MMM 153: Happy Birthday to Me

‘sup, broheims?  I turn 39 today.  Real 39, not fake 39 like some people.

Also, Mrs. Caruthers is pregnant enough that I feel safe saying so.  Keep us and Li’l Caruthers in your prayers.

So since it’s my birthday and I’m in a good mood, I’m going to skimp even more than usual on verbage and just do a ton of pictures.

Yoga is a sex cult.

I don’t know how she works out with shorts that tight, but I’m willing to spend countless hours researching it until I get to the bottom of that mystery.
This isn’t – strictly speaking a fitness image. It does feature athletic socks and raise testosterone levels, however. Also there’s a bunz and oven joke to be made here.
Again, countless hours of research to get to the bottom.
I’ve got 10 months to get myself able to do this.
There’s a koch near her butt.
Tasteful B&W.
Posing practice.
Interesting sports bra.
*makes plans to visit safer parts of Messico*
This one is not for everyone, but I like it. That glance over the shoulder is saucy.
Dirty ballet quads.
And that’ll do it for this week. Have an excellent Monday, folks.


  1. Happy birthday, leon!

  2. Happy birthday, and congratulations.

    I got you one of these:

  3. Funny how a 1″ strip of Lycra turns a disgusting porno shot into a fitness shot.

  4. We need to define “disgusting” versus art.

  5. Congrats, leon! We’re the same age now, although you are still taller by about 2 feet.


  7. leon and taller in the same sentence.


  8. I got you one of these:

    You are so thoughtful.

    Funny how a 1″ strip of Lycra turns a disgusting porno shot into a fitness shot.

    I believe prior MMM poats have explicitly thanked the inventor of Lycra for precisely this reason.

    Thanks guys. All I know right know the baby has a beating heart and is due next June. We had some scares this first 6 weeks or so and I didn’t want to say anything until we were more sure.

  9. PG, if you’re talking about oven-thong girl, I actually agree. That one is really on the line for me too.

  10. Did I miss anything funny yesterday?

  11. Huh. Oven Thong girl looks a lot like GND.

  12. Congrats, Leon.

  13. Huh. Oven Thong girl looks a lot like GND.

    See? People finally start to like you and you have to go and say shit like this.

  14. Congratulations to Lean and Mrs. Leon.

  15. Congrats Leon!

    And double congrats. You posted some actual women this week.

  16. Great news on the bambino Leon. News that made me smile.

  17. Congratulations Leon and Mrs. Leon!

  18. Thanks again. When we got the positive result I started writing a “book” for the little one. Basically a series of letters about everything I want to tell him or her as a young adult that I might not remember or be around to talk about when the time comes.

    Handwritten, ink on paper, just in case. I won’t even tell them about it until the day they receive it. I figure it’ll be a nice thing to get someday.

  19. I have some good advice too:

    Learn how to take off a chick’s bra without stopping to think about it.

  20. I’m waiting until we know the sex to give the specific advice on that sorta stuff.

  21. “Breast is best”

  22. Congrats leon, glad your hard work has paid off.

    And what do you mean, find out the sex first? Are you already gay bashing? *calls child protective services.

  23. I’m waiting until we know the sex to give the specific advice on that sorta stuff.

    Based on the way modern culture is going, it’s probably be more useful to your daughter than to your son.

  24. Include a recipe for that bacon thing.

  25. it’ll

  26. Include a recipe for that bacon thing.

    I figure that’s something I can teach in person, but it might not be a bad idea.

  27. The intent is to fill it with critical stuff in case I’m dead, really, so Bacon Explosion fits the bill.

  28. “Never trust a fart”

    – Things Random Guy would put in the book

  29. Happy birthday, Leon. I got you some yoga pants.

  30. Thanks Jew. Looks like she squats. I approve.

  31. And that’s exciting news. Confetti!


  33. HB Leon and big congratulations to you and Mrs. Caruthers!

  34. Happy birthday and congrats. Love the snow…the pics are nice too.

  35. I turned off the snow at some point last year and don’t remember how to get it back, which is fine with me.

    Too much snow last year, I couldn’t deal with it here also.

  36. Learn how to take off a chick’s bra without stopping to think about it.

    More advice: Never get invovled in a land war in Asia. Never bet against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

  37. Don’t squat with yer spurs on.

  38. If she’s an 8 hot, but only a 2 crazy, she’s a tranny.

  39. Beware the tuckers.

  40. Leon, HBD and congratulations!!!

  41. If she’s an 8 hot, but only a 2 crazy, she’s a tranny.

    Or you just haven’t found the other 4-8 points of crazy yet.

  42. I’d also assert that the base level for crazy in a tranny doesn’t even start at 2.

  43. The post office was nuts this morning.

  44. He shoots, he scores!!!

    Good job, amigo. Also, happy birthday.

  45. Perpandicular to teh signpost girl has an impressive cock.

  46. Comment by Mr. Chumpo on December 15, 2014 11:44 am

    He shoots, he scores!!!

    I’m picturing Leon running down the street shouting “MY BOYS CAN SWIM!!!!”

  47. Awwww! Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Caruthers!

    *starts knitting a tiny set of barbells*


  49. Congrats to you and Mrs. Leon, and a very happy birthday. It’s been too long since the last H2 baby.

  50. Congrats to you and Mrs. Leon, and a very happy birthday. It’s been too long since the last H2 baby.

    It’s only been a couple of months since T.I.T.S. give it some more time.

  51. Crazy at my little town post office too Scott.

  52. H2 Baby Shower!

    What could go wrong?

  53. Sit on a happy face!


  55. I’m picturing Leon running down the street shouting “MY BOYS CAN SWIM!!!!”

    We tested those, they were fine, that’s why it was so hard to get here :(

  56. Happy B’Day and congrats on the addition to the family, Leon!

  57. So, guess we need to start coming up with baby names.

  58. You are too late to that discussion, XBad.

  59. Buchethed J. Caruthers

  60. If it’s a girl, I think you should name her Michelle.

  61. The Mrs already shot me down on Boniface and Polycarp.

  62. Swivlenech M. Caruthers

  63. Veinitia Caruthers. Could call her Veiny for short.

  64. Are you saying Leon’s kid is gonna be short?

  65. She Might be Giant(s), Spurt. Nature is a Mad Scientist.

  66. Tucker Caruthers

  67. What did you get for your Birthday, Leon?

  68. Probably will have a beard and carry an axe. To the mines.

  69. No presents yet, Chumpo.

  70. Seven.

  71. Why not Eight?

  72. No child of mine will ever be named Seven!

  73. Oh hi, Kitten. How’s kix?

  74. Longrod VonHugendong Caruthers

    (it is a custom in some German families to name the firstborn male child after the mother’s imaginary friend)

  75. Kix be kickin’.

  76. I wish my name was Luther.

    Mr. L. Chumpwad IV

  77. Chumpwad? You’re a ‘wad?


  78. Tyshychondriniqua Anshit Caruthers. In case she moves to Detroit as an adult.

  79. I probably should denounce myself here before long.

  80. You must be a Capulet.

    That’s too bad.

  81. You doubted for a second that Chumpo was a wad?

  82. He should get all fancy and come up with a name where the dash don’t be silent.

  83. PG, we considered some extremely “black-sounding” names that we thought would at least help with getting job interviews.

  84. Tyrone, Cassius, Tiberius, etc.

  85. I’m still sore about her turning down Polycarp.

  86. Horatius Caruthers.

  87. I said no to Horatio.


  88. Shazaam Wil Wheaton Caruthers

  89. How ’bout Very Barry Husein in ‘da Membrane Caruthers?


  91. I’d be hesitant to shoot that shotgun after all the workmanship that went into it.

  92. Nice film. I like Bereta Shotguns. I shot them exclusively in the good old trap days. I still want one badly.

  93. I can’t imagine what that particular one would cost.

  94. I think I found it, it’s a Imperial Montecarlo and only costs $130,000.

  95. I used to see them running north of $200K. If you can imagine that? The crazy part is that in this particular shop there were at least two dozen of them. Thats a lot of inventory. I was in Sun Valley ID in those days.


  97. I saw a DeLorean yesterday. How much do you suppose you could get for building replicas of those? I bet the rights are buyable.

  98. Then again, I bet they aren’t even legal to sell anymore.

  99. Congratulations on not dying for another year, leon.

  100. As for the DeLorean rights, you have to pay in cocaine.

  101. I saw a Mazda TR7, hadn’t seen one of those in a long long time.

  102. Didn’t that Pupster chap we used to see around here have some kind of Mazda Go-Kart?

  103. Toyota MR2 aka Baby Ferrari

  104. My SS package has arrived, I hope it is an accordion because that is the shape of the box.

  105. This is like a badge that reads “douchebag”

  106. That gif reminds me…my SS gift has arrived too. It came from amazon so there is absolutely no clue as to where it came from. Dammit!

  107. This here blerg would be more fun with some Browns fans.

  108. I think you mean Triumph TR7.

  109. Aggie fans make the video of The Deuce more fun too.

  110. I just received my SS gift as well. The plot thickens.

  111. Yep. That’s what I meant. I friend of mine had one for a couple years. He blew 2 or 3 motors in that piece of crap.

  112. Toyota has a bit more reliability and longevity than Triumph.


  113. SQUEEEE!!!!!!!! Congratulations, Carutherses! And Happy Birthday, Leon ♥♥♥

    Also, Happy Birthday, Michael!

  114. If it’s a boy, ya gonna name him Tyrion?
    He’d be just abour the right size…..

    *runs away*

  115. Heh. Triumph is the Poor Man’s RUSH. I remember teasing Triumph fans to no end. Thanks for the memories Buffalode.

  116. The day I met Laura’s dad he wanted me to take his Triumph for a spin. He was insisting, but I refused because I didn’t want it to die while I was behind the wheel.

    So Laura drove, and it died.

  117. I don’t know your reference, Teresa, but if it’s a short joke you really ought to leave the glass house first.

  118. WTF?? That sounded like a kitty cat had Geddy Lee caught by the testicles.

  119. Had a neighbor that had a TR6. Now that was a spiffy little car.

  120. Nick-Nack Caruthers.

  121. Rush


  122. Dad’s toy is a TR6. And it is fun to drive, when it is in shape. He has a thing about British vehicles.

    Dad just rebuilt his Land Rover (original new purchase in 1972) over the last five years so the TR is probably neglected again now.

    NOBODY had a Land Rover back then. I remember riding home from the beach as a tired wee little kid on the side-bench seats in the back. The ride in back was rough. If we didn’t hold on hard, my sister and I bounced from the seats to the roof, and arrived bruised to every destination.

  123. Good times.


  124. Castille Caruthers

  125. Ok, last exam first thing tomorrow am. Got to stop screwing off. Last push.

    *walks off, pumping fist in air*

    *not a symbolic show of force; actually fighting off invisible air-sloths*

  126. My dad bought a Land Cruiser for towing the trailer for Boy Scout camping trips. It looked a bit like this one:

    I used to commute to college with it occasionally so it didn’t sit idle. I knew every off road trail between my home and my college and had to run it through the car wash to avoid getting caught. My brother got it after he resigned as scoutmaster and drove it for another 10 years or so before selling it.

  127. Kick ass LW.

    One of my friends in HS had a land rover, painted it zebra stripes ala Daktari.

  128. Here, laura. This stuff prolly works on invisible air-sloths:

  129. We got the Rich Land rover kids ’round the blog ‘eh? Nice. I rode to school in a Gold Ford Futura. Once. It was too cheep to have a model year. It had a Triumph Tape stuck in the Lo Fi.

    The next day I woke up early and took the city bus to school.

  130. Jimbro, those old FJ 40s are prized. People are willing to shell out mega bucks for even dilapidated ones.

  131. FFS. Who let the invisible flying sloths out again?

    It took me 9 days to catch those bastards.

    They move soooo fucking slow the flying invisible sloth bait went bad. Twice.

  132. It was a sweet truck Tushar, rode like a tank. I’m sure my brother got the right price when he eventually sold it. When I saw the new version I was tempted but they’re nothing like the old ones.

  133. The next day I woke up early and took the city short bus to school.


  134. Woah woah woah. Tushar (good to see you) You are talking Toyota. Jimebro is showing Rang Rover. Tighten it up.

  135. The bus was short, yes. I was the only kid with out a helmet, yes.

  136. It used to be popular to drop a small block V8 into the old FJ Land Cruisers.

  137. I had to look it up myself Mr Chumpo. With Land Rover, Range Rover and Land Cruiser it’s a bit confusing. It was a Land Cruiser made by Toyota. I remember how my dad’s pronunciation of Toyota sounded so odd. He’s a Mick, straight off the plane to Boston, arriving at the age 26. He said Toyota as Tye-ota.

  138. I dropped a small block V8 into your mom.

  139. Looks like I grouped Jimebros post with Buff’s picture. ma’h bad. Lo siento.

  140. >>>I dropped a small block V8 into your mom.

  141. Mr. Chumpo, I have promised myself: my next vehicle will be a Land Rover Discovery (LR4) if I can afford it. If I can’t afford it, my next vehicle will be a Toyota 4 Runner. If I cannot afford that either, I will drive my Toyota Rav4 into my grave.

  142. Go with the Toyota.

  143. Nothing good has come out of England in decades.

  144. V 8 tomorrow. 4.4 liter, 400 hp.


  145. Scott, if you go to the parts of the world where roads are non existent, the only vehicles you see are Land Rovers and Toyotas. When it comes to performance and reliability, no one beats Toyota, but Land Rovers are not slouches.

  146. Your mom is adventurous.

  147. Nothing made in the UK is known for quality.
    They are known for things that need a new engine every year.

  148. FIL’s TR6 has a bumper sticker that says ” All of the parts falling off of this car are of the finest British quality.”

  149. Aston Martin is a fine car. If you have 300k.

  150. Scott, Land Rover and Jaguar are now owned by an Indian company. Not sure if that is an improvement or downgrade quality wise.

  151. If it’s made in England it sucks.

    Stick with Japan, Germany and USA.

  152. Dad rebuilt the Rover, bolts to bonnet. He had a new engine from the UK sitting in a crate in his front yard for a long time. He had a new chassis sitting there, too. Then he busted a move- slowly- and rebuilt, rewired, and reattached every last little thing, saving some old stuff, replacing some old stuff. Last time I visited he let me drive the ‘new-old’ Rover from the back shed to the front tree. It was pretty awesome. Nothing sounds like this thing when it roars and grumbles. Nothing.

  153. My dad had a little MG sedan in the early 70s. Total POS, constantly fucking with that thing just to keep it running.

    He pulled up after work one night and it died in the driveway, a little smoke coming out from under the hood. He just looked at it and said “burn you motherfucker, burn to the ground”.



  156. “If it’s made in England it sucks.”

    That’s a little harsh. I really liked my 750 Bonneville(Spelling-check is fcuked-up), and the two Lotus Elans were fun, well, except for things like total electrical failure on a starless night at 100mph on I-5.
    It was *really* dark when the headlights went out.
    Lucas, the “Prince of Darkness”, strikes again…

  157. It’s raining.

    Doesn’t often rain on my birthday. Really weird.

  158. scott on December 15, 2014 at 8:56 pm
    Nothing good has come out of England in decades.

    Boy George?

  159. Boy George came out in England. Not from England.

    And I’d argue against him being any good.

    I’m with Scott. I detest the English. I’d rather hang out with French Monarchists.

  160. I also agree w scott. I would get a Land Cruiser 80 or 100.

  161. Did anybody tell anybody else that the whole celebrating Festivus thing was kinda cute for a year or two, but that it was time to give it a rest today?

  162. Festivus is a better “holiday” than Kwanzaa.

    Low bar, but it clears it.

  163. Oh, the day after Christmas is a holiday this year for the military. Supposedly because it’s a the day after Christmas. By Executive Order of 0bama.


  164. Bedtime.

  165. *cocktails and debriefs*

    I’m pouring – who wants what?

  166. Anytime Christmas falls on a Thursday, the next day is always a day off for the military.

  167. I see Chicago is getting their asses beat again.

    Fuggin’ Bears.

  168. Why wouldn’t they get the day off if it fell on a Tuesday?

  169. If you’re pourin’, I’m drinkin’.

  170. Usually if Christmas falls on a Tuesday, you get Monday off.

    If it’s on a Wednesday, you’re fucked.

  171. Well, it is hump day.


  172. Mom’s (hopefully) only got one more day in the hospital and then they’re going to transfer her to a rehab facility to work on leg strength. She was supposed to get an MRI today to see why she still has incredible pain in the left hip (that’s where the cancer metted to but the radiation should have resolved this). They’re worried that it may be a fracture that the x-ray is not picking up.

  173. Well, that’s progress. I wish it was better, but every little bit helps.

  174. Cocktails?

  175. Every little bit fo sho.

    Here’s hoping that Xmom has recovered fully from her procedure and that the news remains good for her.

  176. *pours a little sumpin for Mr. Chumporooski*

  177. Here’s to the mothers.
    *raises my old glass of bruised rum*

    eh little help here.

  178. Thanx Toots.

    Heres to the Madres!

  179. YOUR MOM!!

    / :)

  180. *raises glass*

    To the Madres.

  181. It’s traditional for the military to give soldiers a day off on Friday or Monday if a holiday falls on a Thurs or Tuesday. Basically all Obama did was acknowledge that nothing actually gets done that Friday since most government employees end up taking the day off. Even if they all showed up for work, you’d basically be paying them to fuck around for eight hours, since soldiers would have a four-day weekend and most units go to minimal staffing from mid-Dec to January 5th.

  182. Here here!

    So, Bonita. What are the particulars re the SS present opening extravaganza? Actually I will settle for a time and date as I seem to be missing an email to the effect.

  183. We usually do it the Sunday before Christmas. I think I threw out a time of 9pm Eastern. Take a pic of your stuff and send me the pic; I’ll throw your pic into the Official SS Gift Opening Poat. Easy Peasy.

  184. Thank ye. I should take a pic of the opened gift or the package?

  185. The opened gift.

    Here’s last year’s poat to give you an idear or two:

  186. Thank you, Cyn. I can now see for miles. Have a glass of Blanc de Noir on Moi.

  187. Feel free to try to guess who gave you your gift, or a thank you to the person if you know who.

    My SS gift arrived the other day but Googleman was expecting a package of the same size/shape and opened the outer envelope. He and his father taped it back closed and let me know what happened. I’m being good and have not opened it yet.

  188. Merci, mon chere!

  189. I just finished a Coke Zero. No Diet Dr Pepper here at work. That’s life.

  190. Wow, dude. Do you get like a medal for surviving that?

  191. Nope. No hazard pay or anything, either. I should go on strike.

  192. **burns down random driving range in solidarity**

  193. And you want to travel with her,
    And you want to travel blind,
    And you know that she will derp you,
    For you’ve touched her perfect body with your mind.

  194. *has a Dt. Dr. Pepper drum circle for Sean.

  195. wakey wakey.

    busy day today.

  196. Is there anything worth reading in this poat upthread?

    I’ve got plumbing issues, and crackfat and christmas shopping to do.

  197. I got my ss package yesterday.

  198. Look on the bright side, you have a NEW POAT to wakey on tomorrow.

  199. Early Thor

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