Something, something, something, oh yeah humpy guys on a hump day. Hi baby.
Movember theme?? Sure; why not.
264 Comments
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Something, something, something, oh yeah humpy guys on a hump day. Hi baby.
Movember theme?? Sure; why not.
November 26, 2014
Categories: Hulk Smash, Learn some shit, shut your whore mouth, Space pens, you might be gay if you like this, Your mom likes this . . Author: Cyn, Widgets Fixerer
264 Comments
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March 3, 2021
Our government is a giant shitball of incompetents, liars and fascist pricks.
car in, I decided to just buy Sonic Highways. Don’t like the venues enough to use the passwords to pre-buy tickets.
FINALLY. I’ll await your review, Oso.
wakey wakey.
*goes to check the hunks
WTFITS?
Nothing like driving to work in a couple inches of snow. Yeehaw!
Everyone is on their best behavior.
Ensconced in the beach house. It’s raining.
Do you know that an inch of rain is like 7 inches of wet snow? We’ve had half an inch of rain that’s frozen.
Someone better get their ass over here and help me clean.
And, my Under Armor shirt is missing. Stupid kids. I need that for tomorrow.
Chop chop
Rain and sleet so far.
Still haven’t pulled any horseradish. Gonna let it go until the next thaw. Too much other stuff to do today.
Giving Scott some more time to sleep in, before I start smackin’ pots and pans around.
Ice cream for beffish! YAY!
*twirls under armor shirt on horns*
Come and get it.
Please tell me the shirt is red, for added irony bonus points.
Someone on facedouche shared this, and I think everyone in Ferguson should read it:
http://www.ejectejecteject.com/archives/000129.html
Bill Whittle killed it. Stupid sheepdog.
Dear God, I hate that analogy.
I’m not fond of it, if only because it casts the rest as sheep.
Thanks Jay, I’d forgotten that article. Grey.
Who moved my cheese?
I cut it. Then ate it.
Wed Nes Day
SECRET
SANTA
SIGN UP
S’IL VOUS PLAIT
New tires are on car.
Bring it, Winter.
Why is Cyn yelling at us?
And none of that faggy french shit.
I got new tires on the front a couple weeks ago. Plowed right through the snow today.
Hankook 770s. Ask for them, people. Quietest tires I’ve ever had, great in snow and rain, too.
I’m on my second set.
There were protesters in Ann Arbor last night. Ann Fucking Arbor for crisakes – white privilege capital of Michigan.
http://www.mlive.com/news/ann-arbor/index.ssf/2014/11/hundreds_march_in_ann_arbor_ag.html#incart_m-rpt-2
You aren’t supposed to replace only front tires, Jay. Even Carin knows this.
If you have an unrepairable flat on one, you do. The back ones were fine.
What the fucking fuck? Bandwidth is out. How did that happen? Between 7 am and 8:45 it all got used up?
Something is obviously wrong here. I fucking hate hughesnet.
i wonder if there is any way the people building the house next door could be stealing it? I don’t think the signal goes that far. I may have to perform an experiment.
You should riot.
Burn the bitch down!
I may have to perform an experiment.
I love it when car in talks dirty.
don’t tempt me scott
I’m shocked it hasn’t been burned down already.
Also change your password.
Ta Gueule
Carin, if you don’t have a passkey on your router, they can definitely leach off of you.
I’m with Scott.
Pound cake for breakfast!
I generally pound scotch for breakfast.
If the roads get shitty enough I’m going to make a Walmart run.
* puts on yoga pants *
That’s a good look on you Scott. Here, try this too…
*hands over under armor shirt*
It might be little snug.
I suggest Car in change her SSID network name to “NSA_node246” or perhaps “BATFinternal”
I’m thinking of changing it to “YOUR NEIGHBOR’S VERY LIMITED BANDWIDTH”
found my under armor shirt.
Next dragon to slay? the bathrooms. all effen four of them.
*cries
From the research department to jimbro: testing another Chillin Moose parejo. Burning very even, medium strength, white ash, smooth and perhaps woodsy. Over and out.
Car in’s mistake was making her network password “your_mom”
http://tinyurl.com/me2nu5q
http://i.imgur.com/6LIiH4A.gif
Methinks blacks and gays aren’t down fo da same struggle
http://is.gd/mZtUXm
Bad words warning
So Ginsburg had a stint place in her heart. How did they find the fucking thing?
Car in, don’t you have chirruns you can beat into doing that?
Libtard writer in Time ragazine:
Riots are a necessary part of the evolution of society. Unfortunately, we do not live in a universal utopia where people have the basic human rights they deserve simply for existing
Publish this guy’s address so we can bring the evolution of society to him.
So Ginsburg had a stint place in her heart. How did they find the fucking thing?
And why didn’t they drive a damn stake through it?!
If Licorice Dick prays, he’s praying Ginsburg croaks before the new Senate convenes so he can shove a young radical leftist into her robes.
Yup.
The only Americans who can legitimately object to immigration are native Indian-Americans, President Barack Obama told his Chicago audience Nov. 24, as he made an impassioned ideological plea for endless immigration, cultural diversity and a big government to manage the resulting multicultural society.
Seems to me the mastodons might have an objection to being slaughtered by undocumented Cro-magnons. Why does he hate Mother Earth?
Young radical leftist, Dinosaur radical leftist – at this point, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
The mastodons had it coming.
Americans should not favor other Americans over foreigners, Obama demanded. “Sometimes we get attached to our particular tribe, our particular race, our particular religion, and then we start treating other folks differently…
Like Eric Holder does?
One thing that I’m thankful for is that the Dems, when they were in control of the WH, didn’t think to try and push expanding the Supreme Court.
They don’t need to pack the Supreme Court. They can increase their power easily by expanding the real power in the federal government: namely the bureaucracies like the EPA, the IRS, etc.
Almost time for the Thanksgiving luncheon at work. We do a traditional meal, Tex Mex from Las Casas
Americans should not favor other Americans over foreigners
Not quite sure how this lines up with affirmative action.
Similar to a jihadi workplace accident.
http://is.gd/PQKIV5
I usually pound your mom for breakfast.
Your mom is better with a side of bacon.
Tribal identity is evil except when blacks, asians, messicans, jews, muslims, and women do it.
Are gays a tribe? Or a cis-tribe?
Given the outdoor temperature in many of these places where rioting is occurring, why not break out the tried and true fire hoses?
Methinks the rioters have already hosed themselves.
I forgot gays. They get a pass too. For fairness. Also trannies, sex workers, government employees, and unionists.
And Rosetta.
Rosetta has no tribe. That’s why he abuses himself so much.
Sorry, why zhe abuses zherself so much.
I thought Rosetta was a member of the abnormal American community.
My favorite alternative gender pronoun is spivak. Sounds like an alien race from Star Trek.
The worst part about it is completely losing the linguistic fact that “he” is the inclusive pronoun in English.
No, really, that’s the worst part. The destruction of language and the blurring of linguistic gender with biological sex. That’s the hardest thing to fight.
Mankind is a dead word. Even though it refers to all people, period.
It’s wymynkind, now.
No, it’s not.
I fucking hate it when XMom decides to make banana muffins. First, they taste awful. Second, XMom cannot figure out how to operate the toaster oven. Third, I end up mixing all the ingredients, and spooning the mess into the muffin tin, and putting it into the oven, and taking it out. But XMom is making muffins.
I’ve heard Humankind since Carl Sagan’s heyday.
Big whoop.
*Commences Holiday Drinking with a big Bloody Beer*
Who wheres the apron in that kitchen?
Open a Muffin Top store.
Who wheres the apron in that kitchen?
It looks sexy on Leon.
I actually have an apron (with elephants on it!) but I never wear it.
Love it. Just heard that Riverside county is rewriting zoning regs to permit growing marijuana.
Klownifornia: a race to the bottom.
They want the ability to tax it.
Lemme guess where the trunk is.
I just cook shirtless and shower afterward.
In 10 years, we’ll be talking about medical cocaine.
I need medical LSD. It’s the only way I can watch the President speak.
Tribal peyote is already a thing. There’s that tribal affiliation thing again.
Peyote Equality is Human Equality.
ah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
When it comes to Department of Defense doctrine on military treatment of detained persons, “unlawful enemy combatants” are a thing of the past. That term has been retired and replaced by “unprivileged enemy belligerents” in a new revision of Joint Publication 3-13 on Detainee Operations, dated November 13, 2014.
You know, we have no right to prevent their immigration to the Nation Below Canada.
I really wonder what regular military people are thinking these days.
Anything less than a twelve year old being able to buy heroin at the local Walgreen’s is oppression from the fascist nanny-staters.
I really wonder what regular military people are thinking these days.
That a job with a private security force wouldn’t have as much bullshit?
Most of the military folk are busy keeping their heads down and trying to keep their jobs.
There is a guy on Coffee and Markets who deals directly with the top brass in the military as a supplier of security services. He has affirmed more than once that there is a deliberate, sub rosa effort coming from the administration to discourage the best officers from rising to top slots in favor of pliant types who are more concerned with political correctness and social engineering. He hears this from highly placed officers. The best rising bird colonels are being discouraged from improving their careers because the ones being groomed for promotion are the ones willing to be political toadies.
that would be security services relating to information technology
I’m sick of cleaning.
I have to start prepping stuff for tomorrow soon.
In a little while I can take a break and go to work.
I ain’t prepping shit for tomorrow. I’m doing everything on the fly.
I brined my turkey. That’s all the prep work I’ve done. I also hard-boiled the eggs.
I’m supposed to make the turkey. It’s tough keeping it from being tainted by all the embalming fluid, even if I wear rubber gloves.
We’re going to a restaurant for dinner tomorrow. And before you lecture me about the poor workers who don’t get to be with their families, blow me.
I’ve got to make an apple crisp for tomorrow, and pick up a bottle of wine. Luckily, that’s it.
it’s OK, Hotspur. I don’t imagine the libs in Ann Arbor celebrate Thanksgiving anyway. A celebration of the “invasion” of North America which began the displacement of the Native Americans? Plus, the Patriarchy.
No, let those libs work.
I’ve got my two girls cleaning the lower level. I’m afraid to check on their progress.
Maybe I just won’t let anyone downstairs?
I’m making things to take across the state to my sister’s. Stuff I know I can nosh on safely. I volunteered, so I’m fine with it.
I’m taking Grandma out to dinner tonight. Not sure she is aware that tomorrow is “The” day. Hehheh. Small payoff to the kids to play along. Smooth sailing tomorrow.
Evil Genius.
St. Michael’s family church was torched last night by the mostly peaceful protesters.
My sister Vik is coming over to “help” tomorrow, which means she’ll sit on her fat ass and watch HGTV instead of football, and I’ll end up having to make the whole fucking meal while XMom offers helpful suggestions.
I’m sure that was an accident involving vigil candles.
I read that the pastor is blaming The White Supers. Just as likely he did it himself for the optics.
This say anything culture is boring.
I’ve come to believe that all hate crimes are hoaxes. It’s a rule rarely broken.
And before you lecture me about the poor workers who don’t get to be with their families, blow me.
I believe you want to speak to Rosetta about that.
On holidays you only have to tip 5%.
Time to start chopping nuts at high speed.
“Just the tip. I swear.”
ah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A human barricade completely stopped traffic in La Jolla Wednesday morning during rush hour. Traffic is just slowly getting back to normal on the 5-North freeway, near Nobel Drive.
This is all in response to the grand jury’s decision not to charge Ferguson Officer Darren Wilson in the fatal shooting of an unarmed teen. Around seven this morning protesters lined the freeway during rush hour – and literally stopped traffic for about a half hour.
About 50 people held signs saying “Hands up, Don’t shoot.” When this line of protesters stood in the middle of the road, things got heated – drivers got out, confronted the group and punches were even thrown.
Yes, he just shot a random black unarmed teen. Nice work, MFM.
See if you can find the hostage…
http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/happy-thanksgiving-we-are-very-sorry?bffb#.ef8rVpeW6
I get to stop cleaning now. Yea!!!!
Worky worky
See if you can find the hostage…
#16 or else.
See if you can find the hostage…
The one who found a dog.
When I was a kid I thought New England was a state because they have an NFL team.
(when I was a kid is code for I still thin NE stands for New England. suk it)
I think it is funny that people in England see the outline of New Mexico and their first thought is Meth.
NE is Nebraska. They have football. The N on the helmet is for Knowledge.
The Oven Glove State.
I thought that was Michigan?
The Lovin’ Glove state.
Finished shopping for Thanksgiving dinner.
Total Wine = 7 liters of whiskey…
That should get you through the weekend.
Party at Chrispy’s
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/drunken-turkey
Sean’s the designated driver.
http://tinyurl.com/qdukxjq
That’s just too cute to really follow up.
Made one dip, now I need to make the better version that includes pancetta.
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/at4z0
I bet that guy is Oso’s cousin.
http://imgur.com/gwDkDAY
If you’re living in separate cities and dating other people for over 30 years, it’s probably not a “successful marriage”.
http://www.salon.com/2014/11/27/the_key_to_our_successful_marriage_separate_houses/
Nope. No hay Jesus.
Jew, our DC is in Wyoming. The truck driver was talking about the high winds and bad weather up there. Thought of you.
Monday we had periods of total whiteout broken up by sunny, breezy pleasantness. Yesterday was sunny with howling, gale force winds.
How exactly are those people married?
To be fair, we do have a lot of meth houses. When my cousin, Donald, was still a cop, he H8D having to respond to calls in the east mountains. Lots of meth and pot growing. Lots of heroin users too. We’re a drug corridor for the rest of the country too. I10, I25, and I40. Woot! Woot!
If you have a marriage like that, they bust you for fraud.
I forget. Is anyone in Santa Fe or Albuquerque?
If you have a marriage like that, they bust you for fraud.
Ugh, IN THE ARMY…. If you have a marriage like that, they bust you for fraud. Sham marriage for benefits is a NO-GO.
It’s a marriage of convenience. I had an opportunity to marry a chick in Australia once. In exchange for dual citizenship I would have had to spend a significant amount of time babysitting a special needs kid.
Only a flip of a coin kept me here.
I’m in Albuquerque.
Ah, wondered about the place. In-laws just moved to Santa Fe, north of town between 84 and 599.
Wow, their house looks amazing. Can’t wait to see it in person.
Cool. I have a few friends and family in Santa Fe/Los Alamos/Pojoaque.
Beautiful area. Close to O’Keefe country.
I ran into people that I hadn’t seen in years today. I think everyone was at Sam’s Club buying pies. Dan kept catching people hugging me. I H8 being touched.
Demonstrators vandalized businesses in Oakland, California during a second night of protests spawned by a Missouri grand jury’s refusal to indict a white police officer in the shooting death of Michael Brown. (Nov. 26)
I’ll say it again. Oakland is an ashtray.
Did anybody “forget” to pick anybody else up at the airport today?
http://imgur.com/gallery/FyJN8S1
I’m wondering if you can roast a turkey with nuclear waste.
^”The accidental knee in the balls between sex positions.”
Dammit George. Where the hell have you been and why did you come back?
I’ve been dead. And I have returned to feast on brains and turkey. But mostly brains.
Booze is your friend. That is all.
Demonstrators vandalized businesses in Oakland, California during a second night of protests spawned by a Missouri grand jury’s refusal to indict a white police officer in the shooting death of Michael Brown. (Nov. 26)
When I lived in the Bay Area Oakland riots were pretty much a weekly event. Not newsworthy.
That’s Oakland. I used to ride BART into SFO for work and school. The last stop before you went under the bay was above ground at Oakland West. You couldn’t have paid me to get off at that station with platinum bullion.
If booze is my friend, who will be my lover?
Jergens.
HA!
I haven’t been to SF since 1976. I want to go to watch baseball there, but I’ve been boycotting them. Dan has never been to NoCal.
No Oakland either.
I really need to pick up those stadiums.
Ba dump ba
The Coliseum is a blast. I’ve never been to the Giants’ park.
Actually I’ve never been to a baseball game, but the Black Hole during a Raiders’ game is either a death wish or the most fun you can have with your clothes half on. I trust that an A’s game would be just as fun.
Jergens: the milk of human kindness
The As stadium is featured prominently in Major League. I still H8 the As from the Reggie Era.
Jew, my Mom is a freaking Giants/Raiders fan. We were stationed in NoCal in the mid 60s. Her first exposure to baseball and football.
Mineral oil is an enemy. I’m going to start a riot against mineral oil.
NO DIMETHICONE NO PEACE!
I’ve never watched an episode of The View. What am I missing? Judging from the sidebar story at ace, I’d guess I’m missing out on some serious nausea.
On the way to Minnesota. Its getting nicer the farther north we go. Weird.
Fuck a scandi winch for me.
PG, rosie odonnell. Nothing more needs to be said, but add in joy behar and predator, errr whoopi for bonus nausea.
On it, PG!
PG, The View is the worst thing on TV ever. I H8 every single female that has ever been on that POS show. Starting with BABA WAWA and right to the present day. Bints.
I saw one segment of a View episode. Bawbawa and the other harpies took turns savaging the one person who disagreed with them. Absolutely pathetic.
I’m glad Whatshername bailed out and got a job at Fox.
It’s the TV version of Daily Kos with more estrogen.
LIVs love The View.
It’s like Janeane Garofalo cloned itself and adopted a variety of female costumes.
^^^^^
Where we got the Rape-Rape quote from Whoopi
I guess I’ll continue to not watch it, I guess.
I started trapping garage mice.
I’m up to 3.
Don’t be swayed by peer pressure, Pendejo. You might like it.
And you shall continue to remain sane. Because viewing The View..well, that way lies madness.
The View will put sand in your vagina.
No room. That’s where I keep my gravel.
The View causes Ebola symptoms.
Ran into college roommate’s Mom today. 31 years ago, I was at her house in Chama and Mama Kitty consumed a rabbit on the balcony. Our cat was afraid of birds. Mama Kitty was the first hunter I’d ever been around. Carolyn, (Roommate’s Mom) was recently trapped in her bathroom, because a bear was in her cabin. I lived there in the 80s and we had raccoons and skunks coming in through the pet door. The bear just broke in through the front door.
Scott,
Check your email, please.
people watch tv in the daytime, still?
can’t remember the last time I watched tv.
Lauraw, breakroom TV is WTF?
I still don’t understand why people watch episodic TV when break/lunch is 15min or 30min. Makes no sense.
THE VIEW CAUSES EBOLA SYMPTOMS?
I usually wait and download entire seasons of episodic television.
Jew!!!!! I love you!
I’m looking forward to the new season of Person of Interest.
Bcoch, The View causes Democratium. AKA Head up Ass.
I’ve never seen POI. Many people have raved about it.
When and where is it on?
We only have “Antenna TV”…
Yep – and continued watching makes stuff fall right off. I watched for about 15 minutes once and my head fell clean off three times!!1!
Chrispy, Person of Interest is pretty terrific. I’m not certain but I think it’s CBS or NBC on Wednesday Possibly at 9:00 P.M.
I should mention that it might be confusing if you haven’t watched from the beginning. It’s got a pretty good plot arc besides being episodic.
Is POI the one with Jim Caviezel?
That’s the one Oso.
Dreamy
He’s totally dishy. I like the silver wings in his hair.
I ❤ him in Frequency. I still H8 the Mets.
Homemade pan fried chicken, biscuits, gravy, and pear&cheese salad. Man, what a pain in the ass.
Jew, his eyes. Le sigh.
XB is funneh. He tries to be grumpy, but he is a great guy.
I love Pogo, and all the extended XB clan.
Oso, trust me. Others have met me. I’m something of an asshole.
Not really arguing but I think he really is grumpy though
Asshole.
Dude, you kill Black Widows AND you deal with Q-tips on a daily basis. You don’t even call them Crypt Keepers.
I drink heavily to keep a civil tongue.
Blah blah Associate recognition don’t clog the cafe lines. One of the sides in the break room today was HMS Smoked Gouda/Mashed potatoes. It was yum!!!!
I drink heavily to survive…
XB, I drink heavily to keep my rep as a nice person.
USA Today had an article about Heavy Drinking Vs. Alcoholism. Glad to be a HD.
Goodnight, shmoopies.
G’night, Lauraw.
I drink heavily to keep a civil tongue.
I do that by staying dead.
Ugh. Losers at work were making me sing today. I H8 singing.
I’ve not yet figured out why I drink heavily. It’s only come about in the last five years or so. Maybe it’s b cause of Obama.
PG, I blame TFG. I was a moderate drinker before.
Long day tomorrow. Cooking at MiLs.
PG, what a remarkable coincidence!
“Homemade pan fried chicken, biscuits, gravy, and pear&cheese salad. Man, what a pain in the ass.”
try to fit it all in there without the pan next time… less pain, or so i’ve heard from (redacted).
Has anybody else fallen asleep in the mattress store? I was sorely tempted to have a quick nap today at Ortho.
Actually years ago a friend was shopping for a mattress and I was waiting for her, stretched out “testing” one. When I woke up there were several children standing around the bed staring at me.
Oso, are you cooking?
Ugh. Tired, too tired to write. But not nearly tired enough to fall asleep.
Nobody likes a quitter.
You’re right. Thanks for inspiring me to carry on.
**picks up meth pipe again**
There’s a good guy. I saw 4 flights of 6-9 ea V-22’s today. f’in cool looking formations. It’s like the Terminator Wars.
I see them over head here once in a while, but usually only one or sometimes 2.
Strange bird. After our Shakespere’s revival, I took up tweeting. It’s further Intertube Madness. Not sure how to read that shit.
Lovely weather in MN tonight. 20 and calm, lots better than iowa.
I mostly read twitter on my phone. It takes a while to get used to. And you have to be somewhat selective on who you follow.
I made 2 apple pies tonight. 1 for me to test, and 1 for tomorrow.
I have never made an apple pie before. It is good.
Good luck Vman. If it lasts longer than four hours you did it wrong. Call 911
Sadly, it looks like the only pie in the house tomorrow is pumpkin. Not a fan of pumpkin.
Take the circumference of a circle and divide it by the diameter. There’s yer pi.
Also, look out Double. Black Mold
OOPPs.
Sorry. (truly)
please to fix. Before Mom and Dad get home.
Thanx in advance
fuckem.
And nowhere in that calculation did I see any chocolate cream pie.
You may find you’re by yourself
Friends have all grown up and gone away
Drifting, falling you can’t derp yourself
The walls of cold and gray surround, they surround
wakey wakey
I have to wake my daughter up in a minute.
She’s going to be grumpy.
*shrugs
She SAID she wanted to run this with me.
Whoa, Car in! Up early to put the bird in?
I’m just closing out tabs before going go to bed.
Ahh, I get it, the Turkey Trot. Trot proudly!
Happy Thanxgiving, Y’all! Sorry to jam a vid into the thread. I forgot to TinyHurl. I’ll take a lap for it.
ch.
My turkey is frozen.
Oh no!
Why aren’t you running Forest?
Also new poat. https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2014/11/27/big-food-thursday/