Saturday H2 Updates

Let’s see what some hostages are up to this weekend:

Pupster got a new camera, tripod, and a grant from an undisclosed German firm for a new photo series.

Vmax is experimenting with alcohol-fueled time travel.

Mare has been going all Keyser Soze on the internets.

PJM has been granted permission to work from home.

MJ is on vacation.

CaRiN has some famous customers at her bar.

Dan was transferred to produce.

Mrs. Buffalone asks for more stuffing and basting. Gets it.

So, what are you up to today?  Please respond pictorially.


  1. time travel huh?

  2. [inserts picture of me working all day]

  3. Me?

  4. Someone mentioned Stuart Little yesterday:

  5. Later on I’m using leftovers to recreate modern art masterpieces

  6. I’m driving four hours to see my mother and have a belated Thanksgiving dinner.

  7. So instead of driving two hours to get into a fight with one of my in-laws, I stayed home and got into a screaming match with MY mom.

    I’m starting to think it’s me….

  8. We just went to the club for Thanksgiving
    One step up from Luby’s..

  9. We decided to play a dice game called Farkle.

    She had never played before.

    1st game, she crushes me by about 3000 points. Second game gets even worse. She destroys me by about 4000+ points. third game is getting even more lopsided. I am getting frustrated, but trying to laugh it off.

    I get on a bit of a roll while down about 3000 points, maybe sorta possibly gonna make a game out of it. Then I lose all of my points.

    I slam down the dice cup.

    She says “You know, you’re really taking all the fun out of this for me.”

  10. That was quickly followed by “Maybe you should talk to someone about your anger issues.”

  11. Never play competitive games with your parents
    Freud told me that..

  12. Perhaps you should have skipped teh game, and explained to her your cover-song theory?

  13. Good morning cool kids and people who piss off their moms.

  14. Perhaps you should have skipped teh game, and explained to her your cover-song theory?

    We already discussed that on Wednesday.

  15. Mrs. Caruthers is unwell, so I spent about an hour outside already today with the various animals and picking up more fallen branches.

    Hauling water by bucket is just like crackfat.


    Do It NoW!

  17. I’m starting to think it’s me….

  18. Secret Satan gift?

  19. The last two snowstorms have taken a toll on a big apple tree out in my field. I tried pruning it over 10 years ago but it’s massive. I’ll get someone who knows how to use a chainsaw to get the dead parts out next spring and see if the remaining part is viable. I can’t imagine it won’t be, the root system must be massive.

  20. Secret Satan gift?

    *begins to evilly plot who will get whom for SS*

  21. ay with the various animals and picking up more fallen branches.

    Hauling water by bucket is just like crackfat.

    You need to add some burpees.

  22. No more garage mice. We had a population of 7.

  23. We had an EbolaAIDS scare here yesterday. Hunh.

  24. Hauling water by bucket is just like crackfat.

    You should add sprints and charge yuppies $100 a month to do work on your farm.

  25. Has Wiser said “Naugatuck” yet?

    *drinks anyway*

  26. TRX is pretty awesome. Just sayin.

  27. Had to drop everything and come to mom’s; she wasn’t feeling well and, I think, got a little scared. I hope that this chemo isn’t worse than what we might see from teh cancer.

    Meantime, she only has enough oxy for one day and didn’t tell me or even realize she was low.

    *pours erryone a drink plus one Dr Pepper*

  28. Silly MJ – TRX are for kids.

  29. Heh. Mrs. Bufalone is trying to watch OSU Michigan with me. What a trooper.

  30. Hold the line, Kitten. Good days Bad days. Love to yer Madre.

  31. Meantime, she only has enough oxy for one day and didn’t tell me or even realize she was low.

    Check your pockets.

  32. What are you, a cop ‘er sumthin?!?

  33. *looks guilty and puts most of them back in the bottle*


  34. Wow.

  35. Hola, bitchatchos.

  36. Hello.

    I’m putting together and filling wardrobe boxes.

    Cyn, that’s going to be a tough script to get filled on a weekend. California is a bitch about that — you need paper prescriptions and everything on it needs to get filled at the same time, so if the pharmacy is out of one of the items, you can get nothing till it is in.

  37. My mother has discovered God help us all.

  38. Governor Dannel Malloy?

  39. Anybody want a cat? I’ll ship it to you. Air holes optional.

  40. Emotional support animals are a scam.

  41. This one is supporting my anger emotion. It’s good at that.

  42. I have an emotional rejection cat.

  43. My big ACD hates cats. The puppy will learn. No catz here. I did see the Broadway show though and, at the time, liked it.

  44. This isn’t a fur coat, it’s an emotional support chinchilla.

  45. I saw the show Cats with my, at the time, fiance’s parents in 1987 or so. They were pretty wealthy and treated me very well. It’s a shame their lovely daughter was awful at blowjobs.

    The only other show I saw in NYC was “Faust” when I stopped in NYC for an interview at Columbia for my residency in 1990. I drove from MA to WV to interview in Morgantown, WV and then to Long Island for Stony Brook and finally to Manhattan where my friend’s sister lived. He was there to do interviews in NYC too. She wanted to give us the full cultural experience so we saw the show at the Metropolitan Opera. I’m sure it was excellent and if I hadn’t fallen asleep after 20 minutes I’d confirm that for you. I had more fun getting last call at a neighborhood bar 0400 and staggering home to her apartment.

  46. *pours erryone a drink plus one Dr Pepper*

  47. fixt

  48. What?

  49. Your link was messed up. I had to see it. So I fixt it.

  50. He killed his cat.

  51. Well, thanks J’Ames.

  52. Miss State is going down.

  53. Not an option, scott. I’ve been informed by the boss.

  54. Well, we just lost to BYU. I can stop caring about football more or less completely until next summer.

  55. Ugh! Worked a mid today, back to 5AM tomorrow. Another Open House. I wonder how many DVD/Blu-rays were stolen today. Some weirdo stripped down and changed his clothes on the northside of The Club. Idiots call us instead of calling the cops.

  56. Oh, BTW, Dan just got promoted out of Produce into Deli. He is now Deli Dan or Dan-Dan the Deli Man. That is all.

  57. Winless in the big 12 here, sean. At least we beat Iowa.

  58. So, dan is bringing home the bacon now?

  59. Spam man.

  60. Danicatessen.

  61. DelicatessDan.

  62. Black Forest Dan

  63. I thought Cats and Phantom were ‘eh’.

  64. No new scripted ordered by mom’s docs.

    Fortunately, she still had some hydrocodone so she’ll be fine until we see the doc on Tuesday.

    *lowers chin and whispers, “Naugatuck”; drinks*

  65. Hahaha I can’t wait to use these.

  66. Oso, you have to see how many “salami” jokes you can make in one day.

  67. argggggg

  68. Ok there..

    Thank you Cynny!

  69. HO HO HO!

  70. Dan, Dan the Sausage Man

  71. Green eggs and Dan.

  72. CoAlex, between the deli salami jokes and the wiener dogs, it is already pretty 4th grade.

  73. snugs

  74. There’s a few hours left to sign up for SECRET SANTA.

    This is your last warning call to action!

  75. Cyn, chemo sucks. Hope your Mom isn’t in too much pain.

  76. AoSHQ was fighting about religion and Dominoes???
    I dropped them this:

    I’ve got a two-pound, 16″, 5 cheese pizza that’s gonna get covered with Canadian-Bacon, Pineapple chunks(sacrilege, I know. There is NO Hawaiian pizza), and quartered Artichoke-hearts (for the indigestible vegetable fiber), with a pound of shredded cheese to keep things from falling off.
    Not only that, it’s gonna’ bring-on a massive Obama with the first cup of coffee tomorrow.
    Those artichoke-hearts are like steel-wool going through your gut.
    They scrape *EVERYTHING* out.
    Deal with it! You are:
    “The Horde”…

  77. Thank you Oso; we’ve just about got the pain tamped down to a manageable level-2 with a few spurts of 5’s and 6’s. I’ll have a convo with her doc on Tuesday to see about a longer acting medication so she’s not waking at the four hour interval in the middle of the night for more drugs.

  78. Deal with it! You are:
    “The Horde”…

    I’ll drink to that.

  79. “The Horde”

    Your mom on the other hand.

  80. “The Whored”

  81. Ugh!!

  82. Your mom has soft hands

  83. *

  84. Okay,
    Sorry I killed it.
    I’m a little bitter is all, as are my brothers and sisters.
    It’s just a ‘sore-point’. Scott couldn’t have known.
    Carry on, as if I had said nothing.
    Never-mind, I can edit it out.

  85. It’s a generic thing.

  86. Understood, ChrisP.

  87. Sorry about that, and “No Offense, Scott”.
    My. and my siblings, childhood, was NOT a thing for jesting.
    We all survived, but are all damaged.
    Long story, not gonna go there, none of your biddness.
    Good night…

  88. My Uncle was in his 50s when he married a Colombian in her 30s. My cousin, Ron, is in his 40s and he just married a Colombian in her 20s. Dan watches Modern Family. He thinks it is time for him to marry a Colombian in her 20s. Produce guys are threatening to make him a widower because they aren’t fans of me singing Everything Is awesome 24/7.

  89. Leftover turkey!

  90. How are the hostages this evening?

  91. Modern Family is pretty good.

  92. Roar, Vman

  93. I like Modern Family and The Middle. *Channels Brick: The Middle*


  95. *channels Oso channeling Brick*

  96. Hahaha

  97. Did anybody move anybody else from the “Kill NOW” list over to the “Kill Sometime Later” list, at least for the time being today?

  98. …mmm… …Sophia…

    I want to look like her in my next life.

  99. Dan just reminded me that when he was a Payless Shoes manager, everyone called me “Peg” and him “Al”. Al is now married to Sofia Vergara on Modern Family. He just keeps digging himself deeper.

  100. Sean, the Kill Nao list is being updated.

  101. Columbians are easy.

  102. Bama’s not done yet.

  103. ChrisP, you had an awful childhood and I hate that it happened to you, AND I don’t know of any rules here that say we can’t say what’s on our minds.

    Except Xbrad, cause then we’d just be hearing about fapping 24/7.

  104. “… fiance’s parents in 1987 or so. They were pretty wealthy and treated me very well. It’s a shame their lovely daughter was awful at blowjobs.”

    hahahaaaa—- bj’s and chicks – choices -OY!

  105. I wouldn’t put up with her crap.

  106. “Columbians are easy.”
    i “dated” a columbian chick in ’89…
    she was hiding from her cartel husband; alas the relationship was brief…

  107. *airquotes*

  108. My buddy is in Columbia now, prolly hooking up with those easy chicks
    Damn him

  109. Cyn, I finally got to be Mike Heck on The Middle. Dan compares me to every character, but Mike. Until the Thanksgiving episode. Birthday at the buffet. I was finally Mike.

  110. I dated a Colombian chick in 91. Alas she was not “easy”

  111. Can someone translate?

  112. I have never met anybody from Colombia.

  113. It’s all just made up as we go along, Scott. I think. Probably.

  114. Scott, you have to watch The Middle. Brick is the Aspy kid. Sue is the optimist that is just such a nerd loser she doesn’t get it. Axel is the lazy jock. Frankie is the mom that goes from job to job. Mike is the laconic dad. He’s the most normal member of the family. Until last week. He H8S servers that sing Happy Birthday.

  115. Sean, is that even possible in Cali?

  116. Wait – Frankie left the car dealership??!?

  117. Never seen it.

  118. Yes!!! Went back to school. Dental hygienist. Works at home for a travel site. 2 jobs to pay for Sue’s college.

  119. Crap. I’m sooo behind.

    No moar spoilers!!

  120. Sorry. *Drops head to chest* sorry.

  121. I dated a Columbian once. He was energetic.

    And easy.

  122. You people don’t even….We had to celebrate Colombian holidays and observe their traditions. To make my Tia feel welcome. She is really nice. Her Mom (IKR?) is nice. Dan H8S my Uncle, but his wife and MiL have been awesome. Their English is improving.

  123. Not sure I understood WBs story. Was he supposed to not be competitive?

  124. “I dated a Columbian once. He was energetic.”

    his estranged wife’s name wasn’t Consuela and hiding in the US by any chance?

    if so, we’re almost related

  125. Sean, is that even possible in Cali?

    Not many South Americans in the circles I travel in, I guess. Mostly Mexicans and Central Americans. I can only remember one guy I went to college with who was from Peru.

  126. We have a pretty good Latin American Studies program. One of my profs in the 80s got my Uncle out of Equadorian jail in the 70s. I have lots of friends from CA and SA. I don’t play well with Mexicans.

  127. I H8 5AM. G’night windowlickers and paste eaters. Mmmm…paste.

  128. TRX is fine. Iffen you can’t lift real weights.

  129. When I worked retail in college the secretary for the store’s office was a Colombian woman. Her daughter worked as a part-timer and was Colombian-Lebanese mix. MMmmmmm.

  130. Hola, bitchez!

    Just found out our neighborhood now has an LGBT “Memorial” garden. Some SJW project by the do-gooders at TCU.

    We’ll see how long it lasts…

  131. memorial for what?

    Hi Car in! Any memorable stories?

  132. I guess not.

  133. Wasn’t the question you asked me
    It wasn’t the answer I gave
    That made me feel like I was on a derp
    Was a distant voice
    Made me make a choice
    That I had to get the fuck out of this town

  134. Home. I lost weight over Thanksgiving. Not complaining.

  135. Oh, and if anyone wants a dumber-than-a-bag-of-hammers collie, I will pay you to take ‘im.

  136. Sorry Roamie, my freezer is full.

  137. I keep thinking about the Jeff Foxworthy routine about his pets “running away”.

    I feel sorry for the dog because he spent his first 5 years in a breeder’s kennel. He’s an AKC champion, absolutely beautiful, but has no idea how to be a pet.

  138. What a weird week it’s been. My dad and stepmom are recovering from their accident. SIL is angry because we didn’t do more to take care of FIL (nor will we take the damn dog). I brought Thanksgiving-like dinner ingredients (ham instead of turkey) and cooked on Wednesday. I cooked peas, which is apparently a cardinal sin in the SIL house. Aspy nephew, a junior in college, spent the entire time writing a computer program which morphed into a board game. The game involves college life. I’m hoping he wikipedia’d the list of venereal diseases, otherwise he knows more than Rosetta about STDs. I decided I didn’t want to know if it was a homework assignment or his own creation. Lib cousins did not discuss politics, thank God. Yankee family did not know what hushpuppies are nor why people were pulling over for the funeral procession.

  139. Even I know what a hushpuppy is!

    Now be a dear and pass those Mountain Oysters, will ya?

  140. Everyone here pulls over for funeral processions, so it’s not northern thing, just an asshole thing.

  141. On a more positive note, I don’t know when it happened, but my kids didn’t seem to mind me singing while driving and even joined in. Rocketboy can sing along with Metallica and Evanescence, Mini-me with Blue Oyster Cult.

    Where’s Carin? Rocketboy asked for QOTSA for Christmas, what album should I get?


    Dog version: Eat Shit and Puke on the Stairs

    *goes for paper towels*

  143. I can understand not pulling over for a funeral procession when it’s an 8-lane freeway in NJ. Someone would probably shoot you for doing that.

  144. Rocketing is so smart!!!!! You must get him every album.

    Songs for the deaf was my first. They are all good, recent is awesome. Lullabies to paralyze.

  145. Stardog ate half a smelly gym sock and had a rough few days until it passed. Of course she chose to wait until we went to Thanksgiving dinner to let loose with it. Thankfully we put her in the mudroom before we left.

  146. .

    Someone won $450 in keno. Keno drawer was negative. More winners than losers for the day.

  147. Don’t overlook this either:

    The comments on Sound City said this was QOTSA’s masterpiece. Car in will know better than me:


  149. Get him the album in vinyl, that way his journey to the dark side is complete.

  150. I gained weight this Thanksgiving. I blame the small gathering and my own impending sense of guilt for declining 80% of what my mother and sister cooked.

  151. Lightsaber you say?

  152. DOTW idea, MJ needs to take notes.

  153. I bet Car in could make a few of those AND run the Keno!

  154. What the hell is that madness?

  155. Here is one for your binder, Leon:

  156. Get him the album in vinyl, that way his journey to the dark side is complete.

    He took the record player with the USB converter and about two dozen albums back to school. I haven’t looked to see what he took, other than The Police. He complained about the large number of Springsteen albums.

  157. It’s an annual tradition to retell this tale in our family (we can laugh about it now….), so I thought I would share it with all of you:

    (Yes, I know I’m not supposed to post links to my personal blog, but this story is Hostage-worthy)

  158. *stuffs poat in shoe*
    *buries it in woods*


  160. The Joooos have indeed conquered the new Star Wars.

    Jokes aside, the only white male Jedi going forward are Sith, and there is supposedly at least one lesbian Jedi. So the SJWs have most certainly had their way with the Star Wars casting and writing.

  161. Augh! Small plumbing problem is getting bigger.

    Off to Home Depot.

  162. Trip #1.

  163. Shut up.

  164. Don’t forget the wax seal.

  165. Don’t forget the wax seal.

    Buy two.

  166. Did you try jiggling the handle?

    *runs far, far away*

  167. Buy two they’re cheap

  168. I had to make a B52 for the other bartender last night. He couldn’t layer it properly.

  169. Them Crooked Vultures is also really good- Josh Homme is the man . Era Vulgaris is actually my least favorite. Into the Hollow is my favorite song on that album. And Suture up your Future. Sick sick sick is fun/fast.

  170. QOTSA albums, as rated, by me. In Descending order.

    Songs for the Deaf
    lullabies to Paralyze
    …Like Clockwork
    Queens of the Stone Age
    Era Vulbaris

  171. Should I now do by “song”?

    Roamy, go tell your son to listen to “You can’t Quit me.” RIGHT NOW.

    And turn it up really loud.

  172. I read that Josh plugged his guitar into a bass amp for that album, giving it that fuzzy feel.

  173. Secret Santa Emails are waiting for you…

  174. **searches surrounding nine counties for a fuck to give**

    **fails miserably**

  175. Jimebro?

  176. I was hoping for a hot chick this time. It’s awkward sending a ball gag to a dude.

  177. Got my victim’s name – thanks, Cyn ♥♥♥

    *rubs hands together, laughs maniacally, puts safety goggles on*

    Let’s do this!

  178. Two trips. Old houses suck.

  179. I got Buffalone as my SS.

    Anyone want to trade.

  180. Jimebro?

    Nyah! Flashbacks!

  181. This is from a book of supposedly “untranslatable” words from other languages whatever that means. This is Yiddish and happens to me more often than I’m willing to admit:

  182. I stuffed a Kong toy full of dog kibble and smeared peanut butter on the inside. He seems baffled by it. He prefers to chew on firewood and rip the bark off as a chew toy.

  183. Got my victim email. Now I have to figure out what to get the poor bastidge.

  184. My ss is gonna get stuff I can steal from work. Oyster crackers. Bottle of A1 .

  185. Same here: tongue depressors, silk suture, 4 x 4 gauze, limbs…

  186. Giants are going to lose this.

    They suck.

  187. *checks pantry*

    Oooh – my SS’s gonna love this jar of 3-year-old olives! And this box of GF cake mix…..and these old birthday candles….and here’s a tin of cooked chicken…..

  188. The Giants do suck but I can’t brag about shit.

    At least you can’t blame the Giants on Jerry

  189. Ravens-Chargers got interesting

  190. I broke two shutoff valves today.

    It got interesting.

  191. Shutoff valves always break. I’m gonna quit putting them on, save some time and money.

  192. I can’t fully shut off the water here. I need to put in a sharkbite ball valve one of these days.

  193. They don’t break unless they seize up, which is pretty common. It would be a pain in the ass, but if you opened and shut them once a year, they would last a lot longer.

  194. shut off valves are bossy

  195. Yeah, but that would be thinking ahead, HS, and that’s just not my style.

  196. You still have a wife, right?

  197. These valves are 66 years old.

  198. Unreal.

  199. Greetings, people who are getting sick of turkey sammiches.

  200. *looks around.

    Who gets sick of turkey sammitches?

  201. a valve that is older than me is not a valve it’s a placeholder until something disturbs it

  202. You can get sick of anything, if it’s all that’s available.

  203. Aaron Rodgers is an alien.

  204. You can get sick of anything, if it’s all that’s available.

    Sex with Sofia Vergara?

  205. You never know. She could be a very cold and unimaginative lover who would rather you didn’t touch her big, fun titties.

  206. You never know. She could be a very cold and unimaginative lover who would rather you didn’t touch her big, fun titties.


    Ha Ha


  207. Green Bay is kinda good, aren’t they?

  208. One hell of a game.

  209. I just think it’s not a great idea to assume that someone’s attractiveness correlates directly to how good they’d be at sex.

    I assure you that I say this without any self-interested ulterior motives. Yeah.

  210. Barring a defensive miracle I’m thinking GB wins this one.

  211. Brady looks… cranky.

  212. My hope is that they meet again in the Super Bowl and this defeat provides the incentive for them to win. And I want a Red Ryder BB gun.

  213. Fuck Green Bay.

  214. That drive at the end of the first half was the difference.

    60 second drive. That was just sick.

  215. It’s gonna be cold for tonight’s game, too.

  216. Dan just gave the Chiefs the Kiss of Death. He’s rooting for us. His opponent in FF has Peyton. I don’t know if my Chiefs blanket has enough mojo to counteract the KoD.

  217. You need to have a word with Dan. We need all the help we can get, oso.

  218. IKR? Stupid Raiders. J’ames, at least he isn’t wearing any Chiefs gear.

  219. You never know. She could be a very cold and unimaginative lover who would rather you didn’t touch her big, fun titties.

    I cannot believe in a reality this cruel.

  220. On a topic unrelated to football, I think it’s neat how the USPS has a non-linear concept of time. To wit, I am expecting a package, the estimated delivery day for which is (not was, mind you) listed as yesterday on their tracking page. The package left Des Moines sometime early this morning.

  221. Des Moines? There’s your problem right there! (I have no idea what that even means)

  222. There’s lots of stuff from Des Moines!

  223. Don’t talk shit about the Raiders or I’ll burn your city down!

  224. Baby back ribs at Smokin’ with Chris…..


  225. Jew, I’ve H8D the Raiders since Blanda. Thugs and convicts. I’m talking the players.

  226. About 20 years ago, the Raiders kicked a field goal on the final play of the game. They didn’t need it to win the game, just to cover the point spread.

    I hated them since.

  227. I didn’t even know Nutmeggers had BBQ!!!! Went to the Smokin’ with Chris link. OMG.

  228. I’ve hated the Raiders more than twice as long as Scott. I was a childhood prodigy of Raider H8.

  229. >>>>>
    I didn’t even know Nutmeggers had BBQ!!!! Went to the Smokin’ with Chris link. OMG.

    Amazing sauces. And excellent ribs.

    Gonna go there a whole lot more.

  230. I remember Des Moines. Great steak restaurants and a lot of strip clubs.

  231. I am liking the Mexican place near you.

  232. I remember Des Moines. Great steak restaurants and a lot of strip clubs.

    It’s amazing how many of the latter start out as the former.

  233. Happy Birthday, Michael!

  234. >>>>>
    I am liking the Mexican place near you.

    Which one is that?

    And we will do dinner at Chris’ during this holiday break


  236. The place where Wiserbride and Laura went to about a month ago.

  237. Whenever I go to that auction house I stop for burritos.

  238. Looks like Dan ruined MNF.

  239. Des Moines is spelled goofy and I don’t trust it

  240. Raider haters.

  241. Missing Ohio State Footballer found dead in a dumpster.

  242. KoD!!!! Science!!!

  243. >>>>>
    The place where Wiserbride and Laura went to about a month ago.

    Hmmmm… I’ve not been there yet….

  244. Wisergoddess and I were talking about the four of us going there some time. It’s not really a sit-down place, though. Kind of loud and uncomfortable. But we could still make a date of it.

    School ends in a couple weeks. I have about seventy kajillion social reconnections to make and I can’t WAIT!!!

  245. Of course, before then, you two guys might be able meet up there for lunch some time soon when Scott has to go to that auction house.

  246. I’ll try no promises

  247. Date guy wanted to discuss alien presence among ancient humans. I veered directly into oncoming Xenu traffic. Date guy was not amused.

    I really thought my Linda Blair joke would have brought down the house.

  248. Was Date Guy a Truther too? Was he “Too young” for Linda Blair humor?

  249. Alien presence? You mean like Messicans and Gwaddamallons?

  250. I’m not certain about the truther thing, but tying Linda Blair and L. Ron Hubbard together in a joke about demonic alien possession is a field of landmines.

  251. Comedy gold, Jew, comedy gold!

  252. well, at least they aren’t shut out.

  253. The Chiefs’ uniforms remind me of something…

  254. Carving up the Chef’s defense. Just like I thought he would.

  255. Dan has become the Japanese groundskeeper from Major League. If he says “They’re shitty” one more time…

  256. Jew’s date has a large internet following:

  257. I’m kinda fond of this article about “President Jarrett”:

  258. Obama’s manhood.

  259. Happy birthday, Michael!

    *gentle hugs*

  260. Ugh. Walking Dead peeps are already whining about spoilers. Here’s a suggestion…stay off social media until you can watch.

  261. just pulled the Crap tree outta the attic oof

  262. Or, if you don’t want to watch a zombie show that requires a tampon applicator and some midol they could tune in to Z Nation.

  263. Jew with the BOOM!

  264. Our ornament is displayed.

    We are festive.

  265. Scott,
    Anita is thinking about Christmas decorations, if it ever gets above freezing, without being a downpour…

  266. I need to put the Advent wreath out.

  267. MMM @606am. Sleep now.

  268. G’night guys. Watching the rest of the game in bed.

  269. NYTOL.

  270. You guys go to bed when the street lights come on?

  271. Did anybody realize that anybody else’s new religion was just a tax dodge today?

  272. It’s not a tax dodge. I’m just trying to get my Central American compound up and running.

  273. Blerg.

  274. Will there be ancient alien ghost possessors in your compound?

  275. Dammit. I keep forgetting to get blue cheese to put on my steak.

  276. Nope, Jewstin. But plenty of generic brand sugary fruit punch.

  277. Kool Aid! WHOO!! ME FIRST!!!!


  279. Hey Dave, maybe something for a football thread? This makes this song tolerable:

    Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae

  280. And another. Perhaps Monday night football?

    Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders “22” by Taylor Swift

  281. Jay, did you see the special operations response to Miami Dolphins cheerleaders?

  282. I started a week late on my November beard. I was going to go a week into December before shaving. It is scratchy and I am debating shaving it tomorrow.
    Any thoughts?

  283. I am forever a Dolphins fan, and the Dolphins cheerleaders too.

  284. I been waitin’ all day for Sunday Night.

  285. Was today a better day, Cyn?

  286. I grew my beard too, Vmax. I’m just glad it’s time to shave. Shave that mess off. Beards are horrible things.

  287. No.

    Not at all. Just getting back from my second trip there today. She was stuck in a seated position and couldn’t get up, and wouldn’t let me call the FD.

    But I set a new landspeed record from my house to hers, so there’s that.

  288. She slept through and then forgot to take her mid-afternoon pain pills, plus, she’s not been eating (chemo complication) so she is weak and in horrible pain.

    These fucking docs had better get on the stick to help her or you guys are going to be reading about me in the newspapers.

  289. We get to shave tomorrow?! Gah – finally.

  290. Thanks Jew and Cyn,
    Will take a pic and shave.
    Mustache is going too, it has been 20 years, my lip needs to breathe.

  291. Thanks for the emergency kitteh.

    Going to try to sleep.

    Tomorrow is a new better day.
    Tomorrow is a new better day.
    Tomorrow is a new better day.


    G’night cool kids.

  292. Goodnight, Cyn. Sleep well and dream of competent, handsome doctors. A-and maybe the doctors can be widowers, too.

  293. My riches can’t buy everything
    I want to hear the children sing
    All I hear is the sound
    Of derp falling on the ground
    I sit and watch
    As tears go by

  294. I’ve been waiting all day for Sunday Derp.

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