Court is now in session.

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Yes, it’s absolutely real.

192 Comments

  1. Flori-d’uh!

  2. Fat fingers accidentally hit the down rating….

  3. Fixt

  4. It’s not nice to post your mom’s divorce papers.

  5. Help me, somebody help me
    I wonder where I am
    I see my future before me
    I’ll derp you when I can
    It seems like I’ve been here before

  6. tl;dr

  7. Where’s our official summarizer?

  8. Summarized: yesterday sucked. And so did your mom.

  9. Wakey wakey. Can’t get internet going this morning

  10. Good morning! Would one of you tell me what this post is about? I’m not up to reading court documents without the first coffee down my gullet.

  11. *kicks router, pours coffee on it

    That seems to have done the trick

  12. We’ll need XBad to show up around noon to decipher it.

  13. Coffee is so versatile!

  14. I need a summary. I’m not trying to do scribd on my phone.

  15. I’m pretty sure it’s about all your moms.

  16. Today’s post seems a lot like work. Meh.

  17. If the GOP had any balls they’d screw the libs like they always do to us and say, “NOPE” to Lynch’s nomination. They should say, “Sometimes National security is more important than poor deals made under pressure.”

    I just heard that asshole McConnell say they’d keep their word. Yeah, he’s a real stand up guy with the libs. The base? Not so much.

  18. MJ, you need to save your strength.

  19. Good point.

    *slouches to gatorade

  20. MJ, xbradtc told me penis pumps don’t work. Why he told me, I don’t know.

    So anyway, don’t go there.

  21. Your mom says Xbrad lies.

  22. Huh. I didn’t know mare was Asian.

    http://is.gd/TV9ojU

  23. Someone ban brad for this poat. Or at least kick him in the nads.

  24. *kicks xmom’s purse

    There, HS. I took care of it for you.

  25. *high fives MJ*

  26. *Low fives, MJ*

    *possibly cooler than a high five*

  27. *oops accidentally punches MJ in the junk trying to low five*

  28. MARE!!! He’s going to need that.

  29. Can’t get scribd to work. Can someone post a screenshot?

  30. So .. Mare … what do you think of Taubes and his work? I’m thinking about buying his book. I mean, I KNOW the idea behind it all, but I’m really curious what he advocates one eat day-to-day.

  31. *oops accidentally punches MJ in the junk trying to low five*

    Muppets have junk? Is it made of felt and Velcro?

  32. I’m onboard, Carin. I think many moons ago (Indian-racist!!) I asked Leon about Taubes and as you know Leon is my go-to guy for anything scientifical I believe his analysis was positive.

    What’s good enough for Leon is good enough for me.

    *sad Leon can’t have sexy time due to wife’s touch and go pregnancy*

    *touch and go sounds dirty*

  33. http://tinyurl.com/p5j3xk6

  34. MARE!!! He’s going to need that.

    ——-

    Yikes, you’re right. Asks xbtradtc to massage MJ so the next two weeks won’t be a bust.

  35. Okay, xbradtc’s screen shot has made me curious about the rest of the cray cray lady’s screed.

  36. Comment by some random guy on April 23, 2015 9:39 am
    Your mom says Xbrad lies.

    ——

    Left SRG, right,mare:

    http://imgur.com/r/gifs/dNyoEfL

  37. Mare, i need someone to do the diet with me, and Leon’s a no-go to deal with given his lack of sexy time. It’s probably making him cray cray.

    So, when do we start?

  38. Okay, Carin, do we pick a day here and do a check in at a certain time?

    I’ll be visiting my daughter for two weeks and she doesn’t have Wifi (my life as I know it will be over) so I may have spotty visits here. Although the Dunkin Donuts near her has free Wifi but that may be counter productive.

    Also, how much do you want to lose? I was under the understanding that you are flat stomached, fit person. Is this just about improving your diet in general?

    I’m a poochie stomached, fit person.

  39. Look like Hillary is just about done.

  40. I’d like to lose 10 pounds although I’m not sure if I can. I’m in good shape, but could stand to lose a little. 130-35 used to be my perfect weight, but that was before crossfit, so I may have added a bit of muscle. My pants still fit, I’d just like them to be looser.

    I’m starting today. Taubes is ok with low sugar fruit, right? Because I just ate a grapefruit.

  41. I think my biggest problem is eating when I work. I tend to not eat for a long period of time, come home starving and then eat – before I go to sleep. I also think I need to cut down on the “after work” glass (or two) of wine.

  42. Someone should do a mashup with Hillary to the tune of “Royals”.

  43. Well, regardless, I too love grapefruit and eat it like an orange so I’m not giving that up. But don’t have it too often. I will do some perusing of Taubes guidelines.

    It has been near 3 weeks since I’ve had wine and it has not made a difference which irritates me. I think I was substituting sugar.

    I need a good 20 pounds off.

  44. DON’T SAY THAT.

    Three weeks w/o wine? No difference.

    WHat is the point?

    I’ve gone five weeks w/o eating anything bad. Low carb. No treats. I’ve lost 2 pounds.

  45. I think I’m going to get taubes book for my kindle. See if we’re missing something.

  46. Page 115 is the short form:

    http://garytaubes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/WWGF-Readers-Digest-feature-Feb-2011.pdf

  47. You should switch to a glass or two of wine before work.

  48. You missed me saying, “I think I was substituting sugar.”

    *eating chocolate
    *eating taro chips and sweet potato chips
    *greek yogurt (flavored, huge sugar trap)
    *oh and one day I ate a whole package of red vines

    So I’m not innocent in this horrid affair.

  49. My hormones seem to be working against me. The severe night sweats/chills that I had for a few months went away, two weeks ago (in a slightly milder form) they came back so sleeping has been rough.

  50. The whole Democrat power machine is sleepwalking its way to 2016. Hillary can’t quit. Cannot. There are only two ways she leaves.
    1) She is beaten in the primaries
    2) An exogenous event provides a plausible excuse for her to drop out, such as she suffers some “health” issue. No one is going to prosecute her for anything. No one in power wants to do so.

  51. Some are speculating that her “concussion” will make a comeback.

  52. That would suffice. But no illegal activities will ever get a Clinton to quit or actually suffer punishment.

  53. Ah. I can avoid sugar with little difficulty. Also, I get dark chocolate and mix it with almond butter and figs to satisfy that .

  54. And the left thought Reagan was teflon coated. Is there a dem who isn’t?

  55. What greek yogurt are you eating? Taubes is OK with dairy. You could make your own.

  56. Also don’t forget that Wall Street is perfectly comfortable with the Clintoons. They have happily paid the Danegeld. GE won’t release e-mails to the Clintoon Crime Foundation.

  57. their e-mails

  58. Oikos and Fage. Oh and every now and then Walmart brand.

  59. I’m reading my alumni magazine and there was a little item about a guy donating a set of Stonehill College cornhole boards for use at alumni events.

    The guy works at New England Custom Cornhole. Not making this shit up…

  60. Ah. I can avoid sugar with little difficulty.

    ——-

    *stabs Carin with a red vine*

  61. Sugar, for me, is a spiral thing. The more I eat, the more i want. The less I eat, the less I crave.

  62. I saw New England Custom Cornhole open for the Stone Temple Pilots in Waterbury.

  63. Twenty-two of the 37 corporations nominated for a prestigious State Department award — and six of the eight ultimate winners — while Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State were also donors to the Clinton family foundation.

    I blame the vast right wing conspiracy.

    Like I said, Wall Street has bought and paid for the Clintoons.

  64. […] blog of the day is The H2, with a post poat noting that court is in […]

  65. This has to be the work of Obama.

    She’s done.

  66. Jonah Goldberg just said this morning on Coffee And Markets that barring some incredible event, Hillary is certain to be the Dem nominee.

    She will have to be forced out of the race and no amount of scandal (yawn) will do it.

  67. “Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign is launching a major grassroots organizing effort Wednesday, sending staffers to every single state to start building an infrastructure of volunteers ready to pound the pavement.
    What’s being called the “Ramp Up Grassroots Organizing Program” will have paid staffers in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and the territories through the end of May. “

  68. Putin was just doing some grassroot organizing in Ukraine and Crimea. Duh.

  69. Even Krauthammer sees only one person who can challenge Cankles, and she’s not running; Cankles will be sure she doesn’t.

    “I think she’ll get herself on the correct side for her own Left as a way to prevent Elizabeth Warren,” predicted Krauthammer. “I could see [Warren] getting so upset about this, and making it her big issue, that it could provoke her entry into the race. And as Steve [Hayes] said, the one thing she wants to do, Hillary, is keep Warren out of the race, because she’s the only one who can challenge her.”

    Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/417343/krauthammers-take-hillarys-free-trade-meltdown-may-pull-warren-race-nr-staff

  70. I don’t think the prognosticators are going to be very accurate this election cycle. Not at this point. Of course, this far out of the ’08 election, they didn’t have it right either. so …

  71. We may as well have Hillary so we can get her over with.

  72. The MFM will drag Cankles over the finish line unless some other Dim decides to really get into the race.

  73. We already have a more adult muppet, who is currently struggling with candy bar addiction. Perhaps more of his sordid sex life will soon leak out too.

  74. I’m not saying the Obama gang hates Hillary enough to be putting this stuff out there, but I’m fairly certain they hate her enough they’ve greenlit people to go fishing.

  75. It’s her turn.

  76. Thanx for the article clip, Mare. I remember one summer back in the early 90’s my dad and I went on the Atkin’s diet just for fun. We bbq’d every night anyway but now we could eat meat only and drank beer (which is a carb, I think, whatever). Anyway we had a blast and he lost ten lbs and I didn’t because I was 24. Long summer story short my mother made us quit because we were having way too much fun and she was worried we would hurt our hearts.
    I’m happy to report that I’m not as fat as he was in his mid 40’s and I think it’s because I don’t drink as much beer and I do a moderate amount of exercise. ten to twenty min of wind sprints three times a week is all I’ve ever done for exercise. It works for me and even if it didn’t keep me healthy I can easily get away from the cops, so there’s that.

  77. *sprints to the fridge for a beer*

  78. get me one while you’re in there.

  79. Hey, man!

    http://tinyurl.com/nq4joht

  80. This has to be the work of Obama.
    She’s done.

    I don’t know. I’m as cynical as the dead guy on this.

    I think this is throwing everything out there and then say ‘it’s all old news….it’s been dealt with….nothing every came of it, so the Clintons are upstanding honest pols.
    They have taken too much money from the richest of the rich to leave now.

  81. Though my looney tunes brother loves him some Warren. He thinks Clinton is too ‘right wing’.

  82. I agree, Beasn. $2.5bil can buy a lot of “grassroots”.

    It would be so easy to beat Hillopy if only we had a two party system…

    Sad.

  83. I keep wanting that fag to fall off.

  84. Hardcore parkour

    http://is.gd/Y34jAA

  85. Freaking awesome!

  86. I suspect many well-heeled Dims and most proggies are looking at each other saying in private “How did we get stuck with her?” Nevertheless after Licorice Dick, the Clintons still have the most pull and prestige in the Dangerous Party. And it doesn’t seem that LD has erected a network of operatives with the bloodthirsty fealty to him that rivals the loyalty enjoyed by the Clintons. The only way Cankles and her rapist husband and her privileged fugly sinecure of a one percenter daughter will be stopped is if Democrats themselves put an oaken stake through their hearts. Beat the shit out of her in their primary or hope for another concussion.

    If that shrill hag becomes dictator for four years, she’s going to behave with the rationality of Rasputin, the temperance of Commodus and the probity of Ferdinand Marcos.

  87. …and the flatulence of Le Pétomane

  88. Yes

  89. Good Day, Kitten.

  90. And to you, Mr. C.

  91. Miss me?

  92. Always

    *curtsies and reloads*

  93. I swear, there’s a pressure switch on the seat of my comfy chair. Every fucking time I sit down, XMom calls for me to come talk to her about some stupid shit that I’ve either already taken care of, or can wait five fucking minutes.

  94. My Campari+Soda tells me my day is improving, thank you.

  95. Priapus Gluteus

    http://imgur.com/gallery/C6DKVWR

  96. You need CCTVXBradTCLMNOPPDQ

  97. I can’t even get her to use the walkie talkies.

  98. That’s a shame. Would she use a bullhorn? You should give it a go. Radio Shack $49!

  99. But I like my little FRS walkie talkies.

  100. I like mine, too.

  101. I need to upgrade to a five pack.

  102. I got the cheapest FRS/GMRS radios I could find. I don’t quite get the advertised range, but good enough for the few times I’ve needed walkie talkies.

  103. I’m going to Hockeytown.

    Check you later.

  104. Wow. Thunder, lightning, and rain here!

  105. Won’t you take me to… Hockeytown?

  106. LauraW?

  107. http://is.gd/UiyIIG

  108. *adds teratoma “Evil Twin Defense” to repertoire*

  109. snowed here today… hmm

    *side eyes mare*

  110. Did anybody recognize anybody else’s vehicle in an Amber Alert today?

  111. Rush discussed Hillary’s big IRS news and wasn’t it amazing that a rescue/raid that took place in January would pull Hillary’s lying ass off the top of the news TODAY.

    Deals have been made.

  112. snowed here today… hmm
    *side eyes mare*

    —–

    What did I do????

  113. Hillary is done. DONE.

  114. GO has a thing for her, but he’s wrong.

  115. Eww

  116. Xbrad,
    That was my first thought, too, when I read about the teratoma…

  117. Comment by beasn on April 23, 2015 2:55 pm
    Though my looney tunes brother loves him some Warren. He thinks Clinton is too ‘right wing’.

    —–

    That is absolutely non rational.

  118. There are fucktards out there who think Obama is a squishy centrist, Mare.

    Fucktard was the nicest word I could think of.

    Also I’m hurt that Carin won’t diet with me. I was going to suggest this one.

  119. I am home safe, I know you were all worried.

    Time to take the trash to the curb and then sleep until my first meeting tomorrow morning.

  120. Leon, I’ll do that diet with you (as well as Carin) if I can drink wine.

  121. Met Roamy for dinner tonight. Two squishy hugs and 3 rum and cokes make for a fine evening.

  122. Has to be a dry, fortified wine.

  123. What does kimchee taste like? I’m loving the kimchee ramen noodles I’ve been getting from the asian food store (ironically enough, made in the USA)

  124. Spicy sauerkraut.

  125. How was the Golden Arches Supper Club this evening, buffalone?

  126. I was hoping that wasn’t true, I hate sauerkraut

  127. All I know, is that this soup is HOT!

  128. The pepper can overpower the cabbage in some formulations. Try some sometime, the actual fermented stuff can be really good.

  129. Kimchee comes in a variety of flavors and levels of spiciness, and some have relatively low cabbage content.

    It’s pretty good if you drink enough soju with it.

  130. http://i.imgur.com/ljc2Qti.png

  131. as if you need a reminder…

  132. There is a little local restaurant, “Aversanos”, that serves a “Sauerkraut Pizza”. It’s great!
    I recommend it to folks who, invariably, lift a brow and offer; “What the fuck”?
    The sauerkraut is just a seasoning on a “Supreme Pizza”(with everything), as it would be known in other venues. It is really good.

    I tell people; “Go order it. If you do not enjoy it, I will pay the bill.”
    Nobody has come to to collect…

  133. This “The Botanist” Gin is quite good
    Howdy Do Hostages?

  134. Howdy Vman,
    Hope all is well with you…

  135. It is Chris,
    It is also getting hot and muggy here in Texas. It is late April after all.
    How are you? How is the Northwet?
    Wait! sorry about the weatherblog.

  136. Vman, we had a thunderstorm here today, but it’s cleared off, and it’s very nice and pleasant, and not at all muggy here.

    Desert living occasionally has its upside.

  137. After a few days of sunny ’60s, we are back to the rainy 50s and the corn seedlings are back inside. It is the NorthWet, after all…
    We are talking about retiring to the Texas hill country and getting out of the liberal shit-hole that is WA State…

  138. We had virga today. Dan insists on pronouncing it “Verga”. He’s a douche.

  139. Nice Xbad

    I have not been to the hill country Chris but it is only a few hours from here. My niece is visiting in a month or so perhaps we will check it out then.

  140. Vmax,
    Look at Maple Falls and surrounding areas.
    Seems to be out of tornado alley and flash-flood country.
    Trees and hills. Motorcycle country…

  141. NYTOL…

  142. I found Marble Falls Tx, but Google Earth is choking on maple falls

  143. My haircut was the big hit at The Club. Member having a seizure and pissing herself was total yawn. My favorite reaction was from one of our African associates. He thought I looked like a different person. Very pretty. I made him feel like crap walking that back.

  144. Re-watching X-Men First Class. I remember when the Missiles of October was a big fucking deal. The Clintons give our tech to ChiComs and now uranium to the Soviets and fucking crickets. (Putin=Soviet Russia)

  145. Between 2009 and 2012, the Clinton Foundation raised over $500 million dollars according to a review of IRS documents by The Federalist (2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008). A measly 15 percent of that, or $75 million, went towards programmatic grants. More than $25 million went to fund travel expenses. Nearly $110 million went toward employee salaries and benefits. And a whopping $290 million during that period — nearly 60 percent of all money raised — was classified merely as “other expenses.” Official IRS forms do not list cigar or dry-cleaning expenses as a specific line item. The Clinton Foundation may well be saving lives, but it seems odd that the costs of so many life-saving activities would be classified by the organization itself as just random, miscellaneous expenses.

    Come on, Demmies and proggies… do you really want this Clinton bitch as your dictator? Or do you like having foreign fascists buying and selling your sorry OWS asses?

  146. I would *love* too take a look at the “other” expenses. How many went to other foundations and non-profits, that then turned around and used those monies to make grants to others, and then others only to turn out to fund “get out the vote” and “issue advocacy” groups that just happen to align with Hillary!

  147. Yawn. Asked and answered. Ready for a woman in 2016. Or Cankles. Same diff

  148. Never mind the “other expenses” *cough lining Hillary’s pockets cough*.
    What do you make of a “charitable foundation” whose salaries and benefits outweigh actual charity given out by 50%? Compare $75m in charity to $110m in salaries. The only recipients of charity at the Clintoon Crime Foundation are the fucking cockroach Clintoons themselves, including Chelsea the Chimp.

  149. My only hope at this point is that Cankles decides to get out of the race after having some sort of Harry Reid moment/incident.

    Hi, NSA!

  150. Adam freaking Sandler is filming a movie in NM that is a look at the depiction of Natives in Hollywood Westerns, and Natives in the movie are getting all butthurt about the way they’re depicted.

  151. I’ve heard that the Clinton’s didn’t take a salary. An officer salary at a private foundation of 1% of assets wouldn’t raise any eyebrows at IRS. And salaries for non-officer permanent staff are pretty much unregulated.

    As Ace said, the Clinton Foundation is a jobs program for their campaign staff between elections.

  152. And the Clinton’s don’t need the actual cash money from the Foundation for themselves. The money is a means to exert power and influence. That’s what they want.

  153. Working with an AZ Navajo. Fucker has no sense of humor. He’s all militant and shit. I’m thinking about calling him “Hopi” just because he’s such a douche.

  154. You don’t need to take a salary when your “foundation” is paying most of your extravagant lifestyle expenses. Nevertheless, I’m looking at the ratio of salaries to actual charity paid out. If this is a charity, I’m George Clooney.

  155. XB, yep. Too bad we don’t have a group of people committed to telling these stories to LIVs by crossing the I’s and dotting the Ts

  156. Lois Lerner has the nose for ferreting out charitable abuse

  157. IIRC, Private foundations only need to distribute 5% of their holdings annually. Beyond that, they’re pretty much unregulated.

  158. Sounds like math. LIVs H8 math

  159. I lurves me some math. Trigonometry baby!

  160. Private foundations only need to distribute 5% of their holdings annually. Beyond that, they’re pretty much unregulated.

    Which is why the Clintoon Crime Foundation needs to be mocked for what it is: grifting from the one percent. If a foundation that calls itself charitable in the vernacular sense only distributes 5% of their holdings, they aren’t a charity, no matter how strictly legal they may be.

  161. Well, a lot of private family foundations are based on a one time gift from the family. You know, mom and dad die and use their trust to set up a fdn. They want it to last a while. Back when investments might reasonably make 6 or 7% annually, a 5% distro meant the fdn could do its mission and still grow its endowment.

    Re: the Clintons, does anyone think these foreign governments are giving literally HUNDREDS of millions of dollars and not expecting something in return?

  162. Call me petty, I mean every word
    The “and’s”, the “if’s”, the “but’s”, and the “the’s”
    Derp me because I’m worth hating

  163. Today’s BBF will be the late morning variety.

  164. The Clinton Foundation is also an excellent job opportunity for Chelsea, who sucked at the teevee thing. Pumps up her resume (she’s VP!!!!)

  165. wakey wakey

  166. Also I’m hurt that Carin won’t diet with me. I was going to suggest this one.
    Comment by leoncaruthers on April 23, 2015 9:35 pm
    *****

    Leon, I’ll do that diet with you (as well as Carin) if I can drink wine.

    The Drinking Man diet sounds excellent. BUt I think I need to start restricting the wine. I’m good with everything else.

    WINE RESTRICTION STARTS TODAY

    *cries softly into coffee

  167. I think I would love Chrispy’s pizza with sauerkraut.

    Chrispy’s pizza is not a euphemism.

  168. *cries softly into coffee
    ——–

    *cries with Carin but loudly, with snot and drool, and horrible red eyes.

  169. *cracks open a nice dry cabernet*
    drinks will be served in about 2 minutes – who’s in?

  170. If I could forgo the wine on nights I work – I just need to figure out how to unwind and go to bed. Then I can enjoy it on my days off AND THE POUNDS WILL MELT AWAY.

  171. Carin the latest issue of American Rifleman opens the Armed Citizen section with an 11yo girl from lapeer county…

  172. Don’t mess with Lapeer folks.

  173. *raises hand*

  174. I just need to figure out how to unwind and go to bed.

    Vaping.

  175. *slaps mare’s hand down

  176. There’s always prayer.

  177. Then I can enjoy it on my days off AND THE POUNDS WILL MELT AWAY.

    ——-

    Oh, youthful naiveté! Oh, mind and spirit that which has not been beaten down by the hammer of reality.

  178. Carin, you are a good diet partner. Slapping hands is indeed effective.

  179. I don’t know about sauerkraut, but kim chee, anchovies, & thin-sliced potatoes with an egg on top makes for a damned good pizza. Home-made dough, in the nude.

  180. Oh, youthful naiveté! Oh, mind and spirit that which has not been beaten down by the hammer of reality.

    Eh, it’s got to be that. ANd my after work snacks. I’m a good eater otherwise.

    YOU JUST WATCH AND SEE

  181. I just eat too darn much.

  182. I’m really good. I can put things offlimits and not think twice. It’s the after work thing. I have to take protein bars to work or something (which, I KNOW aren’t good, but if I have a beefy one for “dinner” at an appropriate time, it would be better than skipping, then eating late)

  183. I snack too much.

  184. The Fairfax trip was extremely stressful. At some point I said “f it” and I’m super-bloated this morning. 6# heavier than I was Sunday.

    Might just be water and maybe protein today. I feel hungover.

  185. And by snack I mean eat.

  186. Don’t go to the dark side, Leon.

    The force is with you.

    Do, or do not, there is no try.

    *can’t remember anymore Star Wars quotes*

  187. New post. This one sucks a million dicks.


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