Majestic AF





  2. That is a fine pair of river scissors there.

  3. Skiing weekends in ritzy Aspen, Colo., can cost a pretty penny, but a new taxpayer watchdog’s report on first lady Michelle Obama’s February jaunt to the resort town with her daughters found it cost 14 times more than the average American spends for a week-long vacation.

    Judicial Watch reported Tuesday that airfare alone cost taxpayers $57,068.80. Not included in the figures provided by the government so far: “The attendant costs for U.S. Secret Service personnel, accommodations, meals, rental cars, lift tickets for skiing at Buttermilk, and related expenses.”

    Always thinking of the little guy, our First Lady.

    Also I note it was HER vacation, no fagwit husband present. What a surprise.

  4. Speaking of scissors…

  5. Hillary Clinton is refusing to testify twice before the House panel investigating the 2012 attacks on the U.S. government compound in Benghazi, Libya.

    Clinton is willing to testify once before the House Select Committee on Benghazi, but her attorney says she will not meet the panel’s demand to come before it twice. He also criticized the panel for asking Clinton to appear once just to examine her use of a private email account while secretary of State.

    See? Laws are for little people. I wonder what would happen if I refuse a subpoena.

    Not really.

  6. I haven’t had a vacation since that worthless punk was elected. They take one every month.

    I generally side with the French Aristocracy as pertains to their revolution, but I understand how the other side felt better and better each day.

  7. Again, I would be in jail for the rest of my life if I had done what Hillary has for-certain already done. Not even what we suspect she’s done, what she has obviously already done.

  8. Sitting in the waiting room while HotBride is having a colonoscopy. TV is on.

    Jesus Christ, who watches this shit? It is some of the most inane crap imaginable. Some fucking show called Wendy, I think.

    Anyway, the black people in the room are glued to it.

  9. Lots of paternity test shows.

  10. I would much rather have a made up party day, than get stuck with Cesar Chavez Day.

  11. But, Oso, of all the things to make up a party for, why would you choose beating the fucking french?

    It’s embarrassing.

  12. Hey, deleting e-mails about Chelsea’s wedding plans isn’t a crime. But having such a fugly leech for a daughter should be.

    I’m sure there were no other e-mails were involved. Depending on what the meaning of “involved” involves.

  13. Usually the French beat themselves. Off.

  14. It still amazes me that someone wanted to wed the junior hag.

  15. Today is the day we shit all over the governor’s shithead idea to raise the sales tax.

    We have a republican governor, and both state houses are repub, and these dickbrains want to raise taxes.

    Not going to happen.

  16. I generally side with the French Aristocracy as pertains to their revolution

    Let leon eat cake.

  17. How in the hell did Michigan go all GOP? Wow.

  18. If someone suggests a temporary income tax, don’t fall for it.

  19. It still amazes me that someone wanted to wed the junior hag.

    You married for looks and love. Others think money and power are a good deal.

  20. “How in the hell did Michigan go all GOP? Wow”

    It had a lot to do with this chick we had for a governor. She blew us away.

  21. Granholm, the gift that keeps on giving

  22. scott knows things, taxes are never temporary.

  23. Oh yeah, I should go vote.

  24. If someone suggests a temporary income tax

    Temporary, where f(temporary) = permanent

  25. I still don’t understand how Chelsea couldn’t bring herself to care about money while her and her hedge fund manager husband closed on a +$10 million dollar New York penthouse.

    I can’t imagine where she would be living if she did care.

  26. Jay, the French revolted against Louis XVI… the guy who spent huge amounts of his personal fortune ensuring American independence. I can’t side with Robespierre in that argument. Apparently, neither could the terrorists who Robespierre spun up, either.

  27. It’s only been 34 years so it could still be temporary.

  28. Plus, cake is delicious.

  29. It has less gluten.

  30. However with Licorice Dick’s wife in charge, it will be soybean cake. For you.

  31. Wow, the only thing on my ballot today is the sales tax increase.

    This thing doesn’t have a chance.

  32. I omitted to mention Queen Michelle’s Healthy Choices signature soybean cake contains a minimum of 25% post-industrial recycled waste.

  33. soybean cake = tofu

    no thanks!

  34. Heh, my wife just sent an email with the title “Your Mom”.

    I LOLd

  35. a minimum of 25% post-industrial recycled waste Soylent Green.

  36. I can’t bait animal traps with tofu. That should be a lesson.

  37. Jay, are you job hunting?

    Looking to move or stay in Io-weigh?

  38. Not hunting, but always looking.

    Not really interested in moving right now.

  39. My qualifications are low, no matter how smart I seem on here.


  40. My qualifications are your mom.

  41. Your mom wrote me a letter of recommendation.

  42. I voted for your mom.

  43. I gave your mom my subpoena.

  44. Mike Huckabee on Tuesday told Americans he wants to take the country from hope to higher ground as he became the sixth Republican to declare for president during a rousing speech in his hometown of Hope, Ark.

    Second look at Hillary?

  45. GM R&D is recruiting Mrs. Caruthers for photography/videography.

    I’ll get those tax dollars back one way or another.

  46. Whatever happened with Ford?

  47. Oh, Mrs. Leon is into lenses and cameras? Orwell approves.

    *dreams of a shelf full of Zeiss glass*

  48. Mexico doesn’t have a very good track record in battles. They take every win they can get.

  49. Today’s AoS post about Garland,Tx shooting and Pam Gellar is exhibit #1 for why I am in awe of Ace, and consider him my political and philosophical Guru.

  50. Yep, Tush. A riled ewok is a thing of beauty. It was epic. He really needs to make a collection of “The Othering” and his Class Posts into a book.

  51. One thing is certain. This place is no refuge of well-heeled upper class culture. I mean, look at this friggin’ wall.

  52. Whatever happened with Ford?

    My source tells me it’s still in consideration even though I’m not perfect for any of the open slots. Basically hinted that I can have it if I say I definitely want it. Also offered to let me come tour the autonomous vehicles lab and take a ride.

    I have mixed feelings. I’m not currently suffering, just not getting what I want or making much career headway. I’ve started to really like telecommuting – I’d miss that a lot – and we’d probably have to kennel Benny every day or take him to camp. The Ford job would be a good new challenge, but it would take me out of Defense, putting me in direct competition with H1Bs. At this point I have at least one option open for staying in the industry without having to go to an office again. In August I’m told I’ll have another option.

    My decision point is on hold until the baby comes or I get an actual offer.

  53. Or the incredibly unlikely event that my current employer finally makes good on promises made to me.

  54. What day is it?

  55. Today is Tuesday, pray the Sorrowful Mysteries.

  56. I got sorrowful mysteries from your Mom.

  57. Praying is for people that don’t truly benefit from the mind numbing affect of being buzzed.

    And sissies.

  58. *prays for MJ’s salvation*

  59. effect

    *prays Rosary for MJ*

  60. Aeffect

  61. I’m not signing up to read your shitty article. Give me a summary cover song boy.

  62. Cover Song Theory, while accepted by 95% of all song scientists, still suffers from the slanders of Cover Song denialists.

  63. Ëffect.

    It’s the name of my new speed metal band.

  64. Has anyone attempted to catalogue the exceptions to the CST?

    That would make a good post.

  65. **sets MJ on fire**

  66. Wow. Bill looks like shit.

    He’s partying too much.

  67. I think Wiser would need to first submit an outline for his thesis before proceeding to a full-blown academic monograph.

    Or he could just post while drunk and get it over with.

  68. Ëffect is also the name of an Ikea towel rack.

  69. I’m fairly sure that Barbara Mandrell was exempted because Wiser likes her cover of the 1974 classic ‘Woman to Woman.’

  70. Has anyone attempted to catalogue the exceptions to the CST?


    But unfortunately, we would run out of pixels before our herculean task was even half begun, and our lives would be nearly over, besides.

    If only there were enough pixels, and years of life. To catalogue the exceptions to WB’sBSCST.

  71. *begins construction on brick wall of China.

  72. The BS stands for ‘Bona fide Sincere.’

  73. Bovine serum

  74. Barely Sober

  75. Bachelor of Science

  76. Bitch Slap

  77. Brownfield services.

  78. Ball Salve

  79. CST Deniers

  80. Brick Scratchings

  81. and the article was about how BMI and other music publishers are suing the shit out of bars and clubs if the bands they hire play cover music without the appropriate licensing.

    “cause somehow their artists are being hurt if some little band in East Bumfuck plays Whipping Post without first throwing a couple of hundred dollars to Greg Allman for the right to play it.

  82. Tells me they must be hurtin’ for revenoo.


  83. Blonde Sauce

  84. Bear Semen


  86. cause somehow their artists are being hurt if some little band in East Bumfuck plays Whipping Post without first throwing a couple of hundred dollars to Greg Allman

    I hear BMI pays you if you perform a cover of “Afternoon Delight.”

  87. Bulbous Soliloquy

  88. So to avoid the licensing fee, now Cover Bands will have to go in disguise and play their music surreptitiously… becoming in effect:

    Undercover Bands

  89. Bulbous Soliloquy

    That’s a Tom Jones cover band.

  90. Bill O’Reiley is a total idiot.

  91. Flash Bang Nut Shot would be a great band name.

  92. Who like’s BOR’ly? Seriously, who the fuck are these people?

  93. IToday is Tuesday, pray the Sorrowful Mysteries.


    Mare loves Leon. Sincerely with brotherly affection.

  94. “with brotherly affection.”


  95. I don’t know, but I’ve never had to RTV (Return To Vendor) a single BOR’ly book. His latest about the American West actually had people waiting for it on New Release Tuesday. I think they are the same people that turn the Hillary/Obama/50 Shades books backwards.

  96. Busy today

  97. Did anybody realize they were going to have to kill anybody else in order to save the other passengers on the lifeboat today?

  98. Tallulah Bankhead played Constance Porter in Alfred Hitchcock’s Lifeboat. Always felt weird having my name in a movie.

  99. I saw Flash Bang Nut Shot open for Lemon Bear Dick Punch in 2012.

  100. Did anybody realize they were going to have to kill anybody else in order to save the other passengers on the lifeboat today?

    I was going to say yes until I realized you said “lifeboat,” not “municipal bus.”

  101. *Wonders if anyone has ever collected all the I saw …open for…in…here and at the Mothership?

  102. Aw, Mare is trying to make me feel guilty about pinching her hiney when we hug.

    Also I need to go to bed now so I can get up at 5.

  103. Lauraw, is the eyeball brick still here? I thought it was the one next to the “Steelers” Hostages “S”

  104. Last “S”

  105. Plans on calling Oso “Tallulah” in the future…………

  106. *wonders if anyone has catalogued Oso’s acronyms.

  107. My acronyms are ECU. (English Common Usage)

  108. Sam’s/WalMart Neighborhood Market has rolled out “Happy To Help” as our catch phrase. I just say HTH. My Osoism is pretty standard in our Club.

  109. Yes, xbrad sniffs his own panties.

    Happy to Help, Oso.

  110. MJ with the LMS! (Legendary Member ‘heh’ Service)

  111. Dan thinks my cousin, Raul, is an elitist douche. Raul is running for DA. After 6 years on FB, he just now sent Dan a FB request. Dan has him in limbo. My cousin is a totes White Heights guy. He NEVER crosses the river. He was the Marshall of the South Valley Parade on Sunday. D-rat+Mexican last name.

  112. Yes, xbrad sniffs his own panties.</i?

    Well, that's some kinda mental image.

  113. Stupid typo. I blame climate change.

  114. My Baby Jesus loving sibling just asked me if I was voting for Raul. I had to explain closed primaries to her. Raul’s wife and I are facing off in Social Media. Her name is Ignacia. Dan and I call her Nacho. She still can’t believe I won’t be all in because “Familia”

  115. Well I’m certainly not gonna sniff your nasty panties.

  116. Osos HTH reminded me of the old Air Force “IHTFP”.

    Officially: “In Honest Toil For Peace”.

    If you asked any airman, it was: “I Hate This Fucking Place”.

  117. I’m not sure MJ wears panties. Pantyhose, maybe.

  118. That would be an awesome rumor to start.

    Also, MJ’s Pantyhose would be a great band name.

  119. MJ’s Pantyhose

  120. I saw MJ’s Pantyhose open for The Violent Femmes in 1999.

  121. xbradtc on May 5, 2015 at 10:48 pm

    That is just darling.

  122. “darling”

  123. Mitch Cumdtain, my college roommate.

  124. Got to have the discussion with Googleman this evening on the Garland shooting and he said that they kinda brought it on themselves. After some back and forth, he saw the light of the importance of the group’s right and that the right should exist without fear of social or physical retribution or any other “but” many are currently tacking on.

    I’m so glad he has some of my genes.

    The genes that made him eat a ghost pepper are his father’s.

  125. So, Geller, Spencer, and Wilders try to convince people of the dangers of radical Islam and are mocked.

    After all, it is “The Religion of Peace”.

    They then offer a “proof”, and oddly enough, they are proven correct.
    They are then found at fault for “setting a trap”.

    “We’re learning more about the gunman who opened fire at an event where an anti-Islamic group held a contest on who could draw the nastiest cartoon of Muhammad, Matthews began. Can you believe that people set that kind of a mousetrap?”

    I saw nothing in the literature for the “Draw Muhammad Contest” about ‘nastiest cartoon of Muhammad’.

    Once again, Matthews is lying.

    And, hey, the “mousetrap” worked.
    Two would-be jihadis dead by head-shots within fifteen seconds of getting out of the car.

    They chose Texas, really? Where next, a Cabellas parking lot?
    Darwin wins again…

  126. I’d like to say that God works in mysterious ways, Chrispy, but this is Texas.

  127. Why isn’t ghost pepper a j’ames thing?

  128. Skokie/IL Nazis is sooooo 40 yrs ago.

  129. This made me giggle:

    So did this:

  130. ChrisP, a part of me understands the illegality of setting traps, another part of me demands Muzzie traps all across America.I want to go all Mel Gibson Patriot on all their muzzie asses

  131. Cyn doesn’t know that I get to hear Steamboat Willie play Turkey in the Straw umpteenth times a day…Or does she?

  132. Wieners are all WHAM! about the time change. G’night

  133. Is this the song?

  134. I know it’s not – just funnin’; and no, I didn’t know you got to hear that song a brazillian times a day

  135. If you were really cruel, you’d make her listen to WHAM!

  136. Insurance crews just finished inventory at that destroyed Baltimore CVS Drug Store. Seems they only products they found that were untouched were suntan lotion and Father’s Day cards.

  137. Gagagdsghfaggafafagahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!

    That’s a funny.

  138. Tonight with words unspoken
    You say that I’m the only one
    But will my derp be broken
    When the night meets the morning sun

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS