In Memoriam

batman_shadow

Our long-time friend, Moron, Splitter, and Hostage, Michael passed away last evening.

Rest in Peace.

175 Comments

  1. One last… Happy Birthday, Michael.

  2. One more last…happy birthday, Michael.

    Give PattyAnn a hug.

  3. Well, shit, and on his birthday………………

  4. And Cranky too.

  5. If it were up to him, every day would have been his birthday. That silly Batman.

  6. Happy Birthday, Michael.

  7. Happy birthday, Michael. In pace requiescat. I’ll have some green jello this afternoon this afternoon to augment my Catholic prayers for you. ;-)

    Eternal rest, grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and all the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace.

  8. I’ll never forget the last time I saw him … with a big, black dildo in his mouth.

    Good times.

    Rest in peace, my friend. And happy birthday.

  9. Legacies are troublesome things.

    Happy birthday Michael. May you rest. And thank you for coming to my dad’s service, meant a lot to me.

  10. Thanks for the advice, Michael and the bourbon. You’re a funny guy. We’ll see you down the road.

  11. Holy moly. The rest of 2015 will suck without him.

  12. Cancer is the worst kind of thief.

    It’s taken Batman and the everyday birthday from us, but I still have my memory of him and the BEST DAMN HOE ever made by the hands of men.

    Godspeed, Batman. Be sure to remind the doorman at the gates that it’s your birthday.

  13. I hate it when friends go.
    Rest in peace, Michael.

  14. Damn. Damn.

  15. Michael told me after we went to visit him that he felt he had lived a full life, been to a lot of great places, done a lot of fun things, and known great people. His only regret was that he wouldn’t get to watch his (theoretical, afaik) grandkids grow up.

    We’ll miss you, Michael.

  16. Oh, thank you for that, Mrs. Peel. Needed to hear it.

  17. Yes, peel, thanks.

  18. Happy Birthday Michael

  19. Glad to see some of the old faces and less frequent commenters today.

    Cyn, can you let Mare know?

  20. Happy Birthday, Michael. And Godspeed.

  21. No kidding, Hotspur- just saw that Bart visited IB to say goodbye. Classy guy. Miss him.

  22. […] Rest in Peace, old friend. […]

  23. Very, very sad news.

    Rest in peace, my friend.

  24. According to the birthday wishes on this site, Michael was over 500 yesrs old. It was still too short.

  25. God speed, Batman.

  26. Happy birthday Michael.

    You are loved and will be missed my brother.

  27. Saw the notice of Michael’s passing in the sidebar at Ace’s.
    Very sad news.
    And I ALWAYS fell for the Happy Birthday to Michael deal…every damn time.

  28. w00t!!!!

  29. Mare!

  30. *misses mare*

  31. Very very sorry to hear this.

  32. Michael was a good fake Internet friend. Hate to hear this.

    Has anybody told Tony Romo yet?

  33. Mare, damnit. It’s not the same without you.

  34. *raises a bourbon.

    Godspeed, brother.

  35. Rest in Peace, Michael.
    When St. Peter asks, tell him;
    “I’m Batman!”

  36. So sad… may he rest in peace.

  37. Dammit. Happy birthday anyway, Michael.

  38. Godspeed, Michael

    And happy birthday.

    Hoping to join you in the great meatup up there in a few years.

  39. I hope it’s more than “a few years”, Tushar.

  40. We can always hope that these are the end times. It’s a happy thought. Except I’m not that lucky.

    Rest in peace, Michael.

  41. Leon, we never know. My brother died suddenly at the age of 60, yet my mother, at the age of 98, dances competitively and travels frequently.

    We never know.

  42. I’ll probably never find anyone who will offer to purchase my daughter now.

  43. You weren’t going to sell her anyway. At least not for realz.

  44. Well, there was that one time.

  45. You weren’t going to sell her anyway. At least not for realz.

    We had a handshake agreement, we just couldn’t agree on the price.

  46. yeah… “one time..”

  47. What cracks me up the most about the Giant Black Dildo Event is Wiserbud’s expectation that Michael would make change.

  48. What cracks me up the most about the Giant Black Dildo Event is Wiserbud’s expectation that Michael would make change.

    That bastard got away with it, didn’t he?

  49. I’m still in the market for fertile young wimmenz, Wiserbud. How’s ten hefty stewing hens grab ya?

  50. >> We had a handshake agreement, we just couldn’t agree on the price.

    He was a stubborn haggler

  51. How’s ten hefty stewing hens grab ya?

    hmmmm…. a few months ago, that might have been an attractive offer, but since I just laid down around $17k for her schooling, I may need to hold out for a bit more.

  52. You are a shrewd bargainer, Mr Bud.

    I will add a case of Corona to the bid. I can go no further, however.

  53. Throw in a lime tree and he’ll fold.

  54. I remember when Rutherford used to hang around at IB. He took a shot at me once and Michael actually jumped in and defended me.

    I was stunned. I don’t necessarily need people to stand up in my defense, but he was really awesome in his comment. Made me feel really good to be his friend right then.

    Of course, Michael quickly followed up with his own shot at me, so all was right with the world again.

  55. I will add a case of Corona to the bid.

    is it cold?

  56. I have packed all of the things.

  57. I have packed all of the things.

    how about that fudge over there?

  58. heh

  59. 36F cold enough?

    *slices lime wedges*

  60. Fascist plane people say no more internets. I’ll check back later for your acceptance of my generous offer.

  61. Back when I had the store, and the ability to surf the internet for several hours a day, I provided Michael with so much blog material that he offered me the keys.

  62. May he find peace, and finally kick the Joker’s ass.

  63. I am sorry to hear of the batman’s passing.. is his wife OK?

  64. Sorry to hear about Michael’s passing.

  65. I am sorry to hear of the batman’s passing.. is his wife OK?

    I’m sure she’s holding up pretty well. Cathy is a strong woman and this was not a surprise.

  66. In the distant future, a reconstructive archeologist is going to find that dildo and attempt to produce a clone from the DNA left on it, expecting a slutty, hot chick to appear in his lab. And then Michael will arise from the primordial ooze.

  67. Michael was in a lot of pain for the last few months and I am glad he is now with God.

    I don’t know if Cathy still reads this blog, but please let us know what his wishes were for memorials.

    Also:

    FUCK YOU, CANCER!

  68. >> What cracks me up the most about the Giant Black Dildo Event

    The Giant Black Dildo Event will live on in the anals of Hostage lore forever.
    .
    .
    .
    Wait … I may’ve misspelled that.

  69. >> FUCK YOU, CANCER!

    Well said.

  70. I SWEAR I thought it was a bottle of Jager!!

  71. RT Phat: “FUCK YOU, CANCER!”

  72. The Giant Black Dildo Event will live on in the anals of Hostage lore forever.

    And no one took a picture.

    We got pictures of every single other minute of that weekend, from every conceivable angle, but no, no one thought to snap a pic of that one moment.

    What a waste of $20

  73. >> And no one took a picture.

    Laughing too hard.

  74. Laughing too hard.

    yeah, it was truly an epic moment.

    Gotta give the man his due. He knew how to make people laugh.

  75. He could dish it out, the sarcasm and the teasing and jokes and stuff, but he could also take it.

  76. Michael was a helluva hugger. Squishy good hugs.

  77. heh. I was watchin’ the movie you made DiT @ IB in the about section. it’s a good’n, you talented bastard.

  78. Yeah, not going to give this any of these thingies.

    Fuck cancer.

    Take your place Michael, you earned it.

    -unc

  79. For some reason at this time I’m reminded of this brilliant piece of cinema.

    “What’s all this lying around shit?”

  80. Toga

  81. I hope he left his hoe to someone who could properly appreciate its magnificence and beauty.

  82. HA.

  83. You gotta tell me about the hoe, I forgot. That was for cooking?

  84. Yeah, he used in the outdoor oven, for the brisket.

    Or at least that’s what he said.

    It was also a holder for an iPhone to attempt to livestream the meat-up festivities.

  85. Mystery solved
    All those earthquakes around Dallas?
    The good Lord prolly asked Michael while you are in the neighbor hood could ya take care of a few things?
    Michael must have gotten carried away.

  86. Anyone else notice Rosetta and Mare showed up at the same time ?

    He’s been playing us.

  87. That explains a lot.

  88. >> heh. I was watchin’ the movie you made DiT @ IB in the about section. it’s a good’n, you talented bastard.

    yeah, I know.

    (thanks)

  89. Well sonuvagun.

  90. Did anybody realize that they never did find out what day anybody else’s birthday actually fell on today?

  91. Sweater hugs…

  92. BiW, I was a witness to your live streaming camera holding.

    Also got to see Cathy and others in a bikini.

    You, not so much.

  93. Yep. Saw the U-stream with Cathy in the bikini.

  94. Spent some time looking at old threads at IB today. Since before IB, at Allahpundit’s blog and the mothership Michael and I often would greet each other with a hearty “Eat me!”. Michael particularly liked the Vietnamese version. When I found out he was sick a few months ago we had our final theological discussion on his facechimp page. Will we be allowed to yell Eat Me! the next time we meet? I think it will be ok…

    R.I.P. Michael.

  95. Evening Hostages.

    I didn’t have the opportunity to meet/know Michael and, from everything I’ve read, that’s to my detriment.

    You all have my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your friend and his family has my prayers.

  96. P.S. None of you other morons are allowed to die before I do. Well, except for hotspurt who was old when Christ was a corporal.

  97. That’s nice Bee. You’re a Good MF’er.

  98. Saw the U-stream with Cathy in the bikini.

    That camera on the hoe was epic.

  99. Heya, Brent.

    Brew – you gonna make it to my great state anytime soon?

  100. *waves at Cyn*

  101. Hi Cyn! *flashes dual devil’s forks*
    Not this year :(

  102. *dons Sun Devil cheerleader outfit and does a hurkey flashing devil forks*

    Boooo!

  103. >> It was also a holder for an iPhone to attempt to livestream the meat-up festivities.

    Yep. It was a very versatile piece of equipment.

    Especially when Dave’s iPhone heated up to about 200 degrees during all that.

    *lifts glass of Woodford skyward*

    Good times, Batman. Good times. God bless you.

  104. Man, Dave is rough on his phones, isn’t he?

  105. Ask him how many have found their way into fountains and other bodies of water. He likes that.

  106. If he had only microwaved it.

    That protects them from salt water.

  107. Well I know he fell off some rocks into, well, where was it?

  108. DiT should be packed in white rice.

  109. Long Island Sound.

    Funny as hell.

  110. Long Island Sound.
    Funny as hell.

    I’ve seen a pic of the aftermath, it looked funny as hell.

  111. We sell Selfie-Sticks. Someone at the Hoe meat-up could have come up with that and made $$$$

  112. This thread has me crying and laughing. Rest in peace, Michael. I have a strange hankering for Honey Nut Cheerios and blueberries.

  113. MOM!!! ROAMIE’S PREGGARS AGAIN!!!!

  114. the joy of the Lord was his strength – (paraphrased from Nehemiah)
    Happy Birfday Michael

  115. >>>>This thread has me crying and laughing.

    Can’t imagine a better honor

  116. Romacita, I was crying earlier at the IB. It was new comments on the Fat nekkid lady.

  117. I’d always heard about that poat, but today was my first day actually seeing it.

  118. Mare?? Who let you out of the basement?!? ESCAPED COW!!! ESCAPED COW!!!

    Two great Michaelisms:

    1. At the first big meat in CT, in the parking lot late night, as pajama monkey was bathing in a puddle of fetid mosquito urine, Michael was attempting a breaking and entering on some jackleg’s RV. Right before the cops arrived.

    2. At the meat in St. Louis the following conversation occurred verbatim:

    Michael: Hey are you the bus driver?

    Semi-Disheveled man with beard: No man, I’m Chumpo.

    That exchange made me cry for a week.

  119. Those meat ups are chock-full of fantastic memories.

  120. *haz a sad that he’s never been to a Meat Up*

  121. I’ll never get to see a puking lion. Michael and Cathy pioneered the meat up.

  122. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rnkOkraJXK4 in honor. And dear cancer: fuck you forever, you fucking fuckpile of a fucking illness

  123. The best part of Long Island Sound was when I landed in water up to my knees and thought “well ok this isn’t so bad”

  124. The U-Stream fiasco was frigging hilarious.

  125. Eddie Von Bear just made me cry again. Appalachian State. Oh, and Brew made me cry with his Flag Counter comment at the IB.

  126. Good land! It’s like a dream I had after eating old Chinese food…

  127. Can we just do this all together on the first friday of every month? It’s like a drunken bowling night with invisible friends and no where to run. Like my first through fifth prom night.

    C’mon. We’ve been through a lot together.

  128. 2. At the meat in St. Louis the following conversation occurred verbatim:
    Michael: Hey are you the bus driver?
    Semi-Disheveled man with beard: No man, I’m Chumpo.
    That exchange made me cry for a week.

    Hahahahahaha. That was priceless.

  129. Sucks to see this, Michael was a good dude. Dave, I hate to say it, but your falling in the Drink was probably the number one thing I’ll remember out of all the meatups I’ve been to. I did feel pretty bad that it fried your phone.

  130. Actually, I guess it more drowned your phone, come to think of it.

  131. It was just a phone. We had years of laughs over it. Still do

  132. //looks again at DaveinSound picture//

    //laughs//

  133. Oh yeah I forgot, for those of you who weren’t there, I was feeling pretty good about myself having only slipped in up to my knees…

    then I fucking slipped again and went in over my head

  134. Everyone: You okay Dave?
    Dave: Yeah.
    Everyone: BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

  135. All I remember is the shoes squishin’.

  136. Oh yeah,I forgot about that, *squish* *squish* *squish* *squish* LOL.

  137. Wiserbud captured the moment. With my goddamn camera.

    Then he saved my cut arm with a few shots of some booze on the cut

  138. Well, poo.

    Glad he isn’t suffering any more and that he is whole again in Heaven.

    Hope the lady angels laced up their running shoes nice and tight, cuz I’m sure he’s already chasing them around!

    Rest in peace, sweet man.

  139. I would like to offer a prayer. Hope it prints correctly.

    नैनं छिन्दन्ति शस्त्राणी, नैनं दहति पावक:
    न चैनम् क्लेदयन्त्यापो, न शोषयती मारूत:

    ओम शांती: शांती: शांती:

    The soul can never be cut by any weapon, nor can he be burned by fire, nor moistened by water, nor withered by the wind.

    Rest in peace, Michael. You will always be with us, in our hearts.

  140. When Michael was trying to break into that bearings-company RV, I was concerned. We were having a parking-lot party full of loud, beer-shotgunning drunks, at the edge of the woods by the hotel.

    Then I’m walking to the hotel to use the ladies’ room, and a cop s-l-o-w-l-y drives past me, toward the party. I thought I was gonna drop my water right there.

    But of course, it only turned into party + awesome fun cop. With pictures and posing and happy cop making funny people laugh.

    This always happens. This is normal for all people.

  141. BiW, I was a witness to your live streaming camera holding.
    Also got to see Cathy and others in a bikini.
    You, not so much.

    Friends don’t make friends go blind.

    You’re welcome.

  142. That’s a beautiful prayer, Tushar.

  143. And that was BEFORE the school bus ride!

  144. You all and your shotgunning, I tell ya! Shotgunned beer and ate Pecan Pie in a STL hotel parking lot late night. You were just warming up the engines. Wild Animals.

  145. Hey, Lena Dunham is coming up on Fallon!

  146. Hehe, Russ and Andy shotgunning.

  147. We gotta try to get together in TX

  148. If we keep Russ on a bus, he doesn’t puke.

  149. Officer Paul.

    Great guy.

    “I’ll pay you $20 to taze Rosetta in the nuts”

  150. “Hey man, can I hold your gun?”

    — **”I’m** not even allowed to hold my gun.”

  151. We tried to recreate the parking lot magic in another part of Connecticut but the cops there were not so cool. Fortunately, Scott and I had already fled the scene, and Tushar maintained order.

  152. Actually Dave, I think we offered him 1,000 to taze Rosetta.

  153. Tushar is like the cop whisperer. He managed to faceplant outside the bar in Tempe, and not get picked up for public intox.

  154. Nice job on the header/tagline.

  155. If that cop had accepted the terms that $1000 would have been forthcoming instantly. I can imagine 10 Rons running to the ATM.

  156. Damn. RIP, sir. Greatest _ichigan man I’ve ever (kinda) known. (damning with faint praise, I know). Condolences, Cathy.

    Thank you for posting this and ty to whomever put it up at Ace’s.

  157. Sigh.

  158. So long, you magnificent agent of chaos. Good hunting.

  159. *puts a dish of water out for puppy*

    good boy.

  160. Hear ’em singing Happy Birthday
    Better think about the wish I made
    This year gone by ain’t been a piece of cake
    Every day’s a revolution
    Pull it together and it comes undone
    Just one more candle and a derp around the sun

  161. Wasn’t Michael the judge of the Cool Facts About Dick Cheney?

  162. Love, thoughts, and prayers, Michael and Cathy. Missing all of you lovable idiots.

  163. Yes, I’ll make a resolution
    Then I’ll never make another one
    Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun
    Just enjoy this ride…

    Until it’s done

  164. Hi all you Crazy Goobers and Hot Hostage Wimmins.

    Thanks for this great memorial post about Michael. Some of my best memories are with you folks. I think when that cop showed up, at the CT meat-up I was crashed out and sleeping in the back seat of the car. But those photos with him had me in tears of laughter afterward.

    I still have the “chocolate dildo” incident burned in my brain. *arghh*

    Sorry for my absence. I have no REAL excuse.

    Those asking about me — I’m hanging in there. Lots of tears — especially when I found his “Innocent Bystanders” embroidered sweatshirts in his closet yesterday.

    Gonna miss him bunches.

    Love you all.

    Squishy Hugs and Sloppy Kisses.

  165. I commented over at Innocent Bystanders in their recent thread about Michael — iffin you are interested… Hugs.

  166. God Bless you, Batman. May you rest in peace.

  167. Love you, Cathy.

  168. Well I think one thing Michael has done an excellent job of is bringing douchebags like Americano out of the woodwork. And Bart.

    I thought Bart had choked to death on the dicks of the million donkeys that Americano couldn’t handle.

    And everyone tell your mom to stop calling me in the middle of the night and hanging up when Mrs Rosetta answers.

  169. It’s good to hear your sweet BS again Rosetter. Pass the bottle.

  170. *leaves tiny amount in Jäger bottle, “expresses” Floyd’s glands on bottle*

    Here you go Chumpo!

  171. Thanks dude. I knew that I could count on Floyd’s sincere expressions.

    Shoot me an electronic male. I hit your 88 inbox.

  172. You people are all the best. I mean that very seriously. We may be a weird fucked up family but I proudly claim you all as MY weird fucked up family and I’m lucky to know you all.

    Except for Mare. Because she smells like broccoli that’s gone bad or maybe an overweight goldfish that’s been left in the sun for a couple of days. Not good.

  173. Yeah, if you put the malcontents here up against a group of burned mannequins we may not beat ’em at Trivial Pursuit; however, we are better in some way.

  174. Chumpo I will check it tomorrow because I’ve somehow turned my iPad into angry contrian stubborn piece of ass who will not let me check my gmail.

    I look forward to hanging out again soon brother.

  175. Ok Blood.

    Keep it goin’


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS