MMM 173: Believe again that all hope is not lost

There is still hope.  We can recover, we can return to normalcy, and beyond that to greatness.

I have no idea how, exactly, without some form of a Reckoning, but I think we all sense that, and maybe look forward to it.  Just gotta get through it with minimal losses on our side and maximal losses on theirs.

I guaran-damn-tee you that otherkin tumblrinas will not ultimately survive contact with the real world, and I hope I live long enough to see that.

How about some booty in lycra?

I miss the beach.
Posing practice, pretty smile.
The plates make this workout-related.
The angel of the dangle.
Checking for that thing y’all are going to claim she has anyhow.
I wish my delts looked this defined.
Big quads.

And that’s a poat. Go bend Monday over and spank it like the naughty secretary who forgot to put cream in your coffee.





  1. Great poat. Good job.

  2. Anyone here into John Philip Sousa music?

  3. That last girl can probably squat a car.

  4. Jay, perhaps the company which made the thermometer has extra copies of the backing available

    What fun is that?

    Plus it’s old, and it would probably be cheaper to just buy a new one. But then it wouldn’t be the exact image I wanted, either!

  5. wakey wakey

  6. I read that pole vault girl got fat. Oopsy.


  7. She’s not fat, she’s big boned.

    Like your mom.

  8. Back from the gym. There were a few MMM-quality gals there, but I tried really hard to stay on task.

  9. Good poat, Leon. Total shame that Stokke got fat.

  10. Healthy At Any Size!

  11. Because this* is healthy, and not an abomination before man and God.


  12. I wouldn’t say she’s fat

  13. I wouldn’t either, Scott. That’s not the pic I saw.

  14. Leon, she is straight up gross. And on the edge of being within our species.

  15. Yeah, there’s one floating around where she’s gotta be over 2 bills.

  16. There was another pic that showed her a good 15 to 20 pounds heavier than that, Scott.

  17. Mornin’, hosers.

  18. #FatShamingIsMean

  19. I should clarify my stance:

    If you’re a fat person because you don’t give a fuck and like brownies and ice cream: cool, I get that.

    If you’re a fat person who wants to tell me that you’re totally healthy and me thinking that you’re batshit and gonna die young isn’t permissible, Fuck You.

  20. It’s also really not my fault if I don’t find shapeless obese women attractive. I don’t find emaciated women attractive either, and for the same reason: neither is especially fit to carry a healthy fetus to term, and the evolutionary wisdom embedded within me knows that and rejects both extremes.

  21. I read that pole vault girl got fat.

  22. Lies

  23. So you only view women by their viability as brood mares. Interesting perspective, Leon.

  24. Maybe Allison got married.

    So you only view women by their viability as brood mares.

    It’s not me, it’s this accursed weight of 10000 successful generations of Homo Sapiens Sapiens and a bit of Homo Sapiens Neanderthalis ancestry all telling me “no fat chicks”.

  25. The Venus of Willendorf would disagree.

  26. Or she would, if she had a mouth or a face or any kind of features on her head whatsoever.

  27. I persist in believing that that thing is meant to depict an enormously-overfed female, something only witnessed in years of extreme good harvests and so forth. I don’t think they found that form attractive so much as they were praying for what it represented.

  28. I’m pretty sure it represented Paleolithic Walmart.

  29. >>>The Venus of Willendorf would disagree

    I’d hit it

  30. Or she would, if she had a mouth or a face or any kind of features on her head whatsoever.

    I can’t possibly imagine why a man would reimagine a woman without a mouth.

    *dons body armor and runs like hell*

  31. May the fourth

  32. Venu of Willendorf + 1000 generations = your mom

  33. Only seven tuckers today.

  34. Number nine did a good job of shaving his back but that thong is pretty gay.

  35. Gilbert Gottfried has a podcast and it’s pretty good.

  36. Captain Kirk’s ladies are disappearing. Sounds like she had a rough time after ST.

  37. Sounds like Leonard Nimoy helped her get out of alcoholism later in life.

  38. She had a tough time before ST.

    Article is confusing.

  39. There’s a decent article on about her.

  40. Lots of stories about Nimoy away from acting lead me to believe he was a pretty decent human being.

  41. Yeah, I think as Hollywood guys go he was okay. Plus, he wrote an exquisitely bad book of poetry. It was hilarious. I’ve seen it.

  42. Is O’Malley going to get real and fight Cankles for position of Eight-Years-Dictator? Aren’t there any ambitious Dems left?

  43. Get ready for the First Rapist Husband. There’s really no limit to the entitlement of this crime family.

  44. In the best of hands.

    The FDNY for the first time in its history will allow someone who failed its crucial physical-fitness test to join the Bravest, The Post has learned. Rebecca Wax, 33, is set to graduate Tuesday from the Fire Academy without passing the Functional Skills Training test, a grueling obstacle course of job-related tasks performed in full gear with a limited air supply, an insider has revealed.

  45. Cankles Rankles 2016

  46. Hillary Clinton and Imelda Marcos: is there a difference?

  47. Imelda was fluent in Spanish.

  48. Marcos is old, but she’s out of the way.

  49. Hahahaha

    Ace broke his own blog.

  50. Ace broke his own blog.

    So then, we know it’s a day that ends in “Y”.

  51. He fixt it, but some of the early comments were hilarious.

  52. Are you a pole vaulter?

    No, I’m a German.

    And how did you that my name was Vaulter?

  53. Vaulter is a german pole smoker.

  54. Heh

  55. Just reading that vivid account triggered me.

  56. “triggered”

  57. Dang! Pretty impressive; wondering how many times he had to video each throwing event.

  58. I bet his camera has a self-facing screen. Still impressive, but not entirely blind throws.

    I also wonder if his girlfriend makes that face every time there’s a wiener presented.


  60. XBrad does not have fond memories of his early training days.

  61. I bet that guy thinks a jock strap is a dust mask too.

  62. Hey, armor for your balls seems pretty sensible to me.

  63. Great day off. Watched Avengers. Really getting sick of SJWs ruining everything.

  64. Did they ruin Avengers? I haven’t seem it yet and don’t feel especially motivated. IM3 soured me on the whole Marvel franchise.

  65. No Spoilers!!!!!

  66. Spoilers-

  67. I won’t link it here, but if my gif sources are correct, Black Widow goes Green if you know what I mean.

  68. No, I don’t.

  69. No spoilers.

  70. Eight poats in the last 2:45. Did some of you fuknozzles get jobs or something?

  71. I was out having lunch at Jack in the Box.

  72. I was jacking your mom’s box

  73. The beach guy in the second picture did perhaps the worst job of tucking in the history of this sorry weekly feature.

  74. What does SWJ’s mean?

  75. I was busy checking your mom’s privilege.

  76. I’d link it for you Jay, but it’s really graphic and wrong on many levels.

  77. Social Justice Warriors. They’re the fucks that are ruining EVERY THING!

  78. Oh, well then, fuck ’em.

  79. Good day, people whose speech needs to be censored because some lunatic doesn’t care for it.

  80. I’m still at work and slept 5 hours last night, tough to feel chatty.

    I don’t think I want to do this any more today.

  81. Do what? Your job? Drew Cary had a routine about that. “There’s a therapy group for people with your exact same problem. They meet every night at the bar.”

  82. I’m walking through the Sys Admin’s Guide that we wrote executing it line by line. The longer one does this, the greater the error % grows, until you hit critical mass and no longer make real progress.

    Also I finally found a bug in my code, induced by our software-auditing program, of course. I will fix that in the morning.

    Also drinking is right out, what I need is sleep and plenty of it.

  83. Cop father of one of my patients was wearing his NYPD shirt this afternoon when he brought his daughter in today. Only later did I realize the meaning when I read that Brian Moore, the NYPD cop shot over the weekend, had died.

  84. Wearing an American flag tee to work tomorrow. Since HS kids in Cali aren’t allowed to wear them on Cinco de Mayo. Yes, I know there are limits to free speech in school.

  85. Where I come from, drinking and sleeping are not mutually exclusive. The house I’m renting has a hot tub, I’ve been getting in it every night with a tall rum and coke and a novel. Soak for an hour then sleep like a dead man with a clear conscience.

  86. Fuck Cinco de Quatro.

  87. I’m planning a cold shower then reading 2 Peter. Should do the trick.

  88. Soak for an hour then sleep like a dead man with a clear conscience.

    Sounds like a scene from Weekend at Bernie’s.

  89. Heh. I always said you can’t trust Zoners. Both peeps killed in Garland were from AZ. Shared a religion, but let’s not jump to any conclusions. I’m going with heat and haboubs.

  90. I got yer haboubs right here.

  91. Cyn’s gonna be feature on Big Haboub Friday.

  92. I saw Heat and Haboubs open for Midnight Oil back in ’91.

  93. *waits not so quiescently for Cyns big haboubs*

  94. I’m so old, I remember when a terrorist attack in the US comes before the naming of a foreign royal baby on the news.

  95. I’m so old, I remember when comments here were occasionally funny.

  96. Hahaha I love you.

  97. Eff off!

    (nothing personal, I’m just getting into practice)

  98. Heres a funny comment. Fuck you and the inflatable sheep you rode in on.

  99. I really enjoyed your post with the “Eff off!” I’m still adding “And shit” to everything.

  100. ha-bOOb

  101. I’m so old, I remember when the “I’m so old I remember when _____” schtick was still fresh.

  102. Haboob. Got it.

  103. BTW, that ha-BOOB pic above was taken at TITS just before we got inside the restaurant. Within a minute it was upon us.

  104. I think I did well at tonight’s auction.

  105. I recognized it immediately – so glad we made it to Monti’s before it hit!

  106. What kind of junk goods did you find this evening, Scott?

  107. IAfro puhlease

  108. I got this

    for $50.

  109. Cyn,
    When it does that is it like; Grit in your eyes, mouth, nose, etc?
    The only time we get that here in the PNW is when Mt, St. Helens erupts.
    The rest of the time it’s just drizzle and gray…

  110. Don’t people know what they have?

  111. Any of you guys have something like overpriced cheesy ceramic dogs for sale? I’m asking for Mother’s Day.

  112. I’m so old, I remember when a terrorist attack in the US comes before the naming of a foreign royal baby on the news.

    I have been reliably informed from the Obama administration that there is NO war on terror because he won it long ago. Personally.

  113. Yes and no, Jay. Auctions are all about fast money, not best value.

  114. Those are some fine bitches, scott.

  115. Checked out Scott’s link. One Kings Lane on my facedouche sidebar.

  116. Hahhahah. Me too! The same dogs.

  117. Did anybody notice that the mole on anybody else’s face had gotten considerably larger and hairier since the last time they saw each other today?


  119. My facial mole is red…and hair free. My chin on the other hand…

  120. I saw Facial Mole open for Hair at the Palladium in ’73.

  121. Taya Kyle and 30 other new book releases in the AM. Only a handful of movies. Scheduled at 5:15. G’night

  122. Members of Rutgers’ Student Association (SA) recently passed a bill to create black, Latino, Asian, and third-gender mascot friends to accompany the school’s original “Scarlet Knight” mascot adopted in 1955.

    According to the Daily Targum, the bill came to fruition after first-year student Emmet Brennan noticed the mascot’s fair skin and blue eyes while working as a press box server during the university’s football games.

    “This does not seem right,” Brennan, who also serves as an SA parliamentarian, told the Daily Targum, adding that “our mascot does not represent how diverse we are as a school.”

    Your school needs a headless mascot to represent its mentally defective and vacant student body.

  123. Your school needs a headless mascot to represent its mentally defective and vacant student body.

    One of the things I love about the show Community is that they mock this kind of crap. The Greendale “Human Being”.

  124. I’m the living result
    Of a man who’s been hurt a little too much
    And I’ve tasted, the bitterness of my own tears
    Sadness is all my lonely derp can feel

  125. Morning. Early start today when we kick off our busy spine season which runs May-Mid August. It doesn’t help that it coincides with peak trauma and our vacation season.

  126. Nice glass dogs Scott. Gently used, one owner…a little old lady who feather dusted them once a week. Hope you can turn them around for profit!

  127. Not sure if this wasn’t linked already but who cares:

  128. That seems like a really bad idea.

  129. I was asleep or almost so from 9pm to 730am.

    Glorious. I’m doing that again ASAP.

  130. I have to pick up some stuff in……….Naugatuck today.

    I’ll see if I can find a shirt for Cyn.

  131. Naugatuck shot glasses.

  132. First I need to find the Naugatuck tourist trap.

  133. Morning!

  134. Wakey wakey 2.

  135. Hope y’all are having a WONDERFUL day!

    My life is awesome, and I love testing.

  136. Interesting article for you liquor enthusiasts

  137. Happy Cinco de Mayo, y’all!

  138. Happy made up bullshit holiday.

  139. heh

  140. There was an idiot at the auction last night. If he bid on something he wouldn’t stop until he won, each and every time.

    I normally wouldn’t care, but the jerk was interested in all lots that I was.

    After losing the first two to him, I ran up the prices on everything else he wanted.

  141. Americans who actually celebrate Cinco de Mayo are as dumb as blacks who claim to be African-Americans. In both cases, the suit doesn’t fit so why in the hell are they wearing it?

  142. Happy Cinco de Kwanzaa

  143. Hahahhaa

  144. I think virtually everyone who “celebrates” Cinco de Mayo just looks at it as an excuse for a party.

  145. I ran up the prices on everything else he wanted.


  146. So who needs an excuse to party?

  147. So who needs an excuse to party?
    Without a theme, it quickly becomes just being a drunk.

  148. I need no excuse to party. I am quite fond of Sinko de Pinko; however, because of all the outstanding drink specials and parties that got out of hand over the years.

    Viva Los Gringos Day!

  149. Probably NSFW

  150. the chode monster town council and its mom strengthened that bylaw to include online insults.

    Okay, which one of you guys lives in Granby, Canada?

  151. Also, I believe the American English spelling is “choad,” but Hotspur is the expert on orthography here.

  152. If she’s not already an honorary Hostagette, she should be.

  153. Kathy has actually posted here. I had a semi after that.

  154. Come on now. Jeb is actually trolling us.

  155. So no Tuesday poat?

  156. I’m up.


    I’ll put one up.

  157. The name Tuesday derives from the Old English “Tiwesdæg” and literally means “Tiw’s Day”. Tiw is the Old English form of the Proto-Germanic god *Tîwaz, or Týr in Norse, a god of war and law.

    Oh well. I was hoping it was Norse for something like “your mom.”

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