) is having surgery for a dissecting thoracic aneurysm in Boston. I’m not 100% sure how they’re doing the repair—not a sternotomy or thoracotomy. Some kind of endovascular repair with a graft. Originally they said it was a 2 part procedure with a bypass to the subclavian artery then the actual repair at a later date. Great surgical minds got together and they’re doing it all at once. 4 to 5 day hospital stay is their estimate. I’m really not current with my knowledge of vascular procedures but it sounds like they’ve come a long way since I was a student.

  79. I wonder if she’ll bring it to her first job: http://is.gd/0yshs4

    If she works at the DNC or NOW they’ll have it bronzed for her.

  80. Those two places are basically her only hope for employment, or something like them.

    She will never add value or create anything with value for one moment of her miserable life.

  81. Au contraire, from another perspective she is a shining light in the dark hell of those who bemoan having anyone else move their mattresses for them.

  82. That sounds like a big fluffly deal, Jimbro. Good thoughts and wishes to your step-mother-in-law!

  83. She will never add value or create anything with value for one moment of her miserable life.

    I disagree. At some point she’ll decide she wants a child, sucker some dweeb into bed, and poke a hole in the condom. One can only hope that her child will overcome mom’s crazy to live a productive life.

  84. Any bets on how long it takes for “Carry That Weight” to become a movie? Fictionalized, of course.

  85. “fictionalized”

  86. The names have been changed to protect us from lawsuits.

  87. I said “create”. That’s “procreate”.

    And after her traumatic rape, how could she ever have sex again?

    I predict political lesbianism.

  88. I predict political lesbianism.

    That won’t stop her from procreating. Turkey basters are cheap.

  89. Evening.

  90. Kinda hard to procreate via anal on the first date.

  91. Jewstin! How many sows did you inseminate today?

  92. I inseminated four (4) sows. That could result in 144 little baby piggies.

  93. Jewstin, do you do inseminations on political lesbians? Why not?

  94. This picture needs to be posted on every single wall in every single office building and workplace in the country with a caption that reads “Do not hire this c*nt!”

    i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/04/24/03/27ED4B6A00000578-0-image-a-53_1429841581261.jpg

  95. She’s into anal, maybe Vivid would hire her.

  96. Those two places are basically her only hope for employment, or something like them.

    or maybe Mayflower Transit

  97. How do four sows = a gross of piglets? Are you counting future generations?

  98. Jewstin, do you do inseminations on political lesbians? Why not?

    I guess I could swipe a bag of semen from work. I don’t know what you get when you cross a lesbian with a boar. Nothing good, I would think.

  99. A pig uterus is shaped like a horseshoe and 18 eggs can implant in each horn. One sow can birth 36 piglets. It’s rare, but it happens.

  100. boorish behavior.

  101. How many nipples does a pig have?

  102. I think it’s cool we’re using terms like sow and boar here at the H2. Before it was just “pig” with the gender implied.

  103. Ours only have 16 nipples.

  104. Actually 16 is terrific for breeding stock. Most breeds of pig have fewer, but my facility is a breeding facility; we don’t produce very much market stock.

  105. I don’t know what you get when you cross a lesbian with a boar.

    http://is.gd/fKIl9W

  106. In preparation for moving I decided to thin my wardrobe.

    Short Sleeve shirts 27
    Long sleeve 16
    Pants 4
    Shorts 6
    Robe
    Sweaters 6
    Sportcoat
    Leather shoes 4
    Sandals 2
    Coats 2
    Vest

    All going to Salvation Army tomorrow. Some of the clothes are in perfect shape, but I just never wear them.

  107. Laura just answered the why not part of Leon’s question.

  108. If I’m a hooker I don’t want to release Al Gore’s chakras. I don’t even want to look at his gross face. Actually, if I’m a hooker I’ll pay Al Gore to go away. And since he’s a bigger whore than I would be, he’d take it.

    I don’t know what I’m saying and I don’t care.

  109. I don’t know what you get when you cross a lesbian with a boar.

    Hillary

  110. Lawraw, for the win!!

  111. xbrad, that looks like Beyonce

  112. Wiser, there was another pic of them side by side, but I’m a mean SOB, not a evil heartless motherfucker. I spared you that pic.

  113. Comment by leoncaruthers on May 19, 2015 4:52 pm

    I’ve actually spent the better part of today trying to decide if I should quit.

    ========

    First, apply for paternity leave, at least 6 months. Threaten to sue.

  114. Pepe gets it.

  115. Pepe, that’s my current plan. Take my 3 months for FMLA leave and just take another job after I run out of paid leave.

    I desperately want to be smart about how I walk out, but some days make it harder to be patient. If I’m very lucky, my project will get cancelled and I’ll get to look for other work that doesn’t suck pigdick.

  116. Head hurts, I think it might be time for bed, or at least time for a book.

  117. Has anybody ever used a head-hunter to get a job? I need a new one.

  118. I’ve worked with head-hunters, but they were my client. I’ve never used one.

  119. I think head hunters contact you, Buff.

  120. Short Sleeve shirts 27
    Long sleeve 16
    Pants 4
    Shorts 6
    Robe
    Sweaters 6
    Sportcoat
    Leather shoes 4
    Sandals 2
    Coats 2
    Vest
    ————————————
    The vest proves you’re gay.

    Any disagreement, H2?

  121. Has anybody ever used a head-hunter to get a job? I need a new one.
    ————————–
    Linked In works.

  122. Head hunters are sort of like an employment agency, Chumpo. They will accept your resume and try to match you with an available job that seems like a promising match.

    The difference is they only get paid if you get hired on direct hire. The ones I knew got 10% of the new employee’s base salary. They’re very picky about the resumes they accept, and very thorough with interviewing and such.

  123. I don’t know what you get when you cross a lesbian with a boar. Nothing good, I would think.

    A hell of a shortstop.

  124. Like an agent. Sweet. Everybody needs an agent.

  125. So Bernie Sanders did an ‘Ask Me Anything’ post on Reddit. I thought it might be interesting but as per ushe the left proves to be vapid.

    Is there anyone on the left that doesn’t talk about CEOs the Koch brothers, or a dozen other tired tropes? It’s fucking embarrassing.

    Pictured below, Bernie Sanders, 2002.

    http://is.gd/gauG7c

  126. The downside of a headhunter is that the company pays them 10% of your starting salary just to find you. This is going to reduce your initial offer and complicates salary negotiations.

  127. MJ, it’s Reddit. Vapid is in their mission statement.

  128. Is there anyone on the left that doesn’t talk about CEOs the Koch brothers, or a dozen other tired tropes? It’s fucking embarrassing.

    If it aint broke…

  129. Checked your profile again, Buffy. I know of open jobs, but our industries are too different for them to be of any use to you.

  130. Reddit interim CEO is Ellen Pao, who lost, badly, her suit against her venture capital former employer, claiming sex discrimination.

  131. I have so much stuff on eBay right now.

    Ho Le Clap.

  132. Buff, reach out to Sohos. She’s got experience, and can give you some insight into the ups and downs and the process, I’m sure.

  133. Reddit interim CEO is Ellen Pao, who lost, badly, her suit against her venture capital former employer, claiming sex discrimination.

    You can lose those? Her legal team must suck.

  134. Yeah, hit up Vmax too.

  135. Not Jewstin, you shouldn’t ask him.

  136. Last night I spent $120 on 11 pieces of Coach leather organizers. When I found out the calenders were all 10 years old I got very sad.

    When I found out Coach sells refills for $15, and those suckers retail for $200, I got happy again.

  137. Did anybody politely decline to donate to anybody else’s charity benefit “for the betterment of wayward Gingers” today?

  138. I already donated to the Red Headed League.

  139. My sister’s bar has a Ginger Mixer on some Tuesday once a month.

    Yikes.

  140. >>>… Ginger Mixer on some Tuesday once a month.

    I’d go

    http://is.gd/cvUqUE

  141. Looks like Scott will turn into an eBay tycoon soon. Godspeed, Scotty.

    I looked up auctions in New Jersey. They don’t hold auctions on weekends.

  142. Check out local online auctions.

  143. Ya might, Rabbit, Ya might.

  144. MJ, it’s Reddit. Vapid is in their mission statement.
    —————————
    Oh I get that but I assumed Bernie Sanders might have something more interesting to say than the typical Daily Kos talking points.

    He’s an idiot. The questions were idiotic. Everything was a cliche wrapped in a boiler plate, surrounded by a soundbite.

    It’s just so sad to see such wanton idiocy disguised as deeply intellectual.

    *looks sideways at Obama

  145. Off to a show.

    Check ya later,

  146. Chumpo is fancy.

  147. By show, do you mean somebody tawdry with a donkey?

  148. No. Rock show at a shitty bar.

    Her nails are almost done.

  149. I’d go

    http://is.gd/cvUqUE

    I want to give her my soul.

    And my semen.

  150. I’d give her a hard time.

  151. I’d give her the best thirty-seconds of my life.

  152. I’d call the cops on both of you, because that’s a teenager, you sick animals.

  153. A friend once dragged me to a Hooters in Florida. Those waitresses were so young, they could have been my daughters if I had married a bit earlier. That was so uncomfortable. I will never visit a Hooters again. I might consider a place that has more mature waitresses.

  154. Saggers?

  155. Dr. Jimbro, that yarn video was… disturbing.
    We are old, so it hit pretty close to home.
    Thanks, I think…

  156. “Comment by mare on May 19, 2015 7:22 pm
    If I’m a hooker I don’t want to release Al Gore’s chakras. I don’t even want to look at his gross face. Actually, if I’m a hooker I’ll pay Al Gore to go away. And since he’s a bigger whore than I would be, he’d take it.
    I don’t know what I’m saying and I don’t care.”

    I love it when Mare gets wasted.

  157. Jimbro,
    Beautiful picture, of a 12 year old ginger.
    Judging by the number of freckles, she has already stolen many souls.
    She will steal many more before she is stopped…

  158. Saggers? LOLOLOL

  159. ChrisP, are you and the better half free sometime this week for dinner?

  160. Cougars

    The restaurant where the waitresses are all 43, drive BMWs and have fake tits courtesy of their ex husbands.

  161. Behold my domain! I shall rule it with unrelenting cruelty and injustice!

  162. Wait… didn’t Tushar go with us to Hooters in Tempe?

  163. Just got home from niece’s 8th grade graduation and dinner.

    I swear the ceremony was as long as my senior graduation. Wow.

  164. Sleepy dreams time.

    Good night, Hotsausages.

    See you on the hunky humpday.

  165. I can’t stay
    Yes I know
    You know I
    Hate to go
    But goodbye
    Derp was sweet
    I was kind
    Never mean

  166. Live wire? Not in here, that’s for sure.

    Sleepyheads.


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