Almost Perfect

A little hard to make out, but there are scantily clad cheerleaders in this photo! Can you be the first one to tell me how many and for what team?

If you weren’t quite ready to start your Sunday chores, here:


  1. I’m loaded in the chopper and headed for take-off.

  2. Mare is quite the stylist.

  3. I’m pretty sure this was in Jefferson’s 3rd ed.

  4. Your mare linky no worky.

  5. Well, that’s weird. Now it does.

  6. I slipped in there a did a fixy when I noticed that myself.

  7. Beer last night. Coffee this morning. Sleep in between. What am I missing?

  8. “Morning reprobates. Missing football? I understand,

    I’m looking forward to getting a new phone today as I smashed the screen on may old one.

  9. anyone here have an Android or HRC?

  10. I mean HTC

  11. What a coincidence…

    My neighbor and I watched the final quarter of Super Bowl XLII last night.

    And the Giants beat the Patriots again, just like I predicted they would.

  12. Chumpo – I have a Samsung Galaxy Note 4 and love it. The Googleman has mentioned great things about the HTC; he reads up on all these new gadgets and I take him at his word.

  13. My chopper has landed at Chateau de Mesa. Workie work time.

  14. Thank ye, all. Have a great Sunday.

  15. Cool. Just had a big formation of SNJ/T-6 Texans fly by on their way to Indian Wells Tennis garden.

  16. Comment by pendejogrande on March 22, 2015 12:43 pm
    Beer last night. Coffee this morning. Sleep in between. What am I missing?


    I think it’s obvious. Sexual relations.

  17. Finally! I have been advocating this tactic forever, and not just for EPA.

  18. Tushar, where the hell have you been, my brown brother?

  19. Still have the hangover from the letter we got from the University of Illinois yesterday.

    Eldest phatspawn just got a tuition waiver for all four years. It was the ‘Children of Veteran’s Tuition Waiver’. They give out 6 a year.

    To say that it’s a great time around the casa is an understatement.

  20. XBrad, I have been working like a dog. 80-90 hours a week for past 3 months. Worked 22 hours straight on Thursday. Hopefully winding down a bit now.

  21. Congrats, Phat. The pirate did good!

  22. Goodness, Phat, that fantastic.

  23. Comment by mare on March 22, 2015 3:22 pm
    Comment by pendejogrande on March 22, 2015 12:43 pm
    Beer last night. Coffee this morning. Sleep in between. What am I missing?
    I think it’s obvious. Sexual relations.

    You’ll recall that I’m married.

  24. Congratulations on having a pretty good tax write-off fucked up, Phat.

    My youngest daughter got a $6250 per semester scholarship for 8 semesters from a foundation funded by a local rancher. The only downside was not getting to count most of her college expenses on my taxes.

  25. Excellent news, Phat!

    Does she have a major in mind?

  26. Congrats to Phatspawn!

  27. Pendejo,
    I was talking to my wife literally 10 seconds ago about this concept.
    If you get a $10k benefit, and if that means foregoing a $2-$3k tax write off, you are still coming out ahead. Cry if you want, but cry on the way to the bank.

  28. I’m not bitching Tushar. Kinda trying to make a joke by poor-mouthing a windfall.

  29. Xbrad,

    She wants to major in Poly Sci with a minor in Spanish.

    This may lead to a MBA or Law School, but right now she wants to work for the State Dept.


    Evidently, my opinion carries very little weight.

    She’s a great kid with an amazing amount of common sense for her age. I’ve always tended to cut her a lot of slack and she has never disappointed.

  30. That’s great Phat, congrats to de spawn.

  31. That is fantastic, Phat! Woo Hoo to Phatspawngirl! !

  32. Where’s the butter?

  33. ^^worst photo shoot ever^^

  34. Lobster Underwear Camp

  35. Crustacean Camp

  36. Still have the hangover from the letter we got from the University of Illinois yesterday.

    You’re not supposed to drink all of her tuition money away in one go. You’re supposed to spend some of it on a motorcycle and a trip to Vegas.

  37. Oh, and congrats to Phatspawn.

  38. CoAlex,

    We may go car shopping this summer!

    Told the wife we can move to FL and I can buy an airplane to ferry snowbirds back and forth from the midwest.

    Could be an awesome retirement job/second career.

  39. Congrats to Phatspawn.

  40. Greetings, finishing school dropouts.

  41. It’s not dropping out if you are physically escorted off the premises.

  42. To be fair, you were never actually enrolled, either.

  43. Comment by Colorado Alex on March 22, 2015 6:57 pm
    It’s not dropping out if you are physically escorted off the premises.



  44. Cover your mouth when you laugh, mare. You look like a peasant.

  45. This may lead to a MBA or Law School, but right now she wants to work for the State Dept.
    *****apparently she’ll be joining a sorority? That appears to be the current pre-req.

  46. Pretentious pap like this is why I have “a pox upon both your houses” attitude towards the current SJW / Geekdom feud.

    The man comes across as an arrogant idiot.

    Runners wear shorts, wrestlers and boxers wear shorts. When Bruce Lee gets into a fight he takes his shirt off, he doesn’t put a football uniform on. Is Batman designed to take a blow or land one? Is he playing defense or offense? The Batman who existed for decades was prepared to do battle with criminals, but he came ready to fight, not cower. When villains attacked, he landed the first blow and because he was Batman, that was frequently the last blow as well. But that was before he had “realistic” armor to slow him down!

    Runners and wrestlers and boxers generally aren’t going up against people who want to kill them and have access to weapons. And in fact the history of wrestling is often tied to the history of armored combat, since trying to strike a guy in armor is a good way to break your hand.

    The audience is not wiser than the creative people. If they were better writers and artists than those in the field, they would be employed in the field. They’re mouthy amateurs and their suggestions should largely be treated like the witless ramblings of an insane person.

    Ah yes, behold the genius of the artist. How dare you slackjawed yokels criticize his holy work! You’re obviously too stupid to understand! Seriously, the best artists, especially writers, benefit from having editors who cut down on the stupid shit.

    Comics were designed to appeal to teenage boys. Thus they are the way that they are. The women are all busty and wear tight and impractical clothing. The men all look like they’ve spent every waking moment in the gym and haven’t seen a carbohydrate in years, let alone tasted one. And the villains always have brilliant schemes and high tech wonder weapons, but can’t figure out how to send their henchmen to the fucking range on a regular basis to get the fundamentals down. But if you want to appeal to a broader audience, meaning women and adult men, you have to deal with the fact that that audience isn’t stupid and is going to notice the flaws. Someone who has served as a soldier or cop will probably criticize the lack of protective gear when fighting bad guys with guns. A woman with a large rack will probably point out the silliness of stuffing a set of 36 DDs in a bathing suit and expecting them to not get in the way.

  47. CoAlex, I am beyond weary of the SJW crap.

  48. I love The Incredibles. No capes and monologuing.

  49. So many comics are not the cape and tights genre. Off the top of my head: Walking Dead, Fables, Y: The Last Man, Sponge Bob, Futurama, Sandman and the list goes on. Part of the enjoyment of reading the cape and tight variety is seeing how new artists/writers/colorists/inkers/letterers reinterpret a classic character. Sometimes it’s great and other times it’s a failure.

  50. I actually liked a lot of what he said, Colex. This was especially refreshing:

    I don’t need to do a thing. I’m in charge here. Readers can buy what I’m selling or not. Ideally that’s what it should be. A candy bar company makes a candy bar and you can buy it or not. Those are your two choices. The internet assumes there are two other options: that candy bars can be pulled off the shelves and returned to their manufacturers unsold or that those buying candy bars can stipulate the ingredients. You want to make a different comic book? Make one of your own. You can buy the one I produce or you can not buy it, but you can’t dictate what goes on inside those pages. One guy makes that call.

    Of course, that’s a little less satisfying than “RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!”, but that used to be the way people dealt with a product they didn’t want or a company to which they didn’t feel like giving their business.

  51. The ongoing kerfluffle is making me basically hate anything that has fans.

  52. Jimbro, I get tired of the pandering to the SJW crowd. I get what Sean and the author are saying. Let the market decide. There are so many authors that I have given up on, because I have started to H8 their artistic choices.

  53. I saw The Ongoing Kerfuffle open for World Party back in ’93.

  54. I’m still in a wait and see about the Fantastic Four reboot.

  55. I can barely bring myself to watch Flash anymore, and Arrow is too silly for me to watch even for the eye candy.

    Also because I feel like I’m being judged for watching for the eye candy.

  56. Sean, the problem with his statement is that it’s cliched and also at odds with the rest of his views. The comic books publishers are responding to the market: they’re changing their characters to fit what they perceive the market wants. If he came out and said, “Listen, our core demographic is teenage boys who want to see hypermasculine men and sexed up women and yes we’re gonna cater to that.” then I’d defend him all day. Instead, elsewhere he’s trotting out the “purity of art” argument, as if drawing comics is some divine profession and we should all be so lucky that they sully themselves by making their stories available to the masses.

  57. I liked Jonathan Hickman’s run on Fantastic Four. Still looking for one of these:

    Pretty sure it’ll cost an arm and a leg.

  58. I still watch Arrow, although I roll my eyes at the fight scenes. It was nice that they didn’t turn Laurel and Thea into NINJA WARRIORS! overnight. Laurel gets her ass kicked a couple of times, although still too little for my taste,

    I can’t watch Flash because the whole secret prison run by the three of them is stupid.

  59. I think this is also a factor in comics shrinking market share:

    I’m all for artists being paid but at some point the only people buying comics will be over 60.

  60. Yeah, the “we house these people in cells that lack bathrooms, beds, or a cafeteria” is ludicrous. I demand more from my fiction.

    And by more I mean that if they didn’t have Danielle Panabaker I’d already be gone.

  61. I always had a crush on Reed Richards as a kid. Dan had the greying temples when I met him. Not sure if it really qualifies as Daddy Issues since my dad had hair and it wasn’t grey. I always had problems with chick heroes. I think that is why I love Hit Girl so much. The supremacy of the absurd.

  62. I just saw him making a consistent argument in favor of strong design. And he said that part of the problem with what the publishers do in “responding to the market” is that they don’t have a good idea of what the consumers want. He points out later that they’ll never be able to satisfy everyone, and in their efforts to do so, they end up pissing off nearly everyone.

  63. If I go another week without the urge to catch up on episodes, I’m going to assume I’m done with it and maybe cancel Hulu+ altogether.

  64. Sean…THAT!!! I am so sick of having SJ crap pushed on me! Even my gay comic book nerds are fed up with constant parallel universe crap.

  65. >>>>I think this is also a factor in comics shrinking market share:

    Yep. That right there is what killed comics. They went from cheap escapism for kids to “collectable art that must be taken seriously.”

    Death knell.

    I used to collect comics myself, but only because I enjoyed the stories. Once they started being called “graphic novels” and cost $2 n issue, I was out.

  66. I became a library comic book/graphic novel nerd. One thing I miss about Target, is no longer working with people that “Buy” graphic novels.

  67. Most of the comics I actually read are digital and I shop the sales on comixology for them. Most of what I buy in print is collectibles.

  68. I’m going to leave this right here:

    *not a broken candy bar*

  69. Most of my gheys have moved over to anime. I’m in constant battle with my DC RL friend.

  70. a) I don’t recognize at least 90% of those characters

    b) wait…. Elektra is LGBT??? Okay, whoever did that should die.

  71. I pretty much quit comics when Calvin and Hobbes retired. Nowadays I read an actual newspaper about twice a month. If I stumble across the comic page, cool, if not I didn’t miss much.

  72. Pretty sure it’ll cost an arm and a leg.


    I think “Alex” has been featured on a Monday around these parts.

  74. Some of the characters on the list were from Tarot, an honest-to-Horned-God Wicca propaganda comic.

    Ironically named after a Catholic-invented deck of cards.

  75. It’s also, like, really not a comic as much as it is a porn mag with spells in it.

  76. The latest Spiderman was my WTF I’m out moment.


    No…not BLARNEY COCK!

  78. Heh. Seen on FB written by a non-Moron.

    I’m just tired of how the accidentally empowered journalistic classes, most often with a vox-level of historical or contextual incompetence…

  79. Seriously, they made a gay character called “Attractive Lad”? WTF lol.

  80. No way. Must be a lurker.

  81. This is the only anime I recall reading in the last 10 years:

    I’m pretty sure I read one about a samurai along the way….

  82. I get tired of all the nihilistic no redeeming qualities comments about The Punisher. In other news, I can’t wear my super cool Punisher tee because of where the eyes end up.

  83. If you read it, it was manga, plebeian.

  84. I think any media form that includes references to Wicca becomes propaganda for Wicca.

  85. Frank Castle is bug-eyed shocked at how cold it is.

  86. From the description of Blarney Cock:

    “He had a pet hamster called Herbie who lived in his anus”

    I’m dying here

  87. I think any media form that includes references to Wicca becomes propaganda for Wicca.

    It would be awesome if that happened with a Jack Chick tract on the subject.

  88. Anime, anima, manga, mango…forgive me, I flunked out of Japanese 101 and had to take a Romance language instead.

  89. Usually it’s more subtle than this, Alex. Tarot has suggested spells between comic panels as well as devotions to the Goddess and Fae and so forth. Jim Balent (the artist, same guy mentioned as drawing women slutty in the article you linked) has said in his column in the comic that he’s drawing sexy women to get people to read about Wicca. IIRC, this was his response to female readers complaining that it was porn.

  90. I know Cyn talks about cool kids, but I’m totes Ogre-ing “Nerds”

  91. It would be awesome if that happened with a Jack Chick tract on the subject.

    I ate my Death Cookie this morning, and played D&D this afternoon so his tracts don’t always have his desired outcome. I never read his Wicca one, assuming there is one.

  92. I hate to be all judgmental and shit, but how about some prime growing conditions for okra and beets talk?

  93. Best way to grow okra is to take all of it you can find, chop it fine, dry it, and then set that nasty shit on fire.

    Beets I don’t know.

  94. I like beets. Dan pickles beets. Full circle.

  95. I like okra. Pan fried with corn meal and juuuuuust a touch of oil.

    Beets can EABOD.

  96. Beets can EABOD.

    Fight me in real life.

  97. I’m going to bed. One thing about married sex is taking off panties is the universal signal for turning off the tv.

  98. So let me get this straight…..Dan takes of his panties and it’s your fucking job to go find the remote? How is that even fair?

  99. Something like that.

  100. G’night TMI friends.

  101. My MIL told Anita that to cook Okra, you slice it, put in a pot of salted water and boil it for 3 minutes, then drain it and put in new water and boil for 3 minuter again.
    Then, drain it and throw it out…

  102. Fight me in real life.

    This is going to be a stupenderous display of the pugirific arts, my friends! The Fighty Between Two Whiteys! An Ofay Affray! The Honkey Punch! The Thrilla The Color of Vanilla!

    Somebody stop me!

  103. MMM @525AM.

  104. Two white guys fighting over beets. It’s like Soviet Russia!

  105. I don’t understand about 86% of anything said in the evening part of the thread but if that douche Hotspur is here, I just want to say, except for that unfortunate episode of gay pirate sex, Black Sails is really good.

  106. Comment by leoncaruthers on March 22, 2015 10:18 pm
    Two white guys fighting over beets. It’s like Soviet Russia!


    LOL, no really, laugh out loud.

  107. This is awkward, I think Oso is having sex right now.

    Are the dogs watching?

  108. I’m just wondering if Dan has a single brother.

  109. hahahahah, Boooya, Cyn!

  110. Are the dogs watching?

    You like it when there are multiple wieners involved, huh?

  111. Rimshot!

  112. I just started liking beets a few weeks ago.

  113. What do the dogs do when they are having sexy time?

    I’m a worrier.

  114. I hope they’ve already had chicky-chicky time.

  115. Nothing like a cold nose inserted in the wrong place to cause a bit of coitus interruptus. I’m guessing. My dogs have always lived in the back yard.

  116. *glances up to note the time of Oso’s comment
    *does a little back of the envelope math

    She’s been done for 30 minutes already.

  117. CoAlex,

    Your rant made me laugh.

    And think, hmm…

    Let’s say I’m a billionaire supervillan. I haven’t tested the market lately, but I don’t think it would cost all that much to hire a sniper.

    Hell, hire a team of them.

    Sit in your evil lair and drink a mojito as your nemesis is sniped.

    That’s how I’d roll.

  118. I just started liking beets a few weeks ago.

    I was into beets before they got all popular, but I’m over them. I’m really into this other root vegetable now, but you probably haven’t heard of it.

    *wears ratty old P.E. t-shirt ironically*

  119. Time for me to have sleepytime.

  120. Sit in your evil lair and drink a mojito as your nemesis is sniped.

    First, I’mma sit in my evil lair, and sip bourbon.

    Second, I’mma make some major political donations to the Democrats, and then just sit back while my nemesis has to deal with the IRS, the EPA, DoJ, OSHA, PETA, the County building inspectors, the FEC, the FCC, the SEC, NCAA, ACoE, and a host of other acronyms.

  121. And the HOA. Fucking nemesis hasn’t trimmed his hedges in at least two weeks.

  122. Phat, exactly.

  123. snortling at the beets and Soviets.

    A late and hearty congrats to Phat for the spawn’s and your good fortune.

    Now blow that college savings in a manner that will make good stories.

  124. Did anybody agree to invest in anybody else’s terrible company because they needed a tax writeoff today?

  125. Sean, did you really see World Party? I was listening to them today and I was thinking that they are one band that I really missed out on.

    Phat, that is awesome news. Don’t buy a plane without letting me know. I’ll make you a screaming deal on a 1972 210L.

  126. >>>>Sean, did you really see World Party?

    Goodbye, Jumbo

    Love that album

  127. BWAAAAHAHAHA!!! On Axs-TV tomorrow: “An in-depth exploration of lives and careers of Pink Floyd.”

    Run-time? 30 minutes.

    Well, that sounds comprehensive…

    *sets DVR

  128. Naw, Chumpo, I didn’t actually see them live. But they were kind of an underrated band. I’m pretty sure “Ship of Fools” has been a derp here.

  129. They just seamlessly rock. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall in the recording studio.

    Hi Wiser. How was your weekend?

  130. So, do we love or hate Ted Cruz today?

    Scott Walker who?

    Who will be the next flavor of the day for GOP2016?

  131. That’s a good question X.

  132. I do like the idea of the GOP primary being Cruz, Walker, Perry and Bush, while on the left the Dems get Kerry, Biden, Gore, O’Malley, and Warren.

  133. I like how you omitted Clinton, CoLex.

    I think she’s going to spit the bit.

  134. I still think Clinton will bow out before she can formally announce.

  135. as I do.

  136. Nah, Clinton will never bow out — it’s her life’s work to be the first female pres.

    Anyone coming up to “challenge” her is only because she needs someone to practice on in the debates. Plus, it would be too embarrassing to be the only one in the primary.

  137. Bow out now after taking all of Bill’s crap?


  138. What if Hillary’s popularity craters to the pont where the magnanimous gesture of passing the baton to Warren becomes the story of her legacy?

  139. The message is perfectly simple
    The meaning is clear
    Don’t ever derp too far
    And don’t disappear
    No don’t disappear

  140. “A little hard to make out, but there are scantily clad cheerleaders in this photo! Can you be the first one to tell me how many and for what team?”

    it’s obviously team Cyn:
    double camel (toe)
    nicely coiffed hair (and reputedly bush)
    cool at first glance
    broad whorizons
    promises of a brighter tomorrow

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