That time dad gutshot Dancer. Or was it Prancer? I forget.
Lambs? Bitch, please.
And can anyone tell me why the light-nose makes that whistling noise? It’s been bugging me for decades.
Merry Christmas, ya goofs.
December 13, 2014
Categories: American Hero, Your mom likes this . . Author: Andy
193 Comments
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The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
04/25/17
I wrote to Hillary Clinton when she was the First Lady. Here is copy…
Dear Mrs. Clinton,
If you’d give President Clinton a blow job once in a while he wouldn’t put a cigar in a ladies (my mommy calls her a whore whatever that is) hooha.
Sincerely,
Mare
Prove I didn’t send that to her.
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
New poat? Sad that no one else is awake.
Must’ve been a hell of a night. Either that or it’s bacon:30.
“on call”
I wakeyed. I don’t know what the problem is.
First!!!
Sad.
It’s probably the goddamned blog snow keeping them away.
(reiterates half-decade old complaint)
you call this a poat?
Good morning cool kids and Andy.
it moved
Only a little.
Had to take Mom to the hospital ER yesterday at 11:30 am: fluid retention and swelling in her legs was just getting out of control and with only one kidney (they took the other due to cancer five years ago), it was a big-fukksized-deal. They admitted her (hopefully only for a day or two) and she was NOT happy. This was definitely not the best chemo drug for her the last three weeks. I left there last night at 9:00 pm after getting her a few things from home and making sure that they got her the meds she needed to be comfortable.
Okay, I’m off to appointments that I’d rescheduled due to taking care of her for the last two or so weeks and then off to visit her.
*sniff sniff*
Also, a reminder to all you iceholes and snowflake haters:
*****Get Your SS gift out the door ASAP*****
Later cool kids and wiser.
*blows a kiss to Hawtspurt*
Later cool kids and wiser.
Cyn gives the best drive-bys…..
Pack all of the things!
Spend all of the money!
I’ve got nothing.
Actually, I do.
Apply another coat of poly to bookcase. Hopefully I didn’t f*ck it up after 320ing the other one.
Polyurethane? Adam Carolla calls it Bitchathane.
SS gift was priority-mailed after we had breakfast in Ypsi.
There must have been several hundred gallons of water that drained from our backyard yesterday. The Los Angeles local rainfall counter nearest to us showed 3.65 inches in the last 24 hours.
That was actually 2.65 inches; still, freaking wet.
<3" of rain?
If that had happened here there wouldn't even be puddles.
When your drainage isn’t set to handle it, it’s messy. I had to snake out one subterranean drain with a garden hose. There were several potato chip size or larger pieces of deteriorating something or other that lined the drain. This was one of the old drains that we had not yet replaced. Who knows how long it has been in the ground.
It was weird watching the main drainage low point in our yard go from just wet to 5 inches deep of water in about 15 minutes. I guess the good news is our backyard all drains to one point.
Besides, it only needed three inches approximately of rain to trigger some mudslides that red-tagged several houses maybe ten miles from here.
It’s a shame it couldn’t be snow for a gradual melt. Are the mountain areas getting snow from all this weather?
http://tinyurl.com/l8l5jo4
George, if one of those mudslide houses falls down on yours, you’ll own TWO houses!
I immortalized in Photoshop a few of the good Chick/War movie ideas from yesterday’s thread:
This one comes to us from beyond the grave. it’s the product of our long dead Genius, Geo. Orwell.
http://tinyurl.com/l24azey
The next item up for bids rattle out of the mind of Wiser. (It’s like the Mind of Minolta only worse.)
http://tinyurl.com/nj4m6xs
Third and fourth are from XB and yours truly respectively.
http://tinyurl.com/n48jeke
http://tinyurl.com/o3mdj3z
Also a bonus image that hasn’t been a crowd fav, but I think is funny.
That is all from the graphics dept.
Tanks fer nutchin’, Danny!
SS gift out the door.
The lucky Hostage should get it by Friday.
Won’t be home for the reveal, I have to commute to Chicago Sunday afternoon for a trip that leaves early Monday am.
I’ll have to open early and take a pic. Should be online for the big ‘reveal’.
Whomever sent me my gift, it arrived. I hope it isn’t fragile, cuz the delivery guy tossed it about 40 feet over the gate to the front door.
My packing job was lackluster, but the gift was something I’d have enjoyed, so I have no regrets. It’s unlikely to break.
Fact.
Xbad
I just put up about 30 pictures of aircraft on my Flickr page. If you want to use any for a blog post at your place feel free. I also have several of the same plane if something strikes your fancy I may have additional shots of it.
I visited 2 museums when I was in Dallas. Love Field and Cunningham I think
Thanks, Vman. But I seem to have lost the link to your flickr.
Here you are
https://www.flickr.com/photos/vmaximus/
After the aircraft there are skyline pics the Texas book depository building and all of the area where JFK was killed and dinosaur bones
I have seen few wooden Indians before, but never a wooden woman
Must be white privilege
oops how did that happen?
Those are some nice pics, Vman.
I took a bunch of that recon turboprop it was so ugly I could not help myself
i forgot the Phantom they had cool one
It’s racist to force a wooden Indian chief to dress up as a fiberglass white woman.
However, if it were a male Indian dressed as an Indian squaw, that would be a celebration of transgender tolerance and a rebuke of oppressive patriarchy.
That’s an OV-1 Mohawk. Other than looking a bit like a penis, it’s a pretty good plane.
That’s a snappy F-104. Plus, what a wacky flying disc.
What plane looks like a vagina? I’m asking for a feminist friend.
Vmax,
That would have been the OV-1 Mohawk. Damn that was an ugly airplane.
Saw them flying out of Ft. Huachuca, AZ back in the late ’80’s, early ’90’s.
Loved the pics of the F-105. Originally thought the ‘TH’ tail flash was Takhli AB, Thailand, but I think it’s Terre Haute, ID from the ANG.
At least that’s the same tail flash their F-16’s have now.
The F-104 was cool. When I was at the Air Force Academy I walked by the StarFighter (best airplane name EVER) every day for four years. Every time I passed it always thought what an awesome jet that would be to fly.
Basically a Big Ass Jet engine with minimal pilot guidance.
Thanks for the pics.
Actually Air Force One looks like a vagina, however that is only on account of the guy riding in it.
I was in love with the 104 as a kid. I thought it was the most awesome plane ever. A missile with a man in it.
the phantom
http://www.flickr.com/photos/vmaximus/16013206782/
The Phantom:
http://tinyurl.com/mp7y32a
Wow got to sit inside one, who did you bribe?
One way to make money charge for a pic
They have Open Cockpit Saturday at PSAM. Regular admission to the musuem is like $15, then for an additional $5, you get your pic in the cockpit.
I misremembered it was Cavanaugh flight museum
You are an excellent photographer, Vman. Do you use a Nikon?
Holy crap! This piece of shit poat is still up?
Nice pic. When I was growing up in middle GA in the 70s/80s, Phantoms overflew our school all the time. Not sure where they were from, but it was a regular route. The Sound of Freedom was always accompanied by a big smoke trail.
What’s up, bishes?
Studying for my final on Wednesday. Kill me nao.
Laura is almost done, she’s only got one more exam.
Greetings, misers of heat.
Yes Mr Chumpo, it is a D7100
Second coat of Bitchathane on the bookcase, done. First coat on shelves.
Tomorrow is supposed to be in the high 50s. Maybe I can finish this thing before the rain moves in.
I H8TE the light sanding part between coatses.
Also, not sure if I like the halogen work light. Damn that thing gets hot (250w).
Hey Scott, do you know anything about the LED worklight?
I H8 working during Army/Navy game. Oh well, I was able to watch the final 2 minutes and the post-game traditional singing. I forget which year they cut back to the studio and got nailed by the viewers.
Nope. Laura might.
LED pads are fantastic. Aquarists use them on coral tanks because they provide the proper illumination without heating the water like halogen does.
Damn, WTF happened to the price of eggs lately? We were at $1 a dozen for a long time, now it’s $2.97.
Sequester.
I was gonna guess fracing too.
This kung pao chicken is fantastic. Nice crisp veggies, and just spicy enough to light up your tongue, but not overpowering.
GLOBAL WARMING KILLS CHICKENS!
has anyone seen 47 Ronin? Is it worth my time? Movie of the week on HBO.
Last time we had $1 eggs was probably in the 80’s.
This is all the more scandalous because the Koch Bros. refuse to pay their chickens a Living Wage.
OCCUPY FOSTER FARMS!!!
Mmmm…I love Kung Pao CHKN. Haven’t seen 47 Ronin.
I KNEW IT! It’s the Koch’s fault.
California is why your eggs cost more.
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2014-12-12/egg-market-disrupted-by-bigger-cages-boosting-price-commodities.html
Last night, I told Dan to wait for my text so I could pick up a few things. He was thinking fem hygiene. I came out with Cheetos, biscochitos, and tequila.
Eggs are that much more expensive out east? Another reason to withstand the cold out here in flyover country.
Biscuits Chicos? Bleargh.
Holy shit, $4.49 a dozen in CA? I’d starve out there.
Eggs are $3.50, if you want jumbo or organic you can spend $5.50.
Hahaha I like Biscuit Chicos!
I wonder how much jumbo, organic, free range, fair trade eggs cost?
I bet an ostrich is cheaper.
$4.56 for 36 eggs at my Club. $21 for 15 dozen.
Those are our bestsellers. We have organic? and some other boutique eggs.
BTW we finally have pepperoni back in stock. Pepperoni is stabilizing.
Those are probably from China, and full of lead.
Back in August my wife decided we needed to take a couple of little tomcat kittens off of a friend’s litter. Now they’re about half grown and when they decide they need to be petted, they bygod get petted. They crawl up on your ass and start snuggling until you either pet them or throw their asses out. I just through their asses out.
I bet I could eat 15 dozen eggs.
I hate to admit this cause it makes me sound like a 1%er but I never look at prices except on meat. I guess that’s what happens when after two decades of feeding four your back to feeding only two.
I only eat organic, locally-sourced platypus eggs. Sure, they taste awful and cost an arm and a leg, but I’m in it for the hipster cred when they take off and people who are slightly less cool than I am start eating them.
I never looked at food prices until Obama.
We are now spending half of what we were.
The top story at the HQ is about the perils of giving to a charity only to have your mailbox get the shit kicked out of by spam from every other charity in the western world for the next several years.
Reminds me of about 15 years ago I gave $100 to a big orphanage up in the panhandle called Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch at Christmas time. It’s a fantastic organization but for the next two to three years I got solicitations from every orphanage and homeless shelter in America.
After that I started enclosing a note with my check that says basically that if I receive any spam solicitations from similar institutions that indicates that they’ve sold my contact information, that this will be the last penny they ever get from me. So far it works.
Yes, I’ve seen that too. Gave to Shop with a Cop, now I cannot get rid of the emails and the calls.
Eggs are pricier due to all the new diapering regulations.
All my charitable money goes to my church and Cure Search through Sheridan’s foundation. My Dad used our address for his charitable $$$. He’s been dead for 5 years and we still get mail for him.
Nice callback, Jimbo.
D’oh. I just got the Jimbro comment. (Starts to go easy on the tequila)
My eggs are about $2/dozen.
$3.99 for 18 large brown eggs, not organic or free range. Probably covered with chicken shit.
Local police fraternal organization called me every year at my store for donations. I guess the previous owner had donated at some point. Can’t remember if I ever did, but if so it was probably right when I first bought the place. I seem to recall finding out at some point that it wasn’t really the local cops themselves calling, but some union rent-a-fundraiser type thing that pretended to be the cops themselves. I guess I don’t really know how it works.
Anyway. This same guy called every year. Abrasive asshole with a gritty Jersey accent, and always overtly haranguing and hassling me like it was a fucking extortionary shakedown. Which it probably was.
I kept saying no and he kept calling back and got nastier and more sarcastic every time. Piece of crap.
4.50 – 4.99 for 30 large el cheapo store brand eggs. Sometimes they are 3.99 on sale.
I used to get the fancy 1/2 dozen organic free-range jumbos back when we had money. They did taste fantastic. Oh well.
My parents were tempted to donate to a police charity until I pointed out that the Brown County Sheriff’s Office wasn’t likely to have a phone number with a Missouri area code.
lauraw, I H8 the Cops for Kids calls. I live in a kind of affluent area of ABQ. Kids leave their coats in parks and school playgrounds all the time. I’m not saying they end up in KOATS for KIDs sponsored by KOAT, but I’m saying.
A few years ago, Dan took some of my toys and donated them to the Marines and Toys for Tots. The Marines may have sold some of my collectibles on eBay and used the proceeds to buy toys. Mint condition. In the box. Totes not bitter.
Wounded Warrior Project gets my donations.
You’re a good man, Jimbro. Rayciss, but a good guy.
Scott informs me that our 30-pk of eggs that I usually get for less than $5 was 6.99 the last time he saw them. Which means a major increase happened in just the last couple weeks or so.
SONAVA-
The thing that I hate is when some organization asks you for money, you say no, and then they ask if they can send you some information. Then, they send you some kind of bullshit “pledge” in the mail and keep harassing you like they’re collecting on a debt when you don’t send them any dough in what they consider a timely enough fashion. Fuck that noise.
Hahaha, Long Duc Dong is in 47 Ronin!
Mr Chumpo has some major talent with his movie posters. Great, now I have to watch 47 Ronin.
OMG Sean has been stealing my mail from Susan G Komen.
The convenience store I get coffee at most mornings is asking for donations for some outfit. I gave $2 the first time and have to keep reminding them every fucking day going forward that I’ve already given my fucking $2 and that’s all they’re fucking getting from me. They seem to take it pretty well.
I like my Sam’s Club coffee from my coffee pot in the morning.
PG needs to go to Sam’s Club in May when we are driving for Children’s Miracle Network. We used to have a wishing well for kids to drop change year round, but our Group Leader thought it looked “Tacky”. $1K a month in change. We are hoping she gets promoted soon. Paki American from Cali.
I average 2 pieces of Catholic charity mail a day.
I have a lifetime supply of notepads and return address labels, though.
I usually buy a shamrock, and I’ll help the firemen fill the boot, but that’s it.
And the hair people, but there don’t seem to be many solicitations for hair.
Running out of address labels and DAV cards.
“…the hair people…”
http://tinyurl.com/olg6jlr
Stupid ending.
California is why your eggs cost more.
Ours is 2.99/dzn for the Eggland’s Best and Full Circle organic brand. Two-something for the store brand eggs.
I’ve been seeing more cracked eggs and poop remnants in the past year or two.
Hahaha Cousin It.
I give to St. Jude’s several times a year via the mailers….and they still call me every damn day (I never answer as I’ve told them before I don’t pledge money over the phone).
I’m allergic to eggs. Seems to be worse if I eat stuff with eggs as opposed to eating an egg. I take my chances and wait. Epi pens are my friends.
Or are these the Hair people?
http://tinyurl.com/ocojlnb
Dan is watching Lone Survivor. I cry from start to finish. Gave my $ at box office, but couldn’t watch. Have the book.
Hair is my hippie pleasure. I can sing every song. And I do so.
Gross.
Did anybody have to remind anybody else that a certain state law precludes them from handing out “free hug coupons” as Christmas gifts today?
I saw it at the theater, Oso. I may never watch it again.
Hey, yeah, as far as donations go: https://www.fisherhouse.org/
Year in, year out.
http://www.philanthropyroundtable.org/almanac/hall_of_fame/zachary_fisher
I have never seen Hair. I did have a date guy force me to watch Hairspray. But I slept through most of it.
Andy, fisherhouse is awesome. I can’t watch Lone Survivor. My heart says that a Lion of Fallujah or a Rick Rescorla pic would be awesome, but I could never watch them. Hollywood says let’s watch Fury!
Original Hairspray? We used to make athletes watch movies at the Sub with us. West Side Story was fun.
PJ O’Rourke has a funny one
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/12/13/up-to-a-point-they-made-me-write-about-lena-dunham.html
Lone Survivor was hard to watch, knowing the story.
Jay, I bitched and bitched that Hollywood didn’t show the real heroes in the war on terror, and I can’t watch when they do. Doug Zembiec.
Wounded Warrior Project gets my donations.
Not really a fan. They seem to spend an awful lot on overhead.
Thanks, Vman, I love PJ. And I’m convinced that Girls is an elaborate form of trolling, since it’s the only show I’ve ever seen where my constant thought is how happy I would be if every single character died in a fire.
Scott, I need a fact check:
I laughed Sean, he still has it
G’night. 5AM shifts are too early.
I watched an episode of Girls once. I’ve never watched such unappealing fuck scenes in my life. That includes watching me and my 53 yo spouse in the mirror.
*plans to have mirrors removed from bedroom before hitting 50*
blech! That image left an after taste in my brain.
http://www.eyebleach.com/
LOL, Chumpo.
Hi, Ms Beasn. How goes the book cases?
Gabe update:
He was feeling better this afternoon. I m only supposed to let him walk a few steps, but he wants back to normal. Normal is way too much for him. So I have 29 days of keeping him calm.
Damn heart worms and damn ignorant cheap dog owners that don’t bother to prevent the nastiness.
Wow. A friend of mine who has trouble getting her shit together (drugs, mostly) posted this on facechimp in response to some stupid video from Buzzfeed:
I hope somebody punches Gabe’s previous owner in the dick, Vman.
I agree with Pendejo. I saw an episode, and it was truly awful. Headless chickens flopping about in the yard are more appealing than Girls.
A Very Ke$ha Christmas
Wow, some people get it, Sean. We need some in the GOP leadership.
“you’re”
/hotspur
The movie “Camel Spiders” is on now.
/Public Service Announcement
Happy Birthday, Michael!
*moves Jay to the top of the list*
“Camel Spiders II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold” is one of those sequels that’s better than the original.
Jeebus! Do you know how bad that deer smells?
“you’re”
/hotspur
Forget it, she’s rolling.
Did you fall for the smell my finger joke too, Andy?
So, when they show a door in a spider movie that is locked, and show it again, and make a menacing sounds, that’s foreshadowing, right?
Look, Andy, the deer may smell of rotting flesh and poop, but it still smells better than Lena Dunham.
There’s no big name actors in this movie (well, C. Thomas Howell, but come on!), and I haven’t seen any boobies yet. Not even a bad sex scene.
I feel ripped off.
>> Look, Andy, the deer may smell of rotting flesh and poop, but it still smells better than Lena Dunham.
Low bar
Jay,
How far are you from Des Moines? Have a layover there later this month.
Been a while since I’ve been there. Last time there was a farm convention at the hotel. I now know more about soybeans and Pioneer seed than any any man should have to know.
Also, a few Philly layovers around the holidays. Do we have any Hostages there?
There’s no big name actors in this movie (well, C. Thomas Howell, but come on!)
Brad Pitt was supposed to play that role, but he had a scheduling conflict.
The trajectory of C. Thomas Howell’s career makes me think he might vote republican.
He cut back on acting to become a plutocrat?
blerg
I was really fricken busy today.
I work in Des Moines every day. I am 30 miles north.
Let me know when you’re gonna be here.
What’s the soup of the day?
Russ from Winterset is also close.
He cut back on acting to become a plutocrat?
He was going ever-upward for awhile, didn’t suck as an actor, and then poof, he’s gone until SyFy jobs start calling.
Jay,
I will be in in the land of corn on the afternoon of the 26th (Marriott).
I have a very early flight the next day, but can do a happy hour.
Crap, I work 2 jobs on Fridays, so I can’t make that one, sorry!
http://jethead.wordpress.com/2014/12/13/flying-a-jet-in-the-los-angeles-storms-december-12-2014/
Hey, Phat, you ever read this guy? Nice description of flying into SNA.
Can’t sleep
Sleepy Sleepy.
Did that work?
No
People derp and cross the road from me
And jungle drums they all clear the way for me,
Can you read my mind, can you see in the snow?
And fiery demons all dance when you walk through that door.
Don’t say you’re easy on me, you’re about as easy as a nuclear war.
It’s always a win when I recognize Sean’s derp songs.
Good morning.
In that case roamy I’m about 2-98. That’ll gennerally get you fired.
>>>Wounded Warrior Project gets my donations.
Not really a fan. They seem to spend an awful lot on overhead.
——————————-
I’m open to suggestions XBrad. Really, just had to pick one to benefit service members. Maybe Fisher House? I have a plan for an “In Memory of…” donation before year’s end for a former patient who died this year.
There’s a shiny new poat.