Totes Legit

143 Comments

  1. Sanitized for your convenience.

  2. Haha, the strippers is good.

    That reminds me. Time to go to Thursday Random.

  3. Aww, no thursday random yet.

    WAKE UP, AGGIE!

  4. Is that two female ends of light strings in that 3rd picture? (My aging eyes ain’t as good as they used to be…)

  5. Why are they waiting for the wind to die down before the Orion launch? There’s no wind in space.

    Or

    James Hansen has predicted the weather for the next several centuries, why didn’t he get the launch scheduled for when there’d be no wind?

  6. He could have, except you burned that tire, leon.

    Carbon abuser.

  7. “Is that two female ends of light strings in that 3rd picture?”

    Thank you.

  8. I have never burned a tire. They have too many other uses.

  9. Is it wrong to think that maybe women on submarines wasn’t the best idea?

  10. >>>Aww, no thursday random yet.

    WAKE UP, AGGIE!

    ————————

    I keep finding a dead link when I go to H+B. Is there an H+B2 ?

  11. h&b is dead for me too.

  12. Aggie outed car in’s b-day. HBD Car in!

  13. You’re most welcome, scott.

  14. Why does Aggie hate us?

  15. I think she mostly just doesn’t love us.

  16. H&B is dead for the time being. Some poats are at uncivilpeasants, Hooker of the Week is there now.

  17. Well golly, a liberal scrunt is caught in a big fat lie.

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2014/12/03/investigation-lena-dunhams-republican-rapist-story-falls-apart-under-scrutiny

    *puts on surprise face*

  18. Is it wrong to think that maybe women on submarines wasn’t the best idea?

    Something something sub sandwiches something.

  19. Lena’s story is truthy.

  20. Is that new? I read something about that being bullshit months ago.

  21. Breitbart.com is actually tracking down the leads. Not surprisingly, they are finding nothing, and other means of finding information are being blocked.

    Meanwhile, Lena stands by her story, with her silence. Someone real is accused, and twisting in the wind. All for book sales, and “justice”.

  22. I agree with you, Jay. She is downright evil.

  23. Oh, and she’s a cow.

  24. If you read the story, there was only one Barry at college during that time, and not only does he not fit her description, but evidently he was easy to find by Googling. So an innocent man is truly twisting in the wind, and she won’t clear him.

  25. Couldn’t wait to clear herself when people started saying “mean” things about her abusing her little sister. Fuck her and her libtard hippie parents.

  26. I have now spent 30 f*ckonmgh minutes trying to comply with the rules for making a new password for my remote machine. And failing.

    I think we actually made it impossible.

  27. *slam forehead into keyboard three times, twisting your neck slightly.

    There’s your new password.

  28. I TRIED THAT.

    Screw it. I’ll keep the garbage the admin set for me when I got locked out.

    I have 90 days to find a new job.

  29. Lena was raped, because shut up.

    SHE WILL NOT BE SILENCED.

  30. Say you’re a rapist, just for the sake of argument.

    Who could even get it up to rape that beast?

    No, that’s not a great argument, but it’s better than her unsubstatiated claim.

  31. Monica Bellucci is one of the new Bond girls….

    sweeeeeeet………

  32. Bill feared his wife Jan wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

    Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

    The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

    ‘Here’s what you do,’ said the doctor, ‘stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.’

    That evening, Jan is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and Bill was In the den. He says to himself, I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens. Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

    No response.

    So Bill moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, ‘Jan, what’s for dinner?’

    Still no response.

    Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

    Again he gets no response.

    So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

    Again there is no response.

    So he walks right up behind her. ‘Jan, what’s for dinner?’

    “For God’s sake, Bill, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!”

  33. Mom feels good enough today that she doesn’t want the x-ray.

    I have mixed feeling on this.

  34. Also, a helpful H2 PSA for everyone, except Leon.

  35. Heh, even the timing will be right!

  36. I can’t watch women’s tennis. I might look away and get aroused.

  37. That duffelblog link is old, Jay. I’m pretty sure I linked it at my place when it came out.

  38. Hadn’t seen it, but it seemed timely with the new lightsabre being unveiled.

  39. Happy birthday, Carin. How many spanks do we get to give you?

  40. Carin purports to be 27.

  41. Pffffftttttt…. Yeah, okay, let’s go with that.

  42. She had her first child at 10yo.

  43. It was extremely scandalous.

  44. I was going to say Immaculate Conception, but most people confuse it with Jesus’s conception. It was actually Mary’s conception, and then it made no sense. So I’ll just say, it was probably Col. Mustard in the Billiards Room.

    Or something something. I don’t even know what this means.

  45. Well, at least it wasn’t Jodie Foster on the pinball machine.

    Or Lena at Oberlin.

  46. I’d do Jodie Foster on a pinball machine. Hell, I’d do her on a bed of nails, and let her be on top.

  47. From Ace’s Hillary thread:

    78 57 Um how can you stand With someone using a walker?
    Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2014 01:50 PM (7f5Ol)

    That’s cruel. Slightly off topic; I just read Greg Abbott’s executive order law suit. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

    Posted by: Wendy Davis at December 04, 2014 01:53 PM (ChY2Q)

  48. I’m intimately familiar with the Immaculate Conception, Joachim was my confirmation saint, and I still ask for his prayers. Being a young-ish couple without children at church, I can relate to his and St. Anne’s struggle before they were blessed with Mary.

  49. My confirmation saint is kind of a bad ass.

    http://tinyurl.com/kq3zz98

  50. He’s pretty popular too

    http://tinyurl.com/ljbrsm6

  51. Wiserbud and Jack M are killing me on Twitter with Hillary country songs.

  52. He is packaged with the sword but you can buy a Thor’s hammer separately. He’s worthy.

  53. Joachim and St Michael are both very good choices. Mine is St Cecilia. I was confirmed as a 4 yr old and she was chosen for me by my sponsor, my Aunt Cecilia.

  54. Today I tried to explain to a Kenyan why Obama is a terrible president. I don’t think I made much headway. People not from America seem to think ‘President’ is code for ‘King.’

    On the other hand, he is baffled by Ferguson and believes black American culture is a wasteland.

  55. Your mom was my confirmation saint.

  56. I have so much work lined up right now.

    Just booked a job for Christmas eve.

  57. Was the customer fat? Wearing a red outfit? Cash in advance, don’t settle for cookies.

  58. My favorite moment from the Avengers 2 teaser is Thor looking nervous when Captain America manages to slightly move Mjolnir.

  59. People not from America seem to think ‘President’ is code for ‘King.’

    To be fair, so do a lot of people from here.

    The word alone says everything the Founders intended. A “preside-ent”, one who presides over. His job was simple and small enough for one man with no extra staff to accomplish. Preside over the nation and make sure laws passed by congress were enforced. That’s it. Write a budget once a year. Easy.

  60. Jimbro made me giggle. Then, I thought “White Reef”

  61. *yawns*

    Mmm-hmm.

    Posted by: Large Paper-Mache’ Shocked Face at December 04, 2014 02:56 PM (UI6N5)

    on the Boehner poat. that’s some funneh raht dar!

  62. Yep.

  63. http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/exclusive-boozy-hillary-clinton-secret-rehab-shocker

    They laughed at the John Edwards kerfuffle at first.

  64. Boozy Hill v. Joey Choo Choo v. Liawatha. It could be fun watching the MFM spin it. Coming out too soon. Last time, they let John Edwards stay in long enough to let TFG look like an alternative to Hillary.

  65. I prefer my Hillary a bit boozy. At least she’ll admit that she likes clam dip.

  66. Ew

  67. MJ, that wasn’t graphic enough. Try again.

  68. Andrew Klavan got The Shirt.
    http://youtu.be/3w_NwLLqrDs

  69. Comment by Jimbro on December 4, 2014 4:10 pm

    http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/exclusive-boozy-hillary-clinton-secret-rehab-shocker

    They laughed at the John Edwards kerfuffle at first.

    My boss says the same thing. Laugh all you want about the National Enquirer, but they do have John Edwards’s perfectly coiffed scalp mounted on their wall.

  70. MJ, that wasn’t graphic enough. Try again.
    ———————-
    When Hillary is inebriated, she probably admits that she enjoys parting the fleshy folds of the labia majora to lick Huma’s Abedin.

  71. MJ’s Secret Santa needs to send him a letter bomb.

  72. Fish taco blog

  73. When do I need to send xbrad his SS gift? Dec 11th?

  74. January 11th

  75. Perfect. I’ll make sure to start saving the dog crap.

  76. Ummm, hello!?! It’s supposed to be a secret!

  77. Secrets are for mistresses and some chick named Victoria.

  78. Happy Birthday cArIn, I got you one of these:

    http://is.gd/tXzeqB

  79. Mom’s apparently out of surgery. Still in recovery.

  80. Happy birthday Carin.

    I got you one of these, but he escaped from the basement:

    http://tinyurl.com/le7udkt

  81. Wanna be my mistress Cyn? I hear Santa’s coming to town.

  82. Gross.

  83. Santa already came for me.

    Twice.

  84. Heh.

  85. I hope Pogo’s recovery goes smoothly. And that you have plenty of Val-U-Rite.

  86. Happy birthday, Car in.

  87. Jewstin gives great gifts.

  88. I don’t even like gingers and I wanted to steal car in’s BD present.

  89. Heated hoodies kick ass.

  90. http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2014/12/breaking-eric-garner-arrest-death-supervised-by-black-female-police-sergeant/

    This should shoot Eric “My People” Holders civil-rights lawsuit right in the ass…

  91. Cyn, did your mom get the x-ray?

  92. I was just waiting for one of you hosefuckers to email me this morning, “Is it plugged in? Try prugging it in.”

  93. Why would you think that we would do that, Roamy? Not like we got up early to watch the launch on our day off?

  94. Roamy, BTW Love you and (((HUGS)))

  95. Leon, have you ever tried eating things made with cricket flour? Just curious. Seems to be the new wave. Bug cookies. High protein.

  96. Wait…cricket flour is a thing? What about Hoppers?

  97. I could have used the laugh.

    Windshield cracked, had to get that fixed.

  98. On my car, not the Orion. Just sayin’.

  99. Hahaha

  100. I was just happy it didn’t blow up. (Too soon?)

  101. My windshield is cracked all over.

    I’ve been meaning to fix that since 2009.

  102. I’ve got 2 chips in my windshield. I got the second one a day after I had sealant applied to the first one. My case-control study of treated vs untreated windshield dings has lasted 3 or 4 years now and there has been no progression on either one.

  103. I got hit by something in Knoxville, and it just grew and grew and leaked.

  104. XMom’s home. Surgery went well.

  105. That stuff works really well.

  106. Glad to hear it, XBrad.

  107. You can get away with not fixing clams, but spiders always spread.

    The last spider that I failed to get fixed is now about 4 feet long. It grows every winter

  108. I’m tired and my shit hurt. TGTF

  109. ^not sure I wanna know what PG is talking about^

  110. Did anybody find a bunch of spiders inside the lovely fruit basket anybody else sent them today?

  111. *drops chin to chest and whispers ‘spiders always spread’ *

  112. About 10 years ago in the shitholedump I used to live in this black kid got released from a year in juvie lockup and came back to town. He went out for the football team and in his first game got his knee jacked. When the coach went out to see about him all the kid would say over and over was “Coach, my shit hurt”. By the end of the weekend it was all over town. It’s been my way of describing a variety of aches and pains since.

  113. What a heartwarming story, PG.

  114. When the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes his shit dint hurt no more.

  115. Ace’s little disquisition on the history behind Spectre was interesting.

  116. Yeah, if you’re into that sort of faggotry.

  117. Why would a fearless crew need courage?

  118. In order to be less than fearless?

  119. They’d be lost otherwise

  120. What’s this about Hillary’s spider clam?

  121. Only a fearless crew could navigate Hillary’s spider clam.

  122. You should get a Hillary spider clam tattoo.

  123. **backs out slowly**

  124. Evening Hostages

  125. If the Trojans had a Hillary Spider Clam they would never have lost.

  126. Hillary’s Spider Clam.

    Do I even want to know?

  127. Xbrad – glad to hear her surgery went well. She got the good drugs, right?

    Oso – no, she didn’t want to get the xray. *sighs*

  128. I shudder to think how WWII would have gone if Hitler had had a Hillary Spider Clam.

  129. Cyn knows things.

  130. Thursday Night Football with Ed Hochuli reffing… ooooo yeah.

  131. Leon, have you ever tried eating things made with cricket flour?

    No. And I won’t. Mostly because I don’t see how it would vary significantly from any other meat- or protein-based “flours” that have the distinct advantage of not being made from arthropods.

  132. “After further review, the receiver can suck my balls.”

    Ha Ha Ha

  133. Dammit Bears.

  134. Happy Birthday, Car in!

    Happy Birthday, Michael!

  135. Hahahhahaha. Silly Bears.

    Happy Bday to the Hostages!

  136. WTFITS?

  137. If MJ had a cat:

    http://tinyurl.com/mgmrfdj

  138. http://tinyurl.com/mvdmsqo

  139. “Is this Horrible?
    Is this Horrible?
    It’s the ugliness men, Mr. Horrible
    We’re just trying to derp you
    We thought that our dreadfulness
    Might be a thing to annoy you with”

  140. Bewbs


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