MMM 155: this weird institution is still alive

Man, here we are again for another short week of work (for most of us). Do you even need motivating today?

Well I do, because I’m working every day but Thursday, and most of the rest of my team isn’t. So here we go.

Pupster is lurking behind her. Well played, pooch.
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And again!
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Oh good, he’s not in this one. I bet he wishes he was, though.
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This has like, artistic elements of light and stuff. Art, man, I’m tellin’ ya.
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Abz.
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Belt.
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Cute hair.
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Not pictured: kicked person flying vertically away from foot.
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Happy Last Monday of 2014, everybody.

344 Comments

  1. wicked weasel ???

    Oh, wicked weasel…http://wickedweasel.com/en-us

    probably NSFW but it’s just swimwear. Microscopic swimwear.

  2. Local BDN site is publishing Happy Stories about the ACA. Dissent will not be tolerated.

  3. The married kama sutra from the ONT made me laugh

  4. Time to drive to work for my 2 day work week. I’m actually booked up pretty tight since they had to squeeze in a lot of people today.

  5. I have nothing tacky to say about today’s crop.

  6. Think harder, PG, complaints are what we do here.

  7. I wish to complain about the lack of complaints. It precedes a slow H2 day.

    *grumbles

  8. The one chick has tens are her barbells.

    Tens.

    Whatever.

    Wakey wakey

  9. Oh lookie, a token chick up there today – good work Leon!

  10. I work pretty much my normal schedule this week, except I have to come in two hour early on Wednesday. boo.

  11. Are you the general manager now, too, Car in?

  12. I can’t wait until the holidays are over.

  13. only one week to go, Car in!

  14. How’d the night with the mathematically challenged bartender go? How much did you have to pony up?

  15. It will probably slow down after Wednesday. Then the only issue is that 1) a server is leaving/moving and 2) another is going to Spain for 2 weeks.

  16. By New Year’s I’m usually utterly burnt out on “celebrating”.

  17. Same here Leon. I enjoy the time off but when it all comes at around the same time it can be a bit much (world’s tiniest violin…I know). Plus Paula endds up working a lot of the days off and we get to see each other only briefly and she’s either in a rus to get to work or tired from dealing with work all day. She likes to vent about the wackos she deals with at work all day.

  18. She likes to vent about the wackos she deals with at work all day.

    Patients, or workers? *nods

  19. 3) Sean will knock somebody up by then.

  20. Both Jay! She was the psych nurse 2 days ago and yesterday they ordered out to Chili’s near the end of her shift and she got an order of chicken strips for our youngest. When she went to grab them out of the break room fridge someone had eaten them despite her name on the bag. I told her next time she should leave them in her car for a week and then leave them in there.

  21. *studies intently the micro bikini concept*

  22. It’s like a bikini but smaller, George.

  23. *continues micro bikini study, with extreme prejudice*

  24. Scholarship has delivered results.

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChainmailBikini

  25. http://is.gd/QxbS1z

  26. I always thought that Jimmy Olsen was a bit of an odd duck.

  27. Red Sonja wears chainmail bikinis. Despite, or maybe because of this, she always manages to slay whatever number of assassins or roughians that set upon her with evil intent.

  28. I like the line in the header of Wicked Weasel:

    Wicked Weasel Logo
    Micro bikinis, barely covering girls since 1994

  29. Don’t they mean, “Covering barely girls since 1994”?

  30. Ruffian.

  31. http://www.roughian.hr/

    I meant fuzzy dogs

  32. I must have missed those scenes.

  33. Oh, did you think I meant evil men?

  34. Don’t they mean, “Covering barely girls since 1994″?

    Barely girls? You must mean the Monday tuckers.

  35. Collies like it rough.

  36. I bought myself a little light reading.

    http://is.gd/4mYdEV

  37. Belt girl is the dude!

    What do I win, a micro-bikini? You better think hard about that one.

  38. If you won a micro bikini and opted not to use it you could use it on a Barbie doll

  39. If you won a micro bikini and opted not to use it you could use it on a Barbie doll

    Be progressive and forward-leaning. Put it on a G I Joe.

  40. Be an avant-garde artiste and put it on a vibrator submerged in a jar of piss.

  41. ^^Total asshole, indeed.^^

  42. But, but, but, he needed the break! To show off his athleticism!

    What a maroon!

  43. RESET

    http://observer.com/2014/12/russians-rage-against-america/

  44. Right after Anita left for the gym this morning, I went to get some more coffee.
    Something didn’t seem right.
    It took a moment to realize that, instead of seeing the back-lawn and east pasture, I was looking at 24 Elk in the back-yard.
    It looked like the baby-sitting herd, with a young bull, a couple of large cows, and this-years youngsters. It looks like they had a very productive spring.
    Surprised the hell out of me to see them in full daylight…

  45. Very cool, Chrispy. Did you get a chance to snap a picture?

  46. Are you calling him a liar?

  47. Xbrad,
    I did get a few, but the memory-card was not properly seated in the camera, so they went to ‘internal-memory’. Anita is trying to get them onto the card, then into the computer.

  48. If Pendejo can’t come up with a tacky comment, life as I know it is over.

    I think that guy with the industrial belt still has his twig and berries.

  49. Pendejo’s tacky comments are an art form akin to cowboy poetry or Sailor Jerry tattoos or your mom

  50. Russia has Putin, we have President Puttin’

  51. Hi honey, I’m home!

  52. Suh suspended. Too bad it’s only for one game.

    http://tinyurl.com/pke92t3

  53. Heh.

  54. Putin ain’t got nuttin on our Puttin

  55. If Pendejo can’t come up with a tacky comment, life as I know it is over.

    Ok fine. red couch girl Has fabulous quads but I highly suspect bolt on tits.

  56. Wife and kids have been in NYC all weekend.

    They get home tomorrow.

    That means I have less than a day to clean up the house and teach the shih-tzu to keep his story straight.

    My drinking limit tonight is 4 Chad’s. I have been known to exceed all limits.

  57. Last night was ‘Guy movie night’.

    Watched ‘Jack Reacher’ and ‘Bloodsport’.

    Tonight is ‘John Wick’.

  58. Speaking of Guy Movie Night, did y’all read the John Milius piece from the sidebar at AOS? Pretty good:

    http://freebeacon.com/columns/hollywood-barbarian/

  59. Hi guys. ~waves~

  60. Good day, people who can’t wait for this dumb year to be over already.

  61. 2014 sucked. 2015 is shaping up to be sucky too.

  62. Holy fuck. I’m gone four hours and this is all the production here. WTF?@!!$

  63. Slow day, XBad.

  64. My day off. Read two books. Chillaxed for the most part. One of my olives in my Bloody lacked a pimento.

  65. Quelle horreur!

  66. Anita put Elk-butt pictures on facechimp…

  67. Took XMom to a luncheon with a bunch of other little old ladies. Turned out, everyone was impressed with how I folded the napkins for the Christmas dinner table, had to show off the picture, then give an impromptu class on how to fold napkins that way.

    Won a door prize of booze, chocolate.

    Still bored to tears.

    But didn’t get stuck with the tab.

  68. I was at D’s this weekend and watched movies. Here’s my review of Hercules.

    Why the fuck did they cast The Rock? They could have gone to Sweden and picked some faggot off the street who would look more like a Greek demigod than Dwayne Johnson. I have no idea what happened in the movie because I was so distracted by the worst casting decision the producers could possibly have made.

    Hercules will get no shirts and like it.

  69. Brick Mansions, on the other hand, is a mindless action movie which is my favorite genre. The story is phoney, the script is silly, and I think that some of the actors tried acting but without a lot of success at the effort.

    On the other hand, it was wall to wall action, parkour is fun to watch, and the main characters are very easy on the eyes.

    Brick Mansions gets four shirts and a wool sweater.

  70. Elk pics were cool. Gardening types might be pissed by elk feedings in their yard. Can you shoot them?

  71. Brick Mansions sounds cool. I love parkour. 22 Jump Street makes fun of it in a very weak mainstream way.

  72. They could have gone to Sweden and picked some faggot off the street who would look more like a Greek demigod than Dwayne Johnson.

    Swedish faggots are notoriously hard to direct. The Rock gets it done in two takes, tops, so long as you tell him before the camera rolls that you “smell what he’s cooking.”

  73. Oh, and b-rad, you might want to contact payroll if you have an issue with the output today. I know I didn’t get my check for last week’s comments yet.

  74. We also watched the final episodes of Sons of Anarchy, which involves Marilyn Manson and some fairly graphic prison sex.

    Me: The butt sex might be okay, but good god! Marilyn Manson? Ewwww!

    D: Dude. Your priorities are really fucked up.

  75. Sean, I think maybe Car in swiped your paycheck to cover the short in the keno drawer.

  76. If you haven’t watched it, Sons of Anarchy is pretty terrific, but you have to watch from the beginning. It’s probably on Netflix or Hulu or something.

  77. Or you can just five finger discount SOA from Sam’s until the Entertainment Associate figures out the SOA demographic.

  78. Heh. Obama screwed up that couple’s wedding, but at least he didn’t demand prima noctis. With the husband.

  79. Roamy FTW!

  80. Probably couldn’t get a moment away from Reggie.

  81. I have bigger issues with TFG shutting down public beaches than I do with the CiC shutting down military golf courses. Still a douche. Sic Semper Tyrannus.

  82. Just heard this in some ad. Had this on 8-track tape.

  83. I find it ironic that they invited him to the wedding, and he crashed it in his own special way.

  84. Heard this today as lunch. Forgot how much l liked it.

    http://tinyurl.com/klttt6w

  85. SOA has their own cigar brand:

    http://tinyurl.com/lflan57

    I’ve never had one but I have had the brand it’s based on called Black Crown which is pretty good for a not too expensive cigar.

    http://www.blindmanspuff.com/blind-cigar-review-black-crown-sons-anarchy-torpedo/

  86. I invited Bush 41 to my wedding. Got a card from the WH. It was/is a thing.

  87. Mrs. Pendejo was clean shaven at our wedding if I remember correctly.

  88. Sons of Anarchy seems to have a cult following and the brand is wildly successful. The cigars are pretty cool.

  89. I was kinda surprised to hear this in a cologne commercial recently, especially with the line about junkies.

  90. I suggested Monkey Man for Wiser’s opening theme on his radio show. I just spent a good 20 minutes listening to Stones songs I hadn’t heard in 25 years or so, thanks Sean. Say what you will about YouTube, they can lead you down a rabbit hole sometimes real good.

  91. SMOD is back? Well OK. Then my candidate is ready to slide back into the ring. On a gurney. But that infirmity doesn’t diminish her political appeal to the layman voter. Quite the contrary. Quite the contrary.

  92. I <3 Lauraw!

  93. Monkey Man needs cologne.

    Makes perfect sense.

    * throws poo *

  94. Dan just asked me to save some of my smoked gouda grilled cheese for Gingy.

  95. #WhyMyWienerIs20lbs

  96. Don’t mess with oso’s wiener.

  97. My dog is not allowed to read your posts.

  98. I’m thankful that MaryAnn doesn’t eat people food. Gingy also likes tortillas, pasta, and peanut butter.

  99. Lauraw what kind of freak feeds his dog deli cheese???? (Gives side-eye to Deli Dan)

  100. hmm, can you make fois gras from dachshund?

  101. You can NOW.

  102. We/ve been telling Gingy for years that she’s lucky she isn’t a rugby player flying over the Andes. She looks smokeable. MaryAnn is lean. Looks stringy.

  103. I have never met a dog that didn’t like peanut butter. I used to share a peanut butter spoon with my dog. I had a boyfriend at the time who was not pleased with the arrangement, but Doggy and I outvoted him.

  104. Gingy loves PB. MaryAnn is weird. Gingy and I share lots of high sugar foods. Ice cream. Biscuits. Cinnamon rolls.

  105. You know who else loves peanut butter? Rats. Ask the three dead ones that ate it from the traps in my shed.

  106. Medically Induced Coma/Voluntary Euthanasia 2016: Because it’s just as good as Jeb Bush and just as bad as Hillary Clinton.

  107. GO what is your NM countdown? Do you like spicy food? Tomasita’s is a trap.

  108. I suggested Monkey Man for Wiser’s opening theme on his radio show. I just spent a good 20 minutes listening to Stones songs I hadn’t heard in 25 years or so, thanks Sean. Say what you will about YouTube, they can lead you down a rabbit hole sometimes real good.

    Amazon Prime Music is the same way. I forgot to turn on the lights one night here at work, I got so wrapped up in digging through their free albums.

  109. Monkey Man is one of my favorites, along with Bitch.

  110. I’ve got another Stones song cued up for the derp tonight.

  111. Did anybody bump into anybody else at the store buying nothing but hand lotion and tube socks today?

  112. Today?

  113. Santa Fe is ground zero mañana.

  114. Cool, GO, you’re just in time for the storm. :)

  115. I’m way past tube socks. Nitrile gloves, baby. At the hardware store.

  116. Dude. Pepe and I can help you navigate NM.

  117. I bring ill tidings wherever my coffin travels.
    Like Dracula, but without the sparkly twee Twilight.

  118. FIL picks up ourselves and coffins at ABQ. Staying at in-laws’ new joint less than one mile from downtown.

  119. Go to Vietnam Vet memorial in Angel Fire. Worth the trip.

  120. Somebody’s slumming.

  121. True Story: End of year probate. Whatev. Prayers for Dan.

  122. Huh, the new stations on the music prime library is kinda cool.

  123. Wife is hot to visit some swanky chocolate shop in Santa Fe.

  124. Snow day tomorrow. I get to work from home, which is actually kind of annoying.

  125. Do you want to build a snowman?

  126. Do you want to build a snowman?

    Leon would build a snow-tucker.

  127. Someone says there’s something derp to pay
    For sins that you committed yesterday
    It’s really rather drippy but something, oh, so trippy
    Something happened to me yesterday

  128. AND STAY DEAD!

  129. I’m just about to go looking for a pressure treated wood splinter in a foot. Been in there 3-4 months. I put my reading glasses on for this one.

  130. Ugh, that sounds painful.

  131. I got wood!

  132. And yes, that’s not a euphemism. I literally got wood!

  133. I used to get metal splinters (mostly aluminum) when I was doing a lot of gasometric analysis at my summer job in college. Those sucked. Blowing them out of my nose was worse.

  134. *invents new superhero with metal shard blowing power*

  135. With metal we can find them on X-ray. Most wood can’t be seen on film so it’s a snipe hunt sometimes.

  136. Holiday fun.

    http://tinyurl.com/muhcx4h

  137. *slow clap*

  138. GAAA. Don’t people eat at home anymore???

    I’m dead today.

    Yesterday was unbelievable.

  139. I eat at home. But i go to a restaurant to get it.

  140. You’re part of the problem, Hotspur.

  141. Gift Cards.

  142. Hate you all.

  143. Even those of us who didn’t pile on?

  144. Know what I haven’t linked in a while? This.

    You’re welcome.

  145. Haven’t been to a restaurant since before Christmas.

  146. No you J’ames.

    We had a server quit (she was supposed to work out the week, she’s moving) and she basically called and said “f-u guy”. So, four servers, one bartender, ENTIRE RESTAURANT FILLED at lunch. It was unbelievable.

    We made it through lunch … and then dinner happened. We have big sections on Monday – made bigger by the server who no-showed – because we don’t really fill up.

    We did last night. Went on a wait. Add in the kitchen was was barely holding on – a cook called in; his grandmother is dying. My food didn’t get too messed up timewise, just one order.

    But yikes. Monday isn’t usually a 12 hour shift, but it was yesterday.

  147. We’ve had takeout twice in the last month. I thought I was helping the economy, giving Paula a break from meal prep and eating a tasty meal. Huh, I need to start thinking about the burden I’m placing on the restaurant staff. Life is complicated I guess.

  148. Have some cheese with that whine.

  149. Exactly, Jimbro. I’m glad I brought this to your attention.

  150. Takeout is not much of a labor burden.

  151. What I don’t understand is why a manager would seat more tables than the waitstaff or kitchen can handle. Restaurants do this all of the time, and they basically shoot themselves in the foot by pissing everyone off. The customers get pissed because the food takes forever, or sits under the lights too long. The waiters get pissed because they don’t get tipped for shit because their service was unnecessarily slow. Or the kitchen gets pissed because they are in the weeds all night.

    It’s stupid.

  152. I’m obviously joking, but it is just one of the difficulties of the restaurant business. You can anticipate how busy you are going to be, but you simply can’t over-staff constantly in anticipation because the servers will all go broke.

    We have X amount of tables, so the people coming in the door will simply ask why they can’t sit at THAT empty table?!!!??

    Usually 4 is plenty for a monday Day shift. We had an extra on, but she quit. So we got our ass kicked.

    At 8, I had to go sit down and drink a FULL GLASS of water. I was feeling sick. That’s what sucks. You’ll go for 9 hours and realize you haven’t had so much as a sip of water. With no breaks, etc.

  153. I’m sorry but you’ll have to wait for a table, mam.

    BUT I SEE AN EMPTY TABLE RIGHT THERE??!!!! I’LL GO SIT THERE.

    Yes, but the servers are very busy and the service will be very slow.

    THAT’S OK. I JUST NEED TO GO SIT DOWN.

    *complains about slow service.

    We’ve had people sit down at DIRTY tables (in the bar – people often wander in there and seat themselves)

    Humn … if we’re too busy we haven’t even been able to bus a table …

    We’ve had people seat themselves at a dirty table, then complain that it’s not clean, etc.

    People are truly amazing.

  154. Takeout is a labor burden.

    Takes just as long to take the order. Takes just as long to cook. Takes longer to pack up, etc, than it does to take to a table. Plus, you’ve usually got a time crunch and can’t time/ multi-task.

    I hate it when people just come to the bar to order take out, instead of going through the hostesses.

  155. Actually, all the customers were really nice yesterday, and I made well over 20%. They saw that I was moving as fast as I could (and most said, “can you do X WHEN YOU HAVE TIME), and I think I gave everyone good service.

    It was just hard.

  156. I love people who sit at a dirty table. Happens all the time, too. They think they are getting ahead of someone by sitting there.

    Then they start to feel like they know how to run a restaurant, by constantly giving tips on how to work faster.

  157. I need propane.

    Today is top sirloin butt day.

    tsbd for Oso.

  158. hey there, chuckleheads.

    hope everyone is well.

  159. Carin, I feel your pain. We had one of the recent hires quit mid shift on Sunday when he burned his hand a second time and the pasty white shift lead told him suck it up and keep going and to always use a towel to grab a pan even if you know it is cold. (I may have used slightly more colorful language than that…)

    Right after he left we got a frat come in with their pledges who were noisy, obnoxious and hungry.

    Anyway, that was an awful Sunday. Good news is: there is no bad news.

  160. Also, why is it that people always think the Nazis/Fascists were right wing? In Europe, the left wingers are always the nutty ones.

  161. Nazis weren’t exactly one or the other, really. They were nationalists (“right”) and socialist (“left”).

    Europe continues to believe that it was the nationalist part that was the only problem with the ideology.

  162. Honestly, the nationalism is the only good part of it.

  163. And the food. Don’t forget the food.

  164. mmmm, bratwurst.

  165. New propane tank
    New regulator and hose

    Back in business!

    SMOKE ALL OF THE THINGS

  166. Our long national nightmare is over. The Connecticut Brisket Research Center is back in business!

  167. Neighborhood pets cower in fear once again.

  168. The food isn’t Nazi, it’s just German.

    The uniforms, though? Stylish. Had to be said.

  169. The Connecticut Brisket Research Center is back in business!

    *sighs deep relief*

    Finally, I can corn my beef with confidence.

  170. We’ve had people seat themselves at a dirty table, then complain that it’s not clean, etc.
    People are truly amazing.

    http://bit.ly/13HpLL3

  171. Hugo Boss uniforms.

  172. Like Wagner, the man had undeniable talent.

  173. Yeah, I loved Hart to Hart, too. That Robert Wagner was something else.

  174. Jim Harbaugh is moving back to Ann Arbor.

  175. Poor bastard.

  176. Not exactly a new poat, but….

    https://animosityinternational.wordpress.com/2014/12/30/2014-in-review-youre-welcome/

  177. UM should fire him and stop charging tuition for in-state forever, just take the top 5%.

    Okay, that’s bullshit, they have a $7B endowment, they don’t need the tuition dollars now.

  178. I should start doing weekly homage poats to the people most responsible for making the world a more dangerous place.

    Al Sharpton would be a good place to start.

  179. Wife and dotter are in target. I’m in parking lot. I gave them enough money to stay in there a while. Winning.

  180. I should start doing weekly homage poats to the people most responsible for making the world a more dangerous place.

    Heh. “The Animosity Itn’l I Person of the Week”

    I like that idea.

  181. My darling husband assembled & installed three new storage cabinets that cover the other wall in my tiny kitchen, doubling my storage space and floor space, and allowing me to discard the two mismatched tables I had in the corner.

    <3 <3 <3

    Em so heppy

  182. Scott’s GOOD for a while.

  183. If you’re happy, then we’re happy.

  184. Ur

  185. Citations for traffic violations fell from 10,069 to 587 in the week starting Dec. 22

    Hahahahaha Cause meet effect.

  186. Revenue hit’s gotta hurt soon.

  187. Coffin ready to be loaded for transportation to Albuquerque. Coffin heater installed.

  188. I’ve ordered 3 shelf units that are average size and 2 that are huuuge. They’ll be distributed between the attic above the garage, the basement and one in the mudroom. Paula is thrilled. Seems she likes a neat house. Women.

  189. I’m just going to leave this here for Hotspur to proofread on wiser’s behalf.

    despotic ruler of a dystopian nightmare who’s people raised their heads

  190. Seriously thinking of doing this in other rooms of the house.

    I’ve been working in the kitchen all day, reorganizing cupboards and grinning my stupid face off. So much room now! No clutter piled on top of surfaces! Even used the top of the very tall cabinet for my cookbooks, with a couple of Scott’s cute gargoyle bookends. Looks nifty, and of course, they’re right there.

    This is the best thing ever. Scott and I have a proven inability to handle the responsibility of keeping horizontal surfaces neat. We drop everything in our hands there, without even thinking about it. Well, now there’s one less room where that can happen.

  191. TSBD is here!!!!! SATT!!!! Smoke All The Things!!! Dan is supposed to get a brisket for New Year’s Eve.

  192. CLEAR ALL THE FLAT SURFACES!!!

  193. We’re overdue for a brisket.

  194. I’m guilty of that too Laura. It’s a never ending battle between messiness and neatness. Two boys and two dogs don’t help either. I hate to throw out “things we’ll need someday” but I can readily see her point. I’m on board with her organizing stuff just not to the extent she dreams about.

  195. I will die a second death if I can ever convince Mrs Orwell to remember to put back the electric toothbrush into the charger.

  196. Winter has returned with cold weather and I’m back to keeping the woodstove running. When I bring in firewood my puppy treats the logs as a chew toy. He rips the bark off in pieces and chews it while leaving bark chips everywhere in the living room. We keep telling ourselves we’ll miss the days when Rowan was a puppy.

  197. Some people’s lives would be happier if they just lived in The Container Store.

  198. “Into the Woods” was awesome.

    That’s all of a movie review you get.

  199. Haven’t seen it yet. Gay Patriot was tweeting about the Big Bad Wolf being a pedo.

  200. Wife and kids are do back from NYC in an hour.

    Frantically cleaning the house and trying to get the shih-tzu’s to keep their stories straight.

  201. Watched ‘John Wick’ last night/early this am.

    Really good. Not much of a Keanu fan, but he was great in this.

  202. Phat, just leave the house as it is. When they come in you should be 4 Chads and passed out on the couch in your tighty-whities.

  203. Beer review:

    Smuttynose Finestkind IPA: Strongly and deliciously hoppy, but maybe just a tad overdone with the floral quality. Feels like I’m sucking on a daffodil. Good sipping beer; I wouldn’t be able to reach for another one too soon afterwards. Probably better for Summer, with barbecue, and served ice-ice-ice cold. Clean, astringent finish. Refreshing, but not too light bodied. 3.8 out of 5 stars.

  204. If you ever see a giant slab of beef labeled top sirloin roast butt, and wonder if it would make a good roast beef.

    The answer is OMFG yes.

    Incredibly tender, like filet mignon tender.

  205. CoAlex,

    I’ve done that before. It was not appreciated.

    I’ve only got tonight and tomorrow with the fam before I have to go fly again. Gonna try and keep it classy.

  206. Have a couple of layovers in DC next week.

    Anyone heard from Gabe lately? We had lunch last time I was through town, but haven’t talked to him since.

  207. Beer review:

    Bud Liight Platinum. Taste shitty. Slam six and sleep well though.

  208. http://tinyurl.com/Roamy111

  209. Beer review: Corona – choice of fags everywhere.

  210. Beer review:

    Gritty McDuff’s Christmas Ale. Good shit.

  211. Beer review: Coors light

    Similar to sex on a boat, in that they are both fucking close to water.

  212. Beer review: Weyerbacher Insanity:

    They really should have named this “Big Trouble”. It’s really good but then it hits you like Tyson and eats your children and stuff too. Full of vanilla taste. Very thick and smooth. You should plan on making this the last beer of the evening because it will be whether you like it or not.

  213. Beer Review: Your Mom. Goes down easy.

  214. Beer review: Southhampton Secret Ale:

    An aptly named beer. This beer’s flavor is hidden better than the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

  215. Beer review: Arriba:

    If you have never felt sorry for the people in El Salvador, drink this beer and you surely will..

  216. Beer review: Your Mom Pilsner – smooth finish, pleasant aftertaste.

  217. Dang you, Lauraw.

  218. Beer review: Michelob Ultra:

    For flavor, this would be like taking water and adding beer flavored alka seltzer to it. The only use for it would be to drink it after eating a dozen Kristals or a night at the Waffle House. This would at least speed up the digestive process, allowing a swift yet violent end to the evening’s culinary mistake.

  219. *victory lap burnout all over Hotspur’s lawn*

  220. Beer review: Drank most of a 16oz at Pix Patisserie. Wow, this beer is a train wreck. At first, you get punched in the face with a heavy smoke and peat flavor. Even though it is a little heavy handed, everything is still OK. That is, until the horrific luau pig flavor kicks in. I am not the biggest meat eater in the world, but I definitely don’t want it in my beer. And then you have to sit there and wonder where that flavor is coming from. They claim to follow the German Purity Law, but I’ll be goddamned if there isn’t a little pig in every bottle. Our server at Pix suggested drinking it with cheese, which I think is probably a good idea.

  221. Heh, some funny ones in here:

    http://www.blacktable.com/beerrun030123.htm

  222. Beer review: Grolsch

    How do I open this thing? Hey, Timmy. Do you remember how to open one of these for grandpa? You did it before, but I forget. It’s something simple. You just flick something. Or part of this moves. Timmy, you want to take a turn at it? OK, here. Be careful. What are you doing, Timmy? Aw, son. Naw. Hey! Don’t bang it against the table! Are you fucking retarded? Give it here, Timmy. Son, are you drunk? Have you been dipping into grandpa’s beer again? You little fucker. No, I don’t want to play G.I. Joes right now — tell grandpa how to open this. Now, listen you little bastard. Open this for grandpa!

    Rating: No, I don’t want to play G.I. Joes right now.

  223. “Molson Canadian
    I once knew this Canadian kid named Paul Gilbert. He had a strange hump on his back, was dumb as a tabletop and sported an enormous penis. This is that kind of beer. What else can you say? It’s still cold. This is pretty good.

    Rating: Pretty good.”

    Humpy!

  224. Bcrotch?

    http://is.gd/IZhKPk

  225. If someone named a beer Sweat Off Obama’s Balls, it’d sell like crazy.

  226. Laura gave me a cast iron skillet for the grill.

    Searing just got easy.

  227. And I can cook on top of the charcoal chimney.

    So exciting.

  228. http://is.gd/6T82W1

  229. What movie is that, Buffy?

  230. We’re the Millers.

    http://is.gd/jV903c

  231. Evening Hostages. Drove from FL to NC on Friday, NC to Va Beach on Sat, back to NC today and then back to FL on Sat.

    Yay vacation. But it’s good to see fam.

  232. But it’s good to see fam.

    that kinda depends on your family.

  233. True. But my inlaws are pretty decent people all around. And I only get to see my nieces and nephew (on my wife’s side) once a year.

  234. Did anybody discover that the “Space-Age Polymers” anybody else said their new invention was made of were in fact mostly sawdust and shredded newspapers today?

  235. I bought some “Space-Age Polymers” at a Grateful Dead show in ’88.

  236. Seanm seems to notice shit that none of the rest of us notice. Am I the only one to notice that?

  237. Breaking Bad: Connecticut

    I was working at the statio, board-opping for a basketball game. I was putting together the news for half-time. I saw a story in a town nearby about a couple who had been arrested for running a meth lab out of their parents’ house.

    I then recognized the street address. It happened to be right across the street from a very good friend of mine.

    Weird having that hit so close to home.

  238. If you’re not making meth, you’re missing out on a booming cottage industry.

  239. Wiser’s neighbors are why it’s a 10 minute process to get a fucking ten pack of sudafed.

  240. Polymers.

  241. Only 10 minutes? Luxury.

  242. Wiser’s neighbors are why it’s a 10 minute process to get a fucking ten pack of sudafed.

    They’re not my neighbors. and how do you know they didn’t use methlamine instead of psuedo

  243. Before I go in to buy I do a quick workout so I’m sweating. I also shake my hands and dart my eyes around a lot.

  244. and how do you know they didn’t use methlamine instead of pseudo

    ……*makes anonymous phone call* “Yes? You’re still offering rewards for info?”

  245. Big bad wolf is totally a pedophile, Oso. They had to have done that on purpose.

  246. ……*makes anonymous phone call* “Yes? You’re still offering rewards for info?”

    you really don’t want to do that.

    http://tinyurl.com/pr8d6my

  247. That old song Little Red Riding Hood is kind of creepy. BTW Dan has decided on pork butt instead of brisket. Jalapeño BEPs.

  248. Hahahahahah.

  249. BEPs?? Is that some kind of meat sweat dealie?

  250. Black Eyed Peas. Red neck New Year.

  251. Gross.

  252. PBJB.

  253. Black eyed peas on New Year’s Day is a huge Southern tradition.

    One that I refuse to take part in, much to my mother’s horror.

  254. Cyn! http://is.gd/O98FzZ

  255. So mom’s finally busting out of the hospital, waiting on transport now; short visit to a home where they can get her pain meds dialed in tight and then she’ll be headed home with hospice care. She’ll do a few rounds of radiation to her noggin to keep the tumors at bay for a while and then we’ll see what’s next.

  256. My Dad had Hospice of the Valley. They were awesome! Prayers for CynMom

  257. >>http://is.gd/O98FzZ

    Ha ha! You know me so well.

  258. http://is.gd/1TurbK

  259. Damn, Cyn. *squeezy hugs*

  260. That’s who we’re using too; they were awesome with my grandparents.

  261. Prayers for Cyn and CynMom

  262. MiL had awesome hospice care. It is the only part of the hospital in our town that I’ve been impressed with.

  263. Cyn,
    What about her busted hip?

    Bcoch, what happened to your car?

    WTF else have I missed?

  264. Squeezies back.

    The nurse lady on mom’s case with HOV is a no nonsense no bullshit make shit happen kinda gal. She even made the doctors jump. Heh.

  265. Busted hip. . . Pffft. They actually saw new bone growth if you can believe that!

  266. I like those types.

  267. Chrispy, fender bender during our drive up on Friday.

    Big wreck less than a 1/4 mile ahead of us. Everyone in front of us slammed on breaks as we came up on it. As in, cars peeling out into emergency lanes left and right to avoid collisions. I couldn’t peel off because the car behind me already did and that locked me into my lane.

    If I had another 15 to 20 feet, I could have stopped in time. Crunched part of the front of my wife’s van. Minor damage to rear bumper and and just above on other guy’s car.

    Family of four from Mexico. Mexican license plate. Some kind of international car insurance. The guy spoke no english. The wife had to translate.

  268. *big hugs to our sweet Cyn.

  269. “International car insurance”

    HAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

  270. Wow. Out here, it’s usually the kids that translate. And no insurance. Intl or local. The whole reason Gov FatAss gave them DLs

  271. Transport’s here.

    TTFN

  272. Cyn can probably fill you in about “international car insurance”.

    It’s like ha ha ha hahhaahahhhahahhaahhahahhahhhaahhaa

    You need a lawyer.

  273. Heh. Tiger chick said TTFN

  274. The kids were about the same age as mine. Roughly 7 and 4.

    Impact. Took forever to get him to pull out of the lane and onto the side of the road. I get out, he gets out, he opens the rear driver side door and lifts out this little girl. “Oh shit! Is she ok???”

    *looks at me* “Do not know….?”

    Which freaked me out. I think it had more to do with him not understanding what I was asking.

    They had paperwork for the insurance. Some kind of thing that specifically said it was for mexican nationals who would be driving in the US for at least 28 days.

  275. Doomed.

  276. Lol. If it had been his fault, scott, I’d agree. But it was mine. I’ve already talked with my insurance, who has been in contact with their insurance and so far everything is going smoothly.

  277. Bcoch encounters the only Messicans in the US with proper paperwork. Chreesmas milagro!!!

  278. Hey, has anyone done laminate flooring lately? I’m getting some tomorrow, $1.79 a sq ft. Textured oak.

  279. so far everything is going smoothly.

    ……Until they sue you for 4 cases of immense pain and suffering and loss of work and anything else their lawyer can think of, causing your insurance to triple.

  280. Going homeless is easy.

  281. Methylamine. Methyl group connected to an amine group. Very simple organic compound, really. Smells like death. Literally.

  282. bcoch, have you considered changing your name and moving to another state?

    ’cause you are well and truly fucked.

  283. Methylamine. Methyl group connected to an amine group. Very simple organic compound, really. Smells like death. Literally.

    hence the hazmat suits and gas ma….

    I’ve said too much…

    never mind

  284. He’s OK, they have “international insurance”.

  285. He’s OK, they have “international insurance”.

    ooOOOOoooooo…. interNATtional insurance…..

    well, no worries then. ‘Cause that’s the best insurance of all…..

  286. He needs a mexican attorney, or Michael.

  287. bcoch, have you considered changing your name and moving to another state?
    ’cause you are well and truly fucked.

    *eyerolls*

    I’ll take my chances with being just fine.

  288. He needs a mexican attorney, or Michael.

    “or?”

    I’ll take my chances with being just fine.

    Okay.

    Best of luck with that.

  289. Yes, yes, show me on the wallet where the lawyer touched you. It’ll all be fine, I promise.

  290. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSTd1LuiVUs

  291. He’s fine.
    They have International Insurance.

    Mexico probably guarantees it.

  292. Keep telling it, scott, it’ll be funny eventually buddy.

  293. It’s funny now.

  294. Mexico probably guarantees it.

    NietoCare. It’s like Obamacare, but even better.

    He’ll be juuuuust fine….

  295. *shakes head*

  296. My family and I are fine, btw.

  297. We knew that bcoch. We’re not total savages.

  298. My family and I are fine, btw.

    Got that. And happy about that. Very happy the drunken midgets weren’t hurt and i hope they were not too traumatized.

    Let me know when you get served.

  299. Let me know when you get served.

    *laughs*

    I’ll be sure to do that.

  300. And thank you. The Midgets were startled, especially the eldest because she was asleep when it happened, but they were fine.

    Not so much bothered, more “WTF just happened??”

  301. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 30, 2014 10:45 pm

    Hey, has anyone done laminate flooring lately? I’m getting some tomorrow, $1.79 a sq ft. Textured oak.

    =============

    We put in some snap together stuff. Went in pretty easy. We do have a miter saw, so cutting it to length was easy.

  302. Don’t get me started on laminate flooring that has been in my garage since before TFG was president.

  303. Pepe,
    Anita & I did our own in the house we built. It was Armstrong, and we *rocked* it, but we used a friends miter-saw.
    He was doing the trim for the floors and windows., and he couldn’t figure-out how his blades were going bad so fast.
    That composite Armstrong tile was KILLING his saw-blades.
    He had no idea…

  304. Good Lord. The ONT over at the Mothership is in the weeds. An argument has broken out on the impact on Japanese culture by first contact with the Portuguese and their subsequent societal development and how that compares to similar circumstances in Africa.

    *hangs self*

  305. An argument has broken out on the impact on Japanese culture by first contact with the Portuguese and their subsequent societal development and how that compares to similar circumstances in Africa.

    could be worse.

    could be recipes.

  306. *continues searching craigslist for free fresh horse manure*

    *YAYYYY!*

    *re-writes tomorrow’s to-do list*

  307. Could be worse. Could be gardening.

  308. *I don’t really mean that lauraw.

  309. …could be recipes.

    Let me tell you about my weather.

  310. We still have one room to do, but we’ll get to it eventually. 10 degrees outside, carpet is nice and warm for now. Wood isn’t as cold as I thought it would be.

  311. could be worse

    they could be comparing work-out routines

  312. NM weather is horrible right now. Poor GO. Freezing.

  313. could be worse. Oso acronyms.

  314. It could indeed be worse. It could be trannies in workout gear.

  315. could be worse.

    could be a series of prayer requests…

  316. Could be worse.

    Could be a discussion on lawyers.

  317. Could be a discussion on lawyers.

    ………

    naaaaaaaah…….

  318. Could be worse.
    Could be a guy whose wife wants him to hep her shovel shit on his day off.

  319. and who said anything about lawyers?

    I was talking about insurance companies……

  320. Oh, I know….

    Could be worse.

    Could be a discussion about a local radio show.

    :)

  321. help

    goodnight, schmoopies

  322. See, this is an excuse to get another tool. Miter saw, coming up!

    I already have a table saw.

  323. Night, laura!

  324. Could be worse, could be Pepe talking about his tool.

  325. Could be a discussion about a local radio show.

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  326. Could be worse, could be a Pink Floyd link.

  327. g’nite, beautiful.

  328. Could be worse, could be a discussion on covers.

  329. Could be worse, could be puns from J’ames. :P

  330. Could be worse, could be a discussion on spicy food.

  331. could be worse

    could be another in-law story from that asshole wiser…

    including the story of the cousin-in-law who recently became the father of a beautiful little girl with the stripper he was fucking on the side. And the step-mother of the cousin-in-law who wants to now include the new child and the the stripper mom as part of her family in all future family functions, including family vacations paid for by family matriarch.

    because … family.

  332. Dude!!! That is way mo bettah than any familia story.

  333. Could be worse, could be Dan turning off the heat to get me to go to bed. G’night.

  334. *continues searching craigslist for free fresh horse manure*

    I’m so sad you don’t live closer.

  335. Could be worse.

    You could be sleeping on the couch because someone refuses to swap rooms for 3 days.

  336. *knocks ice off of coffin lid*
    So this is Santa Fe. 15° F sounds less cold if you call it 263° K.

  337. including the story of the cousin-in-law who recently became the father of a beautiful little girl with the stripper he was fucking on the side. And the step-mother of the cousin-in-law who wants to now include the new child and the the stripper mom as part of her family in all future family functions, including family vacations paid for by family matriarch

    *applies to join wiserfamily gravy train*

  338. Got mom all tucked in — what a beautiful facility.

  339. *emails some battery warming socks to Geo.*

  340. Time to tuck myself in for about 16 hours of sleep.

    Nighty dreams. And thank you all for the support. :)

  341. Why not 17?

  342. I would go out tonight
    But I haven’t got a derp to wear
    This man said “It’s gruesome
    That someone so handsome should care”


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