Happy V Day, H2

waxycIM

Pro Tip:

mdnlNIB

What do you think of this post, minions?

clapping-minions-gif

Now that we’ve discussed Valentine’s Day, rapey advice, and our minions approved of it, let me turn to a more serious topic.

A good friend of mine sent me a book not too long ago and I’ve finally started reading it. I was finishing up ‘Rebel Yell,’ a biography of Stonewall Jackson, so I put the gift in the office and didn’t really think much about it. Spoiler alert: The South still loses the Civil War and Jackson gets kilt by his own troops.

The book is called ‘Railsea’ by China Mieville. It’s a dystopian novel in which the earth is toxic and bereft of water. Humans have laid tracks over the ocean beds, which they now call the railsea, and hunt for large digging creatures aboard tricked out trains, much like whalers in the 19th and early 20th century. The captain is on the search for a great white creature that took her arm and it’s told from the point of view of the train’s apprentice doctor.

I’ve finished part I, and from what I can gather it’s a steam punk version of Moby Dick mixed a bit with Dune. It’s an interesting retelling of a classic, with short, choppy sentences allowing for a very quick pace, contrary to Melville’s magnum opus.

But the book isn’t the point. It’s the fact that my buddy thought I would like it, and was kind enough to send it to me. It’s been awhile since I started hanging around this shit hole dump and I consider many of you good friends. We  exchange emails, make each other laugh, and trade silly gifts every so often. So, thanks everyone and may you have good cause today to say, “THAR SHE BLOWS.”*

*or if you’re a chick, “THAR HE LI…You’re done already. Jeez, I was just starting to enjoy myself….oh forget it. Did you shovel the driveway yet? I hate when you don’t shovel the driveway and the snow gets packed down really hard and it turns into a skating rink out there.”

267 Comments

  1. We need to rewrite the don’t rape rules for liberals.
    1. Do not blow smoke up my ass.
    2. When you see someone having fun, do not pass a law banning that activity.
    3. Think twice before you try to “help” somebody, it rapes my wallet and creates dependency.
    4. No one wants a “utopian city” created by Al Gore, unless it involves getting chakras aligned.
    etc.

  2. Why would you need train tracks, and how on Earth would that be an effective way to find things?

    Should have used airships.

  3. Good morning! It’s good because I’m not leaking explosively from both ends today!

    Woo hoo!

  4. Also I hate trains.

  5. Wait, so where did all the water go?

  6. The captain is on the search for a great white creature that took her arm

    Wait, her arm? Is this that “pink” SF I’ve been hearing about?

  7. Global warming.

  8. N/M, I don’t think I can categorize this guy: http://chinamieville.net/

    Seems on the level about Palestine, though.

  9. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/China_Mi%C3%A9ville

    Marxist internationalist. Neat.

  10. Comment by Jay in Ames on January 25, 2015 9:50 am
    Global warming.

    That’s stupid. If the Earth warmed enough that the oceans evaporated, it would be uninhabitable by humans.

  11. Leftists aren’t actually good at science, CAlex. I’m sure he has some comic-bookery mansplanation for that in the book.

  12. I wouldn’t have sent you that book.

    http://is.gd/4e2l3q

    I need it back when you’re done.

  13. Is that pronounced “Anàl” or “Ànal”?

  14. The former I believe

  15. Lube is more important than the pronunciation.

    Or so I’ve heard.

  16. And about the book….

    You; bag of dicks.

    Some assembly required.

  17. Sorry. I’m sure you were enjoying it.

  18. Butt of dicks.

  19. Lubé or Lubè?

  20. Cyn, did you just learn the keyboard tricks for accent marks or are you C&Ping every time?

  21. I think it’s pronounced Pjur Bodyglide´.

  22. I have an Alt code cheat sheet, but copypasta is quicker.

  23. C&Ping sounds dirty.

  24. Ć&Pìñg

  25. Łübę

  26. Yes

  27. Ÿœr Môm

  28. I tried to learn them at one point for my Spanish lessons’ sake, but I almost always C&P. Too much to remember already.

    I’ve se`en n`ative spea`kers type` them like` this to sa`ve time`.

  29. Ha!

  30. That one armed C’pn sounds like a dipshit. I think I saw here at a Steampunk Parade that Cornered me once at a cafe’ in Santa Rosa. I thought about moving to Tibet after that one I can tell ye.

  31. Steampunk is just the world minus plastic plus way more buckles.

  32. Don’t forget the Bustles and Bustiers, mustn’t forget the Bustiers.

  33. Wakey wakey

  34. Hi baby.

    Car in, your Avatard makes me laugh every time I see it.

  35. Car in moved to Hawaii?

  36. I love my avatard.

  37. I’m on Obama-time Scott.

  38. I’m a confessed fan of bustiers and bustles. I often pine for the fashions of the Victorian era.

    You know, when I’m not appreciating the myriad wonders of lycra.

  39. http://tinyurl.com/mouoouc

    Douthat writes a good article.

  40. In the mists of antiquity there was a fabric. Quiana.

    Oh my goodness, the way it held a woman’s body in a dress.

  41. I just searched Quiana. She is a very attractive black woman. Qiana is the fabric created by Dupont that I’ve never heard of but might have worn as a leisure suit as a kid in the 70’s.

  42. whatever

    it slid off a girl in ways I suppose you’ll never know

  43. I approve of Dave’s memory. The rest of you are buggering girly men.

  44. I certainly have not buggered any girlymen.

  45. I don’t engage in buggery of any form.

  46. Buggery is way overrated

  47. You getting ready, Jimbro?

  48. Yeah. Gassed up the truck. Got gas for the snowblower. Groceries bought. We’re getting hit Monday night then all day Tuesday into Wednesday. Paula works Monday Tuesday and will have a hard time getting home. I’ve got office Monday Wednesday and an easy day Tuesday and don’t need to venture out in the storm unless I get a “life or limb” call.

  49. Today is the day to do it, tomorrow there will be lines everywhere.

  50. Good luck y’all

  51. Potentially historic blizzard.

    We are all set, just need to fuel up my truck and get some more booze.

  52. I miss Jimbro already.

  53. I’m confident Scott and lauraw will make it through.

    Jimbro’s a doc.

    [he’s soft]

  54. I’m planning to post comments by snail mail.

  55. Brave guy.

    Thinks he’s gonna make it.

    Bittersweet.

  56. *dictates peevish letter to Car in*

  57. I will really miss the free medical consults.

  58. I’m sure you’ll be fine, Jimbro.

    [mouths to rest of the H2 “no way”]

  59. I hate you all

  60. I’ve never watched The Shining.

  61. Hooray for corsets and bustles.

  62. Maybe a little NSFW

    http://corsetsgartersandheels.tumblr.com/

  63. There needs to be a porn star named Lana Odi.

  64. The Shining is good. Must be watched under optimum theater environments i.e. dark, good screen, good sound, pop corn, Jr Mints, and no blasted talkers.

  65. Never saw The Shining? You need to see that.

  66. Disappointed face
    That is not a ten inch dick
    Put your pants on, sir

  67. I need to call Car in

  68. We have a DVD copy up at camp. Keeps the kids awake at night.

  69. You should call the restaurant and ask to speak to the bartender.

  70. heh. She’d like that.

  71. One of the older boy’s friends is days away from losing his adoptive mother to ovarian cancer. He’s a good kid and we’ve been helping out by having him over on the weekends and doing some of the basketball practice driving. She’s home on hospice status and her death will probably coincide with this blizzard. I’ve dropped him off at their old farmhouse before and I don’t believe a funeral home will be able to drive a hearse up in a storm. At the family’s request Paula has tried to talk to him about cancer and the inevitability of her passing but at his age he is unable to comprehend it. Poor kid.

  72. That’s terrible.

  73. I sat alone in a house with a departed loved one for over 8 hrs. It’s quite.

  74. I have a feeling he’ll be spending some more time over here on the weekends doing what kids do nowadays: zoning out to videogames, watching basketball and eating pizza. We’ll be happy to do that for him and it might learn our boy a few things.

  75. Jimbro, thank you for loving on that kid.

    He will remember your kindness all his life. He doesn’t owe life a goddamn thing, but perhaps he will use it to give the same to someone else if the time comes.

  76. How is it a place filled with assholes, such as this, sees so many people doing such kind things?

  77. We’re gifted.

  78. Jay. Are you O.K?

    One tap for yes. Two taps for no. Three taps to “Taps”.

  79. The “Special” part of your Special Ed wasn’t in the Gifted Program, Mr. Chumpo.

    Sorry to break it to you.

  80. Car in won’t pick up.

  81. Sounded like Jay had ebola.

  82. I said gifted. Like the letter of Disney Brand Measles that I just gifted you in the mail.

  83. Like I read snail mail.

  84. My pulled pork smells great!

    http://tinyurl.com/ouv63hn

  85. Smell my finger.

  86. Laura’s cooking a brisket this week, in the oven.

    * cries *

  87. Here’s a growth industry. Anti Drone tech.
    http://tinyurl.com/my98v9m

  88. Comment by scott on January 25, 2015 5:54 pm
    Laura’s cooking a brisket this week, in the oven.
    * cries *

    She’s obviously a witch.

  89. I think Scott actually butchered her and tossed her in the crock pot.

  90. I might not be able to find the grill on Tuesday. Plus, I’ll have other things to do.

  91. I fucking hate shopping at Albertson’s. Especially with mom in tow. She takes forever, and when we’re almost done, realizes she wanted me to get three 64oz. bottles of Welch’s grape juice. You know, from the aisle we passed 30 minutes ago?

    **runs and returns**

    And then, Albertson’s always does the same shit. They’ll have a special advertised in the newspaper, and then not upload the special into the checkout computer.

    Buy 5 cans of Campbell’s soup, normally $1.88 each, get ’em for $0.88.

    So, after ringing up the total, then I see Albertson’s didn’t discount it. Annoying as shit. Then the pimply faced clerk had to break out a calculator to try to determine that I was supposed to get a refund of $4.40.

    Uh, no, kid.

    Follow along… if I’m saving ONE DOLLAR each on FIVE cans of soup…. wouldn’t that be FIVE DOLLARS you overcharged me?

    ///blank look on kid’s face

    Manager from two checkout lanes over- “Just give him however much money he says you owe him!”

    I should have charged a couple hundred for pain and suffering and mental anguish.

  92. Also, your mom.

  93. You mom offers a five-for-one discount.

  94. Good day, people who don’t give a shit about the Pro Bowl.

  95. The grocery store is a heinous place when filling out the dreaded list. I walk in circle after circle.

    Wiffey, “get some of these crackers.”
    Me, “No sweat, babe.”

    later:

    “Where’s my crackers?”
    “They didn’t have them.” unbuckles side arm.
    “What isle did you look in?”
    “The Cracker Isle.” Over turns sturdy dining room table, takes up a good defensive position.
    “You Jack ass. They aren’t in the regular cracker isle…”
    “No shit.”
    “They’re in the health food isle.”
    “Of course, they are.” Fragged and blowed up, I die alone. I never had a chance.

  96. It is going to be my first ever solo brisket.

    I enjoy being told in advance that it will be shitty. Takes all the pressure off.

  97. What’s a pro bowl?

  98. They still have the pro bowl?

  99. I fucking hate shopping at Albertson’s. Especially with mom in tow. She takes forever, and when we’re almost done, realizes she wanted me to get three 64oz. bottles of Welch’s grape juice. You know, from the aisle we passed 30 minutes ago?

    **runs and returns**

    And then, Albertson’s always does the same shit. They’ll have a special advertised in the newspaper, and then not upload the special into the checkout computer.

    Buy 5 cans of Campbell’s soup, normally $1.88 each, get ‘em for $0.88.

    So, after ringing up the total, then I see Albertson’s didn’t discount it. Annoying as shit. Then the pimply faced clerk had to break out a calculator to try to determine that I was supposed to get a refund of $4.40.

    Uh, no, kid.

    Follow along… if I’m saving ONE DOLLAR each on FIVE cans of soup…. wouldn’t that be FIVE DOLLARS you overcharged me?

    ///blank look on kid’s face

    Manager from two checkout lanes over- “Just give him however much money he says you owe him!”

    I should have charged a couple hundred for pain and suffering and mental anguish.
    —————————————————————————————

    That kid is on some other blog right now complaining about the asshole who yelled at him.

  100. I fucking hate shopping at Albertson’s. Especially with mom in tow. She takes forever, and when we’re almost done, realizes she wanted me to get three 64oz. bottles of Welch’s grape juice. You know, from the aisle we passed 30 minutes ago?

    **runs and returns**

    And then, Albertson’s always does the same shit. They’ll have a special advertised in the newspaper, and then not upload the special into the checkout computer.

    Buy 5 cans of Campbell’s soup, normally $1.88 each, get ‘em for $0.88.

    So, after ringing up the total, then I see Albertson’s didn’t discount it. Annoying as shit. Then the pimply faced clerk had to break out a calculator to try to determine that I was supposed to get a refund of $4.40.

    Uh, no, kid.

    Follow along… if I’m saving ONE DOLLAR each on FIVE cans of soup…. wouldn’t that be FIVE DOLLARS you overcharged me?

    ///blank look on kid’s face

    Manager from two checkout lanes over- “Just give him however much money he says you owe him!”

    I should have charged a couple hundred for pain and suffering and mental anguish.
    —————————————————————————————

    That kid is on some other blog right now complaining about the asshole who yelled at him.
    —————————————————————————————-

    I didn’t yell at him. Though I was pretty snide.

  101. I fucking hate shopping at Albertson’s. Especially with mom in tow. She takes forever, and when we’re almost done, realizes she wanted me to get three 64oz. bottles of Welch’s grape juice. You know, from the aisle we passed 30 minutes ago?

    **runs and returns**

    And then, Albertson’s always does the same shit. They’ll have a special advertised in the newspaper, and then not upload the special into the checkout computer.

    Buy 5 cans of Campbell’s soup, normally $1.88 each, get ‘em for $0.88.

    So, after ringing up the total, then I see Albertson’s didn’t discount it. Annoying as shit. Then the pimply faced clerk had to break out a calculator to try to determine that I was supposed to get a refund of $4.40.

    Uh, no, kid.

    Follow along… if I’m saving ONE DOLLAR each on FIVE cans of soup…. wouldn’t that be FIVE DOLLARS you overcharged me?

    ///blank look on kid’s face

    Manager from two checkout lanes over- “Just give him however much money he says you owe him!”

    I should have charged a couple hundred for pain and suffering and mental anguish.
    —————————————————————————————

    That kid is on some other blog right now complaining about the asshole who yelled at him.
    —————————————————————————————-

    I didn’t yell at him. Though I was pretty snide.
    —————————————————————————————

    Well, I’m not a religious man, but I hardly think the Baby Jesus would want you to be snide with your fellow man. Especially not on Sunday.

  102. I fucking hate shopping at Albertson’s. Especially with mom in tow. She takes forever, and when we’re almost done, realizes she wanted me to get three 64oz. bottles of Welch’s grape juice. You know, from the aisle we passed 30 minutes ago?

    **runs and returns**

    And then, Albertson’s always does the same shit. They’ll have a special advertised in the newspaper, and then not upload the special into the checkout computer.

    Buy 5 cans of Campbell’s soup, normally $1.88 each, get ‘em for $0.88.

    So, after ringing up the total, then I see Albertson’s didn’t discount it. Annoying as shit. Then the pimply faced clerk had to break out a calculator to try to determine that I was supposed to get a refund of $4.40.

    Uh, no, kid.

    Follow along… if I’m saving ONE DOLLAR each on FIVE cans of soup…. wouldn’t that be FIVE DOLLARS you overcharged me?

    ///blank look on kid’s face

    Manager from two checkout lanes over- “Just give him however much money he says you owe him!”

    I should have charged a couple hundred for pain and suffering and mental anguish.
    —————————————————————————————

    That kid is on some other blog right now complaining about the asshole who yelled at him.
    —————————————————————————————-

    I didn’t yell at him. Though I was pretty snide.
    —————————————————————————————

    Well, I’m not a religious man, but I hardly think the Baby Jesus would want you to be snide with your fellow man. Especially not on Sunday.
    —————————————————————————————–

    Baby Jesus knows five bucks is five bucks! We cool!

  103. **H8RS gonna start H8in’ real soon we don’t knock this shit off.

  104. Nah, they’re all copy-pasting and writing their own versions.

  105. H8ers gonna do whatever it is they do.

  106. “Here’s a growth industry. Anti Drone tech.”

    El Chumpo – some friends and i have been spit balling ideas on this for a while now…. we need non-kinetic, civilian useable devices to stop prying eyes. it’ll get to the point where a lad can’t even piss off his own back porch of the the hunting camp without it being recorded and posted on youtube

  107. don’t let him eat any of it

  108. Well Jam, I’m not an engineer so for me the angle would be in selling a client a contract on existing tech. Identifying the customer as it were. It can’t be long before there is off the shelf counter drone tech just as there are now off the shelf drones.

  109. Why do people start their shopping in the freezer section and then bitch 45 minutes later at checkout that their ice cream is melting? (We were demo-ing applewood smoked bacon today. The Club smelled AWESOME)

  110. don’t listen to him

  111. focused rf bursts or laser – the problem is we would still be splashing some asswipes gear in the middle of a pool party (or what ever) – ideally we would like to commandeer their shit and make them plead for us to return it.

    i think o-dumbo has already been on the receiving end of that scenario.

  112. I should have told him to shut the fuck up.

  113. An oven? AN OVEN? WTF?

  114. http://tinyurl.com/6saja43

  115. Hi Jay. Feeling better?

  116. much better than yesterday, all plugged up now.

  117. I finished my gyros friday. Now i have the withdrawals. Thanx for hipping me to the craft.

  118. I was gonna make some more yesterday, but I was indisposed. My next batch will be epic. Gonna try to talk the pizza place into making them.

    Did you make the pitas yourself too?

  119. TMI Jay, but glad you are better.

  120. Not this time Dr. Jones. I’m working on perfect pizza dough, then Sourdough, then pita. I bet homemade pitta is kick ass!

  121. Best part is the tzatziki sauce. Will be even better with fresh cucumbers in the summer!

  122. “cucumbers in the summer!”

    is that an upcoming video?

  123. This is no spatula, but…

    http://tinyurl.com/l45ul2j

  124. saw this over at moonbattery
    bill whittle:
    http://tinyurl.com/neh4nto

  125. So, Dan likes to guess the Top 5 in pageants and pick the winner. I have to get off social media for the Miss Universe pageant so I don’t “Ruin” his game with spoilers. TTFN Reading for a bit.

  126. The grocery store is a heinous place when filling out the dreaded list. I walk in circle after circle.

    Wiffey, “get some of these crackers.”
    Me, “No sweat, babe.”

    later:

    “Where’s my crackers?”
    “They didn’t have them.” unbuckles side arm.
    “What isle did you look in?”
    “The Cracker Isle.” Over turns sturdy dining room table, takes up a good defensive position.
    “You Jack ass. They aren’t in the regular cracker isle…”
    “No shit.”
    “They’re in the health food isle.”
    “Of course, they are.” Fragged and blowed up, I die alone. I never had a chance.

    http://is.gd/MDlFWa

  127. Oh, hyper critical Pro Bowl commentary while waiting for Int’l fake boobs.

  128. And it’s exactly what you damn well deserved.

    Signed,
    My Wife, Too

  129. That was a great Firewall, jam. Especially when he gives the countdown.

  130. “Maybe it’s the people holding the guns.”

    So raycis.

  131. Reminds me of the time I couldn’t locate the Cheez-It Crackers.

    The end cap is NOT the cracker and cookie aisle dammit!

  132. Jimbro, was it Sam’s? I try to tell these people that you have to maintain aisle locations if you have ECs and POD setups. Too many years with Target. Sam’s just adopted an aisle location system. Soooo 15 years ago with Target.

  133. AND…country costumes don’t really show the contestants. Dan is waiting for the bikini part of the competition.

  134. BTW Dan finally feels well enough to make chili. Frito Pie night FTW!!!!

  135. Local chain called Shaw’s. After not buying Cheez-Its for at least a decade I was given a list after Paula moved in with the boys.

    Sam’s changes their layout once in a while and it screws me up for a good long time.

  136. Anybody else used to like Vegetable Thins? The crackers that were shaped like vegetables (kind of) and tasted (kind of) like salty vegetables? Well, those rat bastids over at Nabisco changed them so they’re all a uniform shape and taste like nothing. I’ma cut a Nabisco muthafucka.

    /crackerblog

  137. We do it to get Members out of their routine and draw them deeper into the Club. Look to the perimeters for frequent items and impulse/seasonal buys in front and center locations.

  138. Sean, I remember a Moron going off on Chick N Biskit. He was soooo right. They suck now. Same bastards that fucked up McDonald’s fries. Sopaipillas used to be awesome in NM. Blah blah trans fats blah blah FU New Mexican restaurants.

  139. HAHAHA

  140. I don’t think I ever heard of Chicken in a Biskit until sometime in college. Not a cracker we had as a kid.

  141. I liked Vegetable Thins. I still like Chicken in a Biscuit.

    Shut. It.

  142. Love Chicken in a Biskit. I can snarf down a whole box in one sitting.

  143. Chicken in a Biskit was good. I’m partial to Triscuits.

  144. In fact, there’s an empty box in my trash can right now.

  145. How do they get the bisket in the basket?

  146. Chicken in a Biscuit is still good. Lots of gluten.

  147. We got some new variation of Triscuits that were awful.

  148. You can live on Triscuits and chili and beer.

    Once I lived on Kale from the yard and a three foot sumer sausage.

    Livin’ like a Boss!
    ( a very poor unemployed boss.)

  149. Must be a Mexican thing.

  150. Roasted Garlic Triscuits are awesome. Especially in a blizzard.

  151. Brown rice with red bean.

    Punishment crackers.

  152. My old school munch: Monty Jack Cheese+Chikn Bskt+Pick a peppa=YUM. Pick a peppa is $$$$. CHKN BSKT is Ugh. Monty Jack is still OK.

  153. Philly cream cheese has a jalapeño spread that is yum on a Wheat Thin.

  154. I like the no salt Triscuits, the others are too salty for me.

  155. Probably don’t like the Ritz shaped like footballs either, huh oso?

  156. Dan is Scott?

  157. Jay I <3 crackers. Ritz and butter. Sociables too.

  158. I grew up without salt.

    Everything is too salty. I don’t know how anyone can eat a McDonalds french fry.

  159. I never add salt to anything. That being said, saw a woman with a goiter yesterday. WTF gets that in this day and age?

  160. I sat alone in a house with a departed loved one for over 8 hrs. It’s quite.

    My dad was here for about five hours after he passed. We just made sure he was never alone until they took him.

    A friends sister passed away on Saturday morning from Cancer. She was hospice and surrounded by family. It was peaceful.

  161. I <3 crackers.

    Thus, your husband.

  162. We were with my Dad for quite awhile until the hearse guy showed up. Hospice lady was freaked for a bit with all the laughter and then she joined in. She shared my 9/11 birthday and she was the hospice nurse for both of her parents.

  163. blergy. Was busy at work tonight.

    I was not told Dave called, so it’s not my fault if he was on hold for 45 minutes. But our hostesses *are* stupid.

  164. Sean FTW. Dan is such a cracker. He is so white!!!

  165. We stayed with my dad for several hours, AND my dog Oskar came in and sat with us. HE NEVER went into my dad’s room. It was really weird.

  166. He’s white, but he makes his own chile from pods.

  167. Car in, My Dad’s cat and dog spent his final hours with me. My sister came into his room at the last minute and I moved to let her sit with him. The dog moved to sit with me at the exact moment my dad passed.

  168. Yea, as dad was passing, Oskar came in. Then sat there for hours.

    It was really errie. He was afraid of my dad – probably his wheelchair.

  169. My dogs didn’t like my Dad’s chair. His dog was in tune.

  170. I think it was because it was so quiet. He could roll down the hall in basic silence. Freaked oskar out.

  171. My Dad was an atheist. He’d made me promise to not go “All Catholic” on him. His GF had a priest come in. My Dad was mostly gone. Priest blessed my Dad, the cat, and the dog. Wasn’t able to give my Dad communion(Duh) but did administer Last Rites.

  172. My dogs H8 wheels. Bikes, scooters, trikes, and wheelchairs.

  173. They H8 people at bus stops too. 1% dogs.

  174. So I have a Twitter acct for the radio show. Just tweeted about upcoming snowpocalypse.

    Waterbury mayor is now following me.

    Dammit. Now I have to behave.

  175. I LOVED Chickin in a Biskit crackers!

    I could eat an entire box in a single sitting.

  176. Are we supposed to follow your RL adult account?

  177. Only reason I’m on Twitter is your wknd Wiserson challenge. Now, I’m being followed by Pontifex. FU

  178. I ain’t following shit.

  179. Watched Gone Girl tonight. Was surprised by how unsurprising the supposed surprises were.

    I did, however, date the prototype for the female lead, so that helped.

  180. Waterbury mayor is now following me.

    Time to post dick pics.

  181. Your better off not following anyone on Twitter.

    Kids have actually given up Twitter. Weird, huh?

  182. I wish it was Spoiler Gone Girl. Dan is watching Miss Boobiverse and the Pro Bowl.

  183. I enjoyed the book. Haven’t seen the movie. I don’t know that it was exactly surprising (the twists) I just wanted to see how it turned out.

    But if your really want to see the movie of the year, it’s opening on Valentine’s day.

  184. >>>>>Time to post dick pics.

    THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DM!!!!!

  185. Kids at work are all Snapchat and Imgur. I don’t fucking care.

  186. I check twitter when I’m REALLY bored.

  187. Yea, kids have an attention span of …

    HEY WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE!

  188. Gone Girl is all about the Batfleck Dick pic.

  189. I guess the most surprising thing is that he didn’t strangle………

    Sorry. No spoilers

  190. >Time to post dick pics.

    THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DM!!!!!

    Perhaps if you’d explained that it was under-inflated due to the cold …

  191. Waterbury mayor is now following me.

    You can probably lose him if you double back on surface streets.

  192. I enjoyed the heck out of the book. But I approached it as a beach/fluff read anyway. It was fun.

    And I watch so few movies, I’ll probably enjoy it. INterested to see how the casting works out.

  193. >>>>Gone Girl is all about the Batfleck Dick pic.

    Heh. For most of the film, I kept saying in my head in a really gravelly voice …..”he’s Batman.”

  194. >>>>>Perhaps if you’d explained that it was under-inflated due to the cold …

    SHRINKAGE!!!!!

  195. Car in, I have no idea how it happened, but I’m being followed by people in Venezuela, Ukraine, Turkey, and Colombia. I just retweet stuff I find interesting or funny. Now, I’m having to think…in Spanish.

  196. Don’t you, forget about me
    Don’t don’t Don’t Don’t
    Don’t you forget about me

    Will you recognize me?
    Call my name, or derp on by?

    Hey, hey,hey HEY

  197. Yea, I just can’t generally keep up with twittyface Jenkins. If I’m really bored, I do like to see what that mark Knoller fellow is saying. I check it MAYBE twice a week.

  198. *waits for seanm to kill me

  199. I’ve got the book laying on my nightstand. Wanted to read it before I watched the movie. Realized it was gonna be a couple of years before that happened.

    Mentioned to Wiserbride, who has read the book and has dying to see the movie “Okay, let’s rent it.”

    She bought it on Blu-Ray today. 28 fucking dollars!

    I said “Seriously?!? Is this a film you think we’re going to watch repeatedly???”

  200. Those magic words……

    Say it with me, guys….

    “It was on sale!”

  201. I’m starting to prefer Twitty to Facechimp. Except for the games that piss me off. If it is a #movieAndMovie don’t post TV shows you dumb fucks!!! Whew.

  202. Did anybody sue the ever-loving fuck out of anybody else for intellectual property theft today?

    *does that fingers pointing at eyes, then toward the other person, then back at eyes thingy in the direction of Michigan*

  203. $28 fucking $ where? We’re $$ and it is only $22 on Blu-ray.

  204. Target. And it came with some silly book supposedly written by Amazing Amy’s parents.

    Ridiculous

  205. Isn’t Gone Girl like Sixth Sense? Once you’ve seen it, you’ve seen it?

  206. Oh, we’ve got the Amazing Amy bonus, too.

  207. BTW Miss USA has the prettiest face of the 5 that are left. Kill me nao!!!!

  208. >>>>Isn’t Gone Girl like Sixth Sense? Once you’ve seen it, you’ve seen it?

    Purty much. There weren’t even enough nude scenes with Rosamund to justify watching it again.

    The Godfather, it ain’t

  209. One thing about working with Dan, is people don’t know that we are married. 3 really cute young cashiers were talking about him in the break room today. I was like, he has grey hair and a beer belly. He’s OLD. Ugh.

  210. >>>I was like, he has grey hair and a beer belly. He’s OLD. Ugh.

    He has a job.

  211. ^^^^Team Lead in Electronics is $$$. He works at UPS too. Single mom’s at Sam’s are all over him. I think of him as Car in Sean.

  212. Suing the everloving fuck out of me will net you a few chickens. And the H2 muddler which has about zero uses for you.

  213. I still can’t believe how many women flirt with Dan right in front of me. Associates and Members. I know that they don’t know we’re married but WTF?

  214. Flash Gordon, OTOH can be watched many times.

    MMM @6:01AM

  215. I am not sure if women don’t flirt with me because I’m never around them or because I’m undesirable.

    I’m going to chalk it up to my consistent avoidance.

  216. Comment by wiserbud on January 25, 2015 11:28 pm
    >>>I was like, he has grey hair and a beer belly. He’s OLD. Ugh.
    He has a job.

    Plus, you know, daddy issues.

  217. Or…. you can ‘re-read some of the funniest shit ever made available on the internet:

    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2011/10/26/we-all-saw-it-coming-really/

  218. >>>Flash Gordon, OTOH can be watched many times.

    ZAKLY!! Blade Runner. Fifth Element. GalaxyQuest. Sin City. 300.

    Those are the flicks you buy.

  219. CoAlex…LOL I told Dan today that it was Daddy issues. There is no one that thinks Deli lab coat and beard net is sexy.

  220. Big Trouble In Little China.

  221. I haven’t watched Sin City in a while. Time to find my DVD.

  222. Add Guardians of the Galaxy.

  223. I’m probably too short to set off the Daddy Issues Girls.

  224. Guy I worked with at Target, thought Dan was my Daddy. He’s younger than me. His hair is white. Not really grey.

  225. >>>Add Guardians of the Galaxy

    Need to watch it first.

    Watched Iron Man 3 today.

    Love those Marvel super-hero flicks.

    DC movies suck. I cannot believe they are trying to compete

  226. Another guy, thought that I was out of my league. Expected my hubby to be short, fat, and balding.

  227. Iron Man 3 was terrible. Really, really awful. If only because Iron Man isn’t in the damn movie.

  228. I’m oblivious to women being interested in me. I’ve had female friends and relatives tell me after the fact, “She was interested in you!”

  229. O M G. Getting ready to re-watch Winter Soldier. You really need to watch Guardians and Big Hero 6. Please tell me you saw Days of Future Past.

  230. CoAlex, my hubby is 50 yrs old and his employees and I have to tell him when wimmins are interested.

  231. Suing the everloving fuck out of me will net you a few chickens. And the H2 muddler which has about zero uses for you.

    Chicken is delicious. And as for the muddler, I could, I don’t know, make sure it got to the next meatup so that other people could enjoy it.

    Yeah, I said it.

  232. And Dan is smacking on Miss Colombia. My Uncle’s 3rd wife and Sofia Vergera could not be reached for comment.

  233. >>>Iron Man 3 was terrible. Really, really awful. If only because Iron Man isn’t in the damn movie.

    You are obviously not a comic book fan. IM3 was brilliant.

    Sorry, so, but I haven’t seen Big Hero or Days. Have to wait until they hit FXM

  234. IM3 tied in with Avengers and Thor Dark World. Winter Soldier is on Starz. Ready to watch again.

  235. Winter Soldier was a really good flick. And I’m not really a Cap fan.

  236. I love Cap. I loved Winter Soldier. Poignant. Can’t wait for the next Avengers.

  237. Ironically, one of the few times that I was actually aware of a woman’s interest was when I was flirting with police officer who was filling out paperwork for an accident that my stepfather was in.

    I was about to ask for her phone number when y mother came up and started talking about how her nephew was interested in becoming a police officer and blah blah blah. I could see the officers expression change and she hurriedly excused herself.

    When we all got back into the car, my mother couldn’t understand why I was mad until my aunt blurted out, “Rhonda, you cockblocked him!”

  238. Back in the day, we’d play Superheroes. My buddies wouldn’t let me be cool. If we played Marvel, I was Sue Storm. DC, Wonder Woman.

  239. Hahaha we call that Dachblocking. Because of our wienerdogs.

  240. If we played Marvel, I was Sue Storm. DC, Wonder Woman.

    Dave had the same problem.

  241. Iron Man comic books tend to have Iron Man in them. Why didn’t the movie? He was in a working suit for less than 2 minutes of the movie.

    And I really could have done without the Grrl Power ending, and the blowing up a few billion dollars’ worth of assets because… wait what? Why the heck did he do that?

    It sucked. It was Marvel trolling the audience.

  242. I’m trolling Dan with Una Palabra from Man On Fire. I’m still bummed that they fucked up DareDevil. IM3 was about the dichotomy between Tony Stark and the suit.

  243. My sentiments, crystalized.

    And more.

    Also, removing the shrapnel also completely ruins the Avengers scene where he talked to Banner about it.

  244. IM3 was about the dichotomy between Tony Stark and the suit.

    No, it’s actually a complete ripoff of the The Incredibles.

  245. No capes!!! Wait…

  246. Daredevil was better than IM3. I say that without having seen Daredevil.

  247. Days of Future Past totally ruined the entire XMen franchise.

  248. I’ve seen Daredevil. You’re wrong.

  249. BTW Worst Marvel pic is still totes better than best DC film.

  250. Ant Man is coming out this year.

    They couldn’t even make the trailer watchable.

    Nolan’s Batman series was pretty good.

  251. http://hellogiggles.com/youtubes-highest-paid-disney

  252. Ugh. Day off tomorrow. No longer contagious. Lunch with MiL.

  253. Days of Future Past totally ruined the entire XMen franchise.

    Wait, you liked X-Men 3 better than that? Seriously?

    Seriously?

  254. Days of Future Past was the only way to fix the debacle of X-Men 3.

  255. It was ghey. I bought back in with the reboot. Kind of a crush on young X and Magneto. Not a fan of time travel in any genre.

  256. X Men 3 was the gheyist they movie of the ghey. That is why I enjoyed the reboot. Until this summer. H8 time travel.

  257. Urgh. Ghey not they.

  258. Rise of the Planet of the Apes resonated with the Navy Brat in me. Dawn of the POTA was a CGI mess. I still watched it. Meh

  259. X-Men 3 makes Batman & Robin look like Batman Forever.

    Which, Batman Forever isn’t really good or anything, but you get what I’m saying.

  260. XM3 nearly had me conceding to my DC foes. Nearly

  261. Pretty sure I didn’t see XM3 or DOFP.

  262. Oso, the worst part was that she was a red head.

  263. **changes WP nic to OsoBradTC**

  264. **smothers thread**

  265. I don’t care if you use me again
    I don’t care if you abuse me again
    You can make me I don’t care
    You can fake me I don’t care
    You can derp me just about anywhere
    It’s alright


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