Okay. I’m good now.
November 20, 2014
Categories: Generic Category Category, TITS, Your mom likes this, ZOMFG!!11ty! . . Author: Cyn, Widgets Fixerer
Mmmmm good morning, baby.
Secret Santa Sign-Up
Do it now.
Roamy’s poem from old poat:
Give me your drugged, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning for free shit
They can press “1″ for Spanish on their Obamaphones.
Send these, the La Raza and MS-13 murderers
As long as they vote Democrat!
Just a little thing i noticed, from the Mexicans at work. And they ALL do this. One is leaving today for a vacation. he’ll be back in 2 months.
he’s a cook. And he’s going on vacation for 2 months. They freakin do this all the time. Go back to mexico for 6 weeks. I think this one is going to California to visit his mom. I don’t know his status, but he barely speaks English.
Why do we want to give these people BLANKET citizenship?
I can’t take a freakin Saturday night off.
I’m done trying to entertain you people.
Our governor has to make “drastic” spending cuts because our stupid state is facing a $100 million deficit. That is .5% of the budget.
A .5% cut is making headlines.
He raised our taxes about 10X that last year.
I can’t wait to move.
My last vacation was in 1998.
My last vacation was in … 2010, I think. Camping. The last time we went all out – florida, disney – was in 2008. We may have done skiing weekends in 2011.
Meanwhile, the state has approved “another $5 million for the planning and design of a new Sandy Hook elementary school.”
I bet Hotspur could design all kinds of stuff for $5 million.
It’s time to pack the things.
2009 for me, but that was London and Paris.
I may take “vacation” today, and by that I mean use my precious PTO to be sick from flying twice and barely sleeping in between.
$5 million for the planning and design
$5 million for the planning
Why fuck can’t you build it for that much? WTF does a pole barn with interior lights and chalkboards cost?
Not to nitpick, but we aren’t giving them citizenship, just legal status.
Citizenship comes later, after the voter fraud.
Oh, you did skiing outings Car in. We heard ALL about them!
Yea, it’s been three years since i did that J’ames. And we did ’em as inexpensively as we could. They were awesome, even though it was just in Michigan. I really miss those.
Before the kids went to public school, we got real deals on ’em. We could go during the week. I think the last winter we were able to go, we only went twice. stayed in a much smaller joint, with a kitchen so we didn’t have to buy meals.
I remember skiing in MI, it was a lot of fun. Of course, that was back in the 70s, when we had to use tree branches and deer spit.
Two female privates are ordered to paint the general’s office. They are warned not to get paint on their uniforms. So they lock the door, strip down to their underwear and get to work.
An hour later, there’s a knock at the door. “Who is it?” they ask.
Thinking nothing of it, the privates open the door. “Hi,” says the man. “Where do you want the blinds?”
Today would be a good day to work sitting down. I’m wiped the heck out. I don’t think I slept more than 5 hours last night.
I don’t think I slept more than 5 hours last night.
Welcome to my world.
I’m not sure I need more than 4-5 hours. I feel the same (like shit) after 4 hours as I do after 9 hours of sleep.
So they lock the door, strip down to their underwear and get to work.
Speaking of Yes, heard this on the way back after dropping off the boys.
Car in, the DREAMers do that in Dallas, too. Except they leave their kids behind so they don’t miss school. My sister usually has students staying with her, because their parents are on vacation. She took a bunch of kids to the Grand Canyon one year. Their parents were in Mexico during Thanksgiving. Was constantly taking kids to my Mom’s before my Mom started living with her boyfriend.
How the fuck does one pay for a 2 month vacation?
My last vacation TITS, and before that was driving two days each way to see family at Christmas. During that one I still did work.
I’ve managed to convince my boss on a couple of occasions to let me stay over the weekend after a business trip if I have friends in the area, so at least I don’t have to pay for a plane ticket.
I get to do that tomorrow so I can study for my calc exam.
It takes about two months to unload the drugs to school kids
If you have no responsibilities, no job, etc., there’s nothing to prevent you from taking a vacation. Especially if you don’t have to pay for those pesky children that net you more government cheese every month.
Heh, TJ hit on the actual reason for the “vacation”. It’s the actual job.
Dog on lap. Can’t get up ever.
I’m pretty sure most of the croc fishermen on Swamp People only work a few months of the year, but they at least work like heck during those months.
IT’S AN EPIDEMIC! First dog head on foot, now dog in lap.
What’s next? On second thought, don’t answer that.
I’m pretty sure you can’t cook or wash dishes for 3 months to finance a year of life.
Yeah. The croc fishermen don’t have jobs. They are entrepreneurs. Croc season is only a month. Most of them have other businesses for the rest of the year, I think. Croc season is the high payoff part of the year.
Crocs are still a thing? Hunh.
Have been for like 70 million years, duh.
This is a croc.
They used to be way bigger, too, but that was back when the atmosphere had a lot more oxygen. We live in an era with a relatively weak biosphere because there is so much less oxygen and carbon dioxide to go around.
Fucking global warming is shrinking the crocs? Is there anything global warming doesn’t fuck up?
More organic cannabis gardening! http://youtu.be/z1dPaI93GWU
Actually, global warming may let them get large again.
The CO2 wants to be free so that Gaia can be lush and warm again. Only a genocidal madman would want to keep all the CO2 in the ground.
I thought the CO2 was in the ocean.
It’s there too.
Crocs are a scam.
This vacation thing is great. I should do it for two months.
I got out of bed for this shit?
You got out of bed to check your torrents, don’t put this on us.
I almost never run torrents. Really. Just about everything I want is available from a streaming site.
Whatever it takes.
Scotch and Soda.
CO3 isn’t, you know, possible, so if it takes that, it ain’t happening.
Maybe in your world, leon, but in Obama world, anything is possible!
President Pants On Fire
CO3 is how he keeps his pants from combusting.
So, Leon, somebody bought the ghetto bar. I hope they don’t do something crazy like fix the shithole up.
You should have bought it.
Do I really look that stupid?
I’d hate to own a bar. Terrible hours, and a lot of asshole drunks.
Christ, it’s just like being in the Army.
I spend very little time in bars, I’d have been awful at owning it.
Has it stayed open the whole time?
Think of the fish sticks!
It’s been open the whole time. The pizza joint next door closed on Saturday. Both buildings were sold. The guy who bought everything is talking about opening a Greek bakery in the pizza joint, which could be interesting.
MJ is a scam.
Open the whole time is a good sign. The restaurant around the corner closed a day before the For Sale sign went up.
A taco fish stick joint might do well next to that shithole dump.
Hotspur, I’m sure they’re planning to turn it into a theme bar.
The restaurant near my place seemed like a good fit for the area: standard American food, decent prices, pizza carryout, sports on flat screens around a bar, and occasional karaoke.
But the Moose lodge opened about a half a mile away, and I think that killed it.
It’s Ann Arbor, so the theme will likely be Communism or butchy lesbian.
I am soooooo gonna enjoy tossing HotSpur outa my bar…..
Even though it’s Ann Arbor, in our neighborhood the theme is more likely to be “Let’s trade mugshots.”
Or “See how good the white people are at ebonics.”
“Chardonney?? Are you fucking kidding me?? Get your ass outa here, ya fag!” – me in about one month
You’re gonna serve him a crisp pinot grigio instead, right?
Pfffftttt…. We’re not letting some Connecticut Nancy Boy tell us what to do.
There’s a new wine out for seniors. It’s a special blend of grapes that solves the frequent trips to the bathroom.
It’s called Pinot Mohr.
“Alright, who brought the corpse in with them? wait… it moved….. Oh, it’s you, Hotspur. Sorry about that. What can I get you?”
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
No, really, we like what you’ve done to the place. The bullwhips are a nice touch.
The bullwhips are a nice touch.
I’m not a big fan, but the regulars pretty much insisted that they remain. I just thought it would make more sense to hang them here instead of leaving them in the men’s room.
The knight stood on the shoulder of the road, looking at his disabled car.
He shook his head and said, ‘Chevrolet is dead.’
“I see,” said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
You guys are ruining Thorsday. RUINING!
Leon was a chemist’s son, but Leon is no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
My son’s spelling test consisted of synonyms of the word incorrect.
He was able to write every wrong.
Pipe down, Cyn. Men are talking.
heh heh heh…
Men are talking.
Come on, Sugartits, you can do better than that.
I had an account with a bank in the North Pole, but they froze all my assets.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
The ghetto bar will become an Elvis Presley-themed steakhouse? It will be for people who love meat tender.
I once considered becoming a prospector, but then I determined that it probably wouldn’t pan out.
I sent out ten puns to friends hoping at least one of the puns would get a laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
It’s down the road, not across the street.
Oh, wait, Laura, how may we help you?
Dijon vu — the same mustard as before.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.
*rips open shirt, grabs Cyn, carries her to safety
Did we lose Laura?
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during his root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
You people have no sense of humor.
And by you people, I mean anyone not contributing a pun. That’s just not punny.
*grabs lauraw with left hand
What is the difference between a pun and a fart? One is a shift of wit, the other…..
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
I thought I might become a physician, but it seems I wasn’t able to get indoctrinated.
What’s the difference between MJ and a fart?
I’ve been out all day. if you guys are doing puns, I’m gonna see if I have more running around to do.
The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference
Speaking of running…
My sister used a rusty razor to shave her legs and wrecked ’em.
What do you call a person who just downloaded 1,000 puns from the Internet?
Apparently, alone is a correct answer, too.
Whew! What’s that smell?
I laughed waaay harder at that than I probably should have.
I’ve had a great day. Drove down to MA for a conference and left plenty of time to get there early for a board meeting. In Malden-fucking-Massachusetts I get a flat tire on Rt 1. I pulled over into the first turn I came across and it turns out to be the Town Line Inn. I think it used to be a motel, now it’s a welfare hotel. I’m wearing a suit and I’ve never changed a tire on my truck. So I go to the front office expecting to get mugged. Some dude comes out, checks things out and helped me call a local guy who changes tires for a living. He had a hard time getting the spare out from under the truck himself and he was a giant kid, 6 foot 6 and at least 275 pounds. $25. I guess I’m always surprised when people turn out to be decent humans.
I just had my tires rotated Tuesday and I get a flat 2 days later. Last time I had them rotated I lost a hubcap. It’s at the friggin dealer too. I haven’t had a flat tire since I was a kid and couldn’t buy tires every few years.i have a friend who sells batteries in Worcester, maybe I’ll ask him if he knows anyone to get my flat fixed. It’s shredded, I had to drive on it a while before I could turn.
That’s the smell of patchouli. An herbalist moved in to the basement of the blog.
My body switched to winter mode in September, but we’ve only had a few days of winter. Today we hit 50 degrees, and it’s miserable. Windows open, no shirt, and I’m still sweating like it’s the day after a week-long bender.
Jew, go see a doctor or a shrink or something. Skinny guys don’t sweat at 50 degrees.
So today marks the day where I haved survived longer on this Earth than my father and great-grandfather and passed the year where my grandfather suffered his first heart attack.
Which means… IT’S PARTY TIME, BITCHES!!!!!
Cheers, Big Ears!
I was taking leaves this past weekend….. Slowly
Kinda weird being older than my father ever got.
What is the conventional wisdom on when a person will have sent out holiday cards? I, of course could look it up but your responses are more valuable to me.
congrats wiser – must be the clean living… or something
Chumpo, holiday cards go in the mail on the first of December, but only if they include an obnoxiously self-serving and optimistic family newsletter.
Otherwise, you buy the cards on the first, stick them in a box, and promise yourself to send them out later.
crackfat done. You can all breath easy now
Jewstin, at this time of the year, I’m still optimistic that THIS YEAR I’ll have all the cards done and mailed before Dec 10 or so. but given that I like to write a short personalized note/letter in each one, that simply doesn’t happen.
HAHAHAHAH! Cats welcoming soldiers home: http://imgur.com/a/IxyZN
Holiday cards? When did this shithole dump turn into a cesspool of liberal political correctness?
It’s the holidays, ‘Spur. You send a belated Thanksgiving card, a timely Christmas card, and a preemptive New Year card all at once.
It’s the green thing to do. You wouldn’t want to kill trees would you?
Good evening, ethnic cleansers.
What about Kwanza? When do those cards go in the mail?
*considers H2 newsletter
I wanna be the first to wish you fuckahs a Merry Kwanza.
Kwanza cards are fake. Never trust a guy selling Kwanza cards.
*Lights 8th doob for Kwanza.
Am I doing it right?
*Prepares Hotspurts Kwanza Card*
HotBride got us some fucking medical marijuana rice crispy treats. I have no idea where from. We had friends over for dinner Sat. night, and she broke that shit out.
Holy fucking camoley, I was still buzzed the next afternoon.
Kwanza! Kwanza! Kwanza!
Hotsput is The Father of KwanzaaH! All hail Kwame KilledPatricks the 3rd!
They call it Black Friday for a reason.
Iy’s another KwanzaCrazy Miracle!!
My cousin sends out a newsletter every year and it’s always something like this:
Boy #1 moved back with his girlfriend and her three kids. They’re pretty happy in the basement and WE’RE SO EXCITED HE’S BACK!!!!
The Girl is pregnant again and we CAN’T WAIT FOR THE NEW BABY! We aren’t sure who the father is.
Son #4 graduated from his freshman class. He’s so smart we CAN’T EVEN KEEP UP WITH THE HOMEWORK! It’s amazing.
It’s been a busy and exciting year and we’re all sure that next year will be EVEN BETTER!!!!
Loot me something nice for Kwanza.
Hahahaha Jewstin, I have some friends who send those letters out every year. I don’t even read them anymore. If they were even half-honest, I would read them.
I heard that if you go to Fergusin MO with you pillowcase on your head that the mayor is having a ghost of Kwanza’s Future contest and you could win a snow cone.
The guy I buy my heating oil from is also a friend. His wife had pretty bad arthritis and a couple of hip replacements. She’s on the medical marijuana for shoulder arthritis. It may be the best choice for her now. I think she just nibbles the brownies.
“nibbles the brownies” is a phrase that sounds dirty
She moaned as I nibbled her brownies. Is that dirty?
Am I the only person on this blog who hasn’t tried drugs? (I know, I’m a prude….)
A prude is judgmental. Don’t judge me.
I feel so judged right now. And by right now I mean everyday.
I promise not to judge your mom.
Your mom got a “10” from the Russian judge. And the Italian judge and the Greek judge…
I’br Neber Dried Rugz!!
*partialy nibbled Brownies fly out of mouth*
Here man, have some milk!
Anyone watching Telemundo? Did Obama do that thing he do so well yet? Do we still have a Constitution?
Whew, thanx purple dragon.
Jim, I know a family out there by the name of Maloy who have been delivering heating oil for evah. Ever heard of them?
The son wants me to produce a documentary about how he built his house. He uses some kind of Norwegian oven which is pipes hot air into his walls and ceiling. No heating oil.
Nope, don’t know them. This guy is from a boatbuilding family. He does a lot of different businesses including property development and management and the oil thing is a side thing.
I’ve read about those stoves before. They have a big mass of masonry and retain warmth well. If you have a tight house they can heat things up great.
Norway is make-believe, just like Elves, Gremlins, and Eskimos.
Gremlins are real. I met the one with the mohawk when I lived in San Francisco.
Did anybody get upset with anybody else for giving away a “spoiler” on a movie that came out five years ago today?
Or I was reeeealllly stoned. I can’t remember.
If I end up with the project I’ll be in the neighborhood.
Eskimos are real because Eskimo Pie.
I’ve never tried drugs. It makes my background investigations and polygraphs easy.
I’ll get you a Whoopie Pie if you’re in the neighborhood!
>>>Did anybody get upset with anybody else for giving away a “spoiler” on a movie that came out five years ago today?
He was dead all along
Did anybody get upset with anybody else for giving away a “spoiler” on a movie that came out five years ago today?
Leon. The candlestick. The study. Shame.
I went to an AC/DC concert, and the contact high scared me away from drugs. I had no depth perception for about two hours. No more of that shit.
Leon. The candlestick. The study. Shame.
I couldn’t help myself. Plus I thought I was alone.
The candlestick. Dammit. I figured it was the rope.
Also, I have pie.
Dan has never done an illegal drug in his life. He acts like I’m still a stoner.
He’s probably dead by now.
Where will DiT hold the wedding?
Day in, day out, I go to school and learn many things about the human body, human nature, and about people’s problems. But this question still burns in my brain:
How the FUCK did Bon Jovi make it to musical posterity? I hated their fucking shitty songs in the 80’s, and now that crap has somehow made it through time to survive into the oldies stations.
Who listens to that garbage? Other than that one girl I was friends with for three weeks around graduation? She was a really nice kid, but for God’s sake, she drove a Yugo.
Mini-me made pumpkin pie from real pumpkin, not the canned stuff. The pumpkin was big enough for two pies, so Mr. RFH had one for his office party, and we have one for us. It is awesome.
Gonna check to see if I posted the recipe at the recipeblog last year.
My youngest minion has Bon Jovi Greatest Hits on his iPad and plays it constantly. I think he likes to annoy me and his mom. In fact, the Yankees cap he wears around the house confirms that.
In 1987 the local radio station gave away a six pack of Yogos.
*Note to self: Lauraw and Bon Jovi.
‘On a steel horse, I ri. . .’
*pretends to hate Bon Jovi.
Livin’ on a Praaaaaaayoooorrr!!
I like Bon Jovi, seen them in concert many times.
*teases mane up high*
How do you load a six string?
I mean, really, Jon. That’s a tortured metaphor.
Bob Dillon got rich and famous too.
It had nothing to do with all the drugs we were doing.
Juan Von Hovie. He’s from Jersey right? Who was his competition? The Boss? I mean after The Director died Bon Bovine was it.
OH wow, I just google-looked up that girl I knew – she has a unique name. She is a honcho at some Singapore company now. Saw her picture, it is her. Respectable in her adulthood. She looks really terrific, too.
She had an even shittier childhood than me, iirc. My heart is happy to the brim for her.
I like to sing songs using a nasal Bob Dylan voice. We used to play a game where we would say a name + a song=singing that way. John Wayne+New York, New York=HAHAHA. Bon Jovi was a favorite.
But yeah, BON JOVI SUCKS
Hated Bon Jovi. Def Leppard was awesome, though.
I met, and made fun of, the drummer for New Kids on the Block.
He was about 30 and retired.
Shitty childhoods can lead to great adulthoods. All it takes is a little trust and pixie dust. (I love Disney)
The funny thing about Yugos is, people in this country started to steal/scavenge spare parts off each other the same way that people in Eastern Europe used to do for their own shitty little cars.
This girl tried to get me and another girlfriend to steal a part off someone’s Yugo that someone else had stolen off hers. I was like, “No.”
Used to do some “Ditch-Weed” back in the ’60s-’70s, and some mescaline at the company parties in the ’70s.
After that I got a CCW, an A&P license, and a pilot license.
None of those things go with illicit drugs.
Now WA has legalized weed.
The Fed-Gov has not.
I choose to keep my freedom, and not do drugs.
Who needs that shit?
I’d rather have my guns…
Scott, NKOTB. Serial. I didn’t make that up. It was on the package labels back in the day when I was setting NKOTB end caps and features.
My Grampo was a curandero. He grew pot right next to the yerba buena. He smoked it. My Grammo would steep it in a tea or add it to a salve for arthritis. La Cultura!
The Sea Hagz! Now there was a band. And The Big Boys. Huzzah!!
Ditch weed is making a comeback. Mescaline. I wish.
Def Leppard RAWKED.
I was driving to work a few weeks ago and there is this ‘unplugged’ musical program where acts play their stuff all acoustic. Anyway, I heard Def Leppard play a no-electricity version of ‘Pour Some Sugar on Me’ and it was unexpectedly wonderful.
I tried just about everything but heroin.
I have a big bottle of that salve that they made me in New Mexico. It works like a champ.
I should look and see if I still have Hysteria anywhere, and then buy it if I don’t.
I’m Scott’s twin. Morphine drips don’t count.
I love Def Leppard. I love Foo Fighters. The only reason Dan is even partially cool about Foo Fighters is because Dave Grohl talked to him at DL.
I love the smell of bread in the evening! It smells like… Bread!
I wanted to make the Hawaiian Sweet Rolls today, but it’s pretty cool, so I ran the gas-log for a LONG time.
When Anita finally pulled her head out of the code she’s working on, at about 1800, she came out of the computer-room with;
“It’s 80 fucking degrees out here! What are you doing?”
“Oh, You’re making those rolls?
They are done and pretty…
ChrisP, do you use pineapple juice in your Hawaiian Rolls?
Adrenalize, no Hysteria.
Pumpkin pie recipe poated. No trebuchet required.
With my long hair, all the weirdos stop me to ask where they can get a fix. I always send them to Martin Luther King Park where all the drunk/weird/homeless/hobos hang out. But I don’t actually know if that’s where they’re going to find what they’re looking for.
RANT: For the last 5+ years, my SIL has been having a Thanksgiving just for her family. Dan and I have been spending TDay with his parents. Our original plan was visit Dad, take dogs to MiL, watch football and cook. FiL passed. We were going to continue with cook and dogs. SiL wants to be part of Thanksgiving. I’m so pissed. My FiL would’ve loved a family Thanksgiving. Dogs are staying home.
HA! Watching a Magnum PI episode.
He trails people in a red Ferrari.
Because it blends.
You have a MLKJr Park in WY?
MLK is everywhere.
Yep, Oso. It’s actually quite a nice park if you ignore the teens pounding Sidepockets in the restrooms and the dreadlocked hobos with their dogs. Why do hobos always have dogs?
Yep. We have Cesar Chavez, too. Local kids call him Chester Cheeto. He H8D illegals as much as I do.
Hawaiian Sweet Rolls
1/3 cup milk (cold is fine, warm would help it rise faster)
1 scant tablespoon instant dry yeast
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, melted and slightly cooled
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
An 8 oz. can crushed pineapple, NOT drained (about 2/3 cup)
4 cups bread flour (all-purpose would also work)
1 teaspoon salt
For the tops:
1/4 cup water
A few tablespoons melted butter
Mix together the milk and yeast.
Let it sit for about 5 minutes.
Add the oil, butter, sugar, eggs, and pineapple and mix to combine.
Add the flour about 1/2 cup at a time, mixing well after each addition.
Add a little more if you need to.
It should be sticky, but not gooey.
Add the salt.
Knead for about 10 minutes by hand or in a stand mixer with a dough hook.
Cover with a damp cloth (or grease the top) and let rise until doubled (somewhere around 45-60 minutes).
Punch the dough down and divide into twelve equal balls.
Place in a well buttered 9×13 inch pan and let rise again until doubled (again, 45-60 minutes).
Preheat oven to 350ºF.
Beat together the egg and water for the top and brush the tops of the risen rolls with the egg wash.
Bake for about 25 minutes or until the tops are nicely browned.
Brush the top with some melted butter and serve warm.
I think it’s at the recipe thing…
Hobos have dogs because D-rats care more about critters than people.
I’m afraid to ask…..”pounding Sidepockets”?
Thanks, ChrisP. I’ll let Dan know.
Bcock, Sidepockets are some sort of beer. Something like Olde English but dirt cheap.
Oh. The bums around here drink the standard cheap shit beer. Colt45 and the like.
Dogs wake you if there’s danger.
*belatedly waves at Bcoch*
Is it Spring yet?
Chrspy, your recipe wasn’t in the recipe blog, but it is now. Thank you!
I should clarify. Sidepocket is a brand. A 40 costs a buck and change. I’ve never tried it but I’m guessing it tastes like despair.
Jewstin, that sounds about right for Colt as well.
I’ve never tried it but I’m guessing it tastes like despair.
Oh. So then it tastes like a Corona. Got it.
My family has been taking Dan out and about to show support. Total BS. I’m eating Chunky salad. Dan got a green chile cheeseburger at a hipster restaurant with my cousin, Monica’s hubby. (She was my FiLs dermatologist)
Chunky Chicken Salad? Chunky Tuna Salad??
The lying SCoaMF:
Our Club Manager picked up the check for our family post funeral lunch. My FiL has 2 sheds full of tools. His Dad helped build Elitch Gardens in Denver. We already got his guns. Too bad we lost them in a Rio Grande kayak accident.
Chunky vegetable salad. Cukes, onions, tomatoes, snap peas, and sharp cheddar.
Is Chunky salad code for rocky road iced cream?
I’ll have what Jewstin’s having.
Chunky bourbon. You know, a couple of ice cubes.
Jew, I wish!!!! I don’t even have a Klondike Bar upstairs!!!
HotBride got us some fucking medical marijuana rice crispy treats.
I had three doctors offer me scripts causa chronic nausea and weight loss, bla bla bla. True to equally chronic small-town, sheltered white bread upbringing, I had a flash of “but that’s illegal! and dangerous! and bad! and it’ll be on my permanent record!
Late to the topic: Dan gets most of his height from his thighs. If I’m sitting, not much difference. Kneeling…he towers over me. Huge crush on Cheyenne. Dan crouched down to my eye level and asked me if I would’ve married him if he had been short. I was like “Dude, friend zoned.” I had a hard time dating a guy who was 5’10. DBI always makes me feel huge.
You coulda brought MM treats to TITS?? Hmmmmmm.
Lippy, if it helps the pain. College friend had medical marijuana for leukemia. Good stuff. She would get rolled joints. Died in a helicopter accident a few months after being cancer free.
I H8 every single person that posted the Raiders one year without a win meme.
2 Members at The Club dress like furries/bronies. I can’t get their pics. Trying to get AP to post a pic. I think they are more like Lost Boys.
Oh that’s awful, Oso. (The helicopter crash, not the M MJ that helped your friend.)
So were you saying that your SIL now wants to have Thanksgiving with you and Dan after all those years of excluding you? Is Dan the executor/in charge of disposition of his father’s possessions by any chance?
I never got any, but if’n I had and there had been extra, I might have considered it to be a sort of hostess gift….
Lippy, they excluded my inlaws. Dan always put his parents first. Dan is executor for his Dad. His Mom always gave her daughter the benefit of the doubt. My FiL would’ve left everything to Dan. Dan is being fair. SiL is lucky that her Dad went first.
Excluded?? That’s sad.
Lippy, I have friends with MM license to grow in Cali. A little bit more for organic. I was like “WTF?” Only in Cali is there a distinction between pot and organic pot.
Cyn, yes. My SiL knew that my FiL thought her husband and kids were losers. She/they avoided him. Now, it is too late. He worked at the newspaper for 47 years. All he knew was hard work, family, and faith.
Really wish Roamy would write Let It Burn lyrics to Let It Go. (Roamy is an awesome lyricist)
He worked at the newspaper for 47 years. All he knew was hard work, family, and faith.
Rest in Peace, you good man.
THX Lippy. He was a simple man. He was a good man. His Mom hated Mexicans. He put me before his Mom. We still took care of his Mom. In spite of her raycism.
Sorry for your loss.
You should of made her tamales. The white man are suckers for tamales.
Dan is still in shock that Mi Familia stepped up. Even the Ivy League D-rats were there. My nephew graduates from UofA in the Spring. He is being recruited by UM law. He wants to go to Georgetown. If he ends up in Ann Arbor, it would kill my Dad. Good thing my Dad died in ’09.
Phat, we make tamales in Dec. She was way past tamales. She H8d my German/Irish MiL more than she ever H8D me.
Family is family.
A Solid family steps up. Like yours.
That’s something to take some comfort in.
Phat, familia. Sangre. I’ve met Cyn and COAlex in RL. I still feel closer to most of the peeps here than I do to familia in RL. I love all of you.
If your not integral to the funeral/affairs, just offer to cook.
When my step-dad passed i was the executor and up to my ass in things to do. I am obviously capable of feeding and watering my ownself, but I neglected to think about others coming in for the funeral.
I handled the wake, the funeral, burial, etc.
Just planned on catering the reception at Mom’s.
That would have been a mistake. People in grief or crisis need direction. By delegating the reception to Mom it gave her a purpose and a focus.
I know that this doesn’t really apply to your situation, but I haven’t thought about this for years.
I’m the wife. Dan has been in the middle for months. His Mom has dementia. He’s having to deal with everything and his sister. It has been brutal.
My Step-Dad’s wake was Epic Irish.
In his ”death instructions” he wrote:
“In the left drawer of the desk is an envelope with $3,000 in it. That is to buy the bar at the American Legion for a traditional Irish Wake. I hate to miss a party”
In a lot of states I guess there are rules about when/where you can transport a corpse and Frank was concerned about that.
When I explained to the funeral home that I needed the body to be at the legion hall from 7-10 pm they were really cool with it.
I still think it was illegal, but everyone got really drunk that night.
And it was all on Frank.
Cultural differences too. 3 adult children. In mi familia, one of the kids would’ve been with their grammo in July. My youngest nephew sat with me yesterday. I have him packaging leaves. Give me a little time, and he might be helping my MiL into next year. She won’t let our dogs in her beds or we would’ve moved in a few months ago.
So sad to hear that!
My prayers are with you osolita,
Phat, I have stories!!! (We really need another meet up)
THX. I Love you guys!
Is Dan a ‘take charge’ type?
In times of crisis people gravitate to leaders.
If so, maybe he can delegate most of the small stuff.
Phat, he is too busy taking charge and delegating that he hasn’t had time for himself. I’m waiting for the deluge.
Love all y’all. Feeling the fatigue. Still have time to H8 “E-quip”
When my step-dad died I went into ‘military mode’. My wife calls it it something less flattering, but the one thing I am really good at is crisis management.
I basically ordered people to do stuff and it worked out.
Same thing when I had to handle my grandparents funerals, I put on my imaginary Lt Col uniform and we got things done.
My step dad is buried at the AF Academy, so I actually had to wear the uniform for that one.
All of those funerals are still a bit of a blur to me.
I do remember drinking ALOT at at my step-dad’s.
Hey, don’t judge me! It was in the instructions.
The same instructions that directed me how to dispose of his gold and silver. Not to mention his extensive collection of firearms/ammo and survival food.
Yeah. he was that guy.
Layovers for the rest of the month:
San Jose (Costa Rica)
Rochester (over Thanksgiving).
For December it is:
Phoenix (Hello Cyn!)
Miami (Christmas Day)
If you live in one of the towns afflicted by my presence, drop me a line and we can meet for a cocktail.
Been on a phone call for the last hour,
I still feel closer to most of the peeps here than I do to familia in RL. I love all of you.
The feeling is mutual.
Phat, if LAX is in your future, I’m moving to ten minutes away, so let me know ‘k?
Baby, baby, won’t you hear my plea?
Oh, oh c’mon, just hear my plea
She said, “Derp to you, Daddy”
She ain’t comin’ back to me
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