Pre SS Panzer Gift Opening Thread

Funny, but also a fair question for your dokter. RIns3FX

Been enjoying this band lately. It’s kind of mix between *GASP* Pink Floyd and My Morning Jacket. Except without the obvious faggotry of PF. And by the way, their new album sucks more than….your mom.

Lastly, I’m not sure if you guys have friends young enough or possibly the friends of your children that have picked up this annoying habit, but it literally has to stop.

M2RXKuu

410 Comments

  1. https://www.blogthings.com/elfnamegenerator/

  2. Fuck this suit!

  3. Your Elf Name Is: Furry Eggnog Breath

    Cool! I like that one.

  4. WHEN CAN I OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT? *shakes the package* *not a euphemism*

  5. I shook my package and it squealed.

    *also not a euphemism.

  6. Your Elf Name Is: Happy Ho-Ho-Ho

    Seriously? WTF??? Can’t we get anymore creative than that?

  7. I shook my package and it squealed.

    anymore than 3 times and you’re playing with it.

  8. I shook my package and got taken into custody.

    Who knew the lady at the checkout counter was such a prude?

  9. Furry Eggnog Breath

    That works perfectly.

    And what is GND’s Elf name?

  10. Fuzzy Snaggle Tooth

  11. I generally try to treat my package with more care. It’s been a great friend over the years and I have no reason to abuse it.

  12. Giggles Fluffernutter

    or

    Minty Sweet Cheeks.

  13. And what is GND’s Elf name?
    ———————
    Hot Chocolate Baby.

    It would have been better if she wasn’t a cracker.

  14. Ho Ho Ho Bag

  15. My concert band held our annual Christmas concert this past Monday.

    Here are two of the best tunes we played. Note: Not the greatest audio quality.

    Bell Carol a la Swing

    Hallelujah

    I’m also linking this one because I have a bass clarinet solo right at the beginning (4 bars). The drummer fucked up the transition, but he never got it right, even in rehearsal.

    Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24

    Conductor commented to the audience that it took him years to find a piece with a bass clarinet solo, but he finally found one for me. I raised my fist like Judd Nelson at the end of The Breakfast Club as he was talking and the audience cracked up.

  16. Is this a good stunt for Special Edition Saturday?

    nsfw picture at link as you might guess by reading the link

    http://boston.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/radio-station-decides-they-probably-shouldnt-have-let-that-dj-get-an-on-air-rimjob/

  17. I’m doing my now annual DJ gigs at the station tomorrow afternoon and Monday night, playing Christmas music… nothing but Christmas music. (If you listen closely enough, you may be able to hear the moment I fire the bullet directly into my skull.)

    Anyway, I told the station manager I was planning to play those pieces above,

    He paused and thought for a minute, then decided it was probably in his best interest to let me.

  18. Is this a good stunt for Special Edition Saturday?

    Dumbest thing he did was take a picture. Without that, he could have claimed it was all a joke.

    But seriously, what a fucking moron. Some people are really desperate for attention.

  19. Your Elf Name Is: Spicy Stocking Stuffer

    Alrightythen!

    Also, good morning cool kids.

  20. Hot Chocolate Baby.

    That is so fucking hawt…..

  21. Spicy Stocking Stuffer

    ibid

  22. how is the lovely Cyn this fine day?

  23. Just put in my real name.

    Booty Stocking Stuffer.

  24. Condolences on your losses Jimbro and Hotspur. Hugs.

  25. Happily caffeinated, thank you for asking.

  26. Comment by Colorado Alex on December 20, 2014 11:42 am
    Just put in my real name.
    Booty Stocking Stuffer.

    NTTAWWT

  27. Condolences on your losses Jimbro and Hotspur. Hugs.

    Musta missed something here…

  28. Happily caffeinated, thank you for asking.

    any time, darlin’.

    Hope your having a relaxing morning.

  29. So I posted this at Ace’s in the thread about L’il Jackie the Rape Victim™ being a plagiarist, stealing lines from Dawson’s Creek, et. al. to describe Ryan.

    I thought it was hilarious, but not one person remarked on it.

    You want the truth??

    You can’t handle the truth!!

    Ryan, we live in a world that has rape, and those rapes have to be prevented by women with vaginas. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Kathryn Hedley?

    I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for victims of bogus sexual assault claims, and you curse the Social Justice Warriors. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That bogus accusations of campus rape, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

    You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me to make these fake accusations, you need me to make these fake accusations.

    We use words like gang-rape, assault, PIV. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline.

    I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a flyer, and stand a post.

    Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

    Signed: Jackie

  30. No relaxing yet, it’s a workey work weekend – needing to catch up after spending a ton of time with mom these last few weeks. She’s now pretty well situated with some home caregivers while she recovers from her hip fracture and chemo treatments. These folks are saints and angels.

  31. *sneaks around pouring Bailey’s into everyone’s coffee mugs*

  32. there’s a special place in heaven reserved for you Cyn.

  33. and now it’s time for these boots to be wandering. Tons of stuff to accomplish today and so little time.

    Catch up with y’all later.

  34. Thanks, Happy Ho-Ho-Ho, but I’m pretty sure that there’s Bailey’s in heaven.

    Mmmwah

  35. My elf name is Booty Snaggle Tooth, which by coincidence is also my porn star name.

  36. *drains coffee mug*
    *refills with fresh embalming fluid*

  37. *adds an extra shot of Bailey’s to cover up the embalming fluid smell*

    *notices one shot doesn’t work, pours in whole bottle*

  38. Grumpy Sticky Fingers.

    I’m the worst elf ever.

  39. My random elf name is Hotspur’s Horny Mom. How the fuck does it know?

  40. H8?

  41. I’ve been chopping vegetables for that Hostage Recipe lentil soup. As I started typing I noticed a little dry skin coming off my fingertips from the grater. It was still attached to me so I don’t think it went into the soup…much.

  42. I saw Grumpy Sticky Fingers open for Jethro Tull at Earthquake McGoon’s.

  43. Well, today is the family Christmas party. And it is at Hate House. The refrigerator is stocked with hate, and when you stand under our mistletoe, you get slapped. That’s the way it is at Hate House.

  44. Pretty quiet here today. We all did a clean up job yesterday afternoon and this morning (it’s fun to listen to the boys bitch about helping out). I made dinner and Paula took the boy and the puppy to see Santa at Petco. Given the puppy’s energy I hope Santa glued his beard on well.

  45. Are you doing a buffet or a meal George?

  46. Catering from a local funeral home.

    I mean… Mediterranean restaurant.


  47. Via Stars and Stripes

    The Army has finished its investigation into how and why Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl disappeared from his base in Afghanistan and senior Pentagon leaders have been briefed, including Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel, officials said Friday
    …they are likely to lay out whether Bergdahl deserted his post or was “absent without leave” or AWOL. And it could include recommendations on whether Bergdahl should be charged with any criminal violations or forced to leave the Army. Any final disposition will eventually also determine whether Bergdahl gets as much as $300,000 in back pay and other benefits, including continued health care.

    Sounds like time for another Executive Order, excuse me, I meant “memorandum,” to make sure this special snowflake gets all of his bennies.

  48. I am smoking Laura’s lunch.

    It must be ready in an hour.

    * frets *

  49. Does Petco have trans-species Santas? Because diversity animal rights racism.

  50. *hands Scott large ashtray*

  51. I’ve been hearing rumblings that the findings are what his fellow soldiers have been saying right along. Desertion.

  52. Of course it’s desertion. The question is whether Army brass want to cover up the issue or tell the truth.

  53. I was going to make a crack about sexism and male Santas, but then I realized all I would have to do is Google the subject. And I’m sure it’s already a feminist outrage in several places.

  54. Last night I learned that walmart.com ships for free if you spend more than $50.

    I never have to go to Walmart again!

  55. Lunch will be smoked sirloin and sweet corn.

  56. I kinda want to marry Scott.

  57. On a sad note, early Milblogger Buck, of Exile in Portales, has passed away.

  58. CAN I OPEN MY PRESENT YET?

  59. Ummmm

  60. Some idiot sent it from Palm Springs.

  61. Pink from side to side. http://is.gd/wZeDpF

  62. Nice job. I’m not sure I’ve had a smoked steak before.

  63. It’s a pain, and it takes an hour, but they come out perfect each time.

  64. That looks yummy, Scott.

  65. Foot…. ball?

    FOOOTBALL!!!!!!!!

  66. Where’s my present?!?

  67. Someone (Jimbro?) mentioned Wounded Warrior Project the other day? Here’s why I’m not a fan:

    http://gunssavelife.com/?p=10373

  68. http://is.gd/hxBOWX

  69. Who’s the new guy?!?

  70. Where’s my present?!?

    http://is.gd/8uTPg6

  71. Here Mesa, I got you one of these:

    http://tinyurl.com/ornb29a

  72. >>>Where’s my present?!?

    A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund

  73. We should have a star named Tittyweb Jenkins.

  74. It was me XBrad. I’ve made yearly donations and use the amazon smile for them to get a cut of my purchases there. I hadn’t heard anything bad…until now. I’m aware of charities giving out small percentages just didn’t know they were that type. When you said that the other day I held off and wondered why you did. Time to move on from them I guess.

  75. >>>We should have a star named Tittyweb Jenkins.

    Pure GENIUS.

    This will happen.

  76. I think it’s funny. Some schmuck is going to spend $50 to have a star named after someone he cares for. Then he goes to the “International Star Registry” to show her.

    “Look honey, here you are, right next to Tittyweb Jenkins.”

    Fin

  77. I don’t know if these folks are any better, but Gland was working with them a while back.

    http://www.bootcampaign.com/

  78. Now that they have an endorsement from hall of fame boxing referee Joe Cortez, they’ve gotten a bit uppity.

  79. Oh, it will still happen. I’m just wondering who should get the certificate.

  80. They were on my mind too buff. I’ve gone and changed my amazon smile to Boot Campaign. Andy mentioned Fisher House. There’s a place that does outdoor experiences for veterans in Maine I’ll need to research more.

  81. My general rule: If they advertise on TV, they don’t need my money.

  82. ….for just pennies a day…says the multimillion dollar advertising budget.

  83. My old partner, who is a bit of a cheap old bastard, said his donations were through Mainecare. All the billing he did that was reimbursed pennies on the dollar was his “donation”. He had a valid point but we’re paid pretty well despite that and can afford to give above and beyond if we choose to.

  84. I have a donation for you, Jimbro.

    Is it tartar sauce? Maybe.

  85. “I’m just wondering who should get the certificate.”

    The person who invented him.

  86. *prays MJ didn’t get me for Secretion Santa*

  87. The person who invented him.

    I thought that was a “her”.

  88. If you image search Tittyweb Jenkins, this is the 2nd image

  89. Well, now that some nut job has killed two NYPD officers to avenge Eric Garner, I’m sure everything will calm down.

  90. Maybe O will fly back from Hawaii to let us know how disappointed in us as Americans because of the shooting.

    Oh, black perp?

    FORE!

  91. Sounds like the shooter was a Muslim, just for an added bonus.

  92. Tittyweb Jenkins is the alpha star in the constellation Your Mom.

  93. Good day, people who are starting to get concerned about the odors coming from their Secret Santa packages.

  94. I thought you would enjoy having a hamster.

  95. Woop woop! Migraine cluster. At what point does ibuprofen become toxic?

  96. Gerbils are better. You can get ahold of the tail.

  97. * packs vulture to help clean up the mess *

  98. Gerbils are better. You can get ahold of the tail.

    NOW you tell me.

  99. I thought you would enjoy having a hamster.

    I would, but I haven’t proved that I’m responsible enough yet.

  100. I didn’t think I could feel any worse.

    I was wrong.

  101. 24 hours, 18 minutes to SS gifts

    http://tinyurl.com/ctnsdr

  102. http://tinyurl.com/m9bj7fj

  103. You can always feel worse.

    Taco Bell.

  104. Is that still your back, Xbrad?

  105. The suspense is killing me.

    (Actually, the AIDS I got from your mom is killing me. She really needs to do the right thing and call the other 647 guys from the gangbang.)

  106. I should have gone into advertising.

  107. What if the tail comes off?

  108. Ask Richard Gere.

  109. They can’t steer without a tail.

  110. If the tail comes off?

    Taco Bell.

  111. Sassy Fruit Cake. Reading comments now.

  112. If you’re good at your job, you’ll be fine.

    Not the point. It’s the question I’ll always have to ask myself when I don’t get a bonus or a promotion.

  113. Killed it. *Channeling Cranky.

  114. Evening Hostages.

    Well another one in the books. Tonight was part 1 of my daughters’ Winter Recital.

    Every year they do a “Dad Dance”. Typically we do something funny and give the kids and other adults a laugh.

    This year’s theme was Superheroes. We had a Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Hulk, Mighty Mouse and Wonder Woman.

    A good time and laughter was had by all.

  115. You were Wonder Woman, weren’t you?

  116. Lol. I was not.

  117. Ermagerd, the family Xmas party is over. Sitting in quiet Hate House atrium, smoking a Chillin’ Moose. Cigar, not mammal.

  118. One of the guests drove from Phoenix today. Madness.

  119. It’s 7 PM at the Hate House. How did you do it?

  120. Leon, was your whiteness tolerated today, or were you a vile unconscious racist in need of self-awareness training?

  121. I bet Bcock was Aquaman.

  122. Checking in, how are the Hostages this evening?
    Gabe is well and getting stronger.

  123. Our Xmas Hate parties start early and end with biers of flame at dusk or ordinary police raids.

  124. Your mom smoked a Chillin’ Moose. Mammal, not cigar.

  125. I was in the whiter part of my mostly-white state visiting my white family, so my racism wasn’t apparent to anyone.

    It also occurred to me that the phrase used was “pale and male”.

    *submits reimbursement request for tanning*

    If they turn that down, I’m lawyering up.

  126. I wish I had a dog I could scratch now. Good Gabe.

  127. You know you’d be Green Lantern, jewstin.

  128. Your mom smoked a Chillin’ Moose. Mammal, not cigar.

    I guess then that would explain the antlers my pediatrician was concerned with.

  129. I have smoked mullet
    They still don’t taste good and are hard to keep lit.
    Ha

  130. I think it was nice of MJ to swing by and play Mighty Mouse. You know, since he has the costume already and everything.

  131. submits reimbursement request for tanning

    What was that awful movie with James Whitmore, “Black Like Me?”

  132. Back hurts, now my groin hurts, and as a special added bonus, I seem to have an eye infection.

  133. MJ needed a costume?

  134. It is so nice and quiet here now. It almost does not seem like Hate House, but something less suffused with spleen. I think I am losing my edge. The Hate must flow.

  135. Back hurts, now my groin hurts, and as a special added bonus, I seem to have an eye infection.

    Have your palms grown hair? Because if they have, the answer might be positively puritanical.

  136. It’s been too long since Scott posted this:

    http://tinyurl.com/mljk9bw

  137. What I’m seeing right now

  138. Ooh. I quite like that coffee cup. Can you get them in red?

  139. I received a package yesterday from my secret santa who’s return address is Mississippi.
    I thought I knew all the hostages!?

  140. *lowers chin to chest*

    I thought we opened them tonight.

  141. Don’t think I’ve ever seen that cup in red.

  142. “They can’t steer without a tail.”

    Makes. Perfect. Sense.

  143. Hey, Mesa. Merry Mary.

  144. Who put Mesa in charge of the security signage?

  145. Did anybody realize that anybody else’s awareness of–and seeming enthusiasm about–the peephole in the wall of their guest bedroom took all the fun out of it today?

  146. It’s a pity Scarlet is restricted to employees. She may enter my premises on demand.

  147. Sean, you really, really need to move to a better neighborhood.

  148. Nah. My guest was really fat and hairy so I wasn’t looking at the peephole.

  149. My elf name is Holly Snowballer.

  150. Hi Holly. My Elf name is Morty Pinkus. WTF?1

  151. Mr. Chumpo, you are merely a Jewish elf.

  152. I guess so. I was hoping for Mordicai Schellback. Either way, chosen.

  153. I entered my real name and my elf name is Hermey…..

    FML

  154. My elf name is Vulgar Wizard.

    Wait, no…that’s my Wu Tang Clan name.

  155. Rocketboy is home from college. Apparently his friends think we are cool parents not because of NASA but because we don’t freak out over alcohol and I once texted an off-color joke. One friend’s dad thinks his son doesn’t drink at all and has promised to buy him his “first beer” when he turns 21. Mr. RFH said, “Heck, you’re buying ME a beer when you turn 21.”

  156. I entered my real name and my elf name is Hermey…..
    FML

    But what is your elf porn star name?

  157. Heh, my dad took me out on my 21st birthday. I didn’t choose the bar but the bartender new my name. Dad laughed.

  158. I am pretty sure Vulgar Wizard was the name for a nuclear weapons test in the 1950s.

  159. >>>But what is your elf porn star name?

    Hermey.

  160. Hmm. My regular elf name is Ron Jeremy, so go figure.

  161. Hey, OT. does any Known Moron have any knowledge of the book publishing industry?

  162. Hmmmm…. we used to have someone in the biz.
    Whatchya need?

  163. R. Lee Hermey?

  164. Hermey the Drill

    (I’d link the Godfather spoof of Rudolph but I’m beat.)

  165. Chumpo, you got something you want to publish?

    I’ve been researching that and can send you a link

  166. Tbom used to comment here and was in publishing. He wrote a terrific book too.

  167. Chumpo, I’ve edited a book for Amazon self-publishing, so I know a little.

  168. I’d like to talk to an agent. I wrote a Children’s book about Halloween and am having it illustrated in Prague. I’m getting close to race ready and would like to be put some knowledge.

  169. Not now though

  170. I read a book once.

  171. I love Raging Rudolph!!!

  172. So what would you rather have for a ride, the Orion capsule or SpaceX?

  173. Because Orion is NASA, I hear you get priority boarding if you’re Muslim.

  174. 1972 Shovelhead soft tail. No BS. Burnt Mandarin.

  175. Thats the name of my Childrens Book. It’s going to be an instant classic.

  176. I read a book once.

    So you’re saying you have read more books than the president.

  177. I thought about doing a children’s book version of “The Tropic Of Cancer.” Unfortunately the illustrations became a sticking point.

  178. I’m working on the Orion capsule, so I’d have to say that, but I might have more of a warm fuzzy if it were riding on a Delta IV Heavy, even though it’s not man-rated, over the SLS.

  179. where’s that crazy squirrel? I’m listening to that O Sister Blugrass album, me and my four year old dig it.

    Thanx Squirrel

  180. Ah luv it when you talk shop, Romite. Can you speak French?

  181. Love the Delta IV Heavy. Cryogenics rule.

  182. Roamy, what is the nature of the heat shield on Orion?

  183. Also, does it use water-glycol cooling?

  184. Daddy’s Little Jingle Berries.

    Elf name/cereal

  185. I saw Little Jingle Berries open for Big Audio Dynamite in 1987.

  186. Laura:

    http://tinyurl.com/mbsknl9

  187. George, the same as Apollo. It’s called Avcoat and is a pain in the ass to manufacture. Big fiberglass-phenolic honeycomb, with each little cell individually filled with the insulation with something that looks like a caulking gun.

  188. Chumpo, un peu et mal.

  189. Merry Chumpo.

  190. Also, does it use water-glycol cooling?

    For crew comfort maybe, but not for reentry. I just deal with outside stuff, except for some of the racks on ISS.

  191. I saw a book about your mom.

    Ok, it was a magazine.

    With pictures.

    It wasn’t for kids.

  192. I know a little about how the heat shield manufacturing process. Is it more of a pain than bonding tiles to felt?

  193. I was assuming the water-glycol stuff was some kind of evaporator system for thermal control.

  194. Heh. Roamy’s talking about racks.

  195. If wishes were horses
    I would ride, ride, ride!

  196. FIVE, MO-O-RE, SEMESTERS

    Goodnight.

  197. Racks of Roamy

    Rawr

  198. I think we can all agree Roamy’s racks are good enough to send you in orbit.

  199. I’ve met Roamy. I’ve hugged Roamy. I’ve watched Roamy have a pillow fight.

    You, sir, are no Roamy.

  200. split pea soup in the crock pot. This better not suck, xbrad, you made me make it.

  201. I was assuming the water-glycol stuff was some kind of evaporator system for thermal control.

    They use ammonia on ISS, though that’s a pain, too.

    Roamy’s talking about racks.

    I wrote racks, thought twice, then thought what the hell, we need more low-hanging fruit around here. But not low-hanging racks.

  202. Don’t you love censoring as you write comments?

    I’ve caught myself with a hostage comment in other places. Especially email.

  203. Does ammonia have a big thermal capacity to suck up heat? And do your low-hanging racks brush seductively against the atmosphere?

  204. Jay what are ye doing out of your cage this late?

  205. Your mom has a big capacity for sucking up stuff.

  206. Here on the left coast it’s only 930ish. However even if it were later, there seem to be no cages in wild Klownifornia. Don’t know about Iowa.

  207. George, I don’t know about the thermal capacity, but it’s lighter than water.

    Speaking of racks, I need to hit one. Squishy hugs and good night!

  208. Your mom has a big capacity for sucking up stuff.

    I prefer to call her tastes diverse.

  209. Double Oh! How’s the life of a West Coast Giggalo?

  210. Bye Romite’ Sleep well.

  211. Life is okay at the moment, with plenty left to drink and eat after playing nursemaid to a big family party.

  212. Nighty night you miscreants, it’s time for me to crawl back into my coffin.

  213. I’m giggaling like a schoolgarl, Chumpo.

  214. Bye George! Ha. I made myself laugh.

  215. Glad to hear it, Double. Your Derp last night was particularly heavy. I looked those guys up. Crunchy in a metal way. You have range with the Derp.

  216. I heard it on the way home from work. Before that, were you not familiar with Zappa and the Mothers?

  217. This is one of my favorite albums of all time.

    http://youtu.be/6-9FX7bhESs

  218. This is better:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVVDtdchBDw

  219. Yeah. 500 Hotels made me the filmmaker that I am today. Frank and I are also San Diegans so, theres that. Great band.

    uh…Jay. where is the link fail when you need it?

  220. I can’t believe you are anti American, for not liking my link.

  221. I’ve met Mr. Chumpo. The thought of him as a parent scares me.

  222. Hey, aren’t you the bus driver?

    how’s the back, xbrad?

  223. Pretty bad, J’ames. Urgent Care is on the agenda for tomorrow.

  224. In the midnight moonlight
    I’ll be walkin’ a derp and lonely mile
    And every time I do
    I keep seein’ this picture of you

  225. Hmm, thought the chiro was on the right path. Hope you don’t have a slipped disc, or a rupture.

    Good luck!

  226. My mom made quadruple-chocolate bundt cake for yesterday’s visit.

    I’m going to have to lumberjack for a few hours to burn all the carbs out of my bloodstream.

  227. *submits “lumber-jacking” definition to urban dictionary*

  228. Do we open presents today?

  229. Who lumber jacked all the wine?

    http://tinyurl.com/l8bmryc

  230. I may or may not get to chop down trees today. I have to clean the house and then the chicken coop. If there’s still daylight I might do some tree chopping. It’s best to do this in winter if you can because the sap is down in the roots.

  231. Yesterday was gift card hell at work. I h8 them.

    “Oh, you want to buy a giftcard? Sure!!! Because I don’t want to wait on guests who are going to tip me. I’d much rather spend my 12 hour shift selling giftcards for $6 a hour.”

    $3500 in gift cards.

  232. Should put them in a vending machine.

  233. http://m.imgur.com/gallery/RpgEKV5

  234. If carin got a good job and quit working out, what would we talk about? Besides each other’s mothers.

  235. I’ve lost thhe ability to have a hangover. I probably need to join seanm’s team.

  236. PG, I only get hungover if I really overdo it and forget to drink a lot of water.

  237. If carin got a good job and quit working out, what would we talk about? Besides each other’s mothers.

    Gardening. Duh.

  238. If I sow a pumpkin patch, do those generally need a lot of watering or can you get away with just mulching and weeding? I have space out front that’d be perfect, but it’s pretty far from any water source other than the drainage ditches.

  239. *throws a cut up hot dog at Tushar

  240. http://m.imgur.com/gallery/PhHlYht

  241. Pumpkins are pretty easy, but the ones I’ve grown have liked lots of water.

    Maybe an herb garden? Dill, sage, and thyme should do well and once they get started don’t need a lot of attention.

  242. Innapropriate Christmas attire killed it.

  243. There’s no such thing as inappropriate Christmas attire.

    *Puts on mistletoe thong*

  244. Ow. It’s kinda scratchy.

  245. That’s why I got the mistletoe belt buckle. Same effect, more comfort.

  246. Just needs a mistletoe thong (or belt buckle):

    http://tinyurl.com/n2fnrvd

  247. I don’t want to go to work. I want to hang out and open secret santa plesants.

  248. whine whine whine

  249. Miss!

    *rattles coffee cup.

    Do you have gift cards?

  250. Yea, that’s going to be my night. PLUS, I get to close when I have no clue what I’m doing.

    This is going to SUCK.

  251. The year in unnecessary censorship.

  252. A gift for Oso

    http://warpedcigars.com/products/cigars

  253. Does anyone have a decent Fox News link? The one I’ve been using is the Blaze for some reason. WTF?

  254. I don’t and the Blaze always clogs and freezes my phone.

  255. AoS weekend content is really, really weird. It makes me think that the base is a bunch of rahtards.

  256. Huh. Maybe the Blaze is being broadcast on Fox News. It’s playing on a different stream as well.

  257. Russ, PJ, and I were talking old AoS on FB. We have a sooper secret group on FB where we hang out when the H2 is dormant. It’s like the B&W scene at the end of TWoO. Mesa is there, and Aggie, and Scarecrow…

  258. When are we openinning?

  259. Evening Hostages.

    Yeah MJ, the weekend is….different. Lots of nice people though. I’ve met quite a few of the weekend folks. Just…interesting as bloggers.

  260. Toradol, Flexeril and Vicodin for Christmas!

  261. You sharing, xbrad? Although I have flexeril.

  262. Just landed in Chicago. When does SS start?

  263. No, I’m not sharing a damn thing.

  264. Sounds pretty cool Oso.

  265. Fine then, xbrad. I have tequila. That works.

  266. Considering what ibuprofen does to me, I’m afraid of prescription quality drugs.

  267. Greetings, package peekers.

  268. Is GND on FB? Twitter? Can we co-op her?

  269. Sadly, can’t mix drugs and booze. :(

  270. You can mix drugs and booze all you want. Just make sure you have someone handy to dial 911.

  271. Had a peek at my package earlier.

    Yep, still epic.

  272. http://tinyurl.com/YepThatsYou

  273. Co-opt? Whatever, is GND vulnerable?

  274. Shes on pinterest but thats it.

  275. I look at my package occasionally.

    I also looked at my gift.

  276. Well that’s bullshit. How are we supposed to harass her?

  277. ooooh…too young for FB and Twitter. Instagram? Snapchat? New fangled social media. Get off my lawn.

  278. I like looking at Pepe’s knife pics. Art. Thing of beauty.

  279. ooooh…too young for FB and Twitter. Instagram? Snapchat? New fangled social media. Get off my lawn.

    Probably Tinder.

  280. Hey Bcoch, did you ask Beasn before appropriating the Hulk hands?

  281. IS IT TONIGHT?

  282. Shes like me….no social media. She uses pinterest to keep track of craft ideas.

  283. Look outside, dave. Is it dark out? If so, it’s tonight.

    (Make sure you take the bucket off your head first, though, or it won’t work.)

  284. Hey Bcoch, did you ask Beasn before appropriating the Hulk hands?

    Lol. Well if you’re gonna be the Hulk, you gotta have the hands.

  285. Since my gift is from Illinois, I figure I either got someone’s tax bill or a warrant for my arrest because I don’t have a FOI card.

  286. Here’s one for Leon:

  287. Beasn and Aggie are like all about the Pinterest. GND needs to get Linkedin with Roamy, Aggie, and Beasn.

  288. Very nice. Hey, who’s our next Load Heat?

  289. Where is Beasn? I realize I haven’t been around much lately, but I don’t remember seeing Beasn all that much.

  290. She’s here. She’s there. Frenchie’s seek her everywhere.

  291. Scarlet Pimpernel’d/

  292. Very nice. Hey, who’s our next Load Heat?

    I’m thinking Pat Benatar.

  293. She was awesome in concert!!!!

  294. Hmm…I don’t remember her being “hot” per se, but she was kick ass as a musician/singer.

  295. Of course, when she was big, my age was still in the single digits.

  296. FU Bcoch! *Tomahawk chops Bcoch and Roamy* Wearing a Cactus League tee today. BASEBALL!!!!!

  297. My new TV is here!!!!

    I can see the scoreboard for the first time in years.

  298. She was hot. Anyhow, I’m standing by with my package in mine hands and a camera so…2100EST? then open then post pic?

  299. All my RL friends are going to Fleetwood Mac concerts across America. Checking in on social media with their kids. KMN

  300. Scott, tell us about your TV!!!

  301. congratulations Scott. Flatscreens are amazing.

  302. Wearing a Cactus League tee today. BASEBALL!!!!!

    I did another baseball post and sent it in a week and a half ago. *stares at HQ* Oh well.

    Congrats Scott. Color tv is awesome.

  303. Lauraw introduced me to gingersnaps and sharp cheddar. I’m like totes about Kerrygold butter on everything. Bread, crackers, and gingersnaps.

  304. What???? I loved your baseball posts. Even with the Brave taint.

  305. Pat Benatar? I could see that.

    http://tinyurl.com/klwsp35

  306. I gave away my flatscreen.

  307. I’m like totes about Kerrygold butter on everything. Bread, crackers, and gingersnaps.
    And Pat Benatar.

  308. Why not Joan Jett or Lita Ford if you want a rocker. Or Dr. Victoria Zdrok if you want brainy…

  309. Bee Cock, your baseball posts were very well written and entertaining. I will look forward to reading more of them in zee future,

  310. I’ve seen Joan Jett in concert. Pat Benatar was awesome. Crossroads with Martina McBride

  311. Hey STL SoCal Chumpo bus driver…who is your baseball team?

  312. Hi

  313. Fancy butter is a treat.

  314. I was surprised there weren’t a lot of good pics of Lita Ford. Some, but not as many as I expected.

    Joan Jett will get her turn.

  315. Until Load HEAT goes up in the morning, you’ll just have to content yourself with this:

    http://thecaptives.wordpress.com/2014/12/21/sunday-super-funday/

  316. Fancy butter is a treat.

    Duck butter, not so much.

  317. CYN!!!! I’ve got a saguaro on my tee! Cactus League.

  318. Los Padres. The best golf handicap in MBL.

    Hi Kitty. Hows Kix?

  319. Dan was from a totes margarine family. I had to bring him over to the Lard/Butter side. Mmmm…butter. It’s like…butter.

  320. I’ve got a Tony Gwynn sleep tee. Randy Jones BBQ FTW

  321. OLEO

  322. Not a preference or anything, it’s just fun to say.

  323. Tony was my batting coach in ’87. In the offseason he ran The San Diego School of Baseball. It was a great program.

    RIP Fatman.

  324. Your Mom likes oleo.

    Hunh; that is fun to say.

  325. Oh man. Crying. I loved TP. I H8 cancer.

  326. Who is Mr Science?

  327. cyn, there’s an Irish song that makes fun of margarine eaters. Lyrics I remember: It tisn’t because you’re dirty, it tisn’t because you’re clean. It’s because you got the whooping cough and eat margarine.

  328. Ha! That sounds racist.

  329. pretty sure it was. #whitePrivilege FU Margarine eaters. Mmmm…butter

  330. Oh man, that would be awesome, to get advice from Tony Gwynn.

  331. Thanks folks. I don’t actually have any privileges over at the Mothership. So I email my posts to CBD and he posts them for me.

    I knew he was out of town last weekend for a wedding. My only concern is the post dealt with a lot of the transactions that have happened so far in the offseason and it’s rapidly becoming out of date.

  332. Ok, when does this party start?

    Do I have time to run back into the terminal and grab dinner?

  333. I was putting boxes back in the attic just now and the ladder hit me in the head. I have a knot on my noggin the size of my ass.

    Also I see blue, and red, red for the first time ever. It’s nice

  334. IKR? There have been few times in my life when I’ve cried. Roberto Clemente and Tony Gwynn.

  335. *still trying to figure out what the Braves are doing.

    Thanks for Hayward, though!

  336. I spent a week in my room crying when Roberto died.

  337. You’re a brave man, phat, if you’re opening an H2 gift in a public area.

  338. DiT seeing colors doesn’t make me cry. Lil bit worried. No tears.

  339. One of my cousins had emergency brain surgery. It introduced a slight stutter, and memory issues. He says he is relearning a bunch of different concepts.

    Take care of yourself, Dave! Get that bucket back on your noggin.

  340. http://is.gd/ut0uTA

  341. You have time Phat – about 45 minutes until The Revealing™.

  342. Hang in there, DiT. Walk it off.

  343. Also, how do you know it’s red you are seeing? It could be any color.

  344. Prayer before opening gift in public:

    *please God, don’t let this be from Rosetta or Wiserbud*

    Amen.

  345. Ouchie Dave!
    Have you rubbed dirt on it yet?
    You should rub some dirt on it.

  346. Wait….you guys have presents to open???

    *haz a sad*

  347. Someone gets mared every year.

  348. I never thought about it before, but what does Dave see when he bleeds?

  349. My present is yelling. I think it wants out.

  350. I can’t wait until phat’s gift runs across the terminal floor.

  351. red for the first time ever. It’s nice

    It’s a Christmas miracle!!

    Or a toomah.

    probably a toomah

  352. I never thought about it before, but what does Dave see when he bleeds?

    A black, tarry substance. And not because of the colorblindness, either.

  353. I can’t wait for Phat to recount the story of his arrest by the TSA due to his SS gift.

  354. 30 min to go. This should set the mood, if ye hadn’t seen it already.

    http://tinyurl.com/knujotl

  355. I’m opening my gift at work. This might be a terrible idea.

  356. Phat probably has the quikcheck option for frequent travelers.

  357. 1%r

  358. Given the lateness of the hour and the auspiciousness of the event, I may forgo MMM for tomorrow so the pics can stay up for the day.

  359. I can’t wait until phat’s gift runs across the terminal floor.

    DON’T FEED IT AFTER MIDNIGHT OR GET IT WET!!!

    oh wait… those are rules for the safe handling of Cyn…

    Never mind.

  360. I’m opening my gift at work. This might be a terrible idea.

    I’m sure it’ll be just fine.

    *hides a snicker*

  361. True dat, wiser.

  362. http://is.gd/Cndp5U

  363. 30 min to go. This should set the mood, if ye hadn’t seen it already.
    http://tinyurl.com/knujotl
    —————————————-
    That’s straight up hilarious.

  364. Dave, did you make it to the ez chair? Have a drink.

  365. Great. Now in addition to my anxiety about the gift, I have to look for a hidden Snickers, too?

  366. Really? I heard Cyn gets perpetually wet.

  367. Really? I heard Cyn gets perpetually wet.

    And you wonder why you got mared?

  368. I have a salacious story about frozen Snickers, but you have to egg me on to tell it.

  369. And you wonder why you got mared?

    *sigh*

    You people hate me. You really hate me.

  370. Mr Chumpo…Let it go.

  371. *slides a shot of tequila over to Chumpo*

  372. Really? I heard Cyn gets perpetually wet.

    Hey-oooo!

  373. http://is.gd/eFbMNd

  374. kay hold on. i gotta take a call

  375. NO CALLS!

    Chop chop wit the story

  376. I H8 saguaros!!!

  377. Mr Chumpo…Let it go.

    Meh. The cold never bothered him anyway.

  378. Chumpo has people.

  379. Meh. The cold never bothered him anyway.

    But is his storm raging on?

  380. Has everyone scene the 2nd preview to American Sniper? Wow.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bP1f_1o-zo

  381. But is his storm raging on?

    The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside

    Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows he tried!

  382. He didn’t let them in, he didn’t let them see.

  383. Well, I used to work with an Ex Junkie in Hollywood who used to to trick in Griffith Park. One of the regulars was John Hiller who played Higgins on Magnum P.I.

    Higgins would pay top dollar for a young fella to hide a Snickers in his ass and Higgins would find it. And…(gulps) eat of it.

  384. W. T. F.

  385. He is the wind and the sky

  386. *raises hand and calls first dibs on wiser’s banhammer to Chumpo*

  387. Chumpo has people.

    He should check out my Soylent Green poat over at the recipe blog.

  388. wait… Higgins was gay??!?!

    #shockedface

  389. Hey everyone, have some rage:

    http://countercurrentnews.com/2014/12/conspiracy-theory-suggests-nypd-trying-drum-up-support/#

    This crap popped up on my newsfeed posted by a person who was really gung-ho over the whole Michael Brown thing. I wish to shake this person.

  390. I TOLD YOU IT WAS SALACIOUS111

  391. Last chance for everyone to potty break and refill cocktails (or Dr Pepper’s) before the gift opening poat!

  392. The fears that once controlled him, can’t get to him at all.

  393. *raises hand and calls first dibs on wiser’s banhammer to Chumpo*

    *tosses Cyn the key to the closet

  394. It’s time to see what he can do
    To test the limits and break through

  395. I wish to shake this person.

    I have a baseball bat you can shake him/her with.

  396. No right, no wrong, no rules for he, he’s freeeee!

  397. I missed Soylent Green, and made split pea soup instead.

  398. *Makes a rum themed drink and shakes package one last time.*

  399. He’s never going back!

    The past is in the past!!

  400. Come to the new poat!

  401. actually, I’m just gonna stay here and watch the gif for the rest of the night….

  402. WTF? I was celebrating Cat In the Cradle’s 40th anniversary at #1 and you fucks were getting all fuckity.

  403. bcoch, they’re in NY. And they’re certifiable, what with the fact that when I went to school with this person they were female, but this is apparently no longer the case according to them.


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS