MMM 164: Spring is almost here, right? RIGHT!?

Today’s MMM is brought to you by excellent retorts:
Here, have a gif.

More than you probably curl, weakling.
I think this is the “scorpion that totally won’t sting you while you carry it across the river” pose.
Some lesser beings will insist that this fine lady is tucking to the front.
You know what we haven’t seen in a while?
Maybe a few more, with some arm ones thrown in for fun.
They might all be butterfaces. I don’t care.
If this is as much as it looks like, I can’t squat it right now.
And that’s it. It’s Monday. It’s March. Go get you some.


  1. Economics and tuckers, novel combination!

  2. First gif girl is the girl.

  3. The cats are convinced that me getting up = breakfast. They still aren’t down with this whole “I get up at 5 and feed you at 6” thing that I’m doing lately.

  4. I like your cartoon.

  5. 315?

  6. She looks to be beyond parallel. Hats the point? Is that supposed to make her a better blocker and tackler?

  7. looks like 245 to me.

  8. She’s where she’s supposed to be on that squat.

  9. “…what’s the point?”

    Those walnuts aren’t going to crack themselves, right?

  10. I think it’s 305.

  11. 420 here.

    puff puff pass

  12. It looked like 315 to me, and that’s correct squat depth unless you’re a power-curtsy curlbro.

  13. Men’s bar, 3 standard plates = 315#. I could be wrong if my assumptions are.


  15. “Parallel” in a competition squat is the top of the thigh, not the bottom, iirc.

  16. Morning, children. Got stuck watching .gif girl.

  17. did you really deliver a calf yesterday, Pep?

  18. Yes.

  19. Incredible.

  20. Was that Thurston Howell in the cartoon?

  21. I think Nike girl with the knee socks is very cute and has a nice body.

    Good gif.

    Great cartoon.

  22. Diameter looks like a girl bar to me.

  23. I dunno. If she’s backsquatting that much, she’s not just your ordinary lifter. Chick who won crossfit games last year has a max of 310.

    World record for a woman in this woman’s weight class – which who knows? – is in the 340 range (for 114 pounds).

    I say no. It’s not that much?

  24. Sorry, that was an old record. 355 now.

  25. That was with a wrap. Which this girl is clearly not using

  26. Why do we have to talk about this shit?

  27. Because it’s Monday.

    Are you sure that’s 340# and not kg? That seems really low. I could swear there was a girl at my gym that was squatting reps with 3 plates, and she was sturdy but hardly hulking. Fantastic ass, too.

  28. I love it when Pendejogrande shows up at the gym:

  29. Mare, did you watch Black Fags?

  30. Well, I guess for 114# that is triple body weight. Still, she could be heavier, like 145# or so herself.

  31. Hotspur, I just finished this book and thought you could use it:

  32. Yes, Hotspur.

  33. Let’s all talk about ass pirates for Hotspur.

    So, how much weight do you think Gay Old Blackbeard could have squatted?

  34. The “gal” in the black and white photo looks like she’s wearing a top you buy in the children’s section at Target.

  35. I think talking about women squatting is arguably much less gay than the Butt Pirate show.

  36. Hotspur, I just finished this book and thought you could use it:

    Too late, Mare.

  37. I am surprised that Hotspur pays for the Butt Pirate Network.

  38. Pays?

  39. Gay Per View.

  40. Argh! Do the curtains match the drapes, Hotbeard?


  42. G’morning, chirrens.

  43. Ok, the SNL ISIS skit was funny.

  44. Good morning, xbradtc.

  45. Knowing that they moved on to Cruella DeVille as a character, I’m rather pleased I gave up on Once Upon a Time after the second season or so.

  46. Alex, how was that skit making a moral equivalence between ISIS and the military, as some are saying?

    I didn’t get that from it.

    Also, stupid young women are joining ISIS because they are mental and that is funny. Yeah, young lady, go and fight for ISIS and during the down time get raped, whipped and stoned to death for laughs.

  47. I gave up on it after the second episode.

  48. My wife liked it and I thought Lana Parilla was pretty hawt so I watched it with her for as long as I could stand it.

  49. Need something new to read. I’m on the second book of Follett’s Century Trilogy, and can’t stand the lefty bullshit he has woven into the story.

    Anyone read Brad Thor?

  50. Alex, how was that skit making a moral equivalence between ISIS and the military, as some are saying?

    I didn’t get that from it.

    I didn’t get any sort of equivalence. The whole point was to poke fun at overly sentimental commercials, IMHO.

  51. Leon, I watched it last night and it was kind of a mess, with Cruella, Maleficent, AND Ursula.

    I liked the show because I like the Hook character and like to stare at his face.

    He may wear eye liner and too many rings and lots of hair gel but he is NOT an ass pirate!

    *crosses fingers*

  52. The whole point was to poke fun at overly sentimental commercials, IMHO.



  53. It’s Hollywood. He’s had to suck at least one dick to get ahead in his career.

  54. Anyone read Brad Thor?


    Yes, all of them a few times. Trust me, no lefty bullshit.

  55. I don’t watch it, but I thought Victoria Smurfit was pretty sexy as Cruella de Vil. Enough to make Load HEAT.

  56. That’s what brought it to mind, XBad. I occasionally read your site.

  57. I’ve liked Brad’s books, he seems to like ‘merica winning which is nice.

  58. I also just got done viewing xbradtc’s load heat.

  59. Hey, Hotspur, I don’t know if this will be helpful but you may get a few ideas:

  60. I really liked Vince Flynn’s books. I couldn’t get into Lee Child. His wordsmithing is pretty shitty for my taste. I’ve read all of Daniel Silva, but his later releases are mostly a tedious rehash of Allon’s previous adventures, and very little new story. So, I’m done with him.

  61. Thanks for the list, Mare. I’ve never read any le Carre. I should give him a try.

  62. Assolutely, Hotspur!

  63. I keep reading that as “Victoria Smurfette”.

  64. If you like old school spy novels, Len Deighton’s Berlin Game trilogy was pretty good.

  65. Somerandomguy’s incisors need work.

  66. Ace is a master of headline hilarity.

  67. Look who’s talking shit now.

  68. hahahaahah….shut up, assface.

  69. Ice dam!

    We got water coming in.

  70. I have to shovel the roof.

    fa la la la la

  71. Don’t use a blowtorch on the ice. I’ve read too many “House burned down” stories!

  72. Ford’s called again for another one of the positions I applied for. 3rd call scheduled for tomorrow.

  73. Comment by mare on March 2, 2015 10:07 am

    I love it when Pendejogrande shows up at the gym:

    Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
    It sorta rang my doorbell but not enough to let the devil in.

  74. Woo hoo! Water stopped.

  75. I finished watching the Wolf Hall series last night. As you can imagine, Thomas Cromwell is portrayed as a kindly smart person, and Thomas More is portrayed as a conniving inept priest.

    The left is going to keep at it until they have reversed every story ever told.

  76. Hotspur, try Lawrence Block. Especially the Matthew Scudder series. His writing is so crisp and clean.

  77. I’ll check him out, Pepe.


  78. My Yahoo mail account is inaccessable. Which is frustrating because there’s an email in there that I need to get access to for the mortgage refinance. Hell of a way to start the week.

  79. Is it plugged in? You should try plugging it in.

  80. I can’t say that it saddens me to see Bill O’Reilly going down in flames. Stick a fork in him.

  81. Yeah, I have a hard time explaining to lefties that, no, I don’t get all my information from BOR and Faux news.

  82. Hey Pepe, there is a post on Insty at 12:44 you might find interesting from a metal working prospective.

  83. Ashe Schow is racktastic.

  84. She’s not MKH, but she’s nothing to sneeze at either.

  85. I’ve only seen head shots of her.

  86. MKH lost all attractiveness when she decided to marry a lib.

  87. Oh my. Well. Um. I’m glad she’s not interviewing me.

  88. Hey, Xbrad, is that thing about the Purple Hearts confirmed?

  89. There’s a picture on her FB page.

    Our children would be well fed.

  90. It’s mostly true, HS.

    As I understand it, the actual metal part of the medal is from 1945, but the ribbons and clasps have been refurbished. There was also a small buy of a few thousand new medals a few years ago.

  91. I wonder where some of the guys I meet in bars buy theirs.

  92. Comment by Hotspur on March 2, 2015 3:40 pm

    I wonder where some of the guys I meet in bars…….

    feel free to fill in the blank you magnificent bastards.

  93. Funny how all of my liberal jewish friends are totally silent on the Netanyahu visit. The other non-jews are all over it like stink on shit. And the jews are usually all over every other liberal talking point. But they are silent on this one.

    Must just be a jewish thing.

  94. I wonder where some of the guys I meet in bars get that photo of Pendejo they all have in their wallet.

  95. Xbrad’s picture of Ashe Schow is the best available on a google image search. Most of her images there are not very flattering.

  96. Why do you think I chose that pic?

  97. I’m just saying. Woof.

  98. I’d hit it.

  99. Oh, sure, like the fist of an angry god.

    And she’s not ugly. But she’s no Dana Loesch or Michelle Malkin.

  100. Neither of them ever cosplayed as Zatana, though.

    And if they did and you don’t give me pics I will cut you.

  101. She’s pretty. Not a model, but who needs that drama?

  102. I imagine Dana Loesch as more a Harley Quinn fan…

  103. No cosplay pics of either of them, but you might go looking for Emily Zanotti Skyles. She’s a hardcore cosplayer/libertarian writer.

  104. Dana would make an excellent Zatana, though.

    And I can’t imagine her pulling off Harley’s voice.


    Kick starter project, plywood go cart.

  106. Greetings, March hares and harsh mares.

  107. We only have one harsh mare around here.

  108. Okay, now who’s being naive?

    (I don’t even know what that means.)

  109. One of my mares is kind of an obstinate bitch, but she’s not really harsh.

  110. Man, there’s some drunk oriental chick in here. Hardly ever see drunk Asians. She must have taken a wrong turn at north campus.

  111. Ask her for a massage.

  112. I took a wrong turn at north campus once. Ended up in your mom.

  113. I’m only harsh to the bad people.

    They know who they are…..

    Oh, and FU Boehner and your boozy orange face.

  114. She left. They cut her off. Probably harfing in the parking lot, or in her date’s car.

  115. heh. Harfing.

  116. BiW calls Boehner the Weeping Cheeto.

  117. BiW nailed that one.

  118. I laughed my ass off when I read that.

  119. BiW calls Boehner the Weeping Cheeto.


  120. I’ve only been cut off at a bar once. My brother and I had several gin and tonics. Our argument that we were on foot and only had to walk 100 feet back to the apartment fell on deaf ears.

  121. tl;dr LOLOLOLOL

  122. I guess Boehner was provided (by Jarrett) files on the GOP in order to keep them in line.

    Not much else makes sense.

  123. So, the Ft. Hood killer got the death penalty. How much bacon can a human tolerate having shoved up his ass?

  124. 3.25 lbs

  125. Just picked up a trip that has layovers in Boston and Albany.

    What are the odds that trip goes pear shaped?

    Roughly 100%.

  126. Uh, dude, Hasan got the death penalty clear back in 2013.

  127. Albany?

    That sucks.

  128. If’n you’d gone the 777 route, you could have had your trip go pear shaped at ORD, which, let’s face it, is far better at being a shitty airport than Logan.

  129. Logan let 9/11 happen.

  130. Well. There is that.

  131. Scott, did you clear the ice dam?

  132. So, how much bacon has he had? Right now!

  133. The dam is still there, but water isn’t coming out of our wall.

  134. How many ass pennies does it take to buy 3.25 lbs. of ass bacon?

  135. Boston is a fun city. Racist, but fun.

  136. I usually try to avoid the NE whenever possible, but this trip lined up in my schedule just right.

    The itinerary is ORD-BOS (layover)-EWR-ORD-ALB (layover)-ORD (fin).

    Hmm… Boston to Newark to Chicago in the winter? All in the same day with only 1 hour between flights? Yeah, that’s some sound planning.

    It’s the trifecta of suck.

    Xbrad, can you send me Spill’s email again? Will be in ORD Thursday night with time to kill.

  137. Any damage other than the wall?

  138. Boston is a fun city. Racist, but fun.

    I don’t understand the “but.”

  139. Check your email, Phat.

  140. Damage? If there is a stain, paint will cover it.

  141. “I don’t understand the “but.””

    It’s a pirate thing. Hotspur can explain.

  142. What what in the butt

  143. Huh, just channel surfed The Following and two women were getting married.

  144. TV is for queers.

  145. I’m thinking so, Leon.

    They sure are cramming it down our throats.


  146. Huh, just channel surfed Scorpion and a women mentioned her ex-wife.

  147. I really need SMOD about now. Could one of you go dance nekkid at Stonehenge or something?

  148. I DEMAND PIV SEX….on tv.

  149. I’ve said it before, but damn. Why are most of my CIA kid friends in RL such fucking anti-semite TFG loving hippies? (I just told one in a PM to STFU about Bibi’s speech.)

  150. Huh, just channel surfed Scorpion and a women mentioned her ex-wife.

    Unless she was obese and had SJW glasses and a buzzcut, this scene is lies on top of falsehoods.

    My suspenders of disbelief would be sheared as though by razorwire.

  151. I DEMAND PIV SEX….on tv.

    I don’t care how lovely you are, mare–I just don’t know if I could perform knowing all those people were watching.

  152. I saw Dance Nekkid open for Frankie Goes to Hollywood in the round at Celebrity Theater in 1987.

  153. CYN!!!! Did you finally turn off the rain?

  154. Yes – finally, but much needed.

  155. OT. When Dan makes corned beef and cabbage and taters, I actually look forward to the leftovers more than the meal. Hash with green chile burritos. AKA Irish Burritos.

  156. I’m thinking so, Leon.
    They sure are cramming it down our throats.

    Heterosexuality is hate. If you don’t experiment (especially if you’re a woman!), then you’re bigoted.

  157. SU H8R

  158. So, did anyone else here conduct sensitive government business on a private email account?

  159. Are you wearing a wire, b-rad?

  160. Mom!!!! XB is stealing Sean’s dealio!!!

  161. My last job, you simply COULD NOT access any non-company email account from ANY of their IT. Not the desktops, not the Blackberry, not the iPhones.

  162. Sam’s you can’t. Target you could. YMMV Target was a hack waiting to happen.

  163. Did anybody tell anybody else that they would no longer be allowed to even touch the volume controls on the stereo if they brought one more fucking zydeco CD into their car today?

  164. Zydeco is pre-Lenten music.

  165. Oso,

    Put down the glass and go to bed. I’m the only one allowed to be more than 4 Chads tonight.

  166. I’m the only one allowed to be more than 4 Chads tonight.

    I’m not flying tomorrow. I’m good for at least 3 Chads, and maybe more.

  167. And no, not flying tomorrow.

    Riding as a passenger to Boston.

    Go to bed and THEN I fly.

  168. Xbrad,

    I know a LOT of guys in Chad’s ANG unit. It would not be a hard thing to get them to fly a Herc into our next meat up.

    For ‘training’.

  169. Savannah ANG, btw.

  170. Meh. I’ve got plenty of time in the back of a Herc. If he can swing a C-17, I’ll buy 2.5 Chads worth of booze.

  171. Three and a half years without a single Chad. Where does the time go?

  172. Wow. That long, huh? I’m still happy to pick up your slack.

  173. Sean,

    The last 3.5 yrs went and you can remember them.

    It’s an awesome win.

    Looking forward to my next LA layover.

  174. Xbrad,

    I didn’t mean that we would go out and see the old Herc, I meant that they would show up at the party.

    That would be fun.

  175. I still have early-onset CRS, phat. But I’m looking forward to buying you some lunch this time.

  176. I’d be OK with having an Air Force plane at the party. But Air Force people?!

  177. Off to bed, got a little bit of traveling to do tomorrow.

    Gnight fellow citizens!

    …and Tushar.

  178. I’ve only had 3 bourbons. Last night was Chad night.

  179. Still stone cold sober. Won’t crack open anything tasty until after XMom gets tucked into bed.

  180. My dad had a friend who retired a Bird Colonel in the USAF. His job mostly entailed running officer’s clubs, from what I understand.

  181. Stolen from the comments on another blog:

    Dog “ownership” just reinforces the harmful paradigm of dog-identified persons being the subordinate “property” of human-identified persons.

    Note the shaming language used as a habitual form of verbal aggression to control people of canine orientation. If xe pees on the rug, xe is a “bad dog”.

    But how can a dog be “bad” within a culture of white male human supremacy that simultaneously strips them of agency and brutally indoctrinates them to the petonormative role of “man’s best friend”?


  182. You’ve expressed explicitly your contempt for matrimony
    You’ve student loans to pay and will not risk the alimony
    We spend our days locked in a derp content inside a bubble
    And in the night time we go out and scour the streets for trouble

  183. Who’s turn is it to get Oso’s breakfast?

  184. Anyone read Brad Thor?

    I’ve read one and enjoyed. Simple read.

    As for the SNL skit and that stupid dress – don’t care.

    But anything that makes fun of radical islam is ok by me, so I think I’m ok with it.

    wakey wakey

    WOrst tip of yesterday? $5 on $68. Part of a larger party, and the bartender working warned me that they were HORRIBLE HORRIBLE tippers. Honestly, that goes beyond horrible. I’d almost rather they just stiffed me. The rest of the part all tipped me accordingly (20%) so it wasn’t me. Ironic, though, because I heard them talking about some “good friends ” of theirs, who are regulars and also pretty shitty tippers.

  185. Why are gay republicans called log cabin republicans?

  186. Because they make the questionable claim that Lincoln was a closted homosexual, based entirely upon a single hotel stay with another man in the same bed when he was a broke lawyer.

  187. Also because they do disgusting things with syrup.

  188. Ask Hotspur.

  189. Oh, I thought it was something to do with wanting to shove a log up your cabin.

  190. More snow tonight, and tomorrow, and Thursday.

    This is getting old.

  191. Snowing here too, heavily. But it’s supposed to be 36F later so I have a coop to clean.

  192. Snow here.

  193. New term I just learned: Agro-EBT complex

  194. I can no longer see any gravel in my driveway.

  195. Where is that whore Mare this morning?

  196. I haven’t seen driveway gravel in months.

  197. I am wrong. It will rain this afternoon and be 42F.

  198. There were a couple of spots that had been blown/ground clear.

  199. Morning, Turds!

    Good use of comma by the way.

  200. We’re mid 30’s today, supposedly. We’ll see.

  201. I still have early-onset CRS,

    Sean said this last night. What is CRS?

  202. CRS = “Can’t Remember Shit”

  203. Can’t Remember Stuff*.

  204. Oh, so that thing we all have?

  205. Hey, Scott level eleventy!!!!!111!11!!!!

  206. I need to get my fitness priorities straight:

  207. I havent’ seen MCPO around much, where’s he been?

  208. *Did not mean to make light of a situation wherein Sean may have blacked out and not remembered stuff.

  209. Don’t know why he’s palming the ball but I like everything else:

  210. I usually dream a lot but lately it’s in overdrive. One of several last night, I was trying to prove I was athletic at something and I had to do a vertical jump and Kevin Costner (evidently, I can’t afford an A lister) said in a condescending manner, “You have to get your knees up or you won’t get off the ground.” And I said, “No one gets off the ground without their knees up!”

    Not very pithy but okay for 4:00 in the morning.

  211. I haven’t seen driveway gravel in months.

    I saw Driveway Gravel open for The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band in 1968.

  212. New term I just learned: Agro-EBT complex
    Is that an unholy alliance of agribusiness and the welfare state, or just a skin disease?

  213. The former.

  214. Because they make the questionable claim that Lincoln was a closted homosexual, based entirely upon a single hotel stay with another man in the same bed when he was a broke lawyer.
    It’s the lawyer part that makes it gay.

  215. I havent’ seen MCPO around much, where’s he been?

    Good heavens, Sherlock Holmes has aged poorly.

  216. White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest on Monday stated that President Obama is “very interested” in the idea of raising taxes through unilateral executive action

    But remember, if you call Licorice Dick a tinplated dictator worthy of a sub-Saharan satrapy, you’re a terrorist/racist/kook.

    He’s worthy of the Nation Below Canada which elected him twice.

  217. Could someone in a nutshell tell me what’s going on with Bill O’Reilly?

  218. He’s a batty old fruitcake. Last time I looked, anyhow.

  219. I can’t stomach the guy, but I was wondering what the headlines were about.

  220. Morning.

    New Poatsy:

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