This is a thing

A real thing. Not a made up thing.

My life can now be complete.

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Chicken Diapers. I can now bring my chickens INTO THE HOUSE!!!

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They come in a variety of styles and colors, and prices range from $9 to $12 each.

“Lapeer County Swap” posted this 17 minuets ago.

I have about 20 chickens, and I’ll need at least three diapers per chicken …

Thorsday

256 Comments

  1. Poor poat never had a chance.

    Too bad. There is valuable information here.

  2. Thor’s bigger on my poat.

    Just saying.

  3. I have unpoated.

  4. Gross.

  5. Thanks cyn.

    SMOOCH.

    Last time I try to reschedule a poat it took me about 20 minuets and I messed all sorts of things up.

    *hopes cyn doesn’t look for the “old tabs”

  6. Bootcamp starts in 20 minutes. Time to go wake Benny and make sure he’s semi-calm by then.

  7. There are professionals that can help you with your chicken diapering.

  8. I see a job opportunity.

  9. “Come here, into the room. Weird, I never noticed there were no windows in here. Oh, no inside door knobs either? Probably just an oversight. Here, put your belt and shoelaces in the basket and I’ll go find someone to ask about the missing doorknobs and light fixtures.”

  10. Look, I thought I was a bit crazy, but if someone is offering chicken diapers on the internet, I must not be too far off?

  11. Have some watermelon Car in. It’s calming.

    http://tinyurl.com/pwy6qeu

  12. Why in the cornbread fuck would a person want a chicken indoors?

  13. Some people just do NOT understand.

  14. I built bleachers for mine. If I were serious about composting I’d have some sort of catch tray under them.

  15. Birds indoors is retarded, though.

  16. *runs from blog crying

  17. I saw Chicken Diapers open for The Mighty Buzzcocks in 1998.

  18. “Lapeer County Swap” posted this 17 minuets ago.

    That’s a lot of dances with chickens.

  19. An indoor bird is fine in the freezer or oven.

  20. If spell check doesn’t alert me, GO, it’s going through.

  21. I was hoping you actually enjoyed some dancing chickens.
    So, diapers. Do they make chicken tap shoes?

  22. I mean, I’m trying to imagine putting a diaper on an animal with the brains and temperament of a chicken.

    But I suppose it’s better than putting it in a bustier and panties.

  23. dances with chickens

    MJ’s Cherokee name

  24. But I suppose it’s better than putting it in a bustier and panties.

    DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!!!

  25. ♫ Cherokee people
    ♫ Cherokee pants
    ♫ So proud to live
    ♫ So proud to dance

  26. Wiser eats his dinner

    http://is.gd/W6BbpY

  27. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWjeITmDmmo

  28. You’re going to need a bigger diaper.

  29. Crap. When did Wordpuss start embedding images?
    *shakes withered fist at internets*

  30. You’ve been dead a long time.

  31. chicken diapers and chicken bleachers? There’s something in the water in Meeechigan.

    Drink bottled water, Jazz and Hotspur!

  32. Did anyone else oversleep this morning? Just me?

    Crap.

  33. Shows George the dead guy how to embed an image

    No, not [a href] either.

  34. God intended some animals to be pets and some to be meals. Some are both and some are neither. Some people just can’t seem to keep this shit straight.

  35. The bleachers were scrap wood turned into furniture. I’m rather proud of them.

  36. What entertainment event is there for chickens? Mouse beheadings? Seed gathering competition?

    *sells really tiny tickets

  37. Chicken fights

  38. I always wondered how they make chicken nuggets.

  39. They get to watch the driveway. Sometimes cars go through their field of view.

  40. Thank you, J’ames.

    *bangs head against coffin lid*

  41. *sells really tiny tickets
    Where do chickens put their wallets?

  42. In the diapers, duh.

  43. That might make for soiled greenbacks.

  44. It’s getting to the point where if Rolling Stone does a story about a band, I’m going to assume not only that the story is wrong but that the band doesn’t exist.

  45. Long ago, Rolling Stone became a shrill for Big Music, praising the likes of Beyonce and other talentless hacks. How many times has she been on the cover?

    They have no credibility.

  46. My mother and sister read it. I picked up a copy at their house to see if it had any interesting album reviews. All they discussed were artists and albums that could be found on the top 10 lists.

  47. It’s looking more and more like the noxious rape story was a complete fabrication from beak to asshole.

  48. They should have checked first to see if it was rape-rape.

  49. Did anyone else’s star basketball player get arrested this morning on drug charges 1 day before an intra state rivalry game?

    No? Just me?

  50. Seems suspicious.

  51. But, but, but, SOMETHING happened!

  52. What is the highly touted “statistic?” Something like one in four women are sexually assaulted on campus? Yet American parents continue to send their daughters into this waste land of rape and pillage. America, why do you hate your daughters?

    Dennis Prager also mocks this phony statistic over and over.

  53. All charges dropped on the ISU player. What a morning.

  54. I suppose it depends on what you call sexual assault.

  55. I suppose it depends on what you call sexual assault.

    That is where the lies find their bolthole. Think about it… If it were true that one out of four women were sexually assaulted on campus, why in the name of God would you ever send your daughters to college? It would amount to child abuse. Your daughter would have better odds playing Russian roulette.

  56. Looking at a girl is sexual assault, to some.

  57. I think James sexually assaulted me just now, because I feel this is a hostile blog environment.

  58. *smokes cigarette*

  59. If I have a child, I’ll advise a boy to pursue a trade and be his own boss, and a girl to either do the same or look for a man like that and have me some grandkids.

    Assuming the university system still exists in that many years.

  60. Hotspur, that was an awesome blog link.

  61. My only quibble is that Lena Dunham is not troubled or a psychopath. She is evil. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and she chose to do it.

  62. Who admits things (or makes them up) about their sister like that? It’s not even funny.

  63. GO, it’s a daily read for me. Those ladies make the feminazis look like the harpies they really are

  64. That is good advice for kids, Leon.

    “Hotspur, that was an awesome blog link.”

    Plus Juan

  65. I love the Victory Girls Blog. Deanna, Gail, and Catherine are amazing women. And Morons.

  66. You know, if Diane Feinstein accidentally caught her Hermes scarf on the neck of the lamppost and tripped, I would not be all that upset.

  67. That’s sexual assault, George, since she’s a girl.

    BURN HIM!

  68. The worst part of modern psych was the elimination of the idea that “evil” was an adequate explanation. Now there’s always some malady at work.

    Don’t buy it. Sometimes people are evil. On purpose.

  69. The evil people are the ones that came up with that rationalization. That allows them to not be evil, in their mind.

  70. since she’s a girl.

    Not so sure that label applies anymore. I think the last time Feinstein used her lady bits was in some wimyn’s studies course when they tried to teach her to masturbate. Even that failed.

  71. I’m not sure if Diane Feinstein qualifies as a girl, but I am certain she is old, white, wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice and planning to make a fortune off of California’s high-speed rail through her husband’s connections as prime contractor for the boondoggle.

    http://crazifornia.com/2013/04/16/dirty-business-as-usual-at-california-high-speed-rail/

  72. I think the last time Feinstein used her lady bits was in some wimyn’s studies course when they tried to teach her to masturbate.

    Brain Bleach

    More Brain Bleach

  73. :)

  74. Heh, did Tutor Perini build wiser’s railroad, too?

  75. It’s weird. I used to be friends with a guy who buddied around Venice, CA with the son of Saliba, as in the giant contracting firm of Tutor-Saliba. All these guys did was go to bars, drink and snort coke. Little Saliba’s nickname was “Johnnie Walker.”

  76. New hot water heater and thermal expansion tank installed. We found an absolutely fabulous plumber. This guy was great. Not even any plumber’s butt crack. Although that could have been entertaining.

  77. Ah HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    A trove of recently leaked emails from Sony Pictures reveals a series of embarrassing “racial” messages between liberal Hollywood executives and Democratic donors Scott Rudin and Amy Pascal.

    Ahead of a breakfast with President Obama hosted by DreamWorks Animation CEO and major Democratic donor Jeffrey Katzenberg, Pascal asked Rudin, “What should I ask the president at this stupid Jeffrey breakfast?”

    Pascal suggested, “Should I ask him if he liked Django?”

    Rudin floated another suggestion, “12 years,” (referring to the 2013 film 12 Years a Slave).

    “Or The Butler,” Pascal continued. “Or Think Like a Man?”

    “I bet he likes Kevin Hart,” Rudin said.

    Nearly every film suggested starred or featured black actors.

    CNN’s Michaela Pereira said both Democratic donors may need to reach out to the White House to account for the awkward exchanges.

    “Might need to spend a little more money now and make a phone call to the White House,” Pereira said.

  78. GO is coppastaing from the HQ now? Is this a sign of stroke?

  79. If Car in brings chickens into her house, what happens when they learn how to use the TV remote?

  80. I saw that at Weasel Zippers. Haven’t looked elsewhere.

  81. Or the microwave.

  82. Hi

  83. *Calls a meeting to plan Carin’s intervention.*

  84. At the HQ — it appears that the rape narrative is unravelling in its entirety. MY liberal friends will screech that any amount of rape is intolerable, to which I will agree. Then they will go back to repeating the bogus statistics.

    Sigh.

  85. Now, if the chicken could get inside the microwave and then operate it, you might really have something.

  86. GO is coppastaing from the HQ now? Is this a sign of stroke?
    I don’t think I can have a stroke. Embalming fluid does not clot the way blood does.

  87. If any amount of rape is intolerable, why do feminists joke about prison rape?

  88. Because men don’t count.

  89. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Fish don’t need a bicycle, they need a nuclear powered jetski fitted with lasers and missiles.

  90. Don’t buy it. Sometimes people are evil. On purpose.

    Some people do evil things because they’re really stupid. that’s where a religious/moral upbringing would have come in handy.

  91. Prison rape isn’t rape-rape.

  92. Because men don’t count.

    Modern feminism in a nutshell.

  93. I count change with my penis.

  94. I count your mom with my penis.

  95. I count change with my penis.

    *installs Purell dispensers at cash registers nationwide*

  96. I store Benjamins in my vaj

  97. I store Benjamins in my vaj

    I bet that’s awkward for the cashier when your vaj goes to Bed Bath and Beyond.

  98. Hi

  99. Comment by MJ on December 11, 2014 3:27 pm
    Hi

    Terse muppet is terse.

  100. Imma just gonna leave this here:

    The new findings, published in the journal Science, came after Rosetta arrived at Comet 67P in August, close enough for the instrument to begin detailed analysis of the molecules coming off the comet. Earlier, the same instrument discovered that the comet exuded the scents of formaldehyde and rotten eggs.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/11/science/rosetta-mission-data-rules-out-comets-as-a-source-for-earths-water.html

  101. I saw Formaldehyde and Rotten Eggs open for The Dead Kennedys at The Crypt in 1985.

  102. No wonder the mission was called Rosetta.

  103. So, turns out XMom does have bladder cancer. Early stage, and last week’s surgery was successful. She’s got another procedure scheduled in a month to monitor. No chemo or any of that scheduled for now.

  104. She has a good son by her side. Lucky lady.

    Prayers for you and yours.

  105. Sounds like there is reason for optimism, Xbrad.

  106. Oh, sure. It’s not an automatic death sentence. It’s just one more slice of shit pie we didn’t really want to have on the plate.

  107. Wow, xbrad. Xmom is very lucky to be well looked-after.

  108. Saying Xbrad is a good guy killed it.

    I TAKE IT BACK

  109. Rest in Peace Poat.

    Anywho…

    Who’s ever tried pretzel bread? I like it. it’s sold as sandwich buns. They are addicting.

  110. He is a good guy. And a bit of a blog killer.

    Here’s something to get the ball rolling again:

    http://tinyurl.com/nbfoj46

  111. Paula buys them once in a while Mr Chumpo. Good for a change up on the ole sandwich construction.

  112. Mmmm…warm pretzel bread with butter. Had it for the first time 20+ yrs ago at the Germany pavilion at EPCOT.

  113. Bread is my kryptonite. Except for rye and pumpernickel. Mmmm…sourdough.

  114. It’s fucked up I learn about shit like this from the UK.

    I saw the amber alert on my twitter feed last night.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2870239/Search-family-continues-body-trunk.html

  115. I’m glad it was caught early, Xbrad. Good thoughts and prayers to you both plus hugs and maybe a little mouthwash for that pie.

  116. I’ve been at my mom’s every day for over a week now; lots of hours of missed work, rushing over to rescue her in one manner or another, and a missed company Christmas luncheon today. She’s very weak and lost some strength in her legs. Today got her signed up for a care giver for a few hours a day. At the rate things seem to be progressing, assisted living will soon be required.

    Who’s ready for a good and hearty debriefing?

  117. Oh, and a big fuckin’ cocktail too.

  118. Wow, Cyn, I’m terribly sorry to hear that.

    Hugs and a buttsqueeze to you.

  119. Sorry, Cyn. How about a mug of box moscato?

  120. Thats it. Im going behind the Bar and I’m not coming out until all ye all have big stiff ones in front of you.

    ((((whore)mouth)shut)it)

  121. foul moapht mudda fuaqrs in dis place

  122. I’ll take a box of anything–mmwah!

  123. And something stiff too

    Hey-ooo!

  124. *hugs Cyn*

  125. Thanks, dolly and all youse all.

    Dinner’s in the works; catch all you cool kids later.

  126. Who’s ready for a good and hearty debriefing?

    I’ve been waiting for that all day.

  127. I won’t be able to debrief until next week, when final exams are finished. I will have to live vicariously through your underwear until then.

    *puts on mask and goggles*

  128. A good and hearty debriefing with a big stiff one?

    Works for me 😁

  129. Hey-ooo! Backatcha!

  130. It’s a land rush! ladies Night.

    How ’bout Sangria?

  131. http://tinyurl.com/knt4x4m

  132. Sausagefest in the AM. Ladies Night!!! *Disco ball with lots of Commodores on the stereo*

  133. Why can’t YOU PEOPLE grow up. I come here for the wakeys, the smart political commentary, chicken undergarment news, and mom jokes.

  134. OMG Scott! That is worse than the live performance of Peter Pan on NBC!

  135. Hey MJ! 22nd Anniversary of The Muppet Christmas Carol is today!!!

  136. But I don’t wanna do anything with MJ’s mom….

  137. Mare check http://tinyurl.com/k6qjx8n

  138. A good and hearty debriefing with a big stiff one?

    **raises hand**

    Yes, please.

  139. Hey MJ! 22nd Anniversary of The Muppet Christmas Carol is today!!!
    —————————-
    Where do you think I’ve been?

  140. Mare sighting on Twitter today.

  141. SQUEEE!!!! Muppet Christmas!!!

  142. Light the lamp, not the rat!

  143. Riverbottom Nightmare Band!!

    http://tinyurl.com/pnyn4l5

  144. A good and hearty debriefing with a big stiff one?
    Don Lemon has expressed interest.

  145. I’ll take a box of anything–mmwah!

    http://tinyurl.com/lhwprnr

  146. I’ll take a box of anything–mmwah!
    http://tinyurl.com/lhwprnr

    I hope no one’s Secret Santa gets this idea.

  147. Mr Chumpo, I love Emmet Otter. BBQ!!!!!

  148. **sends poolboy/masseur, a fishbowl margarita, and the good chocolates with the caramel and sea salt to Cyn**

  149. OMG sea salt caramel chocolates!!!! Our new group director encourages us to visit the demos so we can speak about our product. I’ve become a sea salt caramel addict.

  150. *shows up at Cyn’s house*

  151. Evenin’, goobers.

  152. My sister always got gas money before visiting my parents. She got money from my Mom for Labor Day and then didn’t visit. Dan and I are going to Roswell for Christmas Day. Dan: Should we hit your Mom up for gas money? Grrrr.

  153. ~Waves at Andy~

  154. sea salt caramel addict.

    Good Lord those are good.

    Hi Andy, How does this season find you?

  155. Andy, we need an alt country or outlaw country post. Just say no to Bro-country.

  156. Happy birthday, Michael!

  157. Hold on … BRB

  158. OK, a major award is on the way …

  159. I agree, Oso.

    Holy shit, how many of those songs can there be?

  160. *holds on*

  161. There she is … frah-geee-lay.

  162. This day needed more nap.

  163. And vodka. But I’ll fix that problem soon.

  164. I am loving this battery operated hoodie.

    Coats are for suckers.

  165. Andrew! What’s up buddy?

    Happy Christmas.

  166. IKR? trucks, beer, and bros.

  167. Am I the only one who doesn’t know WTF “bro-country” is?

  168. Hank III had the best response to Blake Shelton talking about “It isn’t your grandfather’s country”. I don’t have the link, ’cause lazy and lame.

  169. I couldn’t help but giggle a bit when the lady next to me at Trader Joe’s today picked up a box of fish sticks.

  170. ‘Sup MJ? Merry New Year.

  171. Hahahahahaha.

  172. XB it is what is on country radio. AKA pop country but with guys.

  173. RL last name is Gorton. I get ALL the fish sticks jokes.

  174. Did anybody set a bad example for anybody else today?

  175. Looks like I’ll be in Detroit and Phoenix soon. Yeah!

  176. When is soon? I’m out of town next week.

  177. Jan 6th and 7th but I have shit to do on the 7th.

  178. I’ll be here then.

  179. Cool. We should meet at the ghetto bar.

  180. Go to Car in’s for salmon.

  181. Hotspur will likely be there whether we plan to meet him or not.

    But he’ll save seats for us if we tell him.

  182. Maybe we should just show up.

  183. It would be funnier that way.

    But we run the risk that he picks that night to be at the Aut Bar instead.

  184. Texas Jew, Andy, and Jazz have my country back. Add Hotspur for the bluegrass.

  185. That might be better. Car in would be talking about what an ass MJ is all night, and that might be embarrassing.

  186. You guys should have arranged this privately and then just strolled into the Ghetto Bar one at a time, as if you were just in the neighborhood.

  187. My flight doesn’t get in until 6:30 so it will be 8 before I can be there.

    Let’s just plan on meeting there. We’ll tell fagspur at some point.

  188. You guys should have arranged this privately and then just strolled into the Ghetto Bar one at a time, as if you were just in the neighborhood.
    —————————–
    He’s pretty ancient. I don’t want to give the old coot a heart attack.

    Especially after I went and got him a nice onion for his belt.

  189. Heh. Ye Olde Onion on the Belt. That is old

  190. Laura is getting up at 5 to study.
    Joy.

  191. I’m getting up at 6 to start working on the labs for my bootcamp.

  192. Aliens

  193. As of right now I’ll only have access to them until 9pm tomorrow, so starting early is the only way I’ll finish them.

  194. Oh well, the House passed Cromnibus. Let the red ink spill.

  195. Why not 4? She’s a slacker who is going to bring shame and dishonor on her family.

  196. Darnit, I guess I wasted my time writing that letter to Santa.

  197. I love how you hosefochers are acting as if there is no way I’m going to show up for a mini meet up.

  198. Although I don’t know why on one of my few excursions out of would have tho be the ghetto bar. God I hate you guys so much.

  199. You could come earlier in the day and see my chicken bleachers and meet Benny.

  200. Be sure to bring along a diapered chicken.

  201. Do not do that.

    Bedtime.

  202. So I guess those 2 guys who Boehner lied to in order to get the bill out of procedure limbo feel like putzes right about now.

    They done been used….

  203. Don’t even care. LIFB

  204. Never trust an orange man.

  205. Evening Hostages.

  206. hi, bcoch.

  207. Be sure to bring along a diapered chicken.
    How about a turkey in a bathrobe?

  208. What about a swaddled game hen?

  209. Or an ostrich in Nikes.

  210. Hey, oso. How goes it? I mean, with green chiles I’m assuming, but what else?

  211. Retail in December. So, meh.

  212. This is pretty clever. (I know it’s an old story.)

    http://tinyurl.com/goodfake

  213. How about a swan in a tutu?

    http://tinyurl.com/kmtj3lk

  214. That’s one swan you might keep for yourself.

  215. You people and your bird obsessions. Freaks.

  216. Pepe, great link. A little too close to home right now.

  217. Bat in a blankie?

    http://tinyurl.com/lomep4o

  218. Most boring FB game ever.

  219. Bat in a blankie would be better without the freak with the outstretched hand.

  220. Wow, Fallon couldn’t wait to start making Bush-Cheney jokes again. Reminds me of why I don’t watch him.

  221. I just got back from throwing darts badly, so I guess I’m in a bad mood.

  222. Wow, Fallon couldn’t wait to start making Bush-Cheney jokes again. Reminds me of why I don’t watch him.

    Maybe Feinstein owes the Hollywood lobby a favor because her treasonous “report” will mostly be remembered for helping hackneyed comedians recycle Bush Derangement Syndrome.

  223. http://tinyurl.com/mwuwghh

  224. LIVs could GAS about DiFi.

  225. LIVs are all about Bill Cosby and not about UVA or torture.

  226. What the fucking nutbuggery, xbrad. You owe me eye bleach. GAH!!

  227. If you’re right, Oso, then Fallon is so out of touch he can’t please the LIVs.

  228. GO, Fallon made a TFG golf joke a few months ago and got booed. He reverted to form toot sweet. LOL

  229. Man oh man, but LIVs have thin skin.

  230. Saw Norm and Patton get in a fight about Cosby on Twitter.

  231. Yes. They do.

  232. Patton Oswalt is a degenerate. I saw him live in a tiny club off Santa Monica several times before he became a B-list celeb. You were really close to the stage. There was something deeply pervy about his demeanor. You wouldn’t sit next to him on a subway.

  233. How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

  234. He is a libtard. He kills with his stand up. Nick Swardson. Jim Norton.

  235. No shit, xbrad. So true.

  236. How many Steeler fans does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows, they are too busy counting the bulbs.

  237. I remember thinking he was funny too, but all of his schtick, each time I saw him, was heavily dependent on joking about severe drug usage and gross behavior. Most of this was likely more autobiographical than anyone suspected.

  238. How many chickens does it take to change a diaper?

  239. GO, I used to H8 Christmas Shoes. Then Sean clued me into Patton’s Christmas Shoes standup. I love that song now.

  240. Hey, I thought Ratatouille was great, and it featured two noxious libtards.

  241. Ratatouille was great. Same with Big Hero 6.

  242. We’re trying to get an evaluation to get MiL in a home. She keeps canceling her appts. Until we get an evaluation, we can’t make medical decisions for her. She knows enough to thwart us.

  243. Just because you’re short doesn’t mean you have to watch kids movies, Oso.

  244. I’m not short. I’m average. Sheesh.

  245. Suuure.

  246. I’m taller than most of the Hostagettes!!

  247. haha creepy elf

  248. I was told to go to bed. Supportive spouse really isn’t my MO.

  249. If happy times are too derp and far between
    It’s a pity dear, we can’t erase the things we’ve seen
    So disappear, vanish if you wish
    Just go before you’re swallowed up by bitterness

  250. Up early, busy OR day, call the next 3 days. Oh joy.

  251. In before BBF. Whoa, it’s early.

  252. and of course jimbro beats me up.

    Bully.

  253. At least he didn’t beat you off!!

  254. Don’t tease me, PG.


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