Sunday Chive Thievery

Luckily, my sister lacked the arm strength to hold the position. It was probably the cooties draining her strength.

PJM Bait



*telepathically summons boobs*




  1. Booya.

  2. That breakfast girl certainly justifies some egg beaters

  3. Where all the people at?

  4. I dunno Beansees. Tatonka is here. You ready for the riots?

  5. Top notch poating, Buff. Top Notch.

  6. Good morning nice tiger lady.

    Out of coffee?

  7. HA!

    Kitteh the morning after jalapeño poppers.

  8. Kitteh after the lights come on.

  9. Kitteh after wall ball

  10. On the road today… retrieving some stuff from Mom’s up in Payson as she’s gonna be down here for a while.

    Y’all hold down the fort and try not to leave your breakfast beer bottles everywhere again. And keep the matches away from PG; he seems a little twitchy to me lately. And would it kill you to replace the toilet paper roll every once in a while?

  11. Kitteh after James Cameron movie:

  12. I have nothing constructive to add to this post or thread.

    And yet, here I am.

  13. You do have the option of adding something destructive.

  14. Excellent poat.

  15. So I read that the “protests” are going to take place in Clayton, MO.

    Guess they ran out of stuff to loot in Ferguson.

  16. *hoof-bumps Pepe*

    Got some snacks in the fridge, help yourselves.

  17. I’m about to make the MMM poat, because I’m getting on a plane at 530pm. If something goes wrong and it doesn’t pop up on schedule in the morning, someone please push it to the top.

    Thank you in advance nice person.

  18. Where you going Leon, Omaha?

  19. Fairfax again.

  20. I lived there until 1964.

    I bet it has changed.

  21. Time to go pack up the laptop and last bits and head to DTW.

    I’m already sick of this trip.

  22. The two largest, most-central passenger checkpoints at the primary terminal were open to TSA pre-check only. I had to walk an extra quarter mile.

    Transparent and deliberate inconvenience to get more revenue and data to mine. I hate that shit. I’m ready to start driving these damn trips.

  23. Man’s Poem needs moar sammich making

  24. When I can change back to my maiden name, I’ll get one of those special passports that lets you sail past the lines. Oh yeah.

  25. *imagines Lippy as a blushing maiden*


  26. Man’s Poem needs moar sammich making

    No need to get greedy.

  27. Heh

  28. By this time next week, I will be the proud owner of an iPhone 6Plus.

    I don’t know why I need a new, larger phone, but goddammit, I’m gonna have one!!!

  29. Woo hoo! I moved the antenna onto the roof.

    More free TV channels and the football game is now crystal clear.

  30. I’m reading an article by VDH about the Civil War and this seems useful for relating to Muslims:

    Sherman was obsessed with separating bellicose enemy rhetoric from facts on the ground. He believed that unless humiliation was a part of defeat, a tribal society of ranked hierarchies would always concoct myths to explain away failure.

  31. Wiser, I am assuming you actually held a iPhone 6+ in your hand. that thing is freaking huge.

  32. My NP got a new Samsung with the big screen and within a week traded it in for a regular iphone 6. She couldn’t fit the phone in her pockets easily.

  33. Somebody pass me the matches.

    I’ve lived in the Permian Basin of west Tx all but 3 years of my adult lifetime. It’s never snowed before thanksgiving. Until today. I might as well move back to the panhandle.

  34. P is me. I fucked up the login.

  35. Again

  36. Hi me!


  38. What the copulation is this defecation.


  40. My local Fox affiliate switched from Green Bay – Philadelphia to Arizona-Detroit. Is the Packer’s game really over or did it just turn out to be uncompetitive?

  41. One sided blowout.

  42. 46-13 now.

  43. I guess it would piss me off if I gave a damn about either team. The switch I mean.

  44. They switched here too buff. ARI-DET was a better game for the non GB-PHI fans.

  45. Birdgang!

  46. A lot of 50 point games in the nfl this season. I blame the nfl fining the shit out of defenders for behavior which has been legal and acceptable for 100 years.

  47. They say it’s for safety reasons. I’m curious if the injury rate has changed significantly or if different injuries are now happening.

  48. It’s probably Ray Rice’s fault. Most things are.

  49. I blame Terrell Owens.

  50. I blame Mare, and Santa.

  51. Wiser?

  52. Patriots win.

  53. I sure hope so. So far they’re looking good.

  54. Belichick will outsmart Luck, again.

  55. I don’t know a whole lot about business, but I have found a few surefire ways to attract customers to the driving range in the short term…

    -Step Outside for a Break: Haven’t seen anybody in the last 30 minutes? The instant I decide to go outside and vape or stretch my legs, everybody and their long-lost uncle will show up. At the same time.

    -Have Dinner: Works much the same way as the first, but at least some of the customers seem somewhat apologetic about interrupting.

    -Fart in the Office: The instant I cut one in here, someone will appear at the window, which is about two feet away from where I’m sitting. Interestingly, the potency and pungency of the fart miasma is directly proportional to the attractiveness of female customers showing up.

  56. Go to the bathroom.

  57. I don’t know why, but that one doesn’t seem to be much of a draw.

  58. Here it’s as effective as trying to eat.

  59. Since it’s California you could smoke a real cigarette and all the customers would drive off in self-righteous disgust.

    Some of them might throw biodegradable soda bottles at your head, but they wouldn’t be interrupting your break.

  60. Brushes with fame (from the mothership)

    I met the Duchess Fergie when I was in Switzerland. Had a short but pleasant chat with her. I was stunned by how short she was.

  61. A sizable percentage of our customers actually smoke real cigarettes. If you live in a state with fairly restrictive smoking laws and want to find businesses where you can smoke, look for the Asian community.

  62. If you pulled up a PORN-O site and contemplated a wank you’d probably get the community college volleyball team to show up.

  63. Fergie?

    My hump, my hump, my hump my hump.

  64. That’s more like a brush with vd.

  65. *cocktails without debriefing*

  66. My view, for a few moments, from my Mom’s deck in Payson this afternoon.

  67. Marshmallow shot – yes please.

  68. I made a version of these cookies a few times when I was in my early teens. I wonder if they’re really as good as I remember them? Probably not.

  69. I know, Cyn! I’d like to try that with an unsweetened coffee liquor.

  70. That would be killer, Laura. I might even try a second or a third one. I mean, if you twisted my arm.

  71. Gross.

  72. Did anybody feel like the coma they awakened from hadn’t really been sufficiently long for anybody else to have moved on with their life and remarried today?

  73. Killed it dead, I’m thinkin’.
    As far as IS, we should kill them all!
    GOD will know his own…

  74. This game is rather a blow out.

  75. Blerg

  76. Grelb

  77. Sigh

  78. I’m not saying that backwards. That would be ridiculous.

  79. Try saying “kcuf ouy rekcuskcoc” backwards.

  80. cocksucker you fuck

    That doesn’t make any damn sense.

  81. Oh, we have to make sense now here? You and your fancy rules!

  82. Oso’s gonna be pissed.

  83. Drawn into the stream
    Of undefined illusion
    Those diamond dreams
    They can’t disguise the derp

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