Saturday–The Day Hillary Practices Her Totally Genuine Laugh and Shocked Face Expression

Please to be enjoying the Smashing Pumpkins? Eh, me neither but I’m running low on candy related songs. So crank it up to 11 and rock the fuck out to Jellybelly.


Pictured: Three of MJ’s favorite things

It’s a beautiful day here in Charlotte. Tonight is the annual criterium— a 50 mile bike race on a very short course through the city. I can walk downstairs take in a bit of the race, bring a cocktail with me, then duck back upstairs if I need to use the loo.

Life is good, fuckers.

So what are you up to this weekend? Gardening? A bit of Zumba?



  1. candyass….

  2. I sense something small and covered in felt has entered the blog.

  3. About a month ago, Joe Bastardi said that it would be colder than normal from 3/20-4/10. After 4/10 he said, it would be warmer than average.

    Our weather changed on 4/10, and it’s warm again.

  4. Yup.

  5. You laugh now, but wait until Cankles has her victory dance. Could still happen. The Clintoons know where a lot of bodies are buried.

  6. She’s going to crash and burn.

  7. Dickbutt never gets old. Plus, a whole new generation will soon be learning to draw him on their Apple Watches.

  8. I sure hope Cankles crashes, but she apparently hasn’t used up her nine lives just yet.

  9. Just imagine if John McCain ran again.

    That’s how democrats feel.

    They will fall in love with something new and shiny.

  10. Let’s hope the shiny shiny shows up soon. Or not? Cankles is a horrible campaigner. She ought to be easy to beat.

  11. The guy from Md, who plays guitar and doesn’t wear a shirt.
    He might be the guy.

  12. Oh, and McCain is running again, for Senator. He’s like that movie monster that can’t be killed.

  13. Hilary can’t play guitar or take off her shirt.

  14. Hillary can take off her shirt, but you have to see in a mirror, or you turn into stone.

  15. Hillary isn’t even good at playing the victim.

  16. Hillary can take off her shirt

    Please to never speak of this again.
    Thank you for your cooperation.
    Come again.

  17. The worst job in the world: Hillary Clinton’s bedroom mirror.

    Second worst job: Her pantsuit.

  18. It’s wisertime! Unfortunately it’s also T. Hill time too.

  19. Tom Hill makes my dog seem like a genius.

  20. *hires Cyn’s dog as real estate broker *

  21. “Naugatuck”


  22. I was taking a mid-morning nap until my daughter called to tell me there was a spider in her bathroom and she needed to get in there and brush her teeth.


    Told me I was to blame for her being a failure. Had I made her kill the spiders when she was younger, she would not be having an anxiety inducing morning.

  23. Cankles needs to be wearing an orange jumpsuit and shackles.

  24. >>The worst job in the world: Hillary Clinton’s bedroom mirror.
    Second worst job: Her pantsuit.

    Actually Huma has the worst job in the world. Hillary’s taco-taster.

  25. Oh, and don’t forget to:

  26. Actually Huma has the worst job in the world. Hillary’s taco-taster.

    You just killed my appetite for the next twenty years.

  27. Worst job ever?

    Hillary’s Spanx.

  28. Holy crap. Literally. Look at today’s

  29. From the woot comments

    —4 hours ago permalink thomas998
    quality posts: 22 Private Messages thomas998
    Is there a California model that just blows dust and sand instead of water?

  30. You know which state has been buying a lot of these from woot?
    New Messico. Oso needs to esplain.

  31. No periscope stream here… only for iPhones it seems.

  32. *periscopes Cyn*

  33. L to R

    Beanseseses, Buffalone

  34. Thank you wiser, for cutting down that prick Tim Cook.

  35. “Hey, remember that time I lied to that mother about catching the maker of the video that was supposedly responsible for her son’s murder, right in front of the coffin that held her son’s remains? Oh, goodness, that was hilarious, wasn’t it? Good times…. good times….”


    Nailed it Wiser, this is so horrific, it enrages me.

  36. But, hey, FUNNY and WARM!

  37. Wiser is right and his interlocutor is wrong.

  38. George, I recently installed what Woot is selling. I installed a good quality Japanese one, instead of that no-brand stuff. I highly recommend it.

  39. Pics or GTFO. Because bathroom privilege.

  40. *leaves treefiddy on the nightstand for Jimbro*

  41. George, i will put up some pics(of the new toilet, not my happy ass) later.

  42. Boy, I’m an idiot. Can’t figure out how to get Periscope to connect to WATR.

  43. I’ve followed wiser but is the feed on some other username?

  44. Okay, @SESWATR, but they aren’t live?

  45. They should be, George, but I finally gave up searching.
    Hopefully next time Radiobud will send out a tweet that will provide us with the Periscope link to actually watch. *cough*

  46. It’s almost time to smoke Laura’s lunch.

  47. L to R
    Beanseseses, Buffalone

    That was fun.


  48. Broken Periscope would be a good DotW.

  49. Rusty Periscope

  50. Brownfield remediation?

  51. Unremediated Periscope

  52. Hot Mess Periscope

  53. Fat Chick Periscope

  54. I just want to see wiser so I can make fun of his haircut.

  55. I wonder if he wore a special suit for the broadcast that no one saw.

  56. All in all, good show Radiobud, and thanks for the almost-drink, MJ!

  57. Wiserbud is just a shill for the KOCH BROTHERS ELEVENTY HATERS FASCIST RUNNING DOG!!!11!

    Don’t you wingnuts understand that #52 on the list of campaign donors is REALLY NUMBER ELEVENTY ONE?!?!?111!!

    And the SEIU only funds puppies. But not Sad Puppies. We hate those.

  58. Remember, if you oppose any regulation of any kind, you oppose all of them. Because hatethink.

  59. >>>>
    Remember, if you oppose any regulation of any kind, you oppose all of them. Because hatethink.

    But he’s not a Democrat….

    Probably because he thinks Democrats are too far to the right.

    Fucking tool calls up to challenge me, then gets upset when I call him out on his lies.

  60. HA HA Neighbor was working in his yard, he’s directly downwind today. He lasted 15 minutes.

  61. So the periscope test was a failure.

    We had one person connect.


  62. I tried the periscope thing, but the app kept telling me no one I was following was live, even though I figured out to follow @seswatr

  63. We’ll try it again next week

  64. I was watching/searching for WATR in onperiscope; no dice.

  65. Twitter account is @SESWATR

  66. I’m supposed to do the periscope thing every 5 years.

  67. There was never any tweet on @SESWATR for the Periscope linky and no sign that there was any periscope stream. You Guys should check into this new-fangled technology one of these days.

  68. Scott wins the internets.

  69. First you do the brownfield remediation.

  70. Maybe someone forgot to put coal in the Periscope furnace.

  71. Ben just didn’t want to share the link.

  72. I’ll bet there are a dozen live videos of kittens on Periscope right now.

  73. Dammit! We just missed the live stream of “Whore Cat has a new friend”.

  74. With the increasing cultural prominence of LGBTQWERTY otherkin in the world, now seems a perfect time for Rosetta to have his own Periscope channel.

  75. HA!


  76. I’d set up my own Periscope stream, but watching a coffin is pretty much like watching a still picture.

  77. Cankles is a horrible campaigner. She ought to be easy to beat.

    Ought to be. I just have a feeling that the cheating (which is always benefiting one side) will be unprecedented for the next election. There’s no way we know the extent of what is going on.

    She’s got something up her plus-sized sleeve.

  78. There’s no app for Androids yet (phuckers) so I’m relying on a link to tap-in thru that streaming site.

    I’d set up my own Periscope stream, but watching a coffin is pretty much like watching a still picture.

    That doesn’t seem to have stopped… well… anyone on the streams that I see out there.

  79. There is also a couple thousand new democrats entering the country every day.

  80. The graveyards are full of registered, active Democrats.


  82. What scott said. When the judge in TX is taken out, Boehner and McConnell will give Barry his amnesty for 15 million new democrats. You KNOW they are registering them to vote as they get processed.

  83. If we thought the Clintons were slimy back in the nineties. . .

    She’s entitled, she’s pissed, and she’s had to bite her tongue for the past 7 years.

  84. And the media are periscoping in on Rand Paul. He must be taken out because cankles. The lies and misrepresentations have begun.

    Watch most interviews be like the ones he did with the chicks who talked over him, interrupted him, and asked 45 second questions filled with six different points and accusations.

    And if he needs to get to another interview and walks away after allowing ‘one more’ — he’s too cantankerous and prickly to be president.


    TY for not sharing pix!

  86. Beasn – He needs to stop with the “remote” interviews.

  87. Hmm, which twitter list to put @seswatr in. Entertainment, Friends, or WTF.

  88. So, I followed a minivan home yesterday, dude had a bumper sticker on the back that read “I used to be cool” . I laughed. I cried. It touched me.

  89. But but but, the immigrants can’t vote, wingnuts! They are just here to improve their lives!

  90. New pilgrims.

  91. “The New Pilgrims” sounds like some programming on CNN that I would try to avoid.



  94. I’m allowed to smell like smoke. Just not cigarette smoke.

  95. Well silly faggots, today is almost over.


  96. I wanted a drink, but I have to go to evening mass.

  97. Also I’m fat, and I probably ought to skip drinks for a while.

  98. God wants you to be happy, leon. Why else would he have created delicious booze?

    *sips cocktail

  99. I got one of my pine stumps out of the ground. My new mattock is awesome, but I managed to give myself 3 blisters and burst 2 of them without realizing it.

  100. God wants me to experience authentic freedom, which means control over appetites of all kinds.

    Also I don’t want to be buzzed when I drive to church.

  101. The pic of Bruce Jenner on Drudge is horrendous. Are we really to believe that parody of female is just a lifestyle choice and not some form of mental illness?

  102. “Booze is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

    ~What Ben Franklin meant to write but was too shitfaced to get the job done right.

  103. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a small snake on our driveway. He was so cold he could barely move. I didn’t want him to get run over, so I picked him up and placed him in the bushes.

    I thought it was a worm snake, not much bigger than a pencil.

    I showed him to Laura. It’s not a worm snake, it’s a freaking copperhead. I just saw him again.

    He better be a good mouser.

  104. Scott, pro tip: Know your snakes before you pick them up.

  105. ~What Ben Franklin meant to write but was too shitfaced to get the job done right.


    I’ve always really liked Ben. He makes good sense.

  106. Fortunately, they are docile snakes and he was partially frozen.

  107. How do Chelsea and Hillary manage to look so lifeless and wooden in posed, touched up, and staged photos?

    It’s almost not possible, yet they manage it.

    I wonder if they’ve ever taken a dump? It seems as if they haven’t.

  108. Scott is lucky to be alive.

  109. He is so small that you can barely make out his pattern. He’s got the pit viper head, I should have recognized that.

  110. I didn’t think rattlesnakes got up that far north.

  111. You cuddled a copperhead?

    The balls on you.

  112. How many copperheads in a litter?
    His brothers and sisters can’t be far away.

  113. More than one

  114. We have timber rattlesnakes and copperheads.

    I’ve never seen a rattlesnake around here, but copperheads are common.

    I think timber rattlers go all the way up into New Hampshire and Maine.

  115. They love deadfalls, woodpiles, piles of dead leaves and your pillowcase

  116. I’ll take his picture tomorrow.

  117. When you hear a rattlesnake for the very first time, your body knows exactly what to do. I met one in New Mexico, he was an asshole.

  118. Mental note: never, ever, ever accept another invitation to dinner at the W’s

  119. Copperheads like water. Around here, if you see a snake in the water there’s a 90% chance it’s a copperhead.

  120. >>>>When you hear a rattlesnake for the very first time, your body knows exactly what to do.

    Does the smell of human urine act as a rattlesnake repellant?

  121. Smoked Copperhead.


  122. Tastes just like smoked chicken

  123. *smokes Tom Swifty. Eats Doritos with chili and ice cream. Watches Family Guy. Falls asleep.

  124. Copperhead litters are around 10, not bad. The bad news is that they are social snakes and den together in the winter, so there is likely more of them. I bet they are using Fat Bastard’s network of tunnels.

  125. Huh, I thought that a copperhead was a rattlesnake. Learn something new every day.

  126. Ok, I’m gonna watch Grand Budapest Hotel. It better not suck.

  127. Poor Jay…..

    So few hours of life left and he’s wasting them like that…….

  128. Btw, Sprout, awesome call today. Great job.

  129. Nope, they have decided it would be better to show me The Omen instead. stupid tv listings being wrong.

  130. Note to self: edit pic of Hillary into the end of this video and watch it go viral

  131. Fuck it, I’m leaving that there

  132. We have no cats or foxes to keep the small rodents in check, so we have an abundance of snake food.

    Stupid coyotes.

  133. When you hear a rattlesnake for the very first time, your body knows exactly what to do.

    What would that be?

  134. Small rodents loved last winter. They were covered by a huge freaking blanket and completely invisible to their prey. Parts of our yard are completely fucked up.

    I think our hydrangea is a goner.

  135. Your body freezes and gives your brain a chance to figure out what the noise is and where it’s coming from.

  136. I think I froze mid step.

    He was behind me, I had just walked over it.

  137. At the time we were about 10 miles from the car, and probably 100 miles from anything resembling a doctors office.

    It could have been a very bad day.

  138. Good day, wags of scally.

  139. These things really are aliens.

  140. I don’t know what was worse, the alien or the alien’s mom.

  141. I stepped over a rattler in the middle of the night, in the middle of the California desert. Scared the shit out of me.

  142. I think I froze mid step.

    Maybe carry a long walking stick.

  143. Thanks Uncle Wiser.

    But please stop lurking in the doorway when I sleep over. I’m not going to play special Twister with you.

  144. Hey, b-rad, what’s your opinion of Fisher House? I’m thinking of using them as the charity I support through Amazon Smile.

  145. I’m laughing my fat arse off.

    Beasnette is coming home because a friend is running a marathon and she wants to be there for support.

    So she’s in the car – with boyfriend – and I am having to tell her how to get home. o_O (in her defense, every time we had to bring her home, she fell asleep, so she never paid attention to roads…highways…..Yeah, not a good defense, but whatevs)

    Mr. Beasn shouts to remind her that she has a GPS in her glove box.

    He just came upstairs and starts faux crying, “I can’t drive a car without scratching it (he just got back from a business trip and scratched the rental)….my daughter doesn’t know how to get home…wahhhh. She’s stooopid.”

  146. Hey, b-rad, what’s your opinion of Fisher House?
    Fortunately, I’ve never had to avail myself of their services. But everything I’ve heard about Fisher House has been positive. Good cause, well run, good percentage to operations, etc.

  147. Listening to this at work right now. Amazing album.

  148. Thanks, man. I’ve always heard good things, too, but I thought you might have known some folks who had used their services.

  149. Can anyone riddle for me why it is so difficult to use words to explain how to do or use something new? Am I missing some sort of guy-code thing?

  150. I mean as opposed to Grab-and-Show.

    I’m mostly just venting here.

  151. Explain stuff hard. Me show.


  153. *sets everything on fire*

  154. I mean do that.

  155. Ha Ha

    *beats on chest and grunts*

  156. Guys don’t understand words, use fire or muriatic acid.

  157. Mmm, chicken and garlic sauce. Good chinese food in Ames, I’m telling ya!

  158. Cyn, I don’t know what specific thing you are talking about, but a lot of guy stuff (fixing broken stuff, DiY) is make-it-up-as-you-go, and we guys are not that good with words to begin with.

    So, take this doohickey, and insert the tab into the watchamacallit thingamabob from left. No no, the other left.

  159. Don’t fall for the “insert the doohickey” crap.

  160. MUST not embed picture!!!

    I think I’m safe…

  161. Comment at that dead blog:

    29. Tushar – April 11, 2015
    I came to US with $200, a few clothes, an education that was not relevant to possible job openings, a couple of years of computer programming skills that were fast becoming obsolete, a vague promise that I might get paid if I can pass an interview at some client’s place and do the tech work they assign. And some curry powder. I didn’t even have white privilege. Brown privilege ain’t worth shit.

    On the plus side, I had a belt. Which means my pants were not hanging around my knees. I was not addicted to drugs. I did not have the urge to wear bling, get into fights, sell drugs or loiter.

    I am doing alright.

    I think I like this guy……..

  162. He’s a definite keeper.

    Also, to answer your question Tushar, it was a new S & W .22 pistol.

  163. “insert the doohickey”

    Made me giggle more than it should have.

  164. GODDAMIT!!!!!

    Cat: “Gee, wiser, would you like to get a good night’s sleep?

    Wiser: “why yes, cat, I would!”

    Cat: ” *bzzzzzzzzt. Sorry, not gonna happen. Watch me as I limp over here and vomit…..”

    Wiser: “WISERBRIDE!!!!! YOUR CAT IS SICK!!!!”


  165. Forgot the last line…

    Wiserbride: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………

  166. Tomorrow is the big day. I will install laminate flooring in the guest room. The room is painted and ready. Just installed the underlayment.

    I have an agreement with my handiman that he will help correct any screwups I might make.

    If it is successful, I will move on to other rooms, and possibly remodel the staircases.

  167. Did anybody realize that anybody else never actually bothered to learn their name today?

  168. Poor kitty.


    Good luck, Tushar. And keep an eye on where you insert the doohicky.

  169. If it is successful, I will move on to other rooms, and possibly remodel the staircases

    Response A: AWESOME, DUDE!

    Response B: “if it is successful….” BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

  170. Wiser, Mac or Corona?

  171. >>>>>>Poor kitty.

    If I honestly thought you meant that…….

  172. Wiser, I am a cautious man. My Plan Bs have their own Plan Bs.

    I am like the proverbial man who had a glassful of water and an empty glass on his night stand. Why? Because he may feel thirsty, or he may not.

  173. Corona.

    He’s currently laying on…….


    You actually remember the names of my cats?

    Holy crap!!!!!!

    Dude………. you are gonna make the greatest US citizen EVAH!!!!!

  174. Put a mountain of screws in that sub flooring, Tushar.

  175. Wiser, I remembered Tequila and Corona, but knew that Tequila is the dog. I had to look up the name of the second cat. If someone tells me the name of their pet, chances are that I will remember. I like pets.

  176. >>>>I am like the proverbial man who had a glassful of water and an empty glass on his night stand. Why? Because he may feel thirsty, or he may not.

    I honestly have no snarky response here. This is honestly one of the coolest things i’ve ever read.

    You have just made Muslihoon’s musings obsolete

  177. Speaking of, where the hell did Musli disappear?

  178. George, that subfloor is in good shape. No squeaks.

  179. >>>I like pets.

    We’re babysitting Tequila’s girlfriend tonite.

    Meaning I get about this >< much of the bed tonite….

  180. >>>>>>>Speaking of, where the hell did Musli disappear?

    He got married. And, considering the fact that he was waaaaaaaaaaay smarter than the rest of us, he obviously disconnected his internet and lived happily ever after.

    Or so I hope.

  181. Tequila and Corona are good pet names. Pets pee a lot, and the drinks make you do the same.

  182. >>>>Tequila and Corona are good pet names.

    Tell that to my sponsor…..

  183. We have a couple of squeaks, because the previous owners obviously did an inferior job. One of the many reasons it’s christened Hate House.

  184. Does Tom Hill pee a lot? I wonder if he’s housebroken.

  185. >>>>>>Does Tom Hill pee a lot? I wonder if he’s housebroken.

    So…. Does anyone else have a topic?

  186. Carpeting doesn’t squeak but it also doesn’t feel nice and cool in the summertime.

  187. Carpeting squeaks if you roll up kittens in a remnant and step on it.

    Not that I’ve ever done that.

  188. Carpeting doesn’t squeak but it also doesn’t feel nice and cool in the summertime.

    All you need is a little triangular welcome mat.

  189. I see Musli on FB every few months.

  190. >>>>>Carpeting doesn’t squeak

    Then you are doing it wrong…..

  191. *thwacks George with a rolled up newspaper*


  192. >>>>>I see Musli on FB every few months.


  193. George, I have lived about 10 years in this townhouse. I plan to sell it and move on at some point. The trouble is, the house is unlikely to sell as is. Years of uncertainity about green card meant that I didn’t really invest to keep the house up-to-date, and I have some catching up to do. Some fixtures are 30 year old. My careful plan is to spend enough to make the house marketable.

    I have come to realize that I can update the look of a house at a reasonble amount to make it look very modern and a bit pricey. The key is research. A crapton of research. And some DiY skills.

  194. And?

    And what? He’s apparently still alive. That’s about all I know.

  195. Sounds like you’re doing the right thing, Tushar. Not that I know anything about this stuff, but after buying a house in 2013 and living with its peculiarities I see next time I’ll look for different issues when I buy my next and final one.

  196. Triangular welcome mats? Pffft.
    Little rectangular rugs are much more inviting.

  197. >>>>And what? He’s apparently still alive. That’s about all I know.

    Do you ever reach out to him? Ask him to touch base?

  198. *discovers the joy of being thwacked by Cyn*

  199. Welcome mats? I prefer a nice clean offering…

  200. The first thwacking is free.

  201. —-Welcome mats? I prefer a nice clean offering…

  202. I hope to buy a house here in Houston next year. I am saving for the down payment this year.

  203. Cyn’s doormat

  204. A little welcome mat seems inviting; no mat just tracks mud in the house.

    I don’t even know what that means.

  205. Where the hell is that whore Oso?

    I thought I’d give Mare a break.

  206. Mom!!! George is taking pictures of my welcome mat again!!

  207. A welcome mat by the back door is just unnerving.

  208. A welcome mat by the back door is just unnerving.

    Hence the phrase “tramp stamp.”

  209. Nailed it.

  210. No. I think Mo’on has put his moron past behind him. So I pretty much leave him alone. Seriously, he puts up a post on FB maybe every 6 months, that I can recall.

  211. Just got home from work. Crazy day. Cash Office associate collapsed when the Brinks rep was in the cash office. Apparent stroke. We hadn’t had any updates when I left. Scary stuff. Cash Office is behind two coded locked doors. Cash Office has no windows. She could’ve been down for hours if the Brinks guy wasn’t there.

  212. A welcome mat by the back door is just unnerving.


  213. Ooof. And here I was thinking about welcome mat sarcasm.

  214. Ass Antlers for the win!!!

  215. That’s awful news, Oso. Scary stuff indeed.

  216. A welcome mat by the back door is just unnerving.


    When the front door is framed with a handlebar mustache, the back door looks less intimidating.

  217. When the front door is framed with a handlebar mustache

    Aaannndddd that’s enough internets for one night.

  218. Heh heh.

  219. I did get a Corona coozie from the Corona Demo lady, so there’s that. Budweiser has some new malt beverages out. I think they’re called Mixx Tails. Pretty much Zima.

  220. Cold in ABQ?

  221. It’s not the ass antlers that are the problem.

    Back. Hair.

  222. Catching up on Justified, pretty damn good this season.

  223. When the front door is framed with a handlebar mustache, the back door looks less intimidating.

    Brown chicken brown cow

  224. I saw Ass Antlers open for Blood, Sweat and Tears in 1970.

  225. Hey, Oso. The Royals are now 5-0.

  226. Chilly nights, warm days. Our cool down puts us at normal temps for April. High 70s/low 80s wasn’t normal. 63 expected high tomorrow. Getting really tired of the wind.

  227. Brown chicken brown cow

    *golf clap

    Hadn’t heard that one.

  228. I don’t want to hear what “chilly” means.

  229. Reds and Rockies both lost today :(

  230. We’re in for heavy Santa Ana winds in a few days.

  231. Yeah, that’s the shame about the Reds.


  232. There’s chilly, which is cold, and chili, which is hot. And if it isn’t, it should be.

  233. Santa Ana winds are just proof that Mexico owns the southwest.

    /La Raza

  234. We’ve been having Bosque wildfires. 9 in the last few weeks. dry and windy. Chilly is 40s to me. It is the 40 degree fluctuations that freak out the divas.

  235. Your Reds had a good start to the season.

  236. *smells finger*

    This is just proof that I own your mom.

  237. Billy Hamilton is fun to watch. Votto hasn’t injured himself yet. Dan has asked me which Cards cap he should wear, hasn’t actually worn one.

  238. The Royals are still 5-0.

  239. When I lived in TX, I H8D the Royals. I kind of like the recent Royals. Kind of early to jinx them, CB.

  240. I’m so glad I fell asleep in the 15th Inning last night. I would’ve been pissed if I made it through 7 hours of baseball that resulted in a Boosux win.

  241. crazy game

  242. Marie Harf.

    Harem Fair.

    Just sayin.

  243. When you climb to the top of the mountain
    Look out over the sea
    Think about the places perhaps, where a young man could be
    Then you derp back down to the rooftops
    Look out over the town
    Think about all of the strange things circulating round

  244. I’ve decided to become rich. Are any of you rich? I need a mentor.

    Tushar, how’s the slumlord business treating you?

  245. I think I have a good shot if I get the new job. Company is private equity controlled now, going public next year.

  246. Nice. I’m brainstorming phone apps or books that I could write. Right now Ive got basically no exposure to White Swan events. Stock options for an IPO sound like a very nice form of that.

  247. Leon, I am not rich, but I think I will be comfortable at some point. Business is doing great. Acquired my fifth house recently. Already have a renter lined up. Had a few maintenance hiccups last year, but all good for now.

    Also, I love when democrats collide.

  248. Six Minute Ab Veins

  249. Tushar, the distinction that I just finally got was that what I really need is a business rather than a job. Most of my ideas thus far have been about different jobs I’d rather do.

    There’s nothing wrong with jobs, but ultimately you’re still selling time. What you have is a business, you’re selling a service, and that means that your time investment is largely a function of profit margin.

    Now, I can envision jobs I could start doing that could transition into a business, but that’s another distinction again.

  250. Six Minute Ab Veins

    I’d have to have them to sell them.

    *pushes finger into doughy midsection*

  251. Leon, I think my net worth is higher than most people with my income profile. It helps that my wiife works full time. Here are my rules:
    Even if both spouses are working, buy the house that you can afford on only one income.
    Don’t buy luxury vehicles. Toyotas and Hondas give best value for money.
    Buy new cars and use them until maintenance becomes too expensive. I had to let go of my Corolla aftr 12 years of use, because the Mrs. totalled it. It was still running great, and I could have easily used if for 4-5 more years.
    Don’t let money languish in checking/savings/money market accounts.
    Don’t put money in managed(high fees!) investment accounts and mutual (high fees!) funds.
    Unless you are a wizard, Index funds are better than individual stocks.
    Bonds are ok for older people, not you.
    Fund your 401k fully. The great think about 401k is: if you add money automatically from your paycheck, you are buying through highs and lows, so you don’t have to worry about ‘timimg the market’.
    Try to generate passive income. Buying houses and renting them out is a good way to do that.
    Don’t build a college fund. They are a scam. Make sure that you have enough liquid assets that can be disposed when the time comes for Junior to go to college.
    Don’t go crazy decorating and remodelling the house. Houses in my community are worth roughly $300k. One homeowner spent $150k remodelling his. Don’t be that guy.

    Save first, spent the rest. Not the other way around.

  252. Leon, I always knew that I would be happier doing a business than a job. But businesses are inherently riskier than jobs, and my cautious nature made me gravitate away from business.

  253. Oh, and buy life insurance. For both you are your wife. Hopefully all the money you spend on that gets utterly wasted.

  254. I’m already doing all of that but the passive income.

  255. I guess I’m already at “comfortable”. What I feel like I need now is “FU” money before I get so old, white, and male that I start to hurt company demographics and they decide to stagnate me until I quit.

  256. Also, technically right now I have exactly one customer, and that’s a fragile place to be. I have lots of potential customers, sure, but that’s not robust.

  257. A friend of mine recently quit his job, and stole a couple of his company’s customers. Not every job has customers waiting to be stolen.

  258. I cannot take my job’s customers in any meaningful way. Downside of the industry.

  259. Leon, there is no way you can construct your life that cannot be destroyed by a vengeful government controlled by some jealous SJW. They can take away your jobs, your business, your assets, everything. If my company stagnates me, and I am too old to find another lucrative job, I will find a way to run a business from office, while pretending to work. And if they fire me, I will sue for age discrimination.

  260. Find out where you stand:

    This one allows you to compare against a custom age bracket, but has slightly older data.

  261. What I feel like I need now is “FU” money before I get so old, white, and male that I start to hurt company demographics and they decide to stagnate me until I quit.

    Also, technically right now I have exactly one customer, and that’s a fragile place to be.

    I am Leon’s worst case scenario.

  262. If I’d recorded the audio clip of my program director’s quote, my lawyer could have fun with that.

    I have to produce or I’m out, unfortunately. “Looking busy” isn’t an option when no one can see you.

  263. *starts website dedicated to funny gifs/boobs*

  264. I’m never sure if I should include “if I liquidate my 401k” in net worth calcs.

  265. Buff, your idea is called The Chive. It’s very successful.

  266. Dangit.

  267. BTW, that Elle header pic is the greatest JPEG in the history of teh intertubes.

  268. This is hilarious is you have 2 mins to kill:

  269. Houses averaging $300K in your ‘hood? In LA $300K buys you a 900 sqft crack house in Carson or a one bedroom rundown condo in North Hollywood, and you don’t want to live in either place. Klownifornia blows weasel nuts.

  270. GO, that’s what you call a “bubble”.

  271. ‘Tis a permabubble in LA. The prices were even higher before the Obamacrash.

  272. $300k out here gets you a 3bdr/3bath on the north side of town, a massive plot of land out east, or about an acre up in the mountains.

  273. Interesting. Why haven’t the Muzzie Mafia attacked the Fag Mafia here? Do white Hollywood lesbians trump oppressed Muslim dreamers? Hmm.

  274. Real estate has been historically expensive here. It’s what kept me out of the market so long to my regret insofar as I’ll never pay off Hate House before we retire. However given the hoards of cash that keep coming into this neighborhood, especially lately cash from the Pacific Rim (Koreans, Chinese, etc.) we expect to pull out with a capital gain. Had we not made such a huge down payment we couldn’t be as well situated. When we get out it will be far out of hateful Klownifornia.

  275. George, where would you move to?

  276. Possibly Oso’s state. Relatives. And it’s way cheaper than Gov. Moonbeam’s panopticon.

  277. Ha! The header title is still: Hi Brew!

  278. 5 years ago $300k would’ve gotten you 3000+ square feet with relatively new construction features. 5 years of oil tinkering with $100 per bbl kinda fucked that up. It’ll still get you 2000 sf though.

  279. I love The Lego Movie. I could watch it every day.

  280. Another Steller’s jay just landed in front of me. Very excited to see new birds.

  281. I just figured out what was wrong with the pellet stove.

    In April.

  282. What’s wrong with the pellet stove, Scott?

  283. Ositta is Wyldstyle.

    Who gave Chelsea a makeover? She looks better. Good job. Not great, but an improvement.

  284. My blower was dirty.

  285. Leon, I have come up with a crude formula to figure out if you are on the right track.
    Lets say your net worth at the beginning of year was $100k, and at the end of the year it was $120k. This means your net worth increased by $20k. Out of this, some part was because of your active savings, and some was because of asset appreciation plus passive income*. When the second component exceeds the first, you can start to get comfortable about the future. It is a given that this must happen not because you refused to save, but because your assets are generating more returns than your (substantial) savings. I would count employer contribution to 401k in the first component.

    I am not there yet, but will get there eventually.

    *your passive income should go completely to savings, especially if you are young. If you are depending on passive income to meet your expenses, you are not doing it right.

  286. Look at this handsome devil who strayed in front of my camera. Don’t often see these here.

  287. >>My blower was dirty.

    How much did you spend on that dirty, dirty blower? $20?
    That is the going rate at truck stops in the north east.

  288. Your mom likes a dirty blow.

  289. George, my $300 hood is not the correct reflection of property prices in NJ. Most of my friends have houses in the $600-700K range. I prefer not to invest my money in granite countertops, large lawns and dedicated home theater rooms.

  290. Who gave Chelsea a makeover? She looks better. Good job. Not great, but an improvement.

    Iowahawk had the best tweet on that. He said that photo was the Hoover Dam of airbrushing projects.

  291. George, spotted this in our yard two summers ago.

    It’s the only one I have ever seen.

  292. In LA, you have to spend upwards of $700K just to get out of crappy, crime-ridden neighborhoods. And you still can’t live less than an hour from the Westside or downtown. In chic dumps like Santa Monica, you see cracker boxes selling for $850K… Yes, you’re in hip and cool Santa Monica. And you have maybe 1000sqft of an old cottage built in 1946. And you can reach out the kitchen window to touch he side of the house next door. Maybe one car garage. Plus… You can step outside and see a bum with his pants open fiddling with his Johnson. Not to pee in the curb (which he might do) but just because.

    I actually saw that recently in front of an office building not one block from a complex that charges $28 for 8 hours parking.

    Stay out of LA. Out.

  293. Mr Chumpo, Cyn is Princess Unikitty. Roamy is Retro Astronaut.

  294. Wow, Scott. Gorgeous. Indigo Bunting. Summer occupant on east coast.

  295. Lets say your net worth at the beginning of year was $100k, and at the end of the year it was $120k. This means your net worth increased by $20k.


    *writes this shit down

  296. I overheard a convo evenly between two early thirty somethings in an ad agency in Marina del Rey. The one guy was saying how his wife has a second kid on the way, and would like to find an apartment nearby

  297. Yep, and MJ is Emmet, and PD is Batman, Hotspurn is Good/bad cop, Wiser is Lord Bizwack, Scott is Metalbeard, GO is Green Lantern,

  298. Oops, momentito

    Stupid iOS 8

  299. Not a very stealthy bird, but you never see them.

    I don’t understand it.

  300. I overheard a convo recently between two early thirty somethings in an ad agency in Marina del Rey. The one guy was saying how his wife has a second kid on the way, and would like to find a two bedroom apartment nearby for under $3000 per month. The other guy said how happy he was with his 1 bedroom apartment near the water that was only $2000 per.

    Neither guy seemed to find anything obscene in this.

  301. I’m not so much Green Lantern as Ant-Man.

  302. Anybody have a recommendation of what flavor of Linux to install on a spare laptop, to experiment with?

  303. I like bourbon flavor, but that’s just me.

  304. Comment by Mr, Chumpo on April 12, 2015 1:05 pm
    Yep, and MJ is Emmet, and PD is Batman, Hotspurn is Good/bad cop, Wiser is Lord Bizwack, Scott is Metalbeard, GO is Green Lantern,

    What in the cornbread fuck are you talking about?

  305. i saw Cornbread Fuck open for Slipknot in 2002.

  306. Ubuntu was pretty easy to install in Virtualbox on my Apple Fagbook Pro.

  307. The Lego Movie. I guess I’m not the only one that thinks of it as an H2 movie.

  308. House made of shipping containers in Dallas.

    Maybe, shipping containers and “money”…

  309. When I was younger I used to look at those mortgage calculators that showed you that you needed to max out your borrowing at the point that your housing costs would be no more than 28% of your gross income. That’s all fine and dandy as long as you don’t want furniture, vehicles, vacation travel, clothing or any of that other kind of shit. My monthly payments have rarely even been over 10% of my net, much less 28% of my gross.

  310. From what I can tell, no one at H2 bothers much with clothing, or at least pants.

  311. I hear good things about Linux XP, Jay.

  312. Darn! Darn! Darney! Darn!


  314. I tried to Umbuntu on an old desktop…hahahahahahaah

    I did, and I flailed.

    Zip it.

  315. Let’s say you’re in Los Angeles and you pull down a gross of $10K per month. If you only spend $1000 per month on housing, I can tell you this about where you will live. You’ll probably need to sleep with a loaded pistol under your pillow. If you have a family, you ought to be thanking the taxpayers for funding your Section 8 housing. Have fun raising your kids around criminals and sociopaths.

    Stay out of LA. Out.

  316. It was cool back in the early days of iPods when you could shoehorn Linux into the model with the clickwheel and the B&W screen.

  317. Jay – what are your RAM and CPU speeds? Also, is there a dedicated graphics card?

    With this, The Googleman can thow you a couple of recommendations.

  318. George, I’ve been to LA once. ONCE!!! Twice if you count spending a three hour layover in LAX on the way home from Honolulu. But I don’t count that. My experience in LA was driving up I5 from Disney in Anaheim to Universal Studios on the north side of LA. The thing that stuck out to me was the neglected infrastructure. The traffic signs on a major freeway in the USA were barely legible. They were so faded you could barely read the exit info until you were pretty damned close. In TX those would’ve been refurbished or replaced many moons ago. The guardrails were beat to a pulp. It looked like every time someone ran into one they just sent out a crew with rubber hammers and beat them back into shape. Kinda sorta into shape. In Texas those would’ve been replaced quickly thereafter. And then all the tagging on the bridges, signs, and nearby buildings that was just left there……..broken window theory on a massive scale. I found it to be depressing. Maybe I didn’t see the nice parts. You can get kinda depressed driving in South Dallas too.

  319. Then I had a 1st gen iPod Nano where I jail broke it with a hack called Rockbox. I could actually play movies on that tiny color screen with it.

  320. It’s an old Dell laptop, runs windows 7 right now, no dedicated graphics card. Intel 2.2 ghz core 2 duo, 4 gigs RAM.

  321. I have lived in this house for 28 years and just walked to the liquor store for the very first time.

    It’s a 9 minute walk.

    I should be fat.

  322. I just borrowed the lego movie from the internet for this afternoon’s entertainment.

  323. BTW, that Chelsea pic in the header was the work of the wonderful S.Weasel.

  324. Pendejo, there are nice parts, but they fall into two broad categories. The first is where most everything locally is nice and prosperous like La Cañada or Palos Verdes or fairytale Bel-Air, but you have to be a lawyer or gubmint bureaucrat or Hollywood leech or trustafarian to get in there.

    Then there are places like Venice, where your street might be full of $1.5 mil houses, but the next block over is full of sixties dingbat apartments full of illegals or perhaps four employed twenty somethings per two bedroom unit, and there is no place to park. Now, the Hollywood director can afford to raze the shitty house off his 4000 sqft lot and put in a three story architectural showpiece with private underground garage. But next door is a moldering house with renters.

  325. I should be fat.

    You can thank hotspur’s mom.

  326. With a dedicated graphics card, Elementary OS released yesterday. It’s very stable; the desktop is based on Gnome, looks good and is easy to use.

    If you wanted to try something with a rolling release, Antegros or Manjaro. These are based on Arch and have their own installers; Manjaro has a more stable respository.

    Ubuntu MATE is new and getting a lot of positive reviews. It’s light, fast; it’s pre-config’d with a lot of useful tweaks.

    With your current set up, Googleman says that all of these will work. Stay away from Gnome or KDE plasma, unless you think that your machine can handle it. He notes that Gnome was forked and made lighter for Elementary.

    He adds, if you have Broadcom Wireless, best of luck as you’ll need it.

    I have no idea what this means.

  327. One absolute requirement when we shopped for Hate House was to stay far away from any apartments or multi unit dwellings. The nearest are a mile away.

  328. Bottom line, Elementary would probably be the most buttery for your laptop.

  329. Thanks Googleman. Except for the Broadcom part. I didn’t need to hear that.

  330. Yesterday I saw had a refurb Dell i5 Intel laptop for $249.

  331. Your mom is buttery.

  332. Your mom is buttery.

    *searches Netflix for Last Tango In Paris*

  333. He just had to explain the Broadcom part to me. Hell, I had no idea at all what I just typed.

    *orders Hurrycane, sherry, and crochet kit*

  334. Old but cool

  335. Our last computer was under $100 delivered to our door.

    That was 3 years ago and it is still working.

    I’m happy with New Egg.

    Thanks Cyn.

  336. One question for Googleman. 64 or 32 bit?

  337. The regional reminder accelerates the interesting cigarette.

    A flag reminds the integrated vintage outside a hypothesis.

    Why won’t a punishing technology taste the coming member?

    Past this break fudges a master cheer.

  338. Fucking laminate flooring. The aluminium oxide coating is so hard, my general purpose table saw blade gave up after cutting 4-5 pieces. I knew this, and purchased a special laminate cutting blade. I was just too lazy to switch. Lesson learned.

  339. G’man: It depends on your processor, but 32 bit is always safe.

  340. *awards Pendejo the Absurdist Blank Verse Poetry Award*

  341. Tushar, ever listen to Ace on the House? Adam Carolla’s DIY podcast. Hilarious.

  342. Damn!!! It thought I was speaking technolingo with the cool kids.

  343. Going with 64 bit Elementary, released yesterday. Buy Googleman a coke for me. I’ll owe ya.

  344. Remember the days when people said no computer would ever need more then 640K RAM?
    Good times.

  345. Newegg has worked well for us too, Scott. Even Amazon, which is where I got my current refurb, has been great and often beats Newegg on pricing.

  346. Glad I already have a table saw, Tushar. I was thinking of getting a chop saw to help out when I do the living room floor.

  347. I thought PG might have been posting a machine translation from the manual for a Chinese VCR.

  348. He says, “good choice”. Also, Google Plus has been taken over by Linux (since it never really gained popularity) and there’s an Elementary Community page if you need it. Mountain Dew is his poison.


  349. I sure feel better now with our alarm system installed. Totally wireless with no holes or drilling. I can even manage it from a cell phone.

  350. Reft Reg: Bloke

  351. I prefer Brawndo. It has electrolytes!

  352. *hacks GO’s phone, turns on the light in his coffin

  353. Reft Reg: Bloke

    Heh, that’s exactly what I was thinking.

    Hmm, same thought as PG? Uh oh…

  354. GAH! Who turned on the CFL? The glow from the phosphorescent coffin worms was bright enough.

  355. Is there anything really cool on Linux not widely available on other platforms?

  356. Yeah, your mom.

  357. A pair of crows are harassing a Cooper’s hawk over my house now.

  358. Your mom is open source.

  359. Heh, connected to wireless, no problem.

  360. Man, did Instapundit get this right. Fucking stupid Californians.

    IF YOU OVERPUMP AQUIFERS, you permanently damage their storage capacity. If California had a bunch of nice, clean nuclear plants, they could be desalinating.

  361. I’ve got 7 pizza places within 1 mile of my house.

  362. Grr. Stoopid Cards. Should I give up on baseball and start watching The Masters?

  363. President Whiny Toddler.

    President Obama said Saturday that partisan wrangling over the nuclear agreement with Iran has gone beyond the pale and said the harsh criticism of the deal “needs to stop.”

    But he’s not at all like a dictator.

  364. TFG badmouthed America in Panama. Fucking tool.

  365. It’s small but is it a waste of money? I’m tempted to try this. J’ames?

  366. I recommend watching this.

  367. Is this scrunt living on another plane of space-time?

    MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry stated “I worry about American tourists and the ways that we can sometimes be a plague” in a discussion on the US opening up its relations with Cuba on Saturday.

    “On the one hand, it is great, to reopen these relationships. On the other hand, I worry about American tourists and the ways that we can sometimes be a plague on the rest of the world, particularly in these nations that become high-tourist economies, and I’m wondering if there is a downside to our economic ties opening up with Cuba for Cuba” she said.

    She’s a plague on the electromagnetic spectrum.

  368. Meh, I just use my pizza stone.

  369. Thing is, I can’t get my oven up to +600°F.

  370. don’t need it that high. We are at 525-550 at work.

  371. I blame Tushar.

    India’s prime minister says people will have to change their lifestyles and develop a harmony with nature if the world is to avoid dangerous levels of climate change.

    In a speech at UNESCO headquarters in Paris, Narendra Modi said different paths to “economic wellbeing” should be explored by world leaders.

    He recommended yoga as one way of fighting climate change, as it offered people a sense of “harmony with self, society and nature” and could create a “social consciousness”.

  372. Okay, I thought the optimum temp was around 800°, actually.

  373. Jay, my stupid blade did more than go dull. It wandered a bit, chewed partway through a plastic blade guard on the underside, gnawed a bit on the throat plate, and whacked the rip fence out of alignment. The rip fence on my cheapo Ryobi is not meant to be adjustable, which means it is junked. I will have to build a custom rip fence or a sled now. I knew I will have to do this one day. Did not think it will be forced on me.

    If you are thinking of a chop saw, go for a 10″ sliding compound miter saw. They can cut bigger stock than a 12″ non sliding one.
    My research shows that in the roughly $200 home enthusiast market, Lowes Kobalt 10″ is the best. Ryobi is second. Craftsman brings the distant, junky third place. Don’t even think about Harbor Freight and no-brand Chinese junk.

    I will be buying mine this week.

  374. Reading this thread makes me want to simultaneously; eat pizza, bang your mom, punch bill gates in the face and go bird watching, because that bird was indeed handsome.

  375. It is optimum, especially for Napoli style pizza. That said, a pizza stone works very well. It’s all in the dough. I have been pizza making at home for three years and still am working on the recipe.

  376. Hillary: Hey, I’m running for President!!

    The world except for assholes: Who gives a shit!!

  377. Harbor Freight: the home of use-it-once-and-toss-it-out tools.

  378. I wonder if Podesta sent that e-mail from a private server now at the bottom of the Potomac.

  379. George, India’s Prime Minister Mr. Modi is not a dummy. He is hell bent on modernizing India and making it prosperous. I am sure he has enough good counsel to know that Global Warming is a political bogeyman. But that won’t stop him from taking the global warming rope and tighten the noose around Western countries. The Chinese have figured out how to swindle billions out of West in exchange for vague, unverifiable climate goals. Modi will do the same. West created the game. Modi is just a player.

  380. Ok, here’s your “Chopsaw”.

    Even when there is a chop available I still default to this method because it is the squarest cut.

    I don’t know what happened to your rip guide, Tushar. That sounds like a major F up.

  381. I love what John says about the Crusades:

  382. Gaia help us when the Republican candidate in 2016 decides to inevitably kneel at the feet of Globally Warm Hysteria.

  383. Mr Chumpo, it is most likely my own fault. I tried to cut a thin crosscut of a long and wide piece of laminate flooring. In an effort to cut straight, I might have pushed the piece against the blade. Lessons learnt. No injuries.

  384. Chumpo, your chopsaw is great. Pl teach me how to cut crown molding and doorframe molding with it.

  385. In the movie, The Kingsman, Colin Firth’s character is my idea of how the 2016 GOPe candidate should act towards Earther BS. Makes the ending that much funnier.

  386. There is this thing called a miter box. It is NOT as cool as a chop saw; however, it works jes as well. (if not better because you use a hand saw with a very thin kerf.)

    Have fun.

  387. Yep.

  388. My small visitor always picks up each peanut to select the best available.

  389. This midori web browser is infuriating. Keeps messing up, won’t let me change sizes easily, and it’s crashing on the Chrome download page.

  390. That wasn’t a fun job. I think this house was built by eye, nothing is square.

  391. I already have a miter box, 2 of them in fact. They aren’t as much fun as a chop saw.

    I was just gonna get a smaller one. If I have to cut something bigger, I’ll use the table saw, or the circular saw with the straightedge jig that I made to break down plywood sheets.

  392. Imma go fly a kite.


  393. He’s beautiful, George.

  394. There seems to be a theme to her bendyness.

  395. I like the looks of Elementary. It will take some getting used to.

  396. Plus it keeps restarting on it’s own. that’s unacceptable.

  397. Knock Knock

    >>Who’s there?

    Impatient dachshund


  398. hahahahah…..That dog needs his ass kicked…by that cat.

  399. Hahaha I’ve never known a patient dachshund!

  400. Jay – G’man says the first thing he does is get rid of Midori, sometimes going to a command line browser.

    Also, he’s never seen Elementary restart on it’s own and agrees its bullshit (my word choice, but wholly accurate)…

  401. Firefox seems to work ok. Chrome refuses to install, and is causing some of the restarts.

  402. He’s stumped; chrome runs well on his machine. Thinking maybe that the download may have been incomplete?? Maybe try downloading lipappindicator1 from

  403. or rather :libappindicator1:

  404. This is hella moar fun to talk about than gardening and workout stuff!

  405. For Chrome fixy, need to install, in this order:
    and then…

  406. It’s like watching soccer. I have no idea what I’m watching, but my beer is cold.

  407. Oh, and fucking bases loaded in extra innings and Bobblehead Boy couldn’t do diddly. J’AMES!!!!!! (Does the Mare, but says J’AMES instead)


  409. Reds need to be more patient. If they take a pitch against Rosenthal, they win in the 9th.

  410. Still getting used to this package thing.

    Let the games begin…

  411. That was fuggin’ hi-larious, Scott!

  412. LOLOLOL That was pretty awesome, Scott.

  413. Rosenthal played on a LL team coached by a RL friend.

  414. Center, Scottw

  415. Center, Scottw


    Might have wet my pants.

  416. Scott’s youtube wins the inter webs.

  417. I nearly died.

  418. New poat I think


    You’ll regret giving me the keys….

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS